/- 


\ 


k 


AN    ACCOUNT    OF    THE 

L  I  F  E 

OF    THE     REVEREND 

DAVID   BRAINERD, 

MINISTER  OF   THE  GOSPEL  ;   MISSIOXARY   to  the  INDIANS  from  the 

HONOURABLE  SOCIETY,  IN  SCOTLAND,    for  the  PROPAGATION 

OF  CHRISTIAN  KNOWLEDGE  ;  and  PASTOR  of  a  CHURCH 

OF  CHRISTIAN  INDIANS  i.n   NEW-JERSEY, 

Who  died  at  Northampton,  in  New-England, 
Oodober  9th,  1747,  in  the  30th  year  of  his  age. 

Chiefly  taksn^  from  his  own  DIARY,  and  other  PRIVATE 

WRITINGS,    WRIITTEN   FOR   HIS  OH'N    USEi 

By  JONATHAN    EDWARDS,   A.M. 

1.ATE  PRESIDENT  OF  the  COLLEGE  in  NEW-JERSEY. 
TO     W  !!  I   C  H-    A  R  E      ADDED 

EXTRACTS  from  Mr.  Br ainerd*s  JOURNAL, 

COMPRISING  THE  MOST  MATERIAL  THINGS  IN  THAT  PUBLICATION. 


PRINTED    AT     H'O  RC  E  STE  R,    MASSACHUSETTS, 

J3  Y     £  E  O  N  A  R  D     WORCESTER, 


///UjCd^^^  ^^-^-^^  ~ 


S'Si^ft 


The      E  D   I    T   O    R*s 

PREFACE. 

1^  is  acknowledged  on  all  hands  that  one 
method  of  conveying  religious  and  jno'fal  inJlruHion  is 
hy  example.  This  is  a  medium  of  dijfeminating  truths 
mid  extending  the  influence  of  virtue  y  which  is  accom^ 
modated  to  every  capacity , and  adapted  in  a  peculiar  man^ 
ner  to  meet  the  feelings  of  mankind.    Examples  y  drawn 

jf{flfy*  exhibit  the  deformity  of  vice,  and  the  beauty  of 
virtue  ;  not  with  the  languor  of  mere  fpeculation,  but 
with  the  energy  offlriki/tg  faB,  in  which  the  legiti" 
mate  effeEl  offentiment  isfeen:  The  example  furnifh&d 
in  the  following  pages  is  that  offlriB  and  almofl  ufiva- 
tying  piety.  The  chriflian  lije  of  Mr.  Brainerd^ 
though  Jhort,  was  lovely.  It  was  fueh  as  has  flrik- 
ingly  adorned  the  doctrine  of  God  our  Saviour,  and^ 
as  delineated  in  this  volume ^  prefents  the  rnofl  falutary 
injiru^lion  to  all  defc rip t ions  of  men.     It  is  removed 

from  oflentatious  feeming  zeal  on  the  one  hand,  and  a 

flupid  jnaclion  on  the  other  ;  from  enthufiafm,  and  form'- 
ality.     Here  we  may  fee  the  leading  fentiments  of  the 

gofpel,  having  their  ge?iuine  influence  on  the  hearty  and 

A  i;  reduced 


1 


4  The    E  D  I  T  O  R*s 

reduced  to  a  uniform  praci'ice  ;  the  realfpirit  ofchrijli- 
anity.firipped  of  all  difguife,  and  forming  an  obvious 
contrajl  to  the  barren  indevout  lives  of  thoufands  of 
profeffors.     Mr.  Brainerdwas  achriflian,  not  in  name 
only  ;  but  in  reality,  in  life,  in  the  progrcffive  ardour  of 
true  godlinefs.     His  religion  was  fupernaluraU  and  ex- 
perimental;  founded  in  holy  love,  conflituting  a  bond 
of  union  to  God,  embracing  all  the  intcrcjis  of  his  gov- 
ernment ^  and  refembling  his  pure  nature.     It  was.  not 
the  7nere  decency  of  a  reformed  life,  the  popular  goodnefs 
of  the  prefent  day.   It  reached  the  heart,  and  formed  the 
■chara&er  of  the  whole  man*     It  did  not  conftfl  in  a  be- 
ing profelyted  to  one  party  or  the  other,  but  in  a  cor- 
dial,  unco?iditional,   perfevering  devotednefs  to  God 
through  the  grace  which  is  by  Jefus  Chrifl.     Since 
injiances  of  equal  piety  are  rare,  efpecially  at  the  pref- 
ent day,  it  is  happy  for  the  caufe  of  religion  thai  fuch  a 
life  has  been  preferved from  oblivion,  and  that,  through 
the  medium  of  the  prefs,  it  may  be  fpread  abroad,  as  an 
objcdl  of  refrefloi?tg  contemplation  to  Gpd*s  people,  and 
/IS  afource  ofrcjlraint  and  conviBion  to  finners.     T^he 
ILife  of  Mr,  Brai?ierd,  prefentedto  the  public k  by  Pref- 
ident  Edwards,  of  which  the  following,  excepting  fome 
few  retrenchments,  is  an  exa£l  copy,  has  always  been 
read  with  pleafure  and  improvement  by  the  friends  of 
pure  chriflianity.     And  the  editor  cannot  but  flatter 
himfelf,  that,  under  the  bleffing  of  God,  the  prefent  edi- 
tion may  have  its  utility,  in  the  fecurity  of  the  fame 
gr^at  obje5ls,  the  conviction  of  finners,  and  the  edifica- 
tion and  confolatiQn  of  fome  ^  at  leaji,  of  the  children  of 

Zion 


PREFACE.  i 

Zio7i,  ■  77'<?  autheiiticity  of  'what  is  exhibited  in  the 
Life  and  'Journal  of  Mr,  Brainerd,  can  admit  of  no 
doubt  ;  fince  the  former  was  publifJjed  by  a  gentleman 
'whofe  reputation  for  leaj-ning^  integrity,  and  univerfal 
piety  ^  is  eflablifhed  even  beyond  the  cavils  of  impie- 
ty itfelf  and  was  compiled  by  him  chiefly  from  Mr. 
Brainerd^s  own  Diary  ;  and  fince  the  latter  was  writ' 
ten  by  Mr.  Brainerd^s  own  hand,  was  attefiedby  fever^ 
al  reputable  miniflers  of  the  gofpel,  a?id'was  publijhed 
under  the  fan  61  ion  and  patronage  of  the  Society  for  prop- 
agating Chrifiian  Knowledge  in  Scotland.  With  re" 
fpeB  to  the  retrenchments  which  have  been  made,  the 
editor  has  ex^rcifedbis  befl  judgment ,  Nothing,  infa6f, 
has  been  fiippreffed  which  was  of  importance  to  anim' 
partial  dif play  of  Mr.  Brainerd's  charaBer  ;  nothing 
but  what  had  either  been  repeatedly  fold  before,  or  was 
local,  or  referred  to  circumfian-ces  in  which  the  reader 
cannot  be  interefled.  The  objeB  of  the  retrenchments 
was  merely  to  exclude  what  was  fuperfuous,  ^dthout 
concealing  a  Jingle  trait  of  charaBer ,  or  a  fngle  fenti^ 
ment  ;  to  reduce,  injhort,  all  that  was  confide rably 
valuable  within  afmaUcr  compafs.  Whatever  opinion 
the  critical  reader  may  have  of  this  alteration  ;  wheth- 
er he  may  think  it  an  amendment  or  difj'ervice,  the  edi- 
tor is  confdent,  that  the  volume,  as  it  is  nowprefentcd, 
will  be  deemed  by  all  the  friends  of  experimental  religion 
as  a  valuable  pojfcj/ion.  "  If  we  have  a  t  a  fie  for  moral 
beauty,  if  we  love  what  conflitutes  the  glory  ofGodhim- 
felf,  we  fhall  find  jatisfatlion  in  perujing  the  following 
pages.     May  ivefi^id fpiritual  improvement  alfo.  May 

A  3  we 


6  The    EDITOR'S 

we  bepro?npted,  in  imitation  of  this  eminent  fervant  of 
God,  to  gird  up  the  loins  of  our  minds,  to  make  an  habits 
ual  confecration  of  ourf elves  to  the  will  and  fej'vice  of 
Gody  and  like  him  find,  in  our  own  progreffive  experi^ 
ence,  that  the  ways  of  wifdom  are  ways  of  pleafant- 
nefs,  and  that  all  her  paths  are  peace,  ne  ferious 
reader  will  unavoidably  make  an  efiimate  of  his  own 
fpiritualflate,  inacomparifon  with  what  Mr.  Brainerd 
appears  to  have  experienced,  and  the  manner  in  which 
he  lived.  The  trial  will  be  f eve  re  ;  but  if  made  judi- 
cioufly  it  can  have  no  ill  effe6i.  As,  however,  Jo/ne  of 
God's  people,  who  are  rather  prone  to  view  things  on 
the  dark  fide,  may  be  in  danger  of  mifcalculating^  it  can- 
not be  improper  to  obferve,  that  a  man  may  be  a  real 
chriflian,  though  he  be  not  of  the  fiature  of  Mr.  Brai- 
nerd.  His  life  is  not  exhibited  to  the  puhlick  view  as  a 
Jlandard,  to  the  complete  meafure  of  which  every  one 
mufl  come  or  not  befaved»  It  is  believed  that  the  fpir" 
it  of  vital  chrifiianity  is  in  its  nature  every  where  the 
fam^e,  and  that,  in  the  general,  the  fame  things  in  kind 
mvfl  be  experieticed,  the  fame  affeBions  exercifed,  and 
the  fame  holy  converfation  maintained  :  But  of  true 
chrifiians  there  are  undoubtedly  fame  of  a  larger,  and 
fome  of  a  f  nailer  growth .  If  we  have  the  diflinguifhing 
evidences  of  a  fate  of  grace,  though  not  with  the  fame  in- 
dubitable clearnefs  with  which  Mr.  Brainerd.  Jeems  to 
have  been  favoured,  we  are  alkwed  to  entertain  hope  to- 
wards God,and  foould do  wrong  to  rejcB  the  confolations 
which  infinite  mercy  may  prefent  us.  Thefirong  ought 
to  bear  the  infirmities  of  the  weak  ;  and  the  weak,  in-. 

■  fiead 


PREFACE.  ^ 

Jlead  of  Jinking  into  a  dejeBed  unpy  qfitable  defpondency^ 
ought  to  prefs  forward  to  perfeBion. 

It  is  manifefi  that  Mr  Brainerd  was,  from  his  con* 

Jlitutional  habit,  inclined  to  melancholy.     His  bodily 

health  was  generally  low.     And  the  peculiar  circum^ 

fiances  into  which  he  was  thrown  in  the  prefecution  of 

his  pub  lick  duty,  confpired  with  his  natural  infirmities 

to  plunge  him  often  into  extreme  dejeBion,     This  de^ 

jeBion  the  carelefft!  reader  may  impute  to  his  particular 

views  of  chrifiianity.     But  they  ought  not  tobecort^ 

founded.     This  dejeBion  formed  no  part  of  his  religion. 

It  was  merely  animal.     His  religion,  in  faB,  was  his 

_  only  relief  from  his  depreffions.     That  the  reader  may 

be  exempted  from  that  unhappy  portion  of  his  experience 

and  enjoy  the  infinitely  precious  part,  the  divine  co}7fo^ 

lations  with  which  he  was  favoured,  is  the  fervent 

prayer  of  his  friend  andfervant  in  'Jefus  Chrijt, 

SAMUEL    AUSTIN^ 

Worcester,  May  29th,  1793. 


A  4  ADVERTISEMExNT. 


•^•^*->»'<$^2?<§X^?©:<f=£>V<  *t-< 


ADVERTISEMENT. 

TN  the  fubfcription  papers  the  publick  had  a  partial  encouragement 
that  (hould  the  fubfcribers  be  numerous,  there  would  be  a  diminu- 
tion of  the  price.  The  expectations  of  the  Editor  are  not  fully  anfwer- 
ed  in  this  refpefl.  But  had  they  been  anfwered,  the  addition  cf  moye 
than  fifty  pages  to  the  number  mentioned  in  the  conditions  will  be  con- 
fidcred  as  an  ample  equivalent  to  fuch  a  benefit,  and  be  a  fecurity  frona 
all  poflible  imputation. 


— =».»->ik®»'5^@<^^{gM-^s^^- 


i^g 
^'3?*^ 

^t^^ 


THE 


OF    THE     REVEREND 


DAVID    BRAINERD. 


PART       I. 

^roDi  his  Birth,  to  the  time  i£:be?2  he  began  to  devote 
himfelf  to  //jf  S  T  u  d  Y  ^Z"  D i  v  i  n  i  T  Y ,  //z  order  to  his 
being  fitted  for  the  Work  of  the  Ministry. 

[1^  yfR.  David  Brainerd  was  born  April  20,  1718, 
iVJL    at  Haddam,  a  town  belonging  to  the  county 
ofMiddlefex,  in  the  ftate  of  Connedicut,  New-En- 
gland.    His  father,  who  died  when  this  hisfonwas 
about  nine  years  of  age,  was  the  Worfliipful  Hezeki- 
ah  Brainerd,  Efqj  anafliftant,  or  one  of  his  Majefty's 
Council  for  the  then  colony,  and  the  fon  of  Daniel 
Brainerd,  Efqj  a  juftice  of  the  peace,  and  a  deacon 
of  the  church  of  Chrift  in  Haddam.     His  mother 
was  Mrs.  Dorothy  Hobart,  daughter  to  the  Rev. 
Mr.  Jeremiah  Hobart,  who  preached  a  while  at 
Topsfieid,   and   then   removed   to    Hempflead  on 
Long-Ifland,  and  afterwards  remioved  from  Hemp- 
'flead  (by  reafon  of  numbers  turning  Quakers,  and 
many  others  being  fo  irreligious,  that  they  would  do 
nothing  towards  the  fupport  of  the  miniftry)  and 
came  and  fettled  in  the  work  of  theminiliry  at  Had- 
dam :  Where  he  died  in  the  85th  year  of  his  age  ; 
Of  whom  it  is  remarkable,  that  he  went  to  the  pub- 
lick 


10  The  life   of 

lick  wor/hip  in  the  forenoon,  and  died  in  his  chair 
between  meetings.  And  this  Rev.  gentleman  was 
fon  of  the  Rev.  Mr.  Peter  Hobart,  who  was  firft 
minifter  of  the  gofpel  at  Hingham,  in  the  county  of 
Norfolk  in  England,  and  by  reafon  of  the  perlecu- 
tion  of  the  puritans,  removed  with  his  family  to 
New-England,  and  was  fettled  in  the  miniftry  at  Hmg- 
ham,in  MafTachufetts.  The  mother  of  Mrs.  Dorothy 
Hobart  (who  was  afterwards  Brainerd j  was  daughter 
to  the  Rev.  Mr.  Samuel  Whiting,  minifter  of  the 
gofpel,  firft  at  Bofton  in  Lincolnfhire,  and  afterwards 
at  Lynn  in  MafTachufetts,  New-Engiand  :  He  had 
three  fons  that  were  miniflers  of  the  gofpel. 

Mr.  David  Brainerd  was  the  third  fon  of  his  pa- 
rents.     They  had  five  fons  and   four  daughters. 
Their  eldefl  fon  was  Hezekiah  Brainerd,  Efq;  a  juf- 
tice  of  the  peace,  and  for  feveral  years  a  reprefenta- 
tive  of  the  town  of  Haddam,  in  the  General  AfTem- 
bly  of  Connedticut.    The  fecond  was  the  Rev.  Mr. 
Nehemiah  Brainerd,  a  worthy  minifler  at  Eaftbury 
in  Connedicut,  who  died  of  a  confumption, Novem- 
ber 10,  1742.     The  fourth  was  Mr.  John  Brainerd, 
who   fucceeded  his  brother  David,  as   miffionary 
to  the  Indians,  and  paftor  of  the  fame  church  of 
chriflian  Indians  in  Newrjerfey  :  And  the  fifth  was 
Ifrael,  ftudent  at  Yale-College  in  New-Haven,  who 
died  foon  after  his  brother  David.     Mrs.  Dorothy 
Brainerd  having  lived  feveral  years  a  widow,  died 
when  her  fon,  (whofe  life  I  am  about  to  give  an  ac- 
count of,)  was  about  fourteen  years  of  age  :  So  that 
in  his  youth  he  was  left  both  fatherlei's  and  mother- 
]efs.     What  account  be  has  given  of  himfclf,  and 
his  own  life,  may  be  feen  in  what  follows.] 

I  WAS,  I  think,  from  my  youth,  fornethingfober, ' 
and  inclined  rather  to  melancholy,  than  the  contrary 
extreme  ;  but  do  not  remember  any  thing  of  convic- 
tion of  fjn,  worthy  of  remark,  until  I  was,  I  believe,  . 

about 


Mr.   DAVID   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.       ii 

about  feven  or  eight  years  of  age  j  when  I  became 
fomcihing  concerned  for  my  foul,  and  terrified  at 
the  thoughts  of  death,  and  was  driven  to  the  per- 
formance of  duties*.  But  it  appeared  a  mclancholj'" 
buiincfs,  and  deftroyed  my  eagernefs  for  play.  And 
alas  !  this  religious  concern  was  but  Ihortlived. 
However,  1  fometimes  attended  fecret  prayer  ;  and 
thus  lived  at  eafe  in  Zion,  u- it  bout  God  in  the  world, 
and  without  much  concern,  as  1  remember,  until  I 
was  above  thirteen  years  of  age.  But  fome  time 
in  the  winter,  1732,!  was  fomething  roufed  out  of  car- 
nal fecurity,  by  I  fcarce  knew  what  means  at  firif  ; 
but  was  much  excited  by  the  prevailing  of  a  mortal 
ficknefs  in  Haddam.  1  was  frequent,  conffant,  and 
ibmething  fervent  in  duties,  and  took  delight  in  read- 
ing, efpecially  Mr.  Janeway's  Token  for  Children;  I 
felt  fometimes  much  melted  in  duties,  and  took 
great  delight  in  the  performance  of  them  :  And  I 
fometimes  hoped  that  1  was  converted,  or  at  leaftin 
a  good  and  hopeful  way  for  heaven  and  happinefs, 
not  knowing  what  converfion  was.  The  Spirit  of 
God  at  this  time  proceeded  far  with  me  j  1  was  re- 
markably dead  to  the  world,  and  my  thoughts  were 
almoft  wholly  employed  about  my  fouFs  concerns ; 
and  1  may  indeed  fay,  almoji  I  was  perfuaded  to  be  a 
chrijlian.  I wasalfo exceedingly  diftreiled  and  mel- 
ancholy at  the  death  of  my  mother,  in  March,  1732. 
But  afterwards  my  religious  concern  began  to  de- 
cline, and  I  by  degrees  fell  back  into  a  confidcrable 
degree  of  fecurity  ;  though  1  Hill  attended  fecret 
prayer  frequently. 

About  the  15th  of  April,  1733,  I  removed  from 
my  father's  hcufe  to  Ea(l-Haddam,  where  I  fpent 
four  years,  but  llill  without  God  in  the  world  ;  though 

for 

*  The  rrader  will  find  from  the  general  current  of  Mr.  Brainerd's  writings,  ihatoy 
the  term  duty,  he  doth  no'  mean  any  real,  genuine  compliance  with  the  law  or  gou 
pel,  but  certain  external  perlormanccs,  the  rclult  of  ronviilion  and  concern  or.ly,  and 
entirely  compatible  wiih  leiguing  enmity  of  Ueitr;  to  C;o4> 


12  TheLIFEof 

for  the  moft  part  I  went  a  round  of  fecret  duty.  I 
was  not  exceedingly  addidted  to  young  company,  or 
frolicking  (as  it  is  called.)  But  this  1  know,  that 
when  I  did  go  into  company,  I  never  returned  from 
a  frolick  in  my  life,  with  fo  good  a  conicience  as  I 
went  with  :  It  always  added  new  guilt  to  me,  and 
made  me  afraid  to  come  to  the  throne  of  grace,  and 
fpoiled  thofe  good  frames,  I  was  wont  fometimes  to 
pleafe  myfelf  with.  But  alas  !  all  my  good  frames 
were  but  felf  righteoufnefs,  not  bottomed  on  a  defire 
for  the  glory  of  God . 

About  the  latter  end  of  April,  1737,  being  full 
nineteen  years  of  age,  I  removed  to  Durham,  and 
began  to  work  on  my  farm,  and  fo  continued  the 
year  out,  or  near,  until  I  was  twenty  years  old,  fre- 
quently longing,  from  a  natural  inclination,  after  a 
liberal  education.  When  I  was  about  twenty  years 
of  age,  I  applied  myfelf  to  fludy  ;  and  fome  time  be- 
fore, was  more  than  ordinarily  excited  to  and  in  du- 
ty :  But  now  engaged  more  than  ever  in  the  duties 
of  religion.  I  became  very  ftrid:,  and  watchful  over 
my  thoughts,  words,  and  adions  j  and  thought  I 
muft  be  fober  indeed,  becaufe  I  defigned  to  devote 
my  felf  to  the  miniftry  ;  and  imagined  I  did  dedicate 
myfelf  to  the  Lord. 

Sometime  in  April,  1738,  I  went  to  Mr.  Fifke's, 
and  lived  with  him,  during  his  life*.  And  I  remem- 
ber, he  advifedme  wholly  to  abandon  young  compa- 
ny, and  aflbciate  myfelf  with  grave  elderly  people  : 
Which  counfel  I  followed  ;  and  my  manner  of  life 
was  now  exceeding  regular,  and  full  of  religion,  fuch 
as  it  was  :  For  I  read  my  Bible  more  than  twice 
through  in  lefs  than  a  year,  I  fpent  much  time  every 
day  in  fecret  prayer,  and  other  fecret  duties  :  1  gave 
great  attention  to  the  word  preached,  and  endeavour- 
ed to  my  utmofl  to  retain  it.    So  much  concerned 

was 

•  Mr.  rilkc  was  the  pallor  of  the  church  in  Haddam, 


Mr.    D  A  VI  D   BR  AINERD.       13 

was  I  about  religion,  that  I  agreed  with  fome  young 
perfons  to  meet  privateh''  on  Sabbath  evenings  for  re- 
ligious exercifes,  and  thought  my felffincere  in  thefe 
duties  ;  and  after  our  meeting  was  ended,  I  ufed  to 
repeat  the  difcourfes  of  the  day  to  myfelf,  and  recoi- 
led: what  I  could,  though  fometimes  it  was  very  late 
in  the  night.  Again  on  Monday  mornings,  I  ufed 
fometimes  to  recoiled:  the  fame  fcrmons.  And  I 
had  fometimes  confiderable  rnovings  of  affedionsin 
duties,  and  much  pleafure,  and  had  many  thoughts 
of  joining  to  the  church.  In  fliort,  I  had  a  very  good 
outfide,  and  refted  entirely  on  my  duties,  though  I 
was  not  fenfible  of  it. 

After  Mr.  Fiflce's  death,  I  proceeded  in  my  learn- 
ing with  my  brother  ;  and  was  flillvery  conllant  in 
religious  duties,  and  often  wondered  at  the  levity  of 
profcffors ;  it  was  a  trouble  to  me,  that  they  were  fo 
carelcfs  in  religious  matters.  Thus  I  proceeded  a 
confiderable  length  on  a  felf  righteous  foundation; 
and  riiould  have  been  entirely  loll  and  undone,  had 
not  the  mere  mercy  of  God  prevented. 

Some  rime  in  the  beginning  of  winter,  anno  1738, 
it  plcafed  God,  on  one  Sabbath  day  morning,  as  I 
was  walking  out  for  fome  fecret  duties  (as  I  remem- 
ber) to  give  me  on  a  fndden  fuch  a  fenfe  of  my  dan- 
ger and  the  v\rath  of  God,  that  I  ftood  amazed,  and 
my  former  good  frames,  that  I  had  pleafed  myfelf 
^^'ith,  all  prefently  vaniflicd  ;  and  from  the  view, 
that  I  had  of  my  fm  and  vilene[s,  I  was  much  dif- 
trelTed  all  that  day,  fearing  the-  vengeance  of  God 
would  foon  overtake  me  ;  I  was  much  dejected,  and 
kept  much  alone,  and  fometimes  begrudged  the  birds 
and  beaits  their  happinefs,  becaufe  they  were  not  ex- 
pofed  to  eternal  mifery,  as  I  evidently  faw  I  was. 
And  thus  I  lived  from  day  to  day,  being  frequently 
in  great  diflrefs.  Sometimes  there  appeared  moun- 
tains before  me  to  Obllrud  my  hopes  of  mercy  ;  and 

the 


14  TheLIFEof 

the  work  of  converfion  appeared  fo  great,  I  thought 
I  (hould  never  be  the  fubjed:  of  it  :  But  ufed  how- 
ever, to  pray  and  cry  to  God,  and  perform  other  du- 
ties with  great  earneftnefs,  and  hoped  by  fome 
means  to  make  the  cafe  better.  And  though  I,  hun- 
dreds of  times,  renounced  all  pretences  of  any  w©rth 
in  my  duties  (as  I  thought)  even  in  the  feafonof  the 
performance  of  them,  and  often  confefTed  to  God 
that  I  deferved  nothing  for  the  very  bcft  of  them, 
but  eternal  condemnation  :  Yet  {till  I  had  a  fecrct 
latent  hope  of  recommending  myfelf  to  Godi)y  my 
religious  duties  ;  and  when  J  prayed  affectionately, 
and  my  heart  feemed  in  fome  meafure  to  melt,  I 
hoped  God  would  be  thereby  moved  to  pity  me  ;  my 
prayers  then  looked  with  fome  appearance  of  good- 
nefs  in  them,  and  I  feemed  to  mourn  for  fin  ;  and 
then  I  could  in  fome  meafure  venture  on  the  mercy 
of  God  in  Chrifl,  (as  I  thought  ;)  though  the  pre- 
ponderating thought  and  foundation  of  my  hope  was 
fome  imagination  of  goodnefsin  my  heart  meltings, 
and  flowing  of  affedlions  in  duty,  and  fometimes  ex- 
traordinary enlargements  therein,  &c.  Though  at 
fome  times  the  gate  appeared  fo  very  ftrait,  that  it 
looked  next  to  impoflible  to  enter,  yet  at  other  times 
I  flattered  myfelf  that  it  was  not  fo  very  difficult, 
and  hoped  I  fhould  by  diligence  and  watchfulnefs 
foon  gain  the  point.  Sometimes  after  enlargement 
in  duty  and  confiderable  affe(5tion,  I  hoped  I  had 
made  a  good  ftep  towards  heaven,  and  imagined 
that  God  was  affected  as  1  v/as,  and  that  he  would 
hear  fuch  fincere  cries,  (as  I  called  them)  and  fo 
fometimes  when  I  withdrew  for  fecret  duties  in  great 
diftrefs,  I  returned  fomething  comfortable  ;  and  thus 
healed  myfelf  with  my  duties. 

Some  time  in  February,  1738,9,1  fet  apart  a  day  for 
fecret  faffing  and  prayer,  and  fpent  the  day  in  al- 
moft  inceffant  cries  to  God  for  mercy,  that  he  would 

open 


^   Mr.   DAVID    BR  A  I  NERD.       15 

open  my  eyes  to  fee  the  evil  of  fin,  and  the  way  of 
life  by  Jefus  Chriil.  And  God  was  pleafed  that  day 
to  make  confiderable  difcoveries  of  my  heart  to  me  : 
But  ftill  I  trufled  in  all  the  duties  I  performed  ; 
though  there  was  no  manner  of  goodnefs  in  the  du- 
ties I  then  performed,  there  being  no  manner  of  re- 
fpecft  to  the  glory  of  God  in  them,  nor  any  fuch  prin- 
ciple in  my  heart  :  Yet  God  was  pleafed  to  make 
my  endeavours  that  day,  a  means  to  Ihew  me  my 
helpleflhefs,  in  fomemeafure. 

Sometimes  I  was  greatly  encouraged,  and  imagin- 
ed that  God  loved  me  and  was  pleafed  with  me,  and 
thought  I  fhould  foon  be  fully  reconciled  to  God  ; 
while  the  whole  was  founded  on  mere  prefumption, 
arifing  from  enlargement  in  duty,  or  flowing  of  af- 
fections, or  fome  good  refolutions,  and  the  like. 
And  when,  at  times,,  great  diftrefs  began  to  arife,  on 
a  fight  of  my  vilenefs  and  nakednefs,  and  inability 
to  deliver  myfelf  from  a  fovereign  God,  I  ufed  to 
put  off  the  difcovery,  as  what  I  could  not  bear.  Once, 
I  remember,  a  terrible  pang  of  diftrefs  feized  me, 
and  the  thoughts  of  renouncing  myfelf,  and  ftand- 
ing  naked  before  God,    ftripped  of  all  goodnefs, 
were  fo  dreadful  to  me,   that  I  was  ready  to  fay  to 
them  as  Felix  to  Paul,  Go  thy  way  for  this  time. 
Thus,  though  I  daily  longed  for  greater  convid:iori 
of  fin,  fuppofing  that  I  muft  fee  more  of  my  dread- 
ful ft:ate  in  order  to  a  remedy,  yet  when  the  difcov- 
eries of  my  vile  hellifh  heart  were  made  to  me,  the 
fight  was  fo  dreadful,  and  fhewed  mc  fo  plainly  my 
expofednefs  to  damnation,  that  I  could  not  endure 
it.     I  conftantly  ftrove  after  whatever  qualifications, 
I  imagined  others  obtained  before  the  reception  of 
Chrift,  in  order  to  recommend  me  to  his  favour. 
Sometimes  I  felt  the  power  of   an  hard  heart,  and 
fuppofed  it  muft  be  foftened  before  Chrift  would 
accept  of  mc  j  and  when  I  felt  any  meltings  of  heart, 

I 


i6  TheLIFEof 

I  hoped  now  the  work  was  almoft  done  :  And  hence, 
when  my  diftrefs  ftill  remained,  I  was  wont  to  mur- 
mur at  God's  dealings  with  me;  and  thought,  when 
others  felt  their  hearts  foftened,  God  fliewed  them 
mercy  :  But  my  diftrefs  remained  ftill. 

Sometimes  I  grew  remifs  and  fluggirti,  without 
any  great  convictions  of  fin,  for  a  confiderable  time 
together;  but  after  fuch  a  feafon,  convictions  fome- 
times  feized  me  more  violently.  One  night  Ire- 
member  in  particular,  when  I  was  walking  fblitari- 
ly  abroad,  1  had  opened  to  me  fuch  a  v\tw  of  my 
fin,  that  I  feared  the  ground  would  cleave  afunder 
under  my  feet,  and  become  my  grave,  and  fend  my 
foul  quick  into  hell,  before  I  could  get  home.  And 
though  I  was  forced  to  go  to  bed,  left  my  diftrefs 
fhould  be  difcovered  by  others,  which  I  much  fear- 
ed j  yet  I  fcarce  durft  fteep  at  all,  for  I  thought  it 
would  be  a  great  wonder  if  I  fhould  be  out  of  hell  in 
the  morning.  And  though  my  diftrefs  was  fometimes 
thus  great,  yet  I  greatly  dreaded  the  lofs  of  convic- 
tions, and  returning  back  to  a  ftate  of  carnal  fecurity, 
and  to  my  former  infenfibility  of  impending  wrath; 
which  made  me  exceeding  exa6t  in  my  behaviour, 
left:  I  fhould  ftifle  the  motions  of  God's  Spirit.  When 
at  any  time  I  took  a  view  of  my  convidlions  of  my 
own  finfulnefs,  and  thought  the  degree  of  them  to 
be  confiderable,  I  was  wont  to  truft  in  my  convic- 
tions :  But  this  confidence,  and  the  hopes  that  arofe 
in  me  from  it,  of  foon  making  fome  notable  advances 
towards  deliverance,  would  eafe  my  mind,  and  I 
foon  became  more  fenfelefs  and  remifs  :  But  then 
again  when  I  difcerned  my  convidlions  to  grow  lan- 
guid, and  I  thought  them  about  to  leave  me,  this 
immediately  alarmed  and  diftrefifed  me.  Sometimes 
I  expeded  to  take  a  large  ftep,  and  get  very  far  to- 
wards converfion  by  fome  particular  opportunity  or 

means  I  had  in  view. 

The 


Mr.   DA  VID   BR  AINERD.        17 

The  many  difappointments,  and  great  diftreffes 
and  perplexity  1  met  with,  put  me  into  a  moft  hor- 
iibie  frame  of  contelling  with  the  Almighty  ;  with 
an  inward  vehemence  and  virulence,  finding  fault 
with  his  ways  oi  dealing  with  mankind.     I  found 
great  fault  with  the  imputation  of  Adam's  im  to  his 
pofterity  :  And  my  wicked  heart  often  wiihed  for 
ibme  other  way  of  falvation  than  by  Jefus  Chrift  : 
And  being  Uke  the  troubled  fca,  and  my  thoughts 
confufed,  i  ufed  to  contrive  to  efcape  the  wrath  of 
God  by  fome  other  means,  and  had  flrange  projec- 
tions, full  of  Atheifm,  contriving  to  difappoint  God*s 
defi^ns  and  decrees   concerning   me,   or  to  efcape 
God's  notice,  and  hide  m)'felt  from  him  :  But  when, 
upon  refled.ion,  I  favv  ihefe  projections  were  vain, 
and  would   not  ferve  me^  and  that  I  could  contrive 
nothing  for  my  own  relief,  this  would  throw  my 
mind  into  the  moil  horrid  frame,  to  wifli  there  was 
no  God,  or  to  wilh  there  were  fome  other  God  that 
could  control  him,  6cc.     Thefe  thoughts  and  de- 
lires  were  the  fecret  inclinations  of  my  heart,  that 
were  frequently  atting  before  I  was  aware  ;  but  alas, 
they  were  mine  !  although  I   was   affrighted  with 
them,  when  I  came  torei!e(5f  on  them  :  When  I  con- 
fidered  of  it,  it  diilrcired  me,  to  think  that  my  heart 
was  fo  full  of  enmity  againjl  God  ;  and  it  made  me 
tremble,  lefl  God's  vengeance  Ihould  fuddenly  fall 
upon  me.     I  ufed  before  to  imagine  my  heart  was 
not  fo  bad  as  the   icriptures  and  fome  other  books 
reprcfcnted.     Sometim.es  I  ufed  to  take  much  pains 
to  work  it  up  into  a  good  framei  a  humble  ilibmif- 
fivc  difpoiition  ;    and  hoped   there  was  then  fome 
goodnefs  in  me  :    But  it  may  be  on  a  fudden,  the 
thoughts  of  the  ftridtnefs  of  the  law,  or  the  fovereign- 
xy  ot  God,   would  fo  irri'ate  the  corruption  of  my 
heart,  that  I  had  fo  watched  over,  and,  hoped  I  had 
Drought  to  a  good  frame,  that  it  would  break  over 
B  all 


i8  T  II  L    L  I  F  E    o  r 

all  bounds,  and  biirll:  forth  on  all  fides,  like  fiood: 
of  waters,  when  they  break  down  their  dam.  But 
being  fenfible  of  the  necefTity  of  a  deep  humiliation  in 
order  to  a  faving  clofe  with  Chrift,  1  ufed  to  fetmy- 
^felf  to  work  in  my  own  heart  thofeconvid:ions,  that 
were  requifite  in  fiich  an  humiliation  :  As,  a  convic- 
tion, that  God  would  be  juft,  it  hecaft  me  off  forev- 
er ;  and  that  if  ever  God  Ihould  bellow  mercy  on 
me,  it  would  be  mere  grace,  though  I  fhould  be  in 
diftrcfs  many  years  firft,  and  be  never  fo  much  en- 
gaged in  duty  ;  that  God  was  not  in  the  leaft  obliged 
to  pity  me  the  more  for  all  paft  duties,  cries,  and 
tears,  &c.  Thefc  things  I  ftrovc  to  my  utmoft  to 
bring  myfelftoa  firm  belief  of,  and  hearty  affent 
to  ;  and  hoped  that  now  1  was  brought  off  from  my- 
self, and  truly  humbled  and  bowed  to  the  divine 
fovereignty  ;  and  was  wont  to  tell  God  in  my  pray- 
ers, that  now  I  had  thofe  very  difpolitions  of  foul 
that  he  required,  and  on  which  he  fliewed  mercy  to 
ethers,  and  thereupon  to  beg  and  plead  for  mercy 
to  me  :  But  when  1  found  no  relief,  and  was  fliil 
oppreffed  with  guilt  and  fears  of  wrath,  my  foul  was 
in  a  tumult,  and  my  heart  rofe  againfl  God,  as  deal- 
ing hardly  with  me.  Yet  then  my  confcience  flew 
in  my  face,  putting  me  in  mind  of  my  late  confef- 
iion  to  God  of  his  juifice  in  my  condemnation,  &c. 
And  this,  giving  me  a  light  of  the  badnefs  of  my 
.Jieart,  threw  me  again  into  diflrefs,  and  I  wiflied  [ 
had  watched  my  heart  more  narrowly,  to  keep  it 
from  breaking  out  againft  God*s  dealings  with  me, 
and  I  even  wiflied  1  had  not  pleaded  for  mercy  on 
account  of  my  humiliation,  becaufc  thereby  I  had 
loll  all  my  feeming  goodnefs. 

Thus,  fcores  of  times,  1  vainly  imagined  myfeli 
humbled  and  prepared  for  faving  mercy. 

While  I  was  in  this  diflrelfcd,  bewildered,  and 
tumultuous  ftate  of  mind,  the   corruption  of  my 

heart 


Mr.   DAVID   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.        19 

heart  was  efpecially  irritated  with  thefe  things  fol- 
lowing : 

I .  The  ftricflnefs  of  the  divine  law.     For  I  found 
it  was  impoflible  for  me,  after  my  iitmoft  pains,  to 
anfwer  the  demands  of  it.     I  often  made  new  refolu- 
rions,  and   as  often   broke   them.     I   imputed   the 
whole  to  careleiTnefs,  and  the  want  of  being  more 
watchful,  and  ufed  to  call  myfelf  a  fool  for  my  neg- 
ligence :  But  when,  upon  a  ftronger  refolution,  and 
greater  endeavours,  and  clofe  application  ot  myfelf 
to  falling  and  prayer,  1  found  all  attempts  fail,  then 
1  quarrelled  with  the  law  of  God,   as  unreafonably 
rigid.     1  thought,  if  it  extended  only  to  my  outward 
a(5tions  and  behaviour,  I  could  bcarv/ith  it  :  But  I 
found  it  condemned  me  for  niy  evil  thoughts,  and 
fins  of  my  heart,  which  I  could  not  poffibly  prevent. 
I  was  extremely  loth  to  give  out,  and  own  my  utter 
helplelTnefs  in  this  matter  :  But  after  repeated  dif- 
appointments,   tliought  that,  rather  than  perilli,  I 
could  do  a  little  more  Hill,  efpecially  iffuchand  fuch 
circumflanccs  might  but  attend  my  endeavours  and 
llrivings;  I  hoped  tliat  I  fliouldftrivemore  earneftly 
ly  than  ever,  if  the  matter  came  toextremity  (though  I 
nevcrcould  find  the  time  todomyutmoff,  in  the  man- 
ner 1  intended:)  And  this  hope  of  future  more  favour- 
ablecircumftances,andofdoingfomethinggreathere- 
after,  kept  me  from  defpair  in  myfelf,  and  from  fee- 
ing myfelf  fallen  into  the  hands  of  a  fovereign  God,  and 
dependent  on  nothing  but  free  and  boundleis  grace  t 
2.  Another  thing  was,  that  faith  alone  was  the 
condition  of  falvation  ;    and  that  God  would  not 
come  down  to  lower  terms,  that  he  would  not  prom- 
ife  life  and  falvation  upon   my  fuicere  and  hearty 
prayers  and  endeavours.     That  word,  Mark  xvi.  16. 
He  that  helieveth  not,  jhall he  damned,  cut  off  all  hope 
there  :  And  I  found,  faith  was  the  fovereign  gift  ot 
God  j  that  i  could  not  get  it  as  of  myfelf,  and  could 

B  %  not 


20  TheLIFEof 

not  oblige  God  to  beftow  it  upon  me,  b)'  any  of  my 
performances.  Eph.  ii.  i.  8.  This,  I  was  ready  to 
fay,  is'  a  hard  fiyi'igy  JVho  can  hear  it  P  I  could  not 
bear,  that  all  I  had  done  (liould  ftand  for  mere  noth- 
ing, who  had  been  very  confcientious  in  duty,  and 
had  been  exceeding  religious  a  great  while,  and  had 
(as  I  thought)  done  much  more  than  many  others 
that  had  obtained  mercy.  I  eonfefled  indeed  the 
vilenefs  of  my  duties  ;  but  then,  what  made  them 
at  that  time  feem  vile,  v/as  my  wandering  thoughts 
in  them  ;  not  becaufe  I  was  all  over  defiled  like  a 
devil,  and  the  principle  corrupt  from  whence  they 
flowed,  fo  that  I  could  not  poffibly  do  any  thing  that 
was  good.  And  therefore  I  called  what  I  did,  by 
the  name  of  honeft  faithful  endeavours  ;  and  could 
not  bear  it,  that  God  had  made  no  promifes  of  falva- 
tion  to  them. 

3.  Another  thii7g  was,  that  I  could  not  find  out 
what  faith  was  5  or  what  it  was  to  believe,  and 
eome  to  Chrift.  I  read  the  calls  of  Chrifl,  made  to 
the  weary  and  heavy  laden  ;  but  could  iind  no  way, 
that  he  directed  them  to  come  in.  I  thought,  I 
would  gladly  come,  if  I  knew  how,  though  the  path 
of  duty  dirc6ted  to  were  never  fo  difficult.  I  read- 
Mr.  Stoddard's  Guide  to  Chrifl:  (which  I  truflwas, 
in  the  hand  of  God,  the  happy  means  of  my  conver- 
fion)  and  my  heart  rofe  againft  the  author  ;  for 
though  he  told  me  my  very  heart  all  along  under  con- 
victions, and  feemed  to  be  very  beneficial  to  mc  in 
his  directions  ;  yet  here  he  failed,  he  did  not  tell  me 
any  thing  I  could  do,  that  would  bring  me  to  Chrift, 
but  left  me  as  it  were  with  a  great  gulf  between  m.e 
and  Chrilt,  without  any  direction  to  get  through. 
For  I  was  not  yet  effe(5tually  and  experimentally 
taught,  that  there  could  be  noway  prefcribed,  where- 
by a  natural  man  could,  of  his  own  ftrength,  obtain 
that  which  is  fupcrnaturai,  and  which  the  h.igheft 
angel  cannot  give. 

4.  Another 


M  R.  D  A  V  I  D  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.        21 

4.  Another  thing  that  I  found  a  great  inward  op- 
poiition  to,  was  the  Ibvereignty  of  God.  I  could 
not  bear,  that  it  Ihould  be  wholly  at  God*s  pleafure, 
to  fave  or  damn  me,  jufl  as  he  would.  That  paf- 
fage,  Rom.  ix.  11 — 23.  was  a  conftant  vexation  to 
me,  efpccially  verfe  21 .  The  reading  or  meditating 
on  this  always  deftroyed  my  feeming  good  frames  : 
When  I  thought  I  was  almoft  humbled,  and  almofl 
refigned  to  G«>  J's  fovereignty,  the  reading  or  think- 
ing on  this  palTage  would  make  my  enmity  againft 
the  fovereignty  of  God  appear.  And  when  1  came 
to  refle6l  on  my  inward  enmity  and  blafphemy,  that 
arofe  on  this  occafion,  I  was  the  more  afraid  ot  God, 
and  driven  further  from  any  hopes  of  reconciliation 
with  him  ;  and  it  gave  me  fuch  a  dreadful  view  of 
myfelf,  that  I  dreaded  more  than  ever  to  fee  myfelf  in 
God*s  hands,  and  at  his  fovereign  difpofal,  and  it 
made  me  more  oppofite  than  ever  to  lubmit  to  his 
fovereignty  ;  for  I  thought  God  dcfigned  my  dam- 
nation. 

All  this  time  the  Spirit  of  God  was  powerfully  at 
work  with  me;  and  I  was  inwardly  prefled  torelin- 
quifh  all  fclf  confidence,'  all  hopes  of  ever  helping 
myfelf  by  any  means  whatfoever  ;  And  the  convic- 
tion of  my  loil  eftate  was  fometimes  (o  clear  and 
manifefl:  before  my  eyes,  that  it  was  as  if  it  had  been 
declared  to  me  in  fo  many  words,  '*  It  is  done,  it  is 
done,  it  is  forever  impoflibleto  deliver  yourfelf."  For 
about  three  or  four  days,  my  foul  was  thus  diflrefTed', 
cfpecially  at  fome  turns,  when  for  a  few  moments  I 
fccmed  to  myfelf  loll  and  undone  ;  but  thicn  would 
Ihrink  back  immediately  from  the  fight,  be- 
caufe  I  dared  not  venture  myfelf  into  the  hands  of 
God,  as  wholly  helplcfs,  and  at  the  difpofal  of  his 
fovereign  pleafure.  I  dared  not  fee  that  important 
truth  concerning  myfelf,  that  I  was  dead  in  trefpajjcs 
and  fms.  But  when  I  had  as  it  were  thrufl:  aw;iy 
B  3  thcfe 


0,%  TheLIFEof 

thefc  views  of  myfclf  at  any  time,  I  felt  diilrefled  to 
have  the  fame  difcoveries  of  myfelf  again  ;  for  1 
greatly  feared  being  given  over  of  God  to  final  flu- 
pid-ity.  When  I  thought  of  putting  it  off  to  a  more 
(on-venieut  fcafon^  the  convi<ftion  was  fo  clofe  and 
powerful  with  regard  to  the  prefenttime,  that  it  was 
the  bell  time,  and  probably  the  only  time,  that  I 
dared  not  put  it  off.  It  was  the  fight  of  truth  con* 
cerning  myfelf,  truth  refpe(5ting  myflate,  as  a  crea- 
ture fallen  and  alienated  from  God,  and  that  confe- 
quently  could  make  no  demands  on  God  for  mercy, 
but  muft  fubfcribe  to  the  abfolute  fovercignty  of  the 
Divine  Being  j  the  fight  of  the  truth,  I  fay,  my 
foul  fhrankaway  from,  and  trembled  to  think  of  be- 
holding. ThuSy  be  that  doih  evil  {2iS  all  unregener- 
ate  men  continually  do)  hates  the  light  of  truths 
neither  cares  to  eome  to  it^  becauie  it  will  reprove  his 
deeds  J  and  fliew  him  his  jufl  deferts.  (John  iii.  20.) 
And  though,  fome  time  before,  I  h^d  taken  much 
pains  (as  I  thought)  to  fubmit  to  the  fovereignty  of 
God,  yet  I  miflook  the  thing  ;  and  did  not  once  im- 
agine, that  feeing  and  being  made  experimentally 
fenfible  of  this  truth,  which  my  foul  now  fo  much 
dreaded  and  trembled  at  a  icu^to^,  was  the  frame  of 
ibul  that  I  had  been  fo  earnefl;  in  purfuit  of  hereto- 
fore :  For  I  had  ever  hoped,  that  when  I  had  attain- 
ed to  tliat  humiliation,  which  I  fuppofed  neceffary 
to  go  before  faith,  then  it  would  not  be  fair  for  God 
to  caft  me  off;  but  now  I  faw  it  was  fo  far  from  any 
goodnefs  in  me,  to  ov/n  myfelf  fpiritualjy  dead,  and 
dcftitute  of  all  goodnefs,  that  on  the  contrary,  my 
mouth  would  be  forever  flopped  by  it  :  and  it  look- 
ed as  dreadful  to  me,  to  fee  myfclf,  and  the  relation 
I  ftood  in  to  God,  as  a  finncrand  a  criminal,  atid  he 
a  great  judge  and  fovereign,  as  it  would  be  to  a  poor 
trembling  creature,  to  venture  off  Ibmc  high  preci- 
pice.    And  hence  1  put  it  off  for  a  minute  or  two, 

and 


Mr.   DA  VI  D   BR  A  I  NERD.        23 

and  tried  for  better  circumftances  to  do  it  in  ;  either 
I  muft  read  a  pafTage  cr  two,  or  pray  firil,  or  fone- 
thing  of  the  hke  nature  ;  or  elfe  put  off  my  fubmif-  * 
fion  to  God's  fovereignty,  with  an  objection,  that  I 
did  not  know  how  to  fubmit  :  But  the  truth  was,  1 
could  feenofafety  in  owning  mylelf  in  the  hands  of  a 
fovereign  God,  and  that  I  could  lay  no  claim  to  any 
thing  better  than  damnation. 

But  after  a  condderable  time  fpent  in  fuch  likeex- 
crcifes  and  diftrefles,  one  morning,  while  I  was  walk- 
ing in  afoHtary  place  as  ufual,  I  at  once  faw  that  all 
my  contrivances  and  projections  to  effect  or  procure 
deliverance  and  falvation  for  myfelf,  were  utterly  in 
vain  ':  1  was  brought  quite  to  a  ffand,  as  finding  my- 
felf totally  loft.  I  had  thought  many  times  before, 
that  the  difficulties  in  my  way  v/ere  very  great  :  Buc 
now  I  faw,  in  another  and  very  different  light,  that 
it  was  forever  impoiliblc  forme  to  do  any  thing  to- 
wards helping  or  delivering  myfelf.  I  then  thought 
of  blaming  myfelf,  that  I  had  not  done  more,  and 
been  more  engaged,  while  I  had  opportunity  (tor  ic 
feemed  now  as  if  the  fcafon  of  doing  was  forever 
over  and  gone)  but  I  inlfantly  faw,  that  let  me  have 
done  what  I  would,  it  would  no  more  have  tended 
to  my  helping  myfelf,  than  what  I  had  done  ; 
that  I  had  made  all  the  pleas  I  ever  could  have  made 
to  all  eternity  ;  and  that  all  my  pleas  were  vain. 
The  tumult  that  had  been  before  in  my  mind,  was 
now  quieted  ;  and  I  was  fomething  eafcd  of  that 
diitrefs,  which  I  felt  while  ffruggling  againlf  a  light 
of  myfelf,  and  of  the  divine  fovereignty.  I  had  the 
greateft  certainty,  that  my  ftate  was  forever  mifera- 
ble,  tor  all  that  I  could  do  ;  and  wondered^  and  was 
almolt  aitonidicd,  that  I  had  never  been  lenflblc  of  it 
bciore. 

In  ih.e  time  while  I  remained  in  this  ftate,  my  no- 
tions;  r'.'f"  '/ 'n-r   my   duties,    were    quite   different 

B  4  from 


214  TheLIFEof 

from  what  I  had  ever  entertained   in   times   paft, 
Before  this,  the  more  I  did  in   duty,  the   more  I 
thought  God  was  obliged  to  me  ;    or  at  leaft  the 
more  hard  I  thought  it  would  be  for  God  to  caft  me 
off;  though  at  the  fame  time  I  confcfTed,  and  thought 
I  faw,  that  there  was  no  goodnefs  or  merit  in  my 
duties  :  But  now  the  more  I  did  in  prayer  or  any 
>other  duty,  the  more  I  faw  I  was  indebted  to  God 
for  allowing  me  to  alk  for  m.crcy  ;   for  I  iaw,  it  was 
felf  intereft  had  led  me  to  pray,  and  that  I  had  never 
once  prayed  from  any  refpecft  to  the  glory  of  God. 
Now  Ifaw,  there  was  no  nccelTary  conne(ftion  be- 
tween my  prayers  and   the   beftowmient  of  divine 
incrcy  ;  that  they  laid  not  the  lead  obligation  upon 
God  to  beftow  his  grace  upon  me  ;  and  that  there 
was  no  niore  virtue  or  goodnefs  in  them,  than  there 
would  be  in  my  paddling  with  my  hand  in  the  wa- 
ter, (which  was  the  comparifon  I  had  then  in  my 
iP-ind)   and  this  becaufe  they  were  not  performed 
from  any  love   or  regard  to  God.     I  law  that  1  had 
been  heaping  up  my  devotions  before  God,  fading, 
praying,  &c.  pretending,  and  indeed  really  thinking, 
at  feme  times,  that  I  was  aiming  at  the  glory  of  God  ; 
whereas  I  never  once  truly  intended  it,  but  only  my 
own  happincfs.     I  faw,  that,  as  I  had  never  done 
any  thing  for  God,  I  had  no  claim  to  lay  to  any  thing 
from  him,  but  perdition,  on  account  of  my  hypoc- 
rify  and  mockery.     O  how  different  did  my  duties 
now  appear  from  what  they  ufed  to  do  !  1  ufed  to 
charge  them  with  fm  and  imperfection  ;   but  this 
■was  only  on  account  of  the  wanderings  and  vain 
thoughts  attending  them,  and  not  becaufe  I  had  no 
regard  to  God  in  them  ;  for  this  I  thought  I  had  : 
But  when    I  faw   evidently  that    I   had  regard    to 
pothing  but  felf  intereft,  then  they  appeared  vile 
jnockery  of  God,  felf  worlhip,  and  a  continual  courfe 
pf  lies  j   fo  that  I  faw  now,  there  was  fomething 

worfe 


Mr.    DAVID  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.        25 

^vorfe  had  attended  my  duties,  than  barely  a  few 
wanderings,  &c.  for  the  whole  was  nothing  but 
felf  worfhip  and  an  horrid  abufe  of  God. 

I  continued,  as  I  remember,  in  this  ftate  of  mind, 
from  Friday  morning  until  the  Sabbath  evening  fcl- 
jou'ing,  July  13,  1739,  when  I  was  walking  again  in 
the  fame  folitary  place  where  I  was  brought  to  fee 
myfelf  loll:  and   helplefs  (as  was  before  mentioned) 
and  here,  in  a  mournful  melancholy  ftate,  was  at- 
tempting to  pray  ;  but  found  no  heart  to  engage  in 
that,  or  any  other  duty;  my  former  concern,  and  ex- 
trcil'e.  and  religious  affections  were  now  gone.     I 
thought  the   Spirit  of  God  had  quite  left  me  ;  but 
ftill  was  not  diifreffed  :  Yet  difconfolate,  as  if  there 
was    nothing  in  heaven  or  earth    could  make  me 
happy.      And   having  been   thus  endeavouring  to 
pray  (though  being^,  as  I  thought,  very  flupid  and 
ienfelefs)  for  near  half  an  hour,  (and  by  this  time  the 
fun  was  about  half  an  hour  high,  as  I  remember) 
then,  as  I  was  walking  in  a  dark  thick  grove,  un- 
fpeakable  glory  ietrmd  to  open  to  the  viev/  and  ap- 
prehenfion  of  my  foul  :  I  do  not  mcao  any  external 
brightnefs,  for  I  faw  no  fuch  thing;  nor  do  I  intend 
any  imagination  of  a  body  of  light,  fome  where 
away  in  the  third  heavens,  or  any  thing  of  that  na- 
ture ;  but  it  was  a  new  inward  apprehenfion  or  view 
that  I  had  of  God,  fuch  as  I  never  had  before,  nor 
any  thing  which  had  the  leafl:  refemblance  of  it.     I 
flood  ftill,  and  wondered  and  admired  !  I  knevv'  that 
I  never  had  feen  before  any  thing  comparable  to  it 
for  excellency  and  beauty  :  It  was  widely  diflerent 
from  all  the  conceptions  that  ever  1  had  had  of  God, 
or  things  divine.     1  had  no  particular  apprehenfion 
cf  any  one  pcrfon  in  the  Trinity,  either  the  Father, 
the  Son,  or  the  Holy  Ghofl:  j  but  it  appeared  to  be 
divine  gloiy  that  I  then  beheld  :    And  my  foul   re- 
joiced with  joy  unfpeakable,  to  fee  fuch  a  God,  fuch' 

a 


26  T  H  E     L  I  F  E    o  F 

a  glorious  divine  Being  ;  and  I  was  inwardly  pleaf- 
ed  and  fatisfied,  that  he  fhould  be  God  over  all  for- 
ever and  ever.  My  foul  was  fo  captivated  and  de- 
lighted with  the  excellency,  lovelinefs,  greatnefs, 
and  other  perfections  of  God,  that  I  was  even  fwal- 
lowed  up  in  him  ;  at  leaft  to  that  degree,  that  I  had 
no  thought  (as  I  remember)  at  firft,  about  my  own 
falvation,  and  fcarce  rcflecSted  there  was  fuch  a  crea- 
ture as  myfelf. 

Thus  God,  I  truft,  brought  me  to  a  hearty  difpo- 
fition  to  exalt  him,  and  fet  him  on  the  throne,  and 
principally  and  ultimately  to  aim  at  his  honour  and 
glory,  as  King  of  the  Univerfe. 

I  continued  in  this  flate  of  inward  joy  and  peace, 
yet  aftonifhment,  until  near  dark,  without  any  fenli- 
ble  abatement  ;  and  then  began  to  think  and  exam- 
ine what  1  had  feen  ;  and  felt  fweetly  compofed  in 
my  mind  all  the  evening  following  :  I  felt  myfelf  in 
a  new  world,  and  every  thing  about  me  appeared 
with  a  different  afped:  from  what  it  was  wont  to  do. 

At  this  time,  the  way  of  falvation  opened  to  me 
with  fuch  infinite  wifdom,  fuitablenefs  and  excellen- 
cy, that  I  wondered  I  fliould  ever  think  of  any  other 
-way  of  falvation  ;  was  amazed  that  1  had  not  drop- 
ped my  own  contrivances,  and  complied  with  this 
lovely,  blefTed,  and  excellent  way  before.  If  i  could 
have  been  faved  by  my  own  duties,  or  any  other  way 
that  I  had  formerly  contrived,  my  whole  foul  would 
now  have  refufed,  I  wondered  that  all  the  world  did 
not  fee  and  comply  with  this  way  of  falvation,  en- 
tirely by  the  righteoufnefs  of  Chrifl:. 

The  fweet  relifli  of  what  I  then  felt,  continued 
with  me  for  feveral  days,  almoil:  condantly,  in  a 
greater  or  kfs  degree  :  1  could  not  but  fweetly  re- 
joice in  God,  lying  dovv-n  and  rifing  up.  The  next 
Lord*s  Day  I  felt  fomething  of  the  fame  kind ;  though 
iiot  fo  powerful  as  before.     But,  not  long  after,  was 

affain 


Mr.   DAVIDB    RAINERD;        27 

again  involved  in  thick  darknefs,  and  under  great 
diilrels  ;  yet  not  of  the  fame  kind  with  my  diftrefs 
under  convid:ions.  I  was  guilty,  afraid  and  afliam- 
ed  to  come  before  God,  was  exceedingly  preiTcd  with 
a  fenle  of  giiilt  :  But  it  was  not  long  before  i  felt,  I 
truft,  true  repentance  and  joy  in  God. 

About  the  latter  end  of  Augufl,  1  again  fell  under 
great  darknefs  ;  it  feemed  as  if  the  prefence  of  God 
was  c/^a^  gone  forever.  Though  I  was  not  fo  much 
diftreffed  about  my  fpiritual  flate,  as  I  was  at  my  be- 
ing fhut  out  from  God's  prefence,  as  I  then  feniibly 
was.  But  it  pleafed  the  Lord  to  return  gracioufly  to 
me,  not  long  after. 

In  the  beginning  of  September  I  went  to  college*, 
and  entered  there  :  But  with  fomc  degree  of  reluc- 
tancy,  fearing  left  I  fliould  not  be  able  to  lead  a  life 
of  flrid:  religion,  in  the  midft  of  io  many  tempta- 
tions. After  this,  in  the  vacancy,  before  I  went  to 
tarry  at  college,  it  pleafed  God  to  viiit  my  loul  with 
clearer  manifeflations  of  himfelf  and  his  grace.  I 
was  fpcnding  fome  time  in  prayer,  and  felf  examina- 
tion ;  and  the  Lord  by  his  grace  fo  ihined  into  my 
heart,  that  I  enjoyed  full  allurance  of  his  favour  for 
that  time ;  and  my  foul  was  unfpeakably  refrefhed 
with  divine  and  heavenly  enjoyments.  At  this  time 
cfpecially,  as  well  as  fome  others,  fundry  pafTages  of 
God's  word  opened  to  my  foul  with  divine  c]earnefs» 
power  and  fvveetnefs,  fo  as  to  appear  exceeding  pre- 
cious, and  with  clear  and  certain  evidence  of  its  be-, 
ing  the  word  of  God.  I  enjoyed  confiderablc  fweet- 
ncfs  in  religion,  all  the  winter  following. 

In  January,  1739,40,  the  meafles  fpread  much  in 
college  j  and  I  having  taken  the  diAemper,  went 
honic  to  Haddam  :  But  fome  days  before  I  was  tak- 
en lick,  1  fcerned  to  be  greatly  deferted,  and  my  foul 
mourned  tlic  abfence  of  the  Comforter  exceedingly  : 

It 

*  Ysic  College  in  Ncw-Haveu. 


sS  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

It  feemed  to  me,  all  comfort  was  forever  gone  ;  I 
prayed  and  cried  to  God  for  help,  yet  found  no  pref- 
ent  comfort  or  relief.  But  tlirough  divine  goodnefs, 
a  r>ight  or  two  before  I  was  taken  ill,  while  I  was 
walking  alone  in  a  very  retired  place,  and  engaged 
in  meditation  and  prayer,  I  enjoyed  a  fweet  refrelh- 
ing  vifit,  as  I  truft,  from  above,  fo  that  my  foul  was 
raifed  fir  above  the  fears  of  death  ^  indeed  I  rath- 
er longed  for  death,  than  feared  it.  O  how  much 
more  refrefhing  this  one  feafon  was,  than  all  the 
pleafures  and  delights  that  earth  can  afford  !  After 
a  day  or  two  I  was  taken  with  the  meafles,  and  was 
very  ill  indeed,  fo  that  I  almoft  defpaired  of  life  : 
But  had  no  dillreffing  fears  of  death  at  all.  How- 
ever, through  divine  goodnefs  I  foon  recovered  :  Yet, 
by  rcafon  of  hard  and  clofe  fludies,  and  being  much 
€xpofed  on  accoimt  of  my  frefhmanfhip,  I  had  but 
little  time  for  fpiritual  duties  ;  my  foul  often  mourn- 
ed for  want  of  more  time  and  opportunity  to  be  alone 
with  God.  In  the  fpring  and  fummer  following  I 
had  better  advantages  for  retirement,  and  enjoyed 
more  comfort  in  religion  :  Though  indeed  my  am- 
bition in  my  ftudies  greatly  wronged  the  adivity 
and  vigour  of  my  fpiritual  life  :  Yet  this  was  ufual- 
]y  the  cafe  with  me,  that  i/ube  multitude,  of  ?ny  thoughts 
'within  mey  God^s  comforts  principally  delighted  my 
foul'.  Thefe  were  my  greateft  confolations  day  by  day. 
One  day  I  remember  in  particular  (I  think  it  was 
in  June,  1740)  I  walked  to  a  conliderable  diftance 
from  the  college,  in  the  fields  alone  at  noon,  and  in 
prayer  found  fuch  unfpeakable  fvvectnefs  and  de- 
light in  God,  that  I  thought,  if  I  muft  continue  il:i]i 
in  this  evil  world,  I  wanted  always  to  be  there,  to 
behold  God's  glory  :  My  foul  dearly  loved  all  man- 
kind, and  longed  exceedingly  that  they  fhould  en- 
joy what  I  enjoyed.  It  feemed  to  be  a  little  refcm- 
?-]:inrr  of  Heaven. 

On 


Mr.   DAVID    B  R.  A  I  N  E  R  D.        zq 

Oa  Lord's  Day,  July  6,  being  facrament  day,  I 
found  fome  divine  life  and  fpiritual  refrelliment  in 
that  holy  ordinance.  When  I  came  from  the  Lord^s 
table,  I  wondered"  how  my  fellow  ftudents  could 
live  as  I  was  fenlible  moft  did.  Next  Lord's  Day, 
July  13,  I  had  fome  fpecial  iweetnefs  in  religion. 
Again  Lord's  Day,  July  20,  my  foul  was  in  a  fweet 
and  precious  frame. 

Sometime  in  Auguft  foliowins;,  I  became  fo  weak- 
ly and  difordered,  by  too  clofe  application  to  my 
ftudies,  that  I  was  advifed  by  my  tutor,  to  go  home, 
and  difengage  my  mind  from  ftudy,  as  miich  as  I 
could  ;  for  I  was  grown  fo  weak,  tliat  I  began  to 
fpit  blood.  1  took  his  advice,  and  endeavoured  to  lay 
afide  my  ftudies.  But  being  brought  very  low,  I  look- 
ed death  in  the  face  m>ore  fteadfaftly  ;  and  the  Lord 
was  pleafcd  to  give  me  renewed ly  a  fweet  fcnfe  and 
relilli  of  divine  things;  and  particularly  in  OcTtober 
13,  I  found  divine  help  and  confolation  in  the  pre- 
cious duties  of  fecret  prayer  and  feif  examination, 
and  my  foul  took  delight  in  the  bleffed  God  :  So  like- 
wife  on  the  17th  of  Odober. 

Saturday^  OBoher  \%,  in  my  morning  devotions, 
my  foul  was  exceedingly  melted  for,  and  bitterly 
mourned  over  my  exceeding  finfulnefs  and  vilenefs. 
I  never  before  had  felt  fo  pungent  and  deep  a  fenfe 
of  the  odious  nature  of  fin,  as  at  this  time.  My 
foul  was  then  unufually  carried  forth  in  love  to  God, 
and  had  a  lively  fcnfe  of  God's  love  to  me.  And  this 
love  and  hope,  at  that  time,  cad:  out  fear.  Both  m.oni- 
ing  and  evening  I  fpcnt  fome  time  in  felf  examina- 
tion, to  find  the  truth  of  {Trace,  as  alfo  my  fitnefs  to  ap- 
proach to  God  at  his  table  the  next  day  ;  and  through 
infinite  grace,  found  the  Holy  Spirit  influencing 
my  foul  with  love  to  God,  as  a  witnefs  within  myfelf. 

Lord's  Day,  Oclobcr  ig,  in  the  morning  I  felt 
my  foul  hutigerin^  and  thirftivi  r.^tsr  righteouf^irfs. 


30  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

In  the  forenoon  when  I  was  looking  on  the  facfa- 
mental  elements,  and  thinking  that  ^efus  Chrift 
would  foon  he  Jet  forth  crucified  before  me.,  my  foul 
was  filled  with  light  and  love,  fo  that  I  was  almoft 
in  an  ecftafy  ;  my  body  was  fo  vveak,  I  could  fcarce- 
]y  ftand.  1  felt  at  the  fame  time  an  exceeding  ten- 
demefs  and  moft  fervent  love  towards  all  mankind  ; 
fo  that  my  foul  and  all  the  powers  of  it  fcemed,  as  it 
were,  to  melt  into  foftnefs  and  fweetnefs.  But  in 
the  feafon  of  the  communion  there  was  fome  abate- 
ment of  this  fwcet  life  and  fervour.  This  love  and  joy 
caftout  fear;  and  my  foul  longed  forperfc(^t  grace  and 
glory.  This  fweet  Iram.e  continued  until  the  evening, 
when  my  foul  was  Iweetly  fpiritual  in  fecret  duties, 

Monday,  OBober  20,  1  again  found  the  fweet  af* 
fiftance  of  the  Holy  Spirit  in  fecret  duties,  both 
morning  and  evening,  and  life  and  comfort  in  relig- 
ion through  the  whole  day. 

Tuefday,  OBober  2i,  1  had  likewife  experience 
of  the  goodnefs  of  God  mfhedding  abroad  his  love  in 
fny  heart,  and  giving  me  delight  and  confolation  in 
religious  duties.  And  all  the  remaining  part  of  the 
week,  my  foul  feemed  to  be  taken  up  with  divine 
things.  I  now  fo  longed  after  God,  and  to  be  freed 
from  fin,  that  when  I  felt  myfelf  recovering,  and 
thought  I  mull:  return  to  college  again,  which  had 
proved  fo  hurtful  to  my  fpiritual  interefl  the  year 
paft,  I  couid  not  but  be  grieved,  and  I  thought  I  had 
much  rather  have  died  ;  for  it  diftrelfed  me  to  think 
of  getting  away  from  God.  But  before  I  went,  I 
enjoyed  feveral  other  fweet  and  precious  fealons  of 
communion  with  God,  (particularly  Odober  30,  and 
November  4,)  wherein  my  foul  enjoyed  unfpeakable 
comfort. 

I  returned  to  college  about  November  6,  and 
through  the  goodnefs  of  God  felt  the  power  of  relig- 
ion almoft  daily,  for  the  fpace  of  fix  weeks. 

November 


Mr.   DAVID    B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.        31 

November  28,  in  my  evening  devotion,  I  enjoy- 
ed precious  difcoveries  of  God,  and  was  unfpeaka- 
bly  rcfrefbed  with  that  pafTage,  Heb.  xii.  22,  23,24. 
That  my  foul  longed  to  iving  away  for  the  paradife 
of  God  ;  I  longed  to  be  conformed  to  God  in  all 
things.  A  day  or  two  after,  I  enjoyed  much  of  the 
light  ofGod^s  countenance^  moft  of  the  day  ;  and  my 
foul  refled  in  God. 

Tuefday\  December  9,  I  was  in  a  comfortable 
frame  of  foul  mod  of  the  day  j  but  efpecially  in 
evening  devotions,  when  God  was  pleafed  wonder- 
fully to  affifl:  and  ftrengthen  me  ;  fo  that  I  thought 
nothing  fhould  ever  move  me  from  the  love  of  God 
in  Chrifl  Jefus  my  Lord.  O!  one  hour  ivith  God 
infinitely  exceeds  all  the  plealures  and  delights  of 
this  lower  world. 

Sometime  towards  the  latter  end  of  January, 
1740,1,  I  grew  more  cold  and  dull  in  matters  of  re- 
ligion, by  means  of  my  old  temptation,  viz.  ambi- 
tion in  my  0:udies.  But  through  divine  goodnefs,  a 
great  and  general  awakening  fpread  itfelf  over  the 
college,  about  the  latter  end  of  February,  in  which 
I  was  much  quickened,  and  more  abundantl}'- engag- 
ed in  religion. 

[This  awakening  here  fpoken  of,  was  at  the  be- 
ginning of  that  extraordinary  religious  commotion 
through  the  land,  which  is  frefli  in  every  one's  mem- 
ory. This  awakening  was  for  a  time  very  great  and 
general  at  New- Haven  ;  and  the  college  had  no 
fmall  iliare  in  it  :  That  fociety  was  greatly  reform- 
ed, the  ftudents  in  general  became  ferious,  and  ma- 
ny of  them  remarkably  fo,  and  much  engaged  in 
the  concerns  of  their  eternal  falvation.  And  how- 
everundefirablethcitTucof  theawakeningsof  thatday 
have  appeared  in  m.any  others,  there  have  been  man- 
jfeHly  happy  and  abiding  effects  of  the  imprefiions 
then  made  on  the  minds  of  many  of  the  members  of 

that 


32  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  r 

that  college.  And  by  all  that  I  can  learn  concerning 
Mr.  Brainerd,  there  can  be  no  reafon  to  doubt  but 
that  he  had  nuich  of  God*s  gracious  prefence,  and 
of  the  lively  actings  of  true  grace,  at  that  tirnc  :  But 
yet  he  was  afterwards  abundantly  fenftble,  that  his 
rehgious  experiences  and  afFed:ionsat  that  time  were 
not  tree  from  a  corrupt  mixture,  nor  his  conduct  to 
be  acquitted  from  many  things  that  vyerp  imprudent 
and  blamable  ;  which  he  greatly  lamented  himlelf, 
and  was  willing  that  others  lliould  forget,  that  none 
might  make  an  ill  improvement  of  fuch  an  example. 
And  therefore,  although  in  the  time  of  it,  he  kept  a 
conflant  Diary,  containing  a  very  particular  account 
of  what  paffed  from  day  to  day,  for  the  next  thirteen 
months,  from  the  latter  end  of  January,  1740,1, 
forementioned,  in  two  Imall  books,  which  he  called 
the  two  firfi:  volumes  of  his  Diary,  next  following 
the  account  before  given  of  his  convictions,  conver- 
lion,  and  confequent  comforts  ;  yet,  when  he  lay  on 
his  death  bed,  he  gave  order  (unknown  to  me,  until 
after  his  death)  that  thefe  two  volumes  Ihould  bede- 
ftroyed,  and  in  the  beginning  of  the  third  book  of 
his  Diary,  he  wrote  thus,  (by  the  hand  of  another, 
he  not  being  able  to  write  himfelf) — "  The  two  pre- 
ceding volumes,  immediately  following  the  account 
of  the  author's  converfion,  are  loll,  if  any  are  de- 
iirous  to  knov/  how  the  author  lived  in  general, 
during  that  fpace  of  time,  let  them  read  the  firlf  thir- 
ty pages  of  this  volume  ;  where  they  will  find  fome- 
thing  of  a  fpecimen  of  his  ordinary  manner  of  liv- 
ing, through  that  whole  fpace  of  time,  which  was 
about  thirteen  months  ;  excepting  that  here  he  was 
more  refined  from  fome  imprudencies  and  indecent 
heats,  than  there  ;  but  the  ipirit  of  devotion  running 
through  the  whole,  was  the  fame." 

Jt  could  not  be  othervvife  than  that  one  whofe 
heart  had  been  fo  prepared  and  drawn  to  God,  as 

Mr, 


M  R.   D  A  V  I  D   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.        33 

• 
Mr.  Brainerd^s  had  been,  fliould  be  mightily  enlarg- 
ed, animated  and  engaged,  nt  the  fight  of  fuch  aa 
alteration  made  in  the  college,  the  town  and  land, 
and  To  great  an  appearance  of  men*s  reforming  ("heir 
lives,  and  turning  from  their  profanenefs  and  immo- 
rality, to  ferioufnefs  and  concern  for  their  falvation, 
and  of  religion's  reviving  and  floitrifliing  almoft  ev- 
ery where.  But  as  an  iritemperate  imprudent  zeal, 
and  a  degree  of  enthufiafm  loon  crept  in,  and  min- 
gled itfelf  with  that  revival  of  religion  ;  and  fo  great 
and  general  an  awakening  being  quite  a  new  thing 
in  the  land,  at  lead  as  to  all  the  living  inhabitants 
of  it ;  neither  people  nor  miniftershad  learned  thor- 
oughly to  diftinguifh  between  folid  religion  and  its 
deluiive  counterfeits  ;  even  .many  minil-liers  of  the 
gofpel,  of  long  Handing  and  the  bed  reputation^ 
were  for  a  time  overpowered  with  the  glaring  ap- 
pearances of  the  latter  :  And  therefore  iurely  it  was 
not  to  be  wondered  at,  that  young  Brainerd,  but  a 
fophimore  at  college,  fiiould  be  To  ;  who  was  not 
only  young  in  years,  but  very  young  in  religion  and 
experience,  and  had  had  but  little  opportunity  for 
the  ftudy  of  divinity,  and  ftill  lefs  for  obfcrvation  of 
the  circumftances  and  events  of  fuch  an  extraordinary 
ftatc  of  things  ;  A  man  miufl  diveR  himfelf  of  all 
reafon,  to  make  ftrange  of  it.  In  thefe  difadvanta- 
geous  circumftances,  Brainerd  had  the  unhappinefs 
to  have  a  tind:ure  of  that  intemperate  indifcrcet  zenl, 
which  was  at  that  time  too  prevalent  ;  and  Vv-as  led', 
from  his  high  opinion  of  others  that  he  looked  upon, 
better  than  himfelf,  into  fuch  errors  as  were  really 
contrary  to  the  habitual  temper  of  his  mind.  Ond 
inftance  of  his  niifcondudt  at  that  time,  gave  great 
ofFence  to  the  rulers  of  tlie  college,  even  to  that  de- 
gree that  they  cxpeHcd  him  the  fociety  ;  which  it  is 
neccffary  fnould'liere  be  particularly  related,  v/ith  its 
circumffances. 

C  in 


34  TheLIFEqf 

In  the  time  of  the  awakening  at  college,  there 
were  feveral  reUgious  fludents  that  aflbciated  them- 
felves  one  with  another  for  mutual  converfation  and 
afliflance  in  fpiritual  things,  who  were  wont  freely 
to  open  themfelves  one  to  another,  as  fpecial  and  in- 
timate friends.  Brainerd  was  one  of  this  company. 
And  it  once  happened,  that  he  and  two  or  three 
more  of  thefe  his  intimate  friends  were  in  the  hall 
together,  after  Mr.  Whittelfey,  one  of  the  tutors, 
had  been  to  prayer  there  with  the  fcholars  ;  no  oth- 
er perfon  now  remaining  in  the  hall,  but  Brainerd 
•and  thefe  his  companions.  Mr.  Whittelfey  having 
been  unufually  pathetical  in  his  prayer,  one  of  Brai- 
nerd's  friends  on  this  occafion  afked  him  what  he 
thought  of  Mr.  Whittelfey  ;  he  made  anfwer,  "  He 
has  no  more  grace,than  this  chair."  One  of  the  frefh- 
men  happening  at  that  time  to  be  near  the  hall 
(though  not  in  the  room)  overheard  thofe  words  of 
his  ;  though  he  heard  no  name  mentioned,  and  knew 
not  who  the  perfon  was,  which  was  thus  cenfured. 
He  informed  a  certain  woman  that  belonged  to  the 
town,  withal  telling  her  his  own  fufpicion,  viz.  that 
he  believed  Brainerd  faid  this  of  fome  one  or  other 
of  the  rulers  of  the  college.  W^hereupon  flic  went 
and  informed  the  redbor,  who  fcnt  for  this  frefliman 
and  examined  him  ;  and  he  told  the  redtor  the 
words  that  he  heard  Brainerd  utter,  and  informed 
him  who  were  in  the  room  with  him  at  that  time. 
Upon  which  the  redtor  fent  for  them  :  They  were 
very  backward  to  inform  againft  their  friend,  of  that 
which  they  looked  upon  as  private  converfation,  and 
efpecially  as  none  but  they  had  heard  or  knew  of 
whom  he  had  uttered  thofe  words  j  yet  the  rc(5]:or 
compelled  them  to  declare  what  he  faid,  and  of  whom 
he  faid  it.  Brainerd  looked  on  himfelf  greatly  abuf- 
ed  in  the  management  of  this  affair ;  and  thought, 
that  what  he  faid  in  private,  was  injurioufly  extort- 


Mr.  DAVID   BRAINERD.        3^ 

ed  from  his  friends,  and  that  then  it  was  injurioufly 
required  of  him  (as  it  was  wont  to  be  of  fuch  as  had 
been  guilty  of  fome  open  notorious  crime)  to  make 
a  pubh'ck  confeflion,  and  to  humble  himfelf  before 
the  whole  college  in  the  hall,  for  what  he  had  faid 
only  in  private  converfation.  He  not  complying 
with  this  demand,  and  having  gone  once  to  the  fep- 
arate  meeting  at  New-Haven,  when  forbidden  by 
the  redlor,  arid  alfo  having  been  accufed  by  one  per- 
fon  of  faying  concerning  the  red:or,  that  he  wonder- 
ed he  did  not  exped:  to  drop  down  dead  for  fining 
the  fcholars  who  followed  Mr.  Tennent  to  Milford, 
though  there  was  no  proof  of  it  (and  Mr.  Brainerd 
ever  profelTed  that  he  did  not  remember  his  faying 
any  thing  to  that  purpofe)  for  thefe  things  he  was 
expelled  the  college. 

Now,  how  far  the  circumftances  and  exigences  of 
that  day  might  juftify  fuch  great  feverity  in  the  gov- 
ernours  of  the  college,  I  will  not  undertake  to  deter- 
mine j  it  being  my  aim,  not  to  bring  reproach  on 
the  authority  of  the  college,  but  only  to  do  juflice  to 
the  memory  of  a  perfon  who  I  think  to  be  eminent- 
ly one  of  thofe  whole  memory  is  blejfcd.  The  reader 
will  fee,  in  the  fequel  of  the  flory  of  Mr.  Brainerd's 
life,*  what  his  own  thoughts  afterwards  were  of  his 
behaviour  in  thefe  things,  and  in  how  chriitian  a 
manner  he  conducted  himfelf,  with  refpe(5t  to  this 
affair  \  though  he  ever,  as  long  as  he  lived,  fuppof- 
ed  himfelf  much  abufed  in  the  management  of  it, 
and  in  what  he  fufFered  in  it* 

His  expulfion  was  in  the  winter  anno  I74i,a> 
while  he  was  in  his  third  year  in  college.] 

*  Panicularly  under  the  date,  iVcdne/day,  September  14,  1743. 


C%  PART 


36  T  H  E  .  L  I  F  E    o  F 


PART         II, 

From  about  the  time  that  he  jir ft  began  to  devoie  bi/nfelf 

•  mdre  efpecial!}'  to  the  Study  0/'  Divinity,  until 

he  'was  '  exam'iiie'd'and  licenfed  to  preachy  by  the  As- 

s  o  c  I A  T I  b  N  0/'  M I N I  s  T  E  R  s  belonging,  to  the  eajlern 

diftri^  of  the  caunty  ofF airfield  in  Connecticut, 

[TV  yjR.  Brainerd,  the  fpring  after  his  cxpulfion, 
IVl  went  to  live  with  the  Rev.  Mr.  Mills  of  Rip- 
ton,  to  follow  his  iludies  with  him,  in  order  to  his 
being  fitted  for  the  work  of  the  miniftry  ;  where 
lie  fpent  the  greater  part  of  the  time  until  the  af- 
fociation  licenfed  him  to  preach  ;  but  frequently 
rode  to  vifit  the  neighbouring  minifters,  particu- 
larly Mr.  Cooke  of  Stratfield,  Mr.  Graham  of  South- 
biiry,  and  Mr.  Bellamy  of  Bethlehem. 

Here  (at  Mr.  Mills's)  he  began  the  third  book  of 
his  Diary,  in  which  thec^ccount  he  wrote  of  him fclf, 
is  as  follows.] 

Thurjday,  April  i^  1742. — I  feem  to  be  declining 
with  refpecl;  to  my  life  and  warmth  in  divine  things  : 
Had  not  {o  free  accefs  to  God  in  prayer  as  ufuai  of 
late.  O  tliat  God  would  humble  me  deeply  in  the 
dull:  before  hirn.  I  delerve  hell  every  day,  for  not 
loving  my  Lord  more,  u^ho  has  (\  Kn\k)  lo-ved me 
and  given  himfclf  for  ?7ie  ;  and  every  time  I  am  ena- 
bled to  exercife  any/grace  renewedly,  I  am  renewed- 
ly  indebted  to  the  God  of  all  grace  for  fpecial  aflift- 
ance.  Where  then  is  boafing  ?  Surely  it  is  excluded , 
when  we  think  how  we  are  dependent  on  God  for 
the  being  and  every  ad:  of  grace.  O  if  ever  1  get 
to  heaven,  it  will  be  becaufe  God  will,  and  nothing 
elf  c;  for  1  ver  did  any  thing  of  myfelf,  but  get 

away 


Mr.   DAVID   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.        37 

away  from  God  !  My  foul  will  be  aftonidied  at  the 
unfearchable  riches  of  divine  grace,  when  I  arriveiat 
the  manfions  which  the  bleffed  Saviour  is  gone  be- 
fore to  prepare. 

Friday,  April  2. — In  the  afternoohl  felt  fomething 
fweetly  in  fecret  prayer,  much  refigned,  calm  and 
fcrcne.  What  are  all  the  ftorms  of  this  lower  world, 
if  Jefus  by  his  Spirit  does  but  come  walking  upon  the 
feas  !  Some  time  paft  I  had  much  pleafure  in  the 
profpcft  of  the  heathen's  being  brought  home  to 
Chrifl,  and  defircd  that  the  Lord  would  improve  me 
in  that  work  :  But  now  my  foul  more  frequentl5r 
defires  to  die,  to  be  with  Chriji.  O  that  my  foul 
were  wrapt  up  in  divine  love,  and  my  longing  de- 
fires  after  God  increafed.  In  the  evening,  was  re- 
frefhed  in  prayer,  with  the  hopes  of  the  advance- 
ment of  Chrift's  kingdom  in  the  world. 

Saturday,  April  3. — Was  very  much  amifs  thii; 
morning,  and  had  an  ill  night  lad  night.  I  thought, 
if  God  would  take  me  to  himfelf  now,  my  foul 
would  exceedingly  rejoice.  O  that  I  may  bealwa^'-s 
humble  and  refigned  to  God,  and  that  God  would 
caufe  my  foul  to  be  m-ore  fixed  on  himfelf,  that  I  may- 
be more  fitted  both  for  doing  and  fuffering. 

Lord's  Day,  April ^. — My  heart  was  wandering 
and  lifelefs.  In  the  evening  God  gave  me  faith  in 
prayer,  and  made  m.y  foul  melt  in  fome  meafiire,  and 
gave  me  to  tafte  a  divine  fweetnefs.  O  my  blefTcd 
God  !  Let  me  climb  Up  near  to  him,  and  love,  and 
long,  and  plead,  and  wreftle,  and  reach,  and  ftretch 
alter  him,  and  ior  deliverance  from  the  body  of  Jin  and 
death.  Alas,  my  foul  mourned  to  think  1  Ihould 
ever  lofe  fight  of  its  beloved  again  \  O  come  Lord 
^efus  !   Amen. 

[On  the  evening  of  the  next  day,  he  complains 
that  he  feemed  to  be  void  of  all  relilh  of  divine  things, 
felt  much  of  the  prevalence  of  corruption,  and  faw 
C3  ill 


3?  TheLIFEof 

in  himfelf  a  difpofition  to  all  manner  of  lin  ;  which 
brought  a  very  great  gloom  on  his  mind,  and  caft 
him  down  into  the  depths  of  melancholy  ;  fo  that 
he  fpeaks  of  himfelf,  as  aftonifhed,  amazed,  having 
no  comfort,  being  filled  with  horror,  feeing  no  com- 
fort in  heaven  or  earth,] 

Tuefday^  April  6. — I  walked  out  this  morning  to 
the  fame  place  where  I  was  laft  night,  and  felt  fome- 
thing  as  I  did  then  j  but  was  fomething  relieved  by 
reading  fome  pallages  in  my  Diary,  and  feemed  to 
feel  as  if  I  might  pray  to  the  great  God  again  with 
freedom ;  but  was  fuddenly  ftruck  with  a  damp, 
from  the  fenfe  I  had  of  my  own  vilenefs.  Then  I 
cried  to  God  to  wafh  my  foul  and  cleanfe  me  from 
my  exceeding  filthinefs,  to  give  me  repentance  and 
pardon  j  and  it  began  to  be  fomething  fvveet  to  pray  ; 
And  I  could  think  of  undergoing  the  greatefl  fuffer- 
ings  in  the  caufe  of  Chrifl,  with  pleafure  ;  and  found 
myfelf  willing  (if  God  fhould  fo  order  it]  to  fuffer 
banifhment  from  my  native  land,  among  the  hea- 
then, that  I  might  do  fomething  for  their  fouls*  lalva- 
tion,  in  diflireffes  and  deaths  of  any  kind.  Then 
God  gave  me  to  vvreftle  earneftly  for  others,  for  the 
kingdom  of  Chrifl:  in  the  world,  and  for  dear  chril- 
tian  friends.  I  felt  weaned  from  the  world  and  from 
my  own  reputation  amongfl  men,  willing  to  be  def- 
pifed,  and  to  be  a  gazing  flock  for  the  world 
to  behold.  It  is  impoflible  for  me  to  exprefs  how 
I  then  felt  :  I  had  not  much  joy,  but  fome  fenfe  of 
the  majefty  of  God,  which  made  me  as  it  were  trem- 
ble. I  faw  myfelf  mean  and  vile,  which  made  me 
more  willing  that  God  fhould  do  what  he  would 
with  me  ;  it  was  all  infinitely  reafonable, 

Thurfday,  April  8. — Had  raifed  hopes  to  day  ref- 
pediing  the  heathen.  O  that  God  would  bring  in 
great  numbers  of  them  to  Jcfus  Chrifl.  I  cannot  but 
Hppe  I  fhall  fee  that  glorious  day.     Every  thing  in 

this 


Mr.   DAVID   BR  A  IN  ERD.        39 

this  world  feems  exceeding  vile  and  little  to  me  :  I 
look  fo  to  myfelf.  I  had  I'ome  little  dawn  of  com- 
fort to  day  in  prayer :  But  efpecially  to  night  I  think 
I  had  fome  faith  and  power  of  interceffion  with  God, 
was  enabled  to  plead  with  God  for  the  growth  of 
grace  in  myfelf ;  and  many  of  the  dear  children  of 
God  then  lay  with  weight  upon  my  foul.  Blelfed  be 
the  Lord.  It  is  good  to  wreflle  for  divine  bleflings. 
Friday  y  April  9. — Moft  of  my  time  in  morning  de- 
votion was  fpent  without  fenfible  fweetnefs  ;  yet  I 
had  one  delightful  profpecSt  of  arriving  at  the  heav- 
enly world.  I  am  more  amazed  than  ever  at  fuch 
thoughts  ;  fori  fee  myfelf  infinitely  vile  and  unwor- 
thy. I  feel  very  heartlefs  and  dull  ;  and  though  I 
long  for  the  pre  fence  of  God,  and  feem  conftantly 
to  reach  towards  God  in  defires,  yet  I  cannot  feel 
that  divine  and  heavenly  fweetnefs  that  I  ufed  to  en- 
joy. No  poor  creature  ftands  in  need  of  divine  grace 
more  than  I,  and  none  abuie  it  more  than  I  have 
done,  and  ftill  do. 

Saturday y  April  lO. — Spent   much  time  in  fccret 
prayer  this  morning,  and  not  without  fome  comfort 
in  divine  things,  and  I  hope  had  fome  faith  in  exer- 
cife  :  But  am  fo  low,  and  feel  fo  little  of  the  fenfible 
prefcnce  of  God,  that  1  hardly  know  what  to  call 
faith,  and  am  \n2idQ.io pojfefs the Jins of  ?r,y youth,  and 
tile  dreadful  fin  of  my  nature,  and  am  all  fin  ;  I  can- 
not think,  nor  ad:,  but  every  motion  is  fin.     I  feel 
iome  faint  hopes,  that  God  will,  of  his  infinite  mer- 
cy, return  again  with  fhowers  of  converting  grace  to 
poor  gofpel  abufing  finners  ;  and  my  hopes  of  being 
improved  in  the  caufe  of  God,  Vvhich  of  late  have 
been  almoft  extindt,  feem  now  a  little  revived.     O 
that  all  my  late  diftrelfes  and  awful  apprehenfions 
might  prove  but  Chrift's  fchool,  to  make  me  fit  for 
greater  fcrvice-,  by  learning  me  the  great  leffon  of 
humihty. 

C4  Lord's 


40  TheLIFEof 

Lord's  Day,  April  1 1 . — In  themomin^,  felt  but  lit- 
tle life,  excepting  that  my  heart  was  foniething 
drawn  out  in  thankfiilnefs  to  God,  for  his  amazing 
grace  and  condefcenlion  to  me  in  paft  influences  and 
alliftances  of  his  Spirit,  Afterwards  had  fome  fwcet* 
nefs  in  the  thoughts  of  arriving  at  the  heavenly 
■world.  O  for  the  happy  day  !.  After  pubiick  wor- 
Ihip  God  gave  me  fpecial  alliftance  in  prayer;! 
wreflled  with  my  dear  Lord,  with  much  Iweetnels  % 
and  interceiTion  was  made  a  fweet  and  delightful  em- 
ployment to  me.  In  the  evening,  as  I  was  view-, 
ing  the  light  in  the  north,  was  delighted  in  con- 
templation on  the  glorious  morning  of  the  refurrec- 
tion.  ^ 

Monday,  April  ii. — This  morning  the  Lord  was 
pleafed  to  lift  up  the  light  of  his  countenance  upon  me 
in  fecret  prayer,  and  made  the  feafon  very  precious 
to  my  foul.  And  though  I  have  been  fo  depreffed 
of  late,  refpeding  my  hopes  of  future  lerviceablenefs 
in  the  caule  of  God  ;  yet  now  I  had  much  encour^ 
agement  refpedting  that  matter.  I  was  fpecially 
alTilkd  to  intercede  and  plead  for  poor  fouls,  and  for 
the  enlargement  of  Chnft's  kingdom  in  the  world, 
and  for  fpecial  grace  for  myfelf,  to  fit  me  tor  fpecial 
fervices,  I  felt  exceeding  calm,  and  quite  religned 
to  God,  refpe€ling  my  future  improvement,  when, 
and  where  he  pleafed  :  My  faith  lifed  me  above  the 
world,  and  removed  all  thofe  mountains,  that  I 
could  not  look  over  of  late  :  I  thought  I  wanted  not 
the  favour  ofman  to  lean  upon  j  for  I  knew  Chriirsfa.. 
vour  was  infinitely  better,  and  that  it  was  nomatter 
when,  nor  where,  nor  how  Chrift  fhould  fend  me,  nor 
what  trials  helliould  flillexercife  mcwith,if  ]  might 
be  prepared  for  his  work  and  v/ill.  inow  found  fweet- 
]y  revived  in  my  mind  the  wonderful  difcovery  of 
infinite  wifdom  in  all  the  dilpenfations  of  God  to- 
wards me,  which  1  had  a  little  before  I  met  with  my 

great 


Mr.  DAVID  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.        41 

great  trial  at  college  :  Every  thing  appeared  full  of 
the  wifdom  of  God. 

•Tuefdavy  April  13. — Saw  myfelf  to  he  very  mean 
and  vile  ;  wondered  at  thofe  that  (hewed  mc  reCpect. 
Afterwards  was  fomething  comforted  in  fecret  re- 
tirement, and  was  aififted  to  wreftle  with  God,  with 
iome  power,  fpirituality  and  fweetnefs.  Bleifed  he 
the  Lord,  he  is  never  unmindful  of  me,  but  always 
fends  me  needed  fupplies,  and,  from  time  to  time, 
when  I  am  like  one  dead,  raiies  me  to  life.  O  that 
i  may  never  diilruO:  infinite  goodnefs. 

Wednefdayy  April i^. — My  foul  longed  for  commu- 
nion with  Chfift,  and  for  the  mortification  of  in- 
dwelling corruption,  efpecially  fpiritual  pride.  O 
there  is  a  fweet  day  coming,  wherein  the  weajy  will 
be  at  reft.  My  ioul  has  enjoyed  much  fweetnefs  this 
day  in  hopes  of  its  fpeedy  arrival. 

Thurfday,  April  1 5 . — My  defires  apparently  center- 
ed in  God,  and  I  found  a  fenfible  attradiion  of  foul 
after  him,  fundry  times  to  day  :  I  know  I  long  for 
God,  and  a  conformity  to  his  will,  in  inward  purity 
and  holinefs,  ten  thoufaud  times  more  than  for  any 
thing  here  below. 

Friday  and  Saturday ,  April  \6  .x'^ . — Seldom  prayed 
without  lome  lenlible  fweetnefs  and  joy  in  the  Lord. 
Sometimes  I  longed  much  to  bedijfohedafidto  be  with 
Cbrift.  O  that  God  would  enable  me  to  gro^jD  in 
grace  every  day.  Alas  !  my  barrennefs  is  fuch,  that 
God  might  well  fay.  Cut  it  down.  I  am  afraid  ot  a 
dead  heart  on  the  Sabbath  now  begun  :  O  that  God 
would  quicken  me  by  his  grace. 

hordes  Uay'y  April  1 8. — Retired  early  this  morn- 
ing into  the  woods  for  prayer  ;  had  the  afliftance  of 
God's  Spirit,  and  faith  m  exercife,  and  was  enabled 
to  plead  with  fervency  for  the  advancement  of 
Chrift^s  kingdom  in  the  world,  and  to  intercede  for 
dear  abfent  friends.     At  noon,  God  enabled  mc  to 

v»' re  flic 


4«  TheLIFEof 

wreftle  with  him,  and  feel  (as  I  truft)  the  power  of 
divine  love  in  prayer.  At  night,  faw  myfelf  infi- 
nitely indebted  to  God,  and  had  a  view  ot  my  Ihort 
commgs  :  It  leemed  to  me,  that  I  had  done  as  it 
were  nothing  for  God,  and  that  I  never  had  lived  to 
him  but  a  few  hours  of  my  life. 

Monday^  April  19. — I  fet  apart  this  day  for  fading 
and  prayer  to  God   for  his  grace,  efpecially  to  pre- 
pare me  for  the  work  of  the  miniftry,  to  give  me  di- 
vine aid  and  direction  in  my  preparations  for  that 
great  work,  and  in  his  own  time  iofcnd  me  into  his 
harveji.     Accordingly,  in  the  morning,  endeavoured 
to  plead  for  the  divine  prefence  for  the  day,  and  not 
without  fome  life.     In  the  forenoon,  I  felt  a  pow- 
er of  interceflion  for  precious  immortal  fouls,  for  the 
advancement  of  the  kingdom  of  my  dear  Lord  and 
Saviour  in  the  world  ;  and  withal,  a  moft  fweet  re- 
iignation,   and  even    confolation   and  joy    in   the 
thoughts  of  fufFering  hardfliips,  diftrelTes,  and  even 
death  itfelf,  in  the  promotion  of  it ;  and  had  fpecial 
enlargement  in  pleading  for  the  enlightening  and 
converfion  of  the  poor  heathen.     In  the  afternoon, 
God  was  with  me  of  a  truth.   O  it  was  blefled  compa- 
ny indeed  !  God  enabled  me  fo  to  agonize  in  prayer, 
that  I  was  quite  wet  with  fweat,  though  in  the  fliade, 
and  the  wind  cool.     My  foul  was  drawn  out  very 
much  from  the  world  ;  I  grafped  for  multitudes  of 
fouls.     I  think  I  had  more  enlargement  for  finners, 
than  for  the  children  of  God  ;  though  I  felt  as  if  I 
could  fpend  my  life  in  cries  for  both.     1  enjoyed 
great  fweetnefs  in  communion  with  my  dear  Saviour. 
I  think  I  never  in  my  life  felt  fuch  an  entire  wcan- 
edncfs  from  this  world,  and  fo  much  resigned  to 
God  in  every  thing.     O  that  I  may  always  live  to 
and  upon  my  bleiTcd  God.     Amen,  Amen. 

Tuefdciy^  April  20. — This  day  I  am  twenty   four 
years  of  age.  O  how  much  mercy  have  I  received  the 

year 


Mr.   DAVID   BRAINERD.        43 

year  pail  !  How  often  has  God  caufed  his  goodnefs  to 
pafs  before  me  1  And  how  poorly  have  I  aniwered  the 
vows  1  made  this  time  twelve  months,  to  be  wholly 
the  Lord's,  to  be  forever  devoted  to  his  fervice  ! 
The  Lord  help  me  to  live  more  to  his  glory  for  time 
to  come.  This  has  been  a  fweet,  a  happy  day  to 
me  :  Blefled  be  God.  1  think  my  foul  was  never 
fo  drawn  out  in  interceffion  for  others,  as  it  has  been 
this  night.  Had  a  moll:  fervent  wreftle  with  the 
Lord  to  night  for  my  enemies  ;  and  I  hardly  ever  fo 
longed  to  live  to  God,  and  to  be  altogether  devoted 
to  him  j  I  wanted  to  wear  out  my  life  in  his  fervice 
and  for  his  glory. 

Wednefday,  April Zi, — Felt  much  calmnefs  and  re- 
fignation,  and  God  again  enabled  me  to  wreftle  for 
numbers  of  fouls,  and  had  much  fervency  in  the 
fweet  duty  of  interceffion.  I  enjoy  of  late  m.ore 
fweetnels  in  interceffion  for  others,  than  in  any  other 
part  of  prayer.  My  blefled  Lord  really  let  me  cG?ns 
near  to  him^  and  plead  with  him. 

[The  frame  of  mind,  and  excrcifes  of  foul,  tliat 
he  expreffes  the  three  days  next  following,  Thurf- 
day,  Friday,  and  Saturday,  are  much  of  the  fame 
kind  with  thofe  exprefled  the  two  days  paft.] 

Lord's  Day,  April 2 ^.-*-This  morning  fpent  about 
two  hours  in  fecret  duties,  and  was  enabled  more 
than  ordinarily  to  agonize  for  immortal  fouls  ; 
though  it  was  early  in  the  morning,  and  the  fun 
fcarcely  fhined  at  all,  yet  my  body  was  quite  wet 
with  fweat.  Felt  much  prdfed  now,  as  frequently 
of  late,  to  plead  for  the  meeknefs  and  calmnefs  of  the 
Lamb  of  God  in  my  foul  ;  Through  divine  goodnefs 
felt  much  of  it  this  morning,  O  it  is  a  fweet  difpo- 
iition,  heartily  to  forgive  all  injuries  done  to  us  ;  to 
wifh  our  qjreateft  enemies  as  well  as  we  do  our  own 
fouls  I  BlelTcd  Jefus,  may  I  daily  be  more  and  more 
conformed  to  thcc.  At  night  was  exceedingly  melrcd 

With 


I 


44  TheLIFEop 

with  divine  love,  and  had  fome  feeling  fenfe  of  the 
blelTednefs  of  the  upper  vt'orld.  Thofe  words  hung 
upon  me,  with  much  divine  fweetnefs,  P/al.  Ixxxiv.  i 
7.  ney  go  from  Jirength  tojhength,  every  one  of  them  I 
/;?  Zion  appeareth  bejoreGod.  Othe  nearaccefs  that  " 
God  fometimes  gives  us  in  our  addreffes  to  him  ! 
This  may  well  be  termed  appearing  before  God :  It  is 
fo  indeed  in  the  truefpiritual  fenfe,  and  in  the  fweet- 
eft  fenfe.  1  think  I  have  not  had  fuch  power  of  in- 
terceffion,  thefe  many  months,  both  for  God*s  chil- 
dren, and  for  dead  finners,  as  I  have  had  this  even- 
ing. I  wifhed  and  longed  for  the  coming  of  my  dear 
Lord:  I  longed  to  join  theangelick  hofts  in  prail'es, 
wholly  free  from  imperfecftion.  O  the  blcflTed  .mo- 
ment haftens  !  All  I  want  is  to  be  more  holy,  more 
like  my  dear  Lord.  O  for  fandlificaticn  !  My  very 
foul  pants  for  the  complete  reftoration  of  the  bleffed 
image  of  my  fweet  Saviour  ;  that  1  may  be  fit  for 
the  bleffed  enjoyments  and  employments  of  the 
heavenly  world. 

Farewell,  vain  world  ;  my  fou!  can  bid  adieu  : 
My  Saviour  's  taught  me  to  abandon  you. 
Your  charms  may  gratify  a  fenfual  miad  ; 
Not  pleafe  a  foul  wholly  for  God  defign'd. 
Forbear  t'  entice,  ceafc  then  my  foul  to  call : 
'Tis  fix'd,  through  grace  ;  my  God  fliall  be  my  all. 
While  he  thus  lets  me  heavdnly  glories  view. 
Your  beauties  fade,  my  heart 's  no  room  for  you. 

The  Lord  refrefhed  my  foul  with  many  fweet 
paffages  of  his  word.  O  the  New  ^erufilem  !  my 
foul  longed  for  it.  O  tht  Jong  ofMofes  and  the  Lamb  ! 
And  that  bleffed  fong,  that  no  man  can  learn,  but 
they  that  are  redeemed  from  the  earth  !  And  the  glo- 
rious white  robes y  that  were  given  to  the  fouls  under 
the  altar  ! 

Lord,  I'm  a  ftranger  here  alone ; 
Earth  no  true  comforts  can  afford  : 
■  Yet,  abfent  Irom  my  dearelt  one. 
My  foul  delights  to  cry.  My  Lord  ! 

Jefus 


I 


Mr.   DAVID    B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.        4^ 

Jefus,  my  Lord,  ir.y  only  love, 
Poffefs  my  foul,  nor  thence  depart : 
Grant  me  kind  viius,  heavenly  dove  ; 
My  God  (hall  then  have  all  my  heart. 

Monday  J  April%6. — Continued  in  a  fweet  frame  of 
mind  ;  but  in  the  afternoon  felt  fomething  of  fpirit- 
iial  pride  ftirring.  God  was  pleafed  to  make  it  a 
humbling  feafon  at  firft ;  though  afterwards  he  gave 
me  fwectnefs.  O,  my  foul  exceedingly  longs  for 
that  blelfed  ftate  of  perfecStion  of  deliverance  from 
all  fin  !  At  night,  God  enabled  me  to  give  my  foul 
up  to  him,  to  caft  myfelf  upon  him,  to  be  ordered 
and  difpofed  of  according  to  his  fovereign  pleafure  ; 
and  I  enjoyed  great  peace  and  confolation  in  ^o  do- 
ing. My  foul  took  fweet  delight  in  God  to  night  : 
My  thoughts  freely  and  fweetly  centered  in  him, 
O  that  I  could  fpend  every  moment  of  my  life  to 
his  glory. 

Tucfdayy  April  27. — Retired  pretty  early  for  fecret 
devotions  ;  and  in  prayer  God  was  pleafed  to  pour 
fuch  ineffable  comforts  into  my  foul,  that  I  could  do 
nothing  for  fome  time  but  fay  over  and  over,  O  my 
fweet  Saviour  !  O  my  fweet  Saviour !  Whom  have  I  in 
heaven^  but  thee?  and  there  is  none  upon  earthy  that  I 
dtjire  befide  thee.  If  I  had  had  a  thoufand  lives,  my  foul 
would  gladly  have  laid  them  all  down  at  once,  to  have 
been  with  Chrifl.  My  foul  never  enjoyed  fo  much  of 
heaven  before ;  it  was  the  moft  refined  and  mod  fpirit- 
ual  feafon  of  communion  with  God  I  ever  yet  felt  :  I 
never  felt  fo  great  a  degree  of  refignation  in  my 
life  :  I  felt  very  fweetly  all  the  forenoon.  In  the  af- 
ternoon I  withdrevv  to  meet  with  my  God,  but  found 
myfelf  much  declined,  and  God  made  it  a  hum- 
bling feafon  to  my  foul  :  I  mourned  over  the  body  of 
death y  that  is  in  mc :  It  grieved  me  exceedingly, 
that  I  could  not  pray  to  and  praife  God  with  my 
heart  full  of  divine  heavenly  love.  O  that  my  foul 
might  never  offer  any  dead  cold  ferviccs  to  my  God. 

Ill 


46  Th  E    L  I  F  E    or 

In  the  evening  had  not  fo  much  fweet  divine  love  as  in 
the  morning ;  but  had  a  fvveet  feafon  of  fervent  inter- 
ceflion. 

Wednefday,  April  1^, — Withdrew  to  myufual  place 
of  retirement  in  great  peace  and  tranquillity,  and 
fpent  about  two  hours  in  fecret  duties.  I  felt  much 
as  I  did  yedcrday  morning,  only  weaker  and  more 
overcome.  I  feemed  to  hang  and  depend  wholly  on 
my  dear  Lord  ;  wholly  weaned  from  all  other  de- 
pendences. I  knew  not  what  to  fay  to  my  God,  but 
only  lean  on  his  bofom,  as  it  were,  and  breath  out  my 
defircs  after  a  perfedt  conformity  to  him  in  all  things. 
Thirfting  defires  and  infatiable  longings  pofTefTed 
my  foul,  after  perfed:  holinefs  :  God  was  fo  pre- 
cious to  my  foul,  that  the  world  with  all  its  enjoy- 
ments was  infinitely  vile  :  I  had  no  more  value  for 
the  favour  of  men,  than  for  pebbles  :  The  Lord 
was  my  all  ;  and  he  overruled  all  ;  which  greatly 
delighted  me.  I  think  my  faith  and  dependence 
on  God  fcarce  ever  rofe  fo  high.  I  faw  him  fuch  a 
fountain  of  goodnefs,  that  it  feemed  impoflible  I 
fhould  diftruft  him  again,  or  be  any  way  anxious 
about  any  thing  that  fhould  happen  to  me.  '  I  now 
enjoyed  great  fweetnefs  in  praying  for  abfent  friends, 
and  for  the  enlargement  of  Chrift's  kingdom  in  the 
world.  Much  of  the  power  of  thefe  divine  enjoy- 
ments remained  with  me  through  the  day.  In  the 
evening  my  heart  feemed  fweetly  to  melt,  and,  I  trufl, 
was  really  humbled  for  indwelling  corruption,  and 
I  mourned  like  a  dove,  1  felt  that  all  my  unhappinefs 
;arofe  from  my  being  a  finner  ;  for  with  rcfignation 
I  could  bid  welcome  all  other  trials  ;  but  fm  hung 
heavy  upon  me  j  for  God  difcovered  to  me  the  cor- 
ruption of  my  heart  :  So  that  I  went  to  bed  with  a 
heavy  heart,  becaufe  I  was  a  finner;  though  I  did 
not  in  the  leaft  doubt  of  God's  love,  O  that  God 
would  purge  aw(iy  my  drofs,  and  take  away  my  tin, 
and  make  mc  fevcn  times  refined, 

nurfday. 


Mr.     DAVID  bra  I  nerd.        47 

Thurfday'y  April  %<^. — Was  kept  ofFat  a  diftance 
from  God  ;  but  had  fome  enlargement  in  interceflion 
for  precious  fouls. 

FriJjy,  April 'p. — Was  fometbing  dejeded  in  fpir- 
it :  Nothing  grieves  me  fo  much,  as  that  I  cannot 
liveconftantly  to  God's  glory.  I  could  bear  any  de- 
fertion  or  fpiritual  confli<^s,  if  I  could  but  have  7ny 
heart  all  the  while  burning  within  me  with  love  to 
God  and  defires  of  his  glory  :  But  this  is  impoffibie ; 
for  when  I  feel  thefe,  I  cannot  be  dejed:ed  in  my 
foul,  but  only  rejoice  in  my  Saviour,  who  has  deliv- 
ered me  from  the  reigning  power,  and  will  ftiortly 
deliver  me  from  the  indwelling  of  fin. 

Saturday,  May  i . — Was  enabled  to  cry  to  God  with 
fervency  for  minifterial  qualifications,  and  that  God 
would  appear  for  the  advancement  of  his  own  king- 
dom, and  that  he  would  bring  in  the  heathen  world, 
&c.  Had  much  afiTiftance  in  my  ftudies.  This  has 
been  a  profitable  week  to  me  j  1  have  enjoyed  many 
communications  of  the  blelTed  Spirit  in  my  foul. 

hordes  Day^  May  2. — God  was  pleafed  this  morn- 
ing to  give  me  fuch  a  fight  of  myfelf,  as  made  me 
appear  very  vile  in  my  own  eyes  :  I  felt  corruption 
llirring  in  my  heart,  which  I  could  by  no  means  fup- 
prefs  J  felt  more  and  more  deferted ;  was  exceeding 
weak,  and  almofi:  fick  with  my  inward  trials. 

Monday^  May  3. — Had  a  fenfe  of  vile  ingratitude. 
In  the  morning  I  withdrew  to  my  ufual  place  of  re- 
tirement, and  mourned  for  my  abufe  of  my  dear 
Lord  :  Spent  the  day  in  fafling  and  prayer :  God 
gave  me  much  power  of  wrefiling  for  his  caufe  and 
kingdom  :  And  it  was  a  happy  d^y  to  my  foul. 
God  was  with  me  all  the  day,  and  I  was  more  above 
the  world  than  ever  in  my  life. 

[Through  the  remaining  part  of  this  week,  he 
complains  almoft  every  day  of  defertion  and  inward 
trials  and  conflids,  attended  with  dejedion  of  fpirit  ; 

but 


48  T  H  E    L  I  F  £    o  r 

but  yet  {peaks  of  times  of  relief  and  fweetnefs,  and 
daily  refrefliing  vifits  of  the  Divine  Spirit,  affording 
fpecial  alTiftance  and  comfort,  and  enabling,  at  fome 
times,  to  much  fervency  and  enlargement  in  relig- 
ious duties.] 

Lord's  Day ^  Mayg. — I  think  I  never  felt  fo  much 
of  the  curfed  pride  of  my  heart,  as  well  as  the  ftub- 
bornnefs  of  my  will  before.  O  dreadful  !  what  a 
vile  wretch  I  am  !  I  could  not  fubmit  to  be  nothing, 
and  to  lie  down  in  the  duft !  O  that  God  would 
humble  me  in  the  duft.  I  felt  myfelf  fuch  a  finner, 
all  day,  that  I  had  fcarce  any  comifort.  Oh,  when 
Ihall  I  be  delivered  from  the  body  of  this  death  !  I 
greatly  feared,  left  through  ftupidity  and  carcleflhefs 
I  fhould  lofe  the  benefit  of  thefe  trials.  O  that  they 
might  be  fandlified  to  my  foul.  Nothing  feemed  to 
touch  me  but  only  this,  that  I  was  a  finner.  Had  fer- 
vency and  refrefliment  in  fecial  prayer  in  the  evening. 

Monday y  May  lO. — Rode  to  New-Haven;  faw  fome 
chriftian  friends  there ;  had  comfort  in  joining  in 
prayer  with  them,  and  hearing  of  the  goodnefs  of 
God  to  them  fincc  I  laft  faw  them. 

Tucfday,  May  1 1 . — Rode  from  New-Haven  to 
Weathersfield  ;  was  very  dull  mofl  of  the  day ; 
bad  little  fpirituality  in  this  journey,  though  I  often 
longed  to  be  alone  with  God  ;  was  much  perplexed 
with  vile  thoughts  ;  was  fometinies  afraid  of  every 
thing  :  But  God  was  my  helper.  Catchcd  a  little 
time  for  retirement  in  the  evening,  to  my  comfort 
and  rejoicing.  Alas,  I  cannot  live  in  the  midfl  of 
a  tumult !  I  long  to  enjoy  God  alone. 

Wednefday,  May  I2. — HadadiftrelTing  view  of  the 
pride  and  enmity  and  vilenefs  of  my  heart.  After- 
wards had  fweet  refrefliment  in  converling,  and  wor- 
Hiipping  God,  with  chriilian  friends. 

Thurfday,May  13*— Sawfo  much  of  the  wicked- 
nefs  of  my  heart,  that  I  longed  to  get'  av.-ay  from 

myfelf. 


Mr.   DAVID   BR  M  NERD.       49 

myfelf.  I  never  before  thought,  there  was  fo  much 
fpiritual  pride  in  my  foul :  I  felt  almoft  prefled  to 
death  with  my  own  vilenefs.  O,  what  a  body  of 
death  is  there  in  me  !  Lord,  deliver  ?ny  foul.  I  could 
not  find  any  convenient  place  for  retirement,  and  was 
greatly  exercifed.  Rode  to  Hartford  in  the  after- 
noon :  Had  fome  refrefhment  and  comfort  in  relig- 
ious exercifes  with  chriftian  friends  ;  but  longed  for 
more  retirement.  O  the  clofeft  walk  with  God  is 
the  fweeteft  heaven,  that  can  be  enjoyed  on  earth  ! 

Friday,  May  14.— Waited  on  a  council  of  minifters 
convened  at  Hartford,  and  fpread  before  them  the 
treatm.ent  I  had  met  with  from  the  red:or  and  tutors 
of  Yale  College  ;  who  thought  it  advifable  to  inter- 
cede for  me  with  the  recflorand  trullees,  and  to  en- 
treat therii  to  reftore  me  to  my  former  privileges  in  col- 
lege*. After  this,  fpent  fome  time  in  religious  ex- 
ercifes with  chriftian  friends. 

Saturday ,  May  1 5.— Rode  from  Hartford  to  Hebron  • 
was  fomething  dejed:ed  on  the  road  ,•  appeared  ex- 
ceeding vile  in  my  own  eyes  ,•  faw  much  pride  and 
ftubbornnefs  in  my  heart.  Indeed  I  never  faw  fuch 
a  week  before,  as  this ;  for  I  have  been  almofl  ready 
to  die  with  the  view  of  the  wickednefs  of  my  heart. 
I  could  not  have  thought  I  had  fach  a  body  of  death  lu. 
me.     O  that  God  would  deliver  my  foul, 

[The  three  next  days,  which  he  fpent  at  Hebron, 
Lebanon,  and  Norwich,  he  complains  flill  of  dul- 
nefs  and  dcfertion,  and  exprefTes  a  (^ni^  of  his  vile- 
nefs, and  longing  to  hide  himfelf  in  fome  cave 
or  den  of  the  earth  :  But  yet  fpeaks  of  fome  inter- 
vals of  comfort  and  foul  refrediment  each  day.] 

WednefdayMay  19.— [AtMillington]  1  was  fo  amaz- 
ingly defected  this  morning,  that  I  fcemed  io  feel  a 
fort  of  horror  in  my  foul.  Alas,  when  God  withdraws, 
what  is  there  that  can  afford  any  comfort  to  the  foul  1 

D  [Through 

•  *The  appi-c3t;oE '.vki'.h  vraj  thenmxie  on  his  behalf;  had  n^;  the  derued  fu:ceft. 


so  TheLIFEof 

[Through  the  eight  days  next  following,  he  ex- 
prelTes  more  calmnefs  and  comfort,  and  confidera- 
ble  life>  fervency  and  fweetnefs  in  religion.] 

Friday,  Mciyl'6.—[h\.  New-Haven]  I  think,  Ifcarce 
ever  felt  fo  calm  in  my  life ;  I  rejoiced  in  refignation, 
and  giving  myfelf  up  to  God,  to  be  wholly  and  en- 
tirely devoted  to  him  forever. 

[On  the  three  following  days,  there  was,  by  the 
.account  he  gives,  a  continuance  of  the  fame  excel- 
lent frame  of  mind,  lall  expreffed  :  But  it  feems  not 
to  be  altogether  to  fo  great  a  degree.] 

Tuefday^'Junei. — Had  muchof  the  prefenceof  God 
in  family  prayer,  and  had  fome  comfort  in  fccret. 
I  was  greatly  refreflied  from  the  word  of  God  this 
morning,  which  appeared  exceeding  fweet  to  me: 
Some  things  that  appeared  myfterious,  were  opened 
to  me.  O  that  the  kingdom  of  the  dear  Saviour 
might  come  wath  power,  and  the  healing  waters  of 
the  fan5luary  fpread  far  and  wide  for  the  healing  of 
the  ?jations.  Came  to  Ripton  ;  but  was  very  weak  : 
However,  being  vifited  by  a  number  of  young  peo- 
ple in  the  evening,  1  prayed  with  them. 

[The  remaining  part  of  this  week,  hefpeaksof  be- 
ing much  diverted  and  hindered  in  thebufinefs  of  relig- 
ion, by  great  weaknefs  of  body,  and  neceflary  affairs, 
that  he  had  to  attend,  and  complains  of  having  but 
little  power  in  religion  j  but  fignifies,  that  God  here- 
by fliewed  him,  he  was  like  a  helplefs  infant  caftout 
in  the  open  field.] 

Lord's  day,  June  6. — I  feel  much  deferted  :  But  all 
this  teaches  me  my  nothingnefs  and  vilenefs  more 
than  ever. 

Monday, Jane 'J. — Feltftill  powerlefs  in  fecret  pray- 
er. Afterwards  I  prayed,  and  converfed,  with  fome 
little  life.  God  feeds  me  with  crumbs  :  BlelTed  be 
his  name  for  any  thing.  1  felt  a  great  defire,  that 
all  God's  people  might  know  how  mean  and  little 

and 


Mr.   DAVID   BRAINERD.        5! 

and  vile  I  am  ;  that  they  might  fee  I  am  nothingj 
that  fo  they  may  pray  for  me  aright,  and  not  hav6 
the  leaft  dependence  upon  me. 

Tuefday,  June  8.— I  enjoyed  one  fvveet  and  precious 
feafon  this  day  :  I  never  felt  it  fo  fweet  to  be  nothing, 
and  lefs  than  nothing,  and  to  be  accounted  nothing. 

[The  three  next  days  he  complains  ofdefertion, 
and  want  of  fervency  in  religion ;  but  yet  his  Diary 
fhews  that  every  day  his  heart  was  engaged  in  relig- 
ion, as  his  great  and  as  it  vvere  only  bufinefs.] 

Saturday^  'June  I2. — Spent  much  time  in  prJtyer, 
this  morning,  and  enjoyed  much  fweetnefs  :  Feltin- 
fatiable  longings  after  God,  much  of  the  day  :  I 
wondered  how  poor  fouls  do  to  live,  that  have  no 
God.  The  world,  with  all  its  enjoyments,  quite  van- 
ifhed.  I  fee  myfelf  very  helplefs  :  But  I  have  a  bleff- 
ed  God  to  go  to.  I  longed  exceedingly  to  bcdijfohed^ 
and  to  be  iJDith  ChriJ}^  to  behold  his  glory.  O,  my  weak 
weary  foul  longs  to  arrive  at  my  Father* s  houfe. 

Lord* s Day,  Ju?jei'^.-^¥Q\t  fomethingcalm  and  re- 
figned  in  the  publick  worfliip  :  At  the  facrament  faw 
myfelf  very  vile  and  worthlefs.    O  that  I  may  always 
lie  low  in  the  duft.     My  foul  feemed  fteadily  to  go 
forth  after  God,  in  longing  defires  to  live  upon  him. 
Monday,  June  i4.-^Felt  fomethingof  the  fweetnefs 
of  communion  with  Gad,  and  the  conftraining  force 
of  his  love  :    How  admirably  it  captivates  the  foul, 
and  makes  all  the  defires  and  afiedtions  to  center  ia 
God  !    I  fet  apart  this  day  for  fecret  fafting  and  pray- 
er, to  entreat  God  to  diredl  and  blefs  me  with  regard 
to  the  great  work  I  have  in  view,  of  preaching  the 
gofpel  J  and  that  the  Lord  would  return  to  me  and 
Jhew  me  the  light  of  his  countenance.     Had  little  life 
and  power  in  the  forenoon  :  Near  the  middle  of  the 
afternoon,  God  enabled  me  to  wreflle  ardently  in  in- 
tercefTion   for  abfent  friends  1   But  jull  at  night,  the 
Lord  vifited  me  marvelloufly  in  prayer ;    I  think 
D  2,  my 


52  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

niy  foul  never  was  in  fuch  an  agony  before  :  I  fck 
no  reftraint  j  for  the  treafures  of  divine  grace  were 
opened  to  me.  I  wreftled  for  abfent  friends,  for 
the  ingathering  of  fouls,  for  multitudes  of  poor  fouls, 
and  for  many  that  I  thought  were  the  children  of 
God,  perfonally,  in  many  difiant  places.  I  was 
in  fuch  an  agony,  from  fun  half  an  hour  high,  until 
near  dark,  that  I  was  all  over  wet.with  fweat  j  but 
yet  it  feemed  to  me  that  I  had  wafted. away  the  day, 
arid  had  done  nothing.  O,  my  dear  Jefus  did  fweat 
blooil  iQx  poor  fouls  !  I  long  for  more  compaffion 
towards  them.  Felt  ftill  in  a  fvveet  frame,  und^^r  a 
fenfe  of  divine  love  and  grace;  and  went  to  bed  in 
fuch  a -frame,  with  my  heart  fet  on  God. 

Tuefday^  ^une  15.— Had  the  moft  ardent  longings 
after  God,  that  ever  1  felt  in  my  life  :  At  noon,  in 
my  fecret  retirement,  I  could  do  nothing  but  tell  my 
dear  Lord,  in  a  fweet  calm,  that  he  knew  I  longed 
for  nothing  but  himfelf,  nothing  but  holinefs  j  that 
he  had  given  me  thefe  defires,  and  he  only  could 
give  me  the  thing  defired.  I  never  feemed  to  be  io 
unhinged  from  myfelf,  and  to  be  fo  wholly  devot- 
ed to  God.  My  heart  was  fwallowed  up  in  God, 
moft  of  the  day.  In  the  evening  I  had  fuch  a  view 
of  the  fouFs  being  as  it  were  enlarged,  to  contain 
more  holinefs,  that  my  foul  feemed  ready  to  fepa- 
rate  from  my  body  and  ftretch  to  obtain  it.  I  then 
wreftled  in  an  agony  for  divine  bleffings ;  had  my 
heart  drawn  out  in  prayer  for  fomechriftian  friends, 
beyond  what  I  ever  had  before.  I  feel  differently 
now  from  what  ever  I  did  under  any  fweet  enjoy- 
ments before,  more  engaged  to  live  to  God  forever, 
and  Icfs  pleafed  with  my  own  frames  :  I  am  not  fat- 
isfied  with  my  frames,  nor  feel  at  all  more  eafy  af- 
ter-fuch  fvveet  flrugglings  than  before;  for  it  fecms 
far  too  little,  if  I  could  always  be  fo.  O,  how  fhort 
do  I  fall  of  my  duty  in  my  fweetcil  moments  ! 

[In 


Mr.   DAVID   BRAINERD.        s^ 

[In  his  Diary  for  the  two  next  days,  he  exprefTes 
fomething  of  the  fame  frame,  but  inafarlefs  degree*.] 

Friday,  'June  18. — Confidering  my  great  unfitnefs 
for  the  work  of  the  miniftry,  my  prefent  deadnefs, 
and  total  inability  to  do  any  thing  for  the  glory  of  God 
that  way,  feeling  my felf  very  helplefs,andata  great 
lofs  what  the  Lord  'xould  have  me  to  do,  I  fet  apart 
this  day  for  praj^cr  to  God,  and  fpent  moil  of  the 
day  in  that  duty  j  but  amazingly  deferted,  mofl:  of 
the  day  :  Yet  I  found  God  gracioully  near,  once  in 
particular,  while  I  was  pleading  for  ignore  compaf- 
lion  for  immortal  fouls;  my  heart  feemed  to  be  open- 
ed at  once,  and  I  was  enabled  to  cry  with  great  ar- 
dency, for  a  few  minutes.  O,  I  was  diftrefTed,  to 
think,  that  I  fliould  offer  fuch  dead  cold  fervices  to 
the  living  God  I  My  foul  feemed  to  breathe  after 
holinefs,  a  life  of  conilant  devotednefs  to  God,  But 
I  am  almofl:  loft  fometimes  in  the  purfuit  of  this 
bleffednefs,  and  ready  to  fink,  becaufe  I  continually 
fall  (liort  and  mifs  of  my  defire.  O  that  the  Lord 
would  help  me  to  hold  out,  yet  a  little  while,  until 
the  happy  hour  of  deliverance  comes. 

Lord's  Day,  June  10. — Spent  much  time  alone. 
My  foul  longed  to  be  holy,  and  reached  after  God  ; 
but  feemed  not  to  obtain  my  defire  :  I  hungered  and 
thirfted  ;  but  was  not  fweetly  refrelhed  and  fatisfi- 
ed.  My  foul  hung  on  God,  as  my  only  portion.  O 
that  I  could ^rox-  in  grace  more  abundantly  every  day. 

[The  next  day  he  fpeaks  of  his  having  alTiftance  in 
his  ftudies,  and  power,  fervency  and  comfort  in 
prayer.] 

Tit efday,  June  22. — In  the  morning,  fpent  about  two 
hours  in  prayer  and  meditation,  with  confiderable 
delight.  Towards  night,  felt  my  foul  go  out  in  long- 
D3  ing 

*H'-reena  ihe  50  fiift  pages  of  ihe  third  voluwieof  his  Diary,  which  he  fpeaks  of 
jn  the  beirinnins;  of  this  volume  (as  was  ohfervcd  before)  as  con'.aining  a  fpecimen  of 
his  or(linar')>  mani)c-r  of  living,  through  the  whole  fpacc  of  time,  from  the  beginning 
o!  tijofc  two  voJumes  that  v^cre  (Icftroycd . 


54  TheLIFEof 

ing  defires  after  God,  in  fecret  retirement.  In  the 
evening,  was  fvveetly  compofed  and  rcfigned  to 
God's  will ;  was  enabled  to  leave  myfelf  and  all  my 
concerns  with  him,  and  to  have  my  whole  depend- 
ence  upon  him  :  My  fecret  retirement  was  very  re^ 
frefhingto  my  foul :  It  appeared  fuch  a  happinefs  to 
have  God  for  my  portion,  that  I  had  rather  be  any 
other  creature  in  this  lower  creation,  than  not  come 
to  the  enjoyment  of  God  :  I  had  rather  be  a  beaft, 
than  a  man,  without  God,  if  I  were  to  live  here  to 
eternity.     Lord,  endear  thy felf  more  to  me. 

[In  his  Diary  for  the  next  feven  days,'  he  expreffes 
a  variety  of  exercifes  of  mind  ;  He  fpeaks  of  great 
longings  after  God  and  holinefs,  and  earneft  defires 
for  the  conversion  of  others,  of  fervency  in  prayer, 
and  power  to  wreille  with  God,  and  of  compofure, 
comfort  and  fweetnefs,  frpm  time  to  time ;  but  ex- 
preffes  a  fenfe  of  the  vile  abomination  of  his  heart, 
and  bitterly  complains  of  his  barrennefs,  and  the 
prefling  body  of  death  ;  and  fays,  he  faw  clearly  that 
whatever  he  enjoyed  better  than  hell,  was  free  grace.] 

Wednefday,  'Jufie  30. — Spent  this  day  alone  in  the 
woods,  in  failing  and  prayer;  underwent  the  moil 
dreadful  conflids  in  my  foul,  that  ever  I  felt,  in  fome 
refpedts  :  I  faw  myfelf  fo  vile,  that  I  was  ready  to 
fay ,  IJhall  now  perifl)  by  the  hand  of  Saul,  1 1  h  ou  gh  t , 
and  almoft  concluded,  I  had  no  power  to  fland  for 
the  caufe  of  God,  but  was  almoft  ajraid  of  the  Jhak^ 
ing  of  a  leaf.  Spent  almoft  tlie  whole  day  in  prayer, 
incefTantly.  4  could  not  bear  to  think  of  chriflians* 
fhewing  me  any  refpedl.  I  almoft  defpaired  of  do- 
ing any  fervice  in  the  world.  I  could  not  feel  any 
hope  or  comfort  refpec^ting  the  heathen,  which  ufed 
to  afford  me  fome  refrefliment  in  the  darkefl  hours 
of  this  nature.  I  fpent  away  the  day  in  thz  bitter- 
nefs  of  my  foul.  Near  night  I  felt  a  little  better,  ancj 
afterwards  enjoyed  fome  fweetnefs  in  fecret  prayer. 

rkufd^iy. 


k 


Mr.  DAVID  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.       SS 

Thurfday,  'July  i . — Had  fome  fweetnefs  in  prayer 
this  morning.  Felt  exceeding  fweetly  in  lecret 
prayer  to  night,  and  defired  nothing  fo  ardently  as 
that  God  fhould  do  with  me  jiifl  as  he  pleafcd. 

Friday,  July  2. — Felt  compofed  in  fecret  pra3^er, 
in  the  morning.  My  defires  fweetly  afcended  to  God 
this  day,  as  1  was  travelling :  And  was  comfortable  in 
the  evening.    Blefled  be  God  for  all  my  confolations. 

Lord's  Day,  July  4. — Had  confiderable  afliftance. 
In  the  evening,  I  withdrew  and  enjoyed  a  happy 
feafon  in  fecret  prayer  :  God  was  pleafcd  to  give 
me  the  exercife  of  faith,  and  thereby  brought  the  in- 
vifible  and  eternal  world  near  to  my  foul ;  which 
appeared  fweetly  to  me.  I  hoped,  that  my  weary 
pilgrimage  in  the  world  would  be  fliort,  and  that 
it  would  not  be  long  before  I  was  brought  to  my 
heavenly  home  and  Father's  houfe :  I  was  fweetly 
reiigned  to  God's  will,  to  tarry  his  time,  to  do  his 
work,  and  fuffer  his  pleafure.  I  felt  thankfulnefs 
to  God  for  all  my  preiling  defertions  of  late ;  for  I 
am  perfuaded  they  have  been  made  a  means  of  mak- 
ing me  more  humble,  and  much  more  rcfigned.  I 
felt  pleafed,  to  be  little,  to  be  nothing,  and  to  lie  in 
the  duji.  I  enjoyed  life  and  fweet  confolation  in 
pleadingfor  the  dear  children  of  God,  and  the  king- 
dorn  of  Chrifl  in  the  world  :  And  my  foul  earneflly 
breathed  after  holinefs  and  the  enjoyment  of  God. 
O,  come  Lord  J  ejus !  come  quickly.    Amen. 

[By  his  Diary  for  the  remaining  days  of  this  week, 
it  appears  that  he  enjoyed  confide  rabid  compofure 
and  tranquillity,  and  had  fweetnefs  and  fervency  oF 
fpirit  in  prayer,  from  day  to  day.] 

[The  eight  next  days,  he  exprelTcs  confiderable 
comfort  and  fervency  of  fpirit  in  chriflian  converfa- 
tion  and  religious  exercifcs.] 

Monday,  July  19. — My  defires  fccm  cfpecially  to 
be  carried  out  after  weancdnefs  from  tlie  v/crld,  pcr- 
D  4  feet 


^6-  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

fed  deadnefs  to  it,  and  to  be  even  crucified  to  all  its 
allurements.  M}^  foul  longs  to  feci  itfelf  more  of 
a  pilgrim  and  ftranger  here  below  ;  that  nothing 
may  divert  me  from  preiTing  through  the  lonely  def- 
ert,  until  I  arrive  at  my  Father's  houfe. 

Tuefday,  'July  20. — It  was  fweet,  to  give  away 
rnyfelf  to  God,  to  bedifpofed  of  at  his  plcafure  ;  and 
had  fome  feeling  fenfe  of  the  fwcetnefs  of  being  a 
pilgrim  on  earth. 

[The  next  day,  he  exprefles  himfelf  as  determin- 
ed to  be  wholly  devoted  to  God  ;  and  it  appears  by 
his  Diary,  that  he  fpent  the  whole  day  in  a  mofl:  dili- 
gent exercife  of  religion,  and  exceeding  comfortably.] 

Thurfday^  'July  22.— Journeying  from  Southbury 
to  Ripton,  called  at  a  houfe  by  the  way,  where  be- 
ing very  kindly  entertained  and  refrefhed,  I  was  fill- 
ed with  amazement  and  fliame,that  God  fhould  ilir  up 
the  hearts  of  any  to  fhew  \'o  much  kindnefs  to  fuch  a 
dead  dog  <ilS  I ;  was  made  fenfible,  in  fome  mcafure,  hov/ 

exceeding  vile  it  is,  not  to  be  wholly  devoted  to  God. 
I  wondered  that  God  would  fuffer  any  of  his  crea- 
tures to  feed  and  fuftain  me,  from  time  to  time. 

[In  his  Diary  for  the  fix  next  days,  arc  expreffed 
various  exercifes  and  experiences,  fuch  as  fweet  com- 
pofure  and  fervency  of  fpirit  in  meditation  and  pray- 
er, weanednefs  from  the  world,  being  fenfibly  a  piU 
grim  and  llrangeron  the  earth,  engagednels  of  mind 
to  fpend  every  inch  of  time  for  God,  &c.] 

T^hurf day  JJ lily  29. — Was  examined  by  the  aflbci- 
g^tion  met  at  Danbury,  as  to  my  learning,  and  alfo 
my  experiences  in  religion,  and  received  a  licenfe 
from  them  to  preach  the  gofpel  of  Chrifi.  After- 
wards felt  much  devoted  to  God  ;  jointed  in  prayer 
with  one  of  the  miniliers,  my  peculiar  friend,  in  a 
convenient  place ;  went  to  bed  refolving  to  live  de- 
voted to  God  all  my  days. 

PART 


Mr.   DAVID    BRA  IN  ERD.        57 
PART       III. 


From  the  tme  of  his  being  Ucenfed  to  preachy  by  the 
Ajfociation^  until  he  was  examined  in  Newyork,  by 
the  Correfpondents  or  Comniijfioners  of  the  Society  in 
Scotland  for  propagating  Chriflian  Knoi£ledge^  and 
approved  and  appointed  as  their  Missionary  to 
//6^  Indians. 

FRIDAY,  ^^uly  30,  1742.— Rode  from  Danbury  to 
Southbury  ;  preached  there  from  i  Pet.  iv.  8. 
Had  much  of  the  comfortable  prefence  of  God  in 
the  cxercife  :  I  feemed  to  have  power  with  God  in 
prayer,  and  power  to  get  hold  of  the  hearts  of  the 
people  in  preaching. 

Saturday,  "July  31. — Exceeding  calm  and  compof- 
ed,  and  was  greatly  refreflied  and  encouraged. 

[It  appears  by  his  Diary,  that  he  continued  in  this 
fweetnefs  and  tranquillity,  almofl  through  the  whole 
of  the  next  week.] 

Lord*s  Day,  Augujl  8. — In  the  morning  felt  com- 
fortably in  fccrct  prayer  ;  my  foul  was  refrefhed  with 
the  hopes  of  the  heathen's  coming  home  to  Chrill  ; 
was  much  refigned  to  God  ;  I  thought  it  was  no  mat- 
ter what  became  of  me.  Preached  both  parts  of  the 
day  at  Bethlehem,  from  Job  xiv.  14.  It  was  fweet 
to  me  to  meditate  on  death.  In  the  evening,  telt 
very  comfortably,  and  cried  to  Gpd  fervently,  in  fe- 
crct  prayer. 

Thurfday,  Augvfl  I2. — Thismorning  and  lafl:  night 
was  exercKed  with  fore  inward  trials  :  I  had  no  pow- 
er to  pray  j  but  feem.ed  Ihut  out  from  God.  I  had 
in  a  great  nicafure  loll:  my  hopes  of  God's  fending 
mc  among  the  heathen  afar  off,  and  of  feeinsr  them 

jflock 


58  The    LI  F  E    OF         > 

flock  home  to  Chrift.  I  faw  fo  much  of  my  helHfh 
vilenefs,  that  I  appeared  worfe  to  myfelf,  than  any 
devil  :  I  wondered  that  God  would  let  me  live,  and 
wondered  that  people  did  not  Hone  me,  much  more, 
that  they  would  ever  hear  me  preach  !  It  feemed 
as  though  I  never  could  nor  fhould  preach  any 
more ;  yet  about  nine  or  ten  o*clock,  the  people  came 
over,  and  I  was  forced  to  preach  :  And  blefTed  be 
God,  he  gave  me  his  prefence  and  fpirit  in  prayer 
and  preaching  :  So  that  I  was  much  affifted,  and 
fpake  with  power  from  Job  xiv.  14.  Some  Indians 
cried  out  in  great  diftrefs*,  and  all  appeared  greatly 
concerned.  After  we  had  prayed  and  exhorted  them 
to  feek  the  Lord  with  conftancy,  and  hired  an  En- 
glifh  woman  to  keep  a  kind  of  fchool  among  them, 
we  came  away  about  one  o'clock,  and  came  to  Ju- 
dea,  about  fifteen  or  fixteen  miles.  There  God  was 
pleafed  to  vifit  my  foul  with  much  comfort.  BlefT- 
ed be  the  Lord  for  all  things  I  meet  with. 

[It  appears,  that  the  two  next  days  he  had  much 
comfort,  and  had  his  heart  much  engaged  in  religion .  ] 

hordes  DayyAugufli'T,. — Felt  much  comforttend 
devotednefs  to  God  this  day.  At  night, it  was  refrefli- 
ing,  to  get  alone  with  God  and  pour  out  my  fouL  O 
who  can  conceive  of  the  fweetnefs  of  communion 
with  the  bleffed  God,  but  thofe  that  have  experience 
of  it  !  Glory  to  God  forever,  that  I  may  tafte  heav- 
en below. 

Monday y  Augujl  16. — Had  fome  comfort  in  fecret 
prayer,  in  the  morning.  Felt  fweetly  fundry  times 
in  prayer  this  day^  But  was  much  perplexed  in  the 
evening  with  vain  converfation. 

I'ucfdayy  Augujl  17. — Exceedingly  dcpreflTed  in 
fpirit.  It  cuts  and  wounds  my  heart,  to  think  how 
much  felf  exaltation,  fpiritual  pride,  and  warmth  of 

*   temper, 

•  It  was  in  a  place  near  Kent,  in  tbfi  weflcrn  bortlcrs  of  Connecticut, whrrc  thcic 
vas  a  number  oi  ludiani. 


Mr*    DAVID   BR  AI  NERD.        59 

temper,  I  have  formerly  bad  intermingled  with  my 
endeavours  to  promote  God's  work  :  And  fometimes 
I  long  to  lie  down  at  the  feet  of  oppofers,  and  con- 
fefs  what  a  poor  imperfed:  creature  I  have  been  and 
ftill  am.  O,  the  Lord  forgive  me,  and  make  me  for 
the  future  wife  as  aferpent^  and  harmlefs  as  a  dove. 
Afterwards  enjoyed  conliderable  comfort  and  delight 
of  foul. 

Wednefday,  Augiijl  18.— Spent  moft  of  this  day  in 
prayer  and  reading.  I  fee  fo  much  of  my  own  ex- 
treme vilenefs,  that  I  feel  afhamed  and  guilty  before 
God  and  man  :  I  look  to  myfelf,  like  the  vileft  fel- 
low in  the  land  :  I  wonder,  that  God  ftirs  up  his  peo- 
ple to  be  fo  kind  to  me. 

Thurfday,  Augujl  19. — This  day,  being  about  Xq 
go  from  Mr.  Bellamy's  at  Bethlehem,  where  I  had 
refided  fome  time,  prayed  with  him,  and  two  or 
three  other  chriftian  friends,  and  gave  ourfelves  to 
God  with  all  our  hearts,  to  he  his  forever.  Eternity 
looked  very  near  to  me,  while  I  was  praying.  If  I 
never  Ihould  fee  thefe  chriftians  again  in  this  world 
it  feewed  but  a  few  mom.ents  bct^ore  I  (liould  meet 
them  in  another  world.     Parted  with  them  Ivvectly. 

Friday y  Augu/l  20. — I  appeared  fo  vile  to  myfelf, 
that  I  hardly  dared  to  think  of  being  fecn,  efpecially 
on  account  of  fpiritual  pride.  However,  tonight,  I 
enjoyed  a  fvveet  hour  alone  with  God  [at  Rip  ton.]  I 
was  lifted  above  the  frowns  and  flatteries  of  this  low- 
er world,  had  a  fvveet  relilli  of  heavenly  joys,  and 
my  foul  did  as  it  were  get  into  the  eternal  world,  and 
really  tafte  of  heaven.  I  had  a  fweel^feafon  of  inter- 
ccflion  tor  dear  friends  in  Chrifl:  ;  and  God  helped 
.  me  to  cry  fervently  for  Zion.  BlciTed  be  God  for 
this  fealon. 

Monday,  Aiiguji  23. — Had  a  fweet  feafon  in  fccret 
prayer  :  The  Lord  drew  near  to  my  foul,  and  fdled 
mc  Vxith  peace  anci  divine  confolation.     O,  mv  foul 

tailed 


66  TheLIFEof  ' 

taftevl  the  fweetnefs  of  the  upper  world  ;  and  was 
fweetly  drawn  out  in  prayer  for  the  world,  that  it 
might  come  home  to  Chrifl:  !  Had  much  comfort  in 
the  thoughts  and  hopes  ofthe  ingathering  of  the  hea- 
then ;  and  was  greatly  aflifted  in  interceflion  for 
.  chriftian  friends. 

[He  continued  ftill  in  the  fame  frame  of  mind  the 
next  day,  but  in  a  lefTer  degree.] 

IFedncfday^  Augujl  25. — In  family  prayer,  God 
helped  me  to  climb  up  near  him,  fo  that  1  fcarce  ever 
got  nearer. 

Monday,  Augujl  30. — Felt  fomething  comfortably 
in  the  morning  j  converfed  fweetly  with  fome  friends  \ 
was  in  a  ferious  compofed  frame  ;  prayed  at  a  certain 
houfe  with  fome  degree  of  fweetnefs.     Afterwards, 
at  another  houfe,  prayed  privately  with  a  dear  chrif- 
tian friend  or  two  j  and  I  think  I  fcarce  ever  launch- 
ed fo  far  into  the  eternal  world,  asthen  ;  I  got  fo  far 
out  on  the  broad  ocean,  that  my  foul  with  joy  tri- 
umphed over  all  the  evils  on  the  fliores  of  mortality. 
I  think  time  and  all  its  gay  amufements   and  cruel 
difappointmcnts,  never  appeared  foinconfiderable  to 
me  before  :  I  was  in  a  fweet  frame  ;  I  faw  myfelf 
nothing,  and  my  foul  reached  after  God  with  intenfe 
defire.     O  !  I  faw  what  I  owed  to  God,  in  fuch  a 
manner,  as  I  fcarce  ever  did  :  I  knew,  1  had  never  lived 
a  moment  to  him,  as  I  fhould  do  :  Indeed  it  appear- 
ed to  me,  I  had  never  done  any  thing  in  cliriftianity  ; 
My  foul  longed  with  a  vehement  defire  to  live  to  God. 
In  the  evening,  fung  and  prayed  with  a  numbef  of 
cliriflians  :  Felt  ihe  poiz^ers  ofthe  'world  to  come^  in 
my  foul,  in  prayer.     Afterwards  prayed  again  pri- 
vately, with  a  dear  chriftian  or  two,  and  found  the 
prefence  of  God  ;  was  fomething  humbled  in  my  fe- 
cret  retirement  ;  felt  my  ingratitude,  becaufc  I  was 
not  wholly  fwallowed  up  in  God. 

[He  was  in  a  fweet  frame  great  part  of  the  next  day .  ] 

IVcdncJday^ 


{ 


Mr.   DA  VI  D   BR  AI  NERD.       6i 

Wednefday,  September  I. — Went  to  Judea,  to  the 
Ordination  of  Mr.  Jiidd.  Dear  Mr.  Bellamy  preach- 
ed from  Matth.  xxiv.  46.  BleJJed  is  that  fervant,  . 
^c.  I  felt  very  folemn,  and  very  fvveetly,  moil  of 
the  time ;  had  my  thoughts  much  on  that  time  when 
our  Lord  will  come  ;  that  time  refreflied  my  foul 
much  j  only  I  was  afraid,  I  fliould  not  be  found 
faithful,  bccaufe  I  have  fo  vile  a  heart.  My  thoughts 
were  much  in  eternity,  where  I  love  to  dwell.  BlefT- 
ed  be  God  for  this  folemn  feafbn.  Rode  home  xo 
night  with  Mr.  Bellamy  ;  felt  ibmething  fweetly 
on  the  road  ;  converfed  with  fome  friends  until  it 
was  very  late,  and  then  retired  to  reft  in  a  comforta- 
ble frame. 

Tburfday,  September  2. — About  two  in  the  after- 
noon, I  preached  from  Job.  vi.  67.  and  God  affifted 
me  in  fomc  comfortable  degree  ;  but  more  efpecially 
in  my  firft  prayer  ;  my  foul  feemed  then  to  launch 
quite  into  the  eternal  world,  and  to  be  as  it  werefep- 
arated  from  this  lower  world.  Afterwards  preached 
again  from  Ifa.  v.  4.  God  gave  me  fome  ailiftancc  ; 
but  I  faw  myfelf  a  poor  worm. 

[On  Friday,  September  3,  he  complains  of  having 
but  little  life  in  the  things  of  God,  the  former  part 
of  the  day,  but  afterwards  fpeaks  of  fweetnefs  and 
enlargement.] 

Saturday y  September  4. — Much  out  of  health,  and 
exceedingly  dcpreffed  in  my  foul,  and  wis  at  an  aw- 
ful diftancc  from  God.  Towards  night  fpent  fome 
time  in  profitable  thoughts  on  Rom.  viii.  2.  Near 
night,  had  a  very  fvveet  feafon  in  prayer ;  God  ena- 
bled m.e  to  wreflle  ardently  for  the  advancement  of 
the  Redeemer*s  kingdom  ;  pleaded  earnefUy  for  my 
own  dear  brother  John,  that  God  would  make  him  t 
more  of  a  pilgrim  and  ftranger  on  the  earth,  and  fit 
him  for  finguiar  ferviccablenefs  in  the  world  ;  and 
my  heart  fweetly  exulted  in  the  Lord,  in  the  thoughts 

of 


63  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F       . 

of  any  diflrefles  that  might  alight  on  him  or  mc,  hi 
the  advancement  of  Chrift^s  kingdom.  It  was  a 
fwcet  and  comfortable  hour  unto  my  foul,  while  I 
was  indulged  freedom  to  plead,  not  only  for  myfelf, 
but,  for  many  other  fouls. 

Lord's  Day,  September  5.— Preached  all  day  ;  was 
fomething  (Irengthencd  and  aflifted  in  the  afternoon ; 
more  efpecially  in  the  evening  :  Had  a  fenfe  of  my 
iinfpeakablc  fhort  comings  in  all  my  duties.  I  found, 
alas  !  that  I  had  never  lived  to  God  in  my  life. 

Monday y  September  6. — Was  informed  that  they 
only  waited  for  an  opportunity  to  apprehend  me  for 
preaching  at  New-Haven  lately,  that  fo  they  might 
impriibn  me  :  This  made  me  more  folemn  and  feri- 
ous,  and  to  quit  all  hopes  of  the  world*s  friend iliip  : 
It  brought  me  to  a  further  fenfe  of  my  vilenefs,  and 
juft  defert  of  this,  and  much  more,  from  the  hand  of 
God,  though  not  from  the  hand  of  man  :  Retired 
into  a  convenient  place  in  the  woods,  and  fpreadthc 
matter  before  God. 

[Tuefday'y  September']. — This  day  he  rode  to  New- 
Haven,  but  was  obliged  to  fecrete  himfelf  among 
private  friends] 

Wednefdayy  September  8. — Felt  very  fweetly,  when 
I  firfl  rofe  in  the  morning.  In  family  prayer,  had 
fome  enlargement,  but  not  much  fpirituality,  until 
eternity  came  up  before  me  and  looked  near  :  I  found 
fom.e  fweetnefs  in  the  thoughts  of  bidding  a  dying^ 
farewell  to  this  tirefome  world..  Though  fome- 
time  ago  I  reckoned  upon  feeing  my  dear  friends  at 
commencement,  yet  being  now  denied  the  opportu- 
nity, for  fear  of  imprifonment,  I  felt  totally  refign- 
ed,  and  as  contented  to  fpend  this  day  alone  in  the 
woods,  as  I  could  have  done,  if  I  had  been  allowed 
to  go  to  town.  Felt  exceedingly  weaned  from  the 
world  to  day.  In  the  afternoon  difcourfed  fome- 
thing on  fome  divine  things  with  a  dear  chriflian 

friend, 


Mr.    DAVID  BR  a  I  nerd.       6^ 

friend,  whereby  we  were  both  refreflied.  Then  I 
prayed,  with  a  fweet  fenfe  of  thebleirednefs  of  com- 
munion 'with  God  :  I  think  I  fcarce  ever  enjoyed 
more  of  God  in  any  one  prayer.  O  it  was  a  blelled 
feafon  indeed  to  my  foul !  I  knew  not  that  ever  I  favv 
fo  much  of  my  own  nothingnefs  in  my  life  ;  never 
wondered  fo,  that  God  allowed  me  to  preach  his 
word  ;  never  was  fo  aftonifhed  as  now.  This  has 
been  a  fweet  and  comfortable  day  to  my  foul ;  Bleff- 
ed  be  God.  Prayed  again  with  my  dear  friend,  with 
fomething  of  the  divine  prefence.  I  long  to  be 
wholly  conformed  to  God,  and  transformed  into  his 
image. 

Tburfiluy,  September  (). — Spent  much  of  the  day 
alone  :  Enjoyed  the  prefence  of  God  in  fome  com- 
fortable degree  :  Was  vifited  by  fome  dear  friends, 
and   prayed  with  them  :    Wrote  fundry  letters   io 
friends  j  felt  religion  in  my  foul  while  writing  :  En- 
joyed fome  fweet  meditations  on  fome  fcriptures. 
In  the  evening,  went  very  privately  into  town,  from 
the  place  of  my  refidence  at  the  farms,  and  converfed 
with   fome  dear  friends  j  felt  fweetly    in   finging 
hymns  with  them  ;  and  made  my  efcape  to  the  farms 
again,  without  being  difcovered  by  my  enemies,  as  I 
knew  of.     Thus  the  Lord  preferves  me  continually. 
Friday y  September  \0. — Longed  with  intenfe  defire 
after  God  :  My  whole  foul  fcemed  impatient  to  be 
conformed  to  him,  and  to  become  holy^  as  he  is  holy. 
In  the  afternoon,  prayed  with  a  dear  friend  privately, 
and   had  the   prefence  of  God  with  us ;  our  fouls 
united  together  to  reach  after  a  bleffed  immortality, 
to  be  unclothed  of  the  body  of  Jin  a?id  death,  and  to 
enter  the  bleffed  world ,  where  no  unclean  thing  enters. 
O,  with   what  intenfe  defire  did  our  fouls  long  for 
that  bleffed  day,  that  we  might  be    freed  from  fin, 
and  forever  live  to  and  in  our  God  !  In  the  evening, 
took  leave  of  that  houfe  j  but  firft  kneeled  down  and 

prayed ; 


64  TheLIFEop 

prayed  ;  the  hordwas  of  a  truth  in  the  midjl  of  us  ; 
it  vvas  a  fwect  parting  fcafon;  felt  in  myfelf  much 
fweetnefs  and_affe(5tion  in  the  things  of  God.  Bleir- 
cd-beGod  for  every  luch  divine  gale  of  his  Spirit, 
to  fpced  me  in  my  way  to  the  New  Jerufalem  !  Felt 
fome  fweetnefs  afterwards,  and  fpent  the  evening  in 
converfation  with  friends,  and  prayed  v;ith  fome  life, 
and  retired  to  reft  vefy  late. 

[The  five  next  days,  he  appears  to  have  been  in 
an  exceeding  comfortable,  fweet  frame  of  mind,  for 
the  moft  part,  and  to  have  been  the  fwbjetSt  of  the 
like  heavenly  exercifes  as  are  often  expielTed  in  pre- 
ceding pafTages  of  his  Diary.] 

Thurfday,  September  i6.— At  nighti  felt  exceeding 
fweetly  :  Enjoyed  much  of  God  iri  Jecret  prayer: 
Felt  an  uncommon  refignation,  to  be  and  do  what 
God  pleafed.  Some  days  part,  I  felt  great  perplex- 
ity on,account  of  my  paft  condud  :  My  bitternefs, 
and  want  of  chriftian  kindnefs  and  love,  has  been 
very-diftreffing  to  my  foul.  The  Lord  forgive  me 
my  unchriilian  warmth,  and  want  of  4  fpirit  of  meek- 
nefs. 

[The  next  day,  he  fpeaks  of  much  refignation, 
calmncfs  and  peace  of  mind,  and  near  views  of  the 
eternal  world.] 

Saturday,  September  18. — Felt  fome  compaflion 
for  fouls,  and  mourned  I  had  no  more.  I  feel  much 
more  kindnefs,  meeknefs,  gentlencfs  and  love  to- 
wards all  mankind,  than  ever.  I  long  to  be  at  the 
feet  of  my  enemies  and  perfecutors.  Enjoyed  fome 
fweetnefs,  in  feeling  my  foul  conformed  to  Chrjfl 
Jefus,  and  given  away  to  him  forever,  in  prayer  io 
day. 

[The  next  ten  days,  he  appears  to  have  been  for 
the  niofl  part  under  great  degrees  of  melancholy,  ex- 
ceedingly dcjcdied  and  difcouraged  ;  fpeaks  of  his 
being  ready  to  give  up  all  for  gone  refpedting  the 

caufe 


Mr.   DAVID   BR  AI  NERO.        65 

caiife  of  ChriH,  and  exceedingly  longing  to  die  :  Yet 
had  Ibmefweet  ieafons  and  intervals  ot  comfort,  and 
Ipecial  affiflance  and  enlargement  in  the  duties  of  re-* 
ligion,  and  in  performing  publick  fervices,  and  con* 
liderable  fuccefs  in  them.] 

Thurfday,  September  'Tp.-^^iWl  very  low  ih  fpirits, 
and  did  not  know  how  to  engage  in  any  work  orbuf- 
inefs,  efpecially  to  correct  fome  diforders  among 
chriftians ;  felt  as  though  I  had  no  power  to  be  faith- 
ful in  that  regard.  However,  towards  noon,  preach- 
ed from  Deut.  viii.  2.  and  was  enabled  with  free- 
dom to  reprove  fome  things  in  chriftians*  conduct, 
that  I  thought  very  unfuitable  and  irregular  -,  infill- 
ed near  two  hours  on  this  fubjed:. 

[Through  this  and  the  two  following  Weeks,  he 
palTed  through  a  variety  of  exercifes  :  He  was  fre- 
quently dejeded,  and  felt  inward  diftrefles  ;  and 
fometimes  funk  into  the  depths  of  melancholy  :  At 
which  turns,  he  was  not  exercifed  about  the  ftate  of 
his  foul,  with  regard  to  the  favour  of  God  and  his 
interetl  in  Chrift,  but  about  his  own  finful  infirmi- 
ties, and  uniitnefs  for  God's  fervice*  His  mind  ap- 
pears fometimes  extremely  deprefTed  and  funk  with 
a  fenfe  of  inexpreffible  vilenefs*  But  in  the  mean 
time,  he  fpeaks  of  many  feafons  of  comfort  and  fpir- 
itual  refrefliment,  wherein  his  heart  was  encouraged 
and  ftrengthened  in  God,  and  fweetly  refigned  to  his 
will,  and  of  fome  feafons  of  very  high  degrees  or 
fpiritual  confolatlon,  and  of  his  great  longings  after 
holinefsand  conformity  to  God,  of  his  great  fear  of 
offending  God,  of  his  heart*s  being  fweetly  melted 
fn  religious  duties,  of  his  longing  for  the  advance- 
ment of  Chrift's  kingdom,  and  of  his  having  at  fome 
times  much  afliftance  in  preaching,  and  of  femarka* 
ble  efTeCls  on  the  auditoryj 

Lord's  D^y\^  OBober  17.— -Had  a  con ff def able  fen fd 
of  my  helpleiinefs  and  inability  j  faw  that  I  muft  bc^ 
B  dependent 


6$  TheLIFEof 

dependent  on  God  for  all  I  want ;  and  efpccially 
when  I  went  to  the  place  of  publick  worfliip  :  I 
found  I  could  not  fpeak  a  word  for  God  without  his 
fpecial  help  and  ajTiftance  :  I  went  into  the  affembly 
trembling,  as  1  frequently  do,  under  a  fenfe  of  my 
infufEciency  to  do  any  thing  in  the  caufe  of  God,  as 
I  ought  to  do.  But  it  pleafed  God  to  afford  me 
much  nfliftance,  and  there  feemed  to  be  a  confidera- 
ble  effed:  on  the  hearers.  In  the  evening,  I  felt  a 
difpofition  to  praife  God  for  his  goodnefs  to  me,  in 
fpecial,  that  he  had  enabled  me  in  fome  meafure  to 
be  faithful ;  and  my  foul  rejoiced  to  think,  that  I  had 
thus  performed  the  work  of  one  day  more,  and  was 
one  day  nearer  my  eternal,  and  (I  truft)  my  heavenly 
home.  O  that  I  might  h^  faithful  to  the  deaths  ful- 
filling  as  an  hireling  my  day^  until  the  fhades  of  the 
evening  of  life  fliall  free  my  foul  from  the  toils 
of  the  day  !  This  evening,  in  fecret  prayer,  I  felt  ex- 
ceeding folemn,  and  fuch  longing  defires  after  deliv- 
erance from  fin,  and  after  conformity  to  God,  as 
melted  my  heart.  O,  I  longed  to  be  delivered  from 
this  body  of  death  !  I  felt  inward  pleafing  pain, 
that  I  could  not  be  conformed  to  God  entirely,  fully 
and  forever.  I  fcarce  ever  preach  without  being  firfl 
vifited  with  inward  conflidts  and  fore  trials.  Blelf- 
ed  be  the  Lord  for  thefe  trials  and  diftreffes,  as  they 
are  blelTed  for  my  humbling. 

Monday,  OBober  i8. — In  the  morning,  felt  fome 
fweetnefs,  but  ftill  preffed  through  fome  trials  of  foul. 
My  life  is  a  conftant  mixture  of  confolations  and  con- 
flicfts,  and  will  be  fo  until  I  arrive  at  the  world  of 
fpirits. 

Tuefday,  OBober  19. — This  morning  and  lafl:  night, 
felt  ^  fweet  longing  in  my  foul  after  holinefs  :  My 
foul  feemed  fo  to  reach  and  ftretch  towards  the  mark 
of  perfed:  fan^^tity,  that  it  was  ready  to  break  with 
longings. 

Thurfday, 


Mr.   DAVID   BRAINERD.       ^ 

Thurfdayy  OBober  2i.— Had  a  very  deep  fenfe  of 
the  vanity  of  the  world,  moft  of  the  day  ;  had  little 
more  regard  to  it,  than  if  I  had  been  to  go  into  eter- 
nity the  next  hour.  Through  divine  goodnefs  I  felt 
very  ferious  and  folemn.  O,  I  love  to  live  on  the 
brink  of  eternity,  in  my  views  and  meditations  !  This 
gives  me  a  fweet,  awful  and  reverential  fenfe  and  ap- 
prehenfion  of  God  and  divine  things,  when  I  fee  my- 
felf  as  it  \MtxtJianding  before  the  judgment  feat  ofChrift, 

'Friday y  OBober  22. — Uncommonly  weaned  from 
the  world  to  day  :  My  foul  delighted  to  be  2iflranger 
and  pilgrim  on  the  earth  :  1  felt  a  difpofition  in  me  never 
to  have  any  thing  to  do  with  this  world  :  The  char- 
after  given  of  fome  of  the  ancient  people  of  God,  in. 
Heb.  xi.  13.  was  very  pleafing  to  me.  They  confejfed- 
that  they  "jvere  pilgrims  andflrangers  on  the  earthy  by 
their  daily  practice  ;  arid  O  that  1  could  always  do 
fo  !  Spent  fome  confiderable  time,  in  a  pleafant 
grove,  in  prayer  and  meditation.  O  it  is  fweet,  to 
be  thus  weaned  from  friends,  and  from  myfelf,  and 
dead  to  the  prefent  world,  that  fo  I  may  live  wholly 
to  and  upon  the  bleffed  God.  Saw  myfelf  little,  low, 
and  vile  in  myfelf.  In  the  afternoon,  preached  at 
Bethlehem,  from  Deiit.  viii.  2.  and  felt  fweetly  both 
in  prayer  and  preaching  :  God  helped  ^^le  to  fpeak 
to  the  hearts  of  dear  chriflians.  Blcffed  be  the  Lord 
for  this  feafoh  :  I  truft,  they  and  I  fliall  rejoice  on 
this  account  to  all  eternity.  Dear  Mr.  Bellamy  came 
in,  while  I  was  making  the  firft  prayer  (being  return- 
ed home  from  a  journey)  and  after  meeting,  w^e 
walked  away  together,  arid  fpent  the  evening  in 
fweetly  converfing  on  divine  things,  imd  praying  to- 
gether, with  fweet  kjhd  tender  love  to  each  other, 
and  retired  to  reft  vvith  our  hearts  in  a  ferious  fpir- 
itual  frame. 

Monday,  O^^o^f/- 25.— [At  Turkey- trills.]  In  the 
evening  enjoyed  the  divine  prefence  in  fecret  praver : 

E:;  ,  It 


6a  TheLIFEof 

It  was  a  Tweet  and  comfortable  feafon  to  me  :  My 
foul  longed  for  .God^  for  the'  living. God:  Enjoyed  a 
fweet  folemnity  of  fpirit,  and  longing  defire  after 
the  recovery  of  the  divine  image  in  my  foul ;  Then 
fhall  I  befatisficd^  when  Ifljall  awake  in  God^s  like- 
nefsy  and  never  before. 

Tuefday,  Oaober26.—[kt  Wefl-Siiffield.]  Under- 
went the  mod  dreadful  diftrelTes,  under  a  fenfe  of 
my  own  unworthinefs  :  It  feemcd  to  me,  I  deferved 
rather  to  be  driven  out  of  the  place,  than  to  have  any 
body  treat  me  with  any  kindnefs,  or  come  to  hear  me 
preach.  And  verily  my  fpirits  were  fodeprcffed  at  this 
time,  as  well  as  at  many  others,  that  it  was  impofli- 
blelfliould  treat  immortal  fouls  with  faith fulnefs  :  I 
could  not  deal  clofely  and  faithfully  with  them,  I  felt 
fo  infinitely  vile  in  myfelf.  O,  what  dufl  and  afhes 
I  am,  to  think  of  preaching  the  gofpcl  to  others  ! 
Indeed,  I  never  can  be  faithful  for  one  moment,  but 
fhall  certainly  daub  with  unte??jpered  mortarj  if  God 
dees  not  grant  me  fpecial  help.  In  the  evening,  I  went 
to  the  meeting  houfe,  and  it  looked  to  me  near  as  ea- 
fy  for  one  to  rife  out  of  the  grave  and  preach,  as  for 
me.  However,  God  afforded  me  fome  life  and  pow- 
er, both  in  prayer  and  fermon  :  God  was  pleafed  to 
lift  me  up,  and  (hew  me  that  he  could  enable  me  to 
preach.  O  the  wonderful  goodnefs  of  God  ^o  fo 
vile  a  finner  1  Returned  to  my  quarters  ;  and  enjoy- 
ed fome  fvveetnefs  in  prayer  alone,  and  mourned  that 
I  could  not  live  more  to  God. 

IVednefday,  Otiober  27. — Spent  the  forenoon  in 
prayer  and  meditation  :  Was  not  a  little  concerned 
about  preaching  in  the  afternoon  :  Felt  exceedingly 
without  flrength,  and  very  helplefs  indeed  :  Went 
into  the  meeting  houfe,  afhamed  to  fee  any  come  to 
hear  fuch  an  unfpeakahly  worthlefs  wretch.  How- 
ever, God  enabled  me  to  fpeak  with  clearnefs,  pow- 
er, and  pungency  :  But  there  was  fome  noife  and  tu- 
mult 


M  R.   D  A  V  I  D   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.        69 

niult  in  the  afTembl/,  that  I  did  not  well  like,  and 
endeavoured  to  bear  publick  teftimony  againft,  with 
moderation  and  mlldnefs;,  through  the  current  of  my 
difcourfc.  In  the  evening,  was  enabled  to  be.  in 
fome  meafure  thankful  and  devoted  to  Godp 

[The  frames  and  exercifes  of  his  mind,  during  the 
four  next  days,  were  moftly  very  limilar  to  thofe  of 
the  tv^o  days  paft;  excepting  intervals  of  cpnfidera- 
ble  degrees  of  divine  peace  and  confolation.]         .,,. 

[Within  this  time  he  rode  from  Suffield  to  Eaflbu- 
ry,  Hebron,  and  Lebanon.] 

Thi/rJ'daVj  NoveiJiber  .  ^. — [At  Lebanon.]  5aw 
much  of  my  nothini^nefs,  moft  of  this  day  j  but  felt 
concerned  that  I  had  no  morefenfeof  my  infufHcien:- 
cyjind  unworthincfs.  \  O  it  is  fweet  Ipitg  in.  thc-dujij 
but  it  is  diflrefling,  to  feel  in  n1y  foul  that  hell  of 
corruption,  which  ftill  remains  in  me.  In  the  after- 
noon, had  a  fenfe  of  the  fweetnefs  of  a,  ftrid:,  ,c^ofe 
and  conflant  devotednefs  to  God,  and  my  foul  was 
comforted  with  the  confolations  of  God  ;  my  foul 
felt  a  plcafing,  yet  painful  concern,  left  I  Ihould 
fpend  fome  moments  ivithout  God.  O  may  I  always 
live  to  God,  In  the  evening,  was  viiired  by  fome 
friends,  and  fpcnt  the  time  in  prayer  and  fuch  cojv 
verfation  as  tended  to  our  edification.  It  was  a  com- 
fortable feafon  to  my  foul  :  1  felt  an  intenfe  dcfire  to 
fpend  every  moment  for  God.  God  is  unfpeakably 
gracious  to  me  continually  :  In  times  paft,  he  has 
given  me  inexprelTible  fweetnefs  in  the  performance 
of  duty  :  Frequently  my  foul  has  enjoyed  much  of 
God  ;  but  has  been  ready  to  fay,  Lordit  is  good  to  be 
here  ;  and  fo  to  indulge  iloth,  wliile  I  have  lived  on 
the  fweetnefs  of  my  feelings.  But  of  late,  God  has 
been  pleafed  to  keep  my  foul  hungry,  almoft  contin- 
ually ;  fo  that  I  have  been  filled  with  a  kind  of  a 
plcafing  pain  :  When  I  really  enjoy  God,  I  feel  my 
defiresof  him  the  more  influiable,  and  my  thirftings 

E  3  after 


7p  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    Q  F 

after  holinefs  the  more  unquenchable  ;  and  the  Lord 
will  not  allow  me  to  feel  as  though  I  were  fully  fup- 
plied  and  fatisfied,  but  keeps  me  dill  reaching  for- 
ward ;  and  I  feel  barren  and  empty,  as  though  I 
could  not  live,  without  more  of  God  in  me  ;  1  feej 
alhamed  and  guilty  before  God.  O,  I  fee,  the  law 
Tsfpiritualy  but  I  am  carnal !  I  do  not,  I  cannot  liv? 
to  God.  O  for  holinefs  !  O  for  more  of  God  in  my 
foul  !  O  this  pleafing  pain  !  It  makes  my  foul  prefs 
after  God ;  the  language  of  it  is,  Thenjhall  I  he  fatis- 
Jiedy  when  1  awake  in  God^s  likenefs^  Pfal".  xvii.  ult.  but 
never,  never  before  ;  and  confequently  I  am  engaged 
to  prefs  toward  the  marky  day  by  day.  O  that  I  may 
feel  this  continual  hunger,"  andnot  be  retarded,  but 
rather  animated  by  every  clufler  from  Canaan,  to 
reach  forvvard  in  the  narrow  way,  for  the  full  enjoy- 
ment and  poffeffion  of  the  heavenly  inheritance.  Q 
that  I  may  never  loiter  in  my  heavenly  journey. 

[Thefe  infatiable  defires  after  God  and  holinefs^ 
continued  the  two  next  days,  with  a  great  fenfe  of 
his  own  exceeding  unworthiriefs,  and  the  nothing- 
nefsof  the  things  of  thrs  vt'orld.] 

Lord's  Day^  November  7.— [At  Millingtpn.]  It 
feemed  as  if  fuch  an  unholy  wretch  as  I  never 
could  arrive  at  that  bleffednefs,  to  be  holy,  as  God  is 
holy.  At  noon,  I  longed  for  fandification,  and  con- 
formity to  Gqd.  6,  that  is  the  all,  the  ail  !  The 
Lord  help  me  to  prefs  after  God  forever. 

Monday,  November  8. — Towards  right,  enjoyed 
much  fweetncfs  in  fecret  prayer,  fo  that  my  foul 
longed  for  an  arrival  in  the  heavenly  country,  the 
bleSed  paradife  of  God.  Through  divine goodnefs, 
1  have  fcarce  feen  the  day,  for  two  months,  but  death 
has  looked  fo  pleafant  to  me^dt  one  tiirie  or  other  of 
the  day,  that  1  could  have  rejoiced  the  prefent  fliould 
be  my  laft,  notwithftanding  my  preffing  inward 
trials  and  conflidls :  And  I  trufl,  the  Lord  will  final- 
ly 


Mr.   da  VI  D -BR  a  I  nerd.        71 

ly  make  me  a  conqueror^  and  more  thanfo  ;  that  I 
fliall  be  able  to  ufe  that  triumphant  language,  O  deaths 
where  is  thy  Jiing  I  And,  O  grave y  'UL'hereisthyviBory  ! 

[Within  the  next  ten  days,  the  following  things 
are  expreffed ;  Longing  and  wreftling  to  be  holy 
and  to  live  to  God  j  a  defire  that  every  fingle 
thought  might  be  for  God  ;  feeling  guilty,  that  his 
thoughts  were  no  more  fwallowed  up  in  God  ;  fweet 
folemnity  and  calmnefs  of  mind,  fubmiilion  and  re- 
fignation  to  God,  great' weanednefs  from  the  world, 
abafement  in  the  dufl,  grief  at  fbme  vain  converfa- 
tionthat  was  obferved,  fweetnefs  from  time  to  time 
in  fecret  prayer,  and  inconverfing  and  praying  with 
chriflian  friends.  And  every  day  he  appears  to  have 
been  greatly  engaged  in  the  great  bufinefs  of  religion 
and  living  to  God,  without  interruption.] 

Friday,  November  19. — [At  New-Haven.]  Receiv- 
ed a  letter  from  the  reverend  Mr.  Pcmberton,  of 
New-York,  deliring  mefpeedily  togodown  thither, 
and  confult  about  the  Indian  affairs  in  thofe  parts, 
and  to  meet  certain  gentlemen  there,  that  were  en- 
trufted  with  thofe  affairs  :  My  mind  was  inftantly 
feized  with  concern  ;  fo  I  retired  with  two  or  three 
chriflian  friends  and  prayed ;  and  indeed  it  was  a 
fweet  time  with  me  ;  1  was  enabled  to  leave  myfelf 
and  all  my  concerns  with  God  ;  and  taking  leave 
bf  friends,  I  rode  to  Ripton,  and  was  comforted  in 
an  opportunity  to  fee  and  converfe  with  dear  Mr. 
Mills. 

[In  the  four  next  following  days,  he  was  fome- 
times  opprelfed  with  the  weight  of  that  great  affair, 
about  which  Mr.  Pembcrton  had  written  to  him  ; 
but  was  enabled  from  time  to  time  tq  caft  his  burden 
on  the  Lord,  and  to  commit  himfelf  and  all  his  con- 
cerns to  him  :  And  he  continued  ftill  in  a  fenfe  of 
the  excellency  of  holinefs,  and  longings  after  it,  and 
earneil  defires  of  the  advancement  of  Chri{l*s  king- 

E  4  doin 


7'i  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

dom  in  the  world  ;  and  bad  from  time  to  time  fweet 
comfort  in  meditation  and  prayer.] 

Wednefday,  November  24. — Came  to  New- York  ; 
felt  ftill  much  concerned  about  the  importance  of 
my  bufinefs  ;  put  up  many  earnelt  requelfs  to  God 
for  his  help  and  direction  ;  was  confufcd  with  the 
noife  and  tumult  of  the  city  ;  enjoyed  but  little  time 
^.Iqne  with  God  ;  but  m.y  ibul  longed  after  him. 
.■^hurfday,  November  25.— Spent  much  time  in 
prayer  and  fupplication  :  Was  examined  by  fomic 
gentlemen,  of  my  chriftian  experiences,  and  my  ac- 
quaii>tance  with  divinity,  and  fome  other  lludies,  in 
order  to  my  improvement  in  that  important  affair  of 
gofpellizing  the  heathen*:  Was  made  fcnfible  of 
my  great  ignorance  and  unfitnefs  for  publick  fcrvice; 
I  had  the  moft  abafing  thoughts  of  myfelf,  I  think, 
that  ever  I  had  j  I  thought  myfelf  the  worft  wretch 
that  ever  lived  :  It  hurt  me  and  pained  my  very 
heart,  that  any  body  fhould  Ihew  me  any  refpcd:  : 
Alas  I  me  thought,  how  fadly  they  are  deceived  in 
me  J  how  miferably  would  they  be  difappointed,  if 
they  knew  my  infide  !  O  my  heart  !  And  in  this 
tleprefled  condition,  I  was  forced  to  go  and  preach  to 
a  confiderable  alTembly,  before  fome  grave  and  learn- 
ed minifters  ;  but  felt  fuch  a  preiTurc  from  a  fenfe 
of  my  vilenefs,  ignorance,  and  unfitnefs  to  appear  in 
publick,  that  I  was  almoft  overcome  with  it ;  my 
foul  was  grieved  for  the  congregation,  that  they 
fhould  fit  there  to  hear  fuch  a  dead  dog  as  I  preach  ; 
I  thought  myfelf  infinitely  indebted  to  the  people, 
^nd  longed  that  God  would  reward  them  with  the 
rewards  of  his  grace.  I  fpent  much  of  the  evening 
alone, 

*  Thefe gentlemen  that  exnirjined  Mr.  Biaincrfl,  were  the  Corrcfponder>ts,  in  New- 
York,  New- Jerfey,  and  Pennfylvania,  of  the  honourahle  Society  in  Scotland  for  prop- 
agating Chriitian  Knowledge  ;  to  whom  was  co-nrnitted  the  'management  of  their 
alfairs  irjihofe  parts,  aad  who  weic  now  met  at  >>'ew-Y«)rk. 

PART 


Mr.  DAVID  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.       .73 
P     A     R     T       IV. 


From  the  time  of  his  examination  by  tke  Correfpondents 
■of  the  Societyfor  propagating  Chriflian  Knowledge^ 
and  being  appointed  their  Missionary,  to  his  firfi 
entrance  on  tloe  bufinefs  of  his  ?niJJion  among  the  In- 
dians at  Kaunaumeek, 

FRIDAY,  November  ^6.—''H2.i  fliil  a  fenfe  of  my 
great  vilcnefs,  and  endeavoured  as  much  as  I  could 
to  keep  alone.  O,  what  a  nothing,  what  duft  and 
afhcs  am  1  !  Enjoyed  fome  peace  and  comfort  ia 
spreading  my  complaints  before  the  God  of  all  grace. 

Saturday,  November  27. — Committed  my  foul  to 
God  with  lome  degree  of  comfort  ;  left  New-York 
about  nine  in  the  morning;  came  away  with  a  dif- 
trefiing  fenfe  ftill  of  my  unfpeakable  unworthinefs. 
Surely  I  may  well  love  all  my  brethren  ;  for  none  of 
them  all  is  fo  vile  as  I ;  whatever  they  do  outwardly, 
yet  it  feems'to  me  none  is  confcious  of  fo  much 
guilt  before  God.  O  my  kannefs,  my  barrennefs, 
my  carnality,  and  palt  bitternefs,  and  want  of  a  gof- 
pel  temper  !  Thefe  things  opprefs  my  foul.  Rode 
from  New-York,  thirty  miles,  to  White  Plains,  <lnd 
moil:  of  the  way  continued  lifting  up  my  heart  to 
God  for  mercy  and  purifying  grace  ;  and  ,fpent  the 
evening  much  dejedlcd  in  fpirit. 

[The  three  next  days,  he  continued  in  this  frame, 
in  a  great  fenfe  of  his  own  vilenefs,  with  an  evident 
mixture  of  melancholy,  in  no  fmall  degree  ;  but 
had  fome  intervals  of  comfort  and  Go^^s  fenfible 
prefence  with  him.] 

Wcdncfday^  December  i  .—My  foul  breathed  after 
God,  in  fweet  fpiritual  and  longing  defires  of  coii- 

formity 


74  T.H  E    LI  F  E    OF 

formity  to  him ;  my  foul  was  brought  to  reft  itfelf 
and  all  on  his  rich  grace,  and  felt  ftrcngth  and  en- 
couragement to  do  or  fuffer  any  thing  that  divine 
Providence  fhould  allot  me.  Rode  about  twenty 
miles,  from  Stratfield  to  Newton. 

[Within  the  fpace  of  the  next  nine  days,  he  werrt 
a  journey  from  Newton  to  Haddam,  his  native 
town;  and  after  flaying  there  fome  days,  returned 
^gain  into  the  weftern  part  of  Conncdlicut,  and 
came  to  Southbury.  In  his  account  of  the  frames 
and  exercifes  of  his  mind,  during  this  fpace  of  time, 
are  fuch  things  as  thefe  :  Frequent  turns  of  deje(ftion, 
a  fenfe  of  his.  vilenefs,  emptinefs,  and  unfathom- 
able abyfs  of  defperatc  wickednefs  in  his  heart,  at- 
tended with  a  convid;ion  that  he  had  never  feen  but 
little  of  it  ;  bitterly  mourning  over  his  barrennefs, 
being  greatly  grieved  that  he  could  not  live  to  God, 
to  whom  he  owed  his  all  ten  thoufand  times  ;  cry- 
ing out.  My  leannefs,  my  leannefs  !  a  fenfe  of  the 
meetnefs  and  fuitablenefs  of  his  lying  in  the  duft 
beneath  God's  feet  j  fervency  and  ardour  in  prayer ; 
longing  to  live  to  God,  and  being  afflidted  with 
fome  impertinent  trifling  con verfation  that  he  heard, 
but  enjoying  fweetnefsin  chriftian  converfation.] 

Saturday y  December  ii. — Converfed  with  a  dear 
friend,  to  whom  I  had  thought  of  giving  a  liberal 
education,  and  being  at  the  whole  charge  of  it,  that 
he  might  be  fitted  for  the  gofpel  miniflry*.  I  ac- 
quainted him  with  my  thoughts  in  that  matter,  and 

fo 

*  Mr.  Brainerd  having  now  undertaken  the  bufmefs  of  a  Miflionary  to  the  Indi- 
ans, and  expefting  in  a  little  time  to  leave  his  native  country,  to  go  among  the  Sav- 
ages, into  the  wildernefs,  far  didar^t,  and  fpend  the  remainder  of  his  lifearnong  them, 
and  having  fome  eftaie  left  him  by  his  father,  and  thinking  he  fliould  have  no  oc- 
cafion  for  it  amon;:;  them,  (though  afterwards  he  told  me  he  Found  himfelf  miftaken) 
he  fet  himfelf  to  think  which  way  he  might  Ipend  it  molt  to  the  glory  of  God  ;  and 
no  way  prefentio^  to  his  thoughts,  wherein  he  could  do  more  good  wuh  it,  than 
by  being  at  the  charge  of  educating  fome  youn^  perfon  for  jtlu;  miniUry,  that  ap- 
peared  to  be  of  good  abilities  and  well  difpofcd,  he  pitched  upon  this  ptrfon  here 
fpokcn  of,  to  this  end  :  Who  accordingly  was  foon  put  to  learning  ;  and  Mr.  Brai- 
nerd continued  to  be  at  the  charge  of  his  education  from  year  to  year  fo  long  as  he 
(Mr-  Brainerd)  Hved,  which  was  until  this  young  man  was  carried  through  his  ihiid 
year  in  college. 


Mr.   DAVID   BRA  I  NERD        75 

fo  left  him  to  confider  of  it,  until  I  iliould  fee  hi.m 
again.  Then  I  rode  to  Bethlehem^  and  fo  came  to 
Mr.  Bellamy's  lodgings  ;  fpent  the  evening  with 
jiim  in  fvveet  conycrfation  and  prayer  :  We  rec- 
'pmmended  the  important  concern  before  men- 
tioned (of  fending  my  friend  to  college)  unto  the 
God  of  all  grace.  Blefled  be  the  Lord  for  this  even- 
ing's opportunity  together. 

Lord's  D.iy,  December  12. — I  felt,  in  the  morning, 
as  if  I  had  little  or  no  power  either  to  pray  or  preachy 
and  felt  a  diftrelling  need  of  divine  help  :  I  went  to 
meeting  trembling  ;  But  it  pleafed  God  to  allift  me 
in  prayer  and  fermon. ;  vl  think  my  foul  fcarce  ever 
penetrated  fo  Far  into  the  immaterial  vvorld,  in  any- 
one prayer  that  ever  I  made,  nor  were  my  devotions 
ever  fo  much  refined,  and  free  from  grofs  Concep- 
tions, and  imaginations  framed  from  beholding  ma- 
terial objects.  I  preached  with  fome  fvveetnefs, 
fromMatth,  vi.  Z^>  But  feek  ye  Jit /i,  &ic.  And  in 
the  afternoon  from  Rom.  xv^30.  Andnoiv  I befeech 
youy  brethren^  5cc.  There  was  much  afFedtion  in 
the  affembly.  This  has  been  a  fvveet  Sabbath  to  me  : 
And  bleffed  be  God,  I  have  reafon  to  think  that  my 
religion  has  become  more  refined  and  fpiritual,  by 
means  of  my  late  inward  conflids.  Amen  !  May 
I  always  be  willing  that  God  Ihould  ufe  his  own 
methods  with  me. 

Monday,  December  i"-!,. — Joined  in  prayer  with  Mr. 
Bellamy  ;  and  found  fweetnefs  and  compofure  in 
)arting  with  him,  who  went  a  journey.  'Enjoyed 
iome  fweetnefs  through  the  day,  and  juft  at  night 
rode  down  to  Woodbury. 

Tuefdr.y,  December  14. — Some  perplexity  bung  on 
my  mind  :  Was  diftrelTcd  laft  night  and  this  morn- 
ing for  the  intereft  of  Zion,  efpecially  on  account 
of  the  falfe  appearances  of  religion,  that  do  but  rath- 
<?r  breed    confuiion,  efpecially  m    forne  places.     I 

cried 


Fo 


76  The    L  I  t  E    o  f 

cried  to  God  fbrhd'p,  to  enable 'me  to^beartfeTlfmon^ 
againftthofe  things,  which  inllead  of  promoting,  do 
but  hinder  the  progrefs  of  vital  piety.  In  the  afteri* 
noon,  rode  down  to  Southbury,  and  converfed^agairt 
with  my  friend  about  the  important  affair  of  his 
following  the  work  of  the  miniftry  ;  and  he  appear- 
ed much  inclined  to  devote  himfelf  to  that  work,  if 
God  fhould  fucceed  his  attempts  to  qualify  himfelf 
for  fo  great  a  work.  In  the  evening,  I  preached 
from  I  Theff.  iv.  8.  and  endeavoured,  though 
with  tendcrnefs,  to  undermine  falfe  religion.  The 
Lord  gave  me  fome  alfiftance ;  but,  however,  I  feemed 
fo  vile,  I  was  alhamed  to  be  feen  when  I  came  out  of 
the  meeting  houfe.  ,    *  ' 

■  Wedncfday^  December  \^. — Enjoyed  for^efh in g  of 
God  to  day,  both  in  fecret  and  focial  prayer;  but 
was  fenfiblc  of  much  barrenriefs,-and  defe<fti'n  duty, 
as  well  as  my  inability  to  help  myfelf  for  the  time 
to  come,  or  to  perform  the  work  and  bufinefs  I  have 
to  do.  Afterwards,  felt  much  of  the  fweetnefs  of 
religion,  and  the  tendernefs  of  the  gofpel  temper  ; 
was  far  from  bitternefs,  and  found  a  dear  love  to  all 
mankind, and  was afraidoffcarcelyanythinglb much 
as  left  fome  motion  of  anger  or  refentment  fliould 
fome  time  or  other  creep  into  my  heart.  Had  fome 
comforting  foul  refrefhing  difcourfe  with  fome  dear 
friends,  jufl  as  we  took  our  leave  of  each  other,  and 
fuppofed  it  might  be  likely  we  fhould  not  meet  again 
until  we  came  to  the  eternal  world*.  But  I  doubt 
not,  through  grace,  but  that  fome  of  us  lliall  have  a 
happy  meeting  there,  and  blefs  God  for  this  feafon, 
as  well  as  many  others.     Amen. 

Tburfdny, 

*  It  had  bten  determined  by  the  Comminioners,  who  employed  Mr.  Brainerd  as 
a  M»iri'>nary,  that  he  f>->ou}d  go  <*»  foon  as  might  be  conveniently,  lo  tlie  Indians  liv- 
ing nearihe  Forks  of  Delaware  river  in  Pennfylvania,  ;iiid  the  Indians  on  Sufqucliau- 
nah  river  ;  which  being  far  ofl',  where  he  would  be  cxpofed  to  many  liaidlhips  and 
danger*  ;  this  wa»  the  occaiioc  of  his  taking  leave  of  his  frknUs  in  this  maancj. 


Mr.   DAVID  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.       77. 

Thurfday,  December  1 6.— Rode  down  to  Derby  ; 
bad  f'ome  Tweet  thoughts  on  the  road  :  My  thoughts 
were  very  clear,  efpecially  on  the  effence  of  our  fal- 
vation  by  Chrift,  from  thofe  words,  Thou  Jhalt  calV 
his  name  Jefus^  &c. 

Friday,  December  17.— Spent  much  time  in  fwcet 
converfation  on  fpiritual  things  with  dear  Mr.  Hum- 
phreys. Rode  to  Ripton  ;  fpent  fome  time  in 
prayer  with  dear  chriftian  friends. 

Saturday,  December  18. — Spent  much  time  in 
prayer  in  the  woods :  Seemed  raifed  above  the  things 
of  the  world  :  My  foul  was  flrong  in  the  Lord  of 
hofts  :  But  was  fenfible  of  great  barrennefs. 

hordes  Day,  December  19. — At  the  facrament  of 
the  Lord*s  fupper,  feemed  ftrong  in  the  Lord ;  and 
the  world  with  all  its  frowns  and  flatteries  in  a  great 
meafuredifappeared,  fo  that  my  foul  had  nothing  to 
do  with  them  ;  and  I  felt  a  difpodtion  to  be  wholly 
and  forever  the  Lord*s.  In  the  evening,  enjoyed 
fomething  of  the  divine  prefence ;  had  a  humbling 
fenfe  of  my  vilenefs,  barrennefs  and  /infulnefs.  O, 
it  wounded  me,  to  think  of  the  mi  {improvement  of 
time  !  God  be  jnerciful  to  me  afinner. 

Monday,  December  50. — Spent  this  day  in  prayer, 
reading,  and  writing;  and  enjoyed  fome  afliftance, 
efpecially  in  correcting  fome  thoughts  on  a  certain 
fubjed: ;  but  had  a  mournful  fenfe  of  my  barrennefs. 
Tuefday,  December  2i. — Had  a  fenfe  of  my  infuffi- 
cicncy  for  any  publick  work  and  bufinefs,  as  well  as 
to  live  to  God.     1  rode  over  to  Derby,  and  preached 
'there  :  It  pleafcd  God  to  give  me  very  fvv'eet  alliil- 
anceand  enlargement,  and  to  enable  me  tofpeak  with 
jafoft  and  tender  power  and  energy.     We  had  after- 
[wirds  a  comfortable  evening  in  fmging  and  prayer  :.• 
[God  enabled  me  to  pray  with   as  much  fpiritualit  f 
pnd  fwectnefs  as  I  have  done  for  fome  time  :    My 
mind  feemed  to  be  unclothed  of  fenfe  and  imagi/sa- 

tio/n, 


78  TheLIFEof 

tion,  and  was  in  a  meafiire  let  into  the  immaterial 
world  of  fpirits.  This  day  and  evening  was,  I  truft, 
through  infinite  goodnefs,  made  very  profitable  to  a 
number  of  us,  to  advance  our  fouls  in  holinefs  and  con- 
formity to  God  :  The  glory  be  to  him  forever.  Amen. 
How  blelfed  it  is  to  grow  more  and  more  like  God  ! 

Wednefday,  December  22. — Enjoyed  fome  affiftancc 
in  preaching  at  Ripton  ;  but  my  foul  mourned  with- 
in me  for  my  barrennefs. 

Thurfday^  'December  1'}). — Enjoyed,  I  truft,  fome- 
thing  of  God  this  morning  in  fecret.  O  how  di- 
vinely fweet  it  is  to  come  into  the  fecret  of  his  pref- 
encc,  and  abide  in  his  pavilHon  !  Took  an  affection- 
ate leave  of  friends,  not  expe(5ting  to  fee  them  again 
for  a  very  confiderable  time,  if  ever  in  this  world. 
Rode  with  Mr.  Humphreys  to  his  houfe  at  Derby  ; 
fpent  the  time  in  fweet  converfation  ;  my  foul  was 
rcfrefhed  and  fweetly  melted  with  divine  things.  O 
that  I  was  always  confecrated  to  God.  Near  night, 
I  rode  to  New-Haven,  and  there  enjoyed  fome  fweet- 
nefs  in  prayer  and  converfation,  with  fome  dear  chrif- 
tian  friends :  My  mind  was  fweetly  ferious  and  com- 
pofed  :  But  alas,  I  too  much  loft  the  fenfe  of  divine 
things  I 

[He  continued  much  in  the  fame  frame  of  mind, 
and  in  like  exercifes,  the  two  following  days.] 

Lord's  Day^  December  26. — Felt  much  fwcetnefs 
and  tendernefs  in  prayer  j  efpecially  my  whole  foul 
feemed  to  love  my  worft  enemies,  and  was  enabled 
to  pray  for  thofe  that  are  ftrangers  and  enemies  to 
"God  with  a  great  degree  of  foftnefs  and  pathetick 
fervour'.  In  the  evening,  rode  from  New- Haven  to 
Branford,  after  I  had  kneeled  down  and  prayed  with 
a  number  of  dear  chriftian  friends  in  a  very  retired 
place  in  the  woods,  and  fo  parted. 

Monday y  Dccc?nber  27. — Enjoyed  a  precious  feafon 
indeed  j  had  a  fweet  melting  fcnfc  oi  divine  things, 
■      ■  .  of 


Mr.    da  VID_  BR  AIN^RD.       79 

of  the  pure  fpirituality  of  the  religion  of  Chrift  Jefus . 
In  the  evening,  I  preached  fromMatth.  vi.  33.  with 
much  freedom,  and  fweet  power  and  pungency  : 
The  prefence  of  God  attended  our  meeting.  O  the 
fweetnefs,  the  tendernefs  I  felt  in  my  foul  !  If  ever 
I  felt  the  temper  of  Chrift,  I  had  fome  fenfc  of  it 
now.  BlcfTed  be  my  God,  I  have  feldom  enjoyed  a 
more  comfortable  and  profitable  day  than  this.  O 
that  I  could  fpend  all  my  time  for  God. 

Tuefdayy  December  28.— Rode  from  Branford  to 
Haddam.  In  the  morning,  my  clearnefs  and  fweet- 
nefs in  divine  things  continued  j  but  afterwards  my 
fpiritual  life  fenfibly  declined. 

[The  next  twelve  days,  he  was  for  the  moft  part 
extremely  deje6ted,difcouraged  and  diftreffed.and  was 
evidently  very  much  under  the  power  of  melancholy; 
and  there  are  from  day  today  moft  bitter  complaints 
of  exceeding  vilenefs,  ignorance,  corruption,  an  amaz- 
ing Load  of  guilt,  unworthinefs  to  creep  on  God*s 
earth,  everlafting  ufeleflhefs,  fitnefs  for  nothing,  &c. 
and  fometimes  expreftions  even  of  horror  at  the 
thoughts  of  ever  preaching  again.  But  yet  in  this 
time  of  great  dejedion,  he  fpeaks  of  feveral  intervals 
of  divine  help  and  comfort.] 

[The  three  next  days,  which  were  fpent  at  Hebron 
and  the  Crank  (a  parifti  in  Lebanon)  he  had  relief, 
and  enjoyed  confiderable  comfort.] 

Friday^  ^a7iuary  14,  1742,3. — My  fpiritual  con- 
flidls  to  day  were  unfpeakably  dreadful,  heavier 
than  the  mountains  and  overflowing  floods  :  Ifeem- 
ed  inclofed,  as  it  were  in  hell  itfelf  !  I  was  deprived 
of  all  fenfe  of  God ,  even  of  the  being  of  a  God  ;  and 
that  was  my  mifery  !  I  had  no  awful  apprehenfions 
of  God  as  angry.  This  was  diftrefs,  the  neareft  akin 
to  the  damned *s  torments,  that  I  ever  endured :  Their 
torment,  1  am  fure,  will  confift  much  in  a  privation 
of  God,  and  confcquently  gf  all  good.     This  taught 

me 


8o  ¥  It  E    t  I  I^  E    o  F 

me  the  abfolute  dependence  ofa  creature  upon  Gcd 
the  Creator,  for  every  crumb  of  happinefs  it  e^njoys*  ||] 
O  !  I  feel  that  if  there  is  no  God,  though  I  might 
live  forever  here,  and  enjoy  not  only  this,  but  all  oth-  , 
er  worlds,  I  fhould  be  ten  thoufand  times  more  mif-  f  | 
erable  than  a  toad  !  My  foul  was  in  fuch  anguifh  I 
could  not  eat,  but  felt  as  I  fuppofed  a  poor  wretch 
would  that  is  juft  going  to  the  place  of  execution.  I 
was  almofl  fwallowed  up  with  anguifli,  when  I  favv 
people  gathering  together  to  hear  me  preach.  How- 
ever, I  went  in  that  diftrefs  to  the  houfe  of  God,  and 
found  not  much  relief  in  the  firft  prayer  :  It  feemed 
as  if  God  would  let  loofe  the  people  upon  me,  nor 
were  the  thoughts  of  death  diflrefling  to  me,  like  my 
own  vilenefs.  But  afterwards,  in  my  difcourfe  from 
Deut.  viii.  1.  God  was  pleafed  to  give  me  fome  free- 
dom and  enlargement,  fome  power  and  fpirituality; 
and  I  fpent  the  evening  fomething  comfortably. 

[The  two  next  days,  his  comfort  continues,  and 
he  feems  to  enjoy  an  almofl  continual  fweetnefs  of 
foul  in  the  duties  and  exercifes  of  religion  and  chrif- 
tian  converfation.  On  Monday  was  a  return  of  the 
gloom  he  had  been  under  the  Friday  before.  He  rode 
to  Coventry  this  day,  and  the  latter  part  of  the  day, 
had  more  freedom.  On  I'ucfday  he  rode  to  Canter- 
bury, and  continued  more  comfortable.] 

Wednefday,  'January  19. — [At  Canterbury.]  In  the 
afternoon  preached  the  led:ure  at  the  meeting  houfe  : 
Felt  fome  tendernefs,  and  fomething  of  the  gofpel 
temper  :  Exhorted  the  people  to  love  one  another, 
and  not  fet  up  their  own  frames  as  a  ftandard  to  try 
all  their  brethren  by.  But  was  much  prejfTed,  moft 
of  the  day,  with  a  fenfe  of  my  own  badnefs,  inward 
impurity,  and  unfpeakable  corruption.  Spent  the 
evening  in  loving  chriftian  converfation. 

Thurf day,  January  20. — Rode  to  my  brofher'^s  houfe 
between  Norwich  ^nd  Lebanon-;  and  preached  irt 

the 


Mr.    DAVID   BRA  INERD.        Si 

the  evening  to  a  number  of  people  :  Enjoyed  neithei 
freedom  nor  fpirituality  ;  but  faw  myfdf  exceeding 
unworthy. 

Friday,  January  2i. — Had  great  inward  conflidls ; 
enjoyed  but  little  comfort.  Went  to  fee  Mr.  Will- 
iams of  Lebanon,  and  fpentfeveral  hours  with  him  ; 
and  was  greatly  delighted  with  his  ferious,  deliberate 
and  impartial  way  of  difcourfe  about  religion. 

[The  next  day,  he  was  much  deje^ed.] 

Lonfs  Day,  January  23. — Scarce  ever  felt  myfelf 
fo  unfit  to  exifl,  as  now  :  I  faw,  I  was  not  worthy 
of  a  place  among  the  Indians,  where  I  am  going,  if 
God  perm.it  :  I  thought  I  fhould  beafhamedto  look 
them  in  the  face',  and  much  more  to  have  any  refpe<5t 
Ihewn  me  there.  Indeed  I  felt  myfelf  banifhed  frorii 
the  earth,  as  if  all  places  were  too  good  for  fuch  a 
\Vretch  as  I  :  I  thought  1  fhould  be  afhamed  to  go 
among  the  very  favages  of  Africa  :  I  appeared  to 
myfelf  a  creature  fit  for  nothing,  neither  heaven  nor 
earth.  None  knows,  but  thofe  that  feel  it,  what  the 
foul  endures  that  is  fenfibly  fliut  out  from  the  pref- 
ence  of  God  :  Alas,  it  is  more  bitter  than  death  ! 

[On  Monday  he  rode  to  Stoningtown,  Mr.  Fifh's 
parifh.  On  Tuefday  he  exprcdes  confiderable  de- 
grees of  fpiritual  comfort  and  refrefliment.] 

Wedneflay,  January  16. — Preached  to  a  pretty  large 
afTembly  at  Mr.  Filh*s  meeting  houfe  :  Infifted 
on  humility,  and  fteadfaflncfs  in  keeping  God*s  com- 
mands, and  that  through  humility  we  Ihould  prefer 
one  another  in  love,  and  not  make  our  own  frames 
the  rule  by  whic!\  we  judge  others.  I  felt  fweetly 
calm,  and  full  of  brotherly  love;  and  never  more 
free  from  party  fpirit.  1  hope  fome  good  will  fol- 
low, that  chriftians  will  be  freed  from  falfe  joy,  and 
party  zeal,  and  cenfuring  one  another. 

[OnThurrday.afterconfiderablc  time  fpent  in  prayer 
andchrillianconveifation,  he  rode  to  New- London.] 

F  Friday^ 


S$'         Q  >i  JX  Jfi(B.  JL^  ¥JE    o  F 

IjrFn^'Zjy?  y^m<ar}'i2.-T-HQYc.  I  found  fomefallen  in- 
Ip  feme  v^eXtt^yAgaocePv  too  much  carried,  away- vvith: 
a  falfe  zeal,  an(5  bitternefs.     O,  the  want  of  a  gof-- 
pel'jtera^,^ t;  i.s   greatly  (o  ^be-Jatnented.  "Spent  ihe 
evening  irt  conyerfing  with   fpnie  about  fonle  points- 
of  condud  in  both.,  fniniileis  land  private  chriftians,;- 
Iavi<t2di4  r/ct  agree  ;\vith,th^rr>  ;  God  had-  not  taught 
them  'usji'k  MKW'A md thoj^m, ^<^\  feq ©f ^  kirjd  d i f^pfitio^^ 
toward  m:^  feints-   ■  :    .a:.  .::./.  e:i  "•-  ■.  xj.-m  j:   ri 
i^i;Ql?rSatu^ida'>^  he  xod^-to^Eaflt'H^ddaifTljLartd^r^^^ 
the'three  following  days  there  ;:jind  in  that  fpace  of 
tim&;he  fpeaks  of  his  feeling  weanednefs  from  the 
world,  a  fenfe'of  the  nearnefsbf  eternity,  fpecial  af- 
fiftartce  in  praying  for  the  enl:argeri.ien.t  of  Ghrift's 
kingdom,  times  of  fpi  ritual  comfort,,  6ccv] 
LJf^e.dnefdayy:.Fc6i'uary,i.—^it3iCht(\  my   farewell 
fE^mon,  lafl  night,  at  the  houfepf  an  aged  man,  who 
had  been  unable  to  attend  on  the  p^blick  worfliip 
for  fome  time  -and  this  morning,  fpcnt  the  time  in. 
prayex, ^Imoft  "wherever  I.  went  ;   and  having  taken 
leave  of  friedds*  I  fet  out  on  my  journey  towards  the 
Indians.;,  though  by •  the.  way  I  was  to  fpend/ome 
time  at  Eaft- Hampton  oh  Long-Ifland,  by  the  leave 
of  the. commifiioners  who  employed  me  in  tlie  In- 
dian aflfa^*  j  and  being  accompanied  by  a  meffenger; 
:&TpiTi  Eaft-Hampton,   we  travelled   to  Lyn^e;  -^"On 
the  road  I    felt  an  uncommon   prelTurc  of  mind  :  I 
feemed  to  flruggle  hard  for  fome  plcal'ure  in  fome-, 
thing  herelnelow,  and  feemed  loth  to  give  up  all  for 
gone  J   but  then  law  myfelf  evidently  throwing  my- 
felf  into  all  hardlhips  and  dirtrefles  in  my  prefent 
undertaking  {'\  thought  it  would  be  lefs  difficult  to 
lie  down  in  the  grave.:  But  yet  J  chofe  to  go,  rather 
t-han  ftay.     Came  to  Lyme,  that  rvight. 

,_  r     ;   •■ -r;-:,.:,,  [He  ^ 

•;^*  Thc,reafon  why/lhe  Commifiioners  or  Corjefpor.denis  did  not  order  Mr.  Brai- 
nercHogo  inuTicdiattIyT.o  the  Indians,  and  enter  on  liis  biifincfs  as  a  Miffionary  to 
|hern,  was  (hat  tliev-infer -was  not  judged  to  be  a  convenient  feafon  for  hun  fird  to 
go  out  into  the  wildcruefs,  and  enter  on  the  difiicuitics  and  hardlhips  he  mud  there 
Lie  txpofed  to. 


Mr.   DAVID    BRAINERD.        83 

[He  waited  the  two  next  days  for  a  paffage  over 
the  found,  and  fpent  much  of  the  time  in  inward  con-, 
flidts  and  dejedlion,  but  had  fome  comfort.] 

[On  Saturday,  he  crolTed  the  found,  landed  at  Oyf- 
ter- Ponds  on  Long-Ifland,  and  travelled  from  thence 
to  Eaft-Hampton.  And  the  feven  following  days 
he  fpent  there,  for  the  mofi:  part,  under  extreme  de- 
jediion  and  gloominefs  of  mind,  with  great  com- 
plaints of  darknefs,  ignorance,  &c.  Yet  his  heart 
appears  to  have  been  conl-lantly  engaged  in  the  great 
bufinefs  of  religion,  much  concerned  for  the  intereft 
of  religion  in  Eaft-Hampton,  and  praying  and  la- 
bouring much  for  it.] 

Saturday,  February  I'Z. — Enjoyed  a  little  more 
comfort,  was  enabled  to  meditate  with  fome  compo- 
fure  of  mind ;  and  efpecially  in  the  evening,  found 
my  foul  more  refrelhed  in  prayer,  than  at  any  time 
of  late  ;  my  foul  feemed  to  take  holdofGod^sJirength^ 
and  was  comforted  with  his  confolations.  O  how 
fweet  are  fome  glimpfes  of  divine  glory  !  How 
ftrengthening  and  quickening  ! 

Lord*s  Day,  February  13.— At  noon,  under  a  great 
degree  of  difcouragement  ;  knew  not  how  it  was 
pollible  for  me  to  preach  in  the  afternoon  ;  was  ready 
to  give  up  all  for  gone  ;  but  God  was  pleafed  to  af- 
fift  me  in  fome  meafure.  In  the  evening,  my  heart 
was  fweetly  drawn  out  after  God,  and  devoted  io 
him. 

[The  next  day,  he  had  comfort  and  dejection  in- 
termingled.] 

Tuefday,  February  15.— Early  in  the  day  I  felt 
fome  comfort,  afterwards  I  walked  into  a  neighbour- 
ing grove,  and  felt  more  as  a  ftranger  on  earth,  I 
think,  than  ever  before  ;  dead  to  any  of  the  enjoy- 
ments of  the  world  as  if  I  had  been  dead  in  a  nat- 
ural fenfe.  In  the  evening,  had  divine  fvveetnefs  in 
fecret  duty  :  God  was  then  my  portion,  and  my  foul 
F  %  rofc 


^  TheLIFEof 

rofe  above  thofe  deep  "iraters,  into  which  I  have  funk 
fo  low  of  late:  My  foul  then  cried  for  Zion,  and 
had  fweetnefs  in  fo  doing. 

[This  fweet  frame  continued  the  next  morning ; 
but  afterwards  his  inward  diflrefs  returned.] 

Thurfday^  February  17. — In  the  morning,  found 
myfelf  fomething  comfortable,  and  refted  on  God  in 
fome  meafure.  Preached  this  day  at  a  little  village 
belonging  to  Eaft-Hampton  ;  and  God  was  pleaf- 
ed  to  give  me  his  gracious  prefence  and  afliftance,  fo 
that  I  fpake  with  freedom,  boldnefs  and  fome  pow- 
er. In  the  evening,  fpent  fome  time  with  a  dear 
chriftian  friend  ;  felt  fweetly  ferious,  as  on  the  brink 
of  eternity  ;  my  foul  enjoyed  fweetnefs  in  lively  ap- 
prehenfions  of  {landing  before  the  glorious  God  : 
Prayed  with  my  dear  friend  with  fweetnefs,  anddif- 
courfed  with  utmoft  folemnity.  And  truly  it  was  a 
little  emblem  of  heaven  itfelf  I  find  my  foul  is 
more  refined  and  weaned  from  a  dependence  on  my 
frames  and  fpiritual  feelings. 

Friday^  February  18. — Felt  fomething  fweetly  moft 
of  the  day,  and  found  accefs  to  the  throne  of 
grace,  BlefTed  be  the  Lord  for  any  intervals  of  heav- 
enly delight  and  compofure,  while  I  am  engaged  in 
the  field  of  battle.  ()  that  I  might  be  ferious,  fol- 
emn,  and  always  vigilant,  while  in  an  evil  world. 
Had  fome  opportunity  alone  to  day,  and  found  fome 
freedom  in  ffudy.     O,  I  long  to  live  to  God. 

hordes  Day,  February  20. — Was  fomething  per- 
plexed on  account  of  my  carelcfTnefs  ;  I  thought  I 
could  not  be  fuitably  concerned  about  the  important 
work  of  the  day,  and  fo  was  rcfllefs  with  my  eafinefs. 
Was  exceeding  infirm  again  to  day  ;  but  the  Lord 
ftrengthencd  inc  both  in  the  outward  and  inward 
man,  fo  that  I  preached  with 'fome  life  and  fpirit- 
uality,  cfpccially  in  the  afternoon,  wherein  I  was 
enabled  to   Ipeak    clofely  againfl    fclfifh    religion, 

that 


Mr.   DAVID   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.        S5 

that  loves  Chrifl  for  his  benefits,  but  not  for  him- 
felf. 

[During  the  next  fortnight,  it  appears  that  he  for 
the  mod  part  enjoyed  much  fpiritual  peace  and  com- 
fort. In  his  Diary  for  this  fpace  of  time,  are  ex- 
preffed  fuch  things  as thefe  ;  mourning  over  indwell- 
ing fin,  and  unprofitablenefs ;  deadnefs  to  the  world ; 
longing  after  God  and  to  live  to  his  glory ;  heart 
melting  defires  after  his  eternal  home  ;  fixed  reliance 
on  God  for  his  help  ;  experience  of  much  divine  af- 
fiftance  both  in  the  private  and  publick  exercifes  of 
religion  ;  inward  flrength  ^nd  courage  in  the  fervice 
of  God  ;  very  frequent  refrelhment,  confolation  and 
divine  fweetnefs  in  meditation,  prayer,  preaching, 
and  chriftian  converfation.  And  it  appears  by  his 
account,  that  this  fpace  of  time  was  filled  up  with 
great  diligence  and  earneflnefs  in  ferving  God,  in 
ftudy,  prayer,  meditation,  preaching,  and  private  in- 
ftruiting  and  counfeling.] 

Monday,  March  7. — This  morning  when  I  arofc, 
I  found  my  heart  go  forth  after  God  in  longing  de- 
lires  of  conformity  to  him,  and  in  fecret  prayer 
found  myfelf  fvvcctly  quickened  and  drawn  out  in 
praifes  to  God  for  all  he  had  done  to  and  for  me, 
and  for  all  my  inward  trials  and  diftrefles  of  late  ; 
my  heart  afcribed  glory,  glory,  glory  to  the  blelfed 
God  !  And  bid  welcome  all  inward  diftrefs  agaiw, 
if  God  faw  meet  to  exercife  me  with  it  ;  time  ap- 
peared but  an  inch  long,  and  eternity  at  hand  ;  and 
i  thought  I  could  with  patience  and  cheerfulnefs 
bear  any  thing  for  the  caufe  of  God  :  For  1  faw  that 
a  moment  would  bring'  me  to  a  world  of  peace  and 
bleffednefs  ;  and  my  foul,  by  the  ftrength  of  the 
Lord,  role  far  above  this  lower  world,  and  all  the 
vain  amufements  and  frightful  difappointments  of 
it.  Afterwards,  was  vifited  by  fome  friends,  but 
loft  fome  fweetnefs  by  the  means.     After  that,  had 

Fj  fome 


86  TheLIFEof 

fome  fvveet  meditation  on  Gen.  v.  24.  And  Enoch 
walked  with  God,  &c.  This  was  a  comfortable  day 
to  my  foul. 

[The  next  day,  he  feems  to  have  continued  in  a 
confiderable  degree  of  fweetnefs  and  fervency  in  re- 
ligion.] 

Wednefdayy  March  9. — Endeavoured  to  commit 
myfelf  and  all  my  concerns  to  God.  Rode  fixteen 
Miles  to  Mantauk*,  and  had  fomeinvyard  fweetnefs 
on  the  road  ;  but  fomething  of  flatnefs  and  deadnefs 
after  I  came  there  and  had  i'een  the  Indians :  I  with- 
drew, and  endeavoured  to  pray,  but  found  myfelf 
awfully  deferted  and  left,  and  had  an  afflicting  lenfe 
of  my  vil^nefs  and  meannefs.  However,  1  went 
and  preached  from  Ifai.  liii.  10.  Had  fome  afTifl- 
ance  ;  and,  1  trufl,  fomething  of  the  divine  prefence 
was  among  us.  In  the  evening,  again  I  prayed  and 
exhorted  among  them,  after  having  had  a  feafon 
alone,  wherein  I  was  fo  prefTed  with  the  blacknefs 
of  my  nature,  that  I  thought  it  was  not  fit  for  me  to 
fpeak  fo  much  as  to  Indians. 

[The  next  day,  he  returned  to  Eaft- Hampton  j 
was  exceeding  infirm  in  body  through  the  remain- 
ing part  of  this  week  ;  but  fpeaks  of  aiiiflance  and 
enlargement  in  fti^dy  and  rehgious  exercifes,  and  of 
inward  fweetnefs  and  breathing  after  God.j 

Lord's  Day,  March  13. — At  noon,  I  thought  it 
impoffible  for  me  to  preach,  by  reafon  of  bodily 
weaknefs  and  inward  deadnefs  ;  and  in  the  iirft 
prayer,  was  fo  weak  that  I  could  hardly  Hand-'  but 
in  fermon,  God  flrengthenedme,  fothat  I  fpakencnr 
an  hour  and  half  with  fweet  freedom,  clearnefs  and 
fome  tender  power,  f^om  Gei>,  v.  24.  Jnd  Enoch 
walked  with  God.  I  was  fweetly  aflifted  to  infifr  en 
a  clofe  walk  with  Gody  and  to  leave  this  as  my  part- 
ing 

*  Mantauk  is  the  faftern  cape  or  end  of  Lorg-Ifland,  then  inliabited  chiefly  by 
Tndians. 


Mr.   DAVID   BRAINERD         87 

ing  advice  to  God's  people  h&XQ^^thaX^jkf^  Jhould 
ivalk  with  God.  May  theGod  of  all  grace  ftigceed 
my  poor  labours  in  this  place  !  r^      ■  ,         I    ' 

Monday  .March  14.— Irithe  morning,  was  very  bufy 
in'preparation  for  my  joyrney,  and  was  almoft  cou- 
tiniially  engaged  in  ejaculatory  prayer.  About  ten, 
took  leave  of  the  dear  people  of  Eaft-Hampton. 
My  heart  grieved  and  mourned,  and  rejoiced  at  the 
farpe  time  ;  rode  near  fifty  rniles  to  a  paft.of:Brook- 
Haven,  and  lodged  there,  and  had  refrefhing  cpnyer- 
fation  with  a  chriftian  friend. 

[In  two  days  more  he  reached  New-York  ;  but 
complains  of  much  defertion  and  deadnefs  on  the 
road.  He  flayed  one  day  in  New- York,  and  on 
Friday  went  to  Mr.  Dickinfon's  at  Elizabeth-Town, 
His  complaints  are  the  fame  as  on  the  two  preced- 
ing days.] 

Saturday,  March  19. — Was  bitterly  diftrcfTed  un- 
der a  fenfeof  my  ignorance,  darknefs  and  unworthi- 
nefs  ;  got  alone,  and  poured  out  my  complaint  to 
God  in  the  bitternefs  of  my  foul.  In  the  afternoon, 
rode  to  Newark,  and  had  fome  fweetnefs  in  conver- 
fation  with  Mr.  Burr,  and  in  praying  together.  O  \ 
bleifed  be  God  forever  and  ever,  for  any  enlivening 
and  quickening. 

Lord*s  Day,  March  20. — Preached  in  the  fore- 
noon :  God  gave  me  fome  afliilance  and  fweetnefs, 
and  enabled  me  to  fpeak  with  real  tendernefs,  love 
and  impartiality.  In  the  evening  preach-d  again  ; 
and  of  a  truth  God  was  pleafed  to  alFifl  a  poor  worm. 
Bleifed  be  God,  I  was  enabled  to  fpeak  with  life, 
power,  and  paffionate  defire  of  the  edification  of 
God*s  people,  and  with  fome  power  to  finncrs.  In 
the  evening,  I  felt  fomething  fpiritual  and  watchful, 
Icfl  mv  heart  (bould  by  any  means  be  drawn  avvay 
from  God.  O,  when  fliall  I  come  to  that  blefled 
world,  where  evety  power  of  my  foul  will  be  in- 

F4  ceH'antly 


83 


The    life    of 


celTantly  and  eternally  wound  up,  in  heavenly- 
employments  and  enjoyments,  to  the  higheft  de- 
gree ? 

[On  Monday  he  went  to  Woodbridge,  where  he 
fpeaks  of  his  being  with  a  number  of  minifters*  ; 
and  the  remainder  of  this  week  and  the  greater  part 
of  the  next  he  fpent  in  a  journey  to  Stockbridge.] 

•  Thefe  mioifter*  were  the  Correfpondentt,  who  now  met  at  Woodbridge,  and 
gave  Mr.  Brainerd  new  dire£lions,  and  inilead  of  fending  him  to  the  Indians  at  the 
Kork$  of  Delaware,  at  before  intended,  they  ordered  him  to  go  to  a  number  of  In* 
ilians,  at  Kaunaumeekf  a  place  in  thf  provipcc  of  New-York,  m  the  woods  between 
StQckbridge  and  Albany. 


I 


PART 


Mr.  DAVID  BRAIN  ERD.       89 

PART        V. 

From  his  fit jl  heglnning  to  i?\[iruB  the  Indians  at  Kau^ 
naufneekt  to  his  Ordination* 

FRIDAY,  April  1, 1743.— I  rode  to  Kaunaumeek. 
near  twenty  miles  from  Stockbridge,  where 
the  Indians  live,  with  whom  I  am  concerned,  and 
there  Iodised  on  a  little  heap  of  ftraw  :  Was  greatly 
exercifcd  with  inward  trials  and  diftreffes  all  day ; 
and  in  the  evening,  my  heart  was  funk,  and  I  feem- 
ed  to  have  no  God  to  go  to.  O  that  God  would 
help  me  I 

[The  next  five  days,  he  was  for  the  mofl  part  in 
a  dejedted  deprefled  ftate  of  mind,  and  fometimes 
extremely  fo.] 

Friday^  April  7. — Appeared  to  myfclf  exceeding 
ignorant,  weak,  helplefs,  and  unworthy,  and  alto- 
gether unequal  to  my  work.  It  feemed  to  me,  I 
fhould  never  do  any  fervice,  or  have  any  fuccefs 
among  the  Indians.  My  foul  was  weary  of  my 
life  :  I  longed  for  death  beyond  meafure.  When  I 
thought  of  any  godly  foul  departed,  my  foul  was 
ready  to  envy  him  his  privilege,  thinking,  O  when 
will  my  turn  come  I  Mufl  it  be  years  firfi:  !  But  I 
know  thofe  ardent  deiires  at  this  and  other  times, 
rofe  partly  from  want  of  refignation  to  God  under  all 
miferies  ;  and  fo  were  but  impatience.  Towards 
night  1  had,  I  think,  the  cxercife  of  faith  in  prayer, 
and  fome  afTiilance  in  writing.  O  that  God  would 
keep  me  near  him  ! 

Friday,  April  S. — Was  exceedingly  prcfTed  under 
a  fenfe  of  my  pride,  fclnd-inefs,  bitternefs,  and  party 
fpirit  in  times  paft,  while  I  attempted  to  promote  the 
caufcofGod:  It's  vile  nature  and  dreadful  confe- 

quences 


90  t  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

quences  appeared  in  fuch  odious  colours  to  me,  that 
my  very  heart  was  pained  :  I  faw  how  poor  fouls 
Itumbled  over  it  into  everlafling  deftrudiion,  that  1 
wasconftrained  to  make  that  prayer  in  the  bitternefs 
of,my  foul,  O  Lord,  deliver  7nefrom  blood~guiltihefs. 
I  faw  my  defert  of  hell  on  this  account.  My  foul 
was  full  of  inward  anguifh  and  fhame  before  God, 
that  I  had  fpent  fo  much  timein  cortverfation  tending 
only  to  promote  a  party  fpirit.  O,  I  faw  I  had  not 
fuitably  prized  mortification,  felf  denial,  refignation 
under  all  ad  verities,  meeknefs,  love,  candour,  and 
holinefs  of  heart  and  life  :  And  this  day  was  almoll: 
wholly  fpent  in  fuch  bitter  and  foul  afflid:ing  reflec- 
tions on  my  paft  frames  and  condud:.  Of  late  I 
have  thought  much  of  having  the  kingdom  of  Chrift 
advanced  in  the  world  ;  but  now  I  faw  I  had  enough 
40  do  within  mylelf.  The  Lord  be  merciful  to  me  a 
Ji?j?ter,  and  wafli  my  foul. 

Saturday^  April  (). — Remained  much  in  the  fame 
ftate  as  yeflerday  ;  excepting  that  the  fenle  of  my 
vilenefs  was  not  fo  quick  and  acute.  ..;;)-:: 

Lord^s  Dayy  April  i  o. — Rofe  early  in  the  morning, 
and  walked  out,  and  Ipent  considerable  time  in  tlife 
woods,  in  prayer  and  meditation.  Preached  to  the  In- 
diansboth  forenoon  and  afternoon.  They  behaved  fo- 
berlyin  general :  Two  or  three  in  particular  appeared 
under  fome  religious  concern;  with  whom  I  difcourf- 
ed  privately ;  and  one  told  me,  her  heart  had  cried, 
ever  fince  fhe  heard  me  preach  firfl:. 
;  [The  two  next  days  he  complains  of  much  defer- 
tion,  and  manifefts  a  great  fenfc  of  guilt  and  flupid*. 
ity.] 

Wednefday,  April  13^ — My  heart  was  overvv helm- 
ed within  me  :  1  verily  thought  I  was  the -meanefl:, 
vileft,mofthelplcfs,  guilty,  ignorant,  benighted  crea;- 
ture  living.  And  yet  I  knew  what  God  had  done 
for  my  foul,  at  the  fame  time.     Though  4bi^ttimfes 

I 


M  R.   D  A  V  I  D  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.       9» 

I  was  afTaulted  with  damping  doubts  and  fears, 
whether  it  was  poiTible  for  fuch  a  wretch  as  I  to  be 
in  aftate  of  grace. 

Saturday,  ^^r// 1 6.— Still  in  the  depths  ot  diftrefs. 
In  the  afternoon,  preached  to  my  people  j  but  was 
more  difcouraged  with  them  than  before  ;  feared 
that  nothing  would  ever  be  done  for  them  to  any 
happy  effect.  I  retired  and  poured  out  my  foul  to 
God  for  mercy  ;  but  without  any  fenfihle  relief. — 
Soon  after  came  an  Irilhman  and  a  Dutchman,  with 
a  defign,  as  they  faid,  to  hear  me  preach  the  next  day  j 
but  none  can  tell  how  I  felt  to  hear  their  profane 
talk.  O,  I  longed  that  fome  dear  chriftian  knew  m.y 
diftrefs.  I  got  into  a  kind  of  hovel,  and  there  groan- 
ed out  my  complaint  to  God  ;  and  withal  felt  more 
fenfible  gratitude  and  thankfulnefs  to  God,  that  he 
had  made  me  to  differ  from  thefe  men,  as  I  knew 
through  grace  he  had. 

Lord's  Day,  April  17. — In  the  morning  was  again 
diftrefted  as  foon  as  I  awaked,  hearing  much  talk 
about  the  world  and  the  things  of  it :  Though  I  per- 
ceived the  men  were  in  fome  meafure  afraid  of  me  ; 
and  I  difcourfed  fomething  about  fanc^tifying  the 
Sabbath,  if  poflible,  to  folemnize  their  minds  ;  but 
when  they  were  at  a  little  diftance,  they  again  talked 
freely  about  fecular  affairs.  O,  I  thought,  what  a  hell 
it  would  be  to  live  with  fuch  men  to  eternity  I  The 
Lprd  gave  me  fome  ajGTiftance  in  preaching,  all  day,  and 
fome  refignatiun,  and  a  fmall  degree  of  comfort  in 
prayer  at  night. 

[He  continued  in  this  difconfolate  frame  the  next 
day.] 

Tucfday,  April \g. — In  the  morning,  enjoyed  fome 
fweet  repofe  and  reft  in  God  ;  felt  fome  ftrength  and 
confidence  in  God ;  and  my  foul  was  in  fome  meafure 
refrellied  and  comforted.  Spent  mofl  of  the  day  in 
writing,  and  had  fbmc  exercife  of  grace  fenfible  and 

comfortable  ;' 


92  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

comfortable  ;  my  foul  feemed  lifted  above  the  deep 
waters^  wherein  it  has  been  fo  long  almoft  drowned  ; 
felt  fome  fpiritual  longings  and  breathings  o-f  foiil 
after  God  ;  found  myfelf  engaged  for  the  advance- 
ment of  Chrifi:*s  kingdom  in  my  own  foul,  more  thaa 
in  others,  more  than  in  the  heathen  world. 

Wednefiay,  April  20. — Set  apart  this  day  for  faft- 
ing  and  prayer,  to  bow  my  foul  before  God  for  the 
beilowment  of  divine  grace  ;  efpecially  that  all  my 
fpiritual  afflictions  and  inward  diftrefles  might  be 
fandified  to  my  foul.  And  endeavoured  alfo  to  re- 
member the  goodnefs  of  God  to  me  in  the  year  paft, 
this  day  being  my  birth  day.  Having  obtained 
help  of  God,  I  have  hitherto  lived,  and  am  now  ar- 
rived at  the  age  of  twenty  five  years.  My  foul  was 
pained  to  think  of  my  barrennefs  and  deadnefs ;  that 
1  have  lived  fo  little  to  the  glory  of  the  eternal  God. 
I  fpent  the  day  in  the  woods  alone,  and  there  poured 
out  my  complaint  to  God.  O  that  God  would 
enable  me  to  live  to  his  glory  for  the  future. 

Thurfday,  April  z\. — Spent  the  forenoon  in  read- 
ing and  prayer,  and  found  myfelf  fomething  engag- 
ed ;  but  ftill  much  depreffed  in  fpirit  under  a  fenfe 
of  my  vilenefs  and  unfitnefs  for  any  publick  fervice. 
In  the  afternoon,  I  vifited  my  people,  and  prayed 
and  converfed  with  fome  about  their  fouls*  concerns  : 
And  afterwards  found  fome  ardour  of  foul  in  fecret 
prayer.  O  that  I  might  grow  up  into  the  likenefs 
of  God. 

Friday,  April  22.' — Spent  the  day  in  fludy,  read- 
ing and  prayer  ;  and  felt  a  little  relieved  of  my  bur- 
den, that  has  been  fo  heavy  of  late.  But  ftill  in 
fome  meafure  oppreffed.  Had  a  fenfe  of  barrennefs. 
O,  my  leannefs  teftifies  againfl  me  !  My  very  foul 
abhors  itfelf  for  its  unlikencfs  to  God^  its  inadtivity 
and  fluggifhnefs.  When  I  have  done  all,  alas,  what 
an  unprofitable  fervant  am  I  !    My  foul  groans,  to 

fee 


Mr.   D  a  V  I  D   B  R  a  I  N  E  R  D.       93 

fee  the  hours  of  the  day  roll  away,  becaufe  I  do  not 
fill  them,  in  fpirituality  and  heavenly  mindednefs. 
And  yet  I  long  they  fhould  fpeed  their  pace,  ta 
haften  me  to  my  eternal  horne,  where  I  may  fill  up 
all  my  moments,  through  eternity,  for  God  and  his 
glory 

[Forfeveral  following  days  he  feems  to  have  been 
under  an  incrcafe  of  deje(Sion  and  melancholy.  On 
Tuefday,  he  exprefles  fome  relief.  Wednefday  he 
kept  as  a  day  of  fafting  and  prayer,  but  in  great  dif- 
trefs.  The  next  three  days  following,  his  melan- 
choly continued,  but  in  a  leflfer  degree,  and  with  in- 
tervals of  comfort.] 

Lord*s  Day,  May  i . — Was  at  Stockbridge  to  day. 
In  the  forenoon  had  fome  relief  and  affiftance ;  though 
not  fo  much  as  ufual.  In  the  afternoon,  felt  poorly 
in  body  and  foul ;  while  I  was  preaching, feemed  to  be 
rehearfing  idle  tales,  without  the  lead  life,  fervour, 
fenfe  or  comfort  :  And  efpecially  afterwards,  at  the 
facrament,  my  foul  was  filled  with  confufion,  and 
the  utmoft  anguifh  that  ever  I  endured,  under  the 
feeling  of  my  inexpreflible  vilenefs  and  meannefs. 

[The  remaining  days  of  this  week  were  fpent,  for 
the  mofl:  part,  in  inward  diftrefs  and  gloominefs. 
The  next  Sabbath,  he  had  encouragement,  afliftance 
and  comfort ;  but  on  Monday  funk  again.] 

Tue/Hay,  May  lO. — Was  in  the  fame  ilate,  as  to 
my  mind,  that  I  have  been  in  for  fome  time,  extreme- 
ly preffed  with  a  fenfe  of  guilt,  pollution,  blindnefs: 
T/je  iniquity  of  ?ny  heels  have  compajfed  me  about  ; 
the  fins  of  my  youth  have  been  fet  in  order  before  me  ; 
they  have  gone  over  tny  head,  as  an  heavy  burden,  too 
heavy  for  me  to  bear,  Almoft  all  the  adtions  of  my 
life  paft  feem  to  be  covered  over  with  fin  and  guilt  ; 
and  thofe  of  them  that  I  performed  in  the  moft  con- 
feientious  manner,  now  fill  me  with  Ihame  and  con- 
fufion, that  I  cannot  hold  up  my  face.   O  !  the  pride, 

fel  fifhnefs, 


^4  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

MEfhncCsy  hypocrify,  ignorance,  bittefnef^',  -party 
zeal,  and  the  want  of  love,  candour,  meeknefs  and  d| 
gentlenefs  that  have  attended  my  attempts  to  pro-  1 
mote  religion  and  virtue;   and  this  when  I  have  * 
rcafon  to  hope  I  had  real  alliftance  from  above,  and 
fome  fweet  intercourfe  with  heaven  !  But  alas,  what 
corrupt  mixtures  attended  rriy  beft  duties ! 

[The  next  fcven  days,  his  gloom  and  diftrefs  con- 
tinued, for  the  moft  part  j  but  he  had  fome  turns  of 
relief  and  fpiritual  com.fort.  He  gives  an  account  of 
his  fpending  part  of  this  time  in  hard  labour,  tobuild 
himfelf  a  little  cottage  tolivein  amongft  the  Indians, 
in  which  he.  might  be  by  himfelf;  having  (it 
feems)  hitherto  lived  with  a  poor  Scotchman  ;  and 
afterwards,  before  his  own  houfe  was  habitable,  liv- 
ed in  a  wigwam  among  the  Indians.] 

Wednefday,  May  i8. — My  circumstances  are  fuch 
that  I  have  no  comfort,  of  any  kind,  but  what  I  have 
in  God.  1  live  in  the  moft  lonefome  wildernefs  ; 
have  but  one  fingle  perfon  to  converfe  with,  that 
can  fpeak  Englifh*  :  Moft  of  the  talk  1  hear,  is 
either  Highland-Scotch  or  Indian.  I  have  no  fellow 
chriftian  to  whom  I  might  unbofom  myfelf ,  and  lay 
open  my  fpiritual  forrows,  and  with  whom  I  might 
take  fweet  counfel  in  converfatiou  about  heavenly 
things,  and  join  in  focial  prayer.  1  live  poorly  with 
regard  to  the  comforts  of  life  :  Moft  of  my  diet  con- 
lifts  of  boiled  corn,  hafty-pudding,  &c,  I  lodge  on 
a  bundle  offtraw,  and  my  labour  is  hard  and  ex- 
tremely difficult  ;  and  I  have  little  appearance  of 
fuccefs  to  comfort  me.  The  Indians'  affairs  are  ve- 
ry difficult  ;   having  no  land  to  live  on,  but  what 

the 

*  This  perfon  was  Mr.  Bvainerd'.s  interpreter;  whft  was  an  ingenious  young  In- 
dian beIonf;in^  to  Stockbtidgi',  whole  name  was:  John  Wauwaumptquunnaunt,  who 
had  been  inftnifled  in  the  chriftian  religion  bv  Mr.  Sergeant  ;  and  had  lived  with 
the^Rev.  Mr.  Williams  of  Long-Meadow,  and  had  been  hlriher  inftrutfed  by  him 
at  the  charge  of  Mr.  Holli?  of  London  ;  and  undeillood  both  Englifh  and  Indian 
very  well,  and  wrote  a  goo'd' hand. 


Mr.    DAVID  BRAINERD.     -95 

the  Dutch  [pedpie  lay  claim  fo,  and  threaten  to  drive 
them  ofFfrxjm  j  they  have  no  regard  to  the  fouls  of: 
the  poor" Indians  ;   and,  by  what  I  can  learn,  they 
hate  Trie,':hecaufe  I: come  to  preach  to  them.     But 
tl'rat."\\chrch  makes  all  my  difficulties  grievous  to  be 
bor0e.,':is,..that  God  hides  his  face  frOm  me. 
•  (.The.  next  eleven  days,  his  burdens  were  for  the 
moft  part  alleviated  j  but  with  variety  ;    at  fome 
■  times  having  coniiderable  confolation,  and  at  other 
times   more  depreifed.     The  next   day,    Monday, 
May   30,   he  fet  out  on  a:  journey  to   New-Jerfey, 
to  conl'ult  the  CommiiTioners  that  employed  him 
about  the  affairs  of  his  miffion*  :  Performed  his  jour- 
i^y  thither  in  four  days  ;  and  arrived  at  Mr.  Burr*s 
iPiNevyark  on  Thurfday.     In  great  part  of  his  jour- 
neyvhe  was  in  the  depths  of  melancholy,  under  like 
diftreffes  with  thofe already  mentioned.   On  Friday, 
he  rode  to  Elizabeth-Town  ;    and  on  Saturday,  to 
New- York  ;  and  from  thence  on  his  way  homewards 
as  far  as  White-Plains,  where  he  fpent  the  Sabbath, 
and  had  coniiderable  degrees  of  divine  confolation 
and  afliftance  in  publick  fervices.     On  Monday,  he - 
rode  about  fixty  miles  to  New-Haven.     There  he 
attempted  a  reconcihation  with  the  authority  of  the 
college ;  and  fpent  this  week  in  vifiting  his  friends 
in  thofe  parts,  and  in  his  journey  homewards,  until 
Saturday,  in  a  pretty  cotnfortable  frame  of  mind. — 
On  Saturday,  in  his  way  from  Stockbridge  to  Kau- 
naumeek,  he  was  loft  in  the  woods,  and  lay  all  night 
in  the  open  air  j  but   happily  found   his    way   in 
the  morning,  and  came  to  his  Indians  on  Lord's 
Day,  June  12.  And  had  greater  affiftance  in  preach- 
ing among  them  than   ever  before,  fmce  his   firft 
coming  among  them. J 

[From 

*  His  bufincfs  with  tlie  CommifTioners  now,  v.t;s,  to  obtain  orders  from  them  to 
fet  up  a  fchool  among  the  Indians  at  Kaunaunieek,  and  tliat  his  in' erpreter  might  be 
app9ii)ted  the  fch'jolmafter  ;  Which  was  according) y  done. 


96  Til  E    L  I  F  E    OF 

[From  this  time  forward  he  was  the  fubjedt  of  va- 
rious frames  and  exercifes  of  mind.     How  it  was 
with  him  in  thofe  dark  feafons,  he  himfelf  further 
defcribes  in  his  Diary  for  July  2,  in  the  following 
manner.     My  foul  is  and  has  for  a  long  time  been 
in  a  piteous    condition,   wading  through  a  feries  of 
forrows,  of  various  kinds.     1  have  been  fo  cruflied 
down  fometimes  with  a  fenfe  of  my  meannefs  and 
infinite  unworthinefs,  that  I  have  been  afhamed  that 
anyeven  themeaneftof  my  fellow  creatures  fhould  fo 
much  as  fpend  a  thought  about  me,  and  have  wi(h- 
ed  fometimes  while  I  have  travelled  among  the  thick 
brakes,  as  one  of  them  to  drop  into  everlafting  obliv- 
ion.    Sometimes  my  foul   has  been  in  diftrefs  on 
feeling  fome  particular  corruptions  rife  and  fwell 
like  a  mighty    torrent,    with     prefent    violence  ;  . 
Laving  at  the  fame  time  ten  thouiand  former  fins  and 
follies  prefented  to  view,  in  all  their  blacknefs  and 
aggravations.     And  thefe  attended  with  fuch  exter- 
nal circumftances  as  mine  at  prefent  are ;  deftitute  of 
moil  of  the  conveniencies  of  life,  and  I  may  lay,  of 
all  the  pleafures  of  it ;  without  a  friend  to  communi- 
cate any  of  my  forrows  to,  and  fometimes  without  any 
place  of  retirement,  where  I  may  unburden  my  foul 
before  God,  which  has  greatly  contributed  to  my  dif- 
trefs.    Of  late,  more  efpecialiy,  my  great  difficulty 
has  been  a  fort  of  careleiTnefs,  a  kind  of  regardjefs 
temper  of  mind,  whence  I  have  been  difpofed  to  in- 
dolence and  trifling  ;  And  this  temper  of  mind  has 
conflantly  been  attended  with  guilt  and  Ihame  ;  fo 
that  fometimes  I, have  been  in  a  kind  of  horror,  to 
find  myfelf  fo  unlike  the  bleffed   God  j  and  have 
thought  I  grew  worfe  under  all  my  trials  ;  and  noth- 
ing has  cut  and   wounded  my  foul  more  than  this. 
O,  if  lam  one  of  God's  chofen,  as  I  trufl  through  in- 
finite grace  1  am,  I  find  of  a  truth,  that  /he  righteous 

ate  Scarcely  faved  ! 

It 


Mr.   DAVID   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.       97 

It  is  apparent,  that  one  main  occafion  of  that  dif- 
trefTing  gloominefs  of  mind  which  he  was  fo  much 
exercifed  with  at  Kaunaumeek,  was  reflection  on  his 
paft  errors  and  mifguided  zeal  at  college,  in  the  be- 
ginning of  the  late  religious  commotions  in  the  land. 
And  therefore  he  repeated  his  endeavours  this  year 
for  reconciliation  with  the  governours  of  the  college, 
whom  he  had  in  that  time  offended.  Althbugh  he 
had  been  at  New-Haven,  in  June,  this  year,  and  had 
attempted  a  reconciliation,  as  has  been  mentioned 
already.yetin  the  beginning  of  July,  hemadeanother 
journey  thither,  and  renewed  his  attempt,  but  flill 
in  vain. 

Although  he  was  much  deje(5ted  great  part  of  that 
fpace  of  time  that  I  am  now  fpeaking  of,  yet  there 
were  many  intermiffions  of  his  melancholy,  and 
fome  feafons  of  comfort,  fweet  tranquillity  and  re- 
fignation  of  mind,  and  frequent  fpecial  affiftance 
in  publick  fervices,  that  he  fpeaks  of  in  his  Diary. 
The  mannerof  his  relief  from  hisforrow,oncein  par- 
ticular, is  worthy  to  be  mentioned  in  his  own  words, 
in  his  Diary,  for  July  25,  which  are  as  follows  :  Had 
little  or  no  refolution  for  a  life  of  holinefs  ;  was  ready 
almoft  to  renounce  my  hopes  of  living  to  God.  And 
O  how  dark  it  looked,  to  think  of  being  unholy  for- 
ever !  This  I  could  not  endure.  The  cry  of  my  foul 
was  that  (Pfal.  Ixv.  3,)  Iniquities  prevail  agaijijl  me ^ 
But  was  in  feme  meafure  relieved  by  a  comforfable 
meditation  on  God's  eternity,  that  he  never  had  a 
beginning,  &c.  whencel  was  led  to  admire  his  great- 
nefs  and  power,  &c.  in  fuch  a  manner  that  I  ftood 
ftill  and  praifed  the  Lord  for  his  own  glories  and 
perfections  ;  though  I  was  (and  if  I  fliould  forever 
be)  an  unholy  creature,  my  foul  was  comforted  to 
apprehend  an  eternal,  infinite,  powerful,  holy  God.] 

Saturday,  'July  30.-- Juft  at  night,  moved  into  my 
own  houfe,  and  lodged  there  that  night  ;  found  it 

G  much 


98  TheLIFEof 

much  better  fpending  the  time  alone  in   my  own 
houfe,  than  in  the  wigwam  where  I  was  before. 

Lord*sDay,  Ju/y  31. —Felt  more  comfortably  than 
fome  days  paft.  BlefTed  be  the  Lord,  that  has  now 
given  me  a  place  of  retirement.  O  that  I  might 
find  God  in  it,  and  that  be  would  dwell  with  me 
forever. 

Monday,  Augujl  i . — Was  flill  bufy  in  further  la- 
bours on  my  houfe.  Felt  a  little  of  the  fweetnefs  o-f 
religion,  and  thought  it  was  worth  the  while  to  fol- 
low after  God  through  a  thoufand  fnares,  deferts, 
and  death  itfelf.  O  that  I  might  always  follow  af- 
ter holinefs,  that  I  may  be  fully  Conformed  to  God- 
Had  fome  degree  of  fweetnefs,  in  fecret  prayer, 
though  I  had  much  foriow. 

Wednefday,  Auguji  3. — Spent  mofl  of  the  day  in  ' 
writing.  Enjoyed  fome  fenfe  of  religion.  Through 
divine  goodnefs  I  am  now  uninterruptedly  alone ;  and 
iind  my  retirement  comfortable.  I  have  enjoyed 
more  fenfe  of  divine  things  within  a  few  days  lafl 
paft,  than  for  fome  time  before.  I  longed  after  ho- 
linefs, humility  and  meeknefs  :  O  that  God  would 
enable  me  to  pafs  the  time  of  my  fojourning  here  in  his 
fear,  and  always  live  to  him. 

nurfday,  Augufi  4. — Was  enabled  to  pray  much 
through  the  whole  day  ;  and  through  divine  good- 
jnefs  found  fome  intenfenefs  of  foul  in  the  duty,  as  I 
ufed  to  do,  and  fome  ability  to  perfevere  in  my  fup- 
plications :  Had  fome  apprehenlions  of  divine  things, 
that  were  engaging,  and  that  gave  me  fome  courage 
and  refolution.     It  is  good,  I  find,  to  perfevere  in  at- 
tempts to  pray,  if  I  cannot  pray  with  perfeverance, 
i.e.  continue  long  in  my  addrelFes  to  the  Divine 
Being.     I  have  generally  found  that  the  more  I  do 
in  fecret  prayer,  the  more  I  have  delighted  to  do, 
and  have  enjoyed  more  of  a  fpirit  of  prayer  ;  and 
frequently  have  found  the  contrary,  when,  with  jour- 
neying 


Mr.    DAVID  BRAINERD.       99 

neying  or  otherwife,  I -have  been  much  deprived  of 
retirement.     A  lea (bn able  fteady  performance  of  fe- 
cret  duties  in  their  proper  hours,  and  a  careful  im- 
provement of  all  time, filling  up  every  hour  with  fome 
profitable  labour,  either  of  heart,  head,  or  hands,  are 
excellent  means  of  fpiritual  peace  and  boldnefs  be- 
fore God.     Chrift  indeed  is  our  peace,  and  by  him 
we  have  boldnefs  of  accefs  to  God  \    but  a  good  con» 
fcience,  void  of  offence  j  is  an  excellent  preparation  for 
an  approach  into  the  divine  prefence.     There  is  dif- 
ference between  felf  confidence,  and  a  felf  righteous 
pleafing  ourfelves  (with  our  own  duties,  attainments, 
and  fpiritual  enjoyments)  which  godly  fouls  fome- 
times  are  guilty  of,  and  that  holy  confidence  arifing 
from  the  teftimony  of  a  good  confcience,   which 
good  Hezekiah  had  when  he  fays.  Remember,  O  Lord^ 
I  befeech  thee,  how  I  have  walked  before  thee  in  truths 
and  with  a  perfe5l  heart.     Then  (fays  the  holy  Pfalm- 
iO:)Jhall  I  not  be  ajhamed,  when  I  have  refpedl  to  all 
thy  commandments.     Filling  up  our  time  with  and 
for  God  IS  the  way  to  rife  up  and  lie  down  in  peace. 
[The  next  eight  days,  he  continued  for  the  moft 
part  in  a  very  comfortable  frame,  having  his  mind 
fixed  and  fweetly  engaged  in  religion ;  and  more  than 
once  bleffes  God,  that  he  had  given  him  a  little  cot- 
tage, where  he  might  live  alone,  and  enjoy  a  happy 
retirement,    free   from   noife  and  diflurbance,  and 
could  at  any  hour  of  the  day  lay  afide  all  fludies,  and 
fpend  time  in  lifting  up  his  foul  to  God  for  fpiritual 
bleflings.] 

Saturday,  Augufl  i3.-^Was  enabled  in  fecret 
prayer  to  raife  my  foul  to  God,  with  defire  and 
delight.  It  was  indeed  a  blefled  feafon  to  my 
foul  ;  I  found  the  comfort  of  being  a  chriftian  : 
/  counted  the  fufferings  of  the  prefent  life  not  worthy 
to  be  compared  with  the  glory  of  divine  enjoyments, 
even  in  this  world.    All  my  paft  forrows  feemed 

G  a  kindly 


ipo  TheLIFEof 

kindly  to  difappear,  and  I  remembered  no  more  the/or' 
row,  for  joy,  O,  how  kindly,  and  with  what  a  filial  ten- 
derneis,  the  foul  hangs  on,  and  confides  in  the  Rock  of 
agesy  at  fuch  a  fealbn,  that  he  will  never  leave  it  nor 
forfake  it,  that  he  will  caufe  all  things  to  work  tO' 
gether  for  its  goody  &c.  1  longed  that  others  fhould 
know  how  good  a  God  the  Lord  is.  My  Ibul  was 
full  of  tendernefs  and  love,  even  to  the  mofl  inveter- 
ate of  my  enimies  :  I  longed  they  fliould  (hare  in 
the  fame  mercy.  1  loved  and  longed  that  God  Ihould 
do  jufl  as  he  pleafed,  with  me  and  every  thing  elfe. 
I  felt  exceeding  ferious,  calm  and  peaceful,  and  en- 
couraged to  prel's  after  holinefs  as  long  as  I  live, 
whatever  dijSiculties  and  trials  rnay  be  in  my  way. 
May  the  Lord  always  help  me  fo  to  do.  Amen, 
and  Amen  ! 

hordes  Day^  Aiigufl  14. — I  had  much  more  free- 
dom in  publick,  than  in  private.  God  enabled  me 
to  fpeak  with  fome  feeling  fenfe  of  divine  things  ; 
but  perceived  no  confiderable  effedt. 

Monday y  Augufl  15. — Spent  moft  of  the  day  in  la- 
bour to  procure  fomething  to  keep  my  horfe  on  in 
the  winter.  Enjoyed  not  much  fvveetnefs  in  the 
morning  :  Was  very  weak  in  body,  through  the  day, 
and  thought  this  frail  body  would  foon  drop  into  the 
duft  :  Had  fome  very  realizing  appreheniions  of  a 
fpeedy  entrance  into  another  world.  And  in  this 
•weak  ftate  of  body,  was  not  a  little  diftrcflbd  for 
want  ot  fuitable  food.  Had  110  bread,  nor  could  I 
get  any.  I  am  forced  to  go  or  fend  ten  or  fifteen 
miles  for  all  the  bread  I  eat ;  and  fometimes  it  is 
mouldy  and  four,  before  I  eat  it,  if  1  get  any  con- 
fiderable quantity  :  And  then  again  I  have  none  for 
fome  days  together,  for  want  of  an  opportunity  to 
fend  for  it,  and  cannot  find  my  horfe  in  the  woods 
to  go  mj-felf  j  and  this  was  my  cafe  now:  But 
through  divine  goodnels  1  had  fome  Indian  meal,  of 

which 


( 


Mr.  DAVID   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.       loi 

which  I  made  little  cakes  and  fried  thefti.  Yet  felt 
contented  with  my  circumftances,  and  fvveetly  refign- 
ed  to  God.  In  prayer  I  enjoyed  great  freedom; 
and  blefled  God  as  much  for  my  prefent  circum- 
llances,  as  if  I  had  been  a  king;  and  thought,  I  found 
a  difpofition  to  be  contented  in  any  circumftances  : 
Bleffed  be  God  ! 

[The  reft  of  this  week,  he  was  exceeding  weak 
in  body  and  much  exercifed  with  pain  ;  and  yet 
obliged  from  day  to  day  to  labour  hard,  to  procure 
fodder  for  his  horfe ;  excepting  fome  part  of  the 
time  he  was  fo  very  ill,  that  he  was  neither  able  to 
work  nor  ftudy  :  But  fpeaks  of  longings  after  holi- 
nefs  and  perfed:  conformity  to  God  ;  complains  of 
enjoying  but  little  of  God  ;  yet  fiys,  that  little  was 
better  to  him  than  all  the  world  befides.  In  his  Dia- 
ry for  Saturday,  he  fays,  he  was  fomething  melan- 
choly and  forrovvful  in  mind  ;  and  adds,  I  never  feel 
comfortably,  but  when  I  find  my  foul  going  forth 
after  God  :  If  I  cannot  be  holy,  I  mull  necelTarily'  be 
miferable  forever.] 

Lofd*s  Day,  Augujl  21. — Was  much  ftraitened  in 
the  forenoon  exercife  :  My  thoughts  fcemed  to  be 
all  fcattered  to  the  ends  of  the  earth.  At  noon  I  fell 
down  before  the  Lord,  and  groaned  under  my  vile- 
nefs,  barrennefs,  deadnefs,  and  felt  as  if  I  was  guilty 
of  foul  murder,  in  fpeaking  to  immortal  fouls  in 
fuch  a  manner  as  I  had  then  done.  In  the  afternoon, 
God  was  pleafed  to  give  me  fome  alliftance,  and  I 
was  enabled  to  fet  before  my  hearers  the  nature  and 
necellity  of  true  repentance,  &;c.  Afterwards  had 
fome  fmall  degree  of  thankfulnefs.  Was  very  ill 
and  full  of  pain  in  the  evening ;  and  my  foul  mourn- 
ed that  I  had  fpent  fo  much  time  to  fo  little  profit. 

Mo?iday^  Augujl  22. — Spent  moft  of  the  day  in 
fludy  ;  and  found  my'  bodily  ftrength  in  a  meafure 
reftored.     Had  fome  intenfe  and  paffionate  breath- 

Q  3  ings 


lOi  TheLIFEof 

ings  of  foul  after  holinefs,  and  very  clear  manifefta- 
tions  of  my  utter  inability  to  procure,  or  work  it  in 
myfelf ;  it  is  wholly  owing  to  the  power  of  God, 
O,  with  what  tendernefs  the  love  and  defire  of  holi- 
nefs fills  the  foul  !  I  wanted  to  wing  out  of  myfelf, 
to  God ;  or  rather  to  get  a  conformity  to  him  :  But 
alas,  I  cannot  add  to  my  ftdture  in  grace  one  cubit. 
However,  my  foul  can  never  leave  ftriving  for  it ; 
or  at  lead  groaning,  that  it  cannot  ftrive  for  it,  and 
obtain  more  purity  of  heart.  At  night,  I  fpent  fome 
tinae  in  inftruding  my  poor  people  :  Q  that  God 
would  pity  their  fouls. 

Tuefday,  Augufl^T,. — Studied  in  the  forenoon,  and 
enjoyed  fome  freedom.  In  the  afternoon,  laboured 
abroad  :  Endeavoured  toprayjnuch  ;  but  found  not 
much  fwcetnefs  or  intenfenefs  of  mind.  Towards 
night,  was  very  weary,  and  tired  of  this  world  of 
forrow  :  The  thoughts  of  death  and  immortality  ap- 
peared very  defirable,  and  even  refreshed  my  fouU 
Thofe  lines  turned  in  my  mind  with  pleafure. 

Come,  death,  fliake  hands  ;  I'll  kifs  thy  bands ; 

'Tis  happinefs  for  me  to  die. 
What !  deft  thou  think,  that  I  will  ftirink  ? 

I'll  go  to  immortality. 

In  evening  prayer,  God  was  plcafed  to  draw  near 
my  foul,  though  very  finful  and  unworthy  :  Was 
enabled  to  wreftle  with  God,  and  to  perfevere  in  my 
requefts  for  grace  :  I  poured  out  my  foul  for  all  the 
world,  friends  and  enemies.  My  foul  was  concern- 
ed, not  fo  much  for  fouls  as  fuch,  but  rather  for 
Chrift's  kingdom,  that  it  might  appear  in  the  world, 
that  God  might  be  known  to  be  God,  in  the  whole 
earth.  And  O,  my  foul  abhorred  the  very  thought 
of  a  party  in  religion  !  Let  the  truth  of  God  appear, 
wherever  it  is  ;  and  God  have  the  glory  forever. 
Amen.  This  was  indeed  a  comfortable  feafon  :  I 
thought  I  had  fome  fmall  tafle  of,  and  relilh  for  the 

enjoyments 


Mr.  DAVID  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.       103 

enjoyments  and  employments  of  the  upper  world, 
O  that  my  foul  was  more  attempered  to  it. 

JVednefday,  Augujl  24. — Spent  fome  time,  in  the 
morning,  in  ftudy  and  prayer.  Afterwards,  was  en- 
gaged in  fome  neceffary  bufinefs  abroad.  Towards 
night,  found  a  little  time  for  fome  particular  ftudies.  I 
thought  if  God  ftiould  fay,  Ccafe  making  any  pro- 
vifion  for  this  life,  for  you  fhall  in  a  few  days  go 
out  of  time  into  eternity,  my  foul  would  leap  for  joy. 
O  that  I  may  both  defire  to  be  dijfohed  to  be  with 
Chrijl,  and  like  wife  wait  patiently  all  the  days  of  my 
appointed  time  until  my  change  come.  But  alas,  I  am 
very  unfit  for  the  bufinefs  and  bleflednefs  of  heaven, 
O  for  more  holinefs. 

Tburfday,  Augujl  25. — Part  of  the  day  engaged  ia 
ftudies  and  part  in  labour  abroad.  I  find  it  is  im- 
poflible  to  enjoy  peace  and  tranquillity  of  mind  with- 
out a  careful  improvement  of  time.  This  is  really 
an  imitation  of  God  and  Chrifl  Jefus :  My  Father 
worketh  hitherto,  and  I  work^  fays  our  Lord.  But 
ik\\\  if  we  would  be  like  God,  we  muft  fee  that  we 
fill  up  our  time  for  him.  I  daily  long  to  dwell  in 
perfed:  light  and  love.  In  the  mean  time  my  foul 
mourns,  that  I  make  fo  little  progrefs  in  grace  and 
preparation  for  the  world  of  bleflednefs  :  I  fee  and 
know  that  I  am  a  very  barren  tree  in  God's  vineyard, 
and  that  he  might  juftly  fay,  Cut  it  downy  &c.  O 
that  God  would  make  me  more  lively  and  vigor- 
ous in  grace,  for  his  own  glory  !    Amen. 

[The  two  next  days,  he  was  much  engaged  in  fome 
neceffary  labours,  in  which  he  extremely  fpenthim- 
fclf.  He  feems,  thefe  days,  to  have  had  a  great  fenfe 
of  the  vanity  of  the  world  ;  and  continued  longings 
after  holinefs,  and  more  fervency  of  fpirit  in  the  fer- 
vice  of  God.] 

hordes  Day,  Augujl  28. — Was  much  perplexed 
with  fome  irreligious  Dutchmen.    All  their  dilcourfc 

G4  turned 


104  The    LIFE    of 

turned  upon  the  things  of  the  world ;  which  was  no 
fmall  exercife  to  my  mind.  O  what  a  hell  it  would 
be  to  fpend  an  eternity  with  fuchmen  !  Well  might 
David  fay,  I  beheld  the  tranfgreffors  and  was  grieved. 
But  adored  be  God,  heaven  is  a  place,  into  which 
no  unclean  thing  enters.  O,  I  long  for  the  holinefs  of 
that  world  !  Lord,  prepare  me  therefor. 

[The  next  day,  he  fet  out  on  a  journey  to  New- 
York.  Was  fomething  dejedled,  the  two  firfl:  days 
of  his  journey  ;  but  yet  feems  to  have  enjoyed  fome 
degrees  of  the  fenfible  prefence  of  God.] 

Wednefday,  Auguji  31. — Rode  down  to  Bethle-» 
hem  :  Was  in  a  fweet,  ferious,  and,  I  hope,  chrif- 
tian  frame,  when  I  came  there  ;  eternal  things  en- 
grofled  all  my  thoughts  j  and  I  longed  to  be  in  the 
world  of  fpirits.  O  how  happy  it  is,  to  have  all 
our  thoughts  fwallowed  up  in  that  world ;  to  feel 
one's  felf  a  ferious  confiderate  ftranger  in  this  world, 
diligently  feeking  a  road  through  it,  the  beft,  the 
fure  road  to  the  heavenly  Jerufalem. 

Thurfday^  September  i . — Rode  to  Danbury.  Was 
more  dull  and  dejedled  in  fpirit,  than  yeilerday. 
Indeed,  I  always  feel  comfortably,  when  God  real- 
izes death  and  the  things  of  another  world  to  my 
mind  :  Whenever  my  mind  is  taken  off  from  the 
things  of  this  world,  and  fet  on  God,  my  foul  is  thea 
at  reft. 

[He  went  forward  on  his  journey,  and  came  to 
New- York  on  the  next  Monday.  And  after  tarry- 
ing there  two  or  three  days,  fet  out  from  the  city  to- 
wards New-Haven,  intending  to  be  there  at  the  com- 
mencement ;  and  on  Friday  came  to  Horfe-Neck. 
In  the  mean  time,  he  complains  much  of  dullnefs, 
and  want  of  fervour  in  religion  :  But  yet  from  time 
to  time,  fpeaks  of  his  enjoying  fpiritual  warmth  and 
fweetnefs  in  conversation  with  chriftian  friends,  af- 
fillance  in  publick  f^ryices,  &c.] 

Saturday^ 


Mr.   DAVID  BR  AI  NERD.      105 

Saturday,  September  to.— Rode  fix  miles  to  Stan- 
wich,  and  preached  to  a  confiderable  airembly  of 
peopie.  Had  fome  affiftance  and  freedom,  efpec- 
ially  towards  the  clofe.  Endeavoured  much  after- 
wards, in  private  converfation,  to  eftablifh  holinefs, 
humility,  meeknefs,  &c.  as  the  effence  of  true  relig- 
ion j  and  to  moderate  fome  noify  fort  of  perfons, 
that  appeared  to  me  to  be  a(5ted  by  unfeen  fpiritual 
pride.  Alas,  what  extremes  men  incline  to  run  in- 
to !  Returned  to  Horfs-Neck,  and  felt  fome  feriouf- 
nefs  and  fvveet  folemnity  in  the  evening. 

Lord's  Day,   September    n. — In   the    afternoon, 
preached  from  Tit.  iii.  8.    I  think  God  never  help- 
ed me  more  in  painting  out  true  religion,  and  in  de- 
tediiig  clearly,  and  tenderly  difcountenancing  falfe 
appearances  of  religion,  wild  fire,  party  zeal,  fpirit- 
ual pride,  &c.  as  well  as  a  confident  dogmatical  fpir- 
it,  and  its  fpring,  viz,  ignorance  of  the  heart.    In  the 
evening,  took  much  pains  in  private  converfation  to 
fupprefs  fome  confufions,  that  I    perceived    were 
amongil  that  people. 
Monday,  Septe?nber  12  —Rode  to  Mr.  Mills*s  at 
Ripton.     Had   fome   perplexing  hours   ;  but  was 
fome  part  of  the  day  very  comfortable.  It  is  through 
great  trials,  I  fee,  that  we  muft  enter  the  gates  of 
Paradife.  If  my  foul  couldbut  be  holy,thatGod  might 
not  be  difhonoured,  methinks  I  could  bear  forrows. 
Tuejday,   September   13. — Rode  to   New-Haven. 
Was  fometimes  dejedted  ;  not  in  the  fvveeteft  frame. 
I  find  it  very  difficult  maintaininganyfenfe  of  divine 
things,  while  removing  from  place  to  place,  divert- 
ed with  new  objed:s,  and  filled  with  care  and  bufi- 
nefs.     A  fettled  fteady  bufinefs  is  beR  adapted  to  a 
life  of  ftridl  religion. 

Wednejday,  September  14. — This  day  I  ought  to 
have  taken  my  degree*  ;  but  God  fees  fit  to  deny  it 

me 

*  Thii  being  Commcacemcnt  day. 


io6  TheLIFEof 

me.  And  though  I  was  greatly  afraid  of  being  over- 
whelmed with  perplexity  and  confufion,  when  I 
fhould  fee  my  clafsmates  take  theirs  ;  yet,  in  the 
very  feafon  of  it,  God  enabled  me  with  calmnefs  and 
refignation  to  fay,  T^he  will  of  the  Lord  he  done.  In- 
deed, through  divine  goodnefs,  I  have  fcarcely  felt 
my  mind  fo  calm,  fedate,  and  comfortable  for  fome 
time.  I  have  long  feared  this  feafon,  and  expelled 
my  humility,  meeknefs,  patience,  and  refignation, 
would  be  much  tried  :  But  found  much  more  pleaf- 
ure  and  divine  comfort,  than  I  expefted.  Felt  fpir- 
itually  ferious,  tender  and  afFe(3:ionate  in  private 
prayer  with  a  dear  chriftian  friend  to  day. 

Thurfday,  September  15. — Had  fome  fatisfadlion  in 
hearing  the  minifters  difcourfe,  &c.  It  is  always  a 
comfort  to  me,  to  hear  religious  and  fpiritual  dif- 
courfe.  O  that  minifters  and  people  were  more 
fpiritual,  and  devoted  to  God.  Towards  night, 
with  the  advice  of  chriftian  friends,  I  offered  the  fol- 
lowing reflections  in  writing,  to  the  redlor  and  truf- 
teesof  the  college  (which  are  for  fubftance  the  fame 
that  I  had  freely  offered  to  the  recSlor  before,  and  en- 
treated him  to  accept)  and  this  I  did  that  if  poftible 
I  might  cut  off  all  occafionof  ftumblingand  offence, 
from  thofe  that  feek  occafion.  What  I  offered,  is  as 
follows  : 

**  Whereas  I  have  faid  before  feveral  perfons,  con-» 
cerning  Mr.  Whittelfey,  one  of  the  tutors  of  Yale- 
College,  that  I  did  not  believe  he  had  any  more 
grace  than  the  chair  1  then  leaned  upon  ;  I  humbly 
confefs,  that  herein  I  have  finned  againft  God,  and 
adled  contrary  to  the  rules  of  his  word,  and  have  in- 
jured Mr.  Whittelfey.  I  had  no  right  to  makethus 
free  with  his  character  ;  and  had  no  juft  reafon  to 
fay  as  I  did  concerning  him.  My  fault  herein  was 
the  more  aggravated,  in  that  I  faid  this  concerning 
one  that  was   fo  much  my  fuperiour,  and  one  that  I 

was 


Mr.   DAVID  BR  AI  NERD.      107 

was  obliged  to  treat  with  fpecial  refped  and  honour, 
by  reafon  of  the  relation  I  flood  in  to  him  in  the  col- 
lege. Such  a  manner  of  behaviour,  I  confefs,  did 
not  become  a  chriftian ;  it  was  taking  too  much  up- 
on me,  and  did  not  favour  of  that  humble  refpedl, 
that  I  ought  to  have  exprefled  towards  Mr.  Whittel- 
fey.  I  have  long  fince  been  convinced  ot  the  falfe- 
nefs  of  thofe  apprehenfions,  by  which  I  then  juftifi- 
ed  fuch  a  conducft.  I  have  often  refleded  on  this  acft 
with  grief;  I  hope,  on  account  of  the  fin  of  it  ; 
and  am  willing  to  lie  low,  and  be  abafed  before  God 
and  man,  for  it  :  And  humbly  afk  the  forgivenefs 
of  the  governours  of  the  college,  and  of  the  whole 
fociety  ;  but  of  Mr.  Whittelfey  in  particular.  And 
whereas  I  have  been  accufed  by  one  perfon  of  faying 
concerning  the  Rev.  redor  of  Yale-College,  that  I 
wondered  he  did  not  exped:  to  drop  down  dead  for 
fining  the  fcholars  that  followed  Mr.  Tennent  to 
Miliord  ;-l  ferioufly  profefs,  that  I  do  not  remem- 
ber my  faying  any  thing  to  this  purpofe.  But  if  I 
did,  which  I  am  not  certain  I  did  not,  I  utterly  con- 
demn it,  and  deteft  all  fuch  kind  of  behaviour  ;  and 
efpecially  in  an  under  graduate  towards  the  re(5lor. 
And  I  now  appear,  to  judge  and  condemn  myfelf  for 
going  once  to  the  feparate  meeting  in  New-Haven, 
^  little  before  I  was  expelled,  though  the  re<ftor  had 
refufed  to  give  me  leave.  For  this  I  humbly  afk  the 
redlor's  forgivenefs.  And  whether  the  governours 
of  the  college  fhall  ever  fee  caufe  to  remove  the  ac- 
ademical cenfure  I  lie  under,  or  no,  or  to  admit  me 
to  the  privileges  I  defire  ;  yet  1  am  willing  to  ap- 
pear, it  they  think  fit,  openly  to  own,  and  to  hum- 
ble myfelf  for  thofe  things  1  have  herein  confefTed." 
God  has  made  me  willing  to  do  any  thing,  that  I 
can  do,  confident  with  truth,  for  the  fake  of  peace, 
and  that  I  might  not  be  a  flumbhng  block  and  of- 
fence to  others.     For  this  reafon  I  can  cheerfully 

forego, 


io8  TheLIFEop 

forego,  and  give  up  what  I  verily  believe,  after  the 
ipofl:  mature  and  impartial  fearch,  is  my  right,  in 
ibme  inflances.  God  has  given  me  that  difpofition, 
that  if  this  were  the  cafe,  that  a  man  has  done  me  an 
hundred  injuries,  and  I  (though  ever  fo  much  pro- j 
voked  to  it)  have  done  him  one,  I  feel  difpofed,  and  1! 
heartily  willing  humbly  to  confefs  my  fault  to  him, 
and  on  my  knees  toaik  forgivenefs  of  him  j  though 
at  the  fame  time  he  fhould  juftify  himfelf  in  all  the 
injuries  he  has  done  me,  and  fhould  only  make 
ufe  of  my  humble  confeffion  to  blacken  my  character 
the  more,  and  reprefent  me  as  the  only  pcrfon  guilty, 
&c.  Yea,  though  he  fliould  as  it  were  infult  me, 
and  fay  he  knew  all  this  before,  and  that  I  was  mak- 
ing work  for  repentance,  &c.  Though  what  I  faid 
concerning  Mr.  Whiftelfey  was  only  fpoken  in  pri- 
vate, to  a  friend  or  two;  and  being  partly  overheard, 
was  related  to  the  redlor,  and  by  him  extorted  from 
my  friends  ;  yet,  feeing  it  was  divulged  and  made 
publick,  I  was  willing  to  confefs  my  fault  therein 
publickly.     But  I  truft,  God  will  plead  my  caufe. 

[The  next  day  he  went  to  Derby ;  then  to  South- 
bury,  where  he  fpent  the  Sabbath  :  And  fpeaks  of 
fome  fpiritual  comfort  ;  but  complains  much  of  un- 
iixednefs,  and  wanderings  of  mind  in  religion.] 

Monday,  September  19. — In  the  afternoon,  rode  to 
Bethlehem,  and  ttiere  preached.  Had  fome  meafure 
of  afliftance,  both  in  prayer  and  preaching.  1  felt 
ferious,  kind  and  tender  towards  all  mankind,  and 
longed  that  holinefs  might  flouridi  more  on  earth. 

Tuefdayy  September  20. — Had  thoughts  of  going 
forward  on  my  journey  to  my  Indians  ;  but  towards 
night  was  taken  with  a  hard  pain  in  my  teeth,  and 
fhivering  cold,  and  could  not  poffibly  recover  a  com- 
fortable degree  of  warmth  the  whole  night  following. 
I  continued  very  full  of  pain  all  night  ;  and  in  the 
morning  had  a  very  hard  fever,  and  pains  almofl  all 

over 


Mr.   DAVID   BR  AI  NERD.        109 

over  my  whole  body.  I  had  a  fenfe  of  the  divine 
goodnefsin  appointing  this  to  be  the  place  of  my  fick- 
nefs,  viz.  among  my  friends  that  were  very  kind  to 
me.  I  Ihould  probably  have  perifhed,  if  I  had  firft 
got  home  to  my  own  houfe  in  the  wildernefs,  where 
I  have  none  to  converfe  with  but  the  poor  rude  ig- 
norant Indians.  Here  I  faw  was  mercy  in  the  midft 
ofafflidtion.  I  continued  thus,  moftly  confined  to 
my  bed,  until  Friday  night ;  very  full  of  pain  moll: 
of  the  time ;  but  through  divine  goodnefs  not  afraid 
of  death.  Then  the  extreme  folly  of  thofe  appeared 
to  me,  who  put  off  their  turning  ^  God  until  a  fick 
bed.  Surely  this  is  not  a  time  proper  to  prepare  for 
eternity.  On  Friday  evening  my  pains  went  off 
fomething  fuddenly ;  and  I  was  exceeding  weak, 
and  almoft  fainted  }  but  was  very  comfortable  the 
night  following.  Thofe  words  Pfal.  cxviii.  17,  I 
frequently  revolved  in  my  mind  ;  and  thought  we 
were  to  prize  the  continuation  of  life  only  on  this 
account, ^that  we  may  Jhew  forth  God's  goodnefs  and 
works  of  grace. 

[From  this  time,  he  gradually  recovered  :  And 
on  the  next  Tuefday  was  fo  well  as  to  be  able  to  go 
forward  on  his  journey  homewards  :  But  was  until 
the  Tuefday  following  before  he  reached  Kaunau- 
meek.  And  feems,  great  part  of  this  imm,  to  have 
had  a  very  deep  and  lively  fenfe  of  the  vanity  and 
emptinefs  of  all  things  here  below,  and  of  the  real- 
ity, nearnefs  and  vaft  importance  of  eternal  things.] 

Tuefday,  OBober  4. — This  day  rode  home  to  my 
own  houfe  and  people.  The  poor  Indians  appear- 
ed very  glad  of  my  return.  Found  my  houfe  and 
all  things  in  fafety.  I  prefently  fell  on  my  knees 
and  blefled  God  for  my  fafe  return,  after  a  long  and 
tedious  journey,  and  a  feafon  of  ficknefs  in  fcveral 
places  where  I  had  been,  and  after  I  had  been  fick 
myfelf.     God  has  renewed  his  kindnefs  to  me,  in 

preferving 


Jio  Th  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

preferving  me  one  journey  more.  I  have  taken  nia- 
ny  confiderable  journeys  fince  this  time  laft  year, 
and  yet  God  has  never  fufFered  one  of  my  bones  to 
be  broken,  or  any  diftreffing  calamity  to  befal  me, 
exceptir.g  the  ill  turn  I  had  in  my  laft  journey ; 
though  I  have  been  often  expofed  to  cold  and  hun- 
ger in  the  wildernefs,  where  the  comforts  of  life 
were  not  to  be  had  ;  have  frequently  been  loft  in  the 
woods  ;  and  fometimes  obliged  to  ride  much  of  the 
night ;  and  once  lay  out  in  the  woods  all  night. 
BleiTed  be  God  that  has  preferred  me. 

[In  his  Diary  for  the  next  eleven  days,  are  great 
complaints  of  diftance  from  God,fpiritual  pride,  cor- 
ruption, and  exceeding  vilenefs.  He  once  fays,  his 
heart  was  fo  preffed  with  a  fenfe  of  his  pollution, 
that  he  could  fcarcely  have  the  face  and  impudence 
(as  it  then  appeared  to  him)  to  defire  that  God 
ihould  not  damn  him  forever.  And  at  another  time, 
he  fays  he  had  fo  little  fenfe  of  God,  orappreheniion 
and  relifti  of  his  glory  and  excellency,  that  it  made 
him  more  difpofed  to  kindnefs  and  tendernefs  to- 
wards thofe  who  are  blind  and  ignorant  of  God  and 
things  divine  and  heavenly.] 

Lord*s  Dayy  O£lober  i6. — In  the  evening,  God 
was  pleaijsd  to  give  me  a  feeling  fenfe  of  my  own 
unworthflps  j  but  through  divine  goodnefs  fuchas 
tended  to  draw,  rather  than  drive  me  from  God  :  It 
filled  me  with  folemnity.  I  retired  alone  (having 
at  this  time  a  friend  with  me)  and  poured  out  my 
foul  to  God  with  much  freedom  ;  and  yet  in  an- 
guifti,  to  find  myfelf  ib  unfpeakably  iinful  and  un- 
worthy before  a  holy  God.  Was  now  much  refign- 
ed  under  God's  difpenfations  towards  me,  though 
my  trials  had  been  very  great.  But  thought  wheth- 
er I  could  be  refigned,  if  God  Ihould  let  the  French 
Indians  come  upon  me,  and  deprive  me  of  my  life, 
or  carry  me  away  captive  (though  I  knew  of  no  fpe- 

cial 


Mr.   DAVID  BRAINERD.       in 

clal  reafon  then  to  propofe  this  trial  to  myfelf,  more 
than  any  other)  and  my  foul  feemed  fo  far  to  reft 
and  acquiefce  in  God,  that  the  fling  and  terror  of 
thefe  things  feemed  in  a  great  meafure  gone.  Pref- 
ently  after  I  came  to  the  Indians,  whom  I  was  teach- 
ing to  fing  pfalm  tunes  that  evening,  I  received  the 
following  letter  from  Stockbridge,  by  a  mefTenger 
fent  on  the  Sabbath  on  purpofe,  which  made  it  ap- 
pear of  greater  importance. 

*'  Sify  Juft  now  we  received  advices  from  Col. 
Stoddard,  that  there  is  the  utmoft  danger  of  a  rup- 
ture with  France.  He  has  received  the  fame  from 
his  Excellency  our  Governour,  ordering  him  to  give 
notice  to  all  the  expofed  places,  that  they  may  fe- 
cure  themfelves  the  beft  they  can  againft  any  fudden 
invafion.  We  thought  beft  to  fend  dire(5lly  to  Kau- 
naumeek,  that  you  may  take  the  prudenteftmeafures 
for  your  fafety  that  dwell  there.     I  am,  Sir,  &c." 

I  thought,  upon  reading  the  contents,  it  came  in 
a  good  feafon  ;  for  my  heart  feemed  fomething  fix- 
ed on  God,  and  therefore  I  was  not  much  furprifed: 
But  this  news  only  made  me  the  more  ferious,  and 
taught  me  that  I  muft  not  pleafe  myfelf  with  any  of 
the  comforts  of  life  which  I  had  been  preparing  for 
my  fupport.  Bleffed  be  God,  that  gave  me  any  in- 
tenfenefs  and  fervency  this  evening. 

Mofiday,  O^ober  17. — Had  fome  rifing  hopes 
fometimes,  that  God  would  arife  and  have  mercy  on 
Zion,  fpeedily.  My  heart  is  indeed  refreflied,  when 
I  have  any  prevailing  hopes  of  Zion's  profperity. 
O  that  I  may  fee  that  glorious  day,  when  Zion  ftiall 
become  the  joy  of  the  whole  earth  I  Truly  there  is 
nothing  that  I  greatly  value  in  this  lower  world. 

[On  Tuefday,  he  rode  to  Stockbridge;  complains 
of  being  much  diverted,  and  having  but  little  life. 
On  Wednefday,  he  expreffes  fome  folemn  fenfe  of 
divine  things,  and  a  longing  to  be  always  doing  for 
GcKi  with  a  godly  frame  of  fpirit.] 

Saturday, 


lU  TheLIFEof 

Saturday,  OBpber  22. — Had  but  little  fenfible  com- 
munion with  God.  This  world  is  a  dark  cloudy 
manfion.  O,  when  will  the  Sun  of  righteoufnefs 
fhine  on  my.  foul  without  ceflation  or  intermiflion. 

hard's  Day,  OBober  23. — In  the  morning,  had  a 
little  dawn  of  comfort  arifing  from  hopes  of  feeing 
glorious  days  in  the  church  of  God  :  Was  enabled 
to  pray  for  fuch  a  glorious  day  with  fome  courage, 
and  ftrength  of  hope.  In  the  forenoon,  treated  on 
the  glories  of  heaven,  &;c.  In  the  afternoon,  on  the 
miferies  of  hell,  and  the  danger  of  going  there.  Had 
fome  freedom  and  warmth,  both  parts  of  the  day. 
And  my  people  were  very  attentive.  In  the  even- 
ing, two  or  three  came  to  me  under  concern  for  their 
fouls  ;  to  whom  I  was  enabled  to  difcourfe  clofely, 
and  with  fome  earneftnefs  and  defire.  O  that  God 
would  be  merciful  to  their  poor  fouls. 

[He  fecms,  through  the  whole  of  this  week,  \.o 
have  been  greatly  engaged  to  fill  up  every  inch  of 
time  in  the  fervice  of  God,  and  to  have  been  moft 
diligently  employed  in  fludy,  prayer,  and  inftru^t- 
jng  the  Indians  ;  and  from  time  to  time  expreffes 
longings  of  foul  after  God,  and  the  advancement  of 
his  kingdom,  and  fpiritual  comfort  and  refrefhment.] 

Lories  Day,  OBober  30. — In  the  morning  enjoyed 
fome  fixednefs  of  foul  in  prayerj  which  was  indeed 
fweet  and  defirable  :  Was  enabled  to  leave  myfelf 
with  God,  and  to  acquiefce  in  him.  At  noon,  my 
foul  was  refrefhed  with  reading  Rev.  iii.  moreefpec- 
ially  the  I  ith  and  I2th  verfes.  O  my  foul  longed 
for  that  bleffed  day,  when  I  Ihould  dwell  in  the  tem^ 
pie  of  God,  and  go  tio  more  out  of  his  immediate  pref- 
ence  ! 

Monday,  OBober  31. — Rode  to  Kinderhook,  about 
fifteen  miles  from  my  place.  While  riding,  I  felt 
fome  divine  fweetnefs  in  the  thoughts  of  being  2i  pil- 
lar in  the  temple  of  God  m  the  upper  world,  and  be- 
ing 


Mr.   DAVID   BRAINERD.        113 

ing  no  more  deprived  of  his  blefTed  prefence  and  the 
fenfe  of  his  favour,  which  is  better  than  life.  My 
foul  was  fo  lifted  up  to  God,  that  I  could  pour  out 
my  defires  to  him,  for  more  grace  and  further  de- 
grees of  fandtification,  v/ith  abundant  freedom.  O, 
I  longed  to  be  more  abundantly  prepared  for  that 
blcffednefs,  with  which  I  was  then  in  fome  meafurc 
refrefhed  !  Returned  home  in  the  evening  ;  but  took 
an  extremely  bad  cold  by  riding  in  the  night. 

Tuefday,  November  i. — Was  very  much  diforder- 
ed  in  body,  and  fometimes  full  of  pain  in  my  face 
and  teeth  :  Was  not  able  to  ftudy  much,  and  had  not 
much  fpiritual  comfort.  Alas,  when  God  is  with- 
drawn, all  is  gone  !  Had  fome  fweet  thoughts  which 
I  could  not  but  write  down,  on  the  defign,  nature, 
and  end  of  chrirtianity. 

Thiirfday,  November  '^. — Spent  this  day  in  fecret 
fafting  and  prayer  from  morning  until  night.     Ear- 
ly in  the  morning,  had  (I  think)  fome  fmall  degree 
of  affiflance  in  prayer.     Afterwards,  read  the  ftory 
of  Elijah  the  prophet,  i  Kings,  xvii.  xviii.  and  xix. 
chapters,  and  alfo,  2  Kings  ii.  and  iv.  chapters.  My 
foul  was  much  moved,  obfcrving  the  faith,  zeal  and 
power  of  that  holy  man  ;  how  he  wreftled  with  God 
in  prayer,  &c.     My  foul  then  cried  with  Elifha, 
Where  is  the  Lord  God  of  Elijah  ?  O,  I  longed  for 
more  faith  !  My  foul  breathed  after  God,  and  plead- 
ed with  him,  that   a  double  portion   of  that  fpirit, 
which  was  given  to  Elijah,  might  reft  on  me.    And 
that  which  was  divinely  refrefhing  and  ftrengthen- 
ing  to  my  foul,  was,  I  faw  that  God  is  the  fame  that 
he  was  in  the  days  of  Elijah.    Was  enabled  to  wrcf- 
tie  w'ith  God  by  prayer,  in  a  more  afFedtionate,  fer- 
vent, humble,  intenfeand  importunate  manner,  than 
I  have  for  many  months  paft.     Nothing  feemed  too 
hard  for  God  to  perform';  nothing  too  great  for  me 
to  hope  for  from  him.     1  had  for  many  months  en- 

H  tirely 


114  TheLIFEof 

tirely  loft:  all  hopes  of  being  made  inftrumental  of 
doing  any  fpecial  fervice  for  God  in  the  world  :  It 
has  appeared  entirely  impollible,  that  one  i'o  black 
and  vile  fhould  be. thus  improved  for  God  :  But  at 
this  time  God  was  pleafed  to  revive  this  hope.  Af- 
tei*wards  read  the  iii.  chap,  of  Exod.  and  on  to  the 
XX.  and  favv  more  of  the  glory  and  majefty  of  God 
difcovered  in  thofe  chapters,  than  ever  I  had  feen  be- 
fore ;  frequently  in  the  mean  time  falling  on  my 
knees  and  crying  to  God  for  the  faith  of  Mofes,  and 
for  a  manifeftation  of  the  divine  glory.  Efpecially 
the  iii.  and  iv.  and  part  of  thexiv.  and  xv.  chapters, 
"were  unfpeakably  fweet  to  my  foul  :  My  foul  blefT- 
ed  God,  that  he  had  fliewn  himlelf  fo  gracious  to 
his  fervants  of  old.  The  xv.  chapter  feemed  to  be 
the  very  language  which  my  foul  uttered  to  God  in 
the  feafon  of  my  firll  fpiritual  comfort,  when  I 
had  jufl  got  through  the  red  fea,  by  a  way  that  I  had 
no  expe(5tation  of.  O  how  my  foul  then  rejoiced  in 
God  !  And  now  thofe  things  came  frefti  and  lively 
to  my  mind  ;  now  my  foul  blcfTed  God  afrefh,  that 
he  had  opened  that  unthought  of  way  to  deliver  me 
from  the  fear  of  the  Egyptians,  when  I  almoil  def- 
paired  of  life.  Afterwards  read  the  ftory  of  Abra- 
ham's pilgrimage  in  the  land  of  Canaan  :  My  foul 
was  melted,  in  obferving  his  faith,  how  he  leaned 
on  God  j  how  he  communed  with  God,  and  what 
a  ftranger  he  was  here  in  the  world.  After  that, 
read  the  ilory  of  Jofeph*s  fufferings,  and  God's  good- 
nefs  to  him  :  BleiTed  God  for  thefe  examples  of  faith 
and  patience.  My  foul  was  ardent  in  prayer,  was 
enabled  to  wrcftle  ardently  for  myfelf,  for  chrift:ian 
friends,  and  for  the  church  of  God.  And  felt  more  de- 
lire  to  fee  the  power  of  God  in  the  converfion  of  fouls, 
thun  I  have  done  for  a  long  feafon.  BlefTed  be  God  for 
this  feaibn  of  fafting  and  prayer.  May  his  goodncfs 
always  abide  with  me,  and  draw  my  foul  to  him. 

Monday, 


Mr.   DAVID   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.        115 

Monday,  November  7. — This  morning,  the  Lord 
afforded  me  feme  f'pecial  afTiftance  in  prayer  :  My 
mind  was  folemn,  fixed,  afFed:ionate,  and  ardent  in 
defires  after  holinefs  ;  and  felt  full  of  tendernefs 
and  love  ;  and  my  affedions  feemed  to  be  diffolved 
into  kindnefs  and  foftnefs.  In  the  evening,  enjoy- 
ed the  fame  comfortable  afliflance  in  prayer,  as  in 
the  morning  :  My  foul  longed  after  God,  and  cried 
to  him  with  a  filial  freedom,  reverence  and  boldnefs. 
O  that  I  might  be  entirely  confecrated  and  devoted 
to  God. 

[The  two  next  days,  he  complains  of  bodily  ill- 
nefb  and  pain  ;  but  miuch  more  of  fpiritual  barren- 
nefs  and  unprofitablenefs.] 

Thurfday,  ISlovember  10. — Spent  this  day  in  fafling 
and  prayer  alone.  In  the  morning,  was  very  dull 
and  lifelefs ;  was  Ibmething  melancholy  and  difcour- 
aged.  But  after  fome  time,  reading  2  Kings  xix,. 
chapter,  m*y  Ibul  was  moved  and  affecSted  ;  efpecial- 
ly  reading  verfe  14.  and  onward.  I  faw  there  was 
no  other  way  for  the  afHid:ed  children  of  God  to 
take,  but  to  go  to  God  v/ith  all  their  forrovvs.  Hez- 
ekiah,.  in  his  great  diftrefs,  went  and  fpread  his  com- 
plaint before  the  Lord.  I  was  then  enabled  to  fee 
the  mighty  power  of  God,  and  m.y  extreme  need  of 
that  power :  Was  enabled  to  cry  to  God  afFe(5tionately 
and  ardently  for  his  divine  power  and  grace  to  be 
cxercifed  towards  me.  Afterwards,  read  the  flory 
of  David's  trials,  and  obferved  the  courfe  he  took 
under  them,  how  he^ftrengthened  his  hands  in  God  ; 
whereby  my  foul  was  carried  out  after  God,  enabled 
to  cry  to  him  and  rely  upon  him,  and  felt  Jlrong  in 
the  Lord.  Was  afterwards  refrefhed,  obferving  the 
blefled  temper  that  was  wrought  in  David  by  his 
trials  :  All  bitternefs  and  defire  of  revenge  feemed 
wholly  taken  away  ;  fo  that  he  mourned  for  the 
death  of  his  enemies ;  2  Sam.  i.  17.  and  iv.  9.  ad  fin. 

Ha  Was 


ii6  The    LIFE    of 

Was  enabled .^o  blefs  God,  that  he  had  pven  me 
fomething  of  this  divine  temper,  that  my  foul  free- 
ly forgives,  and  heartily  loves  my  enemies. 
:^[lt  appears  by  his  Diary  for  the  remaining  part  of 
this  week,  and  for  the  two  following  weeks,  that 
great  part  of  the  time  he  was  very  ill  and  full  of 
pain  ;  and  yet  obliged  through  his  circumftances,  in 
this  ill  ftate  of  body,  to  be  at  great  fatigues,  in  la- 
bour, and  travelling  day  and  night,  and  to  expofe 
iiimfelf,  in  flormy  and  fevere  feafons.  He,  from 
time  to  time,  within  this  fpace,  fpeaks  of  outgoings 
of  foul  after  God  $  his  heart  ftrengthened  in  God  ; 
feafons  of  divine  fweetnefs  and  comfort  ;  his  heart 
afFed:ed  with  gratitude  for  mercies,  &c.  And  yet 
there  are  many  complaints  of  lifelefTnefs,  weaknefs 
of  grace,  diftance  from  God,  and  great  unprofitable- 
nefs.  But  ftill  there  appears  a  conftant  care,  from  day 
to  day,  not  to  lofe  time,  but  to  improve  it  all  for  God.] 

Lord^s  Day,  Nouember  27. — In  the  evening,  was 
greatly  affedled  in  reading  an  account  of  the  very  joy- 
ful death  of  a  pious  gentleman  ;  which  feemed  to 
invigorate  my  foul  in  God's  ways  :  I  felt  courageouf- 
ly  engaged  to  purfue  a  life  of  holinefs  and  felf  deni- 
al as  long  as  I  live  ;  and  poured  out  my  foul  to  God 
for  his  help  and  aiTiifance  in  order  thereto.  Eternity 
then  feemed  near,  and  my  foul  rejoiced,  and  longed 
to  meet  it.  O,  I  truft,  that  will  be  a  bleffed  day, 
that  finilhes  my  toil  here  ! 

Monday,  November  28. — In  the  evening,  was  oblig- 
ed to  fpend  time  in  company  and  converfation  that 
was  unprofitable.  Nothing  lies  heavier  upon  me, 
than  the  mifimprovement  of  time. 

Tuejday,  Nove-mber  29. — Began  to  ftudy  the  Indian 
tongue,  with  Mr  Sargeant,  at  Stockbridge*.     Was 

perplexed 

*  The  Commifrioners  that  employed  him,  had  direfted  him  to  fpcnd  much  time 
this  v\inti;r  widi  Mr.  Sargeant,  to  Icarn  the  langu.-.gc  of  the  iDdiaiis  ;  which  necelli- 
tated  him  very  oficn  to  r.de,  backwards  and  forwards,  20  milts  through  the  anin- 
fcab'tedwccds  between  Stockbridge  and  Kaunaumctk  ;  wluch  many  times  exposed 
iumto  cxtumc  haidihip  in  the  icverc  leafous  bf  the  winter. 


Mr.   DAVID   BRAINERD.        117 

perplexed  for  want  of  more  retireraent.  I  love  to 
live  alone  in  my  own  little  cottage,  where  I  can 
fpend  much  time  in  prayer,  &c. 

Wednefday,  November  30. — Purfued  my  iludy  of 
Indian  :  But  was  very  weak  and  difordered  in  body, 
and  was  troubled  in  mind  at  the  barrennefs  of  the 
day, that  I  had  done  fo  little  for  God.  I  had  fome 
enlargement  in  prayer  at  night.  O,  a  barn,  or  fta- 
ble,  hedge  or  any  other  place,  is  truly  defirable,  if 
God  is  there  !  Sometimes,  of  late,  my  hopes  of  Zi- 
on*s  profperity  are  more  raifed,  than  they  were  \n 
the  fummer  paft.  My  foul  feems  to  confide  in  God, 
that  he  will  ytt  Jhew  forth  his JahaUonto  his  people; 
and  make  Zion  the  joy  of  the  whole  earth.  O  htiwekl 
cellent  is  the  loving  kindnefs  of  the  Lord  I  My  foul 
fometimes  inwardly  exults  at  the  lively  thoughts  of 
what  God  has  already  done  for  his  church,  and  what 
mine  eyes  have  fee n  of  the  filvationof'God.  -^it'-i^? 
fweet,  to  hear  nothing  but  fpiritual  difcourfe'from 
God's  children  ;  and  finners  inquiring  the  zvay-'to 
Zion,  hying,  Whatjhallwe-do^&c.  .^Ot-haPl  mfay-feg 
more  of  this  blelTed  work  \  -•'  nt 

Thurfdciy,  December  i. — Both  morning  and-^^t'ftl 
ing,  I  enjoyed  fome  intenfenefs  ot  foul- in  prayer,^i^T[i 
longed  for  the  enlargement  of  Chrift's  kjngdom-'ii 
the  world.  My  foul  feems  of  late,  to  wait  on  God 
for  his  bleffing  on  Zion.  O  that  religion  miglupow- 
crfullv  revive  ! 

Friday,  December  1. — Enjoyed  not  fo  much  health 
of  body,  or  fervour  of  mind  as  yefterday.  If  the 
chariot  wheels  move  with  eafe  and  fpced  at  any 
time,  for  a  fhort  fpace  j  yet  by  and  by  they  drive 
heavily  agaiji.  O  that  I  had  the  wings  of  a  dove, 
that  I  might  fly  away  from  fin  and  corruption,  and 
be  at  reft  in  God  ! 

Saturday,  December  3. — Rode  home,  to  my  houfe 
and  people.     Suffered  much  with  the  extreme  cold, 

H3  I 


Ii8  TheLIFEof 

I  trurt:,  I  fliall, before  long,  arrive  fafe  at  my  journey's 
end,  where  my  toils  fhall  ceafe. 

Lord's  Day,  December  \. — Had  but  little  fenfe  of 
divine  and  heavenly  things.  My  foul  mourns  over 
my  barrennefs.     O  how  fad  is  fpiritual  deadnefs  ! 

Tuefdayy  December  6. — Was  perplexed  to  fee  the 
vanity  and  levity  of  profelfed  chriltians.  Spent  the 
evening  with  a  chriftian  friend,  that  was  able  in 
iome  meafure  to  fympathize  with  me  in  my  fpirit- 
ual confli(51:s.  Was  a  little  refreflied  to  find  one  with 
whom  I  could  converfe  of  inward  trials,  &c. 

Wednefday,  December  7.' — Spent  the  evening  m 
perplexity,  with  a  kind  of  guilty  indolence.  When 
I  have  no  heart  or  refolution  for  God  and  the  duties 
incumbent  on  me,  1  feel  guilty  of  negligence  and 
mifimprovement  of  time.  Certainly  1  ought  to  be 
engaged  in  my  work  and  bufinefs,  to  the  utmoft  ex- 
tent of  my  ftrength  and  ability. 

Thurfday,  December  8. — My  mind  was  much  dif- 
tradled  with  different  affecStions.  Seemed  to  be  at 
an  amazing  diflance  from  God  :  And  looking  round 
in  the  world,  to  fee  if  there  was  not  fome  happincfs 
to  be  derived  from  it,  God,  and  fome  certain  objects 
in  the  world,  feemed  each  to  invite  my  heart  and  af- 
fections ;  and  my  foul  feemed  to  be  diftradled  be- 
tween them.  1  have  not  been  {o  much  befet  with 
the  world  for  a  long  time  ;  and  that  with  relation  to 
fome  particular  objecfts  which  I  thought  myfelfmoft 
dead  to.  But  even  while  I  was  defiring  to  pleafe 
myfelfwith  any  thing  below,  guilt,  forrovvand  per- 
plexity attended  the  firft  motions  of  defire.  Indeed 
I  cannot  fee  the  appearance  of  plcafure  and  happi- 
nefs  in  the  world,  as  I  ufed  to  do  :  And  blclTed  be 
God  for  any  habitual  deadnefs  to  the  world.  I 
found  no  peace,  or  deliverance  from  this  diflra(5tioa 
and  perplexity  of  niind,  until  I  found  accefs  to  the 
throne  of  grace  :  And  as  foon  as  I  had  any  fenfe  of 

God 


Mr.   DAVID  BRAINERD.       119 

God  and  things  divine,  the  allurements  of  the  world 
vaniflied,  and  my  heart  was  determined  for  God. 
But  my  foul  mourned  over  my  folly,  that  I  fhould. 
defire  any  pleafure,  but  only  in  God.  God  forgive 
my  fpiritual  idolatry. 

Saturday,  December  24. — Had  fome  afliftance,  and 
longing  delires  after  fand:ification,  in  prayer,  this 
day  j  efpecially  in  the  evening  :  Was  fenfibleof  my 
own  weaknefs  and  fpiritual  impotency  :  Saw  plain- 
ly, I  fhould  fall  into  fin,  if  God  of  his  abundant 
mercy  did  not  uphold  my  foul,  and  withhold  me  from 
evil.     O  that  God  would  uphold  me  by  his  free  fpirity 
zndfave  me  from  the  hour  of  temptation, 
•   hordes  Day,  December  25. — Prayed  much,  in  the 
morning,  with  a  feeling  fenfe  of  my  own  fpiritual 
weaknefs  and  inful?iciency  for  any  duty.     God  gave 
me  fome  afliftance  in  preaching  to  the  Indians  j  and 
efpecially  in  the  afternoon,  when  I  was  enabled  \o 
fpeak  with  uncommon  plainnefs,  freedom,  and  earn- 
eflneis.    Bleifed  be  God  for  any  alTiflance  granted  to 
one  fo  unworthy.     Afterwards  felt  fome  thankful- 
fulnefs  J  but  ffill  fenfibleof  barrennefs.     Spent  fome 
time  in  the  evening,  with  one  or  two  perfons  under 
fpiritual  concern,  and  exhorting  others  to  their  du- 
ty, &c. 

Monday,  December  16. — Rode  down  to  Stock- 
bridge.  Was  very  much  fatigued  with  my  journey, 
wherein  I  underwent  great  hardfhip  :  Was  much 
cxpofed  and  very  wet  by  falling  into  a  river.  Spent 
the  day  and  evening  without  much  fenfe  of  divine 
and  heavenly  things  ;  but  felt  guilty,  grieved,  and 
perplexed  with  wandering  carelefs  thoughts. 

Tuefday,   December  27. — Had  a  fmall  degree   of 
warmth  in  fecret  prayer,  in  the  evening:    But,  alas, 
had  but  little  fpiritual  life,  and  confequently  but  lit- 
^   tie  comfort  !  O,  the  prefTurc  of  a  body  xf  death  ! 

H  4  Wediiefday  y 


120  The    life    of 

iWeinefdayt  December  28. — Rode  about  fix  miles, 
to  the  ordlination  of  Mr.  Hopkins.  In  the  feafon 
of  the  folemnity  was  fomewhat  affedted  with  a  fenfe 
of  the  greatnefs  and  importance  of  the  work  of  a 
minifter  of  Chrift.  Afterwards  was  grieved  to  fee 
the  vanity  of  the  multitude.  In  the  evening,  fpent 
a  little  time  with  fome  chriftian  friends,  with  fomc 
degree  of  fatisfa6tion  ;  but  moit  of  the  time  had 
rather  have  been  alon^,     '        ^ 

Hburfday^  .December  OS). — Spent  the  day  mainly  in 
conver-fing  with  friends  ;  yet  enjoyed  little  fatisfac- 
tion,  becaufe  I  eould  find  but  few  difpofed  to  cori- 
verfe  of  divine  and  heavenly  things.  Alas,  what 
are  things  of  this  world,  to  aflford  fatisfa<5tion  to  |he 
foul  !  Near  night,  returned  to  Stockbridge  ;  in  fecret 
bleffed  God  for  retirement,  and  that  I  be  not  always 
expofed  to  the  company  and  converfation  of  the 
world.  O  that  I  could  live  in  the  fecret  of  God's  pref^. 
er^ef  ,_,,._  ■■:'■:.  <     •■.-■  ■'■.  •:- • 

Friday,  December  30. — Was  in,  a  folerpn  devQi^t 
frame  in  the  e;yening.  Wondered  that  ^arth.  with 
all  its  charms,  fhould  ever  allure  me  in  the  leiift  de- 
gree. .  O  that  I  could  always  realize  the.being  and 
holinefs  of  God. 

Saturday,  December  31. — Rode  from  Stockbridge, 
home  to  my  houfe  :  The  air  was  clear  and  calm, 
but  as, cold  as  ever  I  felt  it  in  the  wopid,  or  near.  I 
was  in  great  danger  of  perilhing  by  the  extremity  of 
the  feafon.  Was  enabled  to  meditate  much  on  the 
road. 

Lord's  Day,  January  i,  i743,.4.-^In  the  morning, 
had  fome  fmall  degree  of  alTiftance  in  prayer.  Saw 
myfelf  fo  vile  and  unworthy,  that  I  could  not  look 
my  people  in  the  face,  when  I  came  to  preach. 
O,  my  meanncfs,  folly,  ignorance,  and  inward  pollu- 
tion !  In  the  evening,  had  a  little  afliftance  in  prayer, 
fo  that  the  duty  was  delightfome,  rather  than  bur- 

denfome. 


Mr.    DAVID  BR  AI  nerd.      121 

denfome;  Refled:edon  the  goodnefsof  God  to  me  ia 
the  paftyear,  &c.  BlelTed  be  the  Lord,  that  has  carri- 
ed me  through  all  the  toils,  fatigues,  and  hardfhips  of 
the  year  paft,  as  well  as  the  fpiritual  forrovvs  and  con- 
flicfis.  that  have  attended  it.  O  that  I  could  begin 
this  year  with  God,  and  fpend  the  whole  of  it  to  his 
glory,  either  in  life  or  death. 

Monday,  Jajiuaiy  2. — Had  fome  affefting  fenfe 
of  my  own  impotency  and  fpiritual  weakneis.  It 
is  nothing  but  the  power  of  God  that  keeps  me  from 
all  manner  of  wickednefs.  .  I  lee  I  am  nothing,  and 
can  do  nothing  without  help  from  above.  O,  for  di- 
vine grace  !  In  the  evening,  had  fome  ardour  of  foul 
in  prayer,  and  longing  deftres  to  have  God  for  my 
guide  and  fafeguard  at  all  times. 

Wednefday,  January  4.— Was  in  a  refigned  and 
mortified  temper  of  mind,  much  of  the  day.  Time 
appeared  a  moment,  life  a  vapour,  and  all  its  enjoy-< 
ments  as  empty  bubbles,  and  fleeting  blafts  of  wind. 

Thurfdayj'ja?juary  <^, — Had  a  humbling  and  preff- 
ing  fenle  of  my  unworthinefs.  My  fenfe  of  the 
badnefs  of  my  own  heart  filjed  my  foul  with  bitter- 
nefs  and  anguifli  ;  which  was  ready  to  fink,  as,  un- 
der the  weight  of  a  heavy,  burden.  And  thus  fpent 
the  evening,  until  late.  Was  fomewhat  intcnfe  and 
ardent  in  prayer.  •:  :  •   ; 

Friday,  January  6. — Feeling  and  confidering  my 
extreme  weaknefs,,  and  want  of  grace,  the  pollution 
ot  rny  foul,  and  danger  of  temptations  on  every  fide, 
i  fet  apart  this  day  for  fafling  and  prayer,  neither 
eating  nor  drinking  from  evening  to  evening,  be- 
feeching  God  to  have  mercy  on  me.  And  my  foul 
intenfely  longed,  that  the  dreadlul  fpots  and  ftains  of 
fin  might  be  walhed  away  from  it.  Saw  fomething 
of  the  power  and  all  fufliciency  of  God.  My  foul 
feemed  to  reft  on  his  power  and  grace  ;  longed  for 
refignation  to  his  will,  and  mortification  to  all  things 

here 


122  T  H  fi      L  I  F  E     O  F 

here  below.     My  mind  was  greatly  fixed  on  divine 
things  :  My  refolutions  for  a  life  of  mortification, 
continual  watchfulnefs,  felf  denial,  feriouinefs,  and 
devotion  to  God,  were  ftrong  and  fixed  ;  my  defires 
ardent  and  intenfe ;  my  confcience  tender,  and  afraid 
of  every  appearance  of  evil.     My  foul  grieved  with 
the  refledlion  on  paft  levity,  and  want  of  refolution 
for  God.   Ifolemnly  renewed  my  dedication  of  my- 
felf  to  God,  and  longed  for  grace  to  enable  me  al- 
ways to  keep  covenant  with  him.     Time  appeared 
very  fhort,  eternity  near ;  and  a  great  name,  either 
in  or  after  life,  together  with  all  earthly  pleafures 
and  profits,  but  an  empty  bubble,  a  deluding  dream. 
-  Saturday,  'January  7. — Spent  this  day  in  fcriouf- 
nefs,  with  (tedfafl:  refolutions  for  God  and  a  life  of 
mortification.     Studied  clofely,  until  I  felt  my  bod- 
ily ftrength  fail.     Felt  fome  degree  of  refignation  to 
God,  with  an  acquiefcence  in  his  difpenfations.  Was 
grieved,  that  I  could  do  fo  little  for  God  before  my 
bodily  flrength  failed.   In  the  evening,  though  tired, 
5pet  was  enabled  to  continue  inftant  in  prayer  for 
fome  time.     Spent  the  time  in  reading,  meditation, 
and  prayer,  until  the  evening  was  far  fpent  :    Was 
grieved,  to  think  that  I  could  not  watch  unto  prayer 
the  whole  night.  But  bleffed  be  God, heaven  is  a  place 
of  continual  and  inceflant  devotion,  though  earth  is 
dull. 

[The  fix  days  following,  he  continued  in  the 
fame  happy  frame  of  mind  ;  enjoyed  the  fame  com- 
pofurc,  calmnefs,  refignation,  ardent  defireand  fweet 
fervency  of  fpirit,  in  a  high  degree,  every  day,  not 
one  excepted,  Tburfday,  this  week,  he  kept  as  a 
day  of  fecret  fafting  and  prayer.] 

Saturday,  'January  14. — This  morning,  enjoyed  a 
moft  folemn  feafon  in  prayer  :  My  foul  feemed  en- 
larged and  afTifled  to  pour  out  itfelf  to  God  for  grace, 
and  for  every  bleiTing  I  wanted,  for  myfeli,  my  dear 

chriftian 


M  R.   D  A  V  I  D  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.         123 

chriftian  friends,  and  for  the  Church  of  God  ;  and 
was  fo  enabled  to  fee  him  who  is  invijible,  that  my 
foul  refted  upon  him  for  the  performance  of  every 
thing  I  afked  agreeable  to  his  will.  It  was  then  ni}'- 
happinefs  to  continue  inflant  in  prayer,  and  was  en- 
abled to  continue  in  it  for  near  an  hour.  My  foul 
was  ih^njlrong  in  the  Lord  and  in  the  power  of  his 
might :  Longed  exceedingly  for  angelick'  holinefs 
and  purity,  and  to  have  all  my  thoughts,  at  all  times,, 
employed  in  divine  and  heavenly  things.  O  how 
hlcffed  is  an  heavenly  temper  !  O  how  unfpeakably 
bleffed  it  is,  to  feel  a  meafure  of  that  recl:itude,  iri 
which  we  weredfftrft  created  1  'Fek  the  fame  di- 
vine afliftance  in  prh^'er  fundry  times  in  theday.  My 
foul  confided  in  God  for  myfelf,  and  for  his  Ziori;; 
frufted  in  divine  power  and  grace,  that  he  would  do 
glorious  things  in  his  church,  on  earth,  for  his  oivtp 
glory. 

Monday,  "January  %1. — [At  Salifbury]  I  think  I 
never  felt  more  refigned  to  God,  nor  fo  much  dead 
to  the  world,  in  every  refpedt,   as  now  :  Was  dead. 
,  to  all  defire  of  reputation  and  greatnefs,  either  in  life: 
!  or  after  death  :   All  1  longed  for,  was  to  be  holy, 
humble,  crucified  to  the  world,  &c. 

Tuefday,  'January  24. — Near  noon,  rode  over  to  Ca- 
naan. In  the  evening,  was  unexpectedly  vifited  by  a 
confiderable  number  of  people,  with  whom  I  was  en- 
abled to  converfe  profitably  of  divine  things  :  Took 
pains  to  defcribe  the  difference  between  a  regular  and 
irregular  felf  love :  The  one  confining  with  a  fupremc 
love  to  God,  but  the  other  not  ;  the  former  uniting 
Cod's  gloryandthe  foul's  happinefs,  that  they  become 
one  common  interelf,  but  the  latter  disjoining  and 
feparating  God's  glory  and  the  man's  happinct's, 
feeking  the  latter  with  a  ncgledt  of  the  formef. 
Illuftrated  this  by  that  genuine  love  that  is  found  be- 
tween the  fexcs  j  which  is  divcrfe  from  that  whic  1 


1 24  The    LIFE    of 

is  wrought  up  towards  a  perfon  only  by  rational  ar- 
guments, or  hope  of  lelf  intereft.  Love  is  a  pleai- 
ing  paffion,  it  affords  pleafure  to  the  mind  where  it: 
is ;  but  yet  true  genuine  love  is  not  nor  can  be  placed 
upon  any  object  with  that  defign  of  pleafing  itfelf 
with  the  feeling  of  it  in  a  man's  own  breaft. 

[On  Wednefday,  he  rode  to  Sheffield  ;  the  next 
day,  to  Stockbridge  ;  and  on  Saturday,  home  to 
Kaunaumeek,  though  the  feafon  was  cold  and 
ftormy  :  Which  journey  was  followed  with  illnefs 
and  pain.  It  appears  by  his  Diary,  that  he  fpent 
the  time,  while  riding,  in  profitable  medita- 
tions, and  in  lifting  up  his  heart  to  God  ;  and  he 
fpeaks  of  affiftance,  comfort,  andrefrelhment ;  but 
flill  complains  of  barrenneft,  &c.  ■  His  Diary  for 
the  five  next  days  is  full  of  the  moft  heavy  bitter 
complaints  ;  and  he  exprelles  himfelf  as  full  of 
Ihame  and  felf  loathing  for  his  lifelefs  temper  of 
mind  and  fluggilhnefs  of  fpirit.] 

Thurfday,  February  a.— Spent  this  day  in  fafting^ 
and  prayer,  feeking  the  prefence  and  afliilance  off 
God,  that  he  would  enable  me  to  overcome  all  my 
corruptions  and  fpiritual  enemies. 

Friday y  'February  '^. — Enjoyed  more  freedom  and 
comfort  than  of  late;  was  intcnfely  engaged  in  med- 
itation upon  the  different  whifpers  of  the  various 
powers  and  affed:ions  of  a  pious  mind,  exerciled 
with  a  great  variety  of  difpenfations  :  And  could  not 
but  write  as  well  as  meditate  on  fo  entertaining  a 
fubjedt.  I  hope  the  Lord  gave  me  fome  true  fenfe 
of  divine  things  this  day  :  But  alas,  how  great  and 
preihng  are  the  remains  of  indwelling  corruption  ! 
I  am  now  more  fenfiblc  than  ever,  that  God  alone,  i& 
the  author  and  fmijher  of  our  faith  ;  i.  e.  that  the  • 
whole  and  every  part  of  fandtification,  and  every 
good  word,  work,  or  thought,  that  is  found  in  me, 
is  theeffed:  of  his  power  and  grace  ;  that  without  him 

I 


Mr.   DAVID   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.       125 

/  can  do  nothings  in  the  ftridleft  fenfe  ;  and  that  he 
works  in  us  to  will  and  to  do  of  his  own  good  pleafure^ 
and  from  no  other  motive.  O,  how  amazing  it  is 
that  people  can  talk  fo  much  about  men*s  power 
and  goodnefs  ;  when,  if  God  did  not  hold  us  back 
every  moment,  we  fhould  be  devils  incarnate  !  This 
my  bitter  experience,  for  feveral  days  laft  paft,  has 
abundantly  taught  me  concerning  myfelf. 

Saturday,  February  4. — Enjoyed  fome  degree  of 
freedom  and  fpiritual  refrefhment  ;  was  enabled  to 
pray  with  fome  fervency,  and  longing  defires  of  Zi- 
on*s  profperity  ;  and  my  faith  and  hope  feemed  to 
take  hold  of  God y  for  the  performance  of  what  I  was 
enabled  to  plead  for.  San(flification  in  myfelf,  and 
the  ingathering  of  God*s  eled:,  was  all  my  defire  ; 
and  the  hope  of  its  accomplilhment,  all  my  joy. 

Lord's  Day,  February  5. — Was  enabled  in  fomq 
meafure  to  reft  and  confide  in  God,  and  to  prize  his 
prcfence  and  fome  glimpfes  of  the  light  of  his  coun- 
tenance, above  my  neceflary  food.  Thought  my- 
felf, after  the  feafon  of  weaknefs,  temptation,  and 
defertion  I  endured  the  laft  week,  to  be  fome  what  like 
Sampfon  when  his  locks  began  to  grow  again.  Was 
enabled  to  preach  to  my  people  with  more  life  and 
warmth,  than  I  have  for  Ibme  weeks  paft. 

Monday,  February  6. — This  morning  my  foul  a- 
gain  was  ftrengthened  in  God,  and  found  fome  fweet 
repofe  in  him  in  prayer  :  Longing  efpecially  for  the 
complete  mortification  of  fenfuality  and  pride,  and 
for  relignation  to  God*s  difpenfations,  at  all  times, 
as  through  grace  I  felt  it  at  this  time.  I  did  not  deiire 
deliverance  from  any  difficulty,  that  attends  my  cir- 
cumftances,  unlefs  God  was  willing.  O  how  com- 
fortable is  this  temper  !  Spent  moft  of  the  day  in 
reading  God's  word,  in  writing  and  prayer.  Enjoy- 
ed repeated  and  frequent  comfort,  and  intenfenefs  of 
foul  in  prayer  through  the  day.  In  the  evening,  fpent 

fome 


126  TheLIFEof 

fome  hours  in  private  converfation  with  my  pecxple  ; 
And  afterwards,  felt  fome  warmth  in  fecret  prayer. 
Tuefdayj  February  7. — Was  much  engaged  in  fome 
fweet  meditations  on  the  powers  and  affections  of 
the  godly  foul  in  their  purfuit  of  their  beloved  object : 
Wrote  fomething  of  the  native  language  of  fpiritual 
fenfation,  in  its  foft  and  tender  whifpers  j  declar- 
ing, that  it  now  feels  and  L-iJles  that  the  Lord  is 
gracious  ;  that  he  is  the  fupreme  good,  the  on- 
ly foul  fitisfying  happincfs  ;  that  be  is  a  com- 
plete, fufficient,  and  almighty  portion  ;  faying, 
*  *  Whom  have  I  in  heaven  but  thee  ?  And  there  is' 
none  upon  earth  that  I  dcfire,  bejides  this  bleffed  por- 
tion. O,  I  feel  it  is  heaven  to  pleale  him,  and  to 
be  juil:  what  he  would  have  me  to  be  !  O  that 
my  foul  were  holy^  as  he  is  holy  !  O  that  it  were  pure 
even  as  Chnfi  is  pure  ;  and  perfect  as  my  Father  in 
heaven  is  perfect !  Thefe,  I  feel,  are  tlie  fweetell  com- 
mands in  God's  book,  compriling  all  others.  And 
ihall  I  break  them  !  Muft  1  break  them  !  Am  I  un- 
der a  neceflity  of  it  as  long  as  I  live  in  the  world  ! 

0  my  foul,  wo,  wo  is  me  that  I  am  a  finner,  becaufe 

1  now  neceffarily  grieve  and  offend  this  bleffed  God, 
who  is  infinite  in  goodnefs  and  grace  !  O,  methinks^ 
if  he  would  punilli  me  for  my  fins,  it  would  not 
wound  my  heart  fo  deep  to  offend  him  :  But  though 
I  fin  continually,  yet  he  continually  repeats  his  kind- 
nefs  to  me  !  O  methinks  I  could  bear  any  fuffering; 
but  how  can  I  bear  to  grieve  and  diilionour  this  bleffed 
God  1  How  ffiall  I  yield  ten  thoufand  times  more 
honour  to  him  ?  What  Ihall  I  do  to  glorify  and  wor- 
fliip  this  bert  of  beings  ?  O  that  I  could  confccrate 
myfelf,  foul  and  body,  to  his  fervice  forever.  O 
that  I  could  give  up  myfelf  to  him  (b  as  never  more  to 
attempt tobe my  own, or  tohaveany  willoraffedtions 
that  are  not  perfe(ftly  conformed  to  him.  But  alas, 
alas,  I  find  i  cannot  be  thus  entirely  devoted  to  God: 

I 


Mr.    DA  VID   BR  A  I  NERD.        127 

I  cannot  live  and  not  iin.  O  ye  angels,  do  ye  glorify 
him  incefTantly;  andif  poffible,  proftrate  yourfelves 
lower  before  the  bleffed  king  of  heaven.  I  long  to 
bear  a  part  with  you  ;  and,  if  it  were  poflible,  to 
help  you.  O  when  we  have  done  all  that  we  can  to 
all  etctnity,  we  fhall  not  be  ableto  offer  the  ten  thou- 
landth  part  of  the  homage  that  the  glorious  God 
.  deferves  !" 

Felt  fomething  fpirifual,  devout,  refigned  and 
mortified  to  the  world,  much  of  the  day  j  andefpecial- 
ly  towards  and  in  the  evening.  BlefTed  be  God,  that 
he  enables  me  to  love  him  for  himfelf. 

JVednefday,  February  8. — Was  in  a  comfortable 
frame  of  foul  moil:  of  the  day  ;  though  fenfible  of 
and  reftlefs  under  fpiritual  barrennefs.  I  find  that 
both  mind  and  body  are  quickly  tired  with  intenfe- 
nefs  and  fervour  in  the  things  of  God.  O  that  I 
could  be  as  incefTantas  angels  in  devotion  and  fpirit- 
ual fervour. 

[The  following  day  he  fpent  as  a  day  of  failing 
and  prayer  ;  and  the  two  next  he  appears  to  have 
been  under  fome  deprefTion,] 

Lord* s  Day,  February  12 — My  foul  feemed  to  con- 
fide in  God,  and  to  repofe  itfelfon  him;  and  had 
outgoings  of  foul  after  God  in  prayer.  Enjoyed 
fome  divine  afliflance,  in  the  forenoon,  in  preaching; 
but  in  the  afternoon,  was  more  perplexed  with  fliame, 
&c.  Afterwards,  found  fome  relief  in  prayer  :  Lov- 
ed, as  a  feeble,  afilidled,  defpifed  creature,  tocaitmy- 
felf  on  a  God  of  infinite  grace  and  goodnefs,  hop- 
ing for  no  happinefs  but  from  him. 

Monday,  February  13. — Was  calm  and  fedate  in 
morning  devotions  ;  and  my  foul  feemed  to  rely  on 
God.  Rode  to  Stockbridge,  and  enjoyed  fome  com- 
tortable  meditations  by  the  way  :  Had  a  more  re- 
frefhing  tafi:c  and  relifli  of  heavenly  bleffednefs, 
than  1  have  enjoyed  for  many  months  pai^.     I  havs 

many 


128  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  r 

many  times  of  late,  felt  as  ardent  defires  of  hotinefs 
as  ever  :  But  not  fo  much  fenfe  of  the  fvveetnefs  and 
unfpeakable  pleafure  of  the  enjoyments  and  employ- 
ments of  heaven.  My  foul  longed  to  leave  earth, 
and  bear  a  part  with  angels  in  their  celeftial  employ- 
ments. My  foul  hid  y  Lord y  it  is  good  to  be  here  ; 
and  it  appeared  to  me  better  to  die,  than  to  lofe  the 
relifli  of  thefe  heavenly  delights. 

[A  fenfe  of  divine  things  feem.ed  to  continue  with 
him,  in  a  lelTer  degree,  through  the  next  day.  On 
Wednefday  he  was,  by  fome  difcourfe  that  he  heard, 
caft  into  a  melancholy  gloom,  that  operated  much 
in  the  fame  manner  as  his  melancholy  had  formerly 
done,  when  he  came  firft  to  Kaunaumeek  ;  the  ef- 
fedls  of  which  feemed  to  continue  in  fome  degree 
the  fix  following  days.] 

Wednefday y  February  22. — In  the  morning,  had  as 
clear  a  fenfe  of  the  exceeding  pollution  of  my  nature, 
as  ever  I  remember  to  have  had  in  my  life.  1  then 
appeared  to  myfelf  inexpreffibly  loathfome,  and  de- 
filed :  Sins  of  childhood,  of  early  youth,  and  fuch  fol- 
lies as  I  had  not  thought  of  for  years  together,  (as  I 
remember)  came  now  frefh  to  my  view,  as  if  com- 
mitted but  yefterday,  and  appeared  in  the  mofl:  odi- 
ous colours  :  They  appeared  m.ore  in  number  than 
the  hairs  of  my  head  :  Yea,  they  went  over  my  head 
as  an  heavy  burden.  In  the  evening,  the  hand  of  faith 
feemed  to  be  ftrengthened  in  God  :  My  foul  feem- 
ed to  refl  and  acquiefcein  him  :  Was  fupported  un- 
der my  burdens,  reading  the  cxxv.  Pfalm  :  Found 
that  it  was  fweet  and  comfortable  to  lean  on  God. 

Friday y  February  24. — Was  exceeding  reftlels  and 
perplexed  under  a  fenfe  of  the  mifimprovement  of 
time  ;  mourned  to  fee  time  pafs  away  j  felt  in  the 
greatefl  hurry  ;  feemed  to  have  every  thing  to  do  : 
Yet  could  do  nothing,  but  only  grieve  and  groan 
under  my  igr.orancc,  unprofitabiencfs,  meanncfs,  the 

foolilhnefs 


Mr.   DAVID  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      129 

foolillinefs  of  my  atlions  and  thoughts,  the  pride 
and  bitternefs  of  my  paft  frames  (at  fome  times,  at 
lead)  all  which  at  this  time  appeared  to  me  in  lively 
colours,  and  filled  me  with  fliame.  I  could  not  com- 
pofe  my  mind  to  any  profitable  ftudies,  by  reafon  of 
this  prelTiire. 

[He  continued  in  much  the  fame  frame  of  unea- 
finefs  at  the  mifimprovement  of  time,  and  preffure 
of  fpirit  under  a  fenfe  of  vilenefs,  unprofitablenefs, 
&c.  for  the  fix  next  following  days  ;  excepting 
fome  intervals  of  calmnefs  and  compolure,  in  refig- 
nation  to  and  confidence  in  God.] 

Friday  y  March  %, — Was  moft  of  the  day  employed 
in  writing  on  a  divine  fubjed.  Was  frequent  in 
prayer,  and  enjoyed  fome  fmall  degree  of  affi fiance. 
But  in  the  evening,  God  was  pleafed  to  grant  me 
a  divine  fweetnefs  in  prayer;  efpecially  in  the  duty 
of  intercefiion.  I  think  I  never  felt  fo  much  kind- 
nefs  and  love  to  thofe  who  I  have  reafon  to  think  are 
my  enimies,  (though  at  that  time  I  found  fuch  a  dif- 
pofition  to  think  the  beft  of  all,  that  1  fcarce  knew 
how  to  think  that  any  fuch  thing  as  enmity  and  ha- 
tred lodged  in  any  foul  ;  it  feemed  as  if  all  the  world 
mufl  needs  be  friends)  and  never  prayed  with  more 
freedom  and  delight,  for  myfelf,  or  deareft  friend, 
than  I  did  now  for  my  enemies. 

Saturday^  March  3. — In  the  morning  fpent,  I  be- 
lieve, an  hour  in  prayer,  with  great  intenfenefs  and 
freedom,  and  with  the  mofl  foft  and  tender  aflFe(5lion 
towards  mankind.  I  longed  that  thofe  who  I  have 
reafon  to  think  owe  me  ill  will,  might  be  eternally 
happy  :  It  feemed  refrefhing,  to  think  of  meeting 
them  in  heaven,  how  much  foever  they  had  in- 
jured me  on  earth  ;  Had  no  difpofition  to  infift  up- 
on any  conlefiiion  from  thejm,  in  order  to  reconcilia- 
tion and  the  cxercife  of  love  and  kindnefs  to  them. 
O  it  is  an  emblem  of  heaven  itfelf,  to  love  all  the 

I  world 


Ijo  The    life    or 

world  with  a  love  of  kindnefs,  forgivenefs,  and  be- 
nevolence. Prayer  was  fo  fweet  an  exercife  to  me, 
that  I  knew  not  how  to  ceafe,  left  I  fhould  lofe  the 
fpirit  of  prayer.  Felt  no  difpoiition  to  eat  or  drink 
for  the  fake  of  the  pleafure  of  it,  but  only  to  fupport 
my  nature,  and  fit  me  for  divine  fervice. 

Lord's  Day,  March  4. — In  the  morning  enjoy- 
ed the  fame  intenfencfs  in  prayer  as  yefterday  morn- 
ing ;  though  not  in  fo  great  a  degree  :  Felt  the  fame 
fpirit  of  love,  univerfal  benevolence,  forgivenefs,  hu- 
mility, refignation,  mortification  to  the  world,  and 
compofure  of  mind,  as  then.  My  foul  refted  in  God ; 
and  I  found  I  wanted  no  other  refuge  or  friend. — 
While  my  foul  thus  trufts  in  God,  all  things  feem 
to  be  at  peace  with  me,  even  the  ftones  of  the 
earth  :  But  when  I  cannot  apprehend  and  con- 
£de  in  God,  all  things  appear  with  a  different  af- 
pe(5l. 

[Through  the  four  next  days  he  complains  of  bar- 
rennefs,  want  of  holy  confidence  in  God,  ftupidity, 
wanderings  of  mind,  &c.  and  fpeaks  of  oppreflion  of 
mind  under  a  fenfe  of  exceeding  meannels,  paft  fol- 
lies, as  well  as  prefent  workings  of  corruption.  On 
Friday,  he  feems  to  have  been  reftored  to  a  confider- 
•able  degree  of  the  fame  excellent  fran^e  that  he  en- 
joyed the  Saturday  before.] 

Saturday,  March  10. — In  the  morning,  felt  exceed- 
ing dead  to  the  world  and  all  its  enjoyments:  1  thought 
I  was  ready  and  willing  to  give  up  life  and  all 
its  comforts,  as  foon  as  called  to  it :  And  yet  then 
had  as  much  comfort  of  life  as  almoft  ever  I  had. 
Life  itfelf  now  appeared  but  an  empty  bubble  :  The 
riches,  honours,  and  common  enjoyments  of  life  ap- 
peared extremely  taftelefs.  I  longed  to  be  perpetual- 
ly and  entirely  crucified  to  all  things  here  below,  by 
the  crojs  of  Chrif.  My  foul  was  fweetly  refigned 
to  God's  difpolal  of  me,  in  every  regard ;  and  I  faw, 

there 


Mr.   DAVID   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.       131 

there  had  nothing  happened  to  me  but  what  wasbefl 
for  me.  I  confided  in  God,  that  he  would  never 
leave,  me,  though  I  ihould  walk  through  the  valley  of 
the  Jhadow  of  death.  It  was  then  my  meat  and  drink 
to  be  holy,  to  live  to  the  Lord^  and  die  to  the  Lord : 
And  I  thought  that  I  then  enjoyed  fuch  a  heaven  as 
far  exceeded  the  moft  fublime  conceptions  of  an  un- 
regenerate  foul  ;  and  even  unfpeakably  beyond  what 
I  myfelf  could  conceive  of  at  another  time.  I  did 
not  wonder  that  Peter  faid,  Lord,  it  is  good  to  be  here^ 
when  thus  refrefhed  with  divine  glories.  My  foul 
was  full  of  love  and  tendernefs  in  the  duty  of  inter- 
ceflion ;  efpecially  felt  a  mofl  fweet  affediion  to  fome 
precious  godly  minifters,  of  my  acquaintance. 
Prayed  earneftly  for  dear  chriftians,  and  for  thofe  I 
have  reafon  to  fear  are  my  enemies  ;  And  could  not 
have  fpoken  a  word  of  bitternefs,  or  entertained  a 
bitter  thought  againft  the  vileft  man  living.  Had  a 
lenfe  of  my  own  great  unworthinefs.  My  foul  feem- 
ed  to  breathe  forth  love  and  praife  to  God  a- 
frefh,  when  1  thought  he  would  let  his  children 
love  and  receive  me  as  one  of  their  brethren  and 
fellow  citizens  :  And  when  I  thought  of  their 
treating  me  in  that  manner,  I  longed  to  lie  at 
their  feet  ;  and  could  think  of  no  way  to  exprefs 
the  fincerity  and  fimplicity  of  my  love  and  ef- 
teem  of  them,  as  being  much  better  than  my- 
felf. 

Lord's  Day ^  March  it. — My  foul  was  in  fome 
vc\z2X\jiXt  Jlrengthened  in  God,  in  morning  devotion  j 
fo  that  I  was  releafed  from  trembling,  fear  and  dif- 
trefs.  '  Preached  to  my  people  from  the  parable  of 
the  fower,  Matth.  xiii.  And  enjoyed  fome  affift- 
ance,  both  parts  of  the  day  :  Had  fome  freedorn, 
affediion,  and  fervency  in  addreffing  my  poor  peo- 
ple ;  longed  that  God  fliould  take  hold  of  their  hearts, 
and  make  thena  fpiritually  alive.    And  indeed  /  had 

\%  fo 


13a  T  H'  £    LIFE    OF 

fo  much  to  fay  to  them-  that  1  knew  not  how  to 
leave  off  fpeaking*. 

Monday,  Manyj  liV-r-In  the  morning  was  in  a  de- 
vout, tender,  and  loving  frame  of  mind  ;  and  was 
enabled  to  cry  to  God,  I  hope,  with  a  child  like 
fpirit,  with  importunity,  and  refignation,  and  com- 
pofure  of  mind.  My  fpirit  was  full  of  quietnefs, 
and  love  to  mankind  ;  and  longed  that  peace  fliould 
reign  on  the  earth  :  Was  grieved  at  the  very  thoughts 
of  a  fiery,  angry  and  intemperate  zeal  in  religion  ; 
raour'ned  over  pafl  follies  in  that  regard  ;  and  my 
foiil  confided  in  God  for  Itrength  and  grace  fuffi- 
cient  for  my  future  work  and  trials.  Spent  the  day 
mainly  in  hard  labour,  making  preparation  for  my 
intended  journey. 

Tuefdayt  March  i  J.—Felt  my  foul  going  forth  af, 
ter  God  fometimes ;  but  not  with  fuch  ardency  as  I 
longed  for.  In-  the  evening,  was  enabled  to  contin- 
ue ihflant  in  prayer,  for  fome  confiderable  time  to- 
gether ;  and  efpecially  had  refpe6t  to  the  journey  I 
defigned  to  enter  upon,  with  the  leave  of  Divine 
Providence,  on  the  morrow.  Enjoyed  fome  freedom 
and  fervency,  entreating  that  the  divine  prefencc 
might  attend  me  in  every  place  where  my  bufinefs 
might  lead  me  ;  and  had  a  particular  reference  to 
the  trials  and  temptations  that  I  apprehended  I  might 
be  more  eminently  expofed  to  in  particular  places. 
Was  flrengthened  and  comforted  -,  although  I  was 
before  very  weary.  Truly  the  jay  of  the  Lord  is 
Jlrength  and  life, 

Wednefday,  March  14. — Enjoyed  fome  intenfenefs 
of  foul  in  prayer,  repeating  my  petitions  for  God's 
prefence  in  every  place  where  I  expected  to  be  in 
my  journey.     Befought  the  Lord  that  1  might  not 

be 

*  This  was  the  laft  Sabbath  that  ever  he  performed  publick  fervice  at  Kaunaumcck, 
«md  thefe  the  laft  iermons  that  ever  he  preached  there.  It  appears  by  his  Diary, 
that  vfhilfe  he  continued  with  thcfc  Indians,  lie  took  great  pains  -with  them,  and 
did  it  with  much  dikrctioa  •,  bui  the  particular  mannei  how,  has  bcenomittcd  for 
brevity's  fake. 


Mr.    DAVID   BR  A  I  NERD.      133 

be  too  much  pleafed  and  am  11  fed  with  dear  friends 
and  acquaintance,  in  one  place  and  another.  Near 
ten  fet  out  on  my  journey,  and  near  night  came  to 
Stockbridge. 

Thurfday,  March  15.— Rode  down  to  Sheffield. 
Here  1  met  a  meflenger  from  Eafl-Hampton,  on 
Long-Ifland  ;  who,  by  the  unanimous  vote  of  that 
large  town,  was  fent  to  invite  me  thither,  in  order 
to  I'ettle  with  that  people,  where  I  had  been  before 
frequently  invited.  Seemed  more  at  a  lofs  what 
was  my  duty  than  before.  When  1  heard  of  the 
great  difficulties  of  that  place,  I  was  much  concern- 
ed and  grieved,  and  felt  fome  defires  to  comply  with 
their  requeit ;  but  knew  not  what  to  do  :  Endeav- 
oured to  commit  the  cafe  to  God. 

hordes  Day,  March  18.— [At  Salilbury.]  Was  ex- 
ceeding weak  and  faint,  fo  that  I  could  fcarce  walk : 
But  God  was  pleafed  to  afford  me  much  freedom, 
clearnefs  and  fervency  in  preaching  :  I  have  not  had 
the  like  affiftance  in  preaching  to  linners  for  many 
months  paft.  Here  another  meffenger  met  me, 
and  informed  me  of  the  vote  of  another  congrega- 
tion, to  give  me  an  invitation  to  come  among  them 
upon  probation  for  fettlement*.  Was  fomething 
exercifed  in  mind  with  a  weight  and  burden  of  care. 
O  that  God  would T^^zi  forth  faithful  labourers  into 
his  harvefl, 

[After  this,  he  went  forward  on  his  journey  to- 
wards New-York  and  New-Jerfey  :  In  which  he 
proceeded  llovvly  ;  performing  his  journey  under 
great  degrees  of  bodily  indifpofition.  However, 
he  preached  feveral  times  by  the  way,  being  urged 
by  friends  ;  in  which  he  had  confidcrable  affiftance. 
He  fpeaks  of  comfort  in  converfation  with  chriflian 
friends  irom  tinie  to  time,  and  of  various  things  in 

1 3  the 

'♦This  rongrc-gatlon  wa«  riiat  at   Mill(nj;t6n,   near  Haddzm.     Thry  were  \try 
carncltly  drfiioiis  cf  h:«  ■::>m;iig  artrMig  ihein,  ' 


134  TheLIFEof 

the  exercifes  and  frames  of  his  heart,  that  Ihew 
much  of  a  divine  influence  on  his  mind  in  this 
journey.] 

Thurfday^  April  ^. — Was  again  much  exercifed 
with  vveaknefs,  and  with  pain  in  my  head.  At- 
tended on  the  com mifli oners  in  their  meeting*.  Re- 
folved  to  goon  flill  with  the  Indian  affair,  if  Divine 
Providence  permitted  ;  ahhough  I  had  before  felt 
fome  incHnation  to  go  to  Eaft-Hampton,  where  I 
was  folicited  to  go, 

[After  this  he  continued  two  or  three  days  in  the 
Jerfeys,  very  ill ;  and  then  returned  to  New- York  ; 
and  from  thence  into  New-England ;  and  went  to 
his  native  town  of  Haddam  :  Where  he  arrived  on 
Saturday,  April  14.  And  he  continues  ftill  his  bit- 
ter complaints  of  want  of  retirement.  While  he 
was  in  New- York,  he  fays  thus,  O,  it  is  not  the 
pleafures  of  the  world  can  comfort  me  !  If  God  deny 
his  prefence,  what  are  the  pleafures  of  the  city  to 
me  ?  One  hour  of  fweet  retirement  where  God  is, 
is  better  than  the  whole  world.  And  he  continues 
to  cry  out  of  his  ignorance,  meannefs,  and  unwor- 
thinefs.  However,  he  fpeaks  of  fome  feafons  of 
fpecial  afliftance  and  divine  fweetnefs.  He  fpent 
fome  days  among  his  friends  at  Eaft-Hamipton,  and 
Milhngton.] 

Tucfday,  April  I'J.— Rode  to  Millington  again; 
and  felt  perplexed  when  I  fet  out  ,*  was  feeble  in 
body,  and  weak  in  faith,  I  was  going  to  preach  a 
}ed:ure  ;  and  feared  I  fhould  never  have  affiftance 
enough  to  get  through.  But  contriving  to  ride  alone 
at  a  diftance  from  the  company  that  was  going,  I 

fpent 

•*  The  IrK^ians  at  Kaunauincek  being  but  few  in  number,  and  Mr.  Brainerd  having 
now  been  labouring  among  them  about  a  year,  and  having  prevailed  upon  them  to 
be  wilhng  to  leave  Kaunaumeck,  and  remove  to  Stockbndgc,  to  [\%c  conftantly  un- 
der Mr.  Sargeant's  mini  dry  ;  he  thought  he  might  now  do  more  fcrvice  for  Chrift 
arnong  the  Indians  eh'ewhere  :  And  therefore  went  this  journey  to  Ncw-Jerfcy  to 
lay  the  matter  before  the  commiiTioners  ;  who  met  at  F.lizabeih-Town,  on  this  oc^ 
cafion,  and  determined  that  he  fhould  fonhwilh  leave  K»upaumcek,  and  go  to  the 
Delaware  Indians. 


Mr.  DAVID  BR  AI  NERD.        135 

fpent  the  time  in  lifting  up  my  heart  to  God  :  Had 
not  gone  far  before  my  foul  was  abundantly  ftrength- 
ened  with  thofe  words,  If  God  be  for  uSy  who  can  be 
agairifi  us?  1  went  on,  confiding  in  God  ;  and  fear- 
ing nothing  fo  much  as  felf  confidence.  In  this 
frame  I  went  to  the  houfeof  God,  and  enjoyed  fome 
afliflance.  Afterwards  felt  the  fpirit  of  love  and 
meeknefs  in  converfation  with  fome  friends.  Then 
rode  home  to  my  brother's  :  And  in  the  evening, 
iinging  hymns  with  friends,  my  foul  feemed  to  melt : 
And  in  prayer  afterwards,  enjoyed  the  exercife  of 
faith,  and  was  enabled  to  be  fervent  in  fpirit  :  Found 
more  of  God's  prefence,  than  I  have  done  any  time 
in  my  late  wearifome  journey.  Eternity  appeared 
very  near  :  My  nature  was  very  weak,  and  feemed 
ready  to  be  difiblved  ;  The  fun  declining,  and  the 
fliadows  of  the  evening  drawing  on  apace.  O  I 
longed  to  fill  up  the  remaining  moments  all  for  God  i 
Though  my  body  was  fo  feeble,  and  wearied  with 
preaching,  and  much  private  converfation,  yet  I 
wanted  to  fit  up  all  night  to  do  fomething  for  God. 
To  God,  the  giver  of  thefe  refrelhments,  be  glory 
forever  and  ever  ;  Amen. 

[After  this,  he  vifited  feveral  minifi:ers  in  Connec- 
ticut ;  and  then  travelled  towards  Kaunaumeek,  and 
came  to  Mr.  Sargeant's  at  Stockbridge,  Thurfday, 
April  26.  He  performed  this  journey  in  a  very  weak 
ftate  of  body.] 

Friday y  and  Saturday y  April  27,  and  28. — Spent 
fome  time  in  vifiting  friends,  and  difcourfing  with 
my  people  (who  were  now  moved  down  from  their 
own  place  to  Mr.  Sargeant's)  and  found  them 
very  glad  to  lee  me  returned.  Was  exercil- 
ed  in  my  mind  with  a  fenfe  of  my  own  unworthi- 
nefs. 

L'ird*s  Day,  April 2<). — Preached  for  Mr.  Sargeant, 
both  parts  of  the  day,  from  Rev.  xiv.  4. 

I  4  Monday, 


136  TheLIFEof 

Monday,  April  30. — Rode  to  Kaunaumeek,  but 
was  extremely  ill  :  Did  not  enjoy  the  comfort  I 
hoped  for  in  my  own  houfe. 

Tuefday,  May  i. — Having  received  new  orders  to 
go  to  a  number  of  Indians  on  Delaware  river  in 
Pennfylvania,  and  my  people  here  being  moftly  re^ 
moved  to  Mr,  Sargeant*s,  I  this  day  took  all  my 
clothes,  books,  &c.  and  difpofed  of  them,  and  fet 
out  for  Delaware  river  j  but  made  it  my  way  to  re- 
turn to  Mr.  Sargeant's  :  Which  I  did  this  day,  juft 
at  night.  Rode  feveral  hours  in  the  rain  through  the 
howling  wildernefs,  although  I  was  fo  difordered  in 
body,  that  little  or  nothing  but  blood  came  from  me, 

[He  continued  at  Stockbridge,  the  next  day  ;  and 
on  Thurfday  rode  a  little  way,  to  Sheffield,  under  a 
great  degree  of  illnefs  ;  but  with  encouragement  and 
cheerfulnefs  of  mind  under  his  fatigues.  On  Fri- 
day, he  rode  to  Salifbury,  and  continued  there  until 
after  the  Sabbath.  On  Monday,  he  rode  to  Sharon  ; 
and  fpeaks  of  himfelf  as  diftrefTed  at  the  confidera- 
tion  of  the  mifimprovement  of  time.] 

Tuefday,  May  8. — Set  out  from  Sharon  in  Connec- 
ticut, and  travelled  about  forty  five  miles  to  a  place 
called  theFifh-Kill,  and  lodged  there.  Spent  much 
of  my  time,  while  riding,  in  prayer,  that  God  would 
go  with  me  to  Delaware.  My  heart  fometimes  was 
ready  to  fink  with  the  thoughts  of  my  work,  and  go- 
ing alone  in  the  wildernefs,  I  knew  not  where  :  But 
ilill  it  was  comfortable,  to  think,  that  others  of 
God's  children  had  wandered  about  in  caves  and  dens 
of  the  earth  ;  and  Abraham,  when  he  was  called  to 
go  forth,  went  out  not  knowing  whither  he  went.  O 
that  I  might  follow  after  God. 

[The  next  day,  he  went  forward  on  his  journey  -, 
crofled  Hudfon's  river,  and  went  to  Gofhen  in  the 
highlands  ;  and  fo  travelled  acrofs  the  woods,  from 
Iiudfon*s  river  to  Delaware,  about  an  hundred  miles, . 

\\-\towgh. 


Mr.   DAVID    B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      137 

through  a  defolate  and  hideous  country,  above  New- 
Jerfey ;  where  were  very  few  fettlements  :  In  which 
journey  he  fufFered  much  fatigue  and  hardfhip.  He 
vifited  fome  Indians  in  the  way,  and  difcourfed  with 
them  concerning  chriftianity.  Was  confiderably 
melancholy  and  difconfolate,  being  alone  in  a  flrange 
wildernefs.  On  Saturday,  he  came  to  a  fettlement 
of  Irifli  and  Dutch  people,  about  twelve  miles  above 
the  Forks  of  Delaware.] 

Lord*sDay,  May  13. — Rofe  early  :  Felt  very  poor- 
ly after  my  long  journey,  and  after  being  wet  and 
fatigued.  Was  very  melancholy;  have  fcrace  ever 
feen  fuch  a  gloomy  morning  in  my  life  ;  there 
appeared  to  be  no  Sabbath  ;  the  children  were  all  at 
play  ;  I  a  Granger  in  the  wildernefs,  and  knew  not 
where  to  go  ;  and  all  circumftanccs  feemed  to  con- 
fpire  to  render  my  affairs  dark  and  difcouraging. 
Was  difappointed  refpedting  an  interpreter,  and 
beard  that  the  Indians  were  much  fcattered,  &c.  O 
I  mourned  after  the  prefence  of  God,  and  feemed 
like  a  creature  banifhed  from  his  fight  :  Yet  he  was 
pleafed  to  fupport  my  finking  foul,  amid  ft  all  my 
iorrows  ;  lo  that  I  never  entertained  any  thought  of 
quitting  my  bufinefs  among  the  poor  Indians,  but 
was  comforted,  to  think,  that  death  would  before 
long  fet  me  free  from  thefe  diftrelfes.  Rode  about 
three  or  four  miles  to  the  Irifli  people,  where  I  found 
Ibme  that  appeared  fober  and  concerned  about  relig- 
ion. My  heart  then  began  to  be  a  little  encouraged  : 
Went  and  preached,  firft  to  the  Irilh,  and  then  to  the 
Indians  :  And  in  the  evening,  was  a  little  comfort- 
ed ;  my  foul  feemed  to  reft  on  God,  and  take  cour- 
age. O  that  the  Lord  would  be  my  fupport  and 
comforter  in  an  evil  world. 

Monday,  May  14.— Was  very  bufy  in  fome  necefta- 
ry  ftudies.  Felt  myfelf  very  loofe  from  all  the  world  ; 
All  appeared  vanity  and  vexation  offpirit.     Seemed 

fomething 


138  TheLIFEof 

fomething  lonefome  and  difconfolate,  as  if  I  was 
banifhed  from  all  mankind,  and  bereaved  of  all  that 
is  called  pleafure  in  the  world  :  But  appeared  to  my- 
felf  fo  vile  and  unworthy,  it  feemed  fitter  for  me  to 
be  here  than  any  where. 

[He  continued  much  in  the  fame  frame  the  three 
next  days.] 

Friday,  May  18. — Felt  again  fomething  of  the 
fweet  fpirit  of  religion  ;  and  my  foul  feemed  to  con- 
fide in  God,  that  he  would  never  leave  me.  But  oft- 
entimes faw  myfelf  fo  mean  a  creature,  that  1  knew 
not  how  to  think  of  preaching.  O  that  I  could  al- 
ways live  to  and  upon  God  ! 

Saturday ,  May  19. — Was,  fome  part  of  the  time, 
greatly  oppreffed  with  the  weight  and  burden  of  my 
work:  It  feemed  impoflibleformeeverto  go  through 
with  the  bufinefslhad  undertaken.  Towards  night, 
was  very  calm  and  comfortable  ;  and  I  think  my 
foul  trufted  in  God  for  help. 

Lord^s  Day,  May  20. — Preached  twice  to  the  poor 
Indians,  and  enjoyed  fome  freedom  in  fpeaking, 
while  I  attempted  to  remove  their  prejudices  againft 
chriftianity.  My  foul  longed  for  aiTiftance  from 
above,  all  the  while  ;  for  I  faw  I  had  no  ftrength  fuf- 
ficient  for  that  work.  Afterwards,  preached  to  the 
Irifli  people  :  Was  much  aflifted  in  the  firft  prayer, 
and  fomething  in  fermon.  Several  perfons  feenied 
much  concerned  for  their  fouls,  with  whom  I  dif- 
courfed  aftervv^ards  with  much  freedom  and  fome 
power.  BlclTed  be  God  for  any  afTiitance  afforded 
to  an  unworthy  worm.    O  that  I  could  live  to  him  1 

[Through  the  refl  of  this  week,  he  was  fometimes 
ready  to  fink  with  a  fenfe  of  his  unworthinefs  and 
nnfitnefs  for  the  work  of  the  miniftry  ;  and  fome- 
times encouraged  and  lifted  above  his  fears  and  for- 
rows,  and  was  enabled  confidently  to  rely  on  God  ; 
and  efpecially  on  Saturday,  towards  night,  he  en- 
joyed 


I 


Mr.   DAVID   BRAINERD.        139 

joyed  calmnefs  and  compofure,  and  afliftance  in 
prayer  to  God.  He  rejoiced  (as  he  fays)  that  God 
remains  unchangeably  powerful  and  faithful  ^  a  fure  and 
fufficient  portion,  and  the  dwelling  place  of  his  children, 
in  all  generations .  ] 

Lord*s  Day,  May  27. — Vifited  my  Indians  in  the 
morning,  and  attended  upon  a  funeral  among  them  : 
Was  affc(5ted  to  fee  their  heathenidi  pradices.  O 
that  they  might  be  turned  from  darknefs  to  light.  Af- 
terwards, got  a  conlidcrable  number  of  them  togeth- 
er, and  prcriclied  to  them  ;  and  obferved  them  very 
attentive.  After  this,  preached  to  the  white  people 
from  Heb.  ii.  3.  Was  enabled  to  fpcak  with  fome 
freedom  and  power  :  Several  people  feemed  much 
concerned  for  their  fouls  ;  efpecially  one  who  had 
been  educated  a  Roman  Catholick.  Bleiled  be  the 
Lord  for  any  help. 

Monday y  May  28. — Set  out  from  the  Indians  above 
the  Forks  of  Delaware,  on  a  journey  towards  New- 
ark  in  New-Jerfey,  according  to  my  orders.  Rode 
through  the  wildernefs ;  was  much  fatigued  with 
the  heat  ;  lodged  at  a  place  called  Black-River ;  was 
exceedingly  tired  and  worn  out. 

[On  Tueiday,  he  came  to  Newark  :  The  next 
day,  went  to  Elizabeth-Town  :  On  Thurfday,  he 
went  to  New-York  ;  and  on  Friday  returned  to  Eliz- 
abeth-Town. Thefe  days  w^re  fpent  in  fome  per- 
plexity of  mind.  He  continued  at  Elizabeth-Town 
until  Friday  in  the  week  following.  Was  enliven- 
ed, refreflied,  and  ftrengthened  on  the  Sabbath  at 
the  Lord's  table.  The  enfuing  days  of  the  week 
were  fpent  chiefly  in  fludies  preparatory  to  his  ordi- 
nation ;  and  on  fome  of  them  he  feemed  to  have 
much  of  God's  gracious  prefence,  and  of  the  fiveet 
influences  of  his  fpirit ;  but  was  in  a  very  weak  ilate 
of  body.     On  Saturday,  he  rode  to  Newark.] 

Lord's  Day, 'June  10.— [At  Newark.]  In  the  morn- 
ing, was  much  concerned  how  I  Ihould  perform  the 

work 


HO  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

work  of  the  day  ;  and  trembled  at  the  thoughts  of 
being  left  to  myfelf.  Enjoyed  very  confiderable  af- 
fiftance  in  all  parts  of  the  publick  fervice.  Had  an 
opportunity  again  to  attend  on  the  ordinance  of  the 
Lord's  fupper,  and  through  divine  goodnefs  was  re- 
freftied  in  it  :  My  foul  was  full  of  love  and  tender- 
nefs  towards  the  children  of  God,  and  towards  all 
men  :  Felt  a  certain  fvveetnefs  of  difpofition  towards 
every  creature.  At  night,  I  enjoyed  more  fpiritual- 
ity,  and  fweet  defire  of  holincfs,  than  I  have  felt  for 
fome  time  :  Was  afraid  of  every  thought  and  every 
motion,  left  thereby  my  heart  fhould  be  drawn  away 
from  God.  O  that  I  might  never  leave  the  bleffed 
God  I  Lord,  in  thy  prefence  isfulnefs  of  joy.  O  the 
bleflednefs  of  living  to  God  ! 

Monday,  "June  1 1 . — This  day  the  Prefbytery  met 
together  at  Newark,  in  order  to  my  ordination.  Was 
very  weak  and  difordered  in  body  ;  yet  endeavoured 
to  repofe  my  confidence  in  God.  Spent  moft  of  the 
day  alone ;  efpecially  the  forenoon.  At  three  in  the 
afternoon  preached  my  probation  fermon,  from 
Ads  xxvi.  17.  18.  being  a  text  given  me  for  that  end. 
Felt  not  well,  either  in  body  or  mind  ;  however, 
God  carried  me  through  comfortably.  Afterwards, 
pafTed  an  examination  before  the  Prefbytery.  Was 
much  tired,  and  my  mind  burdened  with  the  great- 
nefs  of  that  charge  I  was  in  the  moft  folemn  man- 
ner about  to  take  upon  me  :  My  mind  was  fo  prefT- 
ed  with  the  weight  of  the  work  incumbent  upon  me, 
that  I  could  not  fleep  this  night,  though  very  weary 
and  in  great  need  of  reft. 

Tuefday,  'June  I3. — Was  this  morning  further  ex- 
amined, refpeifting  my  experimental  acquaintance 
with  chriftianity*.     At  ten  o'clock  my  ordination 

was 

•  Mr,  Pemberton,  in  a  letter  to  the  Honourable  Society  in  Scotland  that  emplovd 
Mr.  Brainerd,  which  he  wrote  concerning  him,  (publiilicd  in  Scotland,  in  the  Chnf. 
tian  monthly  Hijlory)  writes  thus,  "  We  can  with  plcafurefay,  tliat  Mr.  lirainerd  paiC 
ed  through  his  ordination  triali,  to  the  univerfal  approbation  of  the  Prefbytery,  and 

appeared 


Mr.    D  a  V  I  D  BR  a  I  N  E  R  D.      141 

was  attended  :  The  fermon  preached  by  the  Rev. 
'  Mr.  Pemberron.  At  this  time  I  was  afFedted  with 
a  fenfe  of  the  important  truft  committed  to  me  ;  yet 
was  compofed,  and  folemn,  without  diftradtion  : 
And  I  hope,  I  then  (as  many  times  before)  gave  my- 
felf  up  to  God,  to  be  foi  him,  and  not  for  another. 
O  that  I  might  always  be  engaged  in  the  fervice  of 
God,  and  duly  remember  the  lolemn  charge  1  have 
received,  in  the  prcfence  of  God,  angels  and  men  ; 
Am.en  !  May  I  be  affifted  of  God  for  this  purpofe. 
Towards  night,  rode  to  Elizabeth-Town. 

appeared  uncommonly  qualiftcd  for  the  work  of  the  minillry.     He  feems  to  be  arm- 
ed with  a  great  deal  of  felf  denial,  and  an'mattd  -with  a  noble  Jteal  to  propagate  the 
g^ofpel  among  tfaofc  barbarous  nauons,^  who  ha%e  long  dwelt  ia,the  darliJiels  of  hca^  - 
thenifm." 


PART 


142  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    0  F 


PART     vr. 


From  his  Ordin ati  on  until  hejirjl  began  to  preach 
tothe  Indians  at  Crosweeksung,  amongwhom 
he  had  his  mojl  remarkable  fuccefs, 

WEDNESDAY,  ^une  i3.-~Spent  fome  confid- 
erable  time  in  writing  an  account  of  the  Indian 
affairs  to  go  to  Scotland  ;  fpent  fome  time  in  con- 
verfation  with  friends ;  but  enjoyed  not  mtich  fwcet- 
nefs  and  fatisfadtion. 

Thwfday,  June  14. — Received  fome  particular 
kindnefs  from  friends  ;  and  wondered  that  God 
fliould  open  the  hearts  of  any  to  treat  me  with  kind- 
nefs :  Saw  myfelf  to  be  unworthy  of  any  favour  from 
God,  or  any  of  my  fellow  men.  Was  much  exer- 
cifed  with  pain  in  my  head  ;  however  determined 
to  fet  out  on  my  journey  towards  Delaware  in  the 
afternoon  :  But  in  the  afternoon  my  pain  increafed 
exceedingly  ;  fo  that  I  was  obliged  to  betake  myfelf 
to  the  bed  ;  and  the  night  following,  was  greatly 
diftrefifed  with  pain  and  ficknefs  :  Was  fometimes 
almoft  bereaved  of  the  exercife  of  reafon  by  the  ex- 
tremity of  pain.  Continued  much  diftrelTed  until 
Saturday ;  when  I  was  fomething  relieved  by  an  em.et- 
ick  :  But  was  unable  to  walk  abroaduntil  the  Mon- 
day follou-Iiig,  in  the  afternoon  ;  and  ftill  remained 
very  feeble.  I  often  admired  the  goodnefs  of  God, 
that  he  did  not  fufFer  me  to  proceed  on  my  journey 
from  this  place,  w'here  I  was  i'o  tenderly  ufed,  and  to 
be  fick  by  the  way  among  firangers.  God  is  very 
gracious  to  me,  both  in  health  and  ficknefs,  and  in- 
termingles much  mercy  with  all  my  affli(5lions  and 

toils. 


Mr.   DAVID    B  R  A  I  N  E  RD.        143 

toils.  Enjoyed  fome  fweetnefs  in  things  divine,  in 
the  midll:  of  my  pain  and  weaknefs.  O,  that  I  could 
praife  the  Lord  ! 

[On  Tuefday,  June  19,  he  fet  out  on  his  journey 
home,  and  in  three  days  reached  his  place,  near  the 
Forks  of  Delaware.  Performed  the  journey  under 
much  weaknefs  of  body ;  but  had  comfort  in  his 
foul,  from  day  to  day  :  And  both  his  weaknefs  of 
body,  and  confolation  of  mind,  continued  through 
the  week.] 

Lord*s  Day,  June  24. — Extremely  feeble  ;  fcarce 
able  to  walk  :  However,  vifited  my  Indians,  and 
took  much  pains  to  inftrud:  them  :  Laboured  with 
fome  that  were  much  difaffedted  to  chriftianity.  My 
mind  was  much  burdened  with  the  weight  and  dif- 
ficulty of  my  work.  My  whole  dependence  and 
hope  of  fuccefs  feemed  to  be  on  God  ;  who  alone,  I* 
faw,  could  make  them  willing  to  receive  inftrudlion. 
My  heart  was  much  engaged  in  prayer,  fending  up 
iilent  requefts  to  God,  even  while  I  was  fpeaking  to 
them  .  O  that  I  could  always  go  in  the  ftrength  of 
the  Lord  ! 

Monday,  June 2^. — Was  fomethingbetterin  health 
than  of  late  :  Was  able  to  fpend  a  conliderable  part 
of  the  day  in  prayer  and  clofe  ftudies.  Had  more 
freedom  and  fervency  in  prayer  than  ufual  of  late. 

Tuefday,  'June  26. — In  the  morning,  my  delires 
feemed  to  rife,  and  afcend  up  freely  to  God.  Was 
bufy  moft  of  the  day  in  tranflating  prayers  into  the 
language  of  the  Delaware  Indians  :  Met  with  g/eat 
difficulty  by  reafon  that  my  interpreter  was  altogeth- 
er unacquainted  with  the  bufinefs.  But  though  I 
was  much  difcouraged  with  the  extreme  difficulty 
of  that  work,  yet  God  fupported  me  ;  and  efpecial- 
\y  in  the  evening,  gave  me  fweet  refrefhment  :  In 
'  prayer  my  foul  was  enlarged,  and  my  faith  drawn 
'  into  fenfible  exercife ;  was  enabled  to  cry  to  God 

for 


144  The    LIFE    of 

for  my  poor  Indians  ;  and  though  the  work  of  their 
eonverfion  appeared  impojjible  with  man,  yet  with  God 
I  favv  all  things  were  pojjible.  My  faith  was  much 
ftrengthened,  by  obferving  the  wonderful  alfiftance 
God  afforded  his  fervants  Nehemiah  and  Ezra,  in  re- 
forming his  people,  and  reeftabhOiing  his  ancient 
church.  I  was  much  aflifted  in  prayer  for  dear  chrif- 
tian  friends,  and  for  others  that  1  apprehended  to  be 
chriftlefs  ;  but  was  more  efpecially  concerned  for 
the  poor  heathen,  and  thofe  of  my  own  charge  :  Was 
enabled  to  be  inftant  in  prayer  for  them  ,♦  and  hop- 
ed that  God  would  bow  the  heavens  and  come  down 
for  their  falvatioui  It  feemed  to  me,  there  could  be 
no  impediment  fufficient  to  obflrud:  that  glorious 
work,  feeing  the  living  God,  as  I  ftrongly  hoped, 
was  engaged  for  it.  I  continued  in  a  folemn  frame, 
lifting  up  my  heart  to  God  for  afliftance,  and  grace, 
that  I  might  be  more  mortified  to  this  prefent  world, 
that  my  whole  foul  might  be  taken  up  continually 
in  concern  for  the  advancement  of  Chrift's  kingdom  : 
Longed  that  God  would  purge  me  more,  that  I 
might  be  as  a  chofen  vefTed  to  bear  his  name  among 
the  heathen.  Continued  in  this  frame  until  I  drop- 
ped afleep. 

Wednefday,  'June  27. — Felt  fomething  of  the  fame 
folemn  concern,  and  fpirit  of  prayer,  that  I  enjoyed 
laft  night,  foon  after  I  rofe  in  the  morning.  In  the 
afternoon,  rode  feveral  miles  to  lee  if  I  could  procure 
any  lands  for  the  poor  Indians,  that  they  might  live 
together,  and  be  under  better  advantages  for  inftruc- 
tion. 

Thurfday^  June  28. — Spent  the  morning,  in  read- 
ing feveral  parts  of  the  holy  fcripture,  and  in  fer- 
vent prayer  for  my  Indians,  that  God  would  fet  up 
his  kingdom  among  them,  and  bring  them  into 
his  church.  About  nine,  I  withdrew  to  my  ufual 
place  of  retirement  in  the  woods  ;  and  there  again 

enjoyed 


Mr.    DAVID     BRAIN^ERD.      145 

enjoyed  fome  affiftance  in  prayer.  My  great  con- 
cern was  for  the  converfion  of  the  heathen  to  God  ; 
and  the  Lord  helped  nie  to  plead  with  him  for  it. 
Towards  noon,  rode  up  to  the  Indians,  in  order  to 
preach  to  them  j  and  while  going  my  heart  went  up 
to  God  in  prayer  for  them  ;  could  freely  tell  God, 
he  knew  that  the  caufe  was  not  mine,  which  I  was 
engaged  in  ;  but  it  was  his  own  caufe,  and  it  would 
be  for  his  own  glory  to  convert  the  poor  Indians  : 
And  blefled  be  God,  I  felt  no  defire  of  their  conver- 
fion, that  I  might  receive  honour  from  the  world,  as 
being  the  initrument  of  it.  Had  Ibme  freedom  in 
Ipeaking  to  the  Indians. 

[The  two  next  days  he  fpeaks  of  fome  ferious 
concern  for  the  kingdom  of  the  blelTed  Redeemer  ; 
and  confidence  in  God,  that  he  would  advance  it  ; 
but  complains  much  of  barrennefs,  wanderings,  in- 
activity, &c.] 

Lord*s  Day,  ^.v/k  I. — In  the  morning,  was  per- 
plexed with  wandering  vain  thoughts  :  Was  much 
grieved,  judged  and  condemned  myfelf  before  God* 
And  O,  how  mifcrable  did  I  feel,  becaufe  I  could 
not  live  to  God.  At  ten,  rode  away  with  a  heavy 
heart  to  preach  to  my  Indians.  Upon  the  road,  I 
attempted  to  lift  up  my  heart  to  God  ;  but  was  in- 
fcfted  with  an'unfettled  wandering  frame  of  mind  ; 
and  was  exceeding  refllcfs  and  perplexed,  and  filled 
vyith  Ihame  and  confufion  before  God.  I  feemed 
to  myfelf  to  be  ?nore  hrutij]:>  than  a?iy  man  ;  and 
thought,  none  deferved  to  be  cajl  out  of  Go.Vs  pre  fence 
{o  much  as  I.  If  I  attempted  to  lift  up  my  heart  to 
God,  as  I  frequently  did  by  the  way,  on  a  fudden  be- 
fore I  was  aware,  my  thoughts  were  wandering  to 
the  ends  of  the  earth  :  And  my  foul  was  filled  with 
lurprife  and  anxiety,  to  find  it  thus.  Thus  alfo  af- 
ter I  came  to  the  Indians,  my  mind  was  con fu fed  j 
and  I  fdt  nothing  fenfibly  of  that  fweet  reliance  on 

K  God, 


146  The    life    of 

God,  that  my  foul  has  been  comforted  within  days 
pafl.  Spent  the  forenoon  in  this  poflure  of  mind, 
and  preached  to  the  Indians  without  any  heart.  In 
the  afternoon,  I  felt  ftill  barren,  when  I  began  to 
preach  ;  and  after  about  half  an  hour,  I  feemed  to 
myfelf  to  know  nothing,  and  to  have  nothing  to  fay 
to  the  Indians  ;  but  foon  after,  I  found  in  my- 
felf a  fpirit  of  love,  and  warmth,  and  power  to  ad- 
drefsthe  poor  Indians  ;  and  God  helped  me  to  plead 
with  them  to  turn  from  all  the  vanities  of  the  heathen, 
to  the  living  God :  And  I  am  perfuaded  the  Lord 
touched  their  confciences  ;  for  I  never  faw  fuch  at- 
tention raifed  in  them  before.  And  when  I  came 
away  from  them,  I  fpent  the  whole  time  while  I 
was  riding  to  my  lodgings,  three  miles  diftant,  in 
prayer  and  praife  to  God.  And  after  I  had  rode 
more  than  two  miles,  it  came  into  my  mind  to  ded- 
icate myfelf  to  God  again  ;  which  I  did  with  great 
folemnity,  and  unipeakable  fatisfadiion  ;  efpecially 
gave  up  myfelf  to  him  renewedly  in  the  work  of  the 
miniftry.  And  this  I  did  by  divine  grace,  I  hope, 
without  any  exception  or  referve  ;  not  in  the  leaft 
ihrinking  back  from  any  difEculties,  that  might  at- 
tend this  great  and  bleffed  work.  I  feemed  to  be 
mofl:  free,  cheerful,  and  full  in  this  dedication  of 
myfelf:  My  whole  foul  cried,  "  Lord,  to  thee  I 
dedicate  myfelf  :  O  accept  of  me,  and  let  me  be 
thine  forever.  Lord,  I  defire  nothing  clfe  ;  I  defire 
nothing  more.  O  come,  come,  Lord  accept  a  poor 
worm.  Whom  have  I  in  heaven,^  but  thee  ;  and  there 
is  7ione  upon  earth,  that  I  defire  beftde  thee.^'  After 
this,  was  enabled  to  praife  God  with  my  whole  foul, 
that  he  had  enabled  me  to  devote  and  confecrate  all 
my  powers  to  him  in  this  folemn  manner.  My 
heart  rejoiced  in  my  particular  work  as  amiflionary; 
rejoiced  in  my  neceffity  of  fclf  denial  in  many  re- 
fpeCts;  and  flill  contmued  to  give  up  myfelf  to  God, 

and 


I 


Mr.    DAVID    B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      147 

and  implore  mercy  of  him  ;  praying  inceflantly  ev- 
ery moment,  with  fweet  fervency.  My  nature  be- 
ing very  weak  of  late,  and  much  fpent,  was  now 
confiderabiygovercome  :  My  fingers  grew  very  fee- 
ble and  fomewhat  numb  ;  fo  that  I  could  fcarcely 
ftretch  them  out  ftraight  :  And  when  I  lighted  from, 
my  horfe,  could  hardly  walk  :  My  joints  feemcd  all 
to  be  loofed.  But  I  felt  i\hundd.ntjhe;7gtb  in  the  in^ 
ner  man.  Preached  to  the  white  people  :  God  help- 
ed me  much,  efpecially  in  prayer.  Sundry  of  my 
poor  Indians  were  fo  moved  as  to  come  to  meeting 
alfo  ;  and  one  appeared  much  concerned. 

Monday^  '^uly  2. — Had  fome  relifh  of  the  divine 
comforts  of  yefterday  ;  but  could  not  g€t  that 
warmth  and  exercife  of  faith,  that  I  delired.  Had 
fometimes  a  dirtrefUng  fenfeof  my  pafl:  follies,  and 
prefent  ignorance  and  barrennefs  :  And  efpecially 
in  the  afternoon,  was  funk  down  under  a  load  of  fia 
and  guilt,  in  that  I  had  lived  fo  little  to  God,  after 
his  abundant  goodnefs  to  me  yefterday.  In  the  even- 
ing, though  very  weak,  was  enabled  to  pray  with  fer- 
vency, and  to  continue  inftant  in  prayer^  near  an 
hour.  My  foul  mourned  over  the  power  of  its  corrup-_ 
tion,  and  longed  exceedingly  tohe  wajhed,  and  piirg^ 
ed  as  with  hyjfop.  Was  enabled  to  pray  for  my  dear 
abfent  friends,  Chrift's  minifters,  and  his  church  ; 
and  enjoyed  much  freedom  and  fervency,  but  not  fo 
much  comfort,  by  reafon  of  guilt  and  fhame  before 
God,  Judged  and  condemned  myfelf  for  the  follies 
of  the  day. 

[The  two  next  days  he  feerns  to  have  had  fpecial 
aftiftance  and  fervency  moft  of  the  time.  Thurfday 
was  fpent  in  great  bodily  wcaknefs  ;  and  in  great 
bitternefs  of  fpirit  by  reafon  of  his  vilenefs  and  cor- 
ruption ;  he  fays  thus,l  thought  there  Was  not  one 
creature  living  fo  vile  as  I.  O,  my  inward  pollu- 
tion !  O,  my  guilt  and  fliame  before  God  !  I  know 
K3  not 


148  TheLIFEof 

not  what  to  do.  O,  I  longed  ardently  to  be  cleanfed 
and  waflied  from  the  ftains  ofinward  pollution  !  O, 
to  be  made  like  God,  or  rather  to  be  made  fit  for  God 
to  own  ! 

Friday,  'July  6. — Awoke  this  morning  in  the  fear 
of  God  :  Soon  called  to  mind  my  fadnefs  in  the 
evening  pad: ;  and  fpcnt  my  firft  waking  minutes  in 
prayer  for  fanfltification,  that  my  foul  might  be 
wa(iied  from  its  exceeding  pollution  and  defilement. 
After  I  arofe,  I  fpent  fome  time  in  reading  God's 
word  and  prayer.  I  cried  to  God  under  a  fenfe  of 
my  great  indigency.  lam,  of  late,  mofl  of  all  con- 
cerned for  minifterial  qualifications,  and  the  conver- 
sion of  the  heathen  :  Laft  }  car,  I  longed  to  be  pre- 
pared for  a  world  of  glory,  and  fpeedily  to  depart 
out  of  this  world  ;  but  of  late  all  my  concern  almoft 
is  for  the  converfion  of  the  heathen  ;  and  for  that 
end,  I  long  to  live.  But  bleffed  be  God,  I  have  lefs 
defire  to  live  for  any  of  the  pleafures  of  the  world, 
than  ever  I  had  :  I  long  and  love  to  be  a  pilgrim  ; 
and  want  grace  to  imitate  the  life,  labours  and 
fuflPerings  of  St.  Paul  among  the  heathen.  And 
"ivhen  I  long  for  holinefs  now,  it  is  not  fo  much  for 
myfelf  as  formerly  ;  but  rather  that  thereby  I  may 
become  an  able  minifler  of  the  New  Teftament,  ef- 
pecially  to  the  heathen.  Spent  about  two  hours  this 
morning,  in  reading  and  prayer,  by  turns  ;  and  was 
in  a  watchful  tender  frame,  afraid  of  every  thing 
that  might  cool  my  afFediions,  and  draw  away  my 
heart  from  God.  Was  fomething  ftrengthened 
in  my  ftudies  j  but  near  night  was  very  weak  and 
weary. 

Saturday,  ^uly  7. — Was  very  miuch  difordered  this 
morning,  and  my  vigour  all  Spent  and  exhaufted  : 
But  was  affed:ed  and  refrefhed  in  reading  the  fweet 
flory  of  Elijah's  tranflation,  and  enjoyed  fome  affec- 
tion and  fervency  in  prayer  j  longed  much  for  min- 

ifterial 


1 


Mr.    D  a  VID  BR  a  INE  RD.      149 

iitcrial  gifts  and  graces,  that  I  might  do  fomething 
in  the  caiile  of  God. 

Lord*s  Day,  July  8. — Was  ill  laft  night,  not  able 
to  reft  quietly.  Had  fome  fmall  degree  of  aflillance 
in  preaching  to  the  Indians  ;  and  afterwards  was  en- 
abled to  preach  to  the  white  people  with  ibme  pow- 
er, efpecially  in  the  dole  of  my  difcourle,  from  Jer. 
iii.  23.  The  Lord  alfo  allifted  me  in  fome  meafurc 
in  the  firfl:  prayer  :  Bleffed  be  liis  namiC.  Near 
night,  though  very  weary,  was  enabled  to  read  God*s 
word  with  fome  fweet  reliili  of  it,  and  to  pray  with 
affedion,  fervency,  and  (I  truft)  faith  :  My  foul 
was  more  fenfibly  dependent  on  God,  than  ufual. 
Was  watchful,  tender,  and  jealous  of  my  own  heart, 
left  I  Ihould  admit  careleltnefs  and  vain  thoughts, 
and  grieve  the  blefted  Spirit,  fo  that  he  Ihould  with- 
draw his  iweet,  kind,  and  tender  influences.  Long- 
ed to  depart  and  be  iscith  Chrifl,  more  than  at  any  time 
of  late.  My  foul  was  exceedingly  united  to  the 
fiiints  of  ancient  times,  as  well  as  thofenow  living  ; 
efpecially  my  foul  melted  for  the  lociety  of  Elijah 
and  Eliftia.  Was  enabled  to  cry  to  God  with  a  child 
like  fpirit,  and  to  continue  inftant  in  prayer  for  fome 
time.  Was  much  enlarged  in  the  fweet  duty  of  in- 
terccftion. 

T^uejday,  July  lO. — Was  very  ill  and  full  of  pain, 
and  very  dull  and  (piritlefs.  In  tlie  evening,  had  an 
affediing  fen(e  of  my  ignorance,  &c.  and  of  my  need 
of  God  at  all  times,  to  do  every  thing  for  mc  ;  and 
my  foul  was  humbled  before  God, 

IVcdnefday,  July  1 1  .—Was  ftill  exercifed  with  ill- 
nefs  and  pain.  Had  fome  decree  of  affl-dion  and 
warmth  in  prayer  and  reading  God's  word  :  Long- 
ed for  Abraham's  faith  and  fellowihip  with  God  ; 
and  felt  fome  refolution  to  fpcnd  all  my  time  fot 
God,  and  to  exert  myfclf  with  more  fervency  in  hi? 
fcrvicc  ;  but  found  my  body  weak  and  feeble.  In 
K  3  the 


150  The    life    of 

the  afternoon,  though  very  ill,  was  enabled  to  fpend 
fome  confiderable  tinriein  prayer  ;  fpent  indeed  moft 
of  the  day  in  that  exercife  ;  and  my  foul  was  diffi- 
dent, watchful  and  tender,  left  I  fhould  offend  my 
bleffed  friend,  in  thought  or  behaviour.  lam  per- 
fuaded  my  foul  confided  in ,  and  leaned  upon  1  he  bleff- 
ed  God.  O  what  peed  did  I  fee  myfelf  to  ftand  in 
of  God  at  all  times,  to  affift  me  and  lead  me  !  Found 
a  great  want  of  ftrength  and  vigour,  both  in  the  out- 
ward and  inner  man. 

[The  exercifes  and  experiences,  that  he  fpeaks  of 
in  the  next  nine  days,  are  very  fimilarto  thofeof  the 
preceding  days  of  this  and  the  foregoing  week.] 

Saturday,  'July  21.-— This  morning,  was  greatly 
opprefled  with  guilt  and  fhame,  from  a  fenfe  of  in- 
ward vilenefs  and  pollution.  Towards  night  my 
burden  refpecSting  my  work  among  the  Indians  be- 
gan to  increafe  much  ;  and  was  aggravated  by  hear- 
ing fundry  things  that  looked  very  difcouraging,  in 
particular  that  they  intended  to  meet  together  the 
next  day  for  an  idolatrous  feaft  and  dance.  Then  I 
began  to  be  in  anguifli  :  I  thought  I  muft  in  con- 
fcience  go  and  endeavour  to  break  them  up  j  and 
knew  not  how  to  attempt  fuch  a  thing.  However, 
I  withdrew  for  prayer,  hoping  for  ftrength  from 
above.  And  in  prayer  I  was  exceedingly  enlarged, 
and  my  foul  was  as  much  drawn  out  as  ever  I  remem- 
ber it  to  have  been  in  my  life,  or  near.  So,  as  far  as 
I  could  judge,  I  was  wholly  free  from  felf.flicnds  in 
my  fervent  fupplications  for  the  poor  Indians.  I 
knew,  they  were  met  together  to  vvorftiip  devils,  and 
not  God  ;  and  this  made  me  cry  earneftly,  that  God 
would  now  appear,  and  help  me  in  my  attempts  to 
break  up  this  idolatrous  meeting.  My  foul  plead- 
ed long;  and  I  thought  God  would  hear,  and  would 
go  with  me  to  vindicate  his  own  caufe  :  I  feemed  to 
confide  in  God  for  his  prefcnce  and  aftiftance.     An4 

thus 


Mr.   DAVIDBRAINERD.        151 

thus  I  fpent  the  evening,  praying  inceflantly  for  di- 
vine affiftance,  and  that  I  might  not  be  felf  depend- 
ent, but  ftill  have  my  whole  dependence  upon  God. 
What  I  pafled  through  was  remarkable,  and  indeed 
inexpreffible.  I  exceedingly  longed,  that  God 
would  get  to  hifufeifa  name  among  the  heathen  :  And 
I  appealed  to  him  with  the  greateft  freedom,  that  he 
knew  I  preferred  him  above  my  chief  joy.  Indeed, 
I  had  no  notion  of  joy  from  this  world  :  I  cared  not 
where  or  how  I  lived,  or  what  hardfhips  I  went 
through  j  fo  that  I  could  but  gain  fouls  to  Chrifl.  I 
continued  in  this  frame  all  the  evening  and  night. 
While  1  was  afleep,  I  dreamed  of  thefe  things  ;  and 
when  I  awaked  (as  I  frequently  did)  the  firft  thing 
1  thought  of  was  this  great  work  of  pleading  for  God 
againll  Satan. 

Lord's  Day^  T^b  2Z. — When  I  waked,  my  foui 
was  burdened  with  what  feemed  to  be  before  me  : 
I  cried  to  God,  before  I  could  get  out  of  my  bed  : 
And  as  foon  as  I  was  dreffed,  1  withdrew  into  the 
woods,  to  pour  out  my  burdened  foul  to  God,  ef- 
pecially  for affiftance  in  my  great  work;  for  i  could 
Icarcely  think  of  any  thing  elfe  :  And  enjoyed  the 
fame  freedom  arid  fervency  as  the  lall  evening  ;  and 
did  with  unfpeakable  freedom  give  up  myfeif  afrelli 
to  God  for  life  or  death,  for  all  hardships  he  Ihould 
call  me  to  among  the  heathen  ;  and  felt  as  if  nothing 
could  difcourage  me  from  this  bleffed  work.  I  had 
a  (trong  hope,  that  God  would  b3w  the  heavens  and 
come  down^  and  do  fome  marvellous  work  among  the 
heathen.  And  when  I  was  riding  to  the  Indians, 
three  miles,  my  heart  was  continually  going  up  to 
God  for  his  prefence  and  afliftance  ;  and  hoping, 
and  almofiexpedting,  that  God  would  make  ihi^the 
day  of  his  power  and  grace  amongft  the  poor  In- 
dians. When  i  came  to  them,  1  found  them  engag- 
ed in  their  frolick  ;  but  through  di-vine  goodnefs  i 
K4  got 


j.^2  The    life    of 

them  to  break  up,  and  attend  to  my  preaching  :  Yet 
ilill  there  appeared  nothing  of  the  fpecial  power  of 
God  among  them.  Preached  again  to  them  in  the 
afternoon  ;  and  obferved  the  Indians  were  more  fo- 
ber  than  before  :  But  ftill  favv  nothing  I'pecial  among 
them  ;  from  whence  Satan  took  occafion  to  tempt 
and  buffet  me  with  thefe  curfed  fuggeftions,  There 
is  no  God,  or  if  there  be,  he  is  not  able  to  convert  the 
Indians,  before  they  have  more  knowk-dge,  &c.  I 
was  very  weak  and  weary,  and  my  foul  borne  down 
with  perplexity  :  But  was  mortified  to  all  the  world, 
and  was  determined  ftill  to  wait  upon  God  for  the 
converfion  of  the  heathen,  though  the  devil  tempted 
me  to  the  contrary. 

Monday,  Ju/y  23. — Retained  flill  a  deep  and  preff- 
ing  fenfe  of  what  lay  with  fo  m.uch  weight  upon  me 
yefterday  ;  But  was  more  calm  and  quiet;  enjoyed 
freedom  and  compofure,  after  the  temptations  of  the 
laft  evening  :  Had  fweet  refignation  to  the  divine 
will  ;  and  defired  nothing  fo  much  as  the  converiion 
of  the  heathen  to  God,  and  that  his  kingdom  might 
come  in  my  own  heart,  and  the  hearts  of  others. 
Rode  to  a  fettlement  of  Iritli  people,  about  fifteen 
miles  fouthweftward  ;  fpent  my  time  in  prayer  and 
meditation  by  the  way.  Near  night,  preached  from 
Matth.  V.  3.  God  was  pleafed  to  afford  me  fome 
degree  of  freedom  and  fervency.  Bleffed  be  God  for 
^ny  meafure  of  affiftance. 

■  Tue/day,  Ju/y  24. — Rode  about  feventeen  miles 
weft  ward,  over  a  hideous  mountain,  to  a  number  of 
Indians.  Got  together  near  thirty  of  them  :  Preach- 
ed to  them  in  the  evening,  and  lodged  among  them. 
Was  weak,  and  felt  fomething  difconfolate. 

[The  next  day,  he  preached  to  thefe  Indians  again  ; 
and  then  returned  to  the  Irifh  fettlement,  and  there 
preached  to  a  numerous  congregation  :  There  was  a 
confiderable  appearance  of  awakening  in  the  congre^ 

gation. 


Mr.   D  a  V  I  D  B R  a  I  N E  R D.        153 

gation.     Thurfday,  he  returned  home,  exceedingly 
fatigued  and  Tpent  ;  ftill  in  the  lame  frame  of  mor- 
tification to  the  world,  and  felicitous  for  the  advance- 
ment of  Chrifl's  kingdom  :  And  on  this  day  he  lays, 
thus,  *'  1  have  felt,  this  week,  more  of  the  fpirit  of 
a  pi/grim  on  earthy  than  perhaps  ever  before  ;  and 
yet  fo  defirous  to  fee  Zion*s  profperity,   that  I  was 
not  fo  willing  to  leave  this  fcene  of  forrow  as  I  ui'ed 
to  be."     1  he  two  remaining  days  of  the  week,   he 
was  very  ill,   and  cries  out  of  wanderings,  dulnefs, 
and  want  of  Ipiritual  tervency  and  fweetnefs.     On 
the  Sabbath,  he  was  confined  by  illnefs,  not  able  to 
go  out  to  preach.     After  this,  his  illnefs  increafed 
upon  him,  and  he  continued  very  ill  all  the  week. 
Concerning  the  next  five  days  he  writes  thus :    "  Oil 
Lord's  Day,  Auguft  5,  was  flill  very  poor.     But 
though  very  weak,   1   vifited  and  preached  to  the 
poor  Indians  twice,  and  was  Urcngthened  vaftly  be- 
yond my  expccliations.     And  indeed,  the  Lord  gave 
me  fome  freedom  and  fervency  in  addrelfing  them  ; 
though  I  had  not  llrcngth  enough  to  ftand,  but  was 
obliged  to  fit  down  the  whole  tm-je  ;  towards  night, 
was  extremely  weak,  faint,  lick,  and  full  ol  pain. 
And  thus  I  have  continued  much  in  the  lam.e  ftate 
that  I  was  in  laft  week,  through  the  molt  of  this  (it 
being  now  Friday  ;)  unable  to  engage  in  any  bufi- 
nefs  ;   frequently  unable  to  pray  in  the  fimily.     I 
am  obliged  to  let  all  my  thoughts  and  concerns  rini 
at  random  ;  fori  have  neither  ftrength  to  read,  med- 
itate, or  pray  :    And  this  naturally  perplexes    my 
mind.     1  feem  to  myfelf  like  a  man  that  has  all  his 
eftate  embarked  in  one  fmall  boat,  unhappily  going 
adrift,  down  a  fvvift  torrent.  The  poor  owner  Hands 
on  the  Ihore,  and  looks,  and  laments  his  lofs." 

[The  next  three  weeks  after  this,  his  illnefs  was 
not  fo  extreme  :  He  was  in  fome  degree  capable  of 
bufinefs,  both  publick  and  private  ;    (although  he 

had 


154  TheLIFEof 

had  fome  turns  wherein  his  indifpofition  prevailed 
to  a  great  degree:)  He  alfo  in  this  fpace  had,  for 
the  mofl:  part,  much  more  inward  aiTiftance,  and 
ftrength  of  mind  :  He  often  exprefles  great  longings 
for  the  enlargement  of  Chrift's  kingdom  ;  efpecially 
by  the  converfion  of  the  heathen  to  God  :  He  fpeaks 
oi  his  hope  of  this  as  all  his  delight  and  joy.  He 
continues  ftill  to  exprefs  his  ufual  longings  after  ho- 
linefs  and  living  to  God,  and  his  fenfe  of  his  own 
unworthinefs  :  He  feveral  times  fpeaks  of  his  ap- 
pearing to  himfelf  the  vileft  creature  on  earth  ;  and 
once  fays,  that  he  verily  thought  there  were  none  of 
God's  children  who  fell  fo  far  fhort  of  that  holinefs, 
and  perfed:ion  in  their  obedience,  which  God  re- 
quires, as  he.  He  fpeaks  of  his  feeling  more  dead 
than  ever  to  the  enjoyments  of  the  world.  He  fome- 
times  mentions  fpecial  affiftance  that  he  had  in  this 
fpace  of  time,  in  preaching  to  the  Indians,  and  of 
appearances  of  religious  concern  among  them.  He 
fpeaks  alio  of  affiftance  in  prayer  for  abfent  friends, 
and  efpecially  minifters  and  candidates  for  the  min- 
iftry ;  and  of  much  comfort  he  enjoyed  in  the  com- 
pany of  fome  minifters  that  came  to  vifit  him.] 

Saturday,  Sepfe?nber  i. — Was  fo  far  ftrengthened, 
after  a  feafon  of  great  weaknefs,  that  I  was  able  to 
ipend  two  or  three  hours  in  writing  on  a  divine  fub- 
jed:  Enjoyed  fome  comfort  and  fweetnefs  in  things 
divine  and  facred  :  And  as  my  bodily  ftrength  was 
in  fonr,e  meafure  reftored,  fo  my  foul  feemed  to  be 
fomewhat  vigorous,  and  engaged  in  the  things  of 
God. 

hordes  Day,  September  2. — Was  enabled  to  fpeak 
to  my  poor  Indians  with  much  concern  and  ferven- 
cy ;  and  I  am  perfuaded,  God  enabled  me  to  exer- 
cife  faith  in  him,  while  I  was  fpeaking  to  them.  I 
perceived,  that  fome  of  them  were  afraid  to  hearken 
to,  and  embrace  chriflianity,  left  they  fliould  be  en- 
chanted 


Mr.   DAVID   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.        155 

chanted  and  poifoned  by  fome  of  the  powows  :  But 
I  was  enabled  to  plead  with  them  not  to  fear  thefe  ; 
and  confiding  in  God  for  fafety  and  deliverance;  I 
bid  a  challenge  to  all  thefe  powers  of  darknefs,  to  do 
their  worll:  upon  me  firll:.  Afterwards  I  found  my 
,    foul  rejoice  in  God  for  his  aflifting  grace. 

[After  this  he  went  a  journey  into  New-England, 

and  was  abfent  from  the  place  of  his  abode,  at  the 

Forks  of  Delaware,  about  three  weeks.     He  was  in' 

a  feeble  Hate  the  greater  part  of  the  time.     But  in 

the  latter  part  of  the  journey,  he  found  he  gained 

much  in  health  and  llrength.     And  as  to  the  ftate  of 

j  his  mind,  and  his  religious  and  fpiritual  exercifes, 

jl  it  was  much  with  him  as  had  been  before  ufual  in 

I  journeys;  excepting  that  the  frame  of  his  mind  feem'- 

li    ed  more  generally  to  be  comfortable.] 

I'Fednefday,  September  26. — Rode  home  to  the 
Forks  of  Delaware.  What  reafon  have  I  to  blefs 
God,  who  has  preferved  me  in  riding  more  than 
four  hundred  and  twenty  miles,  and  has  kept  all  my 
bones  that  not  one  of  them  has  been  broken  !  My  health 
likewife  is  greatly  recovered.  O  that  I  could  dedi-^ 
cate  my  all  to  God  :  This  is  all  the  return  I  can 
make  to  him. 

Thurfday,  September  2']. — Was  fomething  melan- 
choly :  Had  not  much  freedom  and  comfort  in 
prayer:  My  foul  is  difconfolate  when  God  is  with- 
drawn. 

[The  three  next  days  he  fpenks  of  the  fame  long- 
ings for  the  advancement  of  ChrilVs  kingdom,  and 
the  converfion  of  the  Indians  ;  but  complains  great- 
ly of  the  ill  effeds  of  the  diverfions  of  his  late  jour- 
ney, as  unfixitTg  liis  mind  from  that  degree  of  en- 
gagednefs,  fervency,  watch fulnefs,  &c.^ which  he 
enjoyed  before.] 

Monday,  05fober  i.— Was  engaged  this  day  in 
making  preparation  for  my  intended  journey  to  Suf- 

quehannah: 


iS^  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

quehannah  :  Withdrew  feveral  times  to  the  wood^- 
for  fecret  duties,  and  endeavoured  to  plead  for  the 
divine  prefence  to  go  with  me  to  the  poor  pagans, 
to  whom  I  was  going  to  preach  the  gofpel.  To- 
wards night  rode  about  four  miles,  and  met  broth- 
er Byram*  ;  who  was  come,  at  my  delire,  to  be  my 
companion  in  travel  to  the  Indians.  I  rejoiced  to 
fee  him  ;  and,  I  truft,  God  made  his  converfatioa 
profitable  to  me.  I  faw  him,  as  I  thought,  mor^ 
dead  to  the  world,  its  anxious  cares,  and  alluring 
objedts,  than  I  was :  And  this  made  me  look  withir> 
myfelf,  and  gave  m.e  a  greater  feni'e  of  my  guilt,  in- 
gratitude, and  mifery.  , 

Tuefdayy  Odober  2. — Set  out  on  my  journey,  in 
company  with  dear  brother  Byram,  and  my  inter- 
preter, and  two  chief  Indians  from  the  Forks  of 
Delaware.  Travelled  about  twenty  five  miles,  and 
lodged  in  one  of  the  laft  houfes  on  our  road  ;  after 
which  there  was  nothing  but  a  hideous  and  howl- 
ing wildernefs. 

Wednefday,  Odober  3. — We  went  on  our  way  intq 
the  wildernefs,  and  found  the  moil:  difficult  and  dan- 
gerous travelling,  by  far,  that  ever  any  of  us  had 
leen  ;  we  had  fcarce  any  thing  elfe  but  lofty  mount- 
ains, deep  valleys,  and  hideous  rocks,  to  make  our 
way  through.  However,  I  lelt  fome  fweetnefs  in 
divine  things,  part  of  the  day,  and  had  my  mind  in- 
tenfely  engaged  in  meditation  on  a  divine  fubjed:. 
Near  night,  my  beaft  that  I  rode  upon,  hung  one  of 
her  legs  in  the  rocks,  and  fell  down  under  me  ;  but> 
through  divine  goodncfs,  I  was  not  hurt.  Howeverj 
fhe  broke  her  leg  ;  and  being  in  inch  a  liideous  place, 
and  near  thirty  miles  from  any  houfe,  I  faw  nothing 
that  could  be  done  to  preferve  her  life,  and  it>  was 
obliged  to  kill  her,  and  to  profecute  my  journey  on 

foot,      j 

*  Minift^r  at  a  place  called  Rockciticus,  sbout  forty  miles  from   Mr.   Biainerd's  .| 
lodgin^J*.,. 


Mr.    D  A  VI  D   BR  AINERD.      157 

foot.  This  accident  made  me  admire  the  divine 
goodnefs  to  me,  that  my  bones  were  not  broken, 
and  the  mulitude  of  them  filled  with  llrong  pain. 
Juft-at  dark  we  kindled  a  fire,  cut  up  a  few  bulhes, 
and  made  a  Ihelter  over  our  heads  to  fave  us  from 
the  froft,  which  was  very  hard  that  night ;  and  com- 
mitting ourfelves  to  God  by  prayer,  we  lay  down  oa 
the  ground  and  flept  quietly. 

[The  next  day  they  went  forward  on  their  journey, 
and  at  night  took  up  their  lodging  in  the  woods  in 
like  manner.] 

Friday,  October  5. — We  arrived  at  Sufquehannah 
■River,  at  a  place  called  Opeholhaupung  :  Found 
there  twelve  Indian  houfes.  After  I  had  faluted  the 
king  m  a  friendly  manner,  I  told  him  my  bufinefs, 
and  that  my  defire  was  to  teach  them  chriflianity. 
'  After  fome  confultation,  the  Indians  gathered,  and 
I  preached  to  them.  And  when  I  had  done,  I  afked 
if  they  would  hear  me  again.  They  replied,  that 
they  would  confiderof  it;  and  foon  after  fen  t  me 
word,  that  they  would  immediately  attend  if  I 
would  preach  :  Which  I  did,  with  freedom,  both 
times.  When  I  alked  them  again  whether  they 
would  hear  me  further,  they  replied,  they  w'ould. 
the  next  day.  I  was  exceeding  fenfible  of  the  im- 
pofTibility  of  doing  any  thing  for  the  poor  heathen, 
without  fpecial  ailiftance  from  above  :  And  my  foul 
feemed  to  reft  on  God,  and  leave  it  to  him  to  do  as 
he  pleafed  in  that  which  I  faw  was  his  own  caufe  : 
And  indeeJ,  through  divine  goodnefs,  I  had  felt 
fomething  of  this  frame  moft  of  the  time  while  I 
was  travelling  thither  ;  and  in  fome  meafure  before 
I  fet  out. 

Saturday,  OBober  6. — Rofe  early  and  befought  the 
Lord  for  help  in  my  great  work.  Near  noon  preach- 
ed again  to  the  Indians  :  And  in  the  afternoon,  vif- 
ited  them  from  houfe  to  houfe,  and  invited  them  to 

come 


J58  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

come  and  hear  me  again  the  next  day,  and  put  o^ 
their  hunting  delign,  which  they  were  juft  entering 
upon,  until' Monday.  This  night,  I  truft,  the  Lord 
ftood  by  me  to  encourage  and  ftrengthen  my  foul  : 
I  fpent  more  than  an  hour  in  fecret  retirement  ;  was 
enabled  to  pour  out  my  heart  before  God,  for  the 
increafe  of  grace  in  my  foul,  for  minifterial  en- 
dowments, for  fucccfs  among  the  poor  Indians,  for 
God's  minifters  and  people,  and  for  dear  friends 
yaftly  diftant,  &c.     BlelTed  be  God. 

[The  next  day  he  complains  of  great  want  of  fix- 
ednefs  and  intenfenefs  in  religion,  fo  that  he  could 
not  keep  any  fpiritual  thought  one  minute  without 
difl:rad:ion  ;  which  occafioned  anguifh  of  fpirit. — 
He  felt,  he  fiys,  amazingly  guilty,  and  extremely 
miferable  ;  and  cries  out,  O  my  foul,  what  death  it 
is,  to  have  the  affedlions  unable  to  center  in  God,  by 
reafon  of  darknefs,  and  confequently  roving  after 
that  fatisfadlion  eHevvhere,  that  is  only  to  be  found 
here  !  However,  he  preached  twice  to  the  Indians 
with  fome  freedom  and  power  :  But  was  afterwards 
damped  by  the  objetlions  they  made  againft  chrift- 
ianity.  In  the  evening,  in  afenfeofhis  great  de- 
fe6ts  in  preaching,  he  entreated  God  not  to  impute 
to  him  blood  guiltinefs  ;  but  yet  was  at  the  fame 
time  enabled  to  rejoice  in  God.] 

Monday,  Otlober  8. — Vifited  the  Indians  with  a 
defign  to  take  my  leave  of  them,  fuppofing  they 
would  this  morning  go  out  to  hunting  early  ;  but 
beyond  my  expectation  and  hope,  they  defired  to 
hear  me  preach  again.  I  gladly  complied  with 
their  requeft,  and  afterwards  endeavoured  to  anfwcr 
their  objections  againft  chriftianity.  Then  they 
went  away  ;  and  we  fpent  the  reft  of  the  afternoon 
in  reading  and  prayer,  intending  to  go  homeward 
very  early  the  next  day.  My  foul  was  in  fome  meaf- 
ure  refrelhed  in  fecret  prayer  and  meditation.  Bleff- 
ed  be  the  Lord  for  all  his  goodnefs. 

T^uejday'y 


Mr.    DAVID    B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      159 

,  Tuefday,OBober<^. — We  rofe  about  four  in  the  morn- 
ing, and,  commending  ourfelves  to  God  by  prayer.and 
aikinghis  Ipecial  protediion,  we  fet  out  on  our  jour- 
ney homewards  about  five,  and  travelled  with  great 
fleadinefs  until  pafl:  fix  at  night.  And  then  made 
us  a  fire,  and  a  fhelter  of  barks,  and  fo  ref^ed.  I  had 
fome  clear  and  comfortable  thoughts  on  a  divine 
fubjed:,  by  the  way,  towards  night.  In  the  night, 
the  wolves  howled  around  us  ;  but  God  preferv- 
ed  us. 

[The  next  day  they  rofe  early,  and  fet  forward, 
and  travelled  that  day  until  they  came  to  an  Irifh 
fettlement,  where  Mr.  Brainerd  was  acquainted, 
and  lodged  there.] 

Friday,  OBober  12. — Rode  home  to  my  lodging  ; 
where  1  poured  out  my  foul  to  God  in  fecret  prayer, 
and  endeavoured  toblefs  him  for  his  abundant  good- 
nefs  to  me  in  my  late  journey.  I  fcarce  ever  enjoy- 
ed more  health ;  at  leafl  of  later  years  ;  and  God 
marvelloufly,  and  almoft  miraculoufly,  fupported 
me  under  the  fatigues  of  the  way,  and  travelling  on 
foot.  BlefTed  be  the  Lord,  that  continually  pre- 
ferves  me  in  all  my  ways. 

[On  Saturday  he  went  again  to  the  Irifh  fettlement, 
to  fpend  the  Sabbath  there,  his  Indians  being  gone.] 

Lord*s  Day,  Otiober  14. — Was  much  confufed 
and  perplexed  in  my  thoughts  ;  could  not  pray  ; 
and  was  almoft  difcouraged,  thinking  1  fhould  nev- 
er be  able  to  preach  any  more.  But  afterwards  God 
was  pleafed  to  give  me  fome  relief  from  thefe  con- 
fufions  :  But  ftill  I  was  afraid,  and  even  trembled 
before  God.  I  went  to  the  place  of  publick  wor- 
Ihip,  lifting  up  my  heart  to  God  for  afliftance  and 
vgrace,  in  my  great  work  :  And  God  was  gracious 
40  me,  and  helped  me  to  plead  with  him  for  holi- 
nefs,<ind  to  ufe  the  (trongeft  arguments  with  him, 
drawn  from  the  incarnation  and  fufferings  of  Chrift 

for 


i6o  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

for  this  very  end,  that  men  might  be  made  holy. 
Afterwards,  I  was  muchaflifted  in  preaching.  Iknow 
rot  that  ever  God  helped  me  to  preach  in  a  m^ore 
clofe  and  diftinguifliing  manner  for  the  trial  of  men's 
ftate.     Through  the  infinite  goodnefs  of  God,  I  felt 
what  I  fpake  ;  and  God  enabled  me  to  treat  on  di-| 
vine  truth  with  uncommon  clearnefs  :  And  yet  I  was 
fo  fenfible  of  my  defed:s  in  preaching,  that  I  could 
not  be  proud  of  my  performance,  as  at  fome  times  ;1 
and  bleifed  be  the  Lord  for  this  mercy.     In  the  even-l 
ing,  I  longed  to  be  entirely  alone,  to  blefs  God  for] 
help  in  a  time  of  extremity  ;  and  longed  for  great 
degrees  of  holinefs,  that  I  might  fhew  my  gratitude 
to  God . 

[The  next  morning  he  fpent  fome  time  before 
funrifc  in  prayer,  in  the  fame   fweet  and  grateful 
frame  of  mind,  that  he  had  been  in  the  evening  be- 
fore: And  afterwardswent  to  his  Indians,  and  fpent 
fome  time  in  teaching  and  exhorting  them.] 

Tuefday,  Odiober  i6. — Felt  a  fpirit  of  folemnity  and 
watchfulnefs  ;  was  afraid  I  fhould  not  live  to  and 
upon  God  :  Longed  for  more  intenfenefs  and  fpirit- 
uality.  Spent  the  day  in  writing  ;  frequently  lift- 
ing up  my  heart  to  God  for  more  heavenly  minded- 
nefs.  In  the  evening  enjoyed  fweet  afliftance  in 
prayer,  and  thirfted  and  pleaded  to  be  as  holy  as  the 
bleffed   angels  :  Longed   for   minifterial   gifts   and 

traces,  and  fuccefs  in  my  work  :  Was  fweetly  aflift- 
d  in  the  duty  of  interccilion,  and  enabled  to  remem- 
ber, and  plead  for  numbers  of  dear  friends,  and 
Chrifl's  miniftcrs. 

[He  feemed  to  have  much  of  the  fame  fram.e  of 
mind,  the  two  next  days.] 

Friday,  O^lober  \g, — My  foul  enjoyed  a  fweet 
feafon  of  bitter  repentance  and  forrow,  that  I  had 
wronged  that  bleited  God,  who,  1  was  perfuaded, 
ovas  reconciled  to  me  in  his  dear  Son.    My  foul  was 

now 


Mr.    DAVID     B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      i6i 

now  tender,  devout,  and  folemn.  And  I  was  afraid 
of  nothing,  but  fin  ;  and  afraid  of  that  in  every  ac- 
tion and  thought. 

[The  four  following  days,  were  manifeftly 
fpent  in  a  moft  couftant  tendernefs,  watchful- 
nefs,  diligence  and  felf  diffidence.  But  he  com- 
plains of  wanderings  of  mind,  languor  of  affec- 
tions, &c.] 

Wednefday\  OBober  24. — Near  noon,  rode  to  my 
j3eople  j  fpent  fome  time,  and  prayed  with  them  : 
Felt  the  frame  of  a  pilgrim  on  earth;  longed  much 
to  leave  this  gloomy  manfion  ;  but  yet  found  the 
exercife  of  patience  and  refignation.  And  as  I  re- 
turned home  from  the  Indians,  fpent  the  whole 
time  in  hfting  up  my  heart  to  God.  In  the  evening, 
enjoyed  a  blefled  feafon  alone  in  prayer  j  was  ena- 
bled to  cry  td  God  with  a  child  like  fpirit,  for  the 
fpace  of  near  an  hour :  Enjoyed  a  Ivveet  freedom 
in  fupplicating  for  myfelf,for  dear  friends,  minifters, 
and  fome  who  are  preparing  for  that  work,  and  for  the 
church  of  God  ;  and  longed  to  be  as  lively  myfeli 
in  God*s  ferviceas  the  angels.  /\ 

Friday^  Otiober  26.— 'In  the  morning  my  foul  waS 
melted  with  a  fenfe  of  divine  goodnefs  and  mercy 
to  fuch  a  vile  unworthy  worm  as  I  :  Delighted  to 
lean  upon  God,  and  place  my  whole  trull:  in  him* 
My  foul  was  exceedingly  grieved  for  fin,  and  prized 
and  longed  after  holinefs ;  it  wounded  my  heart  deep- 
ly, yet  fweetly,  to  think  how  I  had  abufed  a  kind 
God.  f  longed  to  be  perfedly  holy,  that  I  might 
•not  grieve  a  gracious  God  ;  who  will  continue  to 
love,  notwithiknding  his  love  is  abufed  :  1  longed 
for  holinefs  more  for  this  end,  than  I  did  for  my 
own  happinefs  fake.  And  yet  this  was  my  greatefl 
happinefs,  never  more  to  difhonour,  but  always  to 
glorify  the  blelTed  God.  Afterwards  rode  up  to  the 
Indians,  in  the  afternoon,  &c. 

L  [The 


i62  The    LIFE    of 

[The  four  next  days  he  was  exercifed  with  much 
dilorder  and  pain  of  body,  with  a  degree  of  melan- 
choly and  gloominefsof  mind,  bitterly  complaining 
of  deadnefs  and  unprofitablenefs,  yet  mourning  and 
longing  after  God.] 

Wednefday,  06iober  31. — Was  fenfible  of  my  bar- 
rennefs,  and  decay,  in  the  things  of  God  :  My  foul 
failed,  when  I  remembered  the  fervency  I  had  en- 
joyed at  the  throne  of  grace.  O,  I  thought,  if  I 
could  but  be  fpiritual,  warm,  heavenly  minded,  and 
afFedtionately  breathing  after  God,  this  would  be 
better  than  life  to  me  !  My  foul  longed  exceedingly 
for  death,  to  be  loofed  from  this  dulnefs  and  barren- 
nefs,  and  made  forever  aftive  in  the  fervice  of  God. 
I  feemed  to  live  for  nothing,  and  to  do  no  good  :  And 
O,  the  burden  of  fuch  a  life  !  O,  Death,  Death,  my 
kind  friend,  haften  and  deliver  me  from  dull  mor- 
tality, and  make  me  fpiritual  and  vigorous  to 
eternity. 

Friday^  'November  1. — Was  filled  with  forrowand 
confufion,  in  the  morning,  and  could  enjoy  no  fweet 
fenfe  of  divine  things,  nor  get  any  relief  in  prayer. 
Saw  I  deferved  that  every  one  of  God*s  creatures 
Ihould  be  let  loofe  upon  me  to  be  the  executioners 
of  his  wrath  againft  me  :  And  yet  therein  I  faw  I 
deferved  what  1  did  not  fear  as  my  portion.  About 
noon  rode  up  to  the  Indians;  and  while  going,  could 
feel  no  defires  for  them,  and  even  dreaded  to  fay 
any  thing  to  them  ;  but  God  was  pleafed  to  give  me 
fome  freedom  and  enlargement,  and  made  the  feafon 
comfortable  to  me.  In  the  evening  had  enlarge- 
ment in  prayer. 

Saturday,  'November  3. — I  read  the  life  and  trials  of 
a  godly  man,  and  was  much  warmed  by  it  :  I  won- 
dered at  my  paft  deadnefs ;  and  was  more  convinced 
of  it  than  ever.  Was  enabled  to  confefs  and  be- 
wail my  fin  before  God,  with  felf  abhorrence. 

hordes 


Mr.   DAVID  BR  AI  NERD.      163 

Lord*s  Day,  November  4. — Had,  I  think,  fome 
exercife  of  faith  in  prayer  in  the  morning  :  Longed  to 
be  fpiritual.  Had  confiderable  help  in  preaching  to 
my  poor  Indians :  Was  encouraged  with  them,  and 
hoped  that  God  defigned  mercy  for  them. 

[The  next  day  he  fet  out  on  a  journey  to  New- 
York,  to  the  meeting  of  the  prefbytery  there;  and 
was  gone  from  home  more  than  a  fortnight.  He 
feemed  to  enter  on  this  journey  with  great  reluc- 
tance j  fearing  that  the  diverfions  of  it  would  prove 
a  means  of  cooling  his  religious  affedlions,  as  he  had 
found  in  other  journeys.  But  yet  in  this  journey 
he  had  fome  fpecial  feaforts  wherein  he  enjoyed  ex^ 
traordinary  evidences  and  fruits  of  God's  gracious 
prefcnce.  He  was  greatly  fatigued  and  expofed  in 
this  journey  by  cold  and  Itorms  :  And  when  he  re- 
turned from  New-York  to  New-Jerfey,  on  Friday, 
was  taken  very  ill,  and  was  detained  by  his  iilnefs 
fome  time.] 

Wcdnefday,  November '2.1 . — Rode  from  Newark  to 
Rockciticus  in  the  cold,  and  was  almofl:  overcome 
with  it.  Enjoyed  fome  fweetnefs  in  converfation 
with  dear  Mr.  Jones,  while  I  dined  with  him  :  My 
foul  loves  the  people  of  God,  and  efpecially  the 
minifters  of  Jefus  Chrift,  who  feel  the  fame  trials 
that  I  do. 

Thurfday^  November  22. — Came  on  my  way  from 
Rockciticus  to  Delaware  river.  Was  very  much 
difordered  with  a  cold  and  pain  in  my  head.  About 
fix  at  night,  I  loft  my  way  in  the  wildernefs,  and 
wandered  over  rocks  and  mountains,  down  hideous 
fteeps,  through  (wamps,  and  moft  dreadful  and 
dangerous  places  :  And  the  night  being  dark,  fo 
that  few  ftars  could  be  feen^  I  was  greatly  expofed  : 
Was  much  pinched  with  cold,  and  diftreffed  with 
an  extreme  pain  in  my  head,  attended  with  ficknefs 
at  my  ftomach ;  fo  that  every  ftep  1  took  was  dif- 

L  %  treffing 


164  The    LI  F  E    01 

trefling  to  me.  I  had  but  little  hope  for  ieveral"^ 
hours  together,  but  that  I  muft  lie  out  in  the  woods 
all  night  in  this  diftrefled  cafe.  But,  about  nine 
o'clock,  I  found  a  houfe,  through  the  abundant  good- 
ncfs  of  God,  and  was  kindly  entertained.  Thus  I 
have  frequently  been  expofed,  and  fometimes  lain 
out  the  whole  night :  But  God  has  hitherto  preferv- 
ed  me  ;  and  blefted  be  his  name.  Such  fatigues  and 
hardlliips  as  thefe,  ferve  to  wean  mc  more  from  the 
earth  ;  and,  I  tnift,  will  make  heaven  the  fweeter. 
Formerly,  when  I  was  thus  expofed  to  cold,  rain, 
&c.  I  was  ready  to  pleafe  myfelf  with  the  thoughts 
of  enjoying  a  comfortable  houfe,  a  warm  fire,  and 
other  outward  comforts  ;  but  now  thefe  have  lefs 
place  in  my  heart,  through  the  grace  of  God,  and 
my  eye  is  more  to  God  for  comfort. 

Friday,  November  23. — Vifited  a  fick  man  -,  dif- 
courfed  and  prayed  with  him.  Then  vilited  another 
houfe,  where  was  one  dead  and  laid  out ;  looked  on 
the  corpfe  and  longed  that  my  time  might  come  to 
depart,  that  I  might  be  with  Chriji.  Then  went 
home  to  rny  lodgings,  about  one  o'clock.  Felt  poor- 
ly ;  but  was  able  to  read  mod  of  the  afternoon. 

[Within  the  fpace  of  the  next  twelve  days,  he 
paffed  under  many  changes  in  the  frames  and  exer- 
cifes  of  his  mind.  He  had  many  feafons  of  the 
fpecial  influence  of  God's  Spirit,  animating,  invig- 
orating, and  comforting  him  in  the  ways  of  God 
and  duties  of  religion  ;  but  had  fome  turns  of  great 
dejedion  and  melancholy.  He  fpent  much  time, 
within  this  fpace,  in  hard  labour,  with  others,  to 
make  for  himfelf  a  little  cottage  or  hut,  to  live  in 
by  himfelf  through  the  winter. 

Thuj'fday,  December  6. — Having  now  a  happy  op- 
portunity of  being  retired  in  a  houfe  of  my  own, 
which  I  have  lately  procured  and  moved  into,  and 
confidering  that  it  is  now  a  long  time  fince  I  have 

been 


Mr.   DAVID    B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.        165 

been  able,  either  on  account  of  bodily  weaknefs,  or 
for  want  of  retirement,  or  fome  other  difficulty,  to 
fpend  any  time  in  fecret  fading  and  prayer ;  confid- 
eringalfo  thegreatnefs  of  my  work,  and  the  extreme 
difficulties  that  attend  it  ;    and  that  my  poor  Indi- 
ans are  now  worffiiping  devils,  notwithftanding  all 
the  pains  I  have  taken  with  them,   which  almoft 
overwhelms   my  fpirit  :  Moreover,  confidcring  my 
extreme  barrennefs,  fpiritual  deadnefs,and  dejedtion, 
of  late  j    as  alfo  the  power  of  fome  particular  cor- 
ruptions ;  I  fat  apart  this  day  for  fecret  prayer  and 
failing,  to  implore  the  bleffing  of  God  on  myfelf, 
on  my  poor  people,  on   my  friends,   and  on  the 
church  of  God.     At  firft,  I  felt  a  great  backward- 
nefs  to  the  duties    of  the  day,  on  account  of  the 
feeming  impoffibility  of  performing  them  :  But  the 
Lord  helped  me  to  break  through  this  difficulty.     I 
enjoyed  much  more  intenfenefs,  fervency,  and  fpir- 
ituality,  than  I  expected  ;  God  was  better  to  me 
than  my  fears.     And,  towards  night,  I  felt  my  foul 
rejoice,  that  God  is  unchangeably  happy  and  glori- 
ous ;  that  he  will  be  glorified,  whatever  becomes  of 
his  creatures.     I  was  enabled  to  perlevere  in  prayer 
until  fome  time  in  the  evening ;  at  which  time  I  faw 
fo  much  need  of  divine  help,  in  every  refpedl,  that 
I  knew  not  how  to  leave  off,  and  had  forgot  that  I 
needed  food.     This  evening  I  was  much  affifted  in 
meditating  on  Ifai.  lii.  3.     Blelfed  be  the  Lord  for 
any  help  in  the  pad  day. 

Friday,  December  7. — Spent  fome  time  in  prayer, 
in  the  morning  ;  enjoyed  fome  freedom  and  affec- 
tion in  tlie  duty,  and  had  longing  defires  of  being 
made  faithful  to  the  death.  Spent  a  little  time  in 
writing  on  a  divine  fubjedt  :  Then  vifited  the  Indi- 
ans, and  preached  to  them':  But  under  incxpreffi- 
ble  dejection.  I  had  no  heart  to  ipeak  to  them,  and 
could  not  do  it,  but  as  I  forced  myfelf  :  I  knew  they 

L  3  muff 


i66  TheLIFEof 

muft  hate  to  hear  me,  as  having  but  juft  got  home 
from  their  idolatrous  feaft  and  devil  vvorlhip.  In 
the  evening  had  fome  freedom  in  prayer  and  med- 
itation. 

Saturday^  December  %, — Have  been  uncommonly 
free  this  day  from  dejedion,  and  from  that  diftrelT- 
ing  apprehenfion  that  I  could  do  nothing  :  Was  en- 
abled to  pray  and  ftudy  with  fome  comfort  ;  and 
efpecially  was  aflifted  in  writing  on  a  divine  fubje(5t. 
In  the  evening  my  foul  rejoiced  in  God  j  and  I 
bleffed  his  name  for  Ihining  on  my  foul.  O  the 
iweet  and  blelTed  change  I  then  felt,  when  God 
brought  me  out  of  darknefs  into  his  marvellous  light. 

Lord's  Day,  December  9. — Preached  both  parts 
of  the  day  at  a  place  called  Greenwich,  in  New- 
Jerfey,  about  ten  miles  from  my  own  houfe.  In  the 
iirll:  difcourfe  I  had  Icarce  any  warmth  or  affedtion- 
ate  longing  for  fouls.  In  the  intermiffion  feafon  I 
got  alone  among  the  bufhes,  and  cried  to  God  for 
pardon  of  my  deadnefs  ;  and  was  in  anguifh  and 
bitternefs,  that  1  could  not  addrefs  fouls  with  more 
compaffion  and  tender  affecflion  :  Judged  and  con- 
demned myfclf  for  want  of  this  divine  temper  : 
Though  1  faw  I  could  not  get  it  as  of  myfelf  any 
more  than  I  could  make  a  world.  In  the  latter  exer- 
cife,  blefled  be  the  Lord,  I  had  fome  fervency,  both 
in  prayer  aqd  preaching  ;  and  efpecially  in  the  ap- 
plication of  my  difcourie  was  enabled  to  addrefs  pre- 
cious fouls  with  afFc(flion,  concern,  tendernefs  and 
importunity.  The  Spirit  of  God,  I  think,  was 
there;  as  the  effects  were  apparent,  tears,  running 
down  many  cheeks. 

Wednefday,  December  12. — Was  very  weak  ;  but 
fomewhat  aflifted  in  fecret  prayer,  and  enabled  vvith 
pleafure  and  fweetncfs  to  cry,  Cofrie,  Lord  'J ejus  ! 
Come^  Lord  ^efus  ;  come  quickly.  My  foul  longed  for 
Cod,  for  the  living  God.     O  how  delightful  it  is,  to 

pray 


Mr.  DAVID  BR  AI  NERD.      167 

pray  under  fuch  fvveet  influences  !  O  how  much 
better  is  this  than  one's  necelTary  food  !  I  had  at  this 
time  no  difpofition  to  eat,  though  late  in  the 
morning ;  for  earthly  food  appeared  wholly  taflelefs. 

0  how  much  better  is  thy  love  than  wine»  tlian  the 
fweeteft  wine  !  I  vifited  and  preached  to  the  Indians 
in  the  afternoon  j  but  under  much  dejection.  Found 
my  interpreter  under  fome  concern  for  his  foul  ; 
which  was  fome  comfort  to  me  ;  and  yet  filled  me 
with  new  care.  I  longed  greatly  for  his  converfion  ; 
lifted  up  myhcart  to  God  for  it  while  I  was  talking  to 
him  :  Came  home  and  poured  out  my  foul  to  God 
for  him  :  Enjoyed  fome  freedom  in  prayer,  and  was 
enabled,  I  think,  to  leave  all  with  God. 

Thurfdijy,  December  13. — Endeavoured  to  fpend 
the  day  \\\  fafting  and  prayer,  to  implore  the  divine 
blefling,  more  efpecially  on  my  poor  people  ;  and 
in  particular,  I  fought  for  converting  grace  for  my 
interpreter,  and  three  or  four  more  under  fome  con- 
cern for  their  fouls.  I  was  much  difordered  in  the 
morning  when  1  arofe  ;  but  having  determined  to 
fpend  the  day  in  this  manner,  1  attempted  it.  Some 
freedom  I  had  in  pleading  for  thefe  poor  concerned 
fouls,  feveral  times;  and  when  interceding  for  them, 

1  enjoyed  greater  freedom  from  wandering  and  dif- 
tra<5ting  thoughts,  than  in  any  part  of  my  fupplica- 
tions  :  But  in  the  general  was  greatly  exercifed  with 
wanderings  j  fo  that  in  the  evening  it  feemed  as  if  I 
had  need  to  pray  for  nothing  (b  much  as  for  the  pardon 
of  fins  committed  in  the  day  pail,  and  the  vilenefs  I 
then  found  in  myfelf.     The  fins  I  had  mod  fenfe 
of  were  pride,  and  wandering  thoughts,  whereby  I 
mocked  God.     The  former  of  thefe  curfed  iniqui- 
ties excited  me  to  think  of  writing,  or  preaching,  or 
converting  heathep,  or  performing  fome  other  great 
work,  that  my  name  might  live  when  I  fhould  be 
dead.     My  foul  was  in  anguifh,  and  ready  to  ^rop 

L  4  into 


i68       •         TheLIFEof 

into  defpair,  to  find  fo  much  of  that  curfed  temper. 
With  this  and  the  other  evil  I  laboured  under,  viz. 
wandering  thoughts,  1  was  almoft  overwhelmed, 
and  even  ready  to  give  over  ilriving  after  a  fpirit  of 
devotion;  and  oftentimes  funk  into  a  confiderable 
degree  of  defpondency,  and  thought  I  was  7nore  brut^ 
ijh  than  any  man.  Yet  after  all  my  forrows,  I  truft, 
through  grace,  this  day  and  the  exercifes  of  it  have 
been  for  my  good,  and  taught  me  more  of  my  cor- 
ruption, and  weaknefs  without  Chrift,  than  I  knew 
before. 

Monday y  December  17. — Was  fomething  comfort- 
able in  mind,  moft  of  the  day  ;  and  was  enabled  to 
pray  with  fome  freedom,  chcerfulnefs,  compofure, 
and  devotion  j  had  alfo  fome  affiftance  in  writing  on 
a  divine  fubjedl. 

Tuefdayy  December  18. — Went  to  the  Indians,  and 
difcourfed  to  them  near  an  hour,  without  any  pow- 
er to  come  clofe  to  their  hearts.  Butat  laft,  1  felt  fome 
fervency,  and  God  helped  me  to  fpeak  with  warmth. 
My  interprerer  alfo  was  amazingly  allifted  ;  and  I 
doubt  not  but  the  Spirit  of  God  was  upon  him  (though 
I  had  no  reafon  to  think  he  had  any  true  and  faving 
grace,  but  was  only  under  conyidion  of  his  lofl  ftate;} 
and  prefently  upon  this  moft  of  the  grown  perfons 
were  much  affe&ed,  and  the  tears  ran  down  their 
cheeks  ;  and  one  old  man  (I  fuppofe,  an  hundred 
years  old)  was  fo  affed:ed,  that  he  wept,  and  feem- 
ed  convinced  of  the  importance  of  what  I  taught 
them.  I  ftayed  with  them  a  confiderable  time,  ex- 
horting and  dire(5ling  them ;  and  came  away,  lifting 
up  my  heart  to  God  in  prayer  and  praife,  and  en- 
couraged and  exhorted  my  interpreter  iojirive  to  en- 
ter  in  at  the  Jlrait  gate.  Came  home,  and  fpent 
moft  of  the  evening  in  prayer  and  thankfgiving  ; 
and  found  myfelf  much  enlarged  and  quickened. 
Was  greatly  concerned,  that  the  Lord's  work,  which 

feemed 


Mr.    DAVID   BRAINERD.      i6§ 

feemed  to  be  begun,  might  be  carried  on  with  pow- 
er, to  the  converfion  of  poor  fouls,  and  the  glory  of 
divine  grace. 

JVednefday,  December  19. — Spent  a  great  part  of 
the  day  in  prayer  to  God  for  the  out  pouring  of  his 
fpirit  on  my  poor  people  j  as  alfo  to  blefs  his  name 
for  awakening  my  interpreter,  and  fome  others,  and 
giving  us  fome  tokens  of  his  prefenceyefterday.  And 
bleffed  be  God,  1  had  much  freedom,  five  or  fix 
times  in  the  day,  in  prayer  and  praife,  and  felt  a 
weighty  concern  upon  my  fpirit  for  the  falvation  of 
thole  precious  fouls,  and  the  enlargement  of  the  Re- 
deemer's kingdom  afnong  them.  My  foul  hoped 
in  God  for  fome  fuccefs  in  my  miniftry  :  And  blelT- 
ed  be  his  name  for  lb  much  hope. 

Friday,  December  21. — Was  enabled  again  to  pray 
with  freedom,  cheerfulnefs,  and  hope.  God  was 
pleafed  to  make  the  duty  comfortable  and  pleafant 
to  me  ;  fo  that  I  delighted  to  perfcvere,  and  repeat- 
edly to  engage  in  it.  Towards  noon,  vifited  my 
people,  and  fpent  the  whole  time  in  the  way  to  them 
in  prayer,  longing  to  fee  the  power  of  God  among 
them,  as  there  appeared  fomcthing  of  it  the  laft 
Tuefday ;  and  I  found  it  fvveet  to  reft  and  hope  in 
God.  Preached  to  them  twice,  and  at  two  diftin^ 
places  :  Had  confiderable  freedom,  each  time,  and 
io  had  my  interpreter.  Several  of  them  followed 
me  from  one  place  to  the  other  :  And  I  thought, 
there  were  fome  divine  influences  difcernible  amongfl 
them.  In  the  evening,  was  afTifted  in  prayer  again. 
BlefTed,  blelTed  be  the  Lord. 

Lord*s  Day,  Deconber  "^o. — Difcourfed,  both  parts 
of  the  day,  from  Mark  viii.  34.  Whojocvcr  "rill 
come  after  fiie,  &c.  God  gave  me  very  great  freedom 
and  clearncfs,  and  in  the  afternoon  cfpecially,  con- 
fiderable warmth  and  fervency.  In  the  evening  al- 
fo, had  very  great  clearnefs  while  convcriing  with 

friends 


I70  The    LIFE    of 

friends  on  divine  things  :  I  do  not  remember  ever 
to  have  had  more  clear  apprehenfions  of  religion  in 
my  life  :  But  found  a  ftruggle,  in  the  evening,  with 
fpiritual  pride. 

[On  Monday  he  preached  again  in  the  fame  place 
with  freedom,  and  fervency  ;  and  rode  home  to  his 
lodging  ;  and  arrived  in  the  evening,  under  a  con- 
fiderable  degree  of  bodily  illnefs,  which  continued 
the  two  next  days.  And  he  complains  much  of 
fpiritual  emptinefs  and  barrennefs  on  thofc  days.] 

Thurfday^  'January  3,  1744,5. — Being  fenfible  of 
the  great  want  of  divine  influences,  and  the  out 
pouring  of  God*s  fpirit,  I  fpent  this  day  in  fafting 
and  prayer,  to  feek  fo  great  a  mercy  for  myfelf,  and 
my  poor  people  in  particular,  and  for  the  church  of 
God  in  general.  In  the  morning,  was  very  lifelefs 
in  prayer,  and  could  get^  fcarce  any  fenfe  of  God. 
Near  noon,  enjoyed  fome  fweet  freedom  to  pray 
that  the  will  of  God  might  in  every  refped:  become 
mine  :  And  I  am  perfuaded,  it  was  fo  at  that  time 
jn  fome  good  degree.  In  the  afternoon,  I  tvas  ex- 
ceeding weak,  and  could  not  enjoy  much  fervency 
in  prayer,  but  felt  a  great  degree  of  dejecftion  ;  which, 
I  believe,  was  very  much  owing  to  my  bodily  weak- 
nefs  and  diforder. 

Lord's  Day^  'January  6. — Was  flill  diftreffed  with 
vapoury  diforders.  Preached  to  my  poor  Indians  ; 
but  had  little  heart  or  life.  Towards  night,  my 
foul  was  prefTed  under  a  fenfe  of  my  unfaithfulnefs. 
O  the  joy  and  peace  that  arifes  from  a  fenfe  o{  hav- 
ing obtained  mercy  of  God  to  be  faithful  !  And  O,  the 
mifery  and  anguifh  that  fpring  from  an  apprehen- 
j[ion  of  the  contrary  ! 

[His  dejediion  continued  the  two  next  days  ;  but 
not  to  fo  great  a  degree  onTuefday,  when  he  enjoy- 
ed fome  freedom  and  fervency  in  preaching  to  the 
Indians.] 

M^^ednef^jay^ 


Mr.   DAVID    BRAINERD.       171 

Wednefday,  January  9.— In  the  morning,  God 
was  pleafed  to  remove  that  gloom  which  has  of  late 
oppreffed  my  mind,  and  gave  me  freedom  and 
f  weetnefs  in  prayer.  I  was  encouraged  and  ftrength- 
ened,  and  enabled  to  plead  for  grace  for  myfelf,  and 
mercy  for  my  poor  Indians  ;  and  was  fweetly  af- 
fifted  in  my  intercefTions  with  God  for  others.  BlefT- 
cd  be  his  holy  name  forever  and  ever  :  Amen,  and 
Amen.  Thoie  things  that  of  late  have  appeared  mod 
difficult  and  almoft  impoffible,  now  appeared  not  on- 
ly poflible,  but  eafy.  My  foul  fo  much  delighted 
to  continue  inftant  in  prayer,  at  this  bleffed  feafon, 
that  I  had  no  defire  for  my  necelfary  food  ;  even 
dreaded  leaving  off  praying  at  all,  left  I  (hould  lofe 

I  this  fpirituality,  and  this  blefTed  thankfulnefs  toGod 
which  I  then  felt.  I  felt  now  quite  willing  to  live, 
and  undergo  all  trials  that  might  remain  for  me  in  a 
world  of  forrow  ;  but  ftill  longed  for  heaven,  that 
I  might  glorify  God  in  a  perfed:  manner.     O  come^ 

!  Lord  Jejus,  come  quickly.     Spent  the  day  in  reading 

'  a  little  j  and  in  fome  diverfions,  which  I  was  necef- 
iitated  to  take  by  reafon  of  much  weaknefs  and  dif- 
order.     In  the  evening,  enjoyed  fome  freedom  and 

I  intenfenefs  in  prayer. 

[The  three  remaining  days  of  the  week,  he  was 
very  low  and  feeble  in  body  ;  but  neverthelefs  con- 
tinued conftantly  in  the  fame  comfortable  fweet  frame 
of  mind,  as  is  exprefled  on  Wednefday.  On  the 
Sabbath,  this  fvveetnefs  and  fpiritual  alacrity  began 
to  abate  :  But  ftill  he  enjoyed  fome  degree  of  com- 
fort, and  had  alhftance  in  preaching  to  the  Indians. 
On  Monday  and  Tuefday  he  was  in  a  ftate  of  dcpref- 
fion.] 

Wednefday,  andThurfday,  January  16,  and  17. — I 
fpent  moft  of  the  time  in  writing  on  a  fweet  divine 
fubjecl,  and  enjoyed  fome  freedom  and  afliftance. 
Was  likewife  enabled  to  pray  more  frequently  and 

fervently 


172  The    LIFE    of 

fervently  thanufual  ;  and  my  foul,  I  think,  rejoiced 
in  God  ;  efpecially^n  the  evening  of  the  lad  of  thefe 
days  :  Praife  then  feemed  comely,  and  1  delighted 
to  blefs  the  Lord.  O  what  reafon  have  I  to  be  thank- 
ful, that  God  ever  helps  me  to  labour  and  ftudy  for 
him  !  He  does  but  receive  his  own,  when  I  am  ena- 
bled in  any  meafure  to  praife  him,  labour  for  him; 
and  live  to  him.  O,  how  comfortable  and  fvveet  il 
is,  to  feel  the  affiflance  of  divine  grace  in  the  per- 
formance  of  the  duties  God  has  enjoined  us/  Blefi 
the  Lord,  O  my  foul. 

[The  fame  enlargement  of  heart  and  joyful  frame 
of  foul  continued  through  the  next  day.  But  on  th( 
day  following  it  began  to  decline  ;  which  decay 
feems  to  have  continued  the  whole  of  the  next  week ; 
which  feems  to  have  continued  the  week  following 
with  an  increafe  of  deje(5lion  and  melancholy.  Yet 
he  enjoyed  fome  feafons  of  fpecial  and  fweet  affi fi- 
ance.] 

Lord's  Day,  February  3. — In  the  morning,  I  was 
fomewhat  relieved  of  that  gloom  and  confufion,  that 
my  mind  has  of  late  been  greatly  exercifed  with  : 
Was  enabled  to  pray  with  fome  compofure,  and 
comfort.  But  however,  went  to  my  Indians  trem- 
bling ;  for  my  foul  remembered  the  ivormwood  and 
the  gall  (I  might  almoft  fay  the  hell)  of  Friday  lafl  ; 
and  I  was  greatly  afraid  1  fhould  be  obliged  again 
to  drink  of  that  cup  of  trembling,  which  was  incon- 
ceivably more  bitter  than  death,  and  made  me  long 
for  the  grave  more,  unfpeakably  more,  than  for  hid 
treafures,  yea,  inconceivably  more  than  the  men  of 
this  world  long  for  fuch  treafures.  But  God  was 
pleafed  to  hear  my  cries,  and  to  afford  me  great  af- 
liftance  ;  fo  that  I  felt  peace  in  my  own  foul  ;  and 
was  fatisficd  that  if  not  one  of  the  Indians  fliould  be 
profited  by  my  preaching,  but  fliould  all  be  damn- 
ed, yet  I  fhould  be  accepted  and  rewarded  as  fnithful ; 

for 


Mr.   DAVID  BRAINERD.      173 

for  I  am  perfuaded,  God  enabled  me  to  be  fo.  Had 
feme  good  degree  of  help  afterwards,  at  another 
place  ;  and  much  longed  for  the  converfion  of  the 
poor  Indians.  Was  fomevvhat  refrefhed,  and  com- 
fortable, towards  night,  and  in  the  evening.  O  that 
my  foul  might  praife  the  Lord  for  his  goodnefs^ 
Enjoyed  fome  freedom,  in  the  evening,  in  meditation 
on  Luke  xiii.  24. 

[In  the  three  next  days,  he  was  the  fubjedt  of 
much  dejection  :  But  the  three  remaining  days  of 
the  week  feem  to  have  been  fpent  with  much  com- 
pofure  and  comfort.  On  the  next  Sabbath,  he 
preached  at  Greenwich,  in  New-Jerfey.  In  the  even- 
ing, he  rode  eight  miles  to  vifit  a  fick  man  at  the 
point  of  death,  and  found  him  fpeechlefs  and  fenfe- 
lefs.] 

Monday,  February  u. — About  break  of  day,  the 
fick  man  died.  I  was  affedled  at  the  fight  :  Spent 
the  morning  with  the  mourners  ;  and  after  prayer, 
and  fome  difcourfe  with  them,  I  returned  to  Green- 
wich, and  preached  again  from  Pfal.  Ixxxix.  15. 
And  the  Lord  gave  me  ailifliance  :  I  felt  a  fweet  love 
to  fouls,  and  to  the  kingdom  of  Chrfl:  ;  and  longed 
that  poor  finners  might  know  the  joyful  found.  Sev- 
eral perfons  were  much  affecSted.  And  after  meet- 
ing, I  was  enabled  to  difcourfe,  with  freedom  and 
concern,  to  fome  perfons  that  applied  to  me  under 
fpiritual  trouble.  Left  the  place  fweetly  compofed, 
and  rode  home  to  my  houfe  about  eight  miles  dif- 
tant.  Difcourfed  to  friends,  and  inculcated  divine 
truths  upon  fome.  In  the  evening,  was  in  the  mofl: 
folcmn  frame  that  almoft  ever  I  remember  to  have 
experienced  :  I  know  not  that  ever  death  appeared 
more  real  to  me,  or  that  ever  I  faw  myfelf  in  the 
condition  of  a  dead  corpfe,  laid  out,  and  dreffed  for 
a  lodging  in  the  filcnt  grave,  fo  evidently  as  at  this 
time.     And  yet  I  felt  exceeding  comfortably  :  My 

mind 


174  TheLIFEof 

mind  was  compofed  and  calm,  and  death  appeared 
without  a  fting.  I  think  I  never  felt  fuch  an  univer- 
fal  mortification  to  all  created  objeds  as  now.  O 
how  great  and  folemn  a  thing  it  appeared  to  die  !  O 
how  it  lays  the  greateft  honour  in  the  duft  !  And  O, 
how  vain  and  trifling  did  the  riches,  honours,  and 
pleafures  of  the  world  appear  !  I  could  not,  I  dare; 
not,  fo  much  as  think  of  any  of  them  ;  for  death, 
death,  folemn  (though  not  frightful)  death  appear- 
ed at  the  door.  O,  I  could  fee  myfelf  dead,  and  laid 
out,  and  inclofed  in  my  coffin,  and  put  down  into 
the  cold  grave,  with  greatell  folemnity,  but  without 
terror  !  1  fpent  moft  of  the  evening,  in  converfing 
with  a  dear  chriftian  friend  :  And,  blefled  be  God, 
it  was  a  comfortable  evening  to  us  both.  What  are 
friends  ?  What  are  comforts  ?  What  are  forrows  ? 
What  are  diftrelTes  ?  T^he  time  is  jhort :  It  re?nainsy 
that  they  which  weep^be  as  though  they  wept  tiot  ;  and 
they  which  rejoice,  as  though  they  rejoiced  not  ;  for  the 
fajhion  of  this  world  paffeth  away.  O  cojiie.  Lord  'Je- 
fuSy  come  quickly  :  Amen.  BlefTed  be  God  for  the 
comforts  of  the  paft  day. 

Tuefday,  February  I2. — Was  exceeding  weak  ;  but 
in  a  fweet  refigned,  compofed  frame,  mod  of  the 
day  :  Felt  my  heart  freely  go  forth  after  God  in 
prayer. 

iVednefday,  February  13. — Was  much  exercifed 
with  vapoury  diforders  j  but  ftill  enabled  to  main- 
tain folemnity,  and  I  think  fpirituality. 

Thurfday,  February  14. — Spent  the  day  in  writing 
on  a  divine  fubjedt  :  Enjoyed  health,  and  freedom 
in  my  work  :  Had  a  folemn  fenfe  of  death  ;  as  I 
have  indeed  had  every  day  this  week,  in  fomemcaf- 
ure  :  What  I  felt  on  Monday  laft,  has  been  abiding, 
in  fome  confiderable  degree,  ever  fince. 

Friday y  February  15. — 'Was  engaged  in  writing 
again  almofl  the  whole  day.    In  the  evening,  was 

much 


Mr.   DAVID   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D,        175 

much  a ffi fled  in  meditating  on  that  precious  text, 
Joh.  vii.  37.  Jefusjiood  and  criedy  &c.  I  had  then 
a  fweet  fenfe  of  the  free  grace  of  the  gofpel :  My 
foul  was  encouraged,  warmed  and  quickened,  and 
my  defires  drawn  out  after  God  in  prayer  :  My  foul 
was  watchful,  and  afraid  of  lofing  fo  fweet  a  gueffc 
as  I  then  entertained.  1  continued  long  in  prayer, 
and  meditation,  intermixing  one  with  the  other  ; 
and  was  unwilling  to  be  diverted  by  any  thing  at  all 
from  fo  fweet  an  exercife.  I  longed  to  proclaim  the 
grace  I  then  meditated  upon,  to  the  world  of  finners. 

0  how  quick  and  powerful  is  the  word  of  the  blelf- 
ed  God. 

[The  next  day,  he  complains  of  great  conflitls 
with  corruption,  and  much  difcompofure  of  mind.] 

Lord's  Day  J  February  17. — Preached  to  the  white 
people  (my  interpreter  being  abfent)  in  the  wilder- 
nefs,  upon  the  funny  fide  of  a  hill.  Had  a  confider- 
able  ariembly,  confiding  of  people  that  lived  (at  lead 
many  of  them)  not  lefs  than  thirty  miles  afunder  ; 
fome  of  them  came  near  twenty  miles.  I  difcourfed 
to  them,  all  day,  from  Joh.  vii.  37.  ^efus  Jood  and 
cried t  faying.  If  any  man  thirfl^  &c.  In  the  after- 
noon, it  pleafed  God  to  grant  me  great  freedom  and 
fervency  in  my  difcourfe  j  and  I  was  enabled  to  im- 
itate the  example  of  Chrift  in  the  text,  who  flood 
and  cried.  I  think  I  was  fcarce  ever  enabled  to  offer 
the  free  grace  of  God  to  perifhing  finners  with  more 
freedom  and  plainnefs  in  my  life.     And  afterwards, 

1  was  enabled  earncitly  to  invite  the  children  of  God 
to  come  renewedly,  and  drink  of  this  fountain  of  wa- 
ter of  life,  from  whence  they  have  heretofore  deriv- 
ed unlpeakable  fatisfadiion.  It  was  a  very  comfort- 
able time  to  me  :  There  were  many  tears  in  the  a{- 
fembly  ;  and  I  doubt  not  but  that  the  Spirit  of  God 
was  there,  convincing  poor  finners  of  their  need  of 
Chrift.  In  the  evening,  I  felt  compofed,  and  com- 
fortable, 


176  Th  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

fortable,  though  much  tired  :  I  had  fome  fvveet  fenfe 
of  the  excellency  and  glory  of  God  ;  and  my  foul 
rejoiced,  that  he  was  God  over  all  bleffedforever  ;  but 
was  too  much  crowded  with  company  and  conver- 
lation,  and  longed  to  be  more  alone  with  God.  O 
that  I  could  forever  blefs  God  for  the  mercy  of  this 
day,  who  anj'wered  me  in  the  joy  of  my  heart. 

[The  reft  of  this  week  feems  to  have  been  fpent 
under  a  decay  of  this  life  and  joy,  and  in  diftreffing 
conflid:s  with  corruption  ;  but  not  without  fome 
feafons  of  refrefhment  and  comfort.] 

hordes  Day,  February  2^4.-^In  the  morning,  was 
much  perplexed  :  My  interpreter  being  abfent,  I 
knew  not  how  to  perform  my  work  among  the  In- 
dians. However,  I  rode  to  the  Indians,  got  a  Dutch- 
man to  interpret  for  me,  though  he  was  but  poorly 
qualified  for  the  bufinefs.  Afterwards,  I  came  and 
preached  to  a  few  white  people  from  Joh.  vi.  67. 
Here  the  Lord  feemed  to  unburden  me  in  fome  meaf- 
ure  ;  efpecially  towards  the  clofe  of  my  difcourfe  : 
I  felt  freedom  to  open  the  love  of  Chriji  to  his  own 
dear  difciples ;  When  the  reft  of  the  world  forfakes 
him,  and  are  forfaken  by  him,  that  he  calls  them  no 
more,  he  then  turns  to  his  own,  and  fays,  Willye  alfo 
go  away  ?  I  had  a  fenfe  of  the  free  grace  of  Chrift 
to  his  own  people,  in  fuch  feafons  of  general  appfta- 
{ji  and  when  they  themfelves  in  fome  meafureback- 
flide  with  the  world.  O  the  free  grace  of  Chrift, 
that  he  feafonably  minds  his  people  of  their  danger 
of  backfliding,  and  invites  them  to  perfevere  in  their 
adherence  to  himfelf  !  I  faw  that  backfliding  fouls, 
who  feemed  to  be  about  to  go  away  with  the  world, 
might  return,  and  welcome,  to  him  immediately  ; 
without  any  thing  to  recommend  them  ;  notwith- 
ftanding  all  their  former  backflidings.  And  thus 
my  difcourfe  was  fuited  to  my  own  foul's  cafe  :  For, 
of  late,  I  have  found  a  great  want  of  this  fenfe  and 

apprehenfion 


1 


Mr.   DAVID  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      177 

apprehenfion  of  divine  grace  ;  and  have  often  been 
greatly  diftrejGTed  in  my  own  foul,  becaufe  I  did  not 
fuitabjy  apprehend  i\\\s  fountain  ope?ied  to  purge  a'way 
jin ;  and  fo  have  been  too  much  labouring  for  Ipiritual 
jiro,  peace  of  confciencc,  and  progreffive  hoiineis, 
in  my  own  ftrength  :  But  now  God  flicwed  me,  in 
Co-.^ic  meafure,  the  arm  of  all  ftrength,  and  the  foun- 
tain of  all  grace.  In  the  evening,  I  felt  folemn,  de- 
vout, and  fweet,  refting  on  free  grace  for  afliftance, 
acceptance,  and  peace  of  confcience. 

[Within  the  fpace  of  the  next  nine  days,  he  had 
frequent  refretbing,  invigorating  influences  of  God*s 
fpirit  ;  attended  with  complaint  of  dulnefs,  and 
with  longings  after  fpiritual  life  and  holy  fervency.] 

JVednefJi^y,    March   6. — Spent  mott  of  the  day  in 
preparing  for  a  journey  to  New-England.     Spent 
fome  time  in  prayer,  with  a  fpecial  reference  to  my 
intended  journey.     Was  afraid  I  (bould  forfake  the 
fountain  of  living  ivaters,  and  attempt  to  derive  fatis- 
fad:ion  from  broken  cijierns^  my  dear  friends  and  ac- 
quaintance, with  whom  I  migh-t  meet  in  my  journey. 
I  looked  to  God  to  keep  me  from  this  vanity  in  ipe- 
cial,  as  well  as  others.     Towards  night,  and  in  the 
evening,  was  vifited  by  fome  friends,  fome  of  whom, 
I  trufl,  were  real  chrirtians  ;  who  difcovercd  an  af- 
fedcionate  regard  to  me,  and  i'eemed  grieved  that  I 
was  about  to  leave  them  ;  efpecially  feeing  I  did  not 
expert  to  make  any  confiderable  flay  among  them, 
it  I  flioiild  live  to  return  from  New-England*.     O 
how  kind  has  God  been  to  me  !  How  has  he  raifed 
up  friends  in  every  place,  where  his  providence  has 
called  me  !  Friends  are   a  great 'comfort  ;  and  it  is 
God  that  gives  them  j  it  is  he  makes  them  friendly 
to  me.     Blcf  the  Lord,  O  my  foul,  and  forget  not  all 
his  benefits. 

M  [The 

..  *^^'/«^'P-'  he  had  a  de '".gt,,  ;,y  what  aficrwards  appears,  t«  remove  and  live  among 
the ladiaas  at  Sufcjuchaanah river,-    .  *»       * 


178  TheLIFEof 

[The  next  day,  he  fet  out  on  his  journey  ;  and  it 
was  about  five  weeks  before  he  returned.  The  fpe^ 
cial  defign  of  this  journey,  he  himfelf  declares  after- 
wards, in  his  Diary  for  March  21.  Where,  fpeak- 
ing  of  his  converfing  with  a  certain  minifler  in  New- 
England,  he  fays  thus.  Contrived  with  him  how  to 
raife  fome  money  among  chriftian  friends,  in  o.tder 
to  fupport  a  colleague  with  me  in  the  wildernefs,  (I 
having  now  fpent  two  years  in  a  very  folitary  man- 
ner) that  we  might  be  together  ;  as  Chrifl:  lent  out 
his  difciples,  two  and  two  :  And  as  this  was  the 
principal  concern  I  had  in  view,  in  taking  this  jour- 
ney, fo  I  took  pains  in  it,  and  hope  God  will  fuc- 
ceed  it  if  for  his  glory.  He  firft  went  into  various 
parts  of  New-]erfey,  and  viiited  feveral  minifters 
there  :  And  then  went  to  New-York  ;  and  from 
thence  into  New-England,  going  to  various  parts  of 
Connedlicut  :  And  then  returned  into  New-Jerfey. 
He  met  a  number  of  miniflers  at  Woodbridge,  who 
(he  fays)  met  there  to  confult  about  the  affairs  of 
Chrifl: 's  kingdom,  in  fome  important  articles.  He 
feems,  for  themolT:  part,  to  have  been  free  from  mel- 
ancholy in  this  journey  ;  and  many  times  to  have 
had  extraordinary  affiftance  in  publick  miniftrations, 
and  his  preaching  fometimes  attended  with  very 
hopeful  appearances  of  a  good  effect  on  the  audito- 
ry. He  alfo  had  many  feafons  of  fpecial  comfort 
and  fpiritual  refreflimcnt,  in  converfation  with  min- 
iflers  and  other  chriftian  friends,  and  alio  in  medita- 
tion and  prayer  by  himfelf  alone.] 

Saturday^  April  13. — Rode  home  to  my  own  houfe 
at  the  Forks  of  Delaware  :  Was  enabled  to  remem- 
ber the  goodnefs  of  the  Lord,  who  has  now  prefervcd 
me  while  riding  full  fix  hundred  miles  in  this  jour- 
ney ;  has  kept  me  that  none  of  my  bones  have  been 
broken.  BlcfTed  be  the  Lord,  who  has  preferved  me 
in  this  tedious  journey,  and  returned  me  in  fafety  to 

my 


Mr.    DAVID   BRA  I  NERD.      179 

my  own  houfe.  Verily  it  is  God  that  has  upheld 
me,  and  guarded  my  goings. 

Lord's  Day,  April  14. — Was  difordered  in  body 
with  the  fatigues  of  my  late  journey  j  but  was  ena- 
1^  bled  however  to  preach  to  a  confiderable  aflembly  of 

white  people,  gathered  from  all  parts  round  about, 
with  fome  freedom,  from  Ezek.  xx:^iii.  11.  As  1 
live,  faith  the  Lord  God,  &c.  had  much  more  aiiifl- 
ance  than  I  expected. 

[This  week,  he  went  a  journey  to  Philadelphia, 
in  order  to  engage  the  governour  there  to  ule  his  in- 
tereft  with  the  chief  man  of  the  Six  Nations,  (with 
whom  he  maintained  a  ftricl  friendfliip)  that  he 
would  give  him  leave  to  live  at  Sufquehannah,  and 
inftriid:  the  Indians  that  are  within  their  territories. 
In  his  way  to  and  from  thence,  he  lodged  with  Mr. 
Beaty,  a  young  Prefbyterian  minifter.  He  fpeaks 
of  feafons  of  fvveet  fpiritual  refrertmient,  that  he  en- 
joyed at  his  lodgings.] 

Saturday,  April  20. — Rode  with  Mr.  Beaty  to 
Abington,  to  attend  Mr.  Treat's  adminiftration  of 
the  facrament,  according  to  the  method  of  the  church 
of  Scotland.  When  we  arrived,  we  found  Mr.  Treat 
preaching  :  Afterwards  I  preached  a  fermon  from 
Matth.  v.  3.  Blejfed  are  the  poor  infpirit,  &g.  God 
was.  pleafed  to  give  me  great  treedom  and  tender- 
nefs,  both  in  prayer  and  fermon  :  The  aJTembly  was 
fweetly  melted,  and  fcores  were  all  in  tears.  It  was,  as 
I  then  hoped  and  was  afterwards  abundantly  fatisfi- 
ed  by  converfing  with  them,  a  word  f poke n  infeafo?!^ 
to  many  weary  Jot/Is.  1  was  extremely  tired,  and  my 
fpirits  much  exhaufted,  fothat  I  could  fcarcely  fpeak 
loud  j  yet  I  could  not  help  rejoicing  in  God. 

Lord's  Day,  April  21 . — In  the  morning,  was  calm 
and  compofed,  and  had  fome  outgoings  of  foul  after 
God  in  fecret  duties,  and  longing  defires  of  his  pref-* 
ence  in  the  fand:uary  and  at  his  table  j  that  his  pref- 

M  2  ence 


i8o  TheLIFEof 

ence  might  be  in  the  affembly  ;  and  that  his  children 
might  be  entertained  with  a  feaji  of  fat  things.  In 
the  forenoon,  Mr.  Treat  preached.  I  felt  fome  af- 
fecflion  and  tendernefs  in  the  fea(bn  of  the  adminif- 
tration  of  the  ordinance.  Mr.  Beaty  preached  to  the 
multitude  abroad,  who  could  not  half  have  crowded 
into  the  meeting  houfe.  In  the  feafon  of  the  com- 
munion, 1  had  comfortable  and  fweet  apprehenfions 
of  the  blifsful  communion  of  God's  people,  when 
they  fhall  meet  at  their  father's  table  in  his  kingdom, 
in  a  ftatc  of  perfecftion.  In  the  afternoon,  I  preach- 
ed abroad  to  the  whole  affembly,  from  Rev.  xiv.  4. 
Thefe  are  they  that  follow  the  La?nb,  &c.  God  was 
pleafed  again  to  give  me  very  great  freedom  and 
clearnefs,  but  not  fo  much  warmth  as  before.  How- 
ever, there  was  a  moft  amazing  attention  in  the 
"whole  affembly  ;  and,  as  I  was  informed  afterwards, 
this  was  a  fweet  feafon  to  many. 

Mo?jday,  April  10,. — I  enjoyed  fome  fweetnefs  in 
retirement,  in  the  morning.  At  eleven  o'clock  Mr. 
Beaty  preached,  with  freedom  and  life.  Then  I 
preached  from  Job.  vii.  37.  and  concluded  the  fo- 
lemnit}'-.  Had  fome  freedom  ;  but  not  equal  to 
what  I  had  enjoyed  before  :  Yet  in  the  prayer,  the 
Lord  enabled  me  to  cry  (I  hope)  with  a  child  like 
temper,  with  tendernefs,  and  brokennefs  of  heart. 
Came  home  with  Mr.  Beaty  to  his  lodgings ;  and 
fpent  the  time,  while  riding,  and  afterwards,  very 
agreeably  on  divine  things. 

Tuefday,  April  23. — Left  Mr.  Beaty's,  and  re- 
turned home  to  the  Forks  of  Delaware  :  Enjoyed 
fome  fweet  meditations,  on  the  road,  and  was 
enabled  to  lift  up  my  heart  to  God  in  prayer  and 
praife. 

[The  two  next  days,  he  fpeaks  of  much  bodily 
diforder,  but  of  fome  degrees  of  fpiritual  afliftance 
and  freedom.] 

Friday  J 


Mr.   DAVID   BRAIN  ERD.        i8i 

Friday,  April  id. — Converfed  with  a  chriftian 
friend  with  fome  warmth  ;  and  felt  a  fpirit  of  mor- 
tification to  the  world,  in  a  very  great  degree.  Af- 
terwards, was  enabled  to  pray  fervently  and  to  rely- 
on  God  fweetly,  for  all  things  pertaining  to  life  and 
godlinefs.  J  aft  in  the  evening,  was  vifited  by  a  dear 
chriftian  friend,  with  whom  I  fpent  an  hour  or  two 
in  converfation,  on  the  very  foul  of  religion.  There 
are  many  with  whom  I  can  talk  about  religion  :  Rut 
alas,  I  find  few  with  whom  I  can  talk  religion  itfelf : 
But,  blefled  be  the  Lord,  there  are  fome  that  love  to 
feed  on  the  kernel,  rather  than  the  fliell. 

[The  next  day  he  went  to  the  Irifh  fettlement, 
often  before  mentioned,  about  fifteen  miles  diflant  ; 
where  he  fpent  the  Sabbath,  and  preached  with 
fome  confiderablf!  affiflance.  On  Monday,  he  re- 
turned, in  a  very  weak  ftate,  Xo  his  own  lodgings.] 

Tuefday,  April  y). — Was  fcarceable  to  walk  about, 
and  was  obliged  to  betake  myfelf  to  the  bed,  much 
of  the  day  ;  and  fpent  away  the  time  in  a  very  foli- 
tary  manner  ;  being  neither  able  to  read,  meditate, 
nor  pray,  and  had  none  to  converfe  with  in  that  wil- 
dernefs.  O,  how  heavily  docs  time  pais  away,  when 
I  can  do  nothing  to  any  good  purpofe  ;  but  feem 
obliged  to  trifle  away  precious  time  !  But  of  late,  I 
have  feen  it  my  duty  to  divert  myfelf  by  all  lawful 
means,  that  I  may  be  fit,  at  ieaft  fome  fmall  part  of 
my  time,  to  labour  for  God.  And  here  is  the  dif- 
ference between  niy  prefent  diverfions,  and  thofe  f 
once  purfued,  when  in  a  natural  ftate.  Then  I  made 
a  god  of  diverfions,  delighted  in  them  with  a  neg- 
led  of  God,  and  drew  my  highefi:  fatisfadion  from 
them  :  Now  I  ufe  them  as  means  to  help  me  in  liv- 
ing to  God  ;  fi.xed'y  delighting  in  him,  and  not  in 
them,  drawing  my  higheft  fatisfadion  from  him. 
Then  they  were  my  all  ;  now  they  are  only  means 
leading  to  my  all.  And  thofe  things  that  arc  the 
M  3  greateft 


j&z  T  H  E     L  I  F  E    o  F 

greateft  diverfion,  when  purfued  with  this  view,  do 
not  tend  to  hinder,  but  promote  my  fpirituahty  ;  and 
1  fee  now,  more  than  ever,  that  they  are  abiolutely 
necefTary. 

Wednefday.May  i . — Was  not  able  to  fit  up  more  than 
half  the  day  ;  and  yet  had  fuch  recruits  of  ftrength 
fometimes,  that  I  was  able  to  write  a  little  on  a  divine 
iubjedl.  Was  grieved  that  I  could  no  more  live  to 
God.  In  the  evening,  had  fome  fvveetnefs  and  in- 
tenfenefs  in  fecret  prayer. 

Thtirfday,  May  2. — In  the  evening,  being  a  little 
better  in  health,  I  walked  into  the  woods,  and  enjoy- 
ed a  fvveet  feafon  of  meditation  and  prayer.  My 
thoughts  run  upon  Pfal.  xvii.  15.  I  jhall  be  fatisfi^ 
edi  when  I  awake  with  thy  likenej's.  And  it  was  in- 
deed a  precious  text  to  me.  I  longed  to  preach  to 
the  whole  world  :  And  it  feemed  to  me,  they  muft 
needs  all  be  melted  in  hearing  fuch  precious  divine 
truths,  as  I  had  then  a  view  and  relifh  of.  My 
thoughts  were  exceeding  clear,  and  my  foul  was  re- 
frefhed.  BlefTed  be  the  Lord,  that  in  my  late  and 
prefent  weaknefs,  now  for  many  days  together,  my 
mind  is  not  gloomy,  as  at  fome  other  times. 

Friday,  May  3. — Felt  a  little  vigour  of  body  and 
mind,  in  the  morning  :  Had  fome  freedom,  ftrength, 
and  fweetnefs  in  prayer.  Rode  to  and  fpent  fome 
time  with  my  Indians.  In  the  evening,  again  retir- 
ing into  the  woods,  I  enjoyed  fome  fvveet  medita- 
tions on  Ifai.  liii.  10.  Tet  it  pleafedthe  Lord  to  bruife 
hinu  &c. 

[The  three  next  days  were  fpent  in  much  weak- 
nefs of  body  :  But  yet  he  enjoyed  fome  affiftance  in 
publick  and  private  duties  :  And  feems  to  have  re- 
mained free  from  melancholy.]    - 

Tuejdayy  May  7. — Spent  the  day  mainly  in  mak- 
ing preparation  for  a  journey  into  the  wildernefs. 
Was  ftill  weak,  and  concerned  how  I  fhould  perforn^ 

fo 


Mr.    DAVID    B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.       183 

fo  difficult  a  journey.  Spent  fome  time  in  prayer 
for  the  divine  blefling,  direction  and  prote<^ion  in 
my  intended  journey  ;  but  wanted  bodily  ftrengthto 
fpend  the  day  in  falling  and  prayer. 

[The  next  day,  he  fet  out  on  his  journey  to  Sufque- 
hannah,  with  his  interpreter.  He  endured  great  hard- 
fliips  and  fatigues  in  his  way  thither  through  a  hid- 
eous wilderneTs ;  where,  after  havinglodged  one  night 
in  the  open  woods,  he  was  overtaken  with  a  northeail- 
crly  ftorm,  in  which  he  was  almoft  ready  to  perifh. 
Having  no  manner  of  flielter,  and  not  being  able  to 
make  a  fire  in  fo  great  a  rain,  he  could  have  no  com- 
fort if  he  {topped  ;  therefore  determined  to  go  for- 
ward, in  hopes  of  meeting  with  fome  flielter,  with- 
out which  he  thought  it  impolfible  he  Ihould  live 
the  night  through  :  But  their  horfes  happening  to 
have  eat  poifon  for  want  of  other  food,  at  a  place 
where  they  lodged  the  night  before,  v;ere  fo  fick  that 
they  could  neither  ride  nor  lead  them,  but  were 
obliged  to  drive  them  before  them,  and  travel  on 
foot;  until,  through  the  mercy  of  God,  jufl  at  dulk, 
they  came  to  a  bark  hut,  where  they  lodged  that 
night.  After  he  came  to  Sufquehannah,  he  travel- 
led about  the  length  of  an  hundred  miles  on  the  riv- 
er, and  vifited  many  towns  and  fettlements  of  the 
Indians  ;  faw  fome  of  feven  or  eight  diflind:  tribes  ; 
and  preached  to  different  nations,  by  different  inter- 
preters. He  was  fomctimes  much  difcouraged,  and 
funk  in  his  fpirits,  through  the  oppofition  that  ap- 
peared in  the  Indians  to  chriftianity.  At  other  times, 
he  was  encouraged  by  the  difpofition  that  fome  of 
thefe  people  manifefled  to  hear,  and  wiliingnefs  to 
be  inftruded.  He  here  met  with  fome  that  had  for- 
merly been  his  hearers  at  Kaunaumeek,  and  had  re- 
moved hither  ;  who  faw  and  heard  him  again  with 
great  joy.  He  fpent  a  fortnight  among  the  Indians 
on  this  river  ;  and  pafTed  through  considerable  la, 
M  4  hours*  ' 


1^4  TheLIFEof 

hours  and  hardfhips,  frequently  lodging  on  the 
ground,  and  fometimes  in  the  open  air  ;  and  at 
length  he  fell  extremely  ill,  as  he  was  riding  in  the 
wildernefs,  being  feized  with  an  ague,  followed 
with  a  burning  fever,  and  extreme  pains  in  his  head 
and  bowels,  attended  with  a  great  evacuation  of 
blood  ;  fo  that  he  thought  he  mufl:  have  perifhed  in 
the  wildernefs  :  But  at  lall coming  to  an  Indian  tra- 
der's hut,  he  got  leave  to  flay  there  ;  and  though 
without  phyfick  or  food  proper  for  him,  it  pleafcd 
God,  after  about  a  week's  diflrefs,  to  relieve  him  fo 
far  that  he  was  able  to  ride.  He  returned  home- 
w-ards  from  Juncauta,  an  Ifland  far  down  the  river  ; 
where  was  a  confiderable  number  of  Indians,  who 
appeared  m.ore  free  from  prejudices  againflchriflian- 
ity  than  mofl  of  the  other  Indians.  He  arrived  at 
the  Forks  of  Delaware  on  Thurfday,  May  30,  after 
having  rode  in  this  journey  about  three  hundred 
and  forty  miles.  He  came  home  in  a  very  v/eak 
flate,  and  under  dejed;ion  of  mind  ;  which  was  a 
great  hindrance  to  him  in  religious  exercifes. — 
However,  on  the  Sabbath,  after  having  preached 
to  the  Indians,  he  preached  to  the  white  people, 
with  fome  fuccefs,  from  Ifai.  liii.  10.  I^et  it  pleaf- 
cd the  Lord  to  bruij'e  him.  Sec.  fome  being  awak- 
ened by  his  preaching.  The  next  day,  he  v.'as 
much  exercifed  for  want  of  fpiritual  life  and  fer- 
vency.] 

Ti^e/day,  ^une  4, — Towards  evening  was  in  dif- 
trefs  for  God's  prefence  and  a  fenfe  of  divine  things  : 
Withdrew  myfelf  to  the  woods,  raid  fpent  near  an 
hour  in  prayer  and  meditation  ;  and  I  think  the 
Lord  had  compafTion  on  me,  and  gave  mc  fome 
fenfe  of  divine  things  ;  which  was  indeed  refrefh- 
ing  and  quickening  to  me  :  My  foul  enjoyed  in- 
tenfenefs  and  freedom  in  prayer,  fo  that  it  grieved  mc 
tpjeave  the  place. 

JVedne/daVf 


Mr.    DAVID  BR  AI  NERD.      185 

Wednefday^  "June  5. — Felt  thirfting  delires  after 
God,  in  the  morning.  In  the  evening  enjoyed  a  pre- 
cious feafon  of  retirement :  Was  favoured  with  iome 
clear  and  fvveet  meditations  upon  a  facred  text  : 
Divine  things  opened  with  clearnefs  and  certainty, 
and  had  a  divine  ftamp  upon  them.  My  foul  was 
alfo  enlarged  and  refrcdied  in  prayer  ;  and  I  delight- 
ed to  continue  in  the  duty  ;  and  was  fvveetly  affifb- 
ed  in  praying  for  fellow  chriftians,  and  my  dear 
brethren  in  the  miniflry.  BlefTed  be  the  dear  Lord 
for  fuch  enjoyments.  O  how  fvveet  atid  precious  it 
is,  to  have  a  clear  apprehenfion  and  tender  fenfe  of 
the  7iiyjlery  of  godlinej's ^  of  true  holinefs,  and  likenefs 
to  the  beft  of  beings  !  O  what  a  bleilednefs  it  is,  to 
be  as  much  like  God  as  it  is  poflible  for  a  creature 
to  be  like  his  great  Creator  !  Lord  give  me  more 
of  thy  likenefs  :  1  fliall  be  fatisfed,  ivben  I  awake 
ivith  it. 

Thuifdiiy,  '^une  6. — Was  engaged  a  confiderabie 
part  of  the  day,  in  meditation  and  fludy  on  divine 
fubjecls.  Enjoyed  fome  fpecial  freedom,  clearnefs, 
and  fvveetnefs  in  meditation.  O  how  refrefliing  it 
is,  to  be  enabled  to  improve  time  well  ! 

[The  next  day  he  went  a  journey  of  near  fif- 
ty miles,  to  Neiliaming,  to  affift  at  a  facramental 
occafion,  to  be  attended  at  Mr.  Beaty's  meet- 
ing houfe  J  being  invited  thither  by  him  and  his 
people.] 

Saturday^  'June  8. — Was  exceeding  weak  and  fa- 
tigued with  riding  in  the  heat  yefterday  :  But  being 
defired,  1  preached  in  the  afternoon,  to  a  crowded 
audience,  from  Ifai.  xl.  i.  Con  fort  ye,  co?vfortye  tny 
people,  faith  your  God.  God  was  pleafed  to  give  me 
great  freedon^  in  opening  the  forrows  of  God*s  peo- 
ple, and  in  letting  before  them  comforting  confid- 
erations.  And  blelTed  be  the  Lord,  it  was  a  fwcet 
ITielting  feafon  in  the  afTembly. 

Lord's 


i86  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

Lord's  Day^  'June  9. — Felt  fome  longing  defires  of 
the  prefence  of  God  to  be  with  his  people  on  the  foU 
emn  occafion  of  the  day.  In  the  forenoon  Mr.  Beaty 
preached  ;  and  there  appeared  fome  warmth  in  the 
affembJy.  Afterwards  I  affifted  in  the  adminiftra- 
tion  of  the  Lord*s  Supper  :  And  towards  the  clofe 
of  it,  I  difcoiirfed  to  the  multitude  extempore,  with 
fome  reference  to  that  facred  paffage,  Ifai.  liii.  lO. 
Tet  it  pleafed  the  Lord  to  bruife  hiin.  Here  God 
gave  me  great  aHiflance  in  addrefTmg  finners  :  And 
the  word  was  attended  with  amazing  power  ;  ma- 
ny fcores,  if  not  hundreds,  in  that  great  affembly, 
conflfting  of  three  or  four  thoufiind,  were  much  af- 
fected ;  fo  that  there  was  a  very  great  mournings  like 
the  mourning  of  Hadadrimmon .  In  the  evening  I 
could  hardly  look  any  body  in  the  flice,  becaufe  of 
the  imperfedions  I  faw  in  my  performances  in  the 
day  paft. 

Monday,  June  10.— Preached  with  a  good  degree 
of  clearnefs  and  with  fome  fweet  warmth,  from 
Pfal.  xvii.  15.  IJhallbeJatisJiedy  when  1  awake  with  thy 
likenefs.  And  bleffcd  be  God,  there  was  a  great  io- 
lemnity  and  attention  in  the  affembly,  and  fweet 
refrelhment  among  God*s  people  ;  as  was  evident 
then  and  afterwards. 

Tuefday,  June  n. — Spent  the  day  mainly  in  con- 
verfation  with  dear  chriftian  friends  ;  and  enjoyed 
fome  fweet  fenfe  of  divine  things.  O  how  defira- 
ble  it  is,  to  keep  company  with  God*s  dear  children  ! 
Thefe  are  the  excellent  ones  of  the  earth,  in  whom,  I 
can  truly  fay,  is  all  my  delight.  O  what  delight  will 
it  afford,  to  meet  them  all  in  a  ftate  of  pcrfedtion  ! 
Lord,  prepare  me  for  that  ftate. 

[The  next  day  he  left  Mr.  Bcaty^s,  and  went  to 
Maidenhead  in  New-Jerfey  ;  and  fpent  ni"ft  next 
feven  days  in  a  comfortable  ftate  of  mind,  vifiting 
feveral  minifters  ill  thofc  parts.] 

Tuefdayy 


Mr.   DA  VI  D    BR  A  I  NERD.        187 

I'uefday,  'June  18, — Set  out  from  New-Brunfwick 
with  a  defign  to  vilit  fbme  Indians  at  a  place  called 
Crofweekfung  in  New-Jerfey,  towards  the  fea.  In 
the  afternoon,  came  to  a  place  called  Cranber- 
ry, and  meeting  with  a  ferious  minifter,  Mr. 
M'Night,  I  lodged  there  with  him.  Had  fome  en- 
largement and  freedom  in  prayer  with  a  number  of 
people. 


PART 


m  T  H  E    LI  F  E    o  F 

PART        VII. 


From  bis  jirjl  beginning  to  preach  to  the  Indians  at 
Crosweeksung,  until  be  returned  from  his  lajl 
journey  to  Susquehannah  ///  with  the  confump- 
tion,  'whereof  he  died. 


[T  yf  7E  are  now  come  to  that  part  of  Mr  Brainerd's 
V  V  life  wherein  he  had  his  greateil  fuccefs,  in 
bis  labours  for  the  good  of  fouls,  and  in  his  particu- 
lar bufinefs  as  a  Millionary  to  the  Indians.  An  ac- 
count of  which,  if  here  publiflied,  would  doubtlefs 
be  very  entertaining  to  the  reader,  after  he  has  fecn 
by  the  preceding  parts  of  this  account  of  his  life, 
how  great  and  long  continued  his  defires  for  the  fpir- 
itual  good  of  this  fort  of  people  were,  how  he  pray- 
ed, laboured  and  wreftled,  and  how  much  he  deni- 
ed himfelf  and  fufFered,  to  this  end.  After  all  Mr. 
Brainerd*s  agonizing  in  prayer,  and  travelling  in 
birth,  for  the  converfion  of  Indians,  and  all  the  in- 
terchanges of  his  raifed  hopes  and  expedtations,  and 
then  difappointments  and  difcouragemcnts ;  and  af- 
ter waiting  in  a  way  of  perfevering  prayer,  labour 
and  fuffering,'  as  it  were  through  a  long  night, 
at  length  the  day  dawns  :  Weeping  continues  for  a 
nighty  but  joy  comes  in  the  morning.  He  li^ent  forth 
weepings  bearing  precious  feed^  and  now  he  comes  zvith 
rejoicings  bringing  his  fJoeaves  with  him.  The  defir- 
cd  event  is  brought  to  pafs  at  laft  ;  but  at  a  time,  in 
a  place,  and  upon  fubjeds,  that  fcarce  ever  entered 
into  his  heart.  An  account  of  the  whole  fcene  the 
reader  will  find  in  the  annexed  journal.] 

Wedncfday^ 


Mr.    DAVID    B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      189 

Wednejday,  ^une  19^  1745- — Rode  to  the  Indians 
at  Crofweekfung  :  Found  few  at  home;  difcourfcd 
to  them  however  ;  and  obferved  them  very  ferious 
and  attentive.  At  night  I  was  extremely  worn  out, 
and  fcarce  able  to  walk  or  (it  up.  O  how  tirefome 
is  earth  !  How  dull  the  body  ! 

Friday,  Ju?ie  2i. — Rode  to  Freehold,  to  fee  Mr. 
William  Tennent  ;  and  fpent  the  day  comfortably 
with  him.  My  linking  fpirits  were  a  little  raifed 
and  encouraged  ;  and  I  felt  my  foul  breathing  after 
God,  in  the  midft  of  chriftian  converfation.  And 
in  the  evening  was  refrcfhed  in  fecret  prayer  :  Saw 
myfelf  a  poor  worthlefs  creature,  without  wifdom  to 
direct  or  itrength  to  help  myfelf.  O  blefled  be  God, 
that  lays  me  under  a  happy,  a  bleffed  neceflity  of 
living  upon  himfelf ! 

[In  the  five  next  days  is  nothing  remarkable  in 
his  diary,  but  what  is  in  his  publick  journal.] 

Thurjday,  ^june  27. — My  foul  rejoiced  to  find  that 
God  enabled  me  to  be  faithful,  and  that  he  was 
pleafed  to  awaken  thefe  poor  Indians  by  my  means. 
O  how  heart  reviving,  and  foul  refrefliing  is  it  to  mc 
to  fee  the  fruit  of  my  labours  ! 

Fridjy,  June  28. — In  the  evening  my  foul  was 
revived  and  my  heart  lifted  up  to  God  in  prayer, 
for  my  poor  Indians,  myfelf  and  friends,  and  the  dear 
church  of  God.  And  O  how  refrefliing,  how  fweet 
was  this  !  Blefs  the  Lord,  O  my  foul,  and  forget  not 
his  goodnefs  and  tender  mercy, 

Saturday,  'June2g. — Preached  twice  to  the  Indians  ; 
and  could  not  but  wonder  at  their  ferioufnefs,  and 
the  ftrictnefs  of  their  attention.  Bleiled  be  God  that 
has  inclined  their  hearts  to  hear.  And  O  how  re- 
frefhing  it  is  to  me,  to  fee  them  attend  with  fuch 
uncommon  diligence  and  affection,  with  tears  in 
their  eyes,  and  concern  in  their  hearts  !  In  the  even- 
ing could  not  but  lift  up  my  heart  to  God  in  prayer, 

while 


190  The     life    of 

while  riding  to  my  lodgings  :  And  blefTed  be  his 
name,  had  afliftance  and  freedom.  O  how  much 
better  than  life  is  the  prefence  of  God  ! 

[His  Diary  gives  an  account  of  nothing  remarkable 
on  the  two  next  days,  befides  what  is  in  his  publick 
journal  ;  excepting  his  heart*s  being  lifted  up  with 
thankfulnefs,  rejoicing  in  God,  &c.] 

Tuefday^  'July  2. — Rode  from  the  Indians  to  Brunf- 
wick,  near  forty  miles,  and  lodged  there.  Felt  my 
heart  drawn  out  after  God  in  prayer,  almoft  all  the 
forenoon  ;  efpccially  while  riding.  And  in  the 
evening  could  not  help  crying  to  God  for  thofe  poor 
Indians  ;  and  after  I  went  to  bed,  my  heart  continu- 
ed to  go  out  to  God  for  them,  until  I  dropped  afleep. 
O  blefTed  be  God  that  I  may  pray  ! 

[He  was  fo  beat  out  by  conftant  preaching  to  thefe 
Indians,  yielding  to  their  earneft  and  importunate 
defires,  that  he  found  it  nccelTary  to  give  himfelf 
fome  relaxation.  He  fpent,  therefore,  about  a  week 
in  New-Jerfey,  after  he  left  thefe  Indians,  vifiting 
leveral  miniflers,  and  performing  fome  necefTary 
bufinefs,  before  he  went  to  the  Forks  of  Delaware. 
And  though  he  was  very  weak  in  body,  yet  he  feems 
to  have  been  flrong  in  fpirit.  On  Friday,  July  12, 
he  arrived  at  his  own  houfe  in  the  Forks  of  Dela- 
ware ;  continuing  ftill  free  from  melancholy  ;  from 
day  to  day,  enjoying  freedom,  affiflance  and  refrefh- 
ment  in  the  inner  man.  But  on  Wednefday, 
the  next  week,  he  feems  to  have  had  fome  mel- 
ancholy thoughts  about  his  doing  fo  little  for 
God  ;  being  fo  much  hindered  by  weaknefs  of 
body.] 

Thurfday^  July  18. — Longed  to  fpend  the  little 
inch  of  time  1  have  in  the  world  more  for  God.  Felt 
a  fpirit  of  ferioufnefs,  tendernefs,  fweetnefs,  and  de- 
votion, and  widied  to  fpend  the  whole  night  in  prayer 
and  communion  with  God, 

Friday, 


i 


Mr.    DAVID     BRAINERD       191 

Friday,  ^"july  19. — In  the  evening,  walked  abroad 
for  prayer  and  meditation,  and  enjoyed  compofure 
and  freedom  in  thefe  fvveet  exercifes  ;  efpecially  in 
meditation  on  Rev.  iii.  12.  Him  that  overcometh,  will 
I  ?nake  a  pillar  in  the  temple  of  my  God,  &;c.  This 
was  then  a  delightful  them.e  to  me,  and  it  refreshed 
my  fold  to  dwell  upon  it.  O,  when  (liall  I  go  ?io 
more  out  from  the  fcrvice  and  enjoyment  of  the  dear 
Lord  ?  Lord,  haft  en  the  bleffed  day. 

[Within  the  fpace  of  the  next  fix  days,  he  fpeaks 
of  much  inward  refreihment  and  enlargement  from 
time  to  time.] 

Friday,  '^uly  26. — In  the  evening,  God  was  pleaf- 
ed  to  help  me  in  prayer,  beyond  what  I  have  expe- 
rienced for  fpme  time  ,-  efpecially  my  foul  was 
drawn  out  for  the  enlargement  of  Chrift's  kingdom, 
and  for  the  converfion  of  my  poor  people  ;  and  my 
foul  relied  on  God  for  the  accompliQiment  of  that 
great  work.  O,  how  fvveet  were  the  thoughts  of 
death  to  mc  at  this  time  !  O,  how  I  longed  to  be 
with  Chrift,  to  be  employed  in  the  glorious  work 
of  angels,  and  with  an  angel's  freedom,  vigour  and 
delight  !  And  yet  how  willing  was  I  to  ftay  a  while 
on  earth,  that  I  might  do  fomething,  if  the  Lord 
plcafed,  for  his  intereft  in  the  world  !  My  foul,  my 
very  foul,  longed  for  the  ingathering  of  the  poor 
heathen ;  and  I  cried  to  God  for  them  moft  willingly 
and  heartily  ;  and  yet  becaufe  I  could  not  but  cry. 
This  was  a  fweet  feafon  ;  for  I  had  fome  lively  tafte 
of  heaven,  and  a  temper  of  mind  fuited  in  fome 
meafure  to  tlie  employments  and  entertainments  of 
it.  My  foul  was  grieved  to  leave  the  place  ;  but  my 
body  was  weak  and  worn  out,  and  it  was  near  nine 
o'clock.  O,  I  longed  that  the  remaining  part  of  my 
life  might  be  filled  up  with  more  fervency  and  activ- 
ity in  the  things  of  God  !  O,  tht  inward  peace,  com- 
pofure,  and  God  like  ferenity  of  fuch   a   frame  ! 

Heaven 


IQ2  The    life    of 

Heaven  mufl  needs  differ  from  this  only  in  degree, 
and  not  in  kind.     Lord  ever  give  me  this  bread  of  life. 

[Much  of  this  frame  feemed  to  continue  the 
next  day.] 

Lord's  Day,  Ju/y  28. — In  the  evening  my  foul 
was  melted,  and  my  heart  broken,  with  a  fenfc  of 
pail:  barrennefs  and  deadncfs  :  And  O,  how  I  then 
longed  to  live  to  God,  and  bring  forth  much  fruit 
to  his  glory  ! 

Monday,  fuly  29. — Was  much  exercifcd  with  a 
fenfeof  vilenefs,  \\\i\\  guilt  and  Ihame  betore  God. 

[On  Wednefday,  July  31,  he  fetout  on  his  return 
to  Crofvveekfung,  and  arrived  there  the  next  day. 
In  his  way  thither, he  had  longing  delires  that  he  might 
come  to  the  Indians  there,  i?i  the  fuhiefs  of  the  bleff- 
ing  of  the  gofpel  of  Chriji  \  attended  with  aienfe  of  his 
own  great  weakncfs,  dependence  and  worthleffnefs.] 

Friday,  Augiifl  2. — In  the  evening  I  retired,  and 
my  foul  was  drawn  out  in  prayer  to  God  ;  ef  peciaU 
ly  for  my  poor  people,  to  whom  I  had  fent  word 
that  they  might  gather  together,  that  I  might  preach 
to  them  the  next  day.  I  was  much  enlarged  in  pray- 
ing for  their  faving  converfion  ;  and  fcarce  ever 
found  my  defires  of  any  thing  of  this  nature  fo  fen- 
fibly  and  clearly  (to  my  own  fluisfadiion)  difinter- 
efted,  and  free  from  felfifli  views.  It  feemed  to  me, 
I  had  no  care,  or  hardly  any  defire  to  be  the  inftru- 
ment  of  fo  glorious  a  work,  as  I  wilhed  and  prayed 
for  among  the  Indians  :  If  the  blelfed  work  might 
be  accomplifhed  to  the  honour  of  God,  and  the  en- 
largement of  the  dear  Redeemer's  kingdom,  this  was 
all  ray  defire  and  care  ;  and  for  this  mercy  i  hoped, 
but  with  trembling  ;  for  I  felt  what  Job  cxprefles, 
chapter  ix.  16.  My  rifing  hopes,  rcfpefiting  the 
converfion  of  the  Indians,  have  been  {o  often  dafli- 
ed,  that  my  fpirit  is  as  it  were  broken,  and  courage 
wafted,  and  I  hardly  dare  hope. 

[Concerning 


Mr.    DAVID    B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      193 

[Concerning  his  labours  and  marvellous  fuccefs 
amongft  the  Indians,  for  the  following  (ixteen  days, 
let  the  reader  fee  his  Journal.  The  things  worthy 
of  note  in  his  Diary,  not  there  publifhed,  are  his  earn- 
eft  and  importunate  prayers  for  the  Indians,  and  the 
travail  of  his  foul  for  them  from  day  to  day  ;  and  his 
great  refrefhment  and  joy  in  beholding  the  wonder- 
ful mercy  of  God,  and  the  glorious  manifeftations  of 
his  power  and  grace  in  his  work  among  them  ; 
and  his  ardent  thankfgivings  to  God  ;  his  heart's  re- 
joicing in  Chrift,  as  king  of  his  church,  and  king  of 
his  foul,  in  particular  at  the  facrament  of  the  Lord^s 
fupper,  at  Mr.  M'Night*s  meeting  houfe  ;  a  fenfe 
of  his  own  exceeding  unworthinefs  ;  which  fome- 
times  was  attended  with  dejecftion  and  melancholy.] 

Monday,  Augufl  19. — Near  noon  I  rode  to  Free- 
hold and  preached  to  a  confiderable  affembly,  from 
Matth.  V.  3.  It  pleafed  God  to  leave  me  to  be  very 
dry  and  barren  ;  fo  that  I  do  not  remember  to  have 
been  fo  flraitened  for  a  whole  twelve  month  paft. 
God  is  juft,  and  he  has  made  my  foul  acquiefce  in 
his  will  in  this  regard.  It  is  contrary  to  flefi  and 
blood  to  be  cut  off  from  all  freedom,  in  a  large  audi- 
tory, where  their  expectations  are  much  raifed  ;  but 
fo  it  was  with  me  :  And  God  helped  me  to  fay 
Amen  to  it  ;  Good  is  the  will  of  the  Lord,  In  the 
evening  I  felt  quiet  and  compofed,  and  had  freedom 
and  comfort  in  fecret  prayer. 

Tuefday,  Augufl  20. — Was  compofed  and  com- 
fortable, flill  in  a  refigned  frame.  Travelled 
from  Mr.  Tennent's  in-  Freehold,  to  Elizabeth- 
Town.  Was  refrelhed  to  fee  friends,  and  relate  fo 
them  what  God  had  done,  and  was  flill  doing 
among  my  poor  people. 

Wednefday,  Augufl  21.— Spent  the  forenoon  in 
converfation  with  Mr.  Dickinfon,  contriving  fomc- 
thing  for  the  fettlement  of  the  Indians  together  in  2. 

N  body, 


194  The    LIFE    of 

body,  that  they  might  be  under  better  advantages  for 
inftrudlion.  In  the  afternoon,  fpent  time  agreea- 
bly with  other  friends ;  wrote  to  my  brother  at  col- 
lege :  But  was  grieved  that  time  flid  away,  while  I 
did  fo  little  for  God. 

Friday,  Auguji i^. — In  the  morning  was  very  weak; 
but  favoured  with  fome  freedom  and  fweetnefs  in 
prayer  :  Was  compofed  and  comfortable  in  mind. 
After  noon  rode  to  Crofweekfung  to  my  poor  people. 

Saturday,  Auguji  24. — Had  compofure  and  peace, 
while  riding  from  the  Indians  to  my  lodgings :  Was 
enabled  to  pour  out  my  foul  to  God  for  dear  friends 
in  New-England.  Felt  a  fweet  tender  frame  of 
fpirit :  My  foul  was  compofed  and  refrefhed  in  God. 
Had  likewife  freedom  and  earneftnefs  in  praying 
for  my  dear  people  :  BlefTed  be  God.  O  the  peace 
of  God  that  pajj'eth  ailunderjianding.  It  is  impolfible 
to  defcribe  the  fweet  peace  of  confcience,  and  ten- 
dernefs  of  foul,  I  then  enjoyed.  O  the  blelTed  fore- 
taftes  of  heaven  ! 

Lord's  Day,  AuguJI  25. — I  rode  to  my  lodgings  in 
the  evening,  bleffing  the  Lord  for  his  gracious  vifit- 
ation  of  the  Indians,  and  the  foul  refrelhing  things  I 
had  feen  the  day  pad  amongfl  them,  and  praying 
that  God  would  flill  carry  on  his  divine  work  among 
them. 

Monday,  AuguJI  26. — I  went  from  the  Indians  to 
my  lodgings,  rejoicing  for  the  goodnefs  of  God  to 
my  poor  people  ;  and  enjoyed  freedom  of  foul  in 
prayer,  and  other  duties,  in  the  evening.  Blefs  the 
Lord,  O  my  foul. 

[The  next  day  he  fetout  on  a  journey  towards  the 
Forks  of  Delaware,  defigning  to  go  from  thence  to 
Sufquehannah,  before  he  returned  to  Crofweekfung. 
It  was  five  days  from  his  departure  from  Crofweek- 
fung before  he  reached  the  Forks,  going  round  by 
the  way  of  Philadelphia,  and  v/aiting  on  the  govern- 

our 


M  R.  D  A  V  I  D  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      19^ 

our  of  Pennfylvania,  to  get  a  recommendation  from 
him  to  the  chiefs  of  the  Indians  ;  which  he  obtained. 
He  fpeaks  of  much  comfort  and  fpiritual  refrefh- 
ment  in  this  journey ;  and  alfo  a  fenfe  of  his  exceed- 
ing unworthinefs»  thinking  himfelf  the  meanefl 
creature  that  ever  Hved.] 

Lord's  Day,  September  i . — "[At  the  Forks  of  Dela- 
ware.] God  gave  me  the  fpirit  of  prayer,  and  it  was 
a  bleffed  feafon  in  that  refped:.  My  foul  cried  to 
God  for  mercy,  in  an  affectionate  manner.  In  the 
evening  alfo  my  foul  rejoiced  in  God. 

[His  private  Diary  has  nothing  remarkable,  for 
the  two  next  days,  but  what  is  in  his  Journal.] 

Wednefday ,  September  4. — Rode  fifteen  miles  to  an 
Irifh  fettlement,  and  preached  there  from  Luke  xiv. 
22.  And  yet  there  is  roo?n.  God  was  pleafed  to  afford 
me  fome  tcndernefs  and  enlargement  in  the  firfl 
prayer,  and  much  freedom,  as  well  as  warmth,  in 
fermon.  There  were  many  tears  in  the  alTembly  : 
The  people  of  God  feemed  to  melt,  and  others  to  be 
in  fome  meafure  awakened.  BlefTedbe  the  Lord,  that 
lets  me  fee  his  work  going  on  in  one  place  and  another. 

Lord's  Day,  September  8. — In  the  evening  God 
was  pleafed  to  enlarge  me  in  prayer,  and  give  me 
freedom  at  the  throne  of  grace  :  1  cried  to  God  for 
the  enlargement  of  his  kingdom  in  the  world,  and  in' 
particular  among  my  dear  people  ;  was  alfo  enabled 
to  pray  for  many  dear  n^iniftersof  my  acquaintance, 
both  in  thefe  parts,  and  in  New-England  ;  and  alfo 
for  other  dear  friends  in  New-England.  And  my 
foul  was  fo  engaged  and  enlarged  in  that  fweet  cx- 
ercife,  that  I  fpent  near  an  hour  in  it,  and  knew 
not  how  to  leave  the  mercy  feat.  O,  how  I  delight- 
ed to  pray  and  cry  to  God  1  I  faw  God  was  both 
able  and  willing  to  do  all  that  I  delired/for  myfelf 
and  friends,  and  his  church  in  general.  I  was  like- 
wife  much  enlarged  and  afTifled  in  family  prayer. 

N  3  And 


196  The    life    of 

And  afterwards,  when  I  was  juft  going  to  bed,  God 
helped  me  to  renew  my  petitions  with  ardency  and 
freedom.  O,  it  was  to  me  a  bleffed  evening  of 
prayer.     Blcfs  the  Lord,  O  my  foul. 

[The  next  day  he  fet  out  from  the  Forks  of  Dela- 
ware to  go  to  Sufquehannah.  And  on  the  fifth  day 
of  his  journey,  he  arrived  at  Shaumoking,  a  large 
Indian  town  on  Sufquehannah  river.  He  perform- 
ed the  journey  under  aconfiderable  degree  of  melan- 
choly, occafioned  at  firft  by  his  hearing  that  the 
Moravians  were  gone  before  him  to  the  Sufquehan- 
nah Indians.] 

Saturday^  September  14. — [At  Shaumoking.]  In 
the  evening  my  foul  was  enlarged  and  fweetly  en- 
gaged in  prayer  ;  efpecially  that  God  would  fet  up 
his  kingdom  in  this  place,  where  the  devil  now 
reigns  in  the  mod  eminent  manner.  And  I  was  en- 
abled to  afk  this  for  God,  for  his  glory,  and  becaufe 
I  longed  for  the  enlargement  of  his  kingdotn,  to  the 
honour  of  his  dear  name.  I  could  appeal  to  God 
with  the  greateft  freedom,  that  he  knew  it  was  his 
dear  caufe,  and  not  my  own,  that  engaged  my  heart : 
And  my  foul  cried,  Lord,  fet  up  thy  kingdom,  for 
thine  own  glory.  Glorify  thyfelf;  and  1  fhall  rejoice. 
Get  honour  to  thy  bleffed  name  ;  and  this  is  all  I 
defire.  Do  with  me  jud:  what  thou  wilt.  BlefTed  be 
thy  name  forever,  that  thou  art  God,  and  that  thou 
wilt  glorify  thyfelf.  O  that  the  whole  world  might 
glorify  thee.  O  let  thefe  poor  people  be  brought 
to  know  thee,  and  love  thee,  for  the  glory  of  thy 
dear  ever  bleffed  name.  I  could  not  but  hope  that 
God  would  bring  in  thefe  miferable  wicked  Indians  ; 
though  there  appeared  little  human  probability 
of  it,  ior  they  were  then  dancing  and  revelling,  as  if 
poffeffed  by  the  devil.  But  yet  I  hoped,  though 
againft  hope,  that  God  would  be  glorified,  and  that 
God*s  name  would  be  glorified  by  thefe  poor  Indi- 
ans. 


Mr.   DAVID    B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.       197 

ans.  I  continued  long  in  prayer  and  praife  to  God  ; 
and  had  great  freedom,  enlargement  and  fweetnefs, 
remembering  dear  friends  in  New-England,  as  well 
as  the  people  of  my  charge.  Was  entirely  free  from 
that  dejedlion  of  fpirit,  with  which  1  am  frequently 
exercifed  :  BlefTed  be  God. 

[His  Diary,  from  this  time  through  feveral  days,  is 
not  legible,  by  reafon  of  the  badnels  of  the  ink.] 

JVednefdayj  September  25. — Rode  ftill  homeward. 
In  the  forenoon  enjoyed  freedom  and  intenfenefs  of 
mind  in  meditation  on  Job  xlii.  5.  6.  I  have  heard  of 
thee  by  the  hearing  of  the  ear ;  but  now  mine  eye  fee th 
thee  :  Wherefore  I  abhor  my f elf  and  repent  in  diifi  and 
afhes.  The  Lord  gave  me  clearnefs  to  penetrate  in- 
to the  fweet  truths  contained  in  that  text.  It  was  a 
comfortable  and  fweet  feafon  to  me. 

Friday,  September  27. — Spent  confiderable  time, 
in  the  morning,  in  prayer  and  praife  to  God.  My 
mind  was  fomewhat  intenfe  in  the  duty,  and  my 
heart  in  fome  degree  warmed  with  a  fenfe  of  divine 
things.  My  foul  was  melted,  to  think,  that  God  had 
accounted  me  faithful ,  putting  me  into  the  minifiryy 
notwithftanding  all  my  barrennefs  and  deadnefs. 
My  foul  was  alfo  in  fome  meafure  enlarged  in  prayer 
for  the  dear  people  of  my  charge,  as  well  as  for  other 
dear  friends.  In  the  afternoon  vifited  fome  chri{- 
tian  friends,  and  fpent  the  time,  I  think,  profitably  : 
My  heart  was  warmed,  and  more  engaged  in  the 
things  of  God.  In  the  evening  I  enjoyed  enlarge- 
ment, warmth,  and  comfort  in  prayer  :  My  foul 
relied  on  God  for  afTidance  and  grace  to  enable  mc 
Ko  do  fomething  in  his  caufe  :  My  heart  was 
drawn  out  in  thankfulnefs  to  God  for  what  he  had 
done  for  his  own  glory  among  my  poor  people  ot 
late  :  And  I  felt  encouraged  to  proceed  m  his  work, 
being  perfuaded  of  liis  power,  and  hoping  his  arm 
might  be  further  rtnrj/t'j',  for  the  enlargement  of  his 

N  3  dear 


198  TheLIFEof 

dear  kingdom  :  And  my  foul  rejoiced  in  hope  of  t}j€ 
glory  ofGody  in  hope  of  the  advancement  of  his  de- 
clarative glory  in  the  world,  as  well  as  of  enjoying  him 
in  a  world  of  glory.  O,  blefled  be  God,  the  living 
God,  forever  ! 

[He  continued  in  this  comfortable  fweet  frame  of 
mind  the  two  next  days.  On  the  day  following  he 
■went  to  his  own  houfe,  in  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  and 
continued  ftill  in  the  fame  frame.  The  next  day, 
which  was  Tuefday,  he  vifited  his  Indians.  Wed- 
nefday  he  fpent  moftly  in  writing  the  meditations 
he  had  had  in  his  late  journey  to  Sufquehannah.  On 
Thurfday  he  left  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  and  travelled 
towards  Crofweekfung,  where  he  arrived  on  Saturday 
(October  5)  and  continued  from  day  to  day  in  a  com- 
fortable flate  of  mind.  There  is  nothing  material 
in  his  Diary  for  this  day  and  the  next,  but  what  is 
in  his  Journal.] 

Monday,  05lober  7. — Being  called  by  the  church 
and  people  of  Eaft- Hampton,  on  Long-Ifland,  as  a 
member  of  a  council,  to  affifl  and  advife  in  affairs 
of  difficulty  in  that  church,  I  fet  out  on  my  journey 
this  morning,  before  it  was  well  light,  and  travelled 
to  Elizabeth-Town,  and  there  lodged.  Enjoyed 
fome  comfort  on  the  road,  inconverfation  with  Mr. 
William  Tennent,  who  was  fent  for  on  the  fame 
bufinefs. 

[He  profecuted  his  journey  with  the  other  minif- 
ters  that  were  fent  for;  and  did  not  return  until  Oc- 
tober 24.  While  he  was  at  Eaft- Hampton,  the  im- 
portance of  the  bufinefs  that  the  council  v/ere  comp 
upon,  lay  with  fuch  weight  on  his  mind,  and  he  was 
fo  concerned  for  the  intereft  of  religion  in  that  place, 
that  he  flept  but  little  for  feveral  nights  fucceflively. 
In  his  way  to  and  from  Eafl-Hampton,  he  had  fev- 
eral feafons  of  fweet  refrefliment,  wherein  his  foul 
was  enlarged  and  comforted  with  divine  confolations^ 

in 


Mr.    DAVID     BRAIN  ERD      199 

in  fecret  retirement ;  and  he  had  fpecial  afliftance 
in  publick  minifterial  performances  in  the  houfe  of 
God  ;  and  yet,  at  the  fame  time,  a  fenfc  of  extreme 
vilenefs  and  unprofitablenefs.] 

Monday^  Otiober  28. — Had  an  evening  of  fweet 
refreftiing  ;  my  thoughts  w^re  raifed  to  a  blefTed 
eternity  j  my  foul  was  mehed  with  deiires  of  per- 
fect holinefs,  and  perfecflly  glorifying  God. 

Tuefday,  OBober  29. — About  noon  rode  and  view- 
ed the  Indian  lands  at  Cranberry  :  Was  much  de- 
jed:ed,  and  greatly  perplexed  in  mind  :  Knew  not 
how  to  fee  any  body  again,  my  foul  was  fo  funk 
within  me.  O  that  thefe  trials  might  make  me 
more  humble  and  holy.  O  that  God  would  keep 
me  from  giving  way  to  finful  dejection,  which  may 
hinder  my  ufefulnefs. 

JVednefday,  O^lober  30. — My  foul  was  refrefhed 
with  a  view  of  the  continuance  of  God*s  blefTed 
work  among  the  Indians. 

Thurfday,  O^ober  p. — Spent  mofl  of  the  day  in 
writing  :  Enjoyed  not  much  fpiritual  comfort ;  but 
was  not  fo  much  funk  with  melancholy  as  at  fome 
other  times. 

[November  r,  2,  3,  and \. — Seethe  Journal.] 

[Tuefday,  November  5,  he  left  the  Indians,  and 
fpent  the  remaining  part  of  this  week  in  travelling 
to  various  parts  of  New-Jerfey,  in  order  to  get  a 
coll€(5tion  for  the  ufe  of  the  Indians,  and  to  obtain  a 
fchoolmafter  to  inftrudt  them.  And  in  the  mean 
time,  he  fpeaks  of  very  Aveet  refrediment  and  enter- 
tainment with  chriftian  friends,  and  of  his  being 
fvvectly  employed,  while  riding,  in  meditation  o\\ 
divine  fubjedis  ;  his  heart's  being  enlarged,  his 
mind  clear,  his  fpirit  refrelhed  with  divine  truths, 
and  his  hearths  burning  within  him,  while  he  wer;t 
by  the  way,  and  the  Lord  opened  to.  him  the  fcrip,- 
tures.] 

N4  Lord*s 


aoo  The    LIFE    of 

Lord* s  Day  ^  NovemberiO.—[^\.  Elizabeth-Town.] 
Was  comfortable  in  the  morning,  both  in  body  and 
mind  ;  preached  in  the  forenoon  from  2  Cor.  v.  20. 
God  was  pleafed  to  give  me  freedom  and  fervency 
in  my  difcourfe  ;  and  the  prefence  of  God  feemed  to 
be  in  the  afTembly  :  Numbers  were  affected,  and 
there  were  many  tears  among  them.  In  the  after- 
noon, preached  from  Luke  xiv.  22.  And  yet  there  is 
room.  Was  favoured  with  divine  alTiftance  in  the 
firft  prayer,  and  poured  out  my  foul  to  God  with  a 
filial  temper  of  mind  ;  the  living  God  alfo  affiftcd 
me  in  fermon. 

[The  next  day,  he  went  to  New-Town,  on  Long- 
Ifland,  to  a  meeting  of  the  Prefbytery.  He  fpeaks 
of  fome  fweet  meditations  he  had  while  there,  on 
Chriji^s  delivering  up  the  kingdom  to  the  Father^  and 
of  his  foul's  being  much  refrefhed  and  warmed  with 
the  confideration  of  that  bljfsful  day.] 

Friday,  'November  15. — Could  not  crofs  the  ferry 
by  reafon  of  the  violence  of  the  wind  ;  nor  could  I 
enjoy  any  place  of  retirement  at  the  ferry  houfe :  So 
that  I  was  in  perplexity.  Yet  God  gave  me  fomc 
fatisfadion  and  fweetnefs  in  meditation,  and  lifting 
up  my  heart  to  God  in  the  midft  of  company.  And 
although  fome  were  drinking  and  talking  profanely, 
which  was  indeed  a  grief  to  me,  yet  my  mind  was 
calm  and  compofed.  And  I  could  not  but  blefs 
God,  that  I  was  not  like  to  fpend  an  eternity  in  fuch 
company.  In  the  evening,  I  fat  down  and  wrote 
with  compofure  and  freedom;  and  can  fay  through 
pure  grace  it  was  a  comfortable  evening  to  my  foul, 
an  evening  I  was  enabled  to  fpend  in  the  fcrvice  of 
God.  . 

Saturday,  November  16. — Crofled  the  ferry  about 
ten  o'clock  ;  arrived  at  Elizabeth-Town  near  night. 
Was  in  a  calm  compofed  frame  of  mind,  and  felt  an 
entire  refignation  with  refped  to  a  lofs  I  had  Jate- 


Mr.   DAVID   BR  A  I  NERD.         20i 

iy  fuftained,  in  having  my  horfe  ftolen  from  me  the 
laft  Wednefday  night,  at  New-Town.  Had  fome 
longings  of  foul  for  the  dear  people  of  Elizabeth- 
Town,  that  God  would  pour  out  his  fpirit  upon 
them,  and  revive  his  work  amongfl:  them. 

[He  fpent  the  four  next  ^ays  at  Elizabeth-Town; 
for  the  moil:  part,  in  a  freehand  comfortable  ftate  of 
mind,  intenfely  engaged  in  the  fervice  of  God,  and 
enjoying  at  fome  times,  the  fpecial  affiftances  of  his 
Spirit.  On  Thurfday,  this  week,  he  rode  to  Free- 
hold, and  fpent  the  day  under  confiderable  dejec- 
tion.] 

Friday^  November  11. — Rode  to  Mr.  Tennent's, 
and  from  thence  to  Crofweekfung.  Had  little  free- 
dom in  meditation,  while  riding  ;  which  was  a  grief 
and  burden  to  my  foul.  O  that  I  could  fill  up  all 
my  time,  whether  in  the  houfe  or  by  the  way,  for 
God  !  I  was  enabled,  I  think,  this  day,  to  give  up  my 
foul  to  God,  and  put  over  all  my  concerns  into  his 
hands  ;  and  found  fome  real  confolation  in  the 
thought  of  being  entirely  at  the  divine  difpofal,  and 
having  no  will  or  intereft  of  my  own. 

[There  is  nothing  very  material  in  his  Diary  for 
the  five  next  days,  but  what  is  alfo  in  his  Journal.] 

Thurfday,  November  28. — I  enjoyed  fome  divine 
comfort,  and  fervency  in  the  publick  exercife,  and 
afterwards.  And  while  riding  to  my  lodgings,  was 
favoured  with  fome  fweet  meditations  on  Luke  ix. 
31.  Who  appeared  in  glory,  and  fpake  of  his  deceafe, 
which  he  jhould  accomplifh  at  Jerufilem.  My 
thoughts  ran  with  freedom,  and  I  faw  and  felt  what 
a  glorious  fubjed  the  death  of  Chrift  is  for  glorified 
fouls  to  dwell  upon  in  their  converfation.  O,  the 
death  of  Chrift  !  How  infinitely  precious. 

[For  the  three  next  days,  Tee  the  Journal.] 

Monday,  December  2.— Was  much  affeded  with 
grief,  that  1  had  not  lived   more  to  God  ;  and  felt 

ftrong 


ao2  The    LIFE    of 

ftrong  refolutions  to  double  my  diligence  in  my  Maf- 
ter's  fervice. 

[After  this,  he  went  to  a  meeting  of  the  Prefbyte- 
ry,  at  a  place  in  New-Jerfey,  called  Connedicut- 
Farms  ;  which  occafioned  his  abfence  from  his  peo- 
ple the  reft  of  this  week.  Hefpeaks  of  fome  feafons 
of  fweetnefs,  folemnity,  and  fpiritual  affecflion,  in  his 
abfence.] 

[For  the  moft  of  the  following  week  he  was  em- 
ployed in  providing  tolive  in  a  houfeby  himfelf.] 

Saturday y  Dece?nher  14. — Rofe  early,  and  wrote  by 
candle  light  fome  confiderable  time  ;  fpent  moft  of 
the  day  in  writing  :  But  was  fomewhat  dejedted. 
In  the  evening,  was  exercifed  with  a  pain  in  my 
head. 

[For  the  three  next  days,  fee  his  Journal.  The 
remainder  of  this  week  he  fpent  chiefly  in  writing  : 
Some  part  of  the  time  under  a  degree  of  melancho- 
ly ;  but  fome  part  of  it  with  a  fweet  ardency  in  re- 
ligion.] 

Monday t  and  Tuefday^  'December  11,  and  1\. — Spent 
thefe  days  in  writing,  with  the  utmoft  diligence. 
Felt  in  the  main  a  fweet  mortification  to  the  world, 
and  a  defire  to  live  and  labour  only  for  God  ;  but 
wanted  more  warmth  and  fpirituality,  a  more  fenli- 
ble  and  affectionate  regard  to  the  glory  of  God. 

Thurfday,y  and  Friday  ^  December  26,  and  27. — La- 
boured in  my  ftudies,  to  the  utmoft  of  my  ftrength  ; 
And  though  I  felt  a  ftcady  difpofition  of  mind  to 
live  to  God,  and  that  I  had  nothing  in  this  world  to 
live  for  ;  yet  I  did  not  find  that  fenfible  affection  in 
the  fervice  of  God  that  I  wanted  to  have  ;  my  heart 
feemed  barren,  though  my  head  and  hands  were  full 
of  labour. 

[For  the  four  next  days,  fee  his  Journal.] 

Wednefday^  'January  i,  1745,6. — lam  this  day  be- 
ginning a  new  year ;  and  God  has  carried  me  through 

numerous 


Mr.   DAVID  BRAIN  ERD.      203 

numerous  trials  and  labours  in  the  paft.  He  has 
amazingly  fupported  my  feeble  frame  ;  for  having 
obtained  help  of  God ,  I  continue  to  this  day.  O  that  I 
might  live  nearer  to  God,  this  year,  than  I  did  the 
laft.  The  bufinefs  I  have  been  called  to,  and  ena- 
bled to  go  through,  I  know,  has  been  as  great  as  na- 
ture could  bear  up  under,  and  what  would  have  funk 
and  overcome  me  quite,  without  fpecial  fupport. 
But  alas,  alas  !  though  1  have  done  the  labours,  and 
endured  the  trials,  with  what  ipirit  have  I  done  the 
one,  and  borne  the  other  ?  How  cold  has  been  the 
frame  of  my  heart  oftentimes  !  And  how  little  have 
1  fenlibly  eyed  the  glory  of  God,  in  all  my  doings 
and  lufferings  !  I  have  tound,  that  1  could  have  no 
peace  without  filling  up  all  my  time  with  labours  ; 
and  thus  neceflity  has  been  laid  upon  me  j  yea,  in 
that  relped:,  I  have  loved  to  labour  :  But  the  mifery 
is,  1  could  not  lenfibly  labour  for  God,  as  I  would 
have  done.  May  1  for  the  future  be  enabled  more 
fenlibly  to  make  the  glory  of  God  myall. 

[For  the  fpace  from  this  time  until  the  next  Mon- 
day, fee  the  Journal,] 

Monday  J  'January  t>. — Being  very  weak  in  body,  I 
rode  for  my  health.  While  riding,  my  thoughts 
were  fweetly  engaged,  for  a  tim»e,  upon  thejione  cut 
out  of  the  mountain  without  hands  ^  which  brake  in  pieces 
all  before  it,  and  waxed  greats  and  became  a  great 
mountain,  and  filled  the  wbole  earth  :  iVnd  I  longed 
tliat  Jcfus  ihould  take  to  himfelf  his  great  power,  and 
rcipi  to  the  cJtds  of  the  earth.  And  O,  how  fweet 
Vvcre  the  moments,  wherein  I  felt  my  Ibul  warm 
with  hopes  of  the  enlargement  of  the  Redeemer's 
kingdom  !  I  wanted  nothing  elfe  but  that  Chrift 
ihould  reign,  to  the  glory  of  his  blefled  name. 

[The  next  day  he  complains  of  want  of  fervency.] 

Wednefday,  January  8.— In  the  evening,  my  heart 
wqs  drawn  out  after  God  in  fccret :  My  foul  was  re- 

freihed 


204  The    LIFE    of 

frefhed  and  quickened  ;  and  I  truft,  faith  was  in  ex- 
ercife.  I  had  great  hopesof  the  ingathering  of  pre- 
cious fouls  to  Chrifl  ;  not  only  among  my  own  peo- 
ple, but  others  alfb.  I  was  fweetly  resigned  and 
compofed  under  my  bodily  weaknefs  ;  and  was  wil- 
ling to  live  or  die,  and  defirous  to  labour  for  God  to 
the  utmoft  of  my  ftrength. 

Friday,  January  lO. — My  foul  was  in  a  fweet, 
calm,  compofed  frame,  and  my  heart  filled  vyith  love 
to  all  the  world ;  and  chriftian  fimplicity  and  tender- 
nefs  feemed  then  to  prevail  and  reign  within  me. 
Near  night,  vifiteda  feriousbaptift  minifter,  and  had 
fome  agreeable  converfation  with  him  j  and  found 
that  I  could  tafte  God  in  friends. 

[For  the  feven  next  days  nothing  very  remarkable 
appears  but  what  is  to  be  found  in  the  Journal.] 

[The  next  day,  he  fet  out  on  a  journey  to  Eliza- 
beth-Town, to  confer  with  the  correfpondents  at 
their  meeting  there  ;  and  enjoyed  much  fpiritual  re- 
freftiment  from  day  to  day,  through  this  week.  The 
things  exprefTed  in  this  fpace  of  time,  are  fuch  as 
thefe;  ferenity,  compofure,  fweetnefs,  and  tender- 
nefs  of  foul,  thankfgiving  to  God  for  his  fuccefs 
among  the  Indians,  delight  in  prayer  and  praife, 
fweet  and  profitable  meditations  on  various  divine 
fubjecfts,  longing  for  more  love,  for  more  vigour  to 
live  to  God,  for  a  life  more  entirely  devoted  to  God, 
that  he  might  fpend  all  his  time  profitably  for  God, 
and  in  his  caufe  ;  converfing  on  fpiritual  fubjedts 
with afPedtion ;  and  lamentation  for  unprofitablenefs . ] 

Lord*s  Day,  'January  l6. — [At  ConnecSticut- 
Farms.]  Was  calm  and  compofed.  Was  made  fen- 
fible  of  my  utter  inability  to  preach,  without  divine 
help  ;  and  was  in  fome  good  meafure  willing  to 
leave  it  with  God,  to  give  or  withhold  afTiiiance,  as 
be  faw  would  be  mofi:  for  his  own  glory.  Was  fa- 
voured with  a  confiderable  degree  of  affiflance  in  my 

pubiick 


Mr.    DAVID   B  R  A I  N  E  R  D.        205 

publick  work.  After  publick  worfhip,  I  was  in  a 
fweet  and  folemn  frame  of  mind,  thankful  to  God 
that  he  had  made  me  in  fome  meafure  faithful  in  ad- 
drelTing  precious  fouls,  but  grieved  that  I  had 
been  no  more  fervent  in  my  work  j  and  was  tender- 
ly affedled  towards  all  the  world,  longing  that  every 
(inner  might  be  faved  ;  and  could  not  have  entertain- 
ed any  bitternefs  towards  the  worft  enemy  living. 
In  the  evening,  rode  to  Elizabeth-Town  :  While 
riding,  was  almofl:  conllantly  engaged  in  lifting  up 
my  heart  to  God,  left  I  fliould  lofe  that  fweet  heav- 
enly folemnity  and  compofure  of  foul  I  then  enjoy- 
ed. Afterwards,  was  pleafed,  to  think  that  God 
reigneth  ;  and  thought  I  could  never  be  uneafy  with 
any  of  his  difpenfations  ;  but  muft  be  entirely  fatis- 
fied ,  whatever  trials  he  fhould  caufe  me  or  his  church 
to  encounter.  Never  felt  more  fedatenefs,  divine 
ferenity  and  compofure  of  mind  :  Could  freely  have 
left  the  deareft  earthly  friend,  for  the  fociety  of  a^i^ 
gels  and  fpirits  of  jujl  men  made  perfeB.  My  affec- 
tions foared  aloft  to  the  bleifed  Author  of  every  dear 
enjoyment  :  I  viewed  the  emptinefs  and  unfat- 
isfadtory  nature  of  the  moft  defirable  earthly  objects, 
any  further  than  God  is  feen  in  them  :  And  longed 
for  a  life  of  fpirituality  and  inward  purity  ;  without 
which,  I  faw  there  could  be  no  true  pleafure. 

[He  retained  a  great  degree  of  this  excellent  frame 
of  mind,  the  four  next  days.] 

Saturday^  February  i. — Towards  night,  enjoyed 
fome  of  the  cleared:  thoughts  on  a  divine  fubjed:, 
viz.  that  treated  of  I  Cor.  xv.  13. — 16.  that  ever  I 
remember  to  have  had  upon  any  fubjedt  whatfoever  ; 
and  fpent  two  or  three  hours  in  writing  them.  I 
was  rcfrefhed  with  this  intenfencfs  :  My  mind  was 
fo  engaged  in  thefe  meditations,  Icould  fcarcely  turn 
it  to  any  thing  elfe  ;  and  indeed  I  could  not  be  wil- 
ling to  part  with  fo  fweet  an  entertainment. 

ora  s 


ao6  The    LIFE    of 

Lord's  Day,  February  2.— After  publick  worfliip, 
my  bodily  ftrength  being  much  fpent,  my  fpirits 
funk  amazingly  ;  and  efpccially  on  'hearing  that  I 
was  fo  generally  taken  to  be  a  Roman  Catholick, 
fent  by  the  Papifts  to  draw  the  Indians  into  an  in- 
furrediion  againft  the  Englifh,  that  Tome  were  in 
fear  of  me,  and  others  were  for  having  me  taken  up 
by  authority  and  punifhed.  Alas,  what  will  not  the 
devil  do  to  bring  a  flur  and  difgrace  on  the  work  of 
God  !  O,  how  holy  and  circumfped:  had  I  need 
to  be  ! 

Monday,  February  3. — My  fpirits  were  ftill  much 
funk  with  what  I  heard  the  day  before,  of  my  being 
fufpe(fted  to  be  engaged  in  the  pretender's  intereft  : 
It  grieved  me,  that  after  there  had  been  fo  much  ev- 
idence of  a  glorious  work  of  grace  among  thefe  poor 
Indians,  as  that  the  moll:  carnal  men  could  not  but 
take  notice  of  the  great  change  made  among  them, 
fo  many  poor  fouls  fliould  ftill  fufped;  the  whole  to 
be  only  a  popifli  plot,  and  fo  caft  an  awful  reproach 
on  this  bleffed  work  of  the  divine  Spirit ;  and  at  the 
fame  time  wholly  exclude  themfelves  from  receiving 
any  benefit  by  this  divine  influence.  This  put  me 
upon  fearching  whether  I  had  ever  dropped  any 
thing  inadvertently,  that  might  give  occafion  to  any 
to  fufpe6t  that  I  was  flirring  up  the  Indians  againft 
the  Englifh  :  And  could  think  of  nothing,  unlefs  it 
was  my  attempting  fometimes  to  vindicate  th^  rights 
of  the  Indians,  and  complaining  of  the  horrid  prac- 
tice of  making  the  Indians  drunk,  and  then  cheat- 
ing them  out  of  their  lands  and  other  properties  : 
And  once  I  remembefed  I  had  done  this  with  too 
much  warmth  of  fpirit.  And  this  much  diftrefTed 
me  ;  thinking  that  this  might  poffibly  prejudice 
them  againft  this  work  of  grace,  to  their  evcrlafting 
deftrudion.  God,  I  believe,  did  me  good  by  this 
trial ;  which  ferved  to  humble  me,  and  fhew  me  the 

necellity 


Mr.    DAVID   BR  A  I  NERD.      207 

neceffity  of  watchfulnefs,  and  of  being  wife  as  afer- 
pent,  as  well  as  hannlefs  as  a  dove.  This  exercifeled 
me  often  to  the  throne  of  grace  ;  and  there  I  found 
feme  fupport :  Though  I  could  not  get  the  burden 
wholly  removed.  Was  affifled  in  prayer,  efpecial- 
]y  in  the  evening. 

[He  remained  flill  under  a  degree  of  exercife  of 
mind  about  this  affair  ;  which  continued  to  have 
the  fameeffed:  upon  him,  to  caufe  him  to  refled:  up- 
on, and  humble  himfelf,  and  frequent  the  throne  of 
grace  :  But  foon  found  himfelf  much  more  relieved 
and  fup ported.  He  was,  this  week,  in  an  extremely 
weak  ftate,  and  obliged  (as  he  expreiTes  it)  to  con- 
fume  confiderable  time  in  diverfions  for  his  health. 

The  Monday  after,  he  fet  out  on  a  journey  to 
the  Forks  of  Delaware,  to  vifit  the  Indians  there. 
The  things  appertaining  to  his  inward  frames  and 
exercifcs,  expreflcd  within  this  week,  are  fwect  com- 
pofure  of  mind,  thankfulnefs  to  God  for  his  mercies 
to  him  and  others,  refignation  to  the  divine  will, 
comfort  in  prayer  and  religious  converfation,  his 
heart  drawn  out  after  God,  and  affedted  with  a  fenfe 
of  his  own  barrennefs,  as  well  as  the  fulnefs  and 
freenefs  of  divine  grace.] 

hordes  Day^  February  16. — In  the  evening,  was 
in  a  fweet  compofed  frame  of  mind.  It  was  exceed- 
ing refrefliing  and  comfortable,  to  think  that  God 
had  been  with  me,  affording  me  fome  good  meafure 
of  alliftance.  I  then  found  freedom  and  fweetnefs 
in  prayer  and  thankfgiving  to  God  ;  and  found  my 
foul  fweetly  engaged  and  enlarged  in  prayer  for  dear 
friends  and  acquaintance.  BlefTed  be  the  name  of 
the  Lord,  that  ever  I  am  enabled  to  do  any  thing  for 
his  dear  intereft  and  kingdom.  Bleffed  be  God,  who 
enables  me  to  be  faithful.  Enjoyed  more  refoiution 
and  courage  for  God,  and  more  refrefhmcnt  of  fpir- 
ir,  than  I  have  been  favouied  svith  for  many  weeks  paft. 

Monday^ 


2o8  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  1 

Monday,  February  17. — I  was  refrefhed  and  en- 
couraged :  Found  a  fpirit  of  prayer,  in  the  evening, 
and  earned  longings  for  the  illumination  and  conver- 
fion  of  thefe  poor  Indians. 

Thurfday,  February  20. — God  was  pleafed  to  fup- 
port  and  refrefh  my  fpirits,  by  affording  me  aflifl- 
ance,  this  day,  and  fo  hopeful  a  profpedtof  fuccefs  ; 
and  I  returned  home  rejoicing,  and  bleffing  the  name 
of  the  Lord  j  and  found  freedom  and  fweetnefs  af- 
terwards in  fecret  prayer,  and  had  my  foul  drawn 
out  for  dear  friends.  O,  how  bleffed  a  thing  is  it, 
to  labour  for  God  faithfully,  and  with  encourage- 
ment of  fuccefs  !  BlefTed  be  the  Lord  forever  and  ev^ 
cr,  for  the  afliftance  and  comfort  granted  this  day. 

Friday,  February  21 . — My  foul  was  refrefhed  and 
comforted,  and  I  could  not  but  blefs  God,  who  had 
enabled  me  in  fome  good  meafure  to  be  faithful  in 
the  day  paft,  O  how  fweet  it  is  to  be  fpent  and  worn 
out  for  God  ! 

Saturday,  February  22. — My  fpirits  were  much 
fupported,  though  my  bodily  flrength  was  much 
warted.  O  that  God  would  be  gracious  to  the  fouls 
of  thefe  poor  Indians. 

God  has  been  very  gracious  to  m.e  this  week  :  He 
has  enabled  me  to  preach  every  day  ;  and  has  given 
me  fome  afliftance,  and  encouraging  profpedts  of 
fuccefs,  in  almoft  every  fermon.  Blefled  be  his 
name.  Divers  of  the  white  people  have  been  awak- 
ened this  week,  and  fundry  of  the  Indians  much 
cured  of  the  prejudices  and  jealoufies  they  had 
conceived  againft  chriftianity,  and  fome  feem  io  be 
really  awakened. 

[The  next  day  he  left  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  io 
return  to  Crofweekfung  ;  and  fpent  the  whole  week 
until  Saturday,  before  he  arrived  there  ;  but  preach- 
ed by  the  way  every  day,  excepting  one  ;  and  was 
feveral  times  greatly  aflifted  j  and  had  much  inward 

comfort, 


Mr.   D  A  VI  D   BR  AINERD.      209 

comfort,  and  earneft  longings  to  fill  up  all  his  time 
with  the  fervice  of  God.  He  utters  fuch  expreflions 
as  thefe,  after  preaching  :  O  that  I  may  be  enabled 
ro  plead  the  caufe  of  God  faithfully,  to  my  dying 
moment.  O  how  fweet  it  would  be  to  fpend  my- 
felf  wholly  for  God,  and  in  his  caufe,  and  to  be  freed 
from  felfilh  motives  in  my  labours  !] 

[For  Saturday  and  Lord's  Day,  March  i,  and  2, 
fee  the  Journal.  The  four  next  days  were  fpent  in 
great  bodily  weaknefs  ,•  but  he  fpeaks  of  fome  fea- 
fons  of  confiderable  inward  comfort.] 

Thurfday,  March  6. — I  walked  alone  in  the  even- 
ing, and  enjoyed  fweetnefs  and  comfort  in  prayer, 
beyond  what  I  have  of  late  enjoyed  :  My  foul  re- 
joiced in  my  pilgrimage  ftatc,  and  I  was  delighted 
with  the  thoughts  of  labouring  and  enduring  hard- 
nefs  for  God  :  Felt  fom.e  longing  defires  to  preach 
the  gofpel  to  dear  immortal  fouls  ;  and  confided  in 
God,  that  he  w^or.ld  be  with  me  in  my  work,  and 
that  he  never  would  le wee  nor  forfake  jne,  to  the  end 
of  my  race.  O,  may  I  obtain  m*ercy  of  God  to  be 
faithful,  to  my  dying  moment  ! 

[For  the  following  Lord's  Day,  fee  the  Journal.] 

Monday,  March  10. — My  foul  was  refrefhed  with 
freedom  and  enlargement,  and  I  hope  the  lively  exer- 
cife  of  faith,  in  fecret  prayer,  this  night  :  My  will 
was  fweetly  refigned  to  the  divine  will,  and  my 
hopes  refpc6ling  the  enlargement  of  the  dear  king- 
dom of  Chrift  fomewhat  raifed,  and  could  commit 
Zion's  caufe  to  God  as  his  own. 

[In  his  Diary  forfeveral  following  days  it  appears 
that  he  -was  ill  in  body,  and  dejedted  in  mind  under 
an  apprehenfion  that  his  ufefulnefs  was  about  to  ter- 
minate.] 

Monday,  March  24.-— After  the  Indians  were  gone 
to  their  work,  to  clear  their  lands,  I  got  alone,  and 
poured  out  my  foul  to  God,  that  he  would  fmile 

Q  upon 


2}D  The    life    o  v 

upon  thefe  feeble  beginnings,  and  that  he  would  fet- 
tle an  Indian  town,  that  might  be  a  mountain  of  ho- 
linefs  'y  and  found  my  loul  much  refreflied  in  thefc 
petitions,  and  much  enlarged  for  Zion's  intereft,  and 
for  numbers  of  dear  friends  in  particular.  My 
finking  fpirits  were  revived  and  raifed,  and  I  felt  an- 
imated in  the  fervice  God  has  called  me  to.  This 
was  the  deareft  hour  I  have  enjoyed  for  many  days, 
if  not  weeks.  I  found  an  encouraging  hope,  that 
fomething  would  be  done  for  God,  and  that  God 
would  ule  and  help  me  in  his  work.  And  O, 
how  fweet  were  the  thoughts  of  labouring  for  God, 
when  I  felt  my  fpirit  and  courage,  and  had  any  hope 
that  ever  1  fhould  be  fucceeded  ! 

[The  next  day,  his  fchoolmafter  was  taken  fick 
with  a  pleurify  ;  and  he  fpent  great  part  of  the  re- 
mainder of  this  week  in  tending  him  :  Which  in 
his  weak  flate  was  almoft  an  overbearing  burden  to 
him  j  he  being  obliged  conftantly  to  wait  upon  him 
all  day,  from  day  to  day,  and  to  lie  on  the  floor  at 
night.  His  fpirits  funk  in  a  confiderable  degree, 
with  his  bodily  ftrength,  under  this  burden.] 

Monday y  March  31. — Towards  night,  enjoyed 
fome  fvvcet  meditations  on  thofe  words,  //  is  good  for 
me  to  draw  near  to  God.  My  foul,  I  think,  had  fome 
fweet  fenfe  of  what  is  intended  in  thofe  words. 

Wednefday^  April  2. — Was  fomewhat  exercifed 
with  a  fpiritlefs  frame  of  mind.  Was  a  little  reliev- 
ed and  refrefhed  in  the  evening,  with  meditation 
alone  in  the  woods.  But  alas,  my  days  pafs  away 
as  the  chafF.  It  is  but  little  I  do,  or  can  do,  that 
turns  to  my  account ;  and  it  is  my  conftant  mifery 
and  burden,  that  I  am  fo  fruitlefs  in  the  vineyard  of 
the  Lord.  O  that  I  were  fpirit,  that  I  might  be  act- 
ive for  God.  This,  I  think,  more  than  any  thing 
elfe,  makes  me  long,  that  this  corruptible  might  put 
on  incorruption,  and  this  mortal  put  o?i  immortality. 

God 


Mr.   DAVID  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      211 

God  deliver  me  from  clogs,  fetters,  and  a  body  of 
death,  that  impede  my  fervice  for  him. 

[The  next  day,  he  complains  bitterly  of  fome  ex- 
ercifes  by  corruption  he  found  in  his  own  heart.] 

Friday^  April  4. — Spent  moft  of  the  day  in  writ- 
ing on  Rev.  xxii.  17.  Andwhofoever  willy  &c.  En-* 
joyed  fome  freedom  and  encouragement  in  my  work  ; 
and  found  fome  comtort  and  compofure  in  prayer. 

Saturday,  April  5. — After  publick  worlhip,  a 
number  of  my  dear  chriftian  Indians  came  to  my 
houfe  J  with  whom  I  felt  a  fvveet  union  of  foul  : 
My  heart  was  knit  to  them  ;  and  I  cannot  fay,  I  have 
felt  fuch  a  iweet  and  fervent  love  to  the  brethren, 
for  fome  time  paft  :  And  I  i\\\Y  in  them  appearances 
of  the  fame  love.  This  gave  me  fomething  of  a 
view  of  the  heavenly  flate  ;  and  particularly  that 
part  of  the  happinefs  of  heaven,  which  confifls  in 
the  communion  of  faints  ;  and  this  was  affecting 
to  me. 

[The  following  week  was  fpent  in  a  journey  to 
Elizabeth-Town  and  Staten-Ifland,  at  which  lafl 
place  he  preached  on  the  Sabbath  to  an  affembly  of 
Dutch  and  Englifli.] 

Monday,  April  14. — My  fpirits  this  day  were 
raifed  and  refrelhed,  and  my  mind  compofed,  fo 
that  I  was  in  a  comfortable  frame  of  Ibul,  mofl  of 
the  day.  In  the  evening,  my  head  v^as  clear,  my 
mind  ferene  j  I  enjoyed  fweetnefs  in  fecret  prayer, 
and  meditation  on  Pfal.  Ixxiii.  28.  •  O,  how  free, 
how  comfortable,  cheerful,  and  yet  folemn  do  I  feel 
when  I  am  in  a  good  meafure  freed  from  thofe 
damps  and  melancholy  glooms,  that  1  often  labour 
under  !  7\nd  bleiTed  be  the  Lord,  I  find  myfelf  re- 
lieved in  this  refpedl. 

Tuefday,  April  15. — My  foul  longed  for  moro 
fpirituality  ;  and  it  was  my  burden,  that  I  could  do 
no  more  for  God.     O,  my  barrennefs  is  my  daily 

O  2  affli^io« 


ii2  The    LF  F  E    of 

afflidlion  and  heavy  load  !  O,  how  precious  is  time ; 
and  how  it  pains  me,  to  lee  it  Hide  away,  while  I 
do  fo  very  little  to  any  good  purpofe  !  O  that  God 
would  make  me  more  fruitful  and  fpiritual. 

[The  next  day  he  fpeaks  of  his  being  almoft  over- 
whelmed with  vapoury  diforders  ;  but  yet  not  fo  as 
wholly  to  deflroy  the  compofure  of  his  mind.] 

T'hurfduy,  April  17. — Enjoyed  fome  comfort  in 
prayer,  fome  freedom  in  meditation,  and  compofure 
in  my  fludics.  Spent  fome  time  in  writing,  in  the 
forenoon.  In  the  afternoon,  fpent  fome  time  in  con- 
verfation  with  feveral  dear  minifters.  In  the  even- 
ing, preached  from  Pfal.  Ixxiii.  28.  But  it  is  good 
for  me  to  draw  near  to  God,  God  helped  me  to  feel 
the  truth  of  my  text,  both  in  the  iirfl  prayer  and  in 
fermon.  I  was  enabled  to  pour  out  my  foul  to  God, 
with  great  freedom,  fervency,  and  affe(5tion  :  And, 
bleffed  be  the  Lord,  it  was  a  comfortable  feafon  to 
me.  I  was  enabled  to  fpeak  with  tendemefs,  and 
yet  with  fiiithfulnefs  :  And  divine  truths  feemed  to 
fall  with  weight  and  influence  upon  the  hearers.  My 
heart  was  melted  for  the  dear  affembly,  land  I  loved 
every  body  in  it ;  and  fcarce  ever  felt  more  love  to 
immortal  fouls  in  my  life  j  my  foul  cried,  O  that 
the  dear  creatures  might  be  faved  !  O  that  God  would 
have  mercy  on  them  ! 

[He  feems  to  have  been  in  a  very  com.fortable 
frame  of  mind  the  two  next  days.] 

Lord's  Day,  April 20^. — Enjoyed  fome  freedom, 
and,  I  hope,  exercife  of  faith  in  prayer,  in  the  morn- 
ing ;  efpecially  when  I  came  to  pray  for  Zion.  I 
was  free  from  that  gloomy  difcouragemcnt,  that  fo 
often  opprefl'es  my  mind  ;  and  my  foul  rejoiced  in 
the  hopes  of  Zion's  profperity,  and  the  enlargement 
of  the  dear  kingdom  of  the  great  Redeemer.  O  that 
his  kingdom  might  come. 

T^uefday^ 

*  This  day  he  entered  into  the  cgth  year  of  his  age. 


Mr.   DAVID    BRAINERD.       213 

TuefJay,  April  22. — My  mind  was  remarkably- 
free,  this  day,  from  melancholy  damps  and  glooms, 
and  animated  in  my  work.  I  found  fuch  frelli  vig- 
our and  refolution  in  the  fervice  of  God,  that  the 
mountains  feemed  to  become  a  plain  before  me.  G 
bleffcd  be  God  for  an  interval  of  refrelhment,  and 
fervent  refolution  in  my  Lord's  work  !  In  the  even- 
ing, my  foul  was  refrelhed  in  fecret  prayer,  and  my 
heart  drawn  out  for  divine  bleflings  j  efpecially  for 
the  church  of  God,  and  his  intereft  among  my  own 
people,  and  for  dear  friends  in  remote  places.  O 
that  Zion  might  profper,  and  precious  fouls  be 
brought  home  to  God  ! 

[See,  for  about  this  time,  the  Journal.] 

Saturday y  May  3. — Rode  from  Elizabeth-Town 
home  to  my  people,  at  or  near  Cranberry  ;  whicher 
they  are  now  removed,  and  where,  I  hope,  God  will 
fettle  them  as  a  chrifbian  congregation.  Was  refrelh- 
ed in  lifting  up  my  heart  to  God,  while  ri'din^  ; 
and  enjoyed  a  thankful  frame  of  fpirit,  tor  divine  fa- 
vours received  the  week  pafl:.  Was  fomewhat  uneafy 
and  deje(tl:ed,  in  the  evening  ;  having  no  houfe  of  my 
own  to  go  into  in  this  place;  but  God  was  my  fuppart. 

Wed?iefdayy  May  7. — Spent  moft  of  the  day  ift 
writing,  as  ufual.  Enjoyed  fome  freedom  in  my 
work.  Was  favoured  with  fome  comfortable  med- 
itations, this  day.  In  the  evening,  was  in  a  fweet 
compofed  frame  of  mind  :  Was  pleafed'and  delight- 
ed to  leave  all  with  God,  refpecSting  myfelf,  for  tmie 
and  eternity,  and  rcfpecling  the  people  of  my  charge, 
and  dear  friends.  Had  no  doubt  but  that  God  would 
take  care  of  me,  and  of  his  own  intereft  among  my 
people  ;  And  was  enabled  to  ufc  freedom  in  prayer, 
as  a  child  with  a  tender  father.  O,  how  fweet  i? 
fuch  a  fnime  ! 

Thurjdayy  May  8. — In  the  evening,  was  fomewhat 
refrcflicd  with  divine  things,  and  enjoyed  a  tendef 

O  3  melting 


214  The    LIFE    of 

inelting  Irame  in  fecret  prayer,  wherein  my  foul  was 
drawn  out  for  the  interefi:  of  Zion,  and  comforted 
with  the  hvely  hope  of  the  appearing  of  the  king- 
dom of  the  great  Redeemer.  Thefe  were  fwect  mo- 
ments :  I  felt  almoft  loth  to  go  to  bed,  and  grieved  that 
fleep  was  neceffary.  However,  I  lay  down  with  a 
tender  reverential  fear  of  God,  fenfible  that  his  fa- 
iwur  is  ///f  ,and  his  fmiles  better  than  all  that  earth  can 
boaft  of,  infinitely  better  than  life  itfelf. 

[Friday,  May  9. — See  the  Journal.] 

Saturday,  May  10. — Rode  to  Allen's-Town,  to 
aflift  in  the  adminiftration  of  the  Lord's  fupper.  In 
the  afternoon,  preached  from  Tit.  ii.  14.  Who  gave 
himfelffor  us,  &c.  God  was  pleafed  to  carry  me 
through  with  fome  competency  of  freedom  ;  and 
yet  to  deny  me  that  enlargement  and  power  I  long- 
ed for.  In  the  evening,  my  foul  mourned,  and 
could  not  but  mourn,  that  I  had  treated  fo  excellent 
a  fubjed:  in  fo  defective  a  manner ;  that  I  had  borne 
fo  broken  a  teftimony  for  fo  worthy  and  glorious  a 
Redeemer.  And  if  my  difcourfe  had  met  with  the 
utmoft  applaufe  from  all  the  world  (as  I  accidentally 
heard  it  applauded  by  fome  perfons  of  judgment)  it 
would  not  have  given  me  any  fatisfadion.  O,  it 
grieved  me,  to  think  that  I  had  had  no  more  holy 
warmth  and  fervency,  that  I  had  been  no  more  melt- 
ed in  difcourfing  of  Chrifl's  death,  and  the  end  and 
delign  of  it  !  Afterwards,  enjoyed  fome  freedom  and 
fervency  in  fecret  and  family  prayer, and  longed  much 
for  the  prefence  of  God  to  attend  his  word  and  ordi- 
nances the  next  day. 

Lord's  Day,  May  11. — AfTifted  in  the  adminiflra- 
tion  of  the  Lord's  fupper  ;  but  enjoyed  little  en- 
largement :  Was  grieved  and  funk  with  fome  things 
I  thought  undeiirable,  &c.  In  the  afternoon,  went 
to  the  houfe  of  God  weak  and  fick  in  foul,  as  well 
^s  feeble  in  bqdy  :   And  longed,  that  the  peopl: 

mijiht 


Mr.    D  A  VID   BR  AINERD.      215 

might  be  entertained  and  edified  with  divine  truths, 
and  that  an  honeft  fervent  teftimony  might  be  borne 
for  God  ;  but  knew  not  how  it  was  poflible  for  me 
to  do  any  thing  of  that  kind,  to  any  good  purpofe. 
Yet  God,  who  is  rich  in  mercy,  was  pleafed  to  give 
me  afTiftance,  both  in  prayer  and  preaching.     God 
helped  me  to  wreftle  for  his  prefence  in  prayer,  and 
to  tell  him,  that  he  had  promifed.  Where  two  or  three 
are  met  together  i?i  his  name^  there  he  would  be  in  the 
7nidjl  of  them  ;  and  that  we  were,  at  leaft  fome  of  us, 
fo  met  ;  and  pleaded,  that  for  his  truth's  fake  he 
would  be  with  us.  AndblefTed  be  God,  it  was  fweet 
to  my  foul,  thus  to  plead,  and  rely  on  God*s  prom- 
ifes.     Difcourfed  upon  Luke  ix.  30.  '^\.  And  behold, 
there  talked  with  him  two  men,  which  were  Mofes  and 
Elias  ;  who  appeared  in  glory,  an  df pake  of  his  deceafe, 
which  he  Jhould  acccmplijh  at  'Jeriifale??!,     Enjoyed 
fpecial  freedom,   from  the  beginning  to  the  end  of 
my  difcourfe,  without  interruption.     Things  perti- 
nent to  the  fubjed:  were  abunelantly  prefe,nted  to  my 
view,  and  fuch   a  fulnefs  of  matter,  that.  I   fcarce 
knew  how  to  difmifs  the  various  heads  and  particu- 
lars I  had  occalion  to  touch  upon.     And,  blefled  be 
the  Lord,  I  was  favoured  with  fome  fervency  and 
power,  as  well  as  freedom  ;  fo  that  the  word   of 
God  fcemed  to  awaken  the  attention  of  a  flupid  au- 
dience, to  a  confiderable  degree.     I  was  inwardly  re- 
frelhed  with  the  confolations  of  God  ;    and  could 
with  my  whole  heart  fay,  'Though  there  be  ?io  fruit 
in  the  vine,  &c.  yeS  will  I  rejoice  in  the  Lord.     After 
publick  fervice,  was  refreflied  with  the  fweet  con- 
verfation  of  fome  chriftian  friends. 

[The  four  next  days  feem  to  have  been  moflly 
fpcnt  with  fpiritual  comfort  and  profit.] 

Friday,  i'Wt/)' 16.— Near  night,  enjoyed  fome  agree- 
able and  fweet  convcrfiuion  with  a  dear  miniftcr, 
which,  I  truft,   was  hlefled  to  my  foul  :  My  heart 

O  4  was 


2th6  The    LIFE    of 

was  warmed,  and  my  foul  engaged  to  live  to  God  • 
io  that  I  longed  to  exert  myfelf  with  more  vigour, 
than  ever  I  had  done,  in  his  caufe  :  And  thofe  words 
were  quickening  to  me,  Herein  is  iny  Father  glorifi- 
ed^  that  ye  bring  forth  much  fruit.  O,  my  foul  long- 
ed, and  wifhed,  and  prayed,  to  be  enabled  to  live  to 
God  with  utmpftconftancy  and  ardour  !  In  the  even- 
ing, God  was  pleafed  to  fliine  upon  me  in  fecret 
prayer,  and  draw  out  my  foul  after  himfelf ;  and  I 
had  freedom  in  fupplication  for  myfelf,  but  much 
more  in  interceflion  fdr  others  :  So  that  I  was  fweet- 
ly  conftrained  to  fay.  Lord,  ufe  me  as  thou  wilt ;  do 
as  thou  wilt  with  me  :  But  O,  promote  thine  own 
caufe.  Zion  is  thine  ;  O  vifit  thine  heritage  ;  G  let 
thy  kingdom  come  j  O  let  thy  bleffed  interefl:  be 
advanced  in  the  world  !  When  I  attempted  to  look 
to  God  refpe(5ling  my  worldly  circumflances,  and 
his  providential  dealings  with  me,  in  regard  of  my 
fettling  down  in'tny  congregation,  which  feems  to 
be  neceffary,  and  yet  very  difficult,  and  contrary  to 
my  fixed  intention*  for  years  pafl:,  as  well  as  my 
difpoiition,  which  lias  been,  and  flill  is,  at  times  ef- 
pecially,  to  go  forth,  and  fpend  my  life  in  preach- 
ing the  gofpel  from  place  to  place,  and  gathering 
fouls  afar  off  to  Jeftis  the  great  Redeemer  ;  when  I 
attempted  to  look  to  G6d  with  regard  to  thefe  things, 
and  his  defigns  concerning  me,  I  could  only  fay, 
ne  will  of  the  Lord  he  done  :  It  is  no  matter  for  me. 
The  fame  frame  of  mind  I  felt  with  rcfped:  to  an- 
other important  aflfiiirl  have  lately  had  fome  ferious 
thoughts  of  :  I  could  fay,  with  utmoil  calmnefs 
and  compofure.  Lord,  if  it  be  mofl  for  thy  glory, 
let  me  proceed  in  it ;  but  if  thou  feefl  that  it  will  in 
any  wife  hinder  my  ufcfulncfs  in  thy  caufe,  G  pre- 
vent my  proceeding  :  For  all  I  want,  refpeding  this 
world,  is  fiich  circumflances  as  may  befl  capacitate 
me  to  do  fervice  for  God  in  the  world.     Bi;t  bleffcd 

be 


Mr.   DAVID     BRA  I  NERD      217 

be  God,  I  enjoyed  liberty  in  prayer  for  my  dear 
flock,  and  was  enabled  to  pour  out  my  foul  into  the 
bofom  of  a  tender  father.  My  heart  within  me  was 
melted,  when  I  came  to  plead  for  my  dear  people, 
and  for  the  kingdom,  of  Chrift  in  general.  O,  how 
iweet  was  this  evening  to  my  foul  !  I  knew  not  how 
to  go  to  bed  ;  and  when  got  to  bed,  longed  for  fome 
way  to  improve  time  for  God,  to  fome  excellent 
purpofe.     Blcfs  the  Lord,  O  my  foul. 

Saturday,  May  17. — Walked  out  in  the  morning, 
and  felt  miuch  of  the  fime  frame  I  enjoyed  the  even- 
ing before  :  Had  my  heart  enlarged  in  praying  for 
the  advancement  of  the  kingdom  of  Chrift,  and 
found  utmoft  freedom  in  leaving  all  my  concerns 
with  God.  .  ,, 

I  find  difcouragements  to  be  an  exceeding  hitV- 
drance  to  my  fpiritual  fervency  and  affedion  :  But 
when  God  enables  me  fenfibly  to  find  that  I  have 
done  fomething  for  him,  this  refreilies  and  animates 
me,  fo  that  I  could  break  through  all  hardlhips,  un- 
dergo any  labours,  and  nothing  feems  too  much 
either  to  do  or  to  fuffer.  But  O,  what  a  death  it  is,  to 
flrive  and  llrive  ;  to  be  always  in  a  hurry,  and  yet 
do  nothing,  or  at  leafl  nothing  for  God  !  Alas,  alas, 
that  time  flies  away,  and  I  do  fo  little  for  God  ! 

LorcVs  Day,  May  18. — I  felt  my  own  utter  infufii- 
ciency  for  my  work :  God  made  me  to  fee  that  I  was  a 
child  j  yea,  that  I  was  a  fool.  I  difcourfed  both  parts  of 
the  day, from  Rev.  iii.  20.  Behold,  Ifandat  the  door  and 
knock.  God  gave  me  freedom  and  power  in  the  lat- 
ter part  of  my  forenoon's  difcourle  ;  although,  in 
the  former  part  of  it,  I  felt  peevilli  and  provoked 
with  the  unmannerly  behaviour  of  the  wiiite  people, 
who  crowded  in  between  my  people  and  me  ;  wiiich 
proved  a  great  temptation  to  me.  But  blclTed  be 
God,  I  got  thcfe  fhackles  off  before  the  middle  of 
my  difcourfe,  and  was  favoured  with  a  fwect  frame 

of 


^i8  Th  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

of  fpirit  in  the  latter  part  of  the  exercife  ;  was  full 
of  love,  warmth,  and  tendernefs,  in  addrefTing  my 
dear  people.  In  the  intermifTion  feafon,  could  not 
but  difcourfe  to  my  people  on  the  kindnefs  and  pa- 
tience of  Chrift,  mjiiinding  and  knocki?ig  at  the  doo}\ 
&c.  In  the  evening  I  was  grieved  that  I  had  done 
fb  little  for  God.  O  that  I  could  be  aflame  ofjire  in 
the  fervice  of  my  God. 

'Jhurfdayy  May  22. — In  the  evening  was  in  a  frame 
fomewhat  remarkable  :  Had  apprehended  for  fever- 
al  days  before,  that  it  was  the  defign  of  Providence  I 
lliould  ibttle  among  my  people  here  ;  and  had  in  my 
own  mind  begun  to  makcproviiion  forit  j  and  to  con- 
trive means  to  haften  it ;  and  found  my  heart  fomething 
engaged  in  it  ,hopingI  might  then  enjoy  more  agreeable 
circumftances  of  life,  in  feveral  refpe6ts  :  And  yet  was 
never  fully  determined,  never  quite  pleafed  with  the 
thoughts  of  being  fettled  and  confined  to  one  place. 
Neverthelefs,  I  feemed  to  have  fome  freedom  m  that 
refpedt,  becaufe  the  congregation  I  thought  of  fettling 
with,  was  one  that  God  had  enabled  me  to  gather  from 
amongft  Pagans.      For  I  never,  fince  I  began  to 
preach,  could  feel  any  freedom  to  etiter  i?ito  other 
nje?i's  labours^  and  fettle  down  in  the  ministry  where 
the  gofpel  was  preached  before  ;  I  never  could  make 
that  appear  to  be  my  province.    When  I  felt  any 
difpofition  toconfult  my  eafe  and  worldly  comfort, 
God  has  never  given  me  any  liberty  in  that  refpect, 
either  fince,  or  for  years  before  I   began  to  preach. 
But  God  having  fucceeded  my  labours,  and  made  me 
inftrumental  of  gathering  a  church  for  him  among 
thefe  Indians,  I  was  ready  to  think  it  might   be  his 
defign  to  give  me  a*quiet  fettlement  and  a  flated 
home  of  my  own.     And  this,  confidcring  the  late 
frequent  finking  and  failure  of  my  fpirits,  and  the 
need  I  ftood  in  of  fome  agreeable  fociety,  and  my 
great  defire  of  enjoying  conveniences  and  opportu- 
nities 


Mr.   DAVID   BRAINERD.        219 

nities  for  profitable  fludies,  was  not  altogether  difii- 
greeable  tome  :  Although  I  Itili  wanted  to  go  about, 
far  and  wide,  in  order  to  fpread  the  blelTed  gofpcl 
among  benighted  fouls,  far  remote  ;  yet  1  never  had. 
been  fo  willing  to  fettle  in  any  one  place,  for  more 
than  five  years  paft,  as  I  was  in  the  foregoing  part 
of  this  week.  But  now  thefe  thoughts  fecmed  to  be 
wholly  daihcd  to  pieces  ;  not  by  neceflity,  but  of 
choice  :  For  itappeared  to  me,  that  God's  dealings 
towards  me  had  fitted  me  for  a  life  of  folitarinefs  and 
hardfhip  :  It  appeared  to  me,  1  had  nothing  to  lofe, 
nothing  to  do  with  earth,  and  confequently  nothing 
to  lofe  by  a  total  renunciation  of  it :  And  it  appear- 
ed jufl:  right  that  I  fhould  be  deftitute  of  houfe  and 
home,  and  many  comforts  of  life,  which  I  rejoiced 
to  fee  others  of  God*s  people  enjoy.  And  at  the 
fame  time,  1  law  {o  much  of  the  excellency  of 
Chrift's  kingdom,  and  the  infinite  deiirablenefs  of 
its  advancement  in  the  world,  that  it  fwallowed  up 
all  my  other  thoughts  ;  and  made  me  willing,  yea, 
even  rejoice,  to  be  made  a  pilgrim  or  hermit  in  t}^ 
wilderneis,  to  my  dying  m.oment,  if  I  might  thcrc-i 
by  promote  the  bleffed  interefl:  of  the  great  Redeem- 
er. And  if  ever  my  foul  prefentcd  it  ("elf  to  God  for 
hisfervice,  without  any  referve  of  any  kind,  it  did 
fo  now.  The  language  of  my  thoughts  and  difpo- 
iition  (although  I  ipake  no  words)  now  were,  Htrj 
I  am.  Lord,  fend  tne;  fend  me  to  the  ends  of  the  earth  ; 
fend  me  to  the  rough,  the  favage  Pagans  of  the  wil- 
dernefs  ;  fend  me  from  all  that  is  called  comfort  in 
earth,  or  earthly  comfort  j  fend  me  even  to  death  it- 
ielf,  if  it  be  but  in  thy  fervice,  and  to  promote  thy 
kingdom.  And  at  the  fame  time  I  had  as  quick  and 
lively  a  fenfe  of  the  value  of  worldly  comforts,  as  ever 
I  had  ;  but  only  law  them  infinitely  overmatched  by 
the  worth  of  Chrifl's  kingdom,  and  the  propaga- 
fion  of  his  blcflcd  gofpcl.      The  quiet   fettlement, 

the 


220  The    life    of 

the  certain  place  of  abode,  the  tender  friendfhip, 
which  I  thought  I  might  be  likely  to  enjoy  in  con- 
fequence  of  fuch  ci re um fiances,  appeared  as  valua- 
ble to  me,  confidercd  abfolutely  and  in  themfelves,  as 
ever  before  ;  but  confidered  comparatively,  they  ap- 
peared nothing  :  Compared  with  the  value  and  pre- 
cioufnefs  of  an  enlargement  of  Chrift's  kingdom,  they 
vanifhed  like  the  ftars  before  the  riling  fun.  And  fure 
I  am,  that  although  the  comfortable  accommodations 
of  life  appeared  valuable  and  dear  to  me,  yet  I  did  fur- 
render  and  relignmyfelf,  foul  and  body,  to  the  fervice 
of  God,  and  promotion  of  Chrifl's  kingdom  ;  though 
it  fhould  be  in  the  lofs  of  them  ail.  And  I  could 
not  do  any  other,  becaufe  I  could  not  will  or  choofe 
any  other.  I  was  confirained,  and  yet  chofe  to  fay. 
Farewell  friends  and  earthly  comforts,  the  deareft 
of  them  all,  the  very  dearefl,  if  the  Lord  calls  for  it  ; 
Adieu,  adieu ;  I  will  fpend  my  life,  to  my  lateft  mo- 
ments, in  caves  and  dens  of  the  earth,  if  the  king- 
dom of  Chrift  may  thereby  be  advanced.  I  found 
extraordinary  freedom  at  this  time  in  pouring  out 
my  foul  to  God,  for  his  caufe  ;  and  efpccialiy  that 
his  kingdom  might  be  extended  among  the  Indians, 
far  remote  ;  and  I  had  a  great  and  ftrong  hope  that 
God  would  do  it.  I  continued  wreftling  with  God 
in  prayer  for  my  dear  little  flock  here  ;  and  more 
efpecially  for  the  Indians  elfevvhere  ;  as  well  as  for 
dear  friends  in  one  place  and  anotlier  ;  until  it  was 
bed  time,  and  I  feared  I  fliould  hinder  the  family, 
&c.  But  O,  with  what  reluftancy  did  I  find  my- 
felf  obliged  to  confume  tiine  in  flsep  !  I  longed 
to  be  as  aflame  of  fire  y  continually  glowing  in  the 
divine  fervice,  preaching  and  building  up  Chrift's 
kingdom,  to  mylateif,  my  dying  moment. 

Friday,  May  23. — In  the  morning  was  in  the  fame 
frame  of  mind,  as  in  the  evening  before.  The  glory 
of  Chrift's  kingdom   'io  much  outlhone  the  pleai- 

ure 


M  R.    D  A  V  I  D   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      a2i 

ure  of  earthly  accommodations  and  enjoyments,  that 
they  appeared  comparatively  nothing,  though  in 
themfelves  good  and  defirable.  My  Ibul  was  melt- 
ed in  fecret  meditation  and  prayer,  and  1  found  my- 
felf  divorced  from  any  part  in  this  world  ;  fo  that 
in  thofe  affairs  that  feemed  of  the  greateft  importance 
to  me,  in  refped:  of  the  prefent  life,  and  thofe  where- 
in the  tender  powers  of  the  mind  are  mofl  fenfibly 
touched,  I  could  only  fay,  The  will  of  the  Lord  be 
done.  But  jufi:  the  fame  things  that  I  felt  the  even- 
ing before,  I  felt  now ;  and  found  the  fame  freedom 
in  prayer  for  the  people  of  my  charge,  for  the  prop- 
agation of  the  gofpel  among  the  Indians,  and  for  the 
enlargement  and  fpiritual  welfare  of  Zionin  general, 
and  my  dear  friends  in  particular,  now,  as  I  did  then  ; 
and  longed  to  burn  out  in  one  continued  flame  for 
God.  Retained  much  of  the  fame  frame  through 
the  day.  In  the  evening  was  vifited  by  my  brother 
John  Brainerd  :  The  firfl:  vifit  1  have  ever  received 
from  any  near  relative,  fince  I  have  been  a  Miflion- 
ary.  Felt  the  fame  frame  of  fpirit  in  the  evening, 
as  in  the  morning  ;  and  found  that  it  was  good  for 
me  to  draw  near  to  God,  and  leave  all  my  concerns 
and  burdens  with  him.  Was  enlarged  and  refrefh- 
ed  in  pouring  out  my  foul  for  the  propagation  of  the 
gofpel  of  the  Redeemer  among  the  diftant  tribes  of 
Indians.  Bleffcd  be  God.  If  ever  I  filled  up  a  day 
with  fludies  and  devotion,  I  was  enabled  fo  to  fill  up 
this  day. 

Saturday,  May  a4.-^Enjoyed,  this  day,  fomcthing 
of  the  lame  frame  of  mind  as  I  felt  the  day  before. 

Monday,  ^une  2. — In  the  evening,  enjoyed  fome 
freedom  in  iecret  prayer  and  meditation. 

Tuefday,  ^une  3. — My  foul  rejoiced  early  in  the 
morning,  to  think  that  all  things  were  at  God*s 
difpofal.       O    it  pleafedi  me  to  leave  them  there. 
Felt  afterwards  much  as  I  did  on  Thurfday  evening, 

May 


222  The    life    of 

May  22  laft  ;  and  continued  in  this  frame  for  fever- 
al  hours.  Walked  out  into  the  wildernefs,  and  en- 
joyed freedom,  fervency,  and  comfort  in  prayer: 
And  again  enjoyed  the  fame  in  tlie  evening. 

Wednefday^  'June  4. — Spent  the  day  in  v^^iting,  and 
enjoyed  fome  comfort,  fatisfac^lion  and  freedom  in 
my  work.      In  the  evening  I  was  favoured   with  a^ 
fweet  rcfrefliing  frame  of  foul  in  fecret  prayer  a 
meditation.     Prayer  was  now  wholly  turned  in 
praife ;   and  I  could  do   little  elfe  but  try  to  ado 
and  blefs  the  living  God  :  The  wonders  of  his  grace 
difplayed  in  gatheririg  to  himlelf  a  church  amonffl 
the  poor  Indians  here,  were  the  fubjed:  matter  of  mj^ 
meditation,  and  the  occadon  of  exciting  my  foul  t<^ 
praife  and  blefs  his  name.     My  foul  was  fcarce  eveti 
more  difpofed  to  inquire,    What  I  Jhould  render  to'' 
God  for  all  his  benefits^  than  at  this  time.     O,  I  was' 
brought  into  a  ftrait,  a  fweet  and  happy  ftrait,  to 
know  what  to  do !  I  longed  to  make  fomc  returns  to 
God  ;    but  found  I  had  nothing  to  return  :    I  could 
only  rejoice  that  God  had  done  the  work  himfelf ;: 
and  that  none  in  heaven  or  earth  might  pretend  tO/ 
fliare  the  honour  of  it  with  him  :  I  could  only  be| 
glad  that  God*s  declarative  glory  was  advanced  by  the' 
converfion  of  thefe  fouls,  and  that  it  was  to  the  en-*^ 
largement  of  his  kingdom  in  the  world  :  Rut  faw  I? 
was  fo  poor  that  I  had  nothing  to  offer  to  him.     My 
foul  and  body,  through  grace,  I  could  cheerfully  furren- 
der  to  him  :  But  it  appeared  to  me  tliis  was  ratlier  a 
cumber  than  a  gift :  And  nothing  could  I  do  to  glo- 
rify his  dear  and  blelTed  name.     Yet  I  was  glad  at 
heart,  that  he  was  unchangeably  pofft^fied  of  glory| 
and  blcffcdnefs.     O  that  he  might  be  adored  an 
prailbd  by  all  his  intelligent  creatures,  to  the  utmoil 
of  their  powers  and  capacities.     My  foul  would 
have  rejoiced   to  lee  others  praife  him,  though   I 
could  do  nothing  towards  it  myfclf. 

FThe 


Mr.   DA  VI  D    BR  A  I  NERD.      223 

[The  next  day  he  fpeaks  of  his  being  fubjed:  to 
fome  degree  of  melancholy  ;  but  of  being  fomething 
relieved  in  the  evening.] 

[Friday,  June  6. — See  the  Journal.] 

Saturday y  June"]. — Rode  to  Freehold,  to  affill:  Mr. 
Tennent  in  the  adminiftration  of  the  Lord's  fupper. 
In  the  afternnon  preached  from  Pfal.  Ixxiii.  28. 
God  gave  me  fome  freedom  and  warmth  in  my  dif- 
courfe  ;  and,  I  truft,  his  prefcnce  was  in  theaffembly. 
Was  comfortably  compofed,  and  enjoyed  a  thank- 
ful frame  of  fpirit ;  and  my  foul  was  grieved,  that  I 
could  not  render  fomething  to  God  for  his  benefits  be- 
llowed .   O  that  I  could  be  fvvallowed  up  in  his  praife  ! 

Lord's  Day,  Jimc  8. — Spent  much  time  in  the 
morning  in  fecret  duties  ;  but  between  hope  and 
tear,  refpe(fling  the  enjoyment  of  God  in  the  bufincfs 
of  the  day  then  before  us.  Was  agreeably  entertain- 
ed, in  the  forenoon,  by  a  difcourfe  from  Mr.  Ten- 
nent, and  felt  fomewhat  melted  and  refreflied.  Id 
the  feafon  of  communion  enjoyed  fome  comfort  ; 
and  efpecially  in  ferving  one  of  the  tables.  Bleffed 
be  the  Lord  it  was  a  time  of  refrefliing  to  me,  and,  I 
truft,  to  many  others.  A  number  of  my  dear  peo- 
ple fat  down  by  themfelves  at  the  laft  table  ;  at 
which  time  God  leemed  to  be  in  the  midft  of  them. 
And  the  thoughts  of  what' God  had  done  among 
them  were  retrclliing  and  melting  to  me.  In  the 
.afternoon  God  enabled  me  to  preach  with  uncom- 
mon freedom,  from  2  Cor.  v.  20.  Through  the 
goodnefs  of  God  I  was  favoured  with  a  conftant  flow 
of  pertinent  matter,  and  proper  expreffions,  from  the 
beginning  to  the  end  of  my  diicourfe.  In  the  evening 
I  could  not  but  rejoice  in  God,  and  blefs  him  for  the 
manifellations  of  his  grace  in  the  day  paft.  O,  it 
was  a  fvveet  and  folcm.n  day  and  evening  !  A  feafon 
of  comfort  to  the  godly,  and  of  awakening  to  fome 
fouls.     O  that  I  could  praife  the  Lord. 

Monday, 


224  The    life    of 

Monday,  'June  9. — Enjoyed  foine  fweetnefs  in  fc- 
cret  duties.  Preached  the  concluding  fermon  from 
Gen.  V.  24.  And  Enoch  walked  with  God,  &c.  God 
gave  me  enlargement  and  fervency  in  my  difcourfe  ; 
fo  that  I  was  enabled  to  fpeak  with  plainnefs  and 
power  j  and  God*s  prefence  feemed  to  be  in  the  af- 
fembly.  Praifed  be  the  Lord  it  was  a  fweet  meeting, 
a  defirable  affembly.  I  found  my  flrength  renew- 
ed, and  lengthened  out  even  to  a  wonder  ;  fo  that 
1  felt  much  ftronger  at  the  conclufion,  than  in  the 
beginningof  this  facramental  folcmnity.  I  have  great 
reafon  to  blefs  God  for  this  folemnity,  wherein  I 
have  found  alTiflance  in  addreffing  others,  and  fweet- 
nefs in  my  own  foul. 

[On  Tuefday,  he  found  himfelf  fpent,  and  his 
fpirits  exhaufted  by  his  late  labours  ;  and  on  Wed- 
nefday  complains  of  vapoury  diforders,  and  dejection 
of  fpirit,  and  of  enjoying  but  little  comfort  or  fpirit- 
uality.] 

Thurfday,  'June  i2. — In  the  evening  enjoyed  free- 
dom of  mind,  and  fome  fweetnefs  in  fecret  prayer: 
It  was  a  defirable  feafon  to  me  ;  my  loul  was  en- 
larged in  prayer  for  my  own  dear  people,  and  for 
theenlargement  of  Chrifl*s  kingdom,  and  efpecially 
for  the  propagation  of  the  gofpel  among  the  Indians, 
back  in  the  wildernefs.  Was  refreflied  in  prayer 
for  dear  friends  in  New-England,  and  elfewhere  : 
I  found  it  fwect  to  pray  at  this  tim.e  ;  and  could 
with  all  my  heart  fay.  It  is  good  for  mc  to  draw  near 
to  God. 

Friday y  June  13. — I  came  away  from  the  meeting 
ing  of  the  Indians,  this  day,  rejoicing  and  blefling 
God  for  his  grace  manifefted  at  this  feafon. 

Saturday^  June  14. — Rode  to  Kingflon,  to  afliil 
the  Rev.  Mr.  Wales  in  the  adminiibation  of  the 
Lord's  fupper.  In  the  afternoon  preached  ;  but 
almoft  fainted  in  the  pulpit ;  Yet  God  ftrcngthened 

me 


Mr.   DAVID   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.        225 

me  when  I  was  jufl:  gone,  and  enabled  me  to  fpeak 
his  word  with  freedom,  fervency,  and  application  to 
the  confcience.  And  praifed  be  the  Lord,  out  of 
"ji'eaknefs  Iwasmadejlrong,  I  enjoyed  fome  fweetnefs, 
in  and  after  publick  worfhip  ;  but  was  extremely 
tired.  O,  how  many  are  the  mercies  of  the  Lord  1 
To  them  that  have  no  7night^  he  increafcth  Jlrength . 

hordes  Day,  ^tme  15. — Was  in  a  dejecSted  fpirit- 
Jefs  frame,  that  I  could  not  hold  up  my  head,  nor 
look  any  body  in  the  face.  Adminiftered  the  Lord's 
fupper  at  Mr.  Wales's  defire  :  And  found  myfelf  in 
a  good  mcafure  unburdened  and  relieved  of  my  prefl- 
ing  load,  when  I  came  to  afk  a  bleffing  on  the  ele- 
ments :  Here  God  gave  me  enlargement,  and  a  ten- 
der affecrionate  fenfe  of  fpiritual  things  j  fo  that  it 
was  a  feafon  of  comfort,  in  ibme  meafure,  to  me, 
and,  I  truft,  more  fo  to  others.  In  the  afternoon, 
preached  to  a  vafl:  multitude,  from  Rev.  xxii.  17. 
And 'whofoever  will,  &c.  God  helped  me  to  offer  a 
teftimony  for  himfelf,  and  to  leave  finners  inexcufa- 
ble  in  neglediing  his  grace.  I  was  enabled  to  fpeak 
with  fuch  freedom,  fluency  and  clearnefs,  as  com- 
manded the  attention  of  the  great.  Was  extremely  tired 
in  the  evening,  but  enjoyed  compofure  and  fweetnefs, 

Monday,  'June  16. — Preached  again,  and  God  help- 
ed me  amazingly,  fo  that  this  was  a  fweet  refrelli- 
ing  feafon  to  m^y  foul  and  others.  O,  forever  blefl* 
ed  be  God  for  help  afforded  at  this  time,  when  my 
body  was  fo  weak,  and  while  there  was  fo  large  an 
alfcmbly  to  hear.  Spent  the  afternoon  in  a  comfort- 
able agreeable  manner. 

[The  next  day  was  fpent  comfortably. 

On  Wednefday  he  went  to  a  meeting  of  minifters 
at  Hopewell.] 

[Thurfday,  June  19.— See  his  Journal.] 

[On  Friday  and  Saturday  be  was  very  muchamifs; 
but  yet  preached  to  his  people  on  Saturday.     His 

P  ilJnefs 


226  The    LIFE    of 

illnefs  continued  on  the  Sabbath  ;  but  he  preached^ 
notwithftanding,  to  his  people,  both  parts  of  the  days 
And  after  the  pubh'ck  worfhip  was  ended,  he  en- 
deavoured to  apply  divine  truths  to  the  confciences 
of  fome,  and  addrelTed  them  perfonally  for  that  end: 
Several  were  in  tears,  and  fome  appeared  much  af- 
fe(5ted.  But  he  was  extremely  wearied  with  the 
fervices  of  the  day,  and  was  fo  ill  at  night,  that  he 
could  have  no  bodily  reft  ;  but  remarks  that  God  was 
hisfupportt  and  that  he  was  not  left  deltitute  of 
comfort  in  him.  On  Monday  he  continued  very 
ill,  but  fpeaks  of  his  mind*s  being  calm  and  compof- 
ed,  refigned  to  the  divine  difpenfations,  and  content 
with  his  feeble  ftate.  And  by  the  account  he  gives 
of  himfelf,  the  remaining  part  of  this  week,  he  con- 
tinued very  feeble,  and  for  the  moft  part  dejed;ed 
in  mind,  and  enjoyed  no  great  freedom  nor  fweet- 
nefs  in  fpiritual  things  ;  excepting  that  for  fome 
very  fliort  fpaces  of  time  he  had  refrefliment  and 
encouragement,  which  engaged  his  heart  on  divine 
things  ;  and  fometimes  his  heart  was  melted  with 
fpiritual  afFed:ion.] 

Lord's  Day,  ^une  29. — Preached  both  parts  of  the 
day,  from  John  xiv.  19.  Tet  a  little  while ^  and  the 
world feeth  tne  no  fnore^  dec.  God  was  pleafed  to  aiTifl 
ine,  to  afford  me  both  freedom  and  power  ;  efpe- 
cially  towards  the  clofe  of  my  difcourfes,  both  fore- 
noon and  afternoon.  God*s  power  appeared  in  the 
affembly,  in  both  exercifes.  Numbers  of  God*s 
people  were  refrcfhed  and  melted  with  divine  things ; 
one  or  two  comforted  who  had  been  long  under  dif- 
trefs  ;  Convictions,  in  divers  inftances,  powerful- 
ly revived  ;  and  one  man  in  years  much  awakened, 
who  had  not  long  frequented  our  meeting,  and  ap- 
peared before  as  flupid  as  a  itock.  God  amazingly  re- 
newed and  lengthened  outmyftrength.  I  was  fofpent 
at  noon,  that  I  could  fcarce  walk,  and  all  my  joints 

trembled  3 


Mr.  DAVID  BR  AI  NERD.     ^27 

trembled ;  fo  that  I  could  not  fit  nor  fo  miich  as  hold 
my  hand  ftill  :  And  yet  God  ftrengthencd  me  to 
preach  with  power  in  the  afternoon  ;  although  I  had 
given  out  Word  to  my  people,  that  1  did  not  exped: 
to  be  able  to  do  it.  Spent  fome  time  afterwards  in 
converling,  particularly,  with  feveral  perfons,  about 
their  fpiritual  ftate  ;  and  had  fome  fatisfad:ion  con- 
cerning one  or  two.  Prayed  afterwards  with  a  fick 
child,  and  gave  a  w^ord  of  exhortation.  Was  aflift- 
ed  in  all  my  work.  Bleffed  be  God.  Returned 
home  with  more  health  than  I  went  out  with  ;  al- 
though my  linen  was  wringing  wet  upon  me,  from 
a  little  after  ten  in  the  morning,  until  pad  five  in 
the  afternoon.  My  fpirits  alfo  were  confiderably 
refrefhed  ;  and  my  foul  rejoiced  in  hope,  that  I  had 
through  grace  done  fomething  for  God.  In  the  even-* 
ing,  walked  out,  and  enjoyed  a  fv/eet  feafon  in  fe- 
cret  prayer  and  praife.  But  O,  I  found  the  truth  of 
the  Pfalmift's  words,  My  goodnefs  extendeih  not 
to  thee  !  I  could  not  make  any  returns  to  God  :  I 
longed  to  live  only  to  him,  and  to  be  in  tutie  for  his 
praife  and  fervice  forever.  O,  for  fpirituality  and 
holy  fervency,  that  I  might  Jperid  and  6e /pent  fox 
God,  to  my  lateft  moment ! 

Mofiday,  ^une  30.-^Spent  the  day  in  writing ;  but 
under  much  weaknefs  and  diforder.  Felt  the  la- 
bours of  the  preceding  day  j  although  my  fpirits 
were  fo  refrefhed  the  evening  before,  that  1  was  not 
then  fenfible  of  my  being  fpent. 

Tuefduy,  July  I. — In  the  afternoon  vifited  and 
preached  to  my  people,  from  Heb.  ix.  27.  on  occa- 
fion  of  fome  perfons'  lying  at  the  point  of  death,  in 
my  congregation.  God  gave  me  fome  afTiftance  ; 
and  his  word  made  fome  imprefTions  on  the  audi- 
ence, in  general.  This  was  an  agreeable  and  com- 
fortable evening  to  my  foul :  My  fpirits  were  fome- 
what  refreflied  with  a  fmall  degree  of  freedom  and 
help  enjoyed  in  my  work. 


^xts  myu^E  LIFE  OF 

[On  Wednefcf^y  he  went  to  Newark,  to  a  meeting 
of  the  Prefbytcry  :  Complains  of  lownefs  of  fpirits ; 
and  greatly  laments  his  fpending  his  time  fo  unfruit- 
fiilly.  The  femjiining  part  of  the  week  he  fpent 
there,  and  at  Elizabeth-Town  ,•  and  fpeaks  of  com- 
fort and  divine  affiftance  from  day  to  day  :  But  yet 
greatly  complains  for  want  of  more  fpiritualityj 

Lonfs  Day,  'July  6."^[At  Elizabeth-Town.]  En- 
joyed fome  compbfure  and  ferenity  of  mind,  in  the 
morning  :  Heard  Mr.  Dickinfon  preach  in  the  fore- 
noon, and  was  refrelhed  with  his  difcourfe  ;  was  in  a 
melting  frame,  fome  part  of  the  time  of  fermon  : 
Partook  of  the  Lord*s  flipper,  and  enjoyed  fome 
fenfe  of  divine  things  in  that  ordinance.  In  the  af- 
ternoon I  preached  from  Ezek.  xxxiii.  \i.  As  I  live, 
faith  the  Lord  God,  &c.  God  favoured  me  with  free- 
dom and  fervency  ;  and  helped  me  to  plead  his 
caufe,  beyond  my  own  povi^er* 

Monday,  'July  7. — My  fpirits  were  confiderably 
refrefhed  and  railed,  in  the  morning.  There  is  no 
comfort,  I  find,  in  any  enjoyment,  without  enjoying 
God,  and  being  engaged  in  his  fervice.  In  the  even- 
ing had  the  moft  agreeable  converfation  that  ever  I 
remember  in  all  my  life,  upon  God*s  being  all  in  all, 
and  all  enjoyments  being  jufl  that  to  us  which  God 
makes  them,  and  no  more.  It  is  good  to  begin  and 
end  with  God.  O,  how  does  a  fweet  folemnity  lay 
a  foundation  for  true  pleafure  and  happincfs  ! 

Tucfday,  July  8. — Rode  home,  and  enjoyed  fome 
agreeable  meditations  by  the  way. 

'  Wednefday ,  July  9. — Spent  the  day  in  writing.  En- 
pyed  fome  comfort  and  rcf  relliment  of  Ipirit  in  my 
evening  retirement. 

Thinjdiiy,  July  10. — Spent  moft  of  the  day  in 
writing.  Towards  night  rode  to  Mr.  Tennent's  ; 
enjoyed  fome  agreeable  converfation  :  Went  home 
ill  the  evenipg,  in  a  folemn  fweet  frame  of  mind  ; 

.  was 


Mr.    D  AVIPBRAINERD.      t^^ 

was  refrefhed  in  fecret/duties,  longed  to  live  wholly 
and  only  for  God,  and  iaw  plainly  there  was  nothing 
in  the  world  worthy  of  my  afFedtion  ;  fo  that  my 
heart  was  dead  to  all  below  ;  yet  not  through  dejec- 
tion asatfome  times,  but  from  views  of  a  better 
inheritance. 

Friday,  'July  1 1 . — -Was  in  a  calm  compofed  frame 
in  the  morning,  efpecially  in  the  feafon  of  my  fccrct 
retirement :  I  think  I  was  well  pleafed  with  the  will 
of  God,  whatever  it  was,  or  fhould  be,  in  all  refped:s 
I  had  then  any  thought  of.  Intending  to  adminifter 
the  Lord's  fupper  the  next  Lord's  Day,  1  looked  to 
God  for  his  prefence  and  afiiftance  upon  that  occa- 
iion  ;  but  felt  a  difpofition  \to  fay,  ^he  will  df'ihs 
Lord  be  ^(jz/^",  whether  it  be  to  give'me  affiftanceot 
not.  Spent  fomc  little  time  in  writing  :  Vifited  the 
Indians,  and  fpent  fom'etime  in  ferious  converfation 
with  them  ;  thinking  it  not  beft  td  pleach,  by  rea- 
fon  that  many  of  them  were  ahfcnt.!    •"  '  - 

Saturday,  'July  i2.-^This  day  was  fpent  in  fafl:rn=g 
and  prayer  by  my  congregation,  as 'preparatory  to 
the  facrament.  I  difcourfed^  both  parts  of  the  day, 
from  Rom.  iv.  25.  Who  zva^^  delivered  for  our  offences, 
See.  God  gave  me  fome  aiTiftance  in  my  difcourfes, 
and  fomcthing  of  divine  power  attended  the  word  ; 
fo  that  this  was  an  agreeable  feafon.  Afterwards 
led  them  to  a  folemn  renewal  of  their  covenant,  and 
frefli  dedication  of  themfelves  to  God.  This  Wa.^  a 
feafon  both  of  folemnity  and  fvveetnefs,  and  God 
feem.cd  to  be  i?j  the  midji  of  us.  Returned  to  my 
lodgings,  in  the  evening,  in  a  comfortable  frame  of 
mind. 

hordes  Day,  July  13. — In  the  forenoon  difcourfcd 
on  the  bread  of  life,  from  John  vi.  "^^^  God  gave  me 
fome  afTifhncc,  in  part  of  my  difcourfe  efpecially  ; 
and  there  appeared  fome  tender  affection  in  tlie  af- 
fembly  under  divine  truths ;  my  foul  alfo  was  feme*. 

P  3  what 


230  TheLIFEof 

what  refrefhed.  Adminiftered  the  facrament  of  tha 
Lord's  fupper  to  thirty  one  perfons  of  the  Indians. 
God  feemed  to  be  prefent  in  this  ordinance ;  the 
communicants  were  fweetly  mehed  and  refrefhed, 
mofl  of  them.  O,  how  they  melted,  even  when  the 
elements  were  firfl:  uncovered  !  There  wasfcarcely  a 
dry  eye  amongft  them,  when  1  took  off  the  linen, 
and  fhewed  them  the  fymbols  of  Chrijl's  broken  body. 
Having  refted  a  little,  after  theadminiftration  of  the 
facrament,  I  viiited  the  communicants,  and  found 
them  generally  in  a  fweet  loving  frame  ;  not  unlike 
what  appeared  among  them  on  the  former  facra- 
mental  occafion,  on  April  27.  In  the  afternoon 
difcourfed  upon  coming  to  Chriji,  and  the  fand:ifica- 
tion  of  thofe  who  do  {Oy  from  the  fame  vcrfe  1  in-. 
ilfted  on  in  the  forenoon.  This  was  likewife  an 
agreeable  feafon,  a  feafonofmuch  tendernefs,  af- 
fection ^nd  enlargement  in  divine  fervice  :  And 
God,  I  am  perfu^ded,  crowned  our  affembly  with 
his  divipe  prefence.  I  returned  home  much  fpent, 
yet  rejoicing  in  the  goodnefs  of  God. 

Mondciy^  'July  14. — Went  to  my  people  and  dif- 
courfed to  them  from  Pfal.  cxix.  106.  I  have /worn 
and  I  will  perform  it,  &c.  Obferved,  i .  That  all  God*s 
judgments  or  commandments  are  righteous.  2.  That 
God's  people  have  fworn  to  keep  them  ;  and  this 
theydoefpecially  at  the  Lord's  table.  There  appeared 
to  be  a  powerful  divine  influence  on  the  affembly,  and 
fzonfiderable  melting  under  the  word.  Afterwards, 
I  led  them  to  a  renewal  of  their  covenant  before  God 
(that  they  would  watch  over  themfelves  and  one 
another,  left  they  fhould  fall  into  fin,  and  difhonour 
the  name  of  Chrift)  juft  as  I  did  on  Monday,  April 
28.  This  tranfadtion  was  attended  with  great  fo, 
lemnity  :  And  God  feemed  to  own  it  by  exciting  in 
them  a  fear  and  jealoufy  of  themfelves,  left  they 
Ihould  fin  againft  God  ;  {o  that  the  prefence  of  Go4 

feemed 


Mr.   DA^VID    BR  AI  nerd.      231 

feemed  to  be  amongft  us  in  this  concluiion  of  the  fa- 
cramental  folcmnity. 

[The  next  day  he  fet  out  on  a  journey  towards 
Philadelphia  ;  from  whence  he  did  not  return  until 
Saturday.  He  v/ent  this  journey,  and  (pent  the 
week,  under  a  great  degree  of  illnefs  of  body,  and 
dejedlionof  mind.] 

Lord's  Day,  July  20. — Preached  twice  to  my  peo- 
ple from  John  xvii.  24.  Father,  I  will  that  they  alfo 
whom  thou  haft  given  me,  be  with  me,  where  I  am,  that 
they  may  behold  my  glory,  which  thou  hajl  given  me. 
Was  helped  to  difcourfe  with  great  clearnefs  and 
plainnefs  in  the  forenoon.  In  the  afternoon,  enjoy- 
ed fome  tendernefs,  and  fpake  with  fome  influence. 
Divers  were  in  tears  ;  and  fome,  to  appearance,  in 
diftrefs. 

Monday,  July  2i . — Preached  to  the  Indians,  chief- 
ly for  the  fake  of  fome  ftrangers.  Then  propofed 
my  defign  of  taking  a  journey  fpeedily  to  Sufque- 
hannah  :  Exhorted  my  people  to  pray  for  me,  that 
God  would  be  with  me  in  that  journey,  6cc.  Then 
chofe  divers  perfons  of  the  congregation  to  travel 
with  me.  Afterwards,  fpent  time  in  dilcourfing  to 
the  ftrangers,  and  was  fome  what  encouraged  with 
them.  Took  care  of  my  people's  Iccular  bulinefs, 
and  was  not  a  little  exercifed  with  it.  Had  fome 
degree  of  com pofu re  and  comfort  in  fecret  retirement. 

Tuefday,  July  27,. — Was  in  a  dejetled  frame,  moft 
of  the  day  :  Wanted  to  wear  out  life  and  have  it  at 
an  end  ;  but  had  fome  deiires  of  living  to  God,  and 
wearing  out  life  for  him.  O  that  1  could  indeed 
do  fo  ! 

[The  next  day  he  went  to  Elizabeth-Town,  to  a 
meeting  of  the  Prefbytery.] 

Lord's  Day,  July  27. — Difcourfed  to  my  people, 
in  the  forenoon,  trom  Luke  xii.  37.  on  the  duty  and 
benefit  of  watching.      God  helped  me  in  the  latter 

P  4  part 


2^z  The    LIFE    OF 

part  of  my  difcourfe,  and  the  power  of  God  appear* 
ed  in  the  afTembly.  In  the  afternoon,  difcourfed 
from  Luke  xiii.  25.  Here  alfo  I  enjoyed  feme  af- 
liftance,  and  the  Spirit  of  God  feemed  to  attend  what 
wasfpoken,  fo  that  there  was  a  great  folemnity,  and 
Conrie  tears  among  Indians  and  others. 

Monday,  Ju/y  28. — Was  very  Weak,  and  fcarce 
able  to  perform  any  biiflnefs' at  alj  j  but  enjoyed 
fweetnefs  and  comfort  in  prayer,  both  morning  and 
evening ;  and  was  compofed  and  comfortable  through 
the  day.  My  mind  was  intenfe,  and  my  heart  fer- 
vent, at  leaft  in  fome  degree,  in  fecret  duties ;  and  I 
longed  to  fpend  and  be /pent  for  God. 

Tuefday,  ^uly  29. — My  mind  was  cheerful,  and 
free  from  thofe  melancholy  damJDS,  that  I  am  often 
exercifed  with  :  Had  freedom  in  looking  up  to  God, 
at  fundry  times  in  the  day.  In  the  evening  I  enjoy- 
ed a  comfortable  feafon  in  fecret  prayer ;  was  help- 
ed to  plead  with  God  for  my  own  dear  people,  that 
he  would  carry  on  his  own  blefled  work  among 
them  j  was  aflifted  alfo  in  praying  for  the  divine 
prefence  to  attend  me  in  my  intended  journey  to 
Sufquehannah  ;  was  alfo  helped  to  remember  dear 
brethren  and  friends  in  New-England  ;  fcarce  knew 
how  to  leave  the  throne  of  grace,  and  it  grieved  me 
that  I  was  obliged  to  go  to  bed  ;  I  longed  to  ^,0 
fomething  for  God,  but  knew  not  how.  Biefled  be 
God  for  this  freedom  from  dejedtion. 

Wednefday,  'July  30. — Was  uncommonly  comforta- 
ble, both  in  body  and  mind  ;  in  the  forenoon  efpe- 
cially  :  My  mind  was  folemn,  I  was  affiftcd  in  my 
work,  and  God  feemed  to  be  near  to  me ;  fo  that 
the  day  was  as  comfortable  as  mcfl  I  have  enjoyed 
for  fome  time.  In  the  evening  was  favoured  with 
affiftance  in  fecret  prayer,  and  felt  muchwis  I  did  the 
evening  before.  BlelTed  be  God  for  that  freedom 
I   then  enjoyed  at  the  throne   cf  grace,  for  my-- 

felf, 


Mr.    DAVID   BRAINiERD.      53^ 

felf,  my  people,  and  my  dear  friends.     //  is  good  for 
me  to  draw  near  to  God. 

[He  Teems  to  have  continued  very  .much  in  the 
fame  free,  comfortable  ftate  of  mind  the  next  day.]  • 

Friday^  Avguft  i . — In  the  evening  enjoyed  a  fweet 
feafon  in  lecret  prayer  ;  clouds  of  darkncfs  ,and  per- 
plexing care  were  Ivveetly  fcattered,. -and  rnothing 
anxious  remained.  O,  how  ferene  was  my  mind  at 
this  feafon  !  How  free  from  that  dJAradiing  con- 
cern I  have  often  felt !  T^hy  will  he  d&3i;/^,-,was  a  peti- 
tion fweet  to  my  foul  ;  and  if  God  had  bidden  me 
choofe  for  myfelf  in  any  affair,  I  Uxould  have  chofen 
rather  to  have  referred  the  choice  to  him  ;  for  1  faw 
he  was  infinitely  wife,  and  could  not  do  any  thing 
amifs,  as  I  was  in  danger  of  doing.  Was  affifted 
in  prayer,  for  my  dear  llock^  that  God  would  pro- 
mote his  own  work  among  them,  aivl  that  God 
would  go  with  me  in  my  intended  journey  to  Suf- 
quehannah  ;  was  helped  to  remember  dear  friends 
in  New-England,  and  my  dear  brethren  in  the  min- 
istry. I  found  enough  in  the  fweet  duty  of  prayer 
to  have  engaged  me  to  continue  in  it  the  whole  night, 
would  my  bodily  ftate  have  admitted  of  it.  O  how 
fweet  it  is,  to  be  enabled  heartily  to  fay,  Lord^  not 
my  willy  but  thine  be  done  ! 

Saturday t  Augufi  2. — Near  night  preached  from 
Matth.  xi.  29.  Was  confiderably  helped  ;  and  the 
prefence  of  God  feemed  to  be  fomewhat  rertiarkably 
in  the  aflembly  j  divine  truths  made  powerful  im- 
preffions,  both  upon  flints  and  fmners.  Blefled  be 
God  for  fuch  a  revival  among  us.  In  the  evening 
was  very  weary,  but  found  my  fpirits  fupported  and 
refrefhed. 

hordes  Day,  Augufi  3. — Difcourfed  to  my  people, 
in  the  forenoon,  from  ColoiT.  iii.  4.  Oblerved  that 
Chrift  is  the  believer's  life.  God  helped  me  and 
gave  me  his  prefence   in  this  diibourfe  ;  and  it  was 

a 


«34  The    LIFE    of 

a  feafon  of  confiderable  power  in  the  aflembly.  In 
the  afternoon  preached  from  Luke  xix.  41 .  4:2.  I 
enjoyed  fome  afliflance  j  though  not  fo  much  as  in 
the  forenoon. 

Monday y  Augujl  4. — Spent  the  day  in  writing  ; 
enjoyed  much  freedom  and  affiftance  in  my  work  : 
Was  in  a  compofed  and  comfortable  frame,  moft  of 
the  day  j  and  in  the  evening  enjoyed  fome  fweetnefs 
in  prayer.  BlefTed  be  God,  my  fpirits  were  yet  up, 
and  I  was  free  from  finking  damps  ;  as  I  have  been 
in  general  ever  fince  I  came  from  Elizabeth-Town 
laft.     O  what  a  mercy  is  this  1 

Tuefday^  Augujl  5. — Towards  night,  preached  at 
the  funeral  of  one  of  my  chriftians,  from  Ifai.  Ivii. 
a.  Was  opprefTed  with  the  nervous  headach,  and 
confiderably  deje(fted  :  However,  had  a  little  free- 
dom, fome  part  of  the  time  I  was  difcourfing.  Was 
extremely  weary  in  the  evening  ;  but  notwithftand- 
ing  enjoyed  fome  liberty  and  cheerfulnefs  of  mind 
in  prayer  ;  and  found  the  dejed:ion  that  I  feared, 
much  removed,  and  my  fpirits  confiderably  re- 
frefhed. 

[He  continued  in  a  very  comfortable  cheerful 
frame  of  mind  the  next  day,  with  his  heart  enlarg- 
ed in  the  fervice  of  God.] 

Thurfdayy  Augujl  7. — Rode  to  my  houfe,  where  I 
fpent  the  laft  winter,  in  order  to  bring  fome  things 
I  needed  for  my  Sufquehannah  journey  :  Was  re- 
frefhed  to  fee  that  place,  which  God  fo  marvellouf- 
ly  vifited  with  the  Ihowers  of  his  grace.  O  how 
amazingly  did  the  power  of  God  often  appear  there  ! 
Blefsthe  Lordy  O  myjouly  and  Jorge  t  not  alibis  benefits, 

[The  next  day,  he  fpeaks  of  liberty,  enlarge- 
ment, and  fweetnefs  of  mind,  in  prayer  and  relig- 
ious converfation.] 

Saturday y  Augujl  9. — In  the  afternoon,  vifited  my 
people  ;  fet  their  affairs  in  order,  as  much  as  polli- 

ble, 


Mr.   DAVID    BRA  INERD.      23^ 

ble,  and  contrived  for  them  the  management  of  their 
worldly  bufinefs  :  Difcourfed  to  them  in  a  folemn 
manner,  and  concluded  with  prayer.  Was  compof- 
ed,  and  comfortable  in  the  evening,  and  fomewhat 
fervent  in  fecret  prayer  :  Had  fome  fenfe  and  view 
of  the  eternal  world,  and  found  a  ferenity  of  mind. 

0  that  I  could  magnify  the  Lord  for  any  freedom  ho 
affords  me  in  prayer. 

Lord's  Dayy  Auguft  10. — Difcourfed  to  my  peo- 
ple, both  parts  of  the  day,  from  Adts  iii.  19.  In 
difcourfing  of  repentance,  in  the  forenoon,  God 
helped  me,  fo  that  my  difcourfe  was  fearching.  Some 
were  in  tears,  both  of  the  Indians  and  white  people  i 
and  the  word  of  God  was  attended  with  fome  pow- 
er. In  theintermiffion  feafon,  I  was  engaged  in  dif- 
courfing  to  fome  in  order  to  their  baptifm  ;  as  well 
as  with  one  who  had  then  lately  met  with  fome  com- 
fort, after  fpiritual  trouble  and  diflrcfs.  In  the  af- 
ternoon, was  fomewhat  affifted  again,  though  weak 
and  weary.  Afterwards  baptized  fix  perfons  ;  three 
adults,  and  three  children.  Was  in  a  comfortable 
frame  in  the  evening,  and  enjoyed  fome  fatisfa(5lion 
in  fecret  prayer.  I  fcarce  ever  in  my  life  felt  my- 
felf  fo  full  of  tendernefs,  as  this  day. 

Monday,  Auguji  1 1  .—Being  about  to  fet  out  on  a 
journey  to  Sufquehannah  the  next  day,  with  leave 
of  Providence,  I  fpent  fome  time  this  day  in  prayer 
with  my  people,  that  God  would  blefs  and  fucceed 
my  intended  journey,  that  he  would  fend  forth  his 
bleffed  Spirit  with  his  word,  and  fet  up  his  kingdom 
among  the  poor  Indians  in  the  wildernefs.     While 

1  was  opening  and  applying  part  of  the  cxth  and  iid 
Pfalms,  the  power  cf  God  feemed  to  defcend  on  the 
affemblyin  fome  meafurej  and  while  I  was  making 
the  firfl  prayer,  numbers  were  melted,  and  I  found 
fome  affedtionate  enlargement  of  foul  myfelf. 
Preached  from  4ds  iv.  31.     God  helped  me,  and 

my 


^3^  T  H  E  .L.  IlFvEi  "^  ^ 

my  interpreter  alfo  :  There  ^H^asi'fhaking  and  melt- 
ing among  us;  and  divers,  I  doubt  not, were  in 
feme  meafui'c  filled  with  the  Holy  Ghoji.  After- 
wards, Mr.  M 'Knight  prayed  :  1  then  opened  the 
two  laft  flanzas  of  the  Ixxiid.  Pfal.  at  which  time 
God  was  prefent  with  us  ;  efpecially  while  I  infift- 
edupon  the  promife  of  all  nations*  bleffing  the  great 
Redeemer  :  My  foul  was  refrefhed,  to  think,  that 
this  day,  this  bleiTed  glorious  feafon,  fhouid  fufely 
come  j  and  I  truft,  numbers  of  my  dear  people  were 
alfo  refrefhed.  Afterwards  prayed;  bad  fome  free- 
dom, but  was  almofb  fpent :  Then  walked  out,  and 
left  my  people  to  carry  on  religious  exercifes  among 
themfelves  :  They  prayed  repeatedly,  and  fung, 
while  I  refted  and  refrefhed  myfelf.  Afterwards, 
went  to  the  meeting  ;  prayed  with,  and  difmifTed 
the  affembly. 

[The  next  day  he  fet  out  on  his  journey  towards 
Sufquehannah,  and  fix  of  his  chriflian  Indians  with 
him,  whom  hehadchofen  out  of  his  congregation,  as 
thofe  that  he  judged  mofl  fit  to  aflill:  him  in  the  bul- 
inefs  he  was  going  upon.  He  took  his  way  through 
Philadelphia;  intending  to  go  to  Sufquehannah  riv- 
er, far  down  along,  where  it  is  fettled  by  the  white 
people,  below  the  country  inhabited  by  the  Indians ; 
and  fo  to  travel  up  the  river  to  the  Indian  habita- 
tions :  For  although  this  was  much  further  about, 
yet  hereby  he  avoided  the  huge  mountains,  and  hid- 
eous wildernefs,  that  muil  be  crofTed  in  the  nearer 
way  ;  which  in  time  paft  he  had  found  to  be  ex- 
tremely difiieult  and  fatiguing.  He  rode  this  week 
as  far  as  Charleflown,  a  place  of  that  name  about 
thirty  miles  weflvvard  of  Philadelphia  ;  where  he 
arrived  on  Friday  :  And  in  his  way  hither,  was  for  the 
moft  part  in  a  compofed  comfortable  flate  of  mind.] 

Saturday^  Aiiguji  i6. — [At  Charleflown.]     It  be- 
ing a  day  kept  by  the  people  of  the  place  where  I 

now 


Mr.   DAVID    B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.       ^37 

now  was,  as  prepanitory  to  the  celebration  of  the 
Lord's  flipper,  I  tarried  ;  heard  Mr.  Treat  preach  5 
and  then  preached  myfelf.  God  gave  me  fomegood! 
degree  of  freedom,  and  helped  me  to  difcourfe  with^ 
warmth  and  application  to  the  confcience.  After- 
wards, I  was  refrelhed  in  fpirit,  though  much  tired  ; 
and  fpent  the  evening  agreeably,  having  fome  free- 
dom in  prayer,  as  well  as  chriftian  converfation. 

Lord's  DaVy  Augiifi  17. — Enjoyed  liberty,  com- 
pofure,  and  fatisfadion,  in  the  fecret  duties  of  the 
morning  ;  Had  my  heart  fomewhat  enlarged  in 
prayer  for  dear  friends,  as  w^il  as  for  myfelf.  In 
the  forenoon,  attended  Mr.  Treat's  preaching,  par- 
took of  the  Lord's  fupper,  five  of  my  people  alfo 
communicating  in  this  holy  ordinance  :  I  enjoyed 
fome  enlargement  and  outgoing  of  foul  in  this  feafon* 
•In  the  afternoon,  preached  from  Ezck.  xxxiii.  11. 
Enjoyed  not  fo  much  i'enfible  affiifance  as  the  day 
before ;  however,  was  helped  to  fome  fervency  in 
ad dreffing  immortal  fouls. 

Monday^  At/gufl  rS.—Rode  on  my  way  towards 
Paxton,  upon  Sufquehannah  river.  Felt  my  fpirits 
fink,  towards  night,  fo  that  I  had  little  comfort. 

Tifefday,  Aiigujt  19. — Rode  forward  flill  ;  and  at 
night  lodged  by  the  fide  of  Sufquehannah.  Was 
weak  and  difordered,  both  this  and  the  preceding 
day,  and  found  my  fpirits  confiderably  damped; 
meeting  with  none  that  I  thought  godly  people. 

JVednefdayy  Augnjl  20. — Having  lain  in  a  cold  fweat 
all  night,  I  coughed  much  bloody  matter  this  morn- 
ing, and  was  under  great  diforder  of  body,  and  iir>t 
a  little  melancholy  ;  but  Vv'hat  gave  me  ibme  encour- 
agement, was,  I  had  a  fecret  hope  that  I  might 
fpeedily  get  a  difmiffion  from  earth  and  all  its  toih 
and  forrows.  Rode  this  day  to  one  Chambers's  up'^^ 
on  Sufquehannah,  and  there  lodged.  Was  much  af- 
flicted in  the  evening,  with  an  ungodly  crew,  drink- 

ino-, 


238  TheLIFEof 

ing,  fwcaring,  &c.  O,  what  a  hell  it  would  be,  to 
be  numbered  with  the  ungodly  !  Enjoyed  fome  agree- 
able converfation  with  a  traveller,  who  feemed  to 
have  Ibme  relifh  of  true  religion. 

Thurfday^  Augujl  21 . — Rode  up  the  river  about  fif- 
teen miles,  and  there  lodged,  in  a  family  that  ap- 
peared quite  deftituteof  God.  Laboured  to  difcourfe 
with  the  man  about  the  life  of  religion,  but  found 
him  very  artful  in  evading  fuch  converfation.  O, 
what  a  death  it  is  to  fome,  to  hear  of  the  things  of 
God  !  Was  out  of  my  element  j  but  was  not  fo  de- 
je(5led  as  at  fome  times. 

Friday^  Augujl  21. — Continued  my  courfe  up  the 
river  ;  my  people  now  being  with  me,  who  before 
were  parted  from  me  :  Travelled  above  all  the  En- 
glifli  fcttlements  ;  at  night,  lodged  in  the  open 
woods  j  and  flept  with  more  comfort,  than  while 
among  an  ungodly  company  of  white  people.  En- 
joyed fome  liberty  in  fecret  prayer,  this  evening  ; 
and  was  helped  to  remember  dear  friends,  as  well  as 
my  dear  flock,  and  the  church  of  God  in  general. 

Saturday,  Augujl  23. — Arrived  at  the  Indian  town, 
called  Shaumoking,  near  night.  Was  not  fo  deject- 
ed as  formerly  ;  but  yet  fomewhat  exercifed.  Felt 
fomewhat  compofed  in  the  evening  ;  enjoyed  fome 
freedom  in  leaving  my  all  with  God  :  Through  the 
great  goodnefs  of  God,  I  enjoyed  fome  liberty  of 
mind  ;  was  not  diftreffed  with  a  defpondency,  as 
frequently  heretofore. 

hordes  Day,  Augujl  24. — Towards  noon  vifite.d 
fome  of  the  Delawares,  and  difcourfed  with  them 
about  chriflianity.  hi  the  afternoon,  difcourfed  to 
the  king,  and  others,  upon  divine  things;  who  feem- 
ed difpofed  to  hear.  Spent  moft  of  the  day  in  thefe 
exercifes.  In  the  evening,  enjoyed  fome  comfort 
and  fatisfadlion  ;  and  efpecially  had  fome  fweetnefs 
in  fecret  prayer  :  This  duty  was  made  fo  agreeable 

to 


Mr.   DAVID  BRAINERD.      ^39 

to  me,  that  I  loved  to  walk  abroad  and  repeatedly  en- 
gage in  it.  O,  how  comfortable  is  a  little  glimpfe 
of  God  1 

Monday  J  Augujl  25.— Spent  moft  of  the  day  in 
writing.  Sent  out  my  people  that  were  with  me, 
to  talk  with  the  Indians,  and  contrad  a  friendfliip^ 
and  familiarity  with  them,  that  I  might  have  a  bet- 
ter opportunity  of  treating  with  them  about  chrif- 
tianity.  Some  good  feemed  to  be  done  by  their  vif- 
its  this  day ;  divers  appeared  willing  to  hearkeh  to 
chriftianity.  My  fpirits  were  a  little  refreflied,  this 
evening  ;  and  I  found  fome  liberty  and  fatisfa<5tion 
in  prayer. 

Tuefday,  Augujl  26. — About  noon,  difcourfed  to  a 
confiderable  number  of  Indians  :  God  helped  me,  I 
am  perfuaded  :  I  was  enabled  to  fpeak  with  much 
plainnefs,  and  fome  warmth  and  power.  The  dif- 
courfe  had  imprcffion  upon  fome,  and  made  them 
appear  very  ferious.  I  thought,  things  now  appear- 
ed as  encouraging  as  they  did  at  Crofweekfung,  at 
the  time  of  my  firft  vifit  to  thofe  Indians.  I  was  a 
little  encouraged  :  I  prefTed  things  with  all  my 
might ;  and  called  out  my  people  who  were  then 
prefent,  to  give  in  their  teflimony  for  God  ;  which 
they  did.  Towards  night,  was  refrefhed  ;  felt  a 
heart  to  pray  for  the  fetting  up  of  God's  kingdom 
here  ;  as  well  as  for  my  dear  congregation  below, 
and  my  dear  friends  elfewhere. 

Thurfday^  Auguji  28. -^In  the  forenoon,  was  un- 
der great  concern  of  mind  about  my  work.  Was 
vifited  by  fome  who  defired  to  hear  me  preach  ;  dif- 
courfed to  them,  in  the  afternoon,  with  fome  ferven- 
cy, and  laboured  to  perfuade  them  to  turn  to  God. 
Was  full  of  concern  for  the  kingdom  of  Chrift,  and 
found  fome  enlargement  of  foul  in  prayer,  both  in 
fecret  and  in  my  family.  Scarcely  ever  faw  more 
clearly,  than  this  day,  that  it  is  God*s  work  to  con- 

VCa-C 


iZ40  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

vert  fouls,  and  efpecially  poor  heathens  :  I  knew,  1 
could  not  touch  them  ;  I  f'avv,  I  could  only  fpeak  to 
dry  bories^  but  could  give  them  no  fenfe  of  what  I 
faid.  My  eyes  were  up  to  God  for  help  ;  I  could 
fay,  the  work  was  his ;  and  if  done,  the  glory  would 
be  his. 

Saturday^  Augujl  30. — Spent  the  forenoon  in  vifit- 
ing  a  trader,  that  came  down  the  river  fick  ;  who 
appeared  as  ignorant  as  any  Indian.  In  the  after- 
noon, fpent  fome  time  in  writing,  reading,  and 
prayer. 

Lord's  Day,  Augujl '^i. — Spent  much  time,  in  the 
morning,  in  fecret  duties  :  Found  a  weight  upon 
my  fpirit,  and  could  not  but  cry  to  God  with  con- 
cern and  engagement  of  foul.  Spent  fome  time  alfo 
in  reading  and  expounding  God's  word  to  my  dear 
family,  that  was  with  mc,  as  well  as  in  finging  and 
prayer  with  them.  Afterwards,  fpake  the  word  of 
God  to  fome  few  of  the  Sufquehannah  Indians.  In 
the  afternoon,  felt  very  weak  and  feeble.  Near 
night,  was  fbmething  refrefhed  in  mind,  with  fome 
views  of  things  relating  to  my  great  work.  O,  how 
heavy  is  my  work,  when  faith  cannot  take  hold  of 
an  almighty  arm,  for  the  performance  of  it  !  Ma- 
ny times  have  I  been  ready  to  fink  in  this>  cafe. 
BlefTed  be  God,*  that  I  may  repair  to  a  full  fountain. 

Mo)%day,  September  i  .—Set  out  on  a  journey  to- 
wards a  place  called  the  Great-Ifland,  about  fifty 
miles  diflant  from  Shaumoking,  in  the  northweflern 
branch  of  Sufquehannah.  Travelled  fome  part  of 
the  way,  and  at  night  lodged  in  the  woods.  Was 
exceeding  feeble,  this  day,  and  fweat  much  the  night 
following. 

Tuefday,  September  1. — Rode  forward  ;  but  no  faft- 
er  than  my  people  went  on  foot.  Was  very  weak, 
on  this,  as  well  as  the  preceding  days  :  Was  {o  fee- 
ble and  faint,  that  I  feared  it  would  Jcill  me  to  lie  . 

out 


I 


Mr.    DAVID  BR  AI  NERD.      241 

out  in  the  open  air  ;  and  fome  of  our  company  be- 
ing parted  from  us,  fo  that  we  had  now  no  axe  with 
us,  I  had  no  way  but  to  climb  into  a  young  pine 
tree,  and  with  my  knife  to  lop  the  branches,  and  fo 
made  a  (belter  from  the  dew.  But  the  evening  be- 
ing cloudy  and  very  likely  for  rain,  I  was  ilill  un- 
der fears  of  being  extremely  expofed  :  Sweat  much 
in  the  night,  fo  that  my  linen  was  almoft  wringing 
wet  all  night.  I  fcarce  ever  was  more  weak  and 
weary,  than  this  evening,  when  I  was  able  to  fit  up 
at  all.  This  was  a  melancholy  fituation  I  was  in  ; 
but  I  endeavoured  to  quiet  myfelf  with  confidera- 
tions  of  the  poflibility  of  my  being  in  much  worfe 
circumftances  amongft  enemies,  &c. 

Wednejdayy  September'^. — Rode  to  the  Delaware- 
Town  ;  found  divers  drinking  and  drunken.  Dif- 
courfed  with  fome  of  the  Indians  about  chriftianity  ; 
obferved  my  interpreter  much  engaged  and  affifted 
in  his  work  :  Some  few  perlbns  feemed  to  hear  with 
great  earneftnefs  and  engagement  of  foul.  About 
noon,  rode  to  a  fmall  town  of  Shauwaunoes,  about 
eight  miles  diftant  ;  fpent  an  hour  or  two  there,  and 
returned  to  the  Delaware-Town,  and  lodged  there. 
Was  fcarce  ever  more  confounded  with  a  ienfe  of  my 
own  unfruitfulnefs,  and  unfitnefs  for  my  work,  than 
now.  O,  what  a  dead,  heartlcfs,  barren,  unprofita- 
ble wretch  did  I  now  fee  myfelf  to  be  I 

Thurfday^  September  ^. — Difcourfed  with  the  Iri- 
dians,  in  the  morning,  about  chriftianity  ;  my  inter- 
preter, afterwards,  carrying  on  the  difcourfe,  to  a 
confiderable  length  :  Some  few  appeared  well  dif- 
pofed,  and  fomewhat  afrc(5led.  Left  this  place,  and 
returned  towards  Shaumoking  ;  and  at  night  lodged 
in  the  place  where  I  lodged  the  Monday  night  be- 
fore :  Was  in  very  uncomfortable  circumftances  in 
the  evening,  my  people  being  belated,  and  not  com- 
''^i\  ^0  me  until  paft  ten  at  night  ;  fo  that  I  had  no 


24^  The     LIFE    of 

fire  to  drefs  any  viduals,  or  to  keep  me  warm,  of 
keep  off  wild  beafls  ;  and  I  was  fcarce  ever  more 
weak  and  worn  out  in  all  my  life.  However,  I  lay 
down  and  flept  before  my  people  came  up,  expect- 
ing nothing  elfe  but  to  fpend  the  whole  night  alone 
and  without  fire, 

Friday,  September  5. — Was  exceeding  weak,  fo 
that  I  could  fcarcely  ride  ;  it  feemed  fometimes  as 
if  I  mufl  fall  off  from  my  horfe,  and  lie  in  the  open 
woods:  However,  got  to  Shaumoking  towards  night: 
Felt  fomethingof  a  fpirit  of  thankfulnefs,  that  God 
had  fo  far  returned  me  :  Was  refrefhed,  to  fee  one  of 
my  chriflians,  whom  I  left  here  in  my  late  excurfion. 
Saturday y   September  6. — Spent  the  day  in  a  very 
weak  flate  ;  coughing  and  fpitting  blood,  and  hav- 
ing little  appetite  to  any  food  I  had  with  me  :  Was 
able  to  do  very  little,  except  difcourfe  a  while  of  di- 
vine things  to  my  own  people,  and  to  fome  few  I 
met  with.  Had, by  this  time, very  little  life  or  heart  to 
fpeak  for  God,  through  feeblenefs  of  body,  and  flat- 
nefs  of  fpirits. 

Lord*s  Day,  September  7. — Was  much  in  the  fame 
weak  ftate  of  body,  and  afflicted  frame  of  mind,  as 
in  the  preceding  day  :  My  foul  was  grieved,  and 
mourned,  that  I  could  do  nothing  for  God.  Read 
and  expounded  fome  part  of  God's  word  to  my  own 
dear  family,  and  fpent  fom.e  time  in  prayer  with 
them  ;  difcourfed  alfo  a  little  to  the  pagans  :  But 
fpent  the  Sabbath  with  little  comfort. 

Monday,  September  8. — Spent  the  forenoon  among 
the  Indians  ;  in  the  afternoon  left  Shaumoking,  and 
returned  down  the  river,  a  few  miles.  Had  propof- 
ed  to  have  tarried  a  confiderable  time  longer  among 
the  Indians  upon  Sufquehannah,  but  was  hindered 
from  purfuing  my  purpofe  by  the  ficknefs  that  pre- 
vailed there,  the  weakly  circumftances  of  my  own 
people  that  were  with  me,  and  efpecially  my  own 

extraordinary 


« 


Mr.   DAVID    BRAINERD.      243 

extraordinary  weaknefs,  having  been  exercifed  with 
great  nod:arnal  fweats,  and  a  coughing  up  of  blood* 
in  aim  oft  the  whole  of  the  journey  ;  and  was  a  great 
part  of  the  time  fo  feeble  and  faint,  that  it  feemed  as 
though  I  never  fhould  be  able  to  reach  home  ;  and 
at  the  fame  time  very  deftitute  of  the  comforts  and 
even  neceffaries  of  life  ;  at  leafl,  what  was  neceflary 
for  one  in  fo  weak  a  ftate. 

Tuefdayy  Septe?nber^. — Rode  down  the  river,  neat 
thirty  miles.  Was  extreme  weak,  much  fatigued, 
and  wet  with  a  thunder  ftorm.  Difcourfed  with 
fome  warmth  and  clofenefs  to  fome  poor  ignorant 
fouls,  on  the  life  and  power  of  religion  ;  what  were 
and  what  were  not  the  evidences  of  it.  They  feem- 
ed much  aftonifhed,  when  they  faw  my  Indians  alk 
a  blcfling  and  give  thanks  at  dinner  ;  concluding 
that  a  very  high  evidence  of  grace  in  them  :  But 
were  afloniflied,  when  I  infifted  that  neither  that, 
nor  yet  fecret  prayer,  was  any  fure  evidence  of 
grace.  O  the  ignorance  of  the  world !  How  are 
fome  empty  outward  forms,  that  may  all  be  en- 
tirely felfifli,  miftaken  for  true  religion,  infalli- 
ble evidences  of  it !  The  Lord  pity  a  deluded 
world. 

Thurfday^  September  \  i . — Rode  homeward  ;  but 
was  very  weak,  and  fometimes  fcarce  able  to  ride. 
Had  a  very  importunate  invitation  to  preach  at  a 
meeting  houfe  I  came  by,  the  people  being  then 
gathering ;  but  could  not  by  reafon  of  weaknefs. 
Was  religned  and  compofed  under  my  weaknefs  ; 
but  was  much  exercifed  with  concern  for  my  com- 
panions in  travel,  whom  I  had  left  with  much  regret, 
fome  lame,  and  fome  iick. 

Friday y  September  12, — Rode  about  fifty  miles  ; 
and  came  juft  at  night  to  a  chriftian  friend's  houfe, 
about  twenty  five  miles  weftward  from  Philadel- 
phia,    Was  courteoufly  received,  and  kindly  enter-* 

Qj5  tained, 


244  The    LiFE    of 

tained,  and  found  myfelf  much  refrefhed  in  the 
midfl:  of  my  weaknefs  and  fatigues. 

Saturday y  September  \^. — Was  flill agreeably  enter- 
tained with  chriftian  friendfliip,  and  all  things  nec- 
effary  for  my  weak  circumftances  :  In  the  afternoon 
heard  Mr.  Treat  preach  ;  and  was  refreflied  in  con- 
verfation  with  him,  in  the  evening. 

hordes  Day,  September  14. — At  the  defire  of  Mr. 
Treat  and  the  people,  I  preached  both  parts  of  the 
day,  but  fhort,  from  Luke  xiv.  23.  God  gave  me 
fome  freedom  and  warmth  in  my  difcourfe  ;  and  1 
truft,  helped  me  in  fome  meafure  to  labour  in  Jin- 
glenefs  of  heart.  Was  much  tired  in  the  evening, 
but  was  comforted  with  the  moft  tender  treatment  I 
ever  met  with  in  my  life.  My  mind  through  the 
whole  of  this  day  was  exceeding  calm  ;  and  I  could 
afk  for  nothing  in  prayer,  with  any  encouragement 
of  foul,  but  that  the  will  of  God  might  be  done. 

Monday,  September  15. — Spent  the  whole  day,  in 
concert  with  Mr.  Treat,  in  endeavours  to  compofe 
a  difference,  fubfifting  between  certain  perfons  in 
the  congregation  where  we  now  were  :  There  feem- 
ed  to  be  a  bleiling  on  our  endeavours.  In  the  even- 
ing, baptized  a  child :  Was  in  a  calm  compofed 
frame,  and  enjoyed,  I  truft,  a  fpiritual  fenfe  of  di- 
vine things,  while  adminiftering  the  ordinance.  Af- 
terwards, fpent  the  time  in  religious  converfation,. 
until  late  in  the  night.  This  was  indeed  a  pleafant 
agreeable  evening. 

Friday,  September  19. — Rode  from  Mr.  Treat's  to 
Mr.  Stockton's  at  Prince-Town  :  Was  extreme 
weak,  but  kindly  received  and  entertained.  Spent 
the  evening  with  fome  degree  of  fatisfadion. 

Saturday,  September  20. — Arrived  among  my  own 
people,  juft  at  night  :  Found  them  praying  togeth- 
er :  Went  in  and  gave  them  fome  account  of  God's 
dealings  with  me  and  my  companions  ixi  the  jous- 

ney  i 


Mr.   DAVID   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      245 

ney  ;  which  feemed  affecting  to  them.  I  then  pray- 
ed with  them,  and  thought  the  divine  prefence  was 
amongft  us  j  divers  were  mehed  into  tears,  and 
feemed  to  have  a  fenfe  of  divine  things.  Being  very 
weak,  I  was  obliged  foon  to  repair  to  my  lodgings, 
and  felt  much  worn  out  in  the  evening.  Thus  God 
has  carried  me  through  the  fatigu&s  and  perils  of  an- 
other journey  to  Sufquehannah,  and  returned  me 
again  in  fafety,  though  under  a  great  degree  of  bod- 
ily indifpoiition.  O  that  my  foul  were  truly  thank~ 
ful  for  renewed  inftances  of  mercy  !  Many  hard- 
fhips  and  diftreffes  I  endured  in  this  journey  :  But 
the  Lord  fupported  me  under  them  ail. 


(X.3  PART 


226  TheLIFEop 

PART      vir. 


After  his  Return  from  his  Iqjl  'Journey  to  Susque- 
HANNAH,  until  his  DzKTYi, 


LORD*s  DAY,  September  2t,  1746.--I  was  fo 
weak  I  could  not  preach,  nor  pretend  to  ride 
over  to  my  people  in  the  forenoon.  In  the  afternoon 
rode  out  j  fat  in  my  chair,  and  difcourfed  to  my 
people  from  Rom.  xiv.  7.  8.  I  was  ftrengthened 
and  helped  in  my  difcourfe  :  And  there  appeared 
fomething  agreeable  in  the  aflembly.  I  returned  to 
my  lodgings  extremely  tired  ;  but  thankful,  that  I 
had  been  enabled  to  fpeak  a  word  to  my  poor  people 
I  had  been  fo  long  abfent  from.  Was  able  to  deep 
very  little  this  night,  through  wearinefsand  pain.  O 
how  bleffed  fhould  I  be,  if  the  little  I  do  were  all 
done  with  right  views  !  O  that  whether  /  live  I  might 
live  to  the  Lord,  &c. 

Saturday,  September  27. — Spent  this  day,  as  well 
?is  the  whole  week  pad,  under  a  great  degree  of  bod- 
ily weaknefs,  exercifed  with  a  violent  cough,  and  a 
confiderable  fever  ;  had  no  appetite  to  any  kind  of 
food  ;  and  frequently  brought  up  what  I  eat,  as  foon 
is  it  was  down  ;  and  oftentimes  had  little  red  in  my 
bed,  by  reafon  of  pains  in  my  bread  and  back  :  Was 
able,  however,  to  ride  over  to  my  people,  about  two 
miles,  every  day,  and  take  fome  care  of  thofe  who 
•were  then  at  work  upon  a  fmall  houfe  for  me  to  re- 
fide  in  amongfl  the  Indians.  I  was  fometimes  fcarce 
able  to  walk,  and  never  able  to  fit  up  the  whole  day, 
through  the  week.  Was  calm  and  compofed,  and 
but  little  exercifed  with  melanrholy  damps,  as  in 

forme? 


Mr.  DA  VID   BRA  I  NERD.      247 

former  feafons  of  weaknefs.  Whether  I  fhould  ever 
recover,  or  no,  feemed  very  doubtful ;  but  this  was 
many  times  a  comfort  to  me,  that  life  and  death  did 
not  depend  upon  my  choice.  I  was  pleafed,  to  think 
that  he  who  is  infinitely  wife,  had  the  determination 
of  this  matter  ;  and  that  I  had  no  trouble,  to  confid- 
er  and  weigh  things  upon  all  fides,  in  order  to  make 
the  choice,  whether  I  would  live  or  die.  Thus  my 
time  was  confumed  ;  I  had  little  ftrcngth  to  pray, 
none  to  write  or  read,  and  fcarce  any  to  meditate  : 
But  through  divine  goodnefs,  I  could  with  great 
compofure  look  death  in  the  face,  and  frequently 
with  fenfible  joy.  O,  how  bleffed  it  is,  to  be  habit- 
ually prepared  for  death  !  The  Lord  grant,  that  I 
maybe  actually  ready  alfo. 

Lord*s  Dayy  Septejnbcr  28. — Rode  to  my  people, 
and,  though  under  much  weaknefs,  attempted  to 
preach,  from  2  Cor.  xiii.  5.  Difcourfed  about  half 
an  hour ;  at  which  feafon  divine  power  feemed  to  at- 
tend the  word  :  But  being  extreme  weak,  I  was 
obliged  to  defift  j  and  after  a  turn  of  faintnefs,  with 
much  difficulty,  rode  to  my  lodgings  ;  where  betak- 
ing myfelf  to  my  bed,  I  lay  in  a  burning  fever,  and 
almoft  delirious,  for  feveral  hours  ;  until  towards 
morning,  my  fever  went  off  with  a  violent  fvveat.  I 
have  often  been  feverifli,  and  unable  to  reft  quietly 
after  preaching  ;  but  this  was  the  moft  fevere  dif- 
trciiing  turn,  that  ever  preaching  brought  upon  me. 
Yet  I  felt  perfectly  at  reft  in  my  own  mind,  becaufe 
I  had  made  my  utmofl:  attempts  to  fpeak  for  God, 
and  knew  I  could  do  no  more. 

Tuefday,  September  y). — Yeflcrday,  and  today,  was 
in  the  fame  weak  ftate,  or  rather  weaker  than  in  days 
paft ;  was  fcarce  able  to  fit  up  half  the  day.  Was 
in  a  compofed  frame  of  mind,  remarkably  free  from 
dcjediion  and  melancholy  damps  ;  as  God  has  been 
pleafed,  in  great  meafure,  to  deliver  m€  from  thefc 
Qj^  unhappy 


248  TheLIFEof 

unhappy  glooms,  in  the  general  colirfe  of  my  pref- 
ent  wcaknefs  hitherto,  and  alfo  from  a  peevifh  fro- 
ward  fpirit  :  And  O,  how  great  a  mercy  is  this  !  O 
that  I  might  always  be  perfed:ly  quiet  in  feafons  of 
greateft  weaknefs,  although  nature  fhould  fink  and 
fail. 

Saturday^  OBober  4. — Spent  the  former  part  of 
this  week  under  a  great  degree  of  infirmity  and  dif- 
order,  as  I  had  done  feveral  weeks  before  :  Was  able 
however,  to  ride  a  little' every  day,  although  unable 
to  fit  up  half  of  the  day,  until  Thurfday.  Took 
fome  care  daily  of  fome  perfons  at  work  upon  my 
houfe.  On  Friday,  afternoon,  found  myfelf  won- 
derfully revived  and  flrengthened;  and  having  fome 
time  before  given  notice  to  my  people,  and  thofe  of 
them  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  in  particular,  that  I 
defigned,  with  the  leave  of  Providence,  to  adminifter 
the  facrament  of  the  Lord's  fupper  upon  the  firft 
Sabbath  in  Odlober,  the  Sabbath  now  approaching, 
on  Friday  afternoon  I  preached,  preparatory  to  the 
facrament,  from  2  Cor.  xiii.  5.  Finifliing  what  I 
had  propofed  to  offer  upon  the  fubjecH:  the  Stibbath 
before.  The  fermon  was  bleffed  of  God  to  the  ffir- 
ring  up  religious  affection,  and  a  fpirit  of  devotion, 
in  the  people  of  God  ;  and  to  the  greatly  afFed:ing 
one  who  had  backflidden  from  God,  which  caufed 
him  to  judge  and  condemn  himfelf.  This  being 
Saturday,  I  difcourfed  particularly  with  divers  of  the 
communicants  -,  and  this  afternoon  preached  from 
Zech.  xii.  10.  There  feemed  to  be  a  tender  melting, 
and  hearty  mourning  for  iin,  in  numbers  in  the  con- 
gregation. My  foul  was  in  a  comfortable  frame, 
and  1  enjoyed  freedom  and  affiflance  in  pubJick  fer- 
vice  :  Was  myfelf,  as  well  as  mofl  of  the  congrega- 
tion, much  affedcd  with  the  humble  confefTion,  and 
apparent  brokenheartednefs  of  the  forementioned 
backllidcr  j  and  could  not  but  rejoice;,  that  God  had 

given 


Mr.   DAVID  BRAINERD.      249 

given  him  fuch  a  fenfe  of  his  fin  and  unworthinefs. 
Was  extremely  tired  in  the  evening  ;  but  lay  on  my 
bed,  and  difcourfed  to  my  people. 

Lord*s  Day,  OEiobcr  5. — Was  ftill  very  weak  j  and, 
in  the  morning,  confiderably  afraid  1  fhould  not  be 
able  to  go  through  the  work  of  the  day  ;  having 
much  to  do,  both  in  private  and  publick.  Difcourf- 
ed before  the  adminiiiration  of  the  facrament,  from 
John  i.  29.  Behold  the  Lamb  of  God,  that  taketh  away 
the  JiJi  of  the  world.  Where  1  confidered,  I.  In  what 
refpedts  Chrift  is  called  the  Lamb  of  God  ;  and  ob- 
fervcd  that  he  is  fo  called,  i.  From  the  purity  and 
innocency  of  his  nature.  2.  From  his  meeknefs  and 
patience  under  fufferings.  '3.  From  his  being  that 
atonement,  which  was  pointed  out  in  the  facrifice  of 
lambs,  and  in  particular  by  the  pafchal  lamb.  II. 
Confidered  how  and  in  what  fcnfe  he  takes  away  the 
Jin  of  the  world :  And  obferved,  that  the  means  and 
manner,  in  and  by  which  he  takes  away  the  fins  of 
men,  was  his  giving  himfelffor  them-,  doing  and  fuf- 
fering  in  their  room  and  flcad,  &c.  And  he  is  faid 
to  take  away  xhtjin  of  the  world,  not  becaufe  all  the 
world  fliall  actually  be  redeemed  from  fin  by  him  ; 
but  becaufe,  i .  He  has  done  and  fuftered  fufiicient 
to  anfwer  for  the  fins  of  the  world,  and  fo  to  redeem 
all  mankind.  2.  He  actually  does  take  away  the 
fins  of  the  eled;  world.  And  III.  Confidered  how 
we  are  to  behold  him,  in  order  to  have  our  fins  tak- 
en away,  i .  Not  with  our  bodily  eyes  :  Nor  2.  hy 
imagining  him  on  the  crofs,  &c.  But  by  a  fpiritual 
view  of  his  glory  and  goodnefs,  engaging  the  foul  to 
rely  on  him,  &c.  The  divine  pref-nce  attended  this 
difcourfe  ;  and  the  affembly  was  confiderably  melt- 
ed with  divine  truths.  After  fermon  baptized  two 
pcrfons.  Then  adminiftered  the  Lord's  luppcr  to 
near  forty  communicants,  of  the  Indians,  befides 
divers  dear  chriftians  of  the  white  people.     It  feem- 

cd 


a50  The    LIFE    o^ 

cd  to  be  a  feafon  of  divine  power  and  grace;  and  num- 
bers feemed  to  rejoice  in  God.  O.the  fweet  union  and 
harmony  then  appearingamong  the  religious  people ! 
My  foul  was  rcfreflied,  and  my  religious  friends,  of 
the  white  people,  with  me.  After  the  facrament, 
could  fcarcely  get  home,  though  it  was  not  more 
than  twenty  rods  ;  but  was  fupported  and  led  by 
my  friends,  and  laid  on  my  bed  ;  where  I  lay  in 
pain  until  fome  time  in  the  evening  ;  and  then  was 
able  to  fit  up  and  difcourfe  with  friends.  O  how 
was  this  day  fpent  in  prayers  and  praifes  among  my 
dear  people  !  One  might  hear  them,  all  the  morning 
before  publick  worfhip,  and  in  the  evening,  until 
near  midnight,  praying  and  finging  praifes  to  God, 
in  one  or  other  of  their  houfes.  My  foul  was  re- 
freflied,  though  my  body  was  weak. 

[This  week  he  went  in  a  very  low  ftate,  in  two 
days,  to  Elizabeth-Town,  to  attend  the  meeting  of 
the  Synod  there  :  But  wasdifappointed  by  its  remov- 
al to  New-York.  He  continued  in  a  very  compofed 
comfortable  frame  of  mind.] 

Saturday^  OBober  ii. — Towards  night  was  feized 
with  an  ague,  which  was  followed  with  a  hard  fever, 
and  confiderable  pain  :  Was  treated  with  great 
kindnefs,  and  was  afliamed  to  fee  fo  much  concern 
about  fo  unworthy  a  creature,  as  I  knew  myfelf  (o 
be.  Was  in  a  comfortable  frame  of  mind,  wholly 
fubmiffive,  with  regard  to  life  or  death.  It  was  in- 
deed a  peculiar  fatisfadlion  to  nie,  to  think,  that  it 
was  not  my  concern  or  hufinefs  to  determine  wheth- 
er I  fliould  live  or  die.  I  likcwife  felt  peculiarly  I'at- 
isfied,  while  under  this  uncommon  degree  of  difor- 
der  ;  being  now  fully  convinced  of  my  being  really 
weak,  and  unable  to  perform  rny  work;  whereas  at 
other  times  my  mind  was  perplexed  with  fears,  that 
I  was  a  mifimprover  of  time,  by  conceiting  1  was 
fick;  when  I  was  not  in  reality  fo.    O,  how  precious 

is 


Mr.  DAVID   BR  A  IN  ERD.      251 

is  time  !  And  how  guilty  it  makes  me  feel,  when  I 
think  I  have  trifled  away  and  mifimproved  it,  or 
neglected  to  fill  up  each  part  of  it  with  duty,  to  the 
utmoft  of  my  ability  and  capacity  ! 

Lord's  Day y  O^ober  12. — Was  fcarce  able  to  fit 
up,  in  the  forenoon:  In  the  afternoon,  attended 
publick  worfhip,  and  was  in  a  compofed  and  com- 
fortable frame. 

[The  following  week,  he  went  back  to  his  Indians 
at  Cranberry,  to  take  fome  care  of  their  fpiritual  and 
temporal  concerns  :  And  was  much  fpent  with  rid- 
ing ;  though  he  rode  but  a  little  way  in  a  day.] 

Friday,  October  24. — Spent  the  day  in  overfeeing 
and  directing  my  people,  about  mending  their  fence, 
and  fecuring  their  wheat.  Found  that  all  their  con- 
cerns of  a  fecular  nature  depended  upon  me.  Was 
fomewhat  refrelhed  in  the  evening,  having  been  able 
to  do  fomething  valuable  in  the  day  time.  O,  how 
it  pains  me,  to  fee  time  pafs  away,  when  I  can  do 
nothing  to  any  purpofe  ! 

Saturday,  0^ober2^. — Viilted  fome  of  my  peo- 
ple ;  fpent  fome  time  in  writing,  and  felt  much  bet- 
ter in  body,  than  ufual  :  When  it  was  near  night,  I 
felt  fo  well,  that  I  had  thoughts  of  expounding  :  But 
in  the  evening  was  much  difordered  again,  and  fpent 
the  night  in  coughing,  and  fpittingof  blood. 

Lord's  Day,  October  26. — In  the  morning,  was  ex- 
ceeding weak:  Spent  the  day,  until  near  night,  in 
pain  to  fee  my  poor  people,  wandering  as  JJjeep  ?iot 
having  aJJ:tepherd,  waiting  and  hoping  to  fee  me  able 
to  preach  to  them  before  night  :  It  could  not  but 
diftrefs  me,  to  fee  them  in  this  cafe,  and  to  find  my- 
felf  unable  to  attempt  any  tiling  for  their  fpiritual 
benefit.  But  towards  night,  finding  myfelf  a  little 
better,  I  called  them  together  to  my  own  houfe.and 
fat  down  and  read  and  expounded  Matth.  v.  i. — 16. 
This  difcourfe,  though  delivered  in  much  weaknefs, 

was 


25a  TheLIFEof 

was  attended  with  power  to  many  of  the  hearers  -, 
efpecially  what  was  fpoken  upon  the  laft  of  thofe 
verfes  ;  where  I  infifted  on  the  infinite  wrong  done 
to  reHgion,  by  having  our  Hght  become  darknefs,  in- 
flead  oiJhini?ig  before  men.  As  many  in  the  congre- 
gation were  now  deeply  affedted  with  a  fenfe  of  their 
deficiency,  in  regard  of  a  fpirtual  converfation,  that 
might  recommend  rehgion  to  others,  and  as  a  fpirit 
of  concern  and  watchfulnefs  feemed  to  be  excited  in 
them  j  fo  there  was  one,  in  particular,  that  had  fall- 
en into  the  fin  of  drunkennefs,  fome  time  before, 
who  was  now  deeply  convinced  of  his  fin,  and  the 
great  dilhonour  done  to  religion  by  his  mifcondud:, 
and  difcovered  a  great  degree  of  grief  and  concern 
on  that  account.     My  foul  was  refrefhed  to  fee  this. 

Mo?2dayy  05iober  1"] , — Spent  the  day  in  overfeeing 
and  directing  the  Indians,  about  mending  the  fence 
round  their  wheat :  Was  able  to  walk  with  them,  and 
contrive  their  bufinefs,  all  the  forenoon.  In  the  af- 
ternoon, u^as  vifited  by  two  dear  friends,  and  fpent 
fome  time  in  converfation  with  them  ;  towards 
night,  was  able  to  walk  out,  and  take  care  of  the 
Indians  again.  In  the  evening,  enjoyed  a  very 
peaceful  frame. 

Tuefday,  October  28. — Rode  to  Prince-Town,  in  a 
v^ery  weak  ftate  :  Had  fuch  a  violent  fever,  by  the 
way,  that  I  was  forced  to  alight  at  a  friend's  houfe  ; 
and  lie  down  for  fome  time.  Near  night  was  vifit- 
ed by  Mr.  Treat,  Mr.  Beaty  and  his  wife,  and 
another  friend.  My  fpirits  were  refreflicd  to  fee 
them  ;  but  I  was  furprifed,  and  even  afhamed,  that 
they  had  taken  fo  much  pains  as  to  ride  thirty  or 
forty  miles  to  fee  me  !  Was  able  to  fit  up  mofl  of 
the  evening  ;  and  fpent  the  time  in  a  very  comfort- 
able manner  with  my  friends. 

Wedjicfday,  OHober  29. — Rode  about  (en  miles 
with  my  friends  that  came  yefterday  to  fee  me  ;  and 

then 


Mr.   DAVID  BRAINERD.       255 

then  parted  with  them,  all  but  one,  who  ftayed  on 
purpofe  to  keep  me  company,  and  cheer  my  fpirit^. 
Was  extremely  weak,  and  very  feverifli,  efpecially 
towards  nip;ht  j  but  enjoyed  comfort  and  fatisfaftion. 
Lord^s  Day,  'November  1. — Was  unable  to  preachy 
and  fcarcely  able  to  fit,  the  whole  day.     Was  griev- 
ed, and  aimoft  funk,  to  fee  my  poor  people  deftitute 
of  the  means  of  grace  ;  efpecially  confidering  they 
could  not  read,  and  fo  were  under  great  difad vanta- 
ges for  fpending  the  Sabbath  comfortably.     O  me- 
thought,  I  could  be  contented  to  be  fick,  if  my  poor 
flock   had    a   faithful    paftor   to    feed   them   with 
fpiritual  knowledge!  A  view  of  their  want  of  this 
was  more  afflidtive  to  me,  than  all  my  bodily  illnefs. 
Monday^  November  3. — Being  now  in  fo  weak  and 
low  a  ftate,  that  I  was  utterly  uncapable  of  per- 
forming my  work,  and  having  little  hope  of  recov- 
ery, unlefs  by  much  riding,  I  thought  it  my  duty  to 
take  a  lengthy  journey  into  New-England,  and  to 
divert  mxyfelf  among  my  friends,  whom  I  had  not 
now  feen  for  a  long  time.  And  accordingly  took  leave 
of  my  congregation  this  day.     Before  I  left  my  peo- 
ple, 1  vifited  them  all  in  their  refpedlive  houfes,  and 
difcourfed  to  each  one,  as  I  thought  mofi:  proper  and 
fuitable  for  their  circumftances,  and  found  great  free- 
dom and  affiftance  in  fo  doing  :  I  fcarcely  \^{x.  one 
houfe  but  fome  were  in  tears  ;  and  many  were  not 
only  affedled  with  my  beinof  about  to  leave  them, 
but  with  the  folemn  addreiles  1  made  them  upon 
divine  things  ;  for  I  was  helped  to  be  fervent  in 
Spirit^  while  1  difcourfed  to  them.     When   I  had 
thus  gone  through  my  congregation,  which  took  me 
moft  of  the  day,  and  had  taken  leave  of  them,  and 
of  thefchool,  I  left  home,  and  rode  about  two  miles 
to  the  houfe  where  1  lived  in  the  fummer  pail,  and 
there  lodged.     Was  refreflied,  this  evening,  in  that  I 
had  left  my  congregation  fowcUdifpofed  ar.dafFeded, 

and 


254  T  H  E   L  I  F  E    o  F 

and  that  I  bad  been  fo  much  affifled  in  making  my 
farewell  addrefles  to  them. 

Tuefday,  November  4. — Rode  to  Woodbridge,  and 
lodged  with  Mr.  Pierfon  ;  continuing  flill  in  a  very 
weak  ftate. 

Wednefday^  November  5. — Rode  to  Elizabeth- 
Town  ;  intending,  as  foon  as  poffible,  to  profecute 
my  journey  into  New-England.  But  was,  in  an 
hour  or  two  after  my  arrival,  taken  much  worfe. 

After  this,  for  near  a  week,  was  confined  to  my 
chamber,  and  moft  of  the  time  to  my  bed  :  And 
then  fo  far  revived  as  to  be  able  to  walk  about  the 
houfe  ;  but  was  ftill  confined  within  doors. 

In  the  beginning  of  this  extraordinary  turn  of  dif- 
order,  after  my  coming  to  Elizabeth-Town,  I  was 
enabled,  through  mercy, to  maintain  a  calm,  compof- 
cd,  and  patient  fpirit,  as  I  had  been  before  from  the 
beginning  of  my  weaknefs.  After  I  had  been  in 
Elizabeth-Town  about  a  fortnight,  and  had  fo  far 
recovered  that  I  was  able  to  walk  about  houfe, 
upon  a  dayof  thankfgiving  kept  in  this  place,  I  was 
enabled  to  recall  and  recount  over  the  mercies  of 
God,  in  fuch  a  manner  as  greatly  affedted  me,  and 
filled  me,  I  think,  with  thankfulnefs  and  praife  to 
God  ;  Efpecially  my  foul  praifed  him  for  his  work 
of  grace  among  the  Indians,  and  the  enlargement  of 
his  dear  kingdom  :  My  foul  blefifed  God  for  what 
he  is  in  himfelf,  and  adored  him,  that  he  ever  would 
difplay  himfelf  to  creatures  :  I  rejoiced  that  he  was 
God,  and  longed  that  all  fhould  know  it  and  feel  it, 
and  rejoice  in  it.  hordy  glorify  thyfelj\  was  the  de- 
fire  and  cry  of  my  foul.  O  that  all  people  might 
love  and  praife  the  bleffed  God  :  That  he  might 
have  all  poffible  honour  and  glory  from  the  intelli- 
gent world. 

After  this  comfortable  thankfgiving  feafon,  I  fre- 
quently enjoyed  freedom  and  enlargement,  and  en^ 

gagedncfs 


Mr.    DAVID   BR  AI  NERD.      255 

gaged nefs  of  foul,  in  prayer,  and  was  enabled  to  in- 
tercede with  God  for  my  dear  congregation,  very 
often  for  every  family,  and  every  perfon,  in  particu- 
lar ;  and  it  was  often  a  great  comfort  to  me,  that  I 
could  pray  heartily  to  God  for  thofe,  to  whom  I 
could  not  fpeak,  and  whom  I  v/as  not  allowed  to  fee. 
But  at  other  times,  my  fpirits  were  fo  flat  and  low, 
and  my  bodily  vigour  fo  much  wafted,  that  I  had 
fcarce  any  affedions  at  all. 

In  December  1  had  revived  fo  far  as  to  be  able  to 
walk  abroad,  and  vilit  friends,  and  feemed  to  be  oa 
the  gaining  hand  with  regard  to  my  health,  in  the 
maini  until  Lord*s  Day,  December  21. 

After  this,  having  perhaps  taken  fome  cold,  I  be- 
gan to  decline  as  to  bodily  health  ;  and  contiuned  to 
do  fo,  until  the  latter  end  of  January,  1746,7. 

On  Lord's  Day,  February  i,  though  in  a  very 
weak  and  low  ftate,  1  enjoyed  a  considerable  deal  of 
comfort  and  fweetnefs  in  divine  things  ;  and  was 
enabled  to  plead  and  ufe  argum.ents  with  God  in 
prayer,  I  think,  with  a  child  like  fpirit.  That  paf- 
fage  of  fcripture  occurred  to  my  mind,  and  gave  me 
great  affiftance,  If  ye,  being  evil,  know  how  to  give 
good  gifts  to  your  children,  how  much  more  will  your 
heavenly  'Father  give  the  Holy  Spirit  to  them  that  ajk 
him?  This  text  I  was  helped  to  plead  and  indft  up- 
on •  and  faw  the  divine  faithfulnefs  engaged  for 
dealing  with  me  better  than  any  earthly  parent  can 
do  with  his  child.  This  feafon  fo  refreflied  my 
foul  that  my  body  feemed  alfo  to  be  a  gainer  by  ic» 
And  from  this  time,  I  began  gradually  to  amend. 
And  as  1  recovered  fome  ftrength,  vigour  and  fpirit, 
I  found  at  times  fome  freedom  and  life  in  the  exer- 
cifes  of  devotion,  and  fome  longings  after  fpiritualitj'' 
and  a  life  of  ufefulnefs  to  the  interefts  of  the  great  Re- 
deemer; although,  at  other  times,  I  was  awfully  barren 
andlifelefs,  andoutof  frame  for  the  things  of  God;  fo 

that 


^56  TheLIFEof 

that  I  was  ready  often  to  cry  out,  O  that  it  were 
with  me  as  in  months  paji  !  O  that  God  had  taken 
me  away  in  the  midft  of  my  ufefuhiefs,  with  a  fud- 
den  ftroke,  that  I  might  not  have  been  under  a  ne- 
celfity  of  trifling  away  time  in  diverfions  !  O  that 
I  had  never  lived  to  fpend  fo  much  precious  time, 
in  fo  poor  a  manner,  and  to  fo  little  purpofe  !  Thus 
I  often  refleded,  was  grieved,  alhamed,  and  even 
confounded,  funk  and  dilcouraged. 

On  Tuefday,  February  24,  I  was  able  to  ride  as 
far  as  Newark,  (having  been  confined  within  Eliza- 
beth-Town almoft  four  months)  and  the  next  day 
returned  to  Elizabeth-Town.  My  fpiiits  were  fome- 
what  refreflied  with  the  ride,  though  my  body  was 
weary. 

On  Saturday,  February  28,  was  vifited  by  an  In- 
dian of  my  own  congregation  ;  who  brought  me 
letters,  and  good  news  of  the  fober  and  good  be- 
haviour of  my  people,  in  general.  This  refreflied 
my  foul  ;  I  could  not  but  foon  retire,  and  blefs  God 
for  his  goodnefs  ;  and  found,  I  trufl:,  a  truly  thank- 
ful frame  of  fpirit,  that  God  feemed  to  be  building 
up  that  congregation  for  himfelf. 

On  Wednefday,  March  4, 1  met  with  reproof  from 
a  friend,  which,  although  1  thought  I  did  not  deferve 
it  from  him,  yet  vi^as.  I  trufl:,  blefTed  of  God  to  make 
me  more  tenderly  afraid  of  fin,  more  jealous  over 
myfelf,  and  more  concerned  to  keep  both  heart  and 
life  pure  and  unblamable  :  It  likewife  caufed  me 
to  refledt  on  my  paft  deadnefs,  and  wantof  fpiritu- 
ality,  and  to  abhor  myfelf,  and  look  on  myfelf  mofl 
unworthy. 

Wednefday  y  March  11. — Being  kept  in  Elizabeth - 
Town  as  a  day  of  fafting  and  prayer,  I  was  able  to 
attend  publick  worfliip  ;  which  was  the  firfl  time 
I  was  able  fo  to  do  after  December  21.  O,  how 
rauchweaknefs  anddiitrefs  did  God  carry  me  through 

in 


Mr.   DAVID  BRA  INERD.      25^ 

in  this  fpace  of  time  !  But  having  obtained  help 'from 
him,  I  yet  live  :  O  that  I  could  live  more  to  his  glory. 

LonVs  Day,  March  i^. — Was  able  again  to  attend 
the  publick  worlhip,  and  felt  fome  earnell  defiresof 
being  reftored  to  the  minifterial  work:  Felt,  I  think, 
fome  fpirit  and  life  to  fpeak  for  God, 

Wednefday,  March  18. — Rode  out  with  a  defign  fo 
vifit  my  people,  and  the  next  day  arrived  among 
them  :  Was  under  great  dejecflion  in  my  journey. 

On  Friday  morning,  I  rofe  early,  walked  about 
.imong  my  people,  and  inquired  into*  their  ftate  and 
concerns ;  and  found  an  additional  weight  and  bur^ 
den  on  my  fpirits,  upon  hearing  fome  things  difa- 
greeable.  I  endeavoured  to  go  to  God  with  my  dif- 
trefTes,  and  made  fome  kind  of  lamentable  com- 
plaint j  and  in  a  broken  manner  fpread  my  difficult- 
ies before  God  j  but,  notwithftanding,  my  mind 
continued  very  gloomy.  About  teno*clock,  I  call- 
ed my  people  together,  and  after  having  explained 
and  fung  a  Pfalm,  I  prayed  with  them  :  There  was 
a  confiderable  deal  of  affecflion  among  them  ;  I 
doubt  not,  in  fome  inftances,  that  which  was  more 
than  merely  natural. 

[This  was  the  laft  interview  that  he  ever  had  with 
his  people.  About  eleven  o'clock  the  fame  day,  he 
left  them  ;  and  the  next  day,  came  to  Elizabeth- 
Town  ;  his  melancholy  remaining  fl:ill  ;  and  he  con- 
tinued for  a  confiderable  tim.e  under  a  great  degree 
of  dejedtion  through  vapoury  diforders.] 

hordes  Day,  April  ^. — It  grieved  me  to  find  myfelf 
fo  inconceivably  barren.  My  foul  thirfted  for  grace  : 
But  alas,  how  far  was  I  from  obtaining  what  I  faw 
fo  exceeding  excellent  !  Iv.-as  ready  to  defpair  of  eve'^ 
being  a  holy  creature  j  and  yet  my  foul  was  defirous 
oi following  hard  after  God;  but  never  did  I  fee  my- 
felf fo  far  fromhaving  apprehended,  or  being  alrea- 
dy perfed:,  as  at  this  lime.     The  Lord's  fupper  be- 

R  ing 


2s^  TheLIFEof 

ing  this  day  adminiftered,  I  attended  the  ordinance  t 
And  though  I  faw  in  myfelf  a  dreadful  emptinefs, 
and  want  of  grace,  and  faw  myfelf  as  it  were  at  an 
infinite  diftance  from  that  purity,  which  is  becom- 
ing the  gofpel  j  yet  in  the  feafon  of  communion, 
efpecially  in  the  time  of  the  diftribution  of  the 
bread,  I  enjoyed  fome  warmth  of  affedion,  and 
felt  a  tender  /ove  to  the  brethren  ;  and,  I  think,  to 
the  glorious  Redeemer,  the  firft-born  among  them. 
I  endeavoured  then  to  bring  forth  mine  and  his  ene^ 
mies,  andjlay  them  before  him  ;  and  found  great  free- 
dom in  begging  deliverance  from  this  fpiritual  death, 
as  well  as  in  afking  divine  favours  for  my  friends,  and 
congregation,  and  the  church  ot  Chrifl  in  general. 

Friday y  April  lO. — Spent  the  forenoon  in  Prefby- 
terial  bufineis  :  In  the  afternoon  rode  to  Elizabeth- 
Town  j  found  my  brother  John  there*  :  Spent  fome 
time  in  converfation  with  him  ;  but  was  extremely 
weak  and  outdone,  my  fpirits  conliderably  funk, 
and  my  mind  dejed:ed. 

Thurfday,  April  i6. — Was  in  bitter  anguifh  of 
foul,  in  the  morning,  fuch  as  I  have  fcarce  ever  felt, 
with  a  fenfe  of  fin  and  guilt.  1  continued  in  diftrefs 
the  whole  day,  attempting  to  pray  wherever  I 
went ;  and  indeed  could  not  help  fo  doing  :  But 
looked  upon  myfelf  fo  vile,  I  dared  not  look  any 
body  in  the  face  ;  and  was  even  grieved,  that  any 
body  (hould  fliew  me  any  refpedt,  or  at  leafl,  that 
they  (liould  be  fo  deceived  as  to  think  1  deferved  it. 

Friday y  April  17. — In  the  evening  could  not  but 
think  that  God  helped  me  to  draw  near  to  the  throne  of 
grace,  though  moll  unworthy,  and  gave  me  a  fenfe 
of  his  flivour  j  which  gave  me  inexpreffible  fupport  and 

encouragement 

*  This  brother  of  his  had  been  fent  for  by  the  Correfpondents,  to  take  care  of, 
and  inftruft  Mr.  Brainerd's  congiegation  of  Indians ;  he  being  obliged  by  his  ill- 
nefs  to  be  abfent  from  them.  And  he  continued  to  take  care  ot  them  until  Mr.  Brai- 
nerd's death  :  And  fince  his  death,  -was  ordained  his  fucceiTor  in  his  miffion,  and  to 
the  charge  of  his  cyngresa'ion  ;  which  continuca  much  to  flourifh  under  hispaf- 
toral  care. 


Mr.    DAVID  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      25.^ 

encouragement;  though  I  fcarcely  dared  to  hope  the 
mercy  was  real,  it  appeared  fo  great  :  Yet  could 
not  but  rejoice,  that  ever  God  fliould  difcover  his 
reconciled  face  to  fuch  a  vile  finner.  Shame  and 
confufion,  at  times,  covered  me  ;  and  then  hope 
and  joy  and  admiration  of  divine  goodnefs  gain- 
ed the  afcendant.  Sometimes  I  could  not  but  ad- 
mire the  divine  goodnefs,  that  the  Lord  had  not  let 
me  fall  into  all  the  grofleft  vileft  a(5ts  of  fin  and 
open  fcandal,  that  could  be  thought  of;  and  felt  my- 
felf  fo  neceflitated  to  praife  God,  that  this  was  ready 
for  a  little  while,  to  fwallow  up  my  fliame  and  prefT- 
ure  of  fpirit  on  account  of  my  fins. 

[After  this  his  dejection  and  prciTure  of  fpirit  re- 
turned ;  and  he  remained  under  it  the  two  next  days.] 

Monday^  April  2C. — Was  in  a  very  difordered 
ftate,  and  kept  my  bed  moft  of  the  day.  1  en- 
joyed a  little  more  comfort,  than  in  feveralofthe 
preceding  days*  This  day  I  arrived  at  the  age  of 
twenty  nine  years. 

fuej'day^  April  21.— I  fet  oUt  on  my  journey  fof 
New-England,  in  order  (if  it  might  be  the  will  of 
God)  to  recover  my  health  by  riding  :  Travelled  io 
New- York,  and  there  lodged. 

[This  proved  his  final  departure  from  Nevv-Jer- 
fey.  He  travelled  flowly,  and  arrived  among  his 
friends,  at  Eaft-Haddam,  about  the  beginning  of 
May.  There  is  very  little  account  in  his  Diary  of 
the  time  that  paiTed  from  his  fetting  out  on  this 
journey  to  May  10.  He  fpeaks  of  his  fometimes 
finding  his  heart  rejoicing  in  the  glorious  perfeiflions 
of  God,  and  longing  to  live  to  him  j  but  complains 
of  the  unfixedncfs  of  his  thoughts,  and  their  being 
eafily  diverted  from  divine  fubjed:s,and  cries  out  of 
his  leanncfs,  as  teftifying  againft  him  in  the  ioudeil 
*  manner.  And  concerning  thofe  (hverfions  he  was 
obliged  iKi  ufe  for  his  health,  he  fays,  that  he  fome- 

R  %  times 


26o  TheLIFEof 

times  found  be  could  ufe  diverfions  v^'iih  Jingle nefs 
of  hearty  aiming  at  the  glory  of  God  ;  but  that  be 
alfo  found  there  was  a  nccefTity  of  great  care  and 
watchfulnefs  left  he  Ihould  lofe  that  fpiritual  tem- 
per of  mind  in  his  diverfions,  and  left  they  fbould 
degenerate  into  what  was  merely  felfilh  without  any 
iupreme  aim  at  the  glory  of  God  in  them.] 

Lord*s  Dciy.  May  lO.— [At  Had-Lime.]  I  could 
not  but  feel  fome  meafure  of  gratitude  to  God  at 
this  time  (wherein  I  was  much  exercifed)  that  he 
had  always  difpofed  me,  in  my  miniftry,  toinfifton 
the  great  do(5trines  of  regeneration^  the  new  creature^ 
faith  in  Cbrijl^  progrejfive  fanBif  cation ^  fupreme  love 
to  God,  living  entirely  to  the  glory  of  God,  being  not 
our  owny  and  the  like.  God  has  helped  me  to  fee  ia 
the  fureft  manner,  from  time  to  time,  that  thefe 
and  the  like  docflrines,  neceffarily  connected  with 
them,  are  the  only  foundation  of  fafety  and  falvation 
for  periftiing  finners ;  and  that  thofe  divine  difpofi- 
tions,  which  are  confonant  hereto,  are  that  holinefs 
without  which  no  man  Jloall  fee  the  Lord:  The  cxercife 
of  thefe  godUke  tempers,  wherein  the  foul  ad:s  in  a 
kind  of  concert  with  God,  and  would  be  and  do  eve- 
ry thing  that  is  pleafing  to  God  ;  this,  I  faw,  would 
Hand  by  the  foul  in  a  dying  hour ;  for  God  muft,  I 
think,  deny  hi mf elf  if  he  cafts  away  his  own  image, 
even  the  foul  that  is  one  in  defires  with  himfelf. 

Lord's  Day,Mayi'-j. — [At  Millington.]  Spent  the 
forenoon  at  home,  being  unable  to  attend  the  publick 
worfhip.  At  this  time,  God  gave  me  fome  affed- 
ing  fenfe  of  my  own  vilenefs,  and  the  exceeding  fin- 
fulnefsof  my  heart;  that  there  feemed  to  be  nothing 
but  fin  and  corruption  within  me.  Innumerable 
evils  compaffed  me  about ;  my  want  of  fpirituality 
and  holy  living,  my  negled:  of  God,  and  living  to 
myfelf ;  all  the  abominations  of  my  heart  and  life 
feemed  to  be  open  to  my  view ;  and  1  had  nothing 

to- 


Mr.   DAVID   BRAINERD.        26r 

to  fay,  but  God  be  merciful  to  me  ajinncr.  Towards 
noon,  I  faw,  that  the  grace  of  God  in  Chrift  is  infi- 
nitely free  towards  finners,  and  fiich  finners  as  I  was; 
I  alfo  faw,  that  God  is  the  fupreme  good,  that  in  his 
prefence  is  life  ;  and  I  began  to  long  to  die,  that  I 
might  ^^  with  hifii,  in  a  ftate  of  freedom  from  all  fin. 
O,  how  a  fmall  glimpfe  of  his  excellency  refrefhed 
my  foul  !  O,  how  worthy  is  the  bleffed  God  to  be 
loved,  adored,  and  delighted  in,  for  himfelf,  for  his 
own  divine  excellencies. 

Though  I  felt  much  dulnefs,  and  want  of  a  fpirit 
of  prayer,  this  week,  yet  I  had  fome  glimpies  of  the 
excellency  of  divine  things  ;  and  efpccially  one 
morning,  in  fecret  meditation  and  prayer,  the  excel- 
lency and  beauty  of  holinefs,  as  a  likenefs  to  the 
glorious  God,  was  fo  difcovered  to  me,  that  I  began 
to  long  earneflly  to  be  in  that  world  where  holinefs 
dwells  in  perfeilion  :  And  I  feemed  to  long  for  this 
perfedt  holinefs,  not  fo  much  for  the  fike  o{  my  own 
happinefs  (although  I  faw  clearly  that  this  was  the 
greateft,  yea,  the  only  happinels  of  the  Ibul)  as  that 
I  might  pleafe  God,  live  entirely  to  him,  and  glorify 
him  to  theutmoft  ftretch  of  my  rational  powers  and 
capacities. 

[On  Thurfday,  May  28,  he  came  from  Long- 
Meadow  to  Northampton  ;  appearing  vaflly  bet- 
ter than,  by  his  account,  he  had  been  in  the  winter  ; 
indeed,  fo  well  that  he  was  able  to  ride  twenty  five 
miles  in  a  day,  and  to  walk  half  a  mile;  and  ap- 
peared cheerful,  and  free  from  melancholy  :  But 
yet,  undoubtedly,  at  that  time,  in  a  confirmed,  in- 
curable confumption 

I  had  had  much  opportunity,  before  this,  of  par- 
ticular information  concerning  him,  from  many 
that  were  well  acquainted  with  him.  But  now  I  had 
opportunity  for  a  more  full  acquaintance  with  him. 
1  found  him  remarkably  fociable,  pleafant  and  enter- 

R  3  taining 


a62  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    0  F 

tainingin  his  converfation  ;  yet  folid,  favoury,  fpir* 
itual,  and  very  profitable  ;  appearing  meek,modeft, 
and  humble  ;  far  from  any  ftiffnefs,  morofenefs,  fu- 
perftitious  demurenefs,  or  afFeded  Angularity  in 
ipeech  or  behaviour,  and  feeming  to  naufeate  all  fuch 
things.  We  enjoyed  not  only  the  benefit  of  his  con-^ 
verfation,  but  had  the  comfort  and  advantage  of 
hearing  him  pray  in  the  family,  from  time  to  time. 
His  manner  of  praying  was  very  agreeable;  mofb 
becoming  a  worm  of  the  duft,  and  a  difciple  of 
Chrift,  addrefling  an  infinitely  great  and  holy  God, 
and  Father  of  mercies ;  not  with  florid  exprellions, 
or  a  ftudied  eloquence  ;  not  with  any  intemperate 
vehemence,  or  indecent  boldnefs  ;  at  the  greateft 
diftance  from  any  appearance  of  oftentation,  and 
from  every  thing  that  might  look  as  though  he  meant 
to  recommend  himfelf  to  thofe  that  were  about  him. 
or  fet  himfelf  off  to  their  acceptance  ;  free  too  from 
vain  repetitions,  without  impertinent  excurfions,  or 
needlefs  multiplying  of  words.  He  exprefled  him- 
felf with  the  ftridteft  propriety,  with  weight,  and 
pungency ;  and  yet  what  his  lips  uttered  feemed  to 
flow  from  the  fulnefs  of  his  heart,  as  deeply  imprelf- 
ed  with  a  great  and  folemn  fenfe  of  our  neceffities, 
unworthinefs,  and  dependence,  and  of  God's  infinite 
greatnefs,  excellency,  and  fufficiency,  rather  than 
merely  from  a  warm  and  fruitful  brain,  pouring  out 
good  exprellions.  And  I  know  not,  -that  ever  I 
heard  him  fo  much  as  afk  a  blefling  or  return  thanks 
at  table,  but  there  was  fomething  remarkable  to  be 
obferved,  both  in  the  matter  and  manner  of 
performance.  In  his  prayers^  he  infifted  much 
on  the  profpcrity  of  Zion,  the  advancement  of 
Chrift's  kingdom  in  the  v.'orld,  and  the  flourifliing 
and  propagation  of  religion  among  the  Indians. 
And  he  generally  made  it  one  petition  in  his  prayer^ 
that  we  might  not  outlive  our  ufefulnefs.] 


Mr.    DAVID    BRAINERD.      ^6^ 

Lord's  Day,  May  31.— [At  Northampton.]  I 
had  httle  inward  fvveetnefs  in  reUgion,  for  moft  of 
the  week  paft  ;  not  realizing  and  beholding  fpiritu- 
ally  the  glory  of  God,  and  the  bleffed  Redeemer;  from 
whence  always  arife  my  comforts  and  joys  in  relig- 
ion, if  I  have  any  at  all :  And  if  I  cannot  fo  behold 
the  excellencies  and  perfections  of  God,  as  to  caufe 
me  to  rejoice  in  him  for  what  he  is  in  himfelf,  I 
have  no  fohd  foundation  for  joy.  To  rejoice  only 
becaufe  1  apprehend  1  have  an  intereft  in  Chrift, 
and  fhall  be  finally  faved,  is  a  poor  mean  bufinefs 
indeed. 

[This  week,  he  confulted  dodor  Mather,  at  my 
hoLife,  concerning  his  illnefs  j  who  plainly  told  him, 
that  there  were  great  evidences  of  his  being  in  a  con- 
firmed confumption,  and  that  he  could  givchim  no 
encouragement,  that  he  fhould  ever  recover.  But  it 
feemed  not  to  occafion  the  lead  difcompofure  in  him, 
nor  to  make  any  manner  of  alteration  as  to  the  cheer- 
fulnefs  and  ferenity  of  his  mind,  or  the  freedom  or 
pleafantncfs  of  hisconverfation.] 

Lord's  Day,  Juneq. — My  attention  was  greatly 
engaged,  and  my  ioul  fo  drawn  forth,  this  day,  by 
what  I  heard  of  the  exceeding  precioufnefs  of  the 
faving  grace  of  God's  Spirit,  that  it  almoll  over- 
came my  body  in  my  weak  flate  ;  1  law  that  true 
grace  is  exceeding  precious  indeed  ;  that  it  is  very 
rare  ;  and  there  is  but  a  very  Imall  degree  of  it, 
even  where  the  reality  of  it  is  to  be  found  ;  at  lead: , 
I  faw  this  to  be  my  cafe. 

In  the  preceding  week  I  enjoyed  fom?  comforta- 
ble feafons  of  meditation.  One  morning  the  caufe 
of  God  appeared  exceeding  precious  to  me:  The 
Redeemer's  kingdom  is  all  that  is  valuable  in  the  earth , 
and  1  could  not  but  long  for  the  promotion  of  it  in 
the  world  :  I  faw  alio  that  this  caufe  is  God's,  that 
he  has  an  infinitely  greater  regard  and  concern  for 
"   'R  4  -  it. 


264  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    a  F 

it,  than  I  could  poflibly  have  ;  that  if  I  have  any 
true  love  to  this  blefled  intereft,  it  is  only  a  drop  de- 
rived from  that  ocean.  Hence,  I  was  ready  to  lift 
up  my  head  with  joy;  and  conclude,  well,  if  God's 
caufc  be  (o  dear  and  precious  to  him,  he  will  pro- 
mote it.  And  thus  I  did  as  it  were  reft  on  God, 
that  furely  he  would  promote  that  which  was  fo 
agreeable  to  his  own  will  j  though  the  time  when 
muft  ftill  be  left  to  his  fovereign  pleafure. 

[He  was  advifed  by  phylicians  ftill  to  continue 
riding,  as  what  would  tend,  above  any  other  means, 
to  prolong  his  life.  He  was  at  a  lofs  for  fomc  time, 
which  way  to  bend  his  courfe  next  ;  but  finally  de- 
termined to  ride  from  hence  to  Bofton  ;  we  haying 
concluded  that  one  of  this  family  ftiould  go  with 
bim,and  be  helpful  to  him  in  his  weak  and  low  ftate.] 

T^uefday,  "June  9. — I  fet  out  on  a  Journey  from 
Northampton  to  Bofton  :  Travelled  flowly,  and 
got  fome  acquaintance  with  divers  minifters  on  the 
road. 

I  having  now  continued  to  ride  for  fome  confider- 
able  time  together,  felt  myfelf  much  better  than  I  had 
formerly  done  -,  and  I  found  that  in  proportion  to 
the  profpedt  I  had  of  being  reftored  to  a  ftate  of  ufe- 
fulnefs,  fo  I  defired  the  continuance  of  life  :  But 
death  appeared  inconceivably  more  defirable  to  me, 
than  a  uielefs  life  ;  yet,  blefled  be  God,  1  found  my 
heart,  at  times,  fully  refigned  and  reconciled  to  this 
greateft  of  affiidions,  if  God  faw  fit  thus  to  deal 
with  me. 

Friday,  "June  I2,— I  arrived  in  Bofton  this  day, 
fome  what  fatigued  with  my  journey.  Obferved, 
that  there  is  no  reft  but  in  God  :  Fatigues  of  body, 
and  anxieties  of  mind  attend  us,  both  in  town  and 
country  ;  no  place  is  exempted. 

Lord's  Day,  'June  14. — 1  enjoyed  fome  enlarge- 
ment and  fweetnefs  in  family  prayer,  as  well  as  in 

fccret 


Mr.    DAVID   B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      z6^ 

ftcret  exercifes  ;  God  appeared  excellent,  his  ways 
full  of  plcafure  and  peace,  and  all  I  wanted  was  a 
fpirit  of  holy  fervency,  to  live  to  him. 

Wednefday^  'June  17. — This  and  the  two  preced- 
ing days,  I  fpent  mainly  in  vifiting  the  minifters  of 
the  town,  and  was  treated  with  great  reipei^l  by  them. 

On  Thurfday,  June  18,  I  was  taken  exceeding  ill, 
and  brought  to  the  gates  of  death,  by  tl^  breaking  of 
fmall  ulcers  in  my  lungs,  as  my  phyiicianfuppofed.  In: 
this  extreme  weak  ftate  I  continued  forTeveral  weeks, 
and  was  frequently  reduced  iolow  as  to  be  utterly 
fpeechlefs,  and  not  able  lb  much  as  to  whifper  a  word ; 
and  even  after  I  had  fp  far  revived,  as" to  walk  about 
houfe,and  toftep  out  of  doors,  Iv/as  exercifed  every 
day  with  a  faint  turn,  which  continued  ufually 
four  or  five  hours  ;  at  which  times,  though  I  was 
not  utterly  fpeechlefs,  fo  but  that  I  could  fay  yes^ 
or  no,  yet  I  could  not  converfe  at  all,  nor  fpeal^ 
one  fentence  without  making  flops  for  breath;  and 
divers  times  in  this  feafon,  my  friends  gathered 
round  my  bed,  to  fee  me  breathe  my  laft,  which' 
they  looked  for  every  moment,  as  I  myfelf  al- 
fodid. 

How  I  was  the  firft  day  or  two  of  my  illnefs,  with' 
regard  to  the  exercife  of  reafon,  I  fcarcely  know  ; 
but  1  believe  I  was  fomething  ihattered  with  the  vio- 
lence of  the  fever,  at  times :  But  the  third  day  of  my- 
illnefs,  and  conlf  antly  afterwards,  for  tour  or  five 
weeks  together,  I  enjoyed  as  much  ferenity  of 
mind  and  clearnefs  of  thought,  as  perhaps  I  ever 
did  in  my  lite  :  And  I  think  my  mind  never  pene- 
trated with  {o  much  eafe  and  freedom  into  divine 
things,  as  at  this  time  ;  and  I  never  felt  fo  capable 
of  demonftrating  the  truth  of  many  important  doc- 
trines of  the  gofpel  as  now.  And  as  I  faw  clearly  the 
truth  of  thole  great  dodrines,  which  are  juftly  fliled 
the  Doctrines  of  Grace  ^  ioi  faw  with  no  kfs 

clearnefs. 


266  TheLIFEof 

clearnefs,  that  the  efTence  of  religion  confifted  in  the 
foul's  conformity  to  God,  and  adting  above  all  felf- 
ifh  views,  for  his  iglory,  longing  to  be  for  him,  to 
live  to  him,  and  pleafe  and  honour  him  in  all  things ; 
and  this  from  a  clear  view  of  his  infinite  excellency 
and  worthinefs  in  himfelf,  to  be  loved,  adored,  wor- 
fhipped  and  ferved  by  all  intelligent  creatures.  Thus 
I  faw,  that  when  a  foul  loves  God  with  a  fupreme 
love,  he  therein  ads  like  the  blefTed  God  himfelf, 
who  moit  juftly  loves  himfelf  in  that  manner  :  So 
when  God's  intereil  and  his  are  become  one,  and  he 
longs  that  God  fhould  be  glorified,  and  rejoices  to 
think  that  he  is  unchangeably  polTeffed  of  the  high- 
eft  glory  and  blefTednefs,  herein  alfo  he  a(fts  in  con- 
formity to  God  :  In  like  manner,  when  the  foul  is 
fully  refigned  to,  and  refts  fatisfied  and  content- 
ed with  the  divine  will,  here  it  is  alfo  conformed 
to  God. 

I  faw  further,  that  as  this  divine  temper,  whereby 
the  foul  exalts  God,  and  treads  felf  in  the  duft,  is 
wrought  in  the  foul  by  God's  difcovering  his  own 
glorious  perfe6tions  i?i  the  face  of^efus  Chrijl  to  it, 
by  the  fpecial  influences  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  fo  he 
cannot  but  have  regard  to  it,  as  his  own  work  ;  and 
as  it  is  his  image  in  the  foul,  he  cannot  but  take  de- 
light in  it.  Then  I  faw  again,  that  if  God  fliould 
flight  and  rejedhis  own  moral  im^ge,  he  muft  needs 
deny  himfelf;  which  he  cannot  do.  And  thus  I  faw 
theftabilityandinfallibility  of  this  religion,  and  that 
thofe  who  are  truly  pofTeffed  of  it,  have  the  molt 
complete  and  fatisfying  evidence  of  their  being  in- 
terefied  in  all  the  benefits  of  Chrifl's  redemption, 
having  their  hearts  confotmed  to  him  ;  and  that  thele 
and  thefe  only  are  qualified  for  the  employments 
and  entertainments  of  God's  kingdom  of  glory  ;  as 
none  but  thefe  have  any  rcliQi  for  the  bufinefs  of 
heaven,  which  is  to  afcribe  glory  to  God,  and  not  to 

themfelvcs  ; 


Mr.   DAVID    BRAINERD.      267 

themfelves  ;  and  thatXjod,  though  I  would  fpeak  it 
with  great  reverence  of  his  name  and  perfecflions,  can- 
not, without  denying  himlelf,  finally  caft  fuch  away. 

The  next  thing  I  had  then  to  do,  was  to  inquire, 
whether  this  was  my  religion  :  And  here  God  was 
pleafed  to  help  me  to  the  mod  eafy  remembrance 
and  critical  review  of  what  had  pafled  in  courfe,  of  a 
religious  nature,  through  feveral  of  the  latter  years  of 
my  life  :  And  although  I  could  difcover  much  cor- 
ruption attending  my  beft  duties,  many  felfifh  views, 
and  carnal  ends,  much  fpiritual  pride  and  felf  exalt- 
ation, and  innumerable  other  evils  which  compafTed 
me  about  ;  I  fay,  although  I  now  difcerned  the  fins 
of  my  holy  things,  as  well  as  other  actions,  yet  God 
was  pleafed,  as  1  was  reviewing,  quickly  to  put  this 
queftion  out  of  doubt,  by  fhewing  me,  that  I  had, 
from  time  to  time,  adled  above  the  utmoft  influence 
of  mere  felf  love  ;  that  I  had  longed  to  pleafe  and 
glorify  him,  as  my  highefl  happinefs,  &c.  And 
this  review  was  through  grace  attended  with  a  pref- 
ent  feeling  of  the  fame  divine  temper  of  mind  ;  I  felt 
now  pleafed  to  think  of  the  glory  of  God,  and  long- 
ed for  heaven  as  a  flate  wherein  I  might  glorify  God 
perfe(5lly,  rather  than  a  place  of  happinefs  for  my- 
felf :  And  this  feeling  of  the  love  of  God  in  my 
heart,  which  I  truft  the  Spirit  of  God  excited  in  me 
afrefh,  was  fufficient  to  give  me  full  fatisfa<5tion, 
and  make  me  long,  as  I  had  many  times  before  done, 
to  be  with  Chrift.  I  did  not  now  want  any  of  the 
fudden  fuggeflions,  which  many  are  fo  pleafed  with, 
that  Chrift  and  his  benefits  are  mine,  that  God 
loves  me,  &c.  in  order  to  give  me  fatisfad:ion  about 
my  ftate. 

Thefe  things  I  faw  with  great  clearnefs,  when  I 
was  thought  to  be  dying.     And  God  gave  me  great 
concern  for  his  church  and  intereft  in  the  world,  at 
this  time. 

As 


268  Th  E    L  I  F  E    o  P 

As  God  was  pleafed  to  afford  me  clearnefs  of 
thought,  and  compofure  of  mind,  almoft  continual- 
ly, for  feveral  weeks  together,  under  my  great  weak- 
nisfs  ;  fo  he  enabled  me,  in  fome  meafure,  to  im- 
prove my  time,  as  I  hope,  to  valuable  purpofes.  I 
was  enabled  to  write  a  number  of  important  letters 
to  friends  in  remote  places  :  And  fometimes  I  wrote 
when  I  was  fpeechlefs  ;  i.  e.  unable  to  maintain 
converfation  with  any  body  ;  though  perhaps  I  was 
able  to  fpeak  a  word  or  two  fo  as  to  be  heard. 

[He  was  much  vifited,  while  in  Bofton,  by  many 
perfons  of  confiderable  note  and  figure,  and  of  the 
beft  chara6ter,  and  by  fome  of  the  firft  rank  :  Who 
fhewed  him  uncommon  refpecft,  and  appeared  high- 
ly pleafed  and  entertained  with  his  converfation.  And 
befides  his  being  honoured  with  the  company  and 
refped:  of  minifters  of  the  town,  he  was  vifited  by 
feveral  miniflers  from  various  parts  of  the  coun- 
try. And  as  he  took  all  opportunities  to  difcourfe 
of  the  peculiar  nature,  and  diftinguifliing  characters 
of  true  fpiritual  and  vital  religion,  and  to  bear  his 
teftimony  againfl:  the  various  falfe  appearances  of  it, 
confifting  in,  or  arifing  from  impreflionson  the  im- 
agination, and  fudden  and  fuppoied  immediate  fug- 
geftions  of  truths,  not  contained  in  the  fcripture,  and 
that  faith  which  confifts  primarily  in  a  perfon's  be- 
lieving that  Chrifl  died  for  him  in  particular,  dec. 
So  what  he  faid  was  for  the  mod  part  heard  with 
uncommon  attention  and  regard  ;  and  his  difcourfes 
and  reafonings  appeared  manifcftly  to  have  great 
weight  and  influence,  with  many  that  he  converfed 
•with,  both  minifters  and  others. 

Mr.  Brainerd*s  refloration  from  his  extremely  low 
flate  in  Boflon,  foas  to  go  abroad  again  and  to  trav- 
el, was  very  uncxpedted  to  him  and  his  friends.  My 
daughter,  who  was  with  him,  writes  thus  concerning 

him,  in  a  letter  dated  June  23.     *' On  Thurfday, 

he 


I 


Mr.   DAVID   BRA  INERD.      269 

he  was  very  ill  with  a  violent  fever,  and  extreme  pain 
in  his  head  and  breaft,  and,  at  turns,  delirious.  So 
he  remained  until  Saturday  evening,  when  he  feem- 
ed  to  be  in  the  agonies  of  death  :  The  familj?-  was 
up  with  him  until  one  or  two  o'clock,  expedting  ev- 
ery hour  would  be  his  laft.  On  Sabbath  day  he  was 
a  little  revived,  his  head  was  better,  but  very  full 
of  pain,  and  exceeding  fore  at  his  breaft,  much  put 
to  it  for  breath,  &cc.  Yefterday  he  was  better  upon 
all  accounts.  Lafl'  night  he  flept  but  little.  This 
morning  he  is  much  worfe.  Do6tor  Pynchon  fays, 
he  has  no  hopes  of  his  life ;  nor  does  he  think  it 
likely  he  will  ever  come  out  of  the  chamber  ; 
though  he  fays  he  may  be  able  to  come  to  North- 
ampton." 

In  anotherletter,datedJune29,{liefays  as  follows  : 
*'  Mr.Brainerd  has  not  fo  much  pain  nor  fever,  fince 
I  laft  wrote,  as  before  :  Yet  he  is  extremely  weak 
and  low,  and  very  faint,  expedting  every  day  will 
be  his  lafl.  He  fays,  it  is  impoflible  for  him  to  live 
for  want  of  life.  He  has  hardly  vigour  enough  to 
draw  his  breath.  I  went  this  morning  into  town, 
and  when  I  came  home,  Mr.  Bromfield  faid,  he 
never  expected  I  fliould  fee  him  alive  ;  for  hfe  lay 
two  hours,  as  they  thought,  dying;  one  could  fcarce- 
ly  tell,  whether  he  was  alive  or  not  ;  he  was  not  able 
to  fpeak,  for  fome  time  :  But  now  is  much  as  he 
was  before.  The  Do(tl:or  thinks,  he  will  drop  away 
in  fuch  a  turn.  Mr.  Brainerd  fays,  he  never  felt  any 
thing  fo  much  like  diifolution,  as  what  he  felt  today ; 
and  fays,  he  never  had  any  conception  of  its  being 
pollible  for  any  creature  to  be  alive,  and  yet  fo  weak 
as  he  is  from  day  to  day.  Dodor  Pynchon  fays,  he 
Ihould  not  be  furprifed,  if  he  fhould  fo  recover  as  to 
live  half  a  year  ;  nor  would  it  furpriie  him,  if  h.e 
ihould  die  in  half  a  day.  Since  I  began  to  write,  he 
is  not  fo  well  j  having  had  a  faint  turn  again  :  Yet 

patient 


r^o  The    LIFE    of 

patient  and  refigned,  having  no  diflrcfling  fears,  but 
the  contrary." 

His  phj^fician,  the  honourable  Jofeph  Pynchon, 
Efq;  when  he  vifited  him  in  his  extreme  illnefs  in 
Bofton,  attributed  his  finking  fo  fuddenly  intoa  ftate 
fo  extremely  low,  and  nigh  unto  death,  to  the  break- 
ing of  ulcers,  that  had  been  long  gathering  in  his 
lungs,  as  Mr.  Brainerd  himfelf  intimates  in  a  fore- 
mentioned  pafTage  in  his  Diary,  and  there  difcharg- 
ing  and  difFufing  their  purulent  matter  ;  which, 
while  nature  was  labouring  and  ftruggling  to  throw 
off,  that  could  be  done  no  otherwife,  than  by  gradu- 
al ftraining  of  it  through  the  fmall  veffels  of  thofe 
vital  parts.  This  occafioned  an  high  fever,  and  vi- 
olent coughing,  and  threw  the  whole  frame  of  na- 
ture into  the  utmoft  diforder,  and  brought  it  near  to 
a  diflblution  :  But  fuppofed,  if  the  ftrength  of  na- 
ture held  until  the  lungs  had  this  way  gradually 
cleared  themfelves  of  this  putrid  matter,  he  might 
revive,  and  continue  better,  until  new  ulcers  gather- 
ed and  broke  ;  but  then  would  furely  fink  again  ; 
and  that  there  was  no  hope  of  his  recovery  ;  but,  as 
he  exprefl'ed  himfelf  to  one  of  my  neighbours,  who 
at  that  time  faw  him  in  Bofton,  he  was  as  certainly 
a  dead  man,  as  if  he  was  (hot  through  the  heart. 

But  fo  it  was  ordered  in  divine  Providence,  that 
the  ftrength  of  nature  held  out  through  this  great 
conflidt,  fo  as  juft  to  efcape  the  grave  at  that  turn  ; 
and  then  he  revived,  to  the  aftoniftiment  of  all  that 
knew  his  cafe. 

After  he  began  to  revive  he  was  vifited  by  his 
youngeft  brother,  Mr.  Ifrael  Brainerd,  a  ftudent  at 
Yale-College  ;  who  having  heard  of  his  extreme  ill- 
nefs, went  from  thence  to  Bofton,  in  order  to  fee  him, 
if  he  might  find  him  alive, which  he  butlittleexpedted. 

This  viHt  was  attended  with  a  mixture  of  joy  and 
forrow  to  Mr.  Brainerd,    He  greatly  rejoiced  to  fee 

his 


Mr.  DAVID  BRAINERD.      271 

his  brother,  efpecially  becaufe  he  had  defired  an  op- 
portunity  of  fome  rehgious  converfation  with  him 
before  he  died.  But  this  meeting  was  attended  with 
forrow,  as  his  brother  brought  to  him  the  forrowful 
tidings  of  his  fifter  Spencer's  death  at  Haddam  ;  a 
/ifter,  between  whom  and  him  had  long  fubfifted  a 
pecuharly  dear  affedion,  and  much  intimacy  in  fpir- 
itual  matters,  and  whofe  houfe  he  ufed  to  make  his 
home,  when  he  went  to  Haddam,  his  native  place. 
He  had  heard  nothing  of  her  ficknefs  until  this  re- 
port of  her  death.  But  he  had  thefe  comforts,  to- 
gether with  the  tidings,  viz.  a  confidence  of  her  be- 
ing gone  to  heaven,  and  an  expectation  of  his  foon 
meeting  her  there.  His  brother  continued  with  him 
until  he  left  the  town,  and  came  with  him  from 
thence  to  Northampton. 

Concerning  the  laft  Sabbath   Mr.  Brainerd  fpent 
in  Bofton,  he  writes  in  his  Diary  as  follows.] 

Lord's  Day,  'July  19. — I  wasjuft  able  to  attend 
publick  worlhip,  being  carried  to  the  houfe  of  God 
in  a  chaife.  Heard  Dr.  Sewall  preach,  in  the  fore- 
noon :  Partook  of  the  Lord's  fupper  at  this  time. 
In  this  facrament,  I  fawaftonifliing  divine  wifdom  dif- 
played  j  fuch  wi(dom  as  I  faw  required  the  tongues 
of  angels  and  glorified  faints  to  celebrate  :  It  feemed 
to  me,  I  never  fliould  do  any  thing  at  adoring  the 
infinite  wifdom  of  God  difcovered  in  the  contrivance 
of  man*s  redemption,  until  I  arrived  at  a  world  of 
perfed:ion  ;  yet  I  could  not  help  driving  to  call  upon 
7uy  foul  and  all  within  me  to  blej's  the  Jiame  of  God.  In 
the  afternoon,  heard  Mr.  Prince  preach.  I  faw  more 
of  God  in  the  wifdom  difcovered  in  the  planof  man*s 
redemption,  than  I  faw  of  any  other  of  his  perfec- 
»tions,  through  the  whole  day. 

[He  left   Bofion   the  next  day.     But  before  he 

came  away,  he  hadoccafion  to  bear  a  very  full,  plain, 

and  open  teflimony  againd  that  opinion,  that  theef- 

fence 


272  TheLIFEof 

fence  of  faving  faith  lies  in  believing  that  Chrifl:  di- 
ed for  me  in  particular,  and  that  this  is  the  firft  adt 
of  faith  in  a  true  believer*s  clofing  with  Chrift.  He 
did  it  in  a  long  conference  he  had  with  a  gentleman, 
that  has  very  publickly  and  ftrenuoufly  appeared  to 
defend  that  tenet.  He  had  this  difcourfe  with  him 
in  the  prefence  of  a  number  of  confiderable  perfons, 
who  came  to  vifit  Mr.  Brainerd  before  he  left  the 
town,  and  to  take  their  leave  of  him.  In  which  de- 
bate he  made  this  plain  declaration,  at  the  fame  time 
confirming  what  he  faid  by  many  arguments.  That 
the  effence  of  faving  faith  was  wholly  left  out  of  that 
definition  of  faving  faith  which  that  gentleman  has 
publifhed  ;  and  that  the  faith  which  he  had  defined, 
had  nothing  of  God  in  it,  nothing  above  nature,  nor 
indeed  above  the  power  of  the  devils  ;  and  that  all 
fuch  as  had  this  faith,  and  had  no  better,  though 
they  might  have  this  to  never  fo  high  a  degree, 
would  furely  perifh.  And  he  declared  alfo,  that  he 
never  had  greater  afTurance  of  the  falfenefs  of  the 
principles  of  thofe  that  maintained  fuch  a  faith,  and 
of  their  dangerous  and  deflrudlive  tendency,  or  a 
more  affecSling  fenfe  of  the  great  delufion  and  mife- 
ry  of  thofe  that  depended  on  getting  to  heaven  by 
fuch  a  faith,  while  they  had  no  better,  than  he  late- 
ly had  when  he  was  fuppofed  to  be  at  the  point  to 
die,  and  expedted  every  minute  to  pafs  into  eternity. 
Mr.  Brainerd*s  difcourfe  at  this  time,  and  the  forci- 
ble reafonings  by  which  he  confirmed  what  he  af- 
ferted,  appeared  to  be  greatly  to  the  fatisfadtion  of 
thofe  prefent  j  as  feveral  of  them  took  occafion  ex- 
prefsly  to  manifeft  to  him,  before  they  took  leave  of 
him. 

When  this  converfation  was  ended,  having  bid 
an  afFedtionate  farewell  to  his  friends,  he  fct  out  in 
the  cool  of  the  afternoon,  on  his  journey  to  North- 
ampton, attended  by  his  brother,  and  my  daughter 

that 


Mr.    DAVID  BRA  INERD.      273 

that  went  with  him  to  Bofton  ;  and  would  have 
been  accompanied  out  of  the  town  by  a  number  of 
gentlemen,  befides  that  honourable  perfon  who  gave 
him  his  company  for  fome  miles  on  that  occaSon, 
as  a  tell imony  of  their  efteem  and  refpe(5t,  had  not  his 
averdon  to  any  thing  of  pomp  and  (hew  prevent- 
ed it.] 

Saturday^  ^uly  25. — I  arrived  here  at  Northamp- 
ton j  having  let  out  from  Bofton  on  Monday,  about 
four  o'clock  P.  M.  In  this  journey,  I  rode  about 
iixteen  miles  a  day,  one  day  with  another.  I  was 
fometimes  extremely  tired  and  faint  on  the  road,  fo 
that  it  feemed.impoffible  for  me  to  proceed  any  fur- 
ther :  At  other  times  I  v/as  confidcrably  better,  and 
felt  fome  freedom  both  of  body  and  mind. 

Lord's  Day,  'JuIy^6. — This  day  I  faw  clearly,  that 
I  Ihould  never  be  happy  ;  yea,  that  God  himfelf 
could  not  make  me  happy,  unlefs  I  could  be  in  a  ca- 
pacity toplcafe  and  glorify  him  forever  :  Take  away 
this,  and  admit  me  into  all  the  fine  heavens  that  can 
be  conceived  of  by  men  or  angels,  and  I  fhould  ftill 
be  mifcrable  forever- 

[Though  he  had  fo  far  revived,  as  to  be  able  to 
travel  thus  fiir,  yet  he  manifelled  no  expedfation  of 
recovery  :  He  fuppofed,  as  his  phylician  did,  that 
his  being  brought  fo  near  to  death  at  Bofton,  was 
owing  to  the  breaking  of  ulcers  in  his  lungs  :  He 
told  me,  that  he  had  had  feveral  fuch  ill  turns  before^ 
only  not  to  {o  high. a  degree,  but  as  he  fuppofed^ 
owing  to  the  lame  caufe,  viz.  the  breaking  of  ulcers  ; 
and  that  he  was  brought  lower  and  lower  every  time  ; 
and  it  appeared  to  him,  that  in  his  laft  ficknefs,  in 
Bofton,  he  was  brought  as  low  as  it  was  poffible  and 
yet  Myc  ;  and  that  he  had  not  the  leaft  expsdtatiori 
of  furviving  the  next  return  of  this  breaking  of  ul- 
cers :  But  ftill  appeared  perfectly  calm  in  the  prof- 
pe<ft  of  death,    . 

S  On 


274  The    LIFE    of 

On  Wednefday  morning,  the  week  after  he  came 
to  Northampton,  he  took  leave  of  his  brother  Ifrael, 
as  never  expeding  to  fee  him  again  in  this  world  ; 
he  now  fetting  out  from  hence  on  his  journey  to 
New- Haven. 

When  Mr.  Brainerd  came  hither,  he  had  fo  much 
flrength  as  to  be  able,  from  day  to  day,  to  ride  out 
two  or  three  miles,  and  to  return  ;  and  fometimes  to 
pray  in  the  family  ;  b^ut  from  this  time  he  gradual- 
ly, but  fenfibly,  decayed,  and  became  weaker  and 
weaker. 

While  he  was  here  his  converfation  from  firft  to 
laft  was  much  on  the  fame  fubjecfts  as  it  had  been 
when  in  Boflon  :  He  was  much  in  fpeaking  of  the 
nature  of  true  religion  of  heart  and  prad:ice,  as  dif- 
tinguifhed  from  its  various  counterfeits;  exprefiing 
his  great  concern,  that  the  latter  did  fo  much  pre- 
vail in  many  places.  He  often  manifefted  his  great 
abhorrence  of  all  fuch  dodlrines  and  principles  in  re- 
ligion, as  in  any  wife  favoured  of,  and  had  any  though 
but  a  remote,  tendency  to  Antinomianifm  ;  of  all  fuch 
notions,  as  feemed  to  diminifli  the  neccffity  of  holi- 
nefsoflife,  or  to  abate  men*s  regard  to  the  com- 
mands of  God,  and  a  ftrid;,  diligent,  and  univerfal 
practice  of  virtue  and  piety,  under  a  pretence  of  de- 
preciating our  works,  and  magnifying  God's  free 
grace.  He  fpake  often,  with  much  detcftation,  of 
luch  experiences  and  pretended  difcoveries  and  joys, 
as  have  nothing  of  the  nature  of  fandification  in 
them,  and  do  not  tend  to  fhicftnefs,  tendernefs,  and 
diligence  in  religion,  and  meeknefs  and  benevolence 
towards  mankind,  and  an  humble  behaviour  :  And 
he  alfo  declared,  that  he  looked  on  fuch  pretended 
humihty  as  worthy  of  no  regard,  that  was  not  man- 
3 felled  by  modefly  of  condudl  and  converfation.  He 
fpakc  often,  with  abhorrence,  of  the  fpirit  and  prac- 
tice that  appears  among,  the  greater  part  of  feparatifts 

at 


Mr.   DAVID  BRAINERD.      275 

at  this  day  in  the  land,  particularly  thofein  the  eail- 
ern  parts  of  Connedicut  ;  in  their  condemning  and 
ieparating  from  the  ftanding  miniftry  and  churches, 
their  crying  down  learning,  and  a  learned  miniftry* 
their  notion  of  an  immediate  call  to  the  work  of  the 
miniftry,  and  the  forwardnefs  of  laymen  to  fet  up 
themfelves  as  publick  teachers.  He  had  been  much 
converfant  in  the  eaftern  part  of  Conne(5licut,  his 
native  place  being  near  to  it,  when  the  fame  princi- 
ples, notions  and  fpirit  began  to  operate,  which  have 
iince-  prevailed  to  a  greater  height  ;  and  had  ac- 
quaintance with  fome  of  thofe  perfons  who  are  be- 
come heads  and  leaders  of  the  feparatifts ;  he  had 
alfo  been  converfant  with  perfons  of  the  fame  way 
clfewhere  :  And  I  heard  him  fay,  once  and  again,  he 
knew  by  his  acquaintance  with  this  fort  of  people, 
that  what  was  chiefly  and  moft  generally  in  repute 
among  them  as  the  power  of  godUnefs,  was  an  en- 
tirely different  thing  from  that  true  vital  piety  rec- 
ommended in  the  fcriptures,  and  had  nothing  in  it 
of  that  nature.  He  manifefted  a  great  diflike  of  a 
difpofition  in  perfons  to  much  noife  and  ftiow  in  re- 
ligion, and  affedting  to  be  abundant  in  proclaiming 
and  publiftiing  their  own  experiences  :  Though  at 
the  fame  time  he  did  not  condemn,  but  approved  of 
chriftians'  fpeaking  of  their  own  experiences  on  fome 
occafions,  and  to  fome  perfons,  with  due  modelty 
and  difcretion. 

After  he  came  hither,  as  long  as  he  lived,  he  was 
much  in  fpeaking  of  that  future  pro fperity  of  Z ion, 
that  is  fo  often  foretold  and  promifed  in  the  fcrip- 
ture  :  It  was  a  theme  he  delighted  to  dwell  upon  ; 
and  his  mind  feerned  to  be  carried  forth  with  earneft 
concern  about  it,  and  intenfe  defires,  that  religion 
might  fpeedily  and  abundantly  revive  and  flourifh  ; 
though  he  hatl  not  the  leaft  expedation  of  recovery  ', 
yea,  the  nearer  death  advanced',  and  the  more  the 
S  7,  fymptoms-. 


27^  T  H  E    L  I  l<^  E    o  F 

fymptoms  of  its  approach  increafed,  ftill  the  more- 
did  his  mind  feem  to  be  taken  up  with  this  fubjedt. 
He  told  me,  when  near  his  end,  that  '*  he  never  irt 
all  his  life,  had  his  mind  fo  led  forth  in  defires  and 
earneft  prayers  for  the  flourifhing  of  Chrift's  king- 
dom on  earth,  as  fince  he  was  brought  fo  exceeding 
low  at  Bofton/*  He  feemed  much  to  wonder,  that 
there  appeared  no  more  of  a  difpofition  in  minifters 
and  people  to  pray  for  the  flourifliing  of  religion 
through  the  world  ;  that  fo  little  a  part  of  their 
prayers  was  generally  taken  upabout  it  in  their  fam- 
ilies, and  elfewhere  ;  and  particularly,  he  feveral 
times  expreffed  his  wonder,  that  there  appeared  na 
more  forwardnefs  to  comply  with  the  propofal  late- 
ly made,  in  a  memorial  from  a  number  of  minifters 
in  Scotland,  and  fent  over  into  America,  for  united 
extraordinary  prayer,  among  Chrift's  minifters  and 
people,  for  the  coming  of  Chrift*s  kingdom  :  And 
he  fent  it  as  his  dying  advice  to  his  own  congrega- 
tion that  they  fliould  pra6tife  agreeably  to  that  pro- 
pofal*. 

Though  he  was  conftantly  exceeding  weak,  yet 
there  appeared  in  him  a  continual  care  well  to  im- 
prove time,  and  lill  it  up  with  fomething  that  might 
be  profitable,  and  in  fome  refped:  for  the  glory  of 
God  or  the  good  of  men  ;  either  profitable  conver- 
iation,  or  writing  letters  to  abfent  friends,  or  noting 
fomething  in  his  Diar}^  or  looking  over  his  former 
writings,  corredling  them,  and  preparing  them  to 
be  left  in  the  hands  of  others  at  his  death,  or  giving 
fome  dircdlions  concerning  a  future  conducting  and 
management  of  his  people,  or  employment  in  fccret 
devotions.     He  feemed  never  to  be  eafy,  however 

ill, 

*  His  congregation,  fmce  this,  have  with  great  chrerfulncfs  and  unanimity  fallen 
in  with  ihis  advice,  and  have  piitCtilcd  agreeably  to  the  propofal  Iroin  Scotland  ;  and 
have  at  times,  appeared  with  uncommon  cngagcdntfs  and  iervency  of  i'pirit  in  their 
meetings  and  united  dcvoticns,  purluant  to  that  propofal  :  Alfo  the  Prclbyteries  o'. 
.  New-York,  and  Ncw-Bruafwick,  fince  this,  have  with  one  confent,  lallcn  in  wiih 
ih?  propoialj  as  Iikcwiie  fgmr  o'.hcrs  of  God's  p'-oplr  in  thoie  pans 


M  R.   D  A  V  I  D  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      %fi 

ill,  if  he  was  not  doing  fomething  for  God,  or  in 
his  fervice. 

After  he  came  hither,  he  wrote  a  preface  to  a  Di- 
ary of  the  famous  Mr.  Shepard's,  having  been  much 
urged  to  it  by  thofe  gentlemen  in  Bofton,  who  had 
the  care  of  the  publication  :  Which  Diary,  with  his 
preface,  has  fince  been  publiflied, 

In  his  Diary  for  Lord's  Day,  Auguft  9,  he  fpeaks 
of  longing  defires  after  death,  through  a  fenfe  of  the 
excellency  of  a  flate  of  perfediion. 

In  his  Diary  for  Lord's  Day,  Auguft  16,  he 
fpeaks  of  his  having  fo  much  refrefhment  of  foul  in 
the  houfe  of  God,  that  it  feemed  to  refrefh  his  body. 
And  this  is  not  only  noted  in  his  Diary,  but  was 
very  obfervable  to  others ;  it  was  very  apparent,  not 
only,  that  his  mind  was  exhilarated  with  inward 
confolation,  but  alfo  that  his  animal  fpirits  and  bod- 
ily ftrength  feemed  to  be  remarkably  rell:ored,  as 
though  he  had  forgot  his  illnefs.  But  this  was  the 
lafl  time  that  ever  he  attended  publick  worfliip  on 
the  Sabbath. 

On  Tuefday  morning  that  week,  I  being  abfent  on 
a  journey,  he  prayed  with  my  family,-  but  not  with- 
out much  difficulty,  for  want  of  bodily  llrength  : 
And  this  was  the  laft  family  prayer  that  ever  he 
made. 

He  had  been  wont,  until  now,  frequently  to  ride 
out,  two  or  three  miles  :  But  this  week,  on  Thurf- 
^■^Yy  was  the  laft  time  he  ever  did  fo.] 

Lord*s  Dayy  Augujl  23. — This  morning  I  was 
conliderably  refrelhed  with  the  thought,  yea,  the 
hope  and  expedation  of  the  enlargement  of  Chrifl's 
kingdom  ;  and  I  could  not  but  hope,  the  time  was 
at  hand,  when  Babylon  the  great  would  fidl,  and 
rife  no  more  ;  This  led  me  to  fome  fpiritual  medi- 
tations, tliat  were  very  refrc filing  tome.  I  was  un- 
able to  attend  publick  worfliip  cither  part  of  the 

S  3  day  I 


%S  TheLIFEof 

day  ;  but  God  was  pleafed  to  afford  me  fixednefs 
and  fatisfa(5lion  in  divine  thoughts.  Nothing  fo  re- 
frefhes  my  foul,  as  when  I  can  go  to  God,  yea, 
to  God  my  exceeding  joy.  When  he  is  fo,  fenli- 
bly,  to  my  foul,  O,  how  unfpeakably  delightful  is 
this  ! 

In  the  week  paft,  I  had  divers  turns  of  inward  re- 
frefliing  ;  though  ray  body  was  inexprefTibly  weak, 
followed  continually  with  agues  and  fevers.  Some- 
times my  foul  centered  in  God,  as  my  only  portion  ; 
and  I  felt  that  1  fhould  be  forever  unhappy,  if  he 
did  not  reign  :  I  faw  the  fweetnefs  and  happinefs  of 
being  his  fubjed:,  at  his  difpofal :  This  made  all  my 
difficulties  quickly  vanifh. 

From  this  Lord's  Day,  viz.  Auguft  23,  I  was 
troubled  very  much  with  vapoury  diforders,  and 
could  neither  write  nor  read,  and  could  fcarcely  live ; 
although,  through  mercy,  was  not  fo  much  opprefT- 
ed  with  heavy  melancholy  and  gloominefs,  as  at 
many  other  times. 

[Until  this  week  he  had  been  wont  to  lodge  in  a 
room  above  flairs  i  but  he  now  grew  fo  weak,  that 
he  was  no  longer  able  to  go  up  flairs  and  down  ; 
Friday  Augufl  28,  was  the  laft  time  he  ever  went 
above  flairs ;  henceforward  he  betook  himfelf  to  a 
lower  room. 

On  Wednefday,  September  2,  being  the  day  of 
our  publick  led:ure,  he  feemed  to  be  retrefhed  with 
feeing  the  neighbouring  minifters  that  came  hitherto 
the  ledlure,  and  exprelTed  a  great  dcfire  once  more 
to  go  to  the  houfe  of  God  on  that  day  :  And  accord- 
ingly rode  to  the  meeting,  and  attended  divine  fer- 
vice,  while  the  Rev.  Mr.  Woodbridge  of  Hatfield 
preached.  He  fignified  that  he  fuppofed  it  to  be 
the  laft  time  that  ever  he  fhould  attend  the  publick 
worfhip  ;  as  it  proved.  And  indeed  it  was  the  lafi 
time  that  ever  he  went  out  at  our  gate  alive. 

On 


Mr.   DAVID    BR  A  I  NERD.      279 

On  the  Saturday  evening  next  following,  he  was  un- 
exped:edly  vifited  by  his  brother,  Mr.  JohnBrainerd, 
who  came  to  fee  him  from  New-Jerfey.  He  was 
much  refrefhed  by  this  unexpe<fled  vilit,  this  broth- 
er being  peculiarly  dear  to  him  ;  and  he  feemed  to 
rejoice  in  a  devout  and  folemn  manner,  to  fee  him, 
and  to  hear  the  comfortable  tidings  he  brought  con- 
cerning the  ftate  of  his  dear  congregation  of  chrif- 
tian  Indians  :  And  a  circumftance  of  this  vifit,  that 
he  was  exceeding  glad  of,  was,  that  his  brother 
brought  him  fome  of  his  private  writings  from  New- 
Jerfey,  and  particularly  his  Diary  that  he  had  kept 
for  many  years  paft.] 

Lord*s  Day^  September  6. — I  began  to  read  fome 
of  my  private  writings-,  which  my  brother  brought 
me  ;  and  was  confiderably  refrefhed,  with  what  I 
met  with  in  them. 

Monday^  September'). — I  proceeded  farther  in  read- 
ing my  old  private  writings,  and  found  they  had  the 
fame  effed:  upon  me  as  before  ;  I  could  not  but  re- 
joice and  blefs  God  for  whatpaiTed  long  ago,  which 
without  writing  had  been  entirely  loft. 

This  evening,  when  I  was  in  great  diftrefs  of  body, 
my  foul  longed  that  God  fhould  be  glorified  :  I  faw 
there  was  no  heaven  but  this.  I  could  not  but  fpeak 
to  the  byftanders  then  of  the  only  happinefs,  viz. 
pleafing  God.  O  that  I  could  forever  live  to  God  { 
The  day  I  truft,  is  at  hand,  the  perfedt  day  :  O,  the 
day  of  deliverance  from  all  fin  ! 

Lord's  Day,  September  13. — I  was  much  refrefhed 
and  engaged  in  meditation  and  writing,  and  found  a 
heart  to  adl  for  God.  My  fpirits  were  refreflied, 
and  my  foul  delighted  to  do  fomething  for  God. 

[On  the  evening  following  that  Lord's  Day,  his 
feet  began  to  appear  fenfibly  fwelled  ;  which  thence- 
forward fvvelled  more  and  more.  A  fymptom  of 
his  dilTolution  coming  on. 

S4  The 


ago  T  H  E    L  I'  F  E    o  F 

The  next  day,  his  brother  John  left  him,  being 
obliged  to  return  to  Nevv-Jerfey  on  fome  bulinefs  of 
great  importance  and  necefTity  ;  intending  to  return 
again  with  all  poffibie  fpeed,  hoping  to  fee  his 
brother  yet  once  more  in  the  land  of  the  living. 

On  the  Thurfday  of  this  week,  September  17, 
was  the  laft  time  that  ever  he  went  out  of  his  lodg- 
ing room.  That  day,  he  was  again  vifited  by  his 
brother  Ifracl,  who  continued  with  him  thencefor- 
ward until  his  death.  On  that  evening,  he  was  tak- 
en with  fomething  of  a  diarrhoea  ;  which  he  looked 
upon  as  another  fign  of  his  approaching  death  : 
Whereupon  he  expreifed  himfelf  thus  ;  O,  the  glo- 
rious time  is  now  coming  !  I  have  longed  to  ferve 
God  perfed:ly  :  Now  God  will  gratify  thofe  defires ! 
And  from  time  to  time,  at  the  feveral  fteps  and  new 
fymptoms  of  the  fenfible  approach  of  his  diflblu- 
tion,hc  was  fo  far  from  being  funk  or  damped,  that 
hefeemed  to  be  animated,  and  made  more  cheerful ; 
as  being  glad  at  the  appearances  of  death's  ap- 
proach. He  often  ufed  the  epithet,  glorious,  when 
fpeaking  of  the  day  of  his  death,  calling  it  that  glo- 
rious day.  And  as  he  faw  his  diffolution  gradually 
approaching,  he  was  much  in  talking  about  it,  with 
perfe<5t  calmnefs  fpeaking  of  a  future  ftate  ;  and  al- 
fo  fettling  all  his  affairs,  very  particularly  and  mi- 
nutely giving  direcStions  concerning  what  he  would 
have  done  in  one  refpedt  and  another  after  he  w*as 
dead.  And  the  nearer  death  approached,  the  more 
defirous  he  feemed  to  be  of  it.  He  feveral  times 
fpake  of  the  different  kinds  of  willingnefs  to  die  ; 
and  fpoke  of  it  as  an  ignoble,  mean  kind,  of  willing- 
nefs to  die,  to  be  willing  to  leave  the  body,  only  to 
get  rid  of  pain  ;  or  to  go  to  heaven  only  to  get  hon- 
pur  and  advancement  there.] 

Saturday,  September  19. — Near  night,  while  I  at- 
tempted to  walk  a  little,  my  thoughts  turned  thus  : 

How 


Mr.   DAVID   BRAIN  ERD.        281 

How  infinitely  fwcet  it  is,  to  love  God,  and  be  all 
for  him  !  Upon  which  it  was  fuggefted  to  me,  You 
are  not  an  angel,  not  lively  and  ad:ive.  To  which 
my  whole  foul  immediately  replied,  I  as  fincerely 
deiire  to  love  and  glorify  God,  as  any  angel  in  heav- 
en. Upon  which  it  was  fuggeiled  again,  But  you  arc 
filthy,  not  fit  for  heaven.  Hereupon  inftantly  ap- 
peared the  bleifed  robes  of  C brill's  righteoufneis, 
which  I  could  not  but  exult  and  triumph  in  ;  and  I 
viewed  the  infinite  excellency  of  God,  and  m.y  foul 
even  broke  with  longings,  that  God  fhould  be  glori- 
fied. I  thought  of  dignity  in  heaven;  but  mftantly 
the  thought  returned,  I  do  not  go  to  heaven  to  get 
honour,  but  to  give  all  pofiible  glory  and  praife.  O, 
how  I  longed  that  God  fliould  be  glorified  on  earth 
alfo  !  O,  I  was  made  for  eternity,  if  God  m.ight  be 
glorified  !  Bodily  pains  I  cared  not  for  :  Though  I 
was  then  in  extremity,  I  never  felt  eafier  ;  I  felt  wil- 
ling to  glorify  God  in  that  flate  of  bodily  difirefs,  as 
long  as  he  pleafed  I  fliould  continue  in  it.  The 
grave  appeared  really  fweet,  and  I  longed  to  lodge 
my  weary  bones  in  it  :  But  O  that  God  might  be 
glorified  !  This  was  the  burden  of  all  my  cry.  O  I 
knew  I  fliould  be  ad:ive  as  an  angel,  in  heaven  ;  and 
that  I  fhould  be  flrippcd  of  my  filthy  garments  !  So 
that  there  was  no  objection.  But  O,  to  love  and 
praife  God  more,  to  pleafe  him  forever  !  This  my 
foul  panted  after,  and  even  now  pants  for  while  I 
write.  O  that  God  m^ight  be  glorified  in  the  whole 
earth.  Lord,  let  thy  kingdom  come.  I  longed  for  a 
fpirit  of  preaching  to  defcend  and  refl  on  minifters, 
that  they  might  addrefs  the  confciences  of  men  with 
clofeneis  and  power.  I  faw  God  had  the  refidue  of 
the  fpirit  j  and  my  foul  longed  it  fliould  be  poured 
from  on  high.  1  could  not  but  plead  with  God  for 
my  dear  congregation,  that  he  would  preferve 
it,  and  not  fuller  his  great  name  to  lofe  its  glory  in 

that 


i82  TheLIFEof 

that  work  ;  My  foul  llill  longing, that  God  might  be 
glorified. 

[The  extraordinary  frame  that  he  was  in,  that 
evening,  could  not  be  hid  ;  his  mouth /pake  out  of  the 
abundance  of  his  hearty  expreffing  in  a  very  affed:ing 
manner  much  the  fame  things  as  are  written  in  his 
Diary  :  And  among  very  many  other  extraordinary 
cxpreflions,  which  he  then  uttered,  were  fuch  as 
thefe  j  My  heaven  is  to  pleafe  God,  and  glorify  him, 
and  give  all  to  him,  and  to  be  wholly  devoted  to  his 
glory  ;  that  is  the  heaven  I  long  for;  that  is  my  re- 
ligion, and  that  is  my  happinefs  ;  and  always  was, 
ever  iince  I  fuppofe  I  had  any  true  religion  ;  and  all 
thofe  that  are  of  that  religion,  fhall  meet  me  in  heav- 
en. I  do  not  go  to  heaven  to  be  advanced,  but  to 
give  honour  to  God.  It  is  no  matter  where  I  fhall 
be  Rationed  in  heaven,  whether  I  have  a  high  or  a 
low  feat  there  ;  but  to  love  and  pleafe  and  glorify 
God  is  all  :  Had  I  a  thoufand  fouls,  if  they  were 
worth  any  thing,  I  would  give  them  all  to  God ; 
but  I  have  nothing  to  give,  when  all  is  done.  It  is 
impoffible  for  any  rational  creature  to  be  happy 
without  ad:ing  all  for  God  :  God  himfelf  could  not 
make  him  happy  any  other  way.  I  long  to  be  in 
heaven,  praifmg  and  glorifying  God  with  the  holy 
angels  :  All  my  defire  is  to  glorify  God.  My  heart 
goes  out  to^the  burying  place  ;  it  feems  to  me  a  de- 
iirable  place  :  But  O  to  glorify  God  ;  that  is  it ; 
that  is  above  all.  It  is  a  great  comfort  to  me,  to 
think  that  I  have  done  a  little  for  God  in  the  world  : 
O  !  it  is  but  a  very  fmall  matter  ;  yet  I  have  done  a 
little  ;  and  I  lament  it,  that  1  have  not  done  more  for 
him.  There  is. nothing  in  the  world  worth  living 
for,  but  doing  good,  and  finilliing  God's  work,  do- 
ing the  work  that  Chrifl  did.  I  fee  nothing  elfe  in 
the  world,  that  can  yield  any  fatisfadion,  befides  liv- 
ing to  God,  pleafing  him,  and  doing  his  whole  will. 

My 


Mr.   DAVID   BR  AI  NERD.      2S^ 

My  greateft  joy  and  comfort  has  been,  to  do  fome- 
thing  for  promoting  the  intereft  of  rehgion,  and  the 
fouls  of  particular  perfons  :  And  now  in  my  illnefs, 
while  I  am  full  of  pain  and  diftrefs  from  day  to  day, 
all  the  comfort  I  have,  is  in  being  able  to  do  fome 
little  char,  orfmall  piece  of  work  for  God,  either  by 
fomcthing  that  I  fay,  or  by  writing,  or  fome  other 
way. 

He  intermingled  with  thefe  and  other  like  expref- 
fions,  many  pathetical  counfels  to  thofe  that  were 
about  him  ;  particularly  to  my  children  and 
fervants.  He  applied  himfelf  to  fome  of  my  young- 
er children  at  this  time  ;  calling  them  to  him,  and 
fpeaking  to  them  one  by  one  ;  fetting  before  them, 
in  a  very  plain  manner,  the  nature  and  effence  of 
true  piety,  and  its  great  importance  and  necellity  ; 
earneftly  warning  them  not  to  reft  in  any  thing  fhort 
of  that  true  and  thorough  change  of  heart,  and  a  life 
devoted  to  God  j  counfelling  them  not  to  be  ilack 
in  the  great  bufinefs  of  religion,  nor  in  the  leaft  to 
delay  it  ;  enforcing  his  counfels  with  this,  that  his 
words  were  the  words  of  a  dying  man  :  Said  he,  I 
fhall  die  here,  and  here  I  fhall  be  buried,  and  here 
you  will  fee  my  grave,  and  do  you  remember  what 
I  have  faid  to  you.  I  am  going  into  eternity  :  And  it 
isfweet  to  me  to  think  of  eternity;  theendleflhefsof  it 
makes  it  fweet :  But  O,  what  fhall  1  fay  to  the  eter- 
nity of  the  wicked  !  I  cannot  mention  it,  nor  think 
of  it:  The  thought  is  too  dreadful.  When  you  fee 
my  grave,  then  remember  what  I  faid  to  you  while 
I  was  alive  ;  then  think  with  yourfelf,  how  that 
man,  that  lies  in  that  grave,  counfelled  and  warn- 
ed me  to  prepare  for  death. 

His  body  feemed  to  be  marvclloufly  ftrengthened, 
through  the  inward  vigour  and  refrefMi^ent  of  his 
mind  ;  fo  that,  although  before  he  was  fo' weak  that 
})e  could  hardly  utter  a  fentence,  yet  now  he  contin- 
ued 


4S4  T  II  £     LIFE    OF 

lied  his  moft  afFedting  and  profitable  difcourfe  to  us 
for  more  than  an  hour,  with  fcarce  any  intermillion ; 
and  faid  of  it,  when  he  had  done,  it  was  the  lafl 
fermon  that  ever  he  fhould  preach. 

This  extraordinary  frame  of  mind  continued  the 
next  day;  of  which  he  fays  in  his  Dairy  as  fol- 
lows .  ] 

Lord^s  Day,  September  2o. — Was  ftill  in  a  fweetand 
comfortable  frame  ;  and  was  again  melted  with  de- 
fires  that  God  might  be  glorified,  and  with  longings 
to  love  and  live  to  him.  Longed  for  the  influences 
of  the  Divine  Spirit  to  defcend  on  minifters,  in  a  fpe- 
cial  manner.  And  O,  I  longed  to  be  with  God,  to 
behold  his  glory,  and  to  bow  in  his  prefence. 

[It  appears  by  what  is  noted  in  his  Diary,  both  of 
this  day,  and  the  evening  preceding,  that  his  mind 
at  this  time  was  much  imprefled  with  a  fenfe  of  the 
importance  of  the  work  of  the  miniftry,  and  the 
need  of  the  grace  of  God,  and  his  fpecial  fpiritual 
afiiftance  in  this  work  :    And  it  alfo  appeared  in 
what  he  exprelTed  in  converfation  ;  particularly  in 
his  difcourfe  to  his  brother  Ifrael,  who  was  then  a 
member  of  Yale-College  at  New-Haven,  and  had 
been  profecuting  his  fludies  and  academical  exercifcs 
there,  to  that  end,  that  he  might  be  fitted  for  the 
work  of  the  miniftry,  and  was  now  with  him*.     He 
now,  and  from  time  to  time,  in  this  his  dying  ftate, 
recommended  to  his  brother,  a  life  of  felf  denial,  of 
weanednefs  from  the  world,  and  devotednefs  to  God, 
and   an  earncft:  endeavour  to  obtain   much   of  the 
grace  of  God's  Spirit,  and  God's  gracious  influences 
on  his  heart  ;    reprefenting  the  great  need  which 
minifters  ftand  in  of  them,  and  the  unfpeakable  ben- 
efit of  them  from  his  own  experience.     Among  ma- 
ny 

*  'qhJIjAgung  gentlinan  vns  an  ingenious,  fcrlous,  ftudious,  and  hopefully  truly 
pious  PJlHL:  Tlicr«  appeared  in  him  many  cjualuies  giving  hope  ot  his-bein^-a 
great  bleflKih  his  day.  But  it  has  pleafed  God,  fiiice  the  death  of  his  brother,  to 
Take  hiiq  away  alfo.  He  died  that  winter,  at  New-Huven,  on  Jan.  6,  i7i7i^>  ^'^  •^ 
rervQ'is  fever,  afier  about  a  f  jviniglit's  illnefs^ 


Mr.    DAVID   BR  A  I  NERD.      285 

ny  other  exprtflions,  he  faid  thus  ;  When  minilWs 
feel  thefe  fpecial  gracious  influences  on  their  hearts, 
it  wonderfully  affifts  them  to  come  at  the  con- 
fciences  of  men,  and  as  it  were  to  handle  them  with 
hands  ;  whereas,  without  them,  whatever  rea- 
fon  and  oratory  we  make  ufe  of,  we  do  but  make  ufe 
of  ftumps,  inflead  of  hands.'* 

Monday,  September  21. — I  began  to  corred:  a  little 
volume  of  my  private  writings  :  God,  I  believe,  re- 
markably helped  me  in  it  ;  my  ftrength  was  fur- 
prifingly  lengthened  out,  and  my  thoughts  quick 
and  lively,  and  my  foul  refreflied,  hoping  it  might 
be  a  work  for  God.  O,  how  good,  how  fweet 
it  is,  to  labour  for  God  ! 

Tuefday,  September  22. — Was  again  employed  m 
reading  and  correcfting,  and  had  the  fame  fucccfs,  as 
the  day  before.  '  I  was  exceeding  weak ;  but  it 
feemed  to  refrefh  my  foul,  thus  to  fpend  time. 

IVednefday,  September  23. — I  finillied  my  correc- 
tions of  the  little  piece  forementioned,  and  felt  un- 
commonly peaceful :  It  feemed  as  if  I  had  now  done 
all  my  work  in  this  world,  and  ftood  ready  for  my 
call  to  a  better.  As  long  as  I  fee  any  thing  to  be 
done  for  God,  life  is  worth  having  :  But  O,  how 
vain  and  unworthy  it  is,  to  live  for  any  lower  end  \ 
This  day  I  indited  a  letter,  1  tliink,  of  great  impor- 
tance, to  the  Rev.  Mr.  Byram  in  Ncvv-Jerfey  :  O 
that  God  would  blcfs  and  fucceed  that  letter,  which 
was  written  for  the  benefit  of  his  church*  !  O  that 
God  would  purify  the  fins  of  Levi,  that  his  glory 
may  be  advanced  \  This  night,  I  endured  a  dread- 
ful turn,  wlierein  my  life  was  expedtcd  fcarce  an 
hour  or  minute  together.  But  blcfled  be  God,  I 
have  enjoyed  confiderable  fweetnefs  in  divine  things, 
this  week,  both  by  night  and  day.     . 

1'hurfday, 

*  It  was  concerning  the  qualifications  of  rn'm'tcrs,  ancL  tkt  examicstion  and  ILcccf- 
»o£  of  c^ndidaLcs  for  ihe  work  of  the  iriniHrv. 


a86  TheLIFEof 

VThurfday,  September  24. — My  ftrength  began  io 
fall  exceedingly  ;  which  looked  further  as  if  I  had 
done  all  my  work :  However,  I  had  ftrength  to  fold 
and  fuperfcribe  my  letter.  About  two  I  went  to  bed, 
being  weak  and  much  difordered,  and  lay  in  a  burn- 
ing fever  until  night,  without  any  proper  reft.  In 
the  evening  I  got  up,  having  lain  down  in  fome  of 
my  clothes  ;  but  was  in  the  greateft  diflrefs,  that 
ever  I  endured,  having  an  uncommon  kind  of  hic- 
cough ;  which  either  ftrangled  me,  or  threw  me  in- 
to a  ftraining  to  vomit;  and  at  the  fame  time  was 
diftrelfed  with  griping  pains.  O,  the  diftrefs  of 
this  evening  !  I  had  little  expe(5tation  of  my  living 
the  night  through,  nor  indeed  had  any  about  me  : 
And  I  longed  for  the  finifhing  moment !  I  was  oblig- 
ed to  repair  to  bed  by  fix  o*cIock ;  and  through 
mercy  enjoyed  fome  reft ;  but  was  grievoufly  dif- 
trefted  at  turns  with  the  hiccough.  My  foul  breath- 
ed after  God,  while  the  watcher  was  with  me  : 
When  (hall  I  come  to  God,  even  to  God,  my  ex- 
ceeding joy  ?  O  for  this  blefted  likenefs  ! 

Friday,  September  25. — This  day,  I  was  unfpeak- 
ably  weak,  and  little  better  than  fpeechlefs  all  the 
day  :  However,  I  was  able  to  write  a  little,  and  felt 
comfortably  in  fome  part  of  the  day.  O,  it  refrefti- 
ed  my  foul,  to  think  of  former  things,  of  defires  to 
glorify  God,  of  the  pleafurcs  of  living  to  him  !  O 
my  dear  God,  I  am  fpeedily  coming  to  thee,  I  hope  ! 
Haften  the  day,  O  Lord,  if  it  be  thy  blefted  will  :  O 
comey  Lord'JefuSy  co?7ie  quickly.  Amen.* 

Saturday,  September  26. — 1  felt  the  fweetnefs  of 
divine  things,  this  forenoon  ;  and  had  the  confola- 
tion  of  a  confcioufnefs  that  I  was  doing  fomething 
for  God. 

Lord*s 

*  This  WS3  the  lafl  that  ever  he  wrote  in  his  Diary  with  his  own  hand  : 
Though  it  is  continued  a  little  farther,  in  a  broken  manner ;  written  by  his  brolhf  r 
Ifrael,  but  indited  \>y  his  inoutU  in  this  hu  weak  and  dying  ftate. 


Mr.   DAVID    B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      287 

LorcVs  Day,  September  27. — This  was  a  very  com- 
fortable day  to  my  foul ;  1  think,  I  awoke  with 
God.  I  was  enabled  to  lift  up  my  foul  to  God, ear- 
ly this  morning  ;  and  while  T  had  little  bodily 
ftrength,  I  found  freedom  to  lift  up  my  heart  to 
God  for  myfelf  and  others.  Afterwards,  was  pleaf- 
ed  with  the  thoughts  of  fpeedily  entering  into  the 
iinfeen  world. 

[Early  this  morning,  as  one  of  the  family  came 
into  the  room,  he  exprefled  himfelf  thus  :  I  have 
had  more  pleafure  this  morning,  than  all  the  drunk- 
ards in  the  world  enjoy ;  if  it  were  all  extradted  ! 
So  much  did  he  cfteem  the  joy  of  .faith  above  the 
plea fu res  of  lin. 

He  felt,  that  morning, an  ufual  appetite  to  food,  with 
which  his  mind  feemed  to  be  exhilarated,  as  looking 
on  it  a  fign  of  the  very  near  approach  of  death  ;  and 
faid  upon  it,  I  was  born  on  a  Sabbath  day  ;  and  I 
have  reafon  to  think  I  was  new  born  on  a  Sabbath 
day  j  and  I  hope  I  fliall  die  on  this  Sabbath  day  :  I 
fhould  look  upon  it  as  a  favour,  if  it  may  be  the 
will  of  God  that  it  fhould  be  fo  :  I  long  for  the 
time.  O,  why  is  his  chariot  fo  long  in  coming  f 
Why  tarry  the  wheels  of  his  chariots  P  I  am  very 
willing  to  part  with  all  :  I  am  willing  to  part  with 
my  dear  brother  John,  and  never  to  fee  him  again, 
to  go  to  be  forever  with  the  Lord*.  O,  when  I  go 
there,  how  will  God's  dear  church  on  earth  be  up- 
on my  mind  ! 

Afterwards,  the  fame  morning,  being  afked  how 
he  did,  he  anfwered,  I  am  almoft  in  eternity  ;  I  long 
to  be  there.  My  work  is  done  ;  I  have  done  with 
all  my  friends  ;  all  the  world  is  nothing  to  me  ;  I 

long 

*  He  had,  before  this  exprefTcd  a  defire,  if  it  might  be  the  will  of  God,  to  !ivt 
;ntil  his  brother  rcturiifd  from  New-jerfey  :  Who,  when  he  wect  away,  inunded, 
t  poffible,  to  perform  his  journey  and  return  in  a  J'jttnight  ;  hoping  once  move  to, 
m.et  his  brother  in  the  land  of  the  living.  'J he  fcrUiight  was  now  n-^r  exp.'ied, 
-'.  faded  the  next  day. 


a88  T  H  K    L  I  F  E    o  F 

long  to  be  in  heaven,  praifing  and  glorifying  God 
with  the  holy  angels  :  All  my  defire  is  to  glorify  God. 

During  the  whole  of  thefe  laft  two  weeks  of  his 
life  he  ieemed  to  continue  in  this  frame  of  heart, 
loofe  from  all  the  world,  as  having  done  his  work, 
and  done  with  all  things  here  below,  having  nothing 
to  do  but  to  die,  and  abiding  in  an  earneft  defire 
and  expectation  of  the  happy  moment,  when  his 
foul  fhould  take  its  flight,  and  go  to  a  ftate  of  per- 
fe(5lion  of  holinefs,  and  perfedl  glorifying  and  en- 
joying God,  manifefted  in  a  variety  of  expreflions. 
He  faid,  that  the  confideration  of  the  day  of  death, 
and  the  day  of  judgment,  had  a  long  time  been  pe- 
culiarly fweet  to  him.  He  from  time  to  time  fpake 
of  his  being  willing  to  leave  the  body  and  the  world 
immediately,  that  day,  that  night,  and  that  moment, 
if  it  was  the  will  of  God.  He  alfo  was  much  in  ex- 
prefling  his  longings  that  the  church  of  Chrift  on 
earth  might  flourilh,  and  Chrift's  kingdom  here 
might  be  advanced,  notwithftanding  he  was  about 
to  leave  the  earth,  and  fhould  not  with  his  eyes  be- 
hold the  defirablc^vent,  nor  be  inftrumental  in  pro- 
moting it.  He  faid  to  me,  one  morning  as  I  came 
into  the  room,  my  thoughts  have  been  employed  on 
the  old  dear  theme,  the  profperity  of  God's  church 
on  earth.  As  I  waked  out  of  fleep,  I  was  led  to  cry 
for  the  pouring  out  of  God*s  fpirit,  and  the  advance- 
ment of  Chrift's  kingdom,  which  the  dear  Redeem- 
er did  and  fuffered  (o  much  for.  It  is  this  that  efpecial- 
ly  makes  me  long  for  it.  He  exprcfled  much  hope 
that  a  glorious  advancement  of  ChrilVs  kingdom 
was  near  at  hand. 

He  once  told  me,  that  he  had  formerly  longed  for 
the  outpouring  of  the  fpirit  of  God,  and  the  glori- 
ous times  of  the  church,  and  hoped  they  were  com- 
ing ;  and  fhould  have  been  willing  to  have  lived  to 
promote  religion  at  that  time,  if  that  had  been  the 

will 


Mr.  DAVID  BR  AI  NERD.      289 

will  of  God  ;  but,  fays  he,  I  am  willing  it  fhould 
be  as  it  is  ;  I  would  not  have  the  choice  to  make 
for  myfelf  for  ten  thoufand  worlds.  He  exprefled, 
on  his  deathbed,  a  full  perfuafion,  that  he  (hould 
in  heaven  fee  the  profperity  of  the  church  on  earth, 
and  Ihould  rejoice  with  Chrift  therein  ;  and  the  con- 
iideralion  of  it  feemed  to  be  highly  pleafing  and 
i'atisfying  to  his  mind. 

He  alfo  ftill  dwelt  much  on  the  great  importance  of 
the  work  of  miniftersof  the  gofpel ;  and  exprefled  his 
longings,  that  they  might  be  filled  with  the  fpirit 
of  God  j  and  manifefted  much  defire  to  fee  fome  of 
the  neighbouring  minifters,  whom  he  had  fome 
acquaintance  with,  and  vvhofe  fincere  friendlbip  he 
was  confident  of,  that  he  might  converfe  freely  with 
them  on  that  fubjedt,  before  he  died.  And  it  fo 
happened,  that  he  had  opportunity  with  fome  of 
them  according  to  his  defirc. 

Another  thing  that  lay  much  on  his  heart,  and 
that  he  fpake  of,  from  time  to  time,  in  thefe  near 
approaches  of  death,  was  the  fpiritual  profperity  of 
his  own  congregation  of  chriftian  Indians  in  New- 
Jerfey  :  And  when  he  fpake  of  them,  it  was  with 
peculiar  tendernefs  ;  fo  that  his  fpeech  would  be 
prefently  interrupted  and  drowned  with  tears. 

He  alfo  exprefTed  much  fatisfadion  in  the  dif- 
pofals  of  Providence,  with  regard  to  the  circum- 
flances  of  his  death  ;  particularly  that  God  had 
before  his  death  given  him  the  opportunity  he  had 
liad  in  Bofton,  vvitli  fo  many  confiderable  pcrfons, 
miniflcrs  and  others,  to  give  in  his  tcflimony  for  God, 
and  againft  fiilfe  religion,  and  many  miftakes  that 
lead  to  it  and  promote  it  ;  and  there  to  lay  before 
pious  and  charjtable  gentlemen,  the  flate  of  the  In- 
dians and  their  ncceffuies,  to  fo  good  efFed: ;  and  that 
God  had  /jnce  given  liim  opportunity  to  write  to  them 
farther  concerning  thefe  afiairs  ;  and  to  write  other 

T  letters 


290  T  H  E      L  I  F  E      O  F 

letters  of  importance,  that  he  hoped  might  be  of 
good  influence  with  regard  to  the  ftate  of  religion 
among  the  Indians,  and  elfe where,  after  his  death. 
He  exprefled  great  thankfulnefs  to  God  for  his  mer- 
cy in  thefe  things.  He  alfo  mentioned  it  as  what  he 
accounted  a  merciful  circumflance  of  his  death,  that 
he  fhould  die  here.  And  fpeaking  of  thefe  things, 
he  faid,  God  had  granted  him  all  his  defire  ;  and 
fignified,  that  now  he  could  with  the  greater  alacrity- 
leave  the  world.] 

Monday y  September  28. — I  was  able  to  read,  and 
make  fome  few  corrections  in  my  private  writings ; 
but  found  I  could  not  write,  as  I  had  done ;  I  found 
myfelf  fenfibly  declined  in  all  refpedts.  It  has  been 
only  from  a  little  while  before  noon,  until  about  one 
or  two  o*clock,  that  I  have  been  able  to  do  any 
thing,  for  fome  time  paft  :  Yet  this  refreflied  my 
heart,  that  I  could  do  any  thing,  either  publick  or 
private,  that  I  hoped  was  for  God, 

[This  evening  he  was  fuppofed  to  be  dying  :   Hs 
thought  fo  himfelf,  and  was  thought  fo  by  thofe 
who  were  about  him.     He  feemed  glad  at  the  ap- 
pearance of  the  near  approach  of  death.     He  was 
almoft  fpeechlefs,  but  his  lips  appeared  to  move  ; 
and  one  that  fat  very  near  him,  heard  him  utter  fuch 
expreilions  as  thefe.  Come,  Lordjcfus,  come  quickly, 
O,  why  is  his  chariot  Jo  long  in  coming  !     After  he 
revived,  he  blamed  himfelf  for  having  been  too  ea- 
ger to  be  gone.     And  in  exprefling  what  he  found 
in  the  frame  of  his  mind  at  that  time,  he  fliid,  he 
then  found  an  inexprcflibly  Iweet  love  to  thofe  that 
he  looked  upon  as  belonging  to  Chrift,   beyond  al- 
moft all  that  ever  he  felt  before  ;  fo  that  it  feemed, 
to  ufe  his  own  words,  like  a  little  piece  of  heaven 
to  have  one  of  them  near  him.     And  being  afked 
whether  he  heard  the  prayer  that  was,  at  his  defire, 
nj^de  with  him  j  he  faid,  yes,  he  heard  every  word, 

and 


M  R.    D  A  V  I  D  B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      291 

and  had  an  uncommon  fenfe  of  the  things  that  were 
uttered  in  that  prayer,  and  that  every  word  reached 
his  heart. 

On  the  evening  of  the  next  day,  viz.  Tuefday, 
September  29,  as  he  lay  in  his  bed,  he  feemed  to  be 
in  an  extraordinary  frame ;  his  mind  greatly  engag- 
ed in  lueet  meditations  concerning  the  profperity 
of  Zion  :  There  being  prefent  here  at  that  time  two 
young  gentlemen  of  his  acquaintance,  that  were 
candidates  for  the  minidry,  he  defired  us  all  to  unite 
in  finging  a  Pfalm  on  that  fubjedt,  even  Zion*s 
profperity.  And  on  his  defire  we  fung  a  part  of 
the  ciid  Pfalm.  This  feemed  much  to  refrefh  and 
revive  him,  and  gave  him  new  flrength  ;  fo  that, 
though  before  he  could  fcarcely  fpeak  at  all,  now  he 
proceeded,  with  fome  freedom  of  fpeech,  to  give 
his  dying  counfels  to  thofe  two  young  gentlemen 
forementioned,  relating  to  their  preparation  for,  and 
profecution  of  that  great  work  of  the  miniftry  they 
were  deiigned  for ;  and  in  particular,  earneftly  recom- 
mending to  them  frequent  fccret  failing  and  prayer  : 
And  enforced  his  counfel  with  regard  to  this,  from 
his  own  experience  of  the  great  comfort  and  benefit 
of  it;  which,  faid  he,  I  fhould  not  mention,  were 
it  not  that  I  am  a  dying  perfon.  And  after  he  had 
finifhed  his  counfel,  he  made  a  prayer,  in  the  audi- 
ence of  us  all  ;  wherein,  befides  praying  for  this 
family,  for  his  brethren,  and  thofe  candidates  for 
the  miniftry,  and  for  his  own  congregation,  he  earn- 
cftly  prayed  for  the  reviving  and  flourilliing  of  re- 
ligion in  the  world. 

Until  now  he  had  every  day  fat  up  part  of  the 
day  ;  but  after  this  he  never  rofe  from  his  bed.] 

l^ydnefday,  Sep!eml>er  30.— I  was  obliged  to  keep 
my  bed  the  whole  day,  through  weaknefs.  However, 
redeemed  a  little  tinae,  and  with  the  help  of  my 
brother,  read  and  corre<5ted  about  a  dozen  pages  ia 
yny  M.S.  giving  an  account  of  my  converfion. 

T  %  Ihurfday, 


A- 


292  The    life    of 

Thurfday,  OBober  i . — I  endeavoured  again  to  do 
fomething  by  way  of  writing,  but  foon  found  my 
powers  of  body  and  mind  utterly  fail.  Felt  not  fo 
fweetly  as  when  I  was  able  to  do  fometbing  that  I 
hoped  would  do  fome  good.  In  the  evening,  was 
difcompofed  and  wholly  delirious  ;  but  it  was  not 
long  before  God  was  pleafed  to  give  me  fome  fleep, 
and  fully  compofed  my  mind*.  O,  bleffed  be 
God  for  his  great  goodnefs  to  me,  fince  I  was  {o 
low  at  Mr.  Bromfield's,  on  Thurfday,  June  18  laft 
paft.  He  has,  except  thofe  few  minutes,  given  me 
the  clear  exercife  of  my  reafon,  and  enabled  me  to 
labour  much  for  him,  in  things  both  of  a  publick 
and  private  nature  ;  and,  perhaps,  to  do  more  good 
than  I  fhould  have  done  if  I  had  been  well  ;  befides 
the  comfortable  influences  of  his  bleffed  Spirit,  with 
which  he  has  been  pleafed  to  refrelli  my  foul.  May 
his  name  have  all  the  glory  forever  and  ever.  Amen. 

Friday^  OBober  2. — My  foul  was  this  day,  at 
turns,  fweetly  fet  on  God  :  I  longed  to  be  with  him, 
that  I  might  behold  his  glory.  I  felt  fweetly  dif- 
pofed  to  commiit  all  to  him,  even  my  deareft  friends, 
my  deareft  flock,  and  my  abfent  brother,  and  all  my 
concerns  for  time  and  eternity.  O  that  his  king- 
dom might  come  in  the  world  ;  that  they  might  all 
love  and  glorify  him,  for  what  he  is  in  himfelf ;  and 
that  the  bleffed  Redeemer  might  7?<?  of  the  travail  of 
his  foul  and  be  fatisjied.  O,  covie^  Lord  ^Jefus^  come 
quickly.     Amen-f*. 

[The  next  evening  we  very  much  expelled  his 
brother  John  from  New-Jerfey  ;  it  being  about  a 
week  after  the  time  that  he  propofed  for  his  return, 
when  he  went  away.     And  though  our  expectations 

were 

*  From  this  time  forward,  he  had  the  free  ufc  of  his  reafon  until  the  day  before  - 
his  death  ;  excepting  that  at  fome  times  he  appeared  a  little  loft  for  a  moment,  at 
firft  waking  out  of  fleep. 

+  Here  ends  his  Diary  :    Thefe  are  the  laft  words  that  arc  written  ia  it,  either  by 
his  own  hftodj  01  by  any  othw  from  Jiis  raoutb, 


Mr.   DAVID   BR  A  IN  ERD.      293 

were  ftill  difappointed,  yet  Mr.  Brainerd  feemed  to 
continue  unmoved,  in  the  fame  calm  and  peaceful 
frame,  that  he  had  before  manifefted ;  as  having  re- 
figned  all  to  God,  and  having  done  with  his  friends, 
and  with  all  things  below. 

On  the  morning  of  the  next  day,  being  Lord's 
Day,  Odiober  4,  as  my  daughter  Jerufha,  who  chief- 
ly tended  him,  came  into  the  room,  he  looked  on 
her  very  pleafantly,  and  faid,  Dear  Jerufha,  are  you 
willing  to  part  with  me  ?  I  am  quite  willing  to 
part  with  you  :  I  am  willing  to  part  with  all  my 
friends  :  I  am  willing  to  part  with  my  dear  brother 
John,  although  I  love  him  the  beft  of  any  creature 
living  :  I  have  committed  him  and  all  my  friends 
to  God,  and  can  leave  them  with  God.  Though  if 
I  thought  I  fhould  not  fee  you,  and  be  happy  with 
you  in  another  world,  I  could  not  bear  to  part  with 
you.    But  we  fliall  fpend  an  happy  eternity  together ! 

In  the  evening,  as  one  came  into  the  room 
with  a  Bible  in  her  hand,  he  expreffed  himfelf  thus  ; 
O,  that  dear  book  !  that  lovely  book  !  I  (liall  foon 
fee  it  opened  !  The  myfteries  that  are  in  it,  and  the 
myfteries  of  God*s  providence,  will  be  all  unfolded  ! 

His  diftemper  now  very  apparently  preyed  on 
his  vitals  in  an  extraordinary  manner  :  Not  by  a 
fudden  breaking  of  ulcers  in  his  lungs,  as  at  Bofton, 
but  by  a  conilant  difcharge  of  purulent  matter,  in 
great  quantities  :  So  that  what  he  brought  up  by 
expeftoration,  feemed  to  be  as  it  were  mouthfuls  of 
almoft  clear  pus  ;  which  was  attended  with  very 
great  inward  pain  and  diitrefs. 

On  Tuefday,  Ocflober  6,  he  lay  for  a  coniiderablc 
time,  as  if  he  were  dying.  At  which  time,  he  was 
heard  to  utter,  in  broken  whifpcrs,  fuch  expreffion^ 
as  thcfe  :  He  will  come,  he  will  not  tarry.  I  fliall 
foon  be  in  glory.  1  Ihall  foon  glorify  God  with 
the  angels.     But  after  fomc  time  he  revived. 

T  2  The 


294  The    LIFE    of 

The  next  day,  viz.  Wednefday,  Odlober  7,  his 
brother  John  arrived,  being  returned  from  New- 
Jerfey  ;  where  he  had  been  detained  much  longer 
than  he  intended,  by  a  mortal  ficknefs  prevailing 
among  the  chriftian  Indians,  and  by  fome  other 
things  in  their  circumftances  that  made  his  ftay 
with  them  neccfTary.  Mr.  Brainerd  was  affedted 
and  refrefhed  with  feeing  him,  and  appeared  full/ 
fatisfied  with  the  reafons  of  his  delay  ;  feeing  the 
intereft  of  religion  and  of  the  fouls  of  his  people  re- 
quired it. 

The  next  day,  Thurfday,  Odlober  8,  he  was  in 
great  diftrefs  and  agonies  of  body  ;  and  for  the  big- 
ger part  of  the  day,  was  much  difordered  as  to  the 
exercife  of  his  reafon.  In  the  evening  he  was  more 
compofed,  and  had  the  ufe  of  his  reafon  well  ;  but 
the  pain  of  his  body  continued  and  increafed.  He 
told  me  it  was  impoffible  for  any  to  conceive  of  the 
diftrefs  he  felt  in  his  breaft.  He  manifefted  much 
concern  left  he  fhould  diftionour  God,  by  impatience 
under  his  extreme  agony  ;  which  was  fuch,  that  he 
faid,  the  thought  of  enduring  it  one  minute  longer 
was  almoft  infuppoftable.  He  defired  that  others 
would  be  much  in  lifting  up  their  hearts  continual- 
ly to  God  for  him,  that  God  would  fupport  him, 
and  give  him  patience.  He  fignified  that  he  ex- 
pected to  die  that  night  ;  but  feemed  to  fear  a  long- 
er delay  :  And  the  difpofition  of  his  mind  with  re- 
gard to  death  appeared  ftill  the  fame  that  it  had 
been  all  along.  And  notwithftanding  his  bodily 
agonies,  yet  the  intereft  of  Zion  lay  ftill  with  great 
weight  on  his  mind  ;  as  appeared  by  fome  confider- 
able  difcourfe  he  had  that  evening  with  the  Rev. 
Mr.  Billing,  one  of  the  neighbouring  minifters,  who 
was  then  prefent,  concerning  the  great  importance 
of  the  work  of  the  miniftry,  &c.  And  afterwards, 
when  it  was  very  late  in  the  night,  he  had  much 

very 


Mr.   DAVID    BRAINERD.      295 

very  proper  and  profitable  difcourfe  with  his  brother 
John,  concerning  his  congregation  in  New-Jerfey, 
and  the  intereft  of  rehgion  among  the  Indians.  In 
the  latter  part  of  the  night,  his  bodily  diftrefs  feem- 
ed  to  rife  to  a  greater  height  than  ever  ;  and  he  faid 
to  thofe  then  about  him,  that  it  was  another  thing 
to  die,  than  people  imagined  ;  explaining  him- 
felf  to  mean  that  they  were  not  aware  what  bodily 
pain  and  anguilh  is  undergone  before  death.  To- 
wards day,  his  eyes  fixed  ;  and  he  continued  lying 
immoveable,  until  about  fix  o'clock  in  the  morning, 
and  then  expired,  on  Friday,  0<5lober9,  1747,  when 
his  foul,  as  we  may  well  conclude,  was  received  by 
his  dear  Lord  and  Mafler,  as  an  eminently  faithful 
fervant,  into  that  flate  of  perfection  of  holinefs,  and 
fruition  of  God,  which  he  had  fo  often  and  fo  ar- 
dently longed  for  ;  and  was  welcomed  by  the  glo- 
rious afTembly  of  the  upper  world,  as  one  peculiarly 
fitted  to  join  them  in  their  blelled  employments 
and  enjoyments. 

Much  refpedt  was  fhewn  to  his  memory  at  his 
funeral  ;  which  was  on  the  Monday  following,  af- 
ter a  fermon  preached  the  fame  day,  on  that  folemn 
occafion.  His  funeral  was  attended  by  eight  of  the 
neighbouring  minifters,  and  feventeen  other  gentle- 
men of  liberal  education,  and  a  great  concourfe  of 
people. 


T  4  So.^ie 


2g6  TheLIFEop 


Some  further  REMAINS  of  the  Rev.  Mr.  DA- 
VID BRAINERD. 

Some  Sighs  of  Godliness. 

The  difjnguijhing  Marks  of  a  true  Christian, 
take?i  from  one  of  my  old  Manufcripts  ;  where  I 
wrote  as  I  felt  and  experiencedy  and  not  from  any 
confiderable  degree  of  doBrinal  knowledge  or  ac- 
quaintance with  the  fentiments  of  others  in  this 
point, 

I.  T  TE  has  a  true  knowledge  of  the  glory  and  ex- 
xl  cellency  of  God,  that  he  is  moft   worthy  to 
be  loved  and  praifed  for  his  own  divine  perfec- 
tions.    Pfal.  cxlv.  3. 

2.  God  is  his  portion.  Pfal.lxxiii.'25.  And  God's 
glory,  his  great  concern.     Matth.  vi.  22. 

3.  Holinefs  is  his  delight  ;  nothing  he  fo  much 
longs  for,  as  to  be  holy,  as  God  is  holy.  Phil, 
iii.  9— 12. 

4.  Sin  is  his  greateft  enemy.  This  he  hates  for 
its  own  nature,  for  what  it  is  in  itfelf,  being  con- 
trary to  a  holy  God.  Jer.  ii.  i.  And  confequently 
he  hates  all  fin.     Rom.  vii.  24.     i  John  iii.  9. 

5.  The  laws  of  God  alfo  are  his  delight.  Pfal. 
cxix.  97.  Rom.  vii.  22.  Thefe  he  obferves,  not 
out  of  conftraint,  from  a  fervile  fear  of  hell  ;  but 
they  are  his  choice.  Pfal.  cxix.  30.  The  flrid 
obfervance  of  them  is  not  his  bondage,  but  his  great- 
eft  liberty.     Verfe  45. 


LETTERS, 


Mr.   DAVID  BR  A  I  NERD.      297 

LETTERS,  written  by  Mr.  BRAINERD  to 
his  FRIENDS. 

To  his  Brother  John,  at  Tale-College  in  New-Haven, 

Kaunaumeek,  December  27,  1743. 

Dear  Brother, 
LONG  to  fee  you,  and  know  how  you  fare  in 


I 


your  journey  through  a  world  of  inexpreffible  for- 
row,  where  we  are  compafTed  about  with  vanity, 
confufion  and  vexation  of  fpirit,  I  am  more  weary 
of  life,  I  think,  than"  ever  I  was.  The  whole  world 
appears  to  me  like  a  huge  vacuum,  a  vaft  empty 
fpace,  whence  nothing  defirable,  or  at  leaft  fatisfac- 
tory,  can  pofTibly  be  derived  ;  and  I  long  daily  to 
die  more  and  more  to  it  ;  even  though  I  obtain  not 
that  comfort  from  fpiritual  things,  which  I  earneft- 
ly  defire.  Worldly  pleafures,  fuch  as  flow  from 
greatnefs,  riches,  honours,  and  fenfual  gratifications, 
are  infinitely  worfe  than  none.  May  the  Lord  de- 
liver us  more  and  more  from  thefe  vanities.  I  have 
fpent  moft  of  the  fall  and  winter  hitherto  in  a  very 
weak  ftate  of  body  ;  and  fbmetimes  under  preffing 
inward  trials  and  ipiritual  conflidts  :  But  having  ob^ 
tained  help  from  God^  I  continue  to  this  day  ;  and  am 
now  fomething  better  in  health,  than  I  was  fometime 
ago.  I  find  nothing  more  conducive  to  a  life  of 
chriftianity,  than  a  diligent,  induftrious,  and  faith- 
ful improvement  of  precious  time.  Let  us  then 
faithfully  perform  that  bufinefs,  which  is  allotted  to 
us  by  Divine  Providence,  to  the  utmoil  of  our  bodi- 
ly ftrength,  and  mental  vigour.  JVhy  Ihould  we 
fmk,  and  grow  difcouraged,  with  any  particular  tri- 
als, and  perplexities,  we  are  called  to  encounter  in 
;he  world  ?  Death  and  eternity  are  juil  before  us  ;  a 

few 


298  T  H  E    L  I  F  E    o  F 

few  tofling  billows  more  will  waft  us  into  the  world 
of  fpirits,  and,  we  hope,  through  infinite  grace,  into 
endlefs  pleafures,  and  uninterrupted  reft  and  peace. 
Let  us  then  run  with  patience^  the  race  fet  before 
us,  Heb.  xii.  i.  2.  And  O  that  we  could  de- 
pend more  upon  the  living  God,  and  lefs  upon  our 
own  wifdom  and  ftrength.  Dear  brother,  may  the 
God  of  all  grace  comfort  your  heart,  and  fucceed  your 
ftudics,  and  make  you  an  infirument  of  good  to  his 
people  in  your  day.  This  is  the  conilant  prayer  of 
Your  afFedlionate  brother, 

DAVID  BRAINERD. 

To  his  Brother  Israel,  at  Haddam. 

Kaunaumeek,  January  21,  ii^s,\ 

My  dear  Brother, 

-THERE  is  but  one    thing,  that  deferves 


our  higheft  care  and  moft  ardent  delires  ;  and 
that  is,  that  we  may  anfwer  the  great  end,  for 
which  we  were  made  ;  viz.  to  glorify  that  God, 
who  has  given  us  our  beings  and  all  our  comforts, 
and  to  do  all  the  good  we  poffibly  can,  to  our  fellow 
men,  while  we  live  in  the  world  ;  And  verily  life  is 
not  worth  the  having,  if  it  be  not  improved  for  this 
noble  end  and  purpofe.  Yet,  alas,  how  little  is  this 
thought  of  among  mankind  !  Moft  men  feem  to 
live  to  themfelves,  without  much  regard  to  the  glo- 
ry of  God,  or  the  good  of  their  fellow  creatures  ; 
they  earneftly  defire,  and  eagerly  purfue  after  the 
riches,  the  honours,  and  the  pleafures  of  life,  as  if 
they  really  fuppofed,  that  wealth,  or  greatnefs,  or 
merriment,  could  make  their  immortal  fouls  happy. 
But  alas,  what  falfe  and  delufive  dreams  are  thele  1 
And  how  miferable  will  thofe  ere  long  be,  who  are 
not  awaked  out  of  them,  to  fee  that  all  their  happi- 

nels 


Mr.    DAVID   BRAINERD.      299 

nefs  confifts  in  living  to  God,  and  becoming  holy  as 
he  is  holy  !  O,  may  you  never  fall  into  the  tempers 
and  vanities,  the  lenluality  and  folly  of  the  prefent 
world.  You  are,  by  Divine  Providence,  left  as  it 
were  alone  in  a  wide  world,  to  ad:  for  yourfelf  :  Be 
fure  then  to  remem.ber,  it  is  a  world  of  temptation. 
You  have  no  earthly  parents  to  be  the  means  of 
forming  your  youth  to  piety  and  virtue,  by  their  pi- 
ous examples,  and  I'eafonable  counfels  :  Let  this 
then  excite  you  with  greater  diligence  and  fervency 
to  look  up  to  the  Father  of  Mercies  for  grace  and  af- 
liflance  againft  all  the  vanities  of  the  world.  And 
if  you  would  glorify  God,  anfwer  his  juft  expeda- 
tions  from  you,  and  make  your  own  foul  happy  in 
this  and  the  coming  world,  obierve  thefe  few  direc- 
tions ;  though  not  from  a  father,  yet  from  a  broth- 
er who  is  touched  with  a  tender  concern  for  your 
prefent  and  future  happinefs.     And, 

Firji,  Refolve  upon,  and  daily  endeavour  to  prac- 
tife  a  life  of  ferioulnefs,  and  itridt  fobriety.  The 
wife  man  will  tell  you  the  great  advantage  of  fucha 
life,  Ecclef.  vii.  3.  Think  of  the  life  of  Ciiriil  ;  and 
when  you  can  find  that  he  was  pi^afed  with  jelling  and 
vain  merriment,  then  you  may  mdulgeitin  yourfelf. 

Again,  Be  careful  to  make  a  good  improvement  of 
precious  time.  When  you  ceale  from  labour,  fill 
up  your  time  in  reading,  meditation,  and  prayer  : 
And  while  your  hands  are  labouring,  let  your  heart 
be  employed,  as  much  as  poiTible,  in  divine  thoughts. 

Further,  Take  heed  that  you  faithfully  pertorm 
the  bufinefs  you  have  to  do  in  the  world,  from  a  re- 
gard to  the  commands  of  God  ;  and  not  from  an 
ambitious  defire  of  being  eflccmed  better  than  oth- 
ers. Wefhould  always  look  upon  ourfelves  as  God's 
fervants,  placed  in  God's  world,  to  do  his  work  ; 
and  accordingly  labour  faithfully  for  him  ;  not  with 
a  defign  to  grow  rich  and  great,  but  to  glorify  God, 
J^nd  do  all  the  good  we  poflibly  can. 

Again, 


§00  1"  H  E     L   I   F   E      O  F 

Again^  Never  exped:  any  fcitlsfadlion  or  happi- 
nefs  from  the  world.  If  you  hope  for  happinefs  ia 
the  world,  hope  for  it  from  God,  and  not  from  the 
world.  Do  not  think  you  fhall  be  more  happy,  if 
you  live  to  fuch  or  fuch  a  ftate  of  life,  if  you  live 
to  be  for  yourfelf,  to  be  fettled  in  the  world,  or  if 
you  fhould  gain  an  eftate  in  it  :  But  look  upon  it 
that  you  fhall  then  be  happy,  when  you  can  be  con* 
ftantly  employed  for  God,  and  not  for  yourfelf ; 
and  defire  to  live  in  this  world,  only  to  do  and  fuf- 
fer  what  God* allots  to  you.  When  you  can  be  of 
the  fpirit  and  temper  of  angels,  who  are  willing  to 
come  down  into  this  lower  world,  to  perform  what 
God  commands  them,  though  their  defires  are  heav- 
€nly,  and  not  in  the  leaft  fet  on  earthly  things,  then 
you  will  be  of  that  temper  that  you  ought  to  have. 
Coloff.  iii.  2. 

Once  more,  Never  think  that  you  can  live  to  God 
by  your  own  power  or  ftrength  ;  but  always  look 
to  and  rely  on  him  for  affiflance,  yea,  for  all  llrength 
and  grace.  There  is  no  greater  truth,  than  this, 
nat  we  can  do  nothing  of  ourf elves  ;  John  xv.  5. 
and  2  Cor.  iii.  5.  Yet  nothing  but  our  own  expe- 
rience can  effe(5lually  teach  it  to  us.  Indeed  we  are 
a  long  time  in  learning,  that  all  our  ilrength  and  fal- 
vation  is  in  God.  This  is  a  life, that  I  think  noun- 
converted  man  can  poffibly  live  ;  and  yet  it  is  a  life 
that  every  godly  foul  is  preffing  after,  in  fome  good 
meafure.  Let  it  then  be  your  great  concern,  thus  to 
devote  yourfelf  and  your  all  to  God. 

I  long  to  fee  you,  that  1  may  fav  much  more  to 
you  than  I  now  can,  for  your  benefit  and  welfare  ; 
but  I  defire  to  commit  you  to,  and  leave  you  with 
the  Father  of  Mercies,  and  God  of  all  grace  ;  praying 
that  you  may  be  directed  fafely  through  an  evil  world, 
to  God's  heavenly  kingdom. 

I  am  your  affecftionate  loving  brother, 

DAVID  BPvAINERD. 

To 


Mr.   DAVID   BRAIN  ERD.      301 

To  ^  Special  Friend. 

The  Forks  of  Delaware,  July  31,  1744. 

■CERTAINLY  the  greateft,  thenobleft  pleaf- 


ure  of  intelligent  creatures  muft  refult  from  their  ac- 
quaintance with  the  bleffed  God,  and  with  their  own 
rational  and  immortal  fouls.  And  O,  how  divinely 
fweet  and  entertaining  is  it,  to  look  into  our  own 
fouls,  when  we  can  find  all  our  powers  and  paffions 
united  and  engaged  in  purfuit  after  God,  our  whole 
fouls  longing  and  pallionately  breathing  after  a  con- 
form.ity  to  him,  and  the  full  enjoyment  of  him  1 
Verily  there  are  no  hours  pafs  away  with  fo  much 
divine  pleafure,  as  thofe  that  are  fpent  in  commun- 
ing with  God  and  our  own  hearts.  O,  how  fweet 
is  a  fpirit  of  devotion,  a  fpirit  of  ferioufnefs  and  di- 
vine folemnity,  a  fpirit  of  gofpel  fimplicity,  love, 
tendernefs  1  O  how  defirable,  and  how  profitable  to 
the  chriftian  life,  is  a  fpirit  of  holy  watchfulnefs, 
and  godly  jealoufy  over  ourfelves  j  when  our  fouls 
are  afraid  of  nothing  fo  much  as  that  we  fhall  grieve 
and  offend  the  bleffed  God,  whom  at  fuch  times  we 
apprehend,  or  atleafl:  hope,  to  be  a  father  and  friend  ; 
whom  we  then  love  and  long  to  pleafe,  rather  than 
to  be  happy  ourfelves ;  or  at  leafl  we  delight  to  derive 
our  happinefs  from  pleafing  and  glorifying  him  ! 
Surely  this  is  a  pious  temper,  worthy  of  the  highefl 
ambition  and  clofefl  purfuit  of  intelligent  creatures 
and  holy  chriftians.  O  how  vaflly  fuperiour  is  the 
pleafure,  peace,  and  fatisfadion  derived  from  thefe 
divine  frames,  to  that  which  we,  alas,  fometimes 
purfue  in  things  impertinent  and  trifling  !  Our  own 
bitter  experience  teaches  us,  that  hi  the  midji  <?/fucb 
laughter  the  heart  is  forrowfuly  and  there  is  no  true 
fatisfaction  but  in  God.  But,  alas  !  How  fhall  we 
obtain  and  retain  this  fweet  fpirit  of  religion  and  de- 
votion ?  Let  us  follow  the  apoflle's  dired:ion,  Phil. 

ii,  , 


302  TheLIFEof 

ii.  12.  and  labour  upon  the  encouragement  he  there 
mentions,  verfe  13.  For  it  is  God  only  can  afford 
us  this  favour  ;  and  he  will  be  fought  to,  and  it  is  fit 
we  fhould  wait  upon  him  for  i'o  rich  a  mercy.  O, 
may  the  God  of  all  grace  afford  us  the  grace  and  in- 
fluences of  his  Divine  Spirit  ;  and  help  us  that  we 
may  from  our  hearts  efteem  it  our  greateft  liberty 
and  happinefs,  that  whether  we  livey  we  may  live  to 
the  Lord,  or  whether  we  die^  we  may  die  to  the  Lord  ; 
that  in  life  and  death  we  may  be  his. 

I  am  in  a  very  poor  flate  of  health  j  I  think,  fcarce 
ever  poorer  :  But  through  divine  goodnefs,  1  am  not 
difcontented  under  my  weaknefs,  and  confinement 
to  this  wildernefs  :  I  blefs  God  for  this  retirement. 
I  never  was  more  thankful  for  any  thing,  than  I  have 
been  of  late  for  the  neceiTity  1  am  under  of  felf  denial 
in  many  refpe(5ts.  I  love  to  be  a  pilgrim  and  flran- 
ger  in  this  wildernefs  :  It  feems  moll:  fit  for  fuch  a 
poor,  ignorant,  worthlefs,  defpifed  creature  as  1.  I 
would  not  change  my  prefent  miflion  for  any  other 
bufinefs  in  the  whole  world.  I  may  tell  you  freely, 
without  vanity  and  oftentation,  God  has  of  late  giv- 
en me  great  freedom  and  fervency  in  prayer,  when 
I  have  been  fo  weak  and  feeble,  my  nature  feemed 
as  if  it  would  fpeedily  dilfolve.  I  feel  as  if  my  all 
was  loft,  and  1  was  undone  for  this  world,  if  the 
poor  heathen  may  not  be  converted.  I  feel  in  gen- 
eral, different  from  what  I  did  when  I  favv  you  laft  ; 
at  leaft,  more  crucified  to  all  the  enjoyments  of  life. 
It  would  be  very  refrefhing  to  me,  to  fee  you  here  in 
this  defert  ;  efpecially  in  my  weak  difconfolate 
hours  :  But,  I  think  1  could  be  content  never  to  lee 
you,  or  any  of  my  friends  again  in  this  world,  if 
God  would  blefs  my  labours  here  to  the  converfion 
of  the  poor  Indians. 

I  have  much  that  I  could   willingly  communi- 
cate to  you,  which  I  muft  omit,  until  Providence 

gives 


M  R.    D  A  V  I  D    B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      303 

gives  us  leave  to  fee  each  other.     In  the  mean  time, 
I  reft, 

Your  obliged  friend  and  fervant, 

DAVID  BRAINERD. 

To  i2  Special  Friend,  a  Minijier  of  the  Gofpcl  in 
New-'Jerfey. 

The  Forks  of  Delaware,  December  24,  1744. 

Rev.  and  dear  Brother, 

1  HAVE  little  to  fay  to  you,  about  fpiritu- 

al  joys,  and  thofe  blelTed  refrefhrnents,  and  divine 
confolations,  with  which  I  have  been  much  favoured 
in  times  pafi:  :  But  this  1  can  tell  you,  that  if  I  gain 
experience  in  no  other  point,  yet  I  am  fure  1  do  in 
this,  viz.  that  the  prefent  world  has  nothing  in  it  to 
fatisfy  an  immortal  foul ;  and  hence,that  it  is  not  to 
be  defired  for  itfelf,  but  only  becaufe  God  may  be 
i'een  and  ferved  in  it  :  And  I  wifh  I  could  be  more 
patient  and  willing  to  live  in  it  for  this  end,  than  I 
can  ufually  find  myfelf  to  be.     It  is  no  virtue,  I 
know,  to  defirc  death,  only  to  be  freed  from  themif- 
eries  of  lite  :  But  I  want  that  divine  hope,  which 
you  ob ferved,  when  I  faw  you  laft,  was  the  very  iin- 
ews  of  vital  religion.      Earth  can  do  us  no  good, 
and  if  there  be  no  hope  of  our  doing  good  on  earth. 
How  can  we  defire  to  live  in  it  ?  And  yet  we  ought 
todeiire,  or  at  leaft  to  be  refigned  to  tarry  in  it  ;  be- 
caulc  It  is  the  will  of  our  allwife  Sovereign.  But  per- 
haps  thefe  thoughts  will  appear  melancholy  and 
gloomy,  and  confequently  will  be  very  undefirable 
to  you;  and  therefore  I  forbear  to  add.     I  wilhyou 
may  not  read  them  in  the  fame  circumflances  in 
which  I  write  them.     I  have  a  little  more  to  do  and 
fuffcr  in  a  dark  difconfolate  world  ;  and  then  I  hope 
to  be  as  hapoy  as  you  are,    I  (liouid  aflc  vcu  topra/ 

for 


304  TheLIFEof 

for. me,  wcrel  worth  your  concern.     May  the  Lord 
enable  us  both  to  endure  hardnefs  as  ^ood  foldiers  of 
'Jefus  Chriji  ;  and  may  we  obtain  mercy  of  God  to  be'' 
faithful,  to  the  deaths  in  the  difcharge  of  our  refpecft- 
ive  trufts. 

I  am  your  very  unworthy  brother, 
And  humble  fervant, 

DAVID  BRAINERD. 

T(?  his  Brother  John,  at  College, 

Crosweeksung,  In  Neiv-Jer/ej,  December 28,  1745. 

Very  dear  Brother, 

-I  AM  in  one  continued,  perpetual,   and 


uninterrupted  hurry;  and  Divine  Providence  throws 
fo  much  upon  me,  that  I  do  not  fee  it  will  ever  be 
otherwife.  May  1  obtain  mercy  of  God  to  be  faithful^ 
to  the  death.  I  cannot  fay,  I  am  weary  of  my  hur- 
ry ;  I  only  want  flrength  and  grace  to  do  more  for 
God,  than  I  have  ever  yet  done. 

My  dear  brother,  the  Lord  of  heaven, that  has  carri- 
ed me  through  many  trials,  blefs  you  ;  blefs  you  for 
time,  and  eternity;  and  fit  you  to  do  fervice  for  him  in 
his  church  below,  and  to  enjoy  his  blifsful  prefence 
in  his  church  triumphant.  My  brother,  the  time  is 
fhort  :  O,  let  us  fill  it  up  for  God  :  Let  us  count 
the  fufferings  of  this  prefent  time  as  nothing,  if  we 
can  but  run  our  race,  "AX^di  finifld  our  courfe  with  joy, 
O  let  us  ftrive  to  live  to  God.  I  blefs  the  Lord,  1  have 
nothing  to  do  with  earth,  but  only  to  labour  honefl- 
ly  in  it  for  God,  until  I  fliall  accomplijlo  as  an  hire- 
ling my  day,  I  think  1  do  not  defire  to  live  one  min- 
ute for  any  thing  that  earth  can  afford.  O  that  I 
could  live  for  none  but  God ,  until  my  dying  moment. 
I  am  your  affectionate  brother, 

DAVID  BRAINERD. 

7> 


Mr.    DAVID   BR  AI  NERD.      305 

To  his  Brother  Israel,  then  a  Student  at  Tale-CoU 
lege^  in  'New-Haven. 

Elizabeth-Town,  Ne-w-Jer/ey,  November  24,  1746. 

Dear  Brother, 
I  HAD  determined  to  make  you  and  my  other 
friends  in  New-England  a  vifit,  this  fall  ;  partly 
from  an  earneft  defire  I  had  to  fee  you  and  them, 
and  partly  with  a  view  to  the  recovery  of  my  health  ; 
which  has,  for  more  than  three  months  pafl,  been 
much  impaired.  And  in  order  toprofecute  this  de- 
fign,  I  fet  out  from  my  own  people  about  three 
weeks  ago,  and  came  as  far  as  to  this  place  ;  where, 
my  difordcr  greatly  increafing,  I  have  been  obliged 
to  keep  houfc  ever  fince,  until  the  day  before  yefter- 
day  j  at  which  time  I  was  able  to  ride  about  half  a 
mile,  but  found  myfelf  much  tired  with  the  journey. 
I  have  now  no  hopes  of  profecuting  my  journey  in- 
to New-England  this  winter,  fuppofing  my  prefent 
ftate  of  health  will  by  no  means  admit  of  it.  Al- 
though I  am,  through  divine  goodnefs,  much  better 
than  I  was  fbme  days  ago,  yet  1  have  not  ftrength 
now  to  ride  more  than  ten  miles  a  day,  if  the  feafon 
were  warm,  and  fit  for  me  to  travel  in.  My  difor- 
der  has  been  attended  with  feveral  fymptomsofa 
confum.ption  ;  and  I  have  been  at  times  apprehen- 
five,  that  my  great  change  was  at  hand  :  Yet,  bleffed 
be  God,  I  have  never  been  affrighted  ;  but  on  the 
contrary,  at  fomc  rimes  much  delighted  with  a  view 
of  its  approach.  O  the  bleffedncfs  of  being  deliv- 
ered from  the  clogs  of  flefli  and  fenfe,  from  a 
body  of  fin  and  fpiritual  death  !  O,  the  unfpeakablc 
I'weetnefs  of  being  tranllated  into  a  flate  of  complete 
purity  and  perfcdion  !  Believe  me,  my  brother,  a 
lively  view  and  hope  of  thefc  things  will  make  the 
kin^  of  terrors  himfelf  appear  agreeable.  Dear  broth- 

U  er, 


3o6  TheLIFEof 

er,  let  me  entreat  you  to  keep  eternity  in  your  view, 
and  behave  yourfelf  as  becomes  one  that  muft  fhort- 
]y  give  an  account  of  all  things  done  in  the  body.  That 
God  may  be  your  God,  and  prepare' you  for  his 
fervice  here,  and  his  kingdom  of  glory  hereafter,  is 
thedefire  and  daily  prayer  of 

Your  afFe(5tionate  loving  brother, 

DAVID  BRAINERD. 

To  his  Brother  Israel,  at  College  ;  written  in  the 
time  of  his  extreme  illnefs  in  Boflon^  a  few  months 
before  his  death. 

Boston,  June  30,  1747. 

My  dear  Brother, 
IT  is  from  the  fides  of  eternity  I  novvaddrefs  you. 
I  am  heartily  forry,  that  I  have  fo  little  ftrength  to 
write  what  I  long  fo  much  to  communicate  to  you. 
But  let  me  tell  you,  my  brother,  eternity  is  another 
thing  than  we  ordinarily  take  it  to  be  in  a  healthful 
ftate.  O  how  vaft  and  boundlefs  !  O  how  fixed 
and  unalterable  !  O,  of  what  infinite  importance  is 
it,  that  we  be  prepared  for  eternity  !  I  have  been 
juft  a  dying,  now  for  more  than  a  week  ;  and  all 
around  me  have  thought  me  fo  :  But  in  this  time  I 
have  had  clear  views  of  eternity ;  have  feentheblefT- 
ednefs  of  the  godly,  in  fome  meafure  ;  and  have 
longed  to  lliare  their  happy  ftate  ;  as  well  as  been 
comfortably  fatisfied,  that,  through  grace,  I  fhall  do 
fo  :  But  O,  what  anguifh  is  raifed  in  my  mind,  to 
think  of  an  eternity  for  thofe  who  are  chriftlefs,  for 
thofe  who  are  miftaken,  and  who  bring  their  falfe 
hopes  to  the  grave  with  them  !  The  fight  was  fo 
dreadful,  I  could  by  no  means  bear  it :  My  thoughts 
recoiled,  and  I  faid,  but  under  a  more  affecfling  fenfe 
than  ever  before,   Who  can  dwell  with  eve rla fling 

burnings  l 


Mr.    DAVID    B  R  A  I  N  E  R  D.      307 

burnings  I  O,  methought,  that  I  could  now  fee  my 
friends,  that  I  might  warn  them,  to  fee  to  it,  they- 
lay  their  foundation  for  eternity  fure.  And  you  my 
dear  brother,  I  have  been  particularly  concerned 
for  ;  and  have  wondered  I  fo  much  ncglecfled  con- 
verfing  with  you  about  your  fpiritual  ftate  at  our 
laft  meeting.  O,  my  brother,  let  me  then  befeech 
you  now  to  examine,  whether  you  are  indeed  a  new 
creature  ?  Whether  you  have  ever  a6led  above  felf  ? 
Whether  the  glory  of  God  has  ever  been  the  fweet- 
cfl:  higheft  concern  with  you  ?  Whether  you  have 
ever  been  reconciled  to  all  the  perfe(5tions  of  God  ? 
In  a  word,  whether  God  has  been  your  portion,  and 
a  holy  conformity  to  him  your  chief  delight  ?  If 
you  cannot  anfwer  pofitively,  confider  ferioufly  the 
frequent  breathings  of  your  foul  :  But  do  not  how- 
ever put  yourfelf  off  with  a  flight  anfwer.  If  you 
have  rcafon  to  think  you  are  gracelefs,  O  give  your- 
felf and  the  throne  of  grace  no  reft,  until  God  arife 
and  fave.  But  if  the  cafe  fliould  be  otherwife,  blefs 
God  for  his  grace,  and  prefs  after  holinefs. 

My  foul  longs,  that  you  fhould  be  fitted  for,  and 
in  due  time  go  into  the  work  of  the  miniftry.  I 
cannot  bear  to  think  of  your  going  into  any  other 
bufinefs  in  life.  Do  not  be  difcouraged,  becaufe  you 
fee  your  elder  brothers  in  the  miniftry  die  early,  one 
after  another  :  I  declare  now  I  am  dying,  I  would 
not  have  fpent  my  Wio.  otherwife  for  the  whole 
world.     But  I  mull:  leave  this  with  God. 

If  this  line  fhould  come  to  your  hands  foon  after 
the  date,  I  fliould  be  almoft  defirous  you  fhould  fet 
out  on  a  journey  to  me  :  It  may  be,  you  may  fee  me 
alive  ;  which  I  fhould  much  rejoice  in.  But  if  you 
cannot  come,  I  muft  commit  you  to  the  grace 
of  God,  where  you  are.  May  he  be  your  guide 
and  couiifellor,  your  fandtifier,  and  eternal  por- 
tion. 

Ua  o 


3o8  The    LIFE    of 

O  my  dear  brother,  flee  fleflily  lufts,  and  the  en- 
chanting amufements,  as  well  as  corrupt  dodtrines, 
of  the  prefent  day  ;  and  flrive  to  live  to  God. 
Take  this  as  the  lail:  line  from 

Your  affedionate  dying  brother, 

DAVID  BRAINERD. 

To  a  yoimgGentleman^  a  Candidate  for  the  Work  of  the 
MiniJirVjfor  whom  he  had  a  fpecialfriendjhip  ;  alfo 
written  at  the  fame  titne  of  his  great  illnefs  and  near" 
nefs  to  death  in  Bojion, 

Very  dear  Sir, 

HOW  amazing  it  is,  that  the  living,  who  know 
they  muft  die,  fliould  notwith{1:anding/>///y^r  aivay 
the  evil  day^  in  a  feafon  of  health  and  profperity  ; 
and  live  at  fuch  an  awful  diftancefrom  a  familiarity 
with  the  grave,  and  the  great  concerns  beyond  it  ! 
And  efpecially  it  may  juftly  fill  us  with  furprife,  that 
any  whofe  minds  have  been  divinely  enlightened,  to 
behold  the  important  things  of  eternity  as  they  are, 
I  fay,  that  fuch  fliould  live  in  this  manner.  And 
yet  fir,  how  .frequently  is  this  the  cafe  !  How  rare 
are  the  inflances  of  thofe  who  live  and  ad:  from  day 
to  day,  as  on  the  verge  of  eternity  ;  flriving  to  fill 
up  all  their  remaining  moments,  in  the  fervice,  and 
to  the  honour  of  their  great  Mafter  !  Vl^e  infenfibly 
trifle  away  time,  while  we  feem  to  have  enough  of 
it ;  and  are  fo  ftrangely  amufed,  as  in  a  great  meaf- 
ure  to  lofe  a  fenfe  of  the  holinefs  and  blefled  qualifi- 
cations necelTary  to  prepare  us  to  be  inhabitants 
of  the  heavenly  paradife.  But  O,  dear  fir,  a  dying 
bed,  if  we  enjoy  our  reafon  clearly,  will  give  anoth- 
er view  of  things.  I  have  now,  for  more  than  three 
weeks,  lain  under  thegreatefl  degree  of  w'eaknefs  ; 
the  greater  part  of  the  time,  expeding  daily  and 

hourly 


Mr.   DAVID    BRA  IN  ERD.       309 

hourly  to  enter  into  the  eternal  world  :  Sometimes 
have  been  fo  far  gone,  as  to  be  wholly  fpeechlefs, 
for  fome  hours  together.  And  O,  of  what  vaft  im- 
portance has  a  holy  fpiritual  life  appeared  to  me  to 
be  in  this  feafon  !  1  have  longed  to  call  upon  all  my 
friends,  to  make  it  their  bufinefs  to  live  to  God  ,• 
and  efpecially  all  that  are  deligned  for,  or  engaged 
in  the  fervice  of  the  fand:uary.  O,  dear  fir,  do  not 
think  it  enough,  to  live  at  the  rate  of  common  chrif- 
tians.  Alas,  to  how  little  purpofe  do  they  often 
converfe,  when  they  meet  together  !  The  vifits  even  of 
thofe  who  are  called  chriftians  indeed,  are  frequently 
extreme  barren  :  And  conscience  cannot  but  con- 
demn us  for  the  mifimprovement  of  time,  while  we 
have  been  converfant  with  them.  But  the  way  to 
enjoy  the  divine  prefence,  and  be  fitted  for  difiin- 
guiihing  fervice  for  God,  is  to  live  a  life  of  great  de- 
votion and  conlfant  felf  dedication  to  him  ;  obfcrv- 
ing  the  motions  and  difpofitions  of  our  own  hearts, 
whence  we  may  learn  the  corruptions  that  lodge 
there,  and  our  conftant  need  of  help  from  God  for 
the  performance  of  the  leaf!:  duty.  And  O,  dear  fir, 
let  rne  befcech  you  frequently  to  attend  the  great  and 
precious  duties  of  fecret  fading  and  prayer. 

I  have  a  fecret  thought,  from  fome  things  I  have 
obferved,  that  God  may  perhaps  defign  you  for  fome 
fingular  fervice  in  the  world.  O  then  labour  to  be 
prepared  and  qualified  to  do  much  for  God.  Read 
Tvlr.  Edwards*  piece  on  the  afFe(5tions,  again  and 
again  ;  and  labour  to  diilinguKh  clearly  upon  expe- 
riences and  affe(5tions  in  religion,  that  you  may 
m.ake  a  difference  between  the  gold  and  tlie  Ihining 
drofs  ;  I  lay,  labour  here,  as  ever  you  would  be  an 
ufeful  minifter  of  Chrift  :  For  nothing  has  put  fuch 
a  flop  to  the  work  of  God  in  the  late  day  as  tl^c 
falfe  religion,  the  wild  affections  that  attended  ir. 
Suffer  me  therefore,  finally  to  entreat  you  ea^rnefil/ 

U  3  to 


310  The    LIFE,    &c. 

to  give  yourfelf  to  prayer,  to  reading,  and  meditation 
on  divine  truths  :  Strive  to  penetrate  to  the  bottom 
of  them,  and  never  be  content  with  a  fuperficial 
knowledge.  By  this  means,  your  thoughts  will 
gradually  grow  weighty  and  judicious  ;  and  you 
hereby  will  be  poflefTed  of  a  valuable  treafure,  out  of 
which  you  may  produce  things  new  and  old,  to  the 
glory  of  God. 

And  now  I  commend  you  to  the  grace  of  God  ; 
earneftly  defiring,  that  a  plentiful  portion  of  the  Di- 
vine Spirit  may  reft  upon  you  ;  that  you  may  live  to 
God  in  every  capacity  of  life,  and  do  abundant  fer^ 
vice  for  him  in  publick,  if  it  be  his  will ;  and  that 
you  may  be  richly  qualified  for  the  inheritance  of 
the  faints  in  light. 

I  fcarce  expe(5t  to  fee  your  face  any  more  in  the 
body;  and  therefore  entreat  you  to  accept  this  as  the 
laft  token  of  love,  from 

Your  fincerely  affed:ionate  dying  friend, 

DAVID  BRAINERD. 

P.  S.  I  am  now,  at  the  dating  of  this  letter,  con- 
siderably recovered  from  what  1  was  when  I  wrote 
it ;  it  having  lain  by  me  fome  time,  for  want  of  an 
opportunity  of  conveyance  :  It  was  written  in  Bof- 
ton.  I  am  now  able  to  ride  a  little,  and  fo  am  re- 
moved into  the  country :  But  I  have  no  more  expect- 
ation of  recovering,  than  when  I  wrote,  though  I 
am  a  little  better  for  the  prefent  ;  and  therefore  I 
flill  fubfcribe  myfelf. 

Your  dying  friend,  &c. 

D.  B. 


A  N 


3' I 


A    N 


APPENDIX, 

Containing fome  REFLECTIONS  ^W  OBSERVA- 
TIONS on  the  preceding  Memoirs  of  Mr.  Brai- 

NBRD. 

I.  T^T'E  have  here  an  opportunity,  as  I  apprehend, 
V  V  in  a  very  lively  inftance,  to  iee  the  nature 
of  true  religion  ;  and  the  manner  of  its  operation, 
when  exemplified  in  a  high  degree  and  powerful 
exercife.  Particularly  it  may  be  worthy  to  be  ob- 
ferved, 

I .  How  greatly  Mr.  Brainerd*s  religion  differed 
from  that  of  fome  pretenders  to  the  experience  of  a 
clear  work  of  faving  converfion  wrought  on  their 
hearts ;  who,  depending  and  living  on  that,  fettle  in 
a  cold,  carelefs  and  carnal  frame  of  mind,  and  in  a 
negled:  of  thorough,  earneft  religion,  in  the  flated 
practice  of  it.  Ahhough  his  convi<flions  and  con- 
verfion were  in  all  refped:s  exceeding  clear  and  very 
remarkable  ;  yet  how  far  was  he  from  acting  as 
though  he  thought  he  had  got  through  his  work, 
when  once  he  had  obtained  comfort,  and  fatisfad;ioii 
of  his  intereli  in  Chriff,  and  title  to  heaven.  On 
the  contrary,  that  work  on  his  heait,  by  which  he 
was  brought  to  this,  was  with  him  evidently  but 
the  beginning  of  his  work,  his  firfl  entering  on  the 
great  bufinefs  of  religion  and  the  fervice  of  God,  his 
firft  fetting  out  in  his  race.  His  work  was  not  fin- 
ilhed,  nor  his  race  ended,  until  life  was  ended  ; 
agreeable  to  frequent  fcripturereprefentations  of  the 
chriflian  life.  He  continued  preffing  forward  in  a 
U  4  conliant 


312  Reflections  j/zi  Observations 

conftant  manner,  forgetting  the  things  that  were  be- 
hind, and  reaching  forth  towards  the  things  that 
were  before.  His  pains  and  earneftnefs  in  the  bufi- 
nefs  of  rehgion  were  rather  increafed,  than  dimin- 
ifhed,  after  he  had  received  comfort  and  fatisfadtion 
concerning  the  fafety  of  his  Hate.  Thofe  divine 
principles,  which  after  this  he  was  ad:uated  by,  of 
love  to  God,  and  longings  and  thirftings  after  holi- 
nefs,  feem  to  be  more  effectual  to  engage  him  to 
pains  and  activity  in  religion,  than  fear  of  hell  had 
been  before. 

And  as  his  converfion  was  not  the  end  of  his  work, 
or  of  the  courfe  of  his  diligence  and  ftrivings  in  re- 
ligion ;  fo  neither  was  it  the  end  of  the  work  of  the 
Spirit  of  God  on  his  heart  :  But  on  the  contrary, 
the  beginning  of  that  work  ;  the  beginning  of  his 
fpiritual  difcoveries,  and  holy  views  ;  the  firft  dawn- 
ing of  the  light,  which  thenceforward  increafed 
more  and  more  ;  the  beginning  of  his  holy  affec- 
tions, his  forrow  for  fin,  his  love  to  God,  his  rejoic- 
ing in  Chrift  Jefus,  his  longings  after  holinefs.  And 
the  powerful  operations  of  the  Spirit  of  God  in  thefe 
things,  were  carried  on,  from  the  day  of  his  conver- 
iion,  in  a  continued  courfe,  to  his  dying  day.  His 
religious  experiences,  his  admiration,  his  joy  and 
praife,  and  flowing  affe<5tions,  did  not  only  hold  up 
to  a  confiderable  height  for  a  few  days,  weeks  or 
months,  at  firft,  while  hope  and  comfort  were  new 
things  with  him  ;  and  then  gradually  dwindle  and 
die  away,  until  they  came  to  almoft  nothing,  and  fo 
leave  him  without  any  fenfible  or  remarkable  expe- 
rience of  fpiritual  difcoveries,  or  holy  and  divine  af- 
fections, for  months  together ;  as  it  is  with  many, 
who,  after  the  newnefs  of  things  is  over,  foon  come 
to  that  pafs,  that  it  is  again  with  them  very  much  as 
it  ufed  to  be  before  their  fuppofed  converfion,  with 
refped  to   any   prefcnt  viev/s  of  God*s  glory,  of 

Chriit's 


On  t/)e preceding  Memoirs,  313 

Chrifl*s  excellency,  or  of  the  beauty  of  divine  things; 
and  with  refpe(5l:  to  any  prefent  thirftings  for  God, 
or  ardent  outgoings  of  their  fouls  after  divine  ob-' 
jedls  :  But  only  now  and  then,  they  have  a  comfort- 
able refledlion  on  things  they  have  met  with  in  times 
paft,  and  are  fomething  affeded  with  them  ;  and  fo 
reft  eafy,  thinking  all  things  are  well  ;  they  have 
had  a  good  clear  work,  and  their  ftate  is  fafe,  and 
they  doubt  not  but  they  Ihall  go  to  heaven  when 
they  die.  How  far  otherwife  was  it  with  Mr.  Brai- 
nerd,  than  it  is  with  fuch  perfons  !  His  experiences, 
inftead  of  dying  away,  were  evidently  of  an  increaf- 
ing  nature.  His  firft  love  and  other  holy  affediions, 
even  at  the  beginning,  were  very  great ;  but  after 
months  and  years,  became  much  greater,  and  more 
remarkable  ;  and  the  fpiritual  exercifes  of  his  mind 
continued  exceeding  great,  though  not  equally  fo  at 
all  times,  yet  ufually  fo,  without  indulged  remiff- 
nefs,  and  without  habitual  dwindling  and  dying 
away,  even  until  his  decea-fe.  They  began  in  a  time 
of  general  deadnefs  all  over  the  land,  and  were  great- 
ly increafed  in  a  time  of  general  reviving  of  religion. 
And  when  religion  decayed  again,  and  a  general 
deadnefs  returned,  his  experiences  were  ftill  kept  up 
in  their  height,  and  his  holy  exercifes  maintained  in 
their  life  and  vigour  ;  and  fo  continued  to  be,  in  a 
general  courfe,  wherever  he  was,  and  whatever  his 
circumftances  were,  among  Englifh  and  Indians,  in 
company  and  alone,  in  towns  and  cities,  and  in  the 
howling  wildernefs,  in  ficknefs  and  in  health,  living 
and  dying.  This  is  agreeable  to  fcripture  defcriptions 
of  true  and  right  religion,  and  of  the  chriflian  life. 
The  change  that  was  wrought  in  him  at  his  conver- 
sion, was  agreeable  to  fcripture  reprefentations  of 
that  change  which  is  wrought  in  true  converfion  ;  a 
great  change,  and  an  abiding  change,  rendering  him 
a  new  man,  a  new  creature  :  Not  only  a  change  as 

to 


314         Reflections  <?;?</ Observations 

to  hope  and  comfort,  and  an  apprehenfion  of  his 
own  good  eftate ;  and  a  tranlient  change,  confifting 
in  high  flights  of  pafling  affedions  ;  but  a  change 
of  nature,  a  change  of  the  abiding  habit  and  temper 
of  his  mind.  Nor  a  partial  change,  merely  in  point 
of  opinion,  or  outward  reformation  ;  much  lefs  a 
change  from  one  error  to  another,  or  from  one  fin  to 
another ;  but  an  univerfal  change,  both  internal  and 
external  ;  as  from  corrupt  and  dangerous  principles 
in  religion,  unto  the  belief  of  the  truth,  fo  from  both 
the  habits  and  waysof  iin,  unto  univerfal  holinefs  of 
heart  and  practice  ;  from  the  power  and  lervice  of 
Satan,  unto  God. 

2.  His  religion  did  apparently  and  greatly  differ 
from  that  of  many  high  pretenders  to  religion,  who 
are  frequently  actuated  by  vehement  emotions  of 
mind,  and  are  carried  on  in  a  courfe  of  fudden  and 
ftrong  impreflions,  and  fuppofed  high  illumina- 
tions and  immediate  difcoveries,  and  at  the  fame 
time  are  perfons  of  a  virulent  zeal,  not  according  to 
knowledge. 

His  convictions,  preceding  his  converfion,  did 
not  arife  from  any  frightful  impreffions  on  his  im- 
agination, or  any  external  images  and  ideas  of  fire 
and  brimftone,  a  fword  of  vengeance  drawn,  a  dark 
pit  open,  devils  in  terrible  fhapes,  &c.  ftrongly  fix- 
ed in  his  mind.  His  fight  of  his  own  finfulnefs 
did  not  confiflin  any  imagination  ot  a  heap  of  loath- 
fome  material  filthinefs  within  him  ;  nor  did  his 
fenfe  of  the  hardnefs  of  his  heart  confiil  :a  any 
bodily  feeling  \\\  his  bread  fomething  hard  and  hea- 
vy like  a  flone,  nor  in  any  imaginations  whatever  of 
fuch  a  nature. 

His  firfl  difcovery  of  God  or  Chrift,  at  his  con- 
verfion, was  not  any  firong  idea  of  any  external  glo- 
ry or  brightnefs,  or  majeity  and  beauty  of  counte- 
nance, or  pleafant  voice  j  nor  was  it  any  fuppofed 

immediate 


On  the  preceding  Memoirs.  31^ 

immediate  manifeftation  of  God*s  love  to  him  in 
particular ;  nor  any  imagination  of  Chrift*s  fmil- 
ing  face,  arms  open,  or  words  immediately  fpoken 
to  him,  as  by  name,  revealing  Chrift*s  love  to  him; 
either  words  of  fcripture,  or  any  other  :  But  a  man- 
ifeftation  of  God*s  glory,  and  the  beauty  of  his 
nature,  as  fupremely  excellent  in  itielf ;  powerfully 
drawing,  and  fweetly  captivating  his  heart  ;  bring- 
ing him  to  a  hearty  defire  to  exalt  God,  fet  him  on 
the  throne,  and  give  him  fupreme  honour  and  glo- 
ry, as  the  king  and  fovereign  of  the  univerfe  ;  and 
alfo  a  new  fenfe  of  the  infinite  wifdom,  fuitablenefs 
and  excellency  of  the  way  of  falvation  by  Chrift  ; 
powerfully  engaging  his  whole  foul  to  embrace  this 
way  of  lalvation,  and  to  delight  in  it.  His  firfl 
faith  did  not  confift  in  believing  that  Chrift  loved 
him,  and  died  for  him,  in  particular.  His  firfl  com- 
fort was  not  from  any  fecret  fuggeflion  of  God's 
eternal  love  to  him,  or  that  God  was  reconciled  to 
him,  or  intended  great  mercy  for  him  ;  by  any  fuch 
texts  as  thele,  Son,  be  of  good  cheer,  thy  fins  are  for- 
given thee.  Fear  not,  I  am  thy  God,  &c.  or  in  any 
liich  way.  On  the  contrary,  when  God's  glory  was 
firft  diCcovered  to  him,  it  was  without  any  thought 
of  falvation  as  his  own.  His  firfl:  experience  of  the 
fandiifying  and  comforting  power  of  God's  Spirit 
did  not  begin  in  fome  bodily  fenfation,  any  pleafant 
warm  feeling  in  his  breaft,  that  he,  as  fome  others, 
called  the  feeling  the  love  ot  Chrift  in  him,  and  be- 
ing full  of  the  fpirir.  How  exceeding  far  were  his 
experiences  at  his  firft  converfion  from  things  of 
fuch  a  nature  ! 

And  if  we  look  through  the  whole  fcries  of  his 
experiences,  from  his  converfion  to  his  death,  we 
ihall  find  none  of  this  kind. 

Mr.  Brainerd's  religion  was  not  felfifli  and  mcr- 
(:enary  ;  His  loye  to  God  was  primarily  and  prin- 
cipally 


3i6  Reflections  ^;7i Observations 

cipally  for  the  fupreme  excellency  of  his  own  na- 
ture, and  not  built  on  a  preconceived  notion  that 
God  loved  him,  had  received  him  into  favour, 
and  had  done  great  things  for  him,  or  promifed 
great  things  to  him  :  So  his  joy  was  joy  in  God,  and 
not  in  himfelf.  We  fee  by  his  Diary  how,  from 
time  to  time,  through  the  courfe  of  his  life,  his  foul 
■was  filled  with  ineffable  fweetnefs  and  comfort. 
But  what  was  the  fpring  of  this  ftrong  and  abid- 
ing confolation  ?  Not  fo  much  the  confideration  of 
the  fure  grounds  he  had  to  think  that  his  ftate  was 
good,  that  God  had  deUvered  him  from  hell,  and 
that  heaven  was  his  ;  or  any  thoughts  concerning 
his  own  diflinguifhed  happy  and  exalted  circum- 
flances,  as  a  high  favourite  of  heaven  :  But  the 
fweet  meditations  and  entertaining  views  he  had  of 
divine  things  without  himfelf;  the  affed:ing  confid- 
erations  and  lively  ideas  of  God*s  infinite  glory,  his 
unchangeable  bleffednefs,  his  fovereignty  and  uni- 
verfal  dominion  ;  together  with  the  fweet  exerciies 
of  love  to  God,  giving  himfelf  up  to  him,  abafing 
himfelf  before  him,  denying  himfelf  for  him,  de- 
pending upon  him,  ad:ing  for  his  glory,  diligently 
ferving  him  ;  and  the  pleaiing  prolpeds  or  hopes 
he  had  of  a  future  advancement  of  the  kingdom  of 
Chrifl,  &c. 

It  appears  plainly  and  abundantly  all  along,  from 
his  converfion  to  his  death,  that  that  beauty,  that 
fort  of  good,  which  was  the  great  objed:  of  the  new 
fenfe  of  his  mind,  the  new  relilh  and  appetite  given 
him  in  converfion,  and  thenceforward  maintained 
and  increafed  in  his  heart,  was  holinefs,  coniormity 
to  God,  living  to  God,  and  glorifying  him..  This 
was  what  drew  his  heart ;  this  was  the  centre  of  his 
foul  i  this  was  the  ocean  to  which  all  the  ftreams 
of  his  religious  afFe6tions  tended  j  this  v.-as  the  object 
that  engaged  his  eager  thirfling  deiires  and  earnelt 

purfuits  : 


On  the  precedifig  Memoirs.  5^7 

piirfuits  :  He  knew  no  true  excellency  or  happinefs 
but  this  :  This  was  what  he  longed  for  moft  vehe-» 
mently  and  conftantly  on  earth  ;  and  this  was  with 
him  the  beauty  and  blelTednefs  of  heaven;  which 
made  him  fo  much  and  fo  often  to  long  for  that  world 
of  glory  ;  it  was  to  be  perfedly  holy,  and  perfedily 
exercifed  in  the  holy  employments  of  heaven  ;  thus 
to  glorify  God  and  enjoy  him  forever. 

His  religious  illuminations,  affections  and  com- 
fort feemed  to  a  great  degree,  to  be  attended  with 
evangelical  humiliation;  confifting  in  a  fenfe  of  his 
own  utter  infufficiency,  defpicablenefs  and  odiouf- 
nefs  ;  with  an  anfwerable  difpofition  and  frame  of 
heart.  How  deeply  affe<5ted  was  he  almoft  continu- 
ally with  his  great  defed:s  in  religion  ;  with  his 
vaft  diftance  from  that  fpirituality  and  holy  frame 
of  mind  that  became  him  ;  with  his  ignorance, 
pride,  deadnefs,  unfteadinefs,  barrennefs  !  He  was 
not  only  affedied  with  the  remembrance  of  his 
former  finfulnefs,  before  his  converfion,  but  with 
the  fenfe  of  his  prefent  vilenefs  and  pollution.  He 
was  not  only  difpofed  to  think  meanly  of  himfelf 
asbeforeGod,  and  in  comparifonof  him ;  butamongft 
men,  and  as  compared  with  them  :  He  was  apt  to 
think  other  faints  better  than  he  ;  yea,  to  look  or 
himfelf  as  the  mcaneft  and  leaft  of  faints  ;  yea,  very 
often,  as  the  vileft  and  worfi:  of  mankind.  And 
notwithftanding  his  great  attainments  in  fpiritual 
knowledge,  yet  we  find  there  is  fcarce  any  thing 
that  he  is  more  frequently  affected  and  abafed  with 
a  fenfe  of,  than  his  ignorance. 

Howeminently  did  he  appear  to  be  of  a  meek  and 
quiet  fpirit,  rcfembling  the  lamblike,  dovelike 
fpirit  of  Jefus  Chrift  I  How  full  of  love,  meekncfs, 
quietnefs,  forgivenefs  and  mercy  !  His  love  was  not 
merely  a  fondnefs  and  zeal  for  a  party,  but  an  uni- 
verfal  benevolence;  very  often  exerci  fed  in  the  mofl. 

fen  fib  le 


3i8  Reflections  tf/?^ Observations 

fenfible  and  ardent  love  to  his  greateft  oppofers  and 
enemies.  His  love  and  meeknefs  were  riot  a  meer 
pretence,  and  outward  profeffion  and  fhew  ;  but 
they  were  effedlual  things,  manifefted  in  expenfive 
and  painful  deeds  of  love  and  kindnefs  ;  and  in  a 
meek  behaviour  ;  readily  confcfling  faults  under 
the  greateft  trials,  and  humbling  himfelf  even  at  the 
feet  of  thofe  from  whom  he  fuppofed  he  had  fuf- 
fercd  moft  ;  and  from  time  to  time,  very  frequently 
praying  for  his  enemies,  abhorring  the  thoughts  of 
bitternefs  or  refentment  towards  them.  I  fcarcely 
know  where  to  look  for  any  parallel  inftance  of 
felf  denial,  in  thefe  refped:s,  in  the  prefent  age. 
He  was  a  perfon  of  great  zeal  ;  but  how  did  he  ab- 
hor a  bitter  zeal,  and  lament  it  where  he  faw  it  ! 
And  though  he  was  once  drawn  into  fome  degrees 
of  it,  by  the  force  of  prevailing  example,  as  it  were 
in  his  childhood  ;  yet  how  did  he  go  about  with  his 
heart  bruifed  and  broken  in  pieces  for  it  all  his  life 
after ! 

Of  how  foft  and  tender  a  fpirit  was  he  !  How  far 
were  his  experiences,  hopes,  and  joys  from  a  ten- 
dency finally  to  ftupify  and  harden  him,  to  lefleii 
convictions  and  tendernefs  of  confcience,  to  caufe 
him  to  be  Icfs  afFe(5led  with  prefent  and  paft  fins, 
and  lefs  confcientious  with  refpecS  to  future  fins, 
more  eafy  in  the  negled:  of  duties  that  are  trouble- 
fome  and  inconvenient,  more  flow  and  partial  in 
complying  with  difficult  commands,  lefs  apt  to  be 
alarmed  at  the  appearance  of  his  own  defed:s  and 
tranfgrefiions,  more  eafily  induced  to  a  compliance 
with  carnal  appetites  !  On  the  contrary,  how  tender 
was  his  confcience  !  How  apt  was  his  heart  to  fmite 
him  !  How  eafily  and  greatly  was  he  alarmed  at 
the  appearance  of  moral  evil  !  How  great  and  con- 
flant  was  his  jealoufy  over  his  own  heart  !  How 
ftridl  his  care  and  watchfulnefs  againft  fin  !  How 

deep 


.i^-^^''''€ 


On  the  preceding  Memoirs.  319 

deep  and  fenfible  were  the  wounds  that  fin  made  in 
his  confcience  !  Thofe  evils  that  are  generally  ac- 
counted fmall,  were  almoft  an  infupportable  burden 
to  him  ;  iuch  as  his  inward  deficiencies,  his  having 
no  more  love  to  God,  finding  within  himfelf  any 
flacknefs  or  dulnefs  in  religion,  any  unAeadinefs,  or 
wandering  frame  of  mind,  &c.  How  did  the  con- 
fideration  of  fiich  things  as  thefe  opprefs  and  abafe 
him,  and  fill  him  with  inward  fi.iame  and  confufion  ! 
His  love,  and  hope,  though  they  were  fuch  as  caft 
out  a  fervile  fear  of  hell,  yet  they  were  fuch  as  were 
attended  with, and  abundantly  cherifhed  and  promot- 
ed a  reverential  filial  fear  of  God,  a  Jread  of  fin,  and 
of  God's  holy  difpleafure.  His  joy  feemed  truly  to 
be  a  rejoicing  with  trembling.  His  aflurance  and 
comfort  differed  greatly  from  a  falfe  enthufiaftick 
confidence  and  joy,  in  that  it  promoted  and  main- 
tained mourning  for  fin.  Holy  mourning,  with  him, 
was  not  only  the  work  of  an  hour  or  a  day,  at  his 
firfl  converfion  j  but  ibrrow  for  fin  was  like  a  wound 
conflantly  running  :  He  was  a  mourner  for  fin  all 
his  days.  He  did  not,  after  he  received  comfort 
and  full  fatisfacftion  of  the  forgivcnefs  of  all  his 
fins,  and  the  fafcty  of  his  (late,  forget  his  pafl  fins, 
the  fins  of  his  youth,  that  were  committed  before 
his  converfion  ;  but  the  remembrance  of  them,  from 
time  to  time,  revived  in  his  heart,  with  renewed 
grief.  That  in  Ezek.  xvi.  63.  was  evidently  ful- 
filled in  him,  That  thou  mayejl  remember y  and  be  con- 
founded^  and  never  open  thy  mouth  any  more^  bccaufe 
of  thy  Jhame  ;  when  I  am  pacijied  toward  thee  for  all 
that  thou  hafi  done.  And  how  laftingly  did  the 
fins  that  he  committed  after  his  converfion,  afFecft 
and  break  his  heart  !  If  he  did  any  thing  whereby 
he  thought  he  had  in  any  refpeft  difhonoured  God, 
and  wounded  the  intereft  of  religion,  he  had  never 
done  with  calling  it  to  mind  with  forrow  and  bitter- 

ncfs ; 


3^0  Reflections  ^;2^  Observations 

nefs  j  though  he  was  affured  that  God  had  forgiven  it, 
yet  he  never  forgave  himfelf :  His  pafl  forrows  and 
fears  made  no  fatisfa6tion,  with  him  ;  but  ftill  the 
wound  renews  and  bleeds  afrefh,  again  and  again. 
And  his  prefent  fins,  that  he  daily  found  in  him- 
felf, were  an  occafion  of  daily  fenlible  and  deep 
forrow  of  heart. 

His  religious  afFe(5tions  and  joys  were  not  like  thofe 
of  fome,  who  have  rapture  and  mighty  emotions 
from  time  to  time  in  company  ;  but  have  very  lit- 
tle affedlion  in  retirement  and  fecret  places.  Though 
he  was  of  a  very  fociable  temper,  and  loved  the 
company  of  faints,  and  delighted  very  much  in  re- 
ligious converfation  and  in  focial  worfhip  ;  yet  his 
warmed  affections,  and  their  greatefl  effects  on  ani- 
mal nature,  and  his  fwceteft  joys,  were  in  his  clofet 
devotions,  and  folitarytranfacftions  between  God  and 
his  own  foul  ;  as  is  very  obfervable  through  his 
•whole  courfe,  from  his  converfion  to  his  death.  He 
deh'ghted  greatly  in  facred  retirements ;  and  loved 
to  get  quite  away  from  all  the  world,  to  converfe 
with  God  alone,  in  fecret  duties. 

Mr.  Brainerd*s  experiences  and  comforts  were 
very  far  from  being  like  thofe  of  fome  perfons,  which 
are  attended  with  a  fpiritual  fatiety,  and  put  an  end 
to  their  religious  defires  and  longings,  at  leafl  to  the 
edge  and  ardency  of  them  ;  refling  fatisfied  in  their 
own  attainments  and  comforts,  as  having  obtained 
their  chief  end,  which  is  to  extinguifli  their  fears  of 
hell,  and  give  them  confidence  of  the  favour  of  God. 
How  far  were  his  religious  affedtions,  refrefhments, 
and  fatisfadlons,  from  fuch  an  operation  and  in- 
fluence as  this  !  On  the  contrary,  how  were  they 
always  attended  with  longings  and  thirflings  after 
greater  degrees  of  conformity  to  God  !  And  the 
greater  and  fwceter  his  comforts  were,  the  more  vehe- 
ment were  his  defires  after  holinefs.     For  it  is  to  be 

obferved. 


On  i^e preceding  yiEhioiKSt  I '*^.        3a t 

obferved,  that  his  longings  were  not  f'o  much  after 
joyful  difcoveries  of  God's  love,  and  clear  views  of 
his  title  to  future  advancennent  and  eternal  honours 
in  heaven  ;  as  after  more  of  prefent  holinefs,  greater 
fpirituality,  an  heart  more  engaged  for  God,  to  love 
and  exalt  and  depend  on  him,  an  ability  better  to 
ferve  him,  to  do  more  for  his  glory,  and  to  do  all 
that  he  did  with  more  of  a  regard  to  Chi  ill:  as  his 
righteoufnefs  and  ilrength  ;  and  after  the  enlarge- 
ment and  advancement  of  Chrift's  kingdom  in  the 
earth.  And  his  delires  were  not  idle  williings  and 
wouldings,  but  fuch  as  were  powerful  and  effediuaU 
to  animate  him  to  the  earneft",  eager  purfuit  of  thefe 
things,  with  utmoft  diligence,  and  unfainting  labour 
and  Jelf  denial.  His  comforts  never  put  an  end  to 
his  feeking  after  God,  and  ftriving  to  obtain  his 
grace  ;  but  on  the  contrary,  greatly  engaged  .and  en- 
larged him  therein.  • 

His  religion  did  not  confifl  only  in  experience, 
without  pradiice.  All  his  inward  illuminations, 
aflPediions  and  comforts  Teemed  to  have  a  dircd:  ten^. 
dency  to  practice,  and  to  ifTue  in  it ;  and  this,  not 
merely  a  pradice  negatively  good,  free  from  grofs 
acts  of  irreligion  and  immorality  :  But  a  practice 
pofitively  holy  and  chriftian,  in  a  ferious,  devout, 
humble,  meek,  merciful,  charitable,  and  beneficent 
converfation  ,-  making  the  fervice  of  God,  and  our 
Lord  Jefus  Chrift,  the  great  bufinefs  of  life,  which 
he  was  devoted  to,  and  purfued  with  the  greateft 
earnclinefs  and  diligence  to  the  end  of  his  days, 
through  all  trials.  In  him  was  to  be  feen  the  right 
way  ot  being  lively  in  religion.  His  livelinefs  in 
religion  diti  not  con  (ill  merely  or  mainly  in  his  be- 
ing lively  with  tiie  tongue,  but  in  deed  ;  not  in  be- 
ing forward  in  profefTion  and  outward  fliew,  and 
abundant  in  declaring  his  own  experiences  ;  but 
chiefly  in  being  adlive  and  abundant  in  the  labours 

W  and  ■ 


322        Reflections  a//J Observations 

and  duties  of  religion  ;  not  flothful  in  bufinefs,  but 
fervent  in  fpirit,  ferving  the  Lord,  and  ferving  his 
generation,  according  to  the  will  of  God. 

It  cannot  be  pretended,  that  the  reafon  why  he  {o 
much  abhorred  and  condemned  the  notions  and  ex- 
periences of  thofe  whofe  firft  faith  confifls  in  be- 
lieving that  Chrift  is  theirs,  and  that  Chrifl:  died 
for  them  ;  without  any  previous  experience  of  union 
of  heart  to  him,  for  his  excellency,  as  he  is  in  him- 
felf,  and  not  for  his  fuppofed  love  to  them  ;  and 
who  judge  of  their  intereft  in  Chrifl,  their  juflifica- 
tion,  and  God's  love  to  them,  not  by  their  fandli- 
fication  and  the  exercifes  and  fruits  of  grace,  but  by 
a  fuppofed  immediate  witnefs  of  the  Spirit  by  in- 
ward fuggeflion;  I  fay,  it  cannot  be  pretended,  that 
the  reafon  why  he  fo  much  detefted  and  condemned 
fuch  opinions  and  experiences,  was,  that  he  was  of 
a  too  legal  fpirit  ;  either  that  he  never  was  dead  to 
the  law,  never  experienced  a  thorough  work  of  con- 
viction, was  never  fully  brought  off  from  his  own 
righteoufnefs,  and  weaned  from  the  old  covenant, 
by  a  thorough  legal  humiliation ;  or  that  afterwards, 
he  had  no  great  degree  of  evangelical  humihation, 
not  living  in  a  deep  fenfe  of  his  own  emptinefs, 
wretchednefs,  poverty,  and  abfolute  dependence  on 
the  mere  grace  of  God  through  Chrift.  For  his 
convictions  of  fin,  preceding  his  firft  confolations  in 
Chrift,  were  exceeding  deep  and  thorough;  his  trou- 
ble and  exercife  of  mind,  by  a  fenfe  of  lin  and  mife- 
ry,  very  great  and  long  continued  ;  and  the  light 
let  into  his  mind  at  his  converfion  and  in  progreflive 
fandtification,  appears  to  have  had  its  genuine  hum- 
bling influence  upon  him,  to  have  kept  him  low 
in  his  own  eyes,  not  confiding  in  himfelf,  but 
in  Chrift,  living  by  the  faith  of  the  Son  of  Gody 
and  looking  for  the  vicrcy  of  the  Lord  ^efus  to  eternal 
life. 

Nor 


On  the  preceding  Memoirs.  323 

Nor  can  it  be  pretended,  that  the  reafon  why  be 
condemned  thofe,  and  other  things,  which  this  fort 
of  people  call  the  very  height  ofvital  religion,  and 
the  power  of  godlinefs,  was,  that  he  was  a  dead 
chriftlan,  and  lived  in  the  dark  (as  they  exprcfs 
themfelves)  that  his  experiences,  though  they  might 
be  true,  were  not  great  ;  that  he  did  not  live  near  to 
God,  had  but  a  fmall  acquaintance  with  him,  and 
had  but  a  dim  fight  of  fpiritual  things.  If  any,  af- 
ter they  have  read  the  preceding  account  of  Mr. 
Brainerd's  life,  will  venture  to  pretend  thus,  they 
will  only  fhew  that  they  themfelves  are  in  the  dark, 
and  do  indeed  put  darknefs  for  light,  and  light  for 
darknefs. 

II.  The  foregoing  account  of  Mr.  Brainerd's  life 
may  afford  matter  of  convidtion,  that  there  is  indeed 
fuch  a  thing  as  true  experimental  religion,  arifing 
from  immediate  divine  influences,  fupernaturally  en-* 
lightening  and  convincing  the  mind,  and  powerfully 
impreffing,  quickening,  fandifying,  and  governing 
the  heart  ;  which  religion  is  indeed  an  amiable 
thing,  of  happy  tendency,  and  of  no  hurtful  confe- 
quence  to  human  fociety  ;  notwithltanding  there 
having  been  fo  many  pretences  and  appearances 
of  what  is  called  experimental  vital  religion,  that 
have  proved  to  be  nothing  but  vain,  pernicious  en- 
thufiafm. 

If  any  infift,  that  Mr.  Brainerd*s  religion  \V^s  en* 
thufiafm,  and  nothing  but  a  ftrange  heat,  and  blind, 
fervour  of  mind,  arifing  from  the  ftrong  fancies  and 
dreams  of  a  notional  whimfical  brain  ;  I  would  a{k, 
i{  it  be  fo,  that  fuch  things  as  thefe  are  the  fruits  of 
enthufiafm,  viz.  a  great  degree  of  honefty  and  fitti- 
plicity,  fincere  and  earncft  defires  and  endeavours 
to  know  and  do  whatever  is  right,  and  to  avoid  every 
thing  that  is  wrong  ;  an  high  degree  of  loVe  to  Ga^t 
delight  in  the  perfe(Stions  of  his  naturc>  placing  the 

W  %  happinefs 


324        Reflections  <^W Observations 

happinefs  of  life  in  him  ;  not  only  in  contemplating 
him,  but  in  being  adivein  pleafingand  ferving  him  ; 
a  firm  and  undoubting  belief  in  the  Meffiah,  as  the 
faviour  of  the  world,  the  great  prophet  of  God,  and 
king  of  God's  church  ;  together  with  great  love  to 
him,  delight  and  complacence  in  the  way  of  falva- 
tion  by  him,  and  longing  for  the  enlargement  of  his 
kingdom  ;  earnefl:  defires  that  God  may  be  glorified, 
and  the  Meffiah *s  kingdom  advanced,  whatever  in- 
flruments  are  made  ufe  of  ;  uncommon  refignation 
to  the  will  of  God,  and  that  under  vaft  trials  j  great 
and  univerfal  benevolence  to  mankind,  reaching  all 
forts  of  perfons  without  diftindiion,  manifefted  in 
fweetnels  of  fpeech  and  behaviour,  kind  treatment, 
mercy,  liberality,  and  earneft  feeking  the  good  of 
the  ibuls  and  bodies  of  men;  attended  with  extraor- 
dinary humility,  meeknefs,  forgivenefs  of  injuries, 
and  love  to  enemies  ;  and  a  great  abhorrence  of  a 
contrary  fpirit  and  prad:ice  j  not  only  as  appearing 
in  others,  but  whereinfoever  it  had  appeared  in  him- 
fcU  ;  cauling  the  moll  bitter  repentance,  and  bro- 
kennefs  of  heart  on  account  of  any  part  inftances  of 
fuch  a  condu6t  :  A  modefl,  difcreet  and  decent  de- 
portment, arnong  fuperiours,  inferiours  and  equals; 
a  moil  diligent  improvement  of  time,  and  earneft 
care  to  lofe  no  part  of  it ;  great  watchfulnefs  againfl 
all  forts  of  fin,  of  heart,  ipccch  and  action  :  And 
this  example  and  thefe  endeavours  attended  with 
moft  happy  fruits,  and  blelled  efiecls  on  others,  in 
humanizing,  civilizing,  and  wonderfully  reforming 
and  transforming  fomc  of  the  moll  brutifli  favages ; 
idle,  immoral,  drunkards,  murderers,  grofs  idola- 
ters, and  wizards ;  bringing  them  to  permanent  fo- 
briety,  diligence,  devotion,  honelly,  confcientiouf- 
nefs,  and  charity  :  And  the  foregoing  amiable  vir- 
tues and  fuccefsful  labours  all  ending  at  laft  in  a 
marvellous  peace,  unmovable  ftability,  calmnefs,  and 

refignation, 


On  tbe preceding  Memoirs.  3^5 

refignation,  in  the  fenfible  approaches  of  death ;  with 
longing  for  the  heavenly  ftate  ;  not  only  for  the  hon- 
ours and  circumftantial  advantages  of  it,  but  above 
all  for  the  moral  perfed:ions,  and  holy  and  bleffed 
employments  of  it  :  And  thefe  things  in  a  perlbn 
indifputably  of  a  good  underftanding  and  judgment : 
I  fay,  if  all  thefe  things  are  the  fruits  of  enthufiafm, 
why  (hould  not  enthufiafm.  be  thought  a  defirable 
and  excellent  thing  ?  For  what  can  true  religion, 
what  can  the  beft  philofophy  do  more  ?  If  vapours 
and  whimfey  will  bring  men  to  the  mod  thorough 
virtue,  to  the  moft  benign  and  fruitful  morality  ; 
and  will  maintain  it  through  a  courfe  of  life,  attend- 
ed with  many  trials,  without  affedation  or  felf  ex- 
altation, and  with  an  earnefl:  conftant  bearing  tefti- 
mony  againft  the  wildnefs,  the  extravagances,  the 
bitter  zeal,  afluming  behaviour,  and  feparating 
fpirit  of  enthufiafts  ;  and  will  do  all  this  more  ef- 
fectually, than  any  thing  elfe  has  ever  done  in  any 
plain  known  inftance  that  can  be  produced  ;  if  it  be 
lb,  1  fay,  what  caufe  then  has  the  world  to  prize  and 
pray  for  this  blelTed  whimiicalnefs,  and  thele  benign 
fort  of  vapours  I 

in.  The  preceding  hiftory  fervcs  to  confirm 
thofe  doctrines  ufually  called  the  doctrines  of  grace. 
For  if  it  be  allowed  that  there  is  truth,  fubdance,  or 
value  in  the  main  of  Mr.  Brainerd's  religion,  it  will 
undoubtedly  follow,  that  thofe  doctrines  are  divine: 
Since  it  is  evident,  that  the  whole  of  it,  from  begin- 
ning to  end,  is  according  to  that  fcheme  of  things  ; 
all  built  on  thofe  apprehenfions,  notions,  and  views, 
that  are  produced  and  eftablilhed  in  the  mind  by 
thole  doctrines.  He  was  brought  by  doclrines  of 
this  kind  to  his  awakening,  and  deep  concern  about 
things  of  a  fpiritual  and  eternal  nature  j  and  by  thefe 
doctrines  his  convictions  were  maintained  and  car- 
ried on  J  and  his  converfion  was  evidently  altogether 

W  3  agreeable 


1^6        Reflections  ^;?i Observations 

agreeable  to  this  fcheme,  but  by  no  means  agreeing 
with  the  contrary ;  and  utterly  inconiiftent  with  the 
Arminian  notion  of  converfion  or  repentance.  His 
converfion  was  plainly  founded  in  a  clear  ftrongcon- 
vidion,  and  undoubting  perfuafion  of  the  truth  of 
thofe  things  appertaining  to  thefe  do6lrines,  which 
Arminians  moft  objed  againft,  and  which  his  own 
mind  had  contended  moft  about.  And  his  conver- 
fion was  no  confirming  and  perfecSling  of  moral 
principles  and  habits,  by  ufe  and  pra<^ice,  and  his 
<own  labour  in  an  induftrious  difciplining  himfelf, 
together  with  the  concurring  fuggeftions  and  conlpir- 
ing  aids  of  God's  Spirit  :  But  entirely  a  fupernatural 
work,  at  once  turning  him  from  darknefs  to  marvel- 
lous light,  and  from  the  powerof  fin  to  the  dominion 
of  divine  and  holy  principles  ;  an  effed:,  in  no  re- 
gard produced  by  his  ftrength  or  labour,  or  obtain- 
ed by  his  virtue  ;  and  not  accomplilhed  until  he 
was  firft  brought  to  a  full  convidlion  that  all  his  own 
virtue,  ftrength,  labours  and  endeavours  could  nev- 
er avail  any  thing  to  the  producing  or  procuring 
this  effedt. 

A  very  little  while  before,  his  mind  was  full  of 
the  fame  cavils  againft  the  dodlrines  of  God's  fov- 
ereign  grace,  which  are  made  by  Arminians  ;  and 
his  heart  full  even  of  a  raging  oppofition  to  them. 
And  God  was  pleafed  to  perform  this  good  work  in 
him  juft  after  a  full  end  had  been  put  to  this  cavil- 
hng  and  oppofition  j  after  he  was  entirely  convinced, 
that  he  was  dead  in  fin,  and  was  in  the  hands  of 
God,  as  the  abfoluteiy  fovereign,  unobliged,  fole 
difpofer  and  author  of  true  holinefs.  God's  fliew- 
ing  him  mercy  at  fuch  a  time,  is  a  confirmation, 
that  this  was  a  preparation  for  mercy  j  and  confe- 
quently,  that  thefe  things  which  he  was  convinced 
pf,  were  true  :  While  he  oppofcd  thefe  things,  he 
was  the-  fubjecfl  of  no  fuch  mercy  ;  though  he  fo 

parneftly 


On  the  preceding  Memoirs.  327 

earneftly  fought  it,  and  prayed  for  it  with  fo  much 
painfulnefs,  care  and  ftric^nefs  in  religion :  But  when 
once  his  oppofition  is  fully  fubdued ,  and  he  is  brought 
to  fubmit  to  the  truths,  which  he  before  had  oppof- 
ed,  with  full  convidion,  then  the  mercy  he  fought 
for  is  granted,  with  abundant  light,  great  evidence, 
and  exceeding  joy,  and  he  reaps  the  fweet  fruits  of 
it  all  his  life  after,  and  in  the  valley  of  the  Jhadow  of 
death. 

In  his  converfion,  he  was  brought  to  fee  the  glory 
of  that  way  of  fidvation  by  Chrift,  that  is  taught  in 
what  are  called  the  dod:rines  of  grace  ;  and  thence- 
forward, with  unfpeakable  joy  and  complacence,  to 
embrace  and  acquiefce  in  that  way  of  falvation.  He 
was  in  his  converfion, in  all  refpedts,  brought  to  thofe 
views,  and  that  fiate  of  mind,  which  thefe  dodrines 
fhew  to  be  neceffary.  And  if  his  converfion  was  any 
real  converfion,  or  any  thing  befides  a  mere  whim,  and 
if  the  religion  of  his  life  was  any  thingelfebutaferies 
of  freaks  of  a  whimfical  mind,  then  this  one  grand 
principle,  on  which  depends  the  wiiole  difference 
between  Calvinifls  and  Arminians,is  undeniable,  viz. 
that  the  grace  or  virtue  of  truly  good  men,  not  only 
differs  from  the  virtue  of  others  in  degree,  but  even 
in  nature  and  kind.  If  ever  Mr.  Brainerd  was  truly 
turned  from  fin  to  God  at  all,  or  ever  became  truly 
religious,  none  can  reafbnably  doubt  but  that  his 
converfion  was  at  the  time  when  he  fuppofed  it  to 
be.  The  change  he  then  experienced,  was  evident- 
ly the  greateft  moral  change  that  ever  he  pafTed  un- 
der ;  and  he  was  then  apparently  firfl  brought  to 
that  kind  of  religion,  that  remarkable  new  habit  a^id 
temper  of  mind,  which  he  held  all  his  life  after. 
The  narration  thews  it  to  be  different,  in  nature  and 
kind,  from  all  that  ever  he  was  the  fubjeft  of  before. 
It  was  evidently  wrouglit  at  once,  without  fitting 
and  preparing  his  mind,  by  gradually  convincing 

W  4  it 


Reflections  ^;7^ Observations 

it  more  and  more  of  the  fame  truths,  and  bringing 
it  nearer  and  nearer  to  fuch  a  temper :  For  it  was 
foon  after  his  mind  had  been  remarkably  full  of 
blafphemy,  and  a  vehement  exercife  of  fenfible  en- 
mity againfl  God,  and   great   oppofition  to  thofe 
truths,  which  he  was  now  brought  with  his  whole 
foul  to  embrace,  and  reft:  in,  as  divine  and  glorious, 
and  to  place  his  happinefs  in  the  contemplation  and 
improvement  of.     And  he  himfelf  (who  was  furely 
beft  able  to  judge)  declares,  that  the  difpofitions 
and  afFedlions,  which  were  then  given   him,   and 
thenceforward  maintained  in  him,  were  mofi:  fenfibly 
and  certainly,  perfedlly  different,  in  their  nature,  from 
all  that  ever  he  was  the  fubjedt  of  before,  or  that  he  ever 
had  any  conception  of.     This  he  ever  ftood  to  and 
was   peremptory   in  (as   what  he  certainly  knew) 
even  to  his  death.     He  mufl:  be  looked  upon  as  ca- 
pable of  judging  ;  he  had  opportunity  to  know  : 
He  had  pradtifed  a  great  deal  of  religion  before,  was 
exceeding  ftridt  and  confcientious,  and  had  continu- 
ed fo  for  a  long  time  ;  had  various  religious  affec- 
tions, with  which  he  often  flattered  himfelf,  and  feme- 
times  pleafed  himfelf  as  being  now  in  a  good  eftate. 
And  after  hehad  thofe  new  experiences,  that  began  in 
his  converfion,  they  were  continued  to  the  end  of  his 
life  J  long  enough  for  him  ilioroughly  toobferve  their 
nature,  and  compare  them  with  what  had  been  before. 
Doubtlefs  he  was  co?7ipos  mentis  ;  and  was  at  lea  ft 
one  of  fo  good  an  underftanding  and  judgment,  as 
to  be  pretty  well  capable  of  difcerning  and  compar- 
ing the  things  that  paffed  in  his  own  mind. 

It  is  further  obfervable,  that  his  religion  all  along 
operated  in  fuch  a  manner  as  tended  to  confirm  his 
mind  in  the  dodlrinesof  God*s  abfolute  lovereignty, 
man's  univerfal  and  entire  dependence  on  God's 
power  and  grace,  &c.  The  more  his  religion  pre- 
vailed in  his  heart,   and  the  fuller  he  was  of  divine 

love, 


On  the  preceding  Memoirs.  329 

love,  and  of  clear  and  delightful  views  of  fpiritual 
things,  and  the  more  his  heart  was  engaged  in  God's 
fervice ;  the  more  fenfible  he  was  of  the  certainty 
and  the  excellency  and  importance  of  thefe  truths, 
and  the  more  he  was  afiedted  Vv'ith  them,  and  rejoic- 
ed in  them.  And  he  declares  particularly,  that  when 
he  lay  for  a  long  while  on  the  verge  of  the  eternal 
world,  often  expedting  to  be  in  that  world  in  a  few 
minutes,  yet  at  the  fame  time  enjoying  great  fcreni- 
ty  of  mind,  and  clearnefs  of  thought,  and  being  mofl 
apparently  in  a  peculiar  manner  at  a  diftance  from 
an  enthufiaftical  frame,  he  at  that  time  faw  clearly 
the  truth  of  thofe  great  dotlrines  of  the  gofpel,  which 
are  juftly  ftiled  the  docftrines  of  grace,  and  never  felt 
himlelf  fo  capable  of  demonftrating  the  truth  of 
them. 

So  that  it  is  very  evident,  Mr.  Brainerd*s  religion 
was  wholly  correfpondent  to  what  is  called  the  Cal- 
viniftical  fcheme,  and  was  the  efFed  of  thofe  doc- 
trines applied  to  his  heart  :  And  certainly  it  cannot 
be  denied,  that  the  effed:  was  good,  unlefs  we  turn 
Atheifts,  or  Deifts.  I  would  afk,  whether  there  be 
any  fuch  thing  in  reality,  as  chriftian  devotion  ?  If 
there  be,  What  is  it  ?  What  is  its  nature  ?  And  what 
its  juft  meafure  ?  Should  it  not  be  in  a  great  degree  ? 
We  read  abundantly  in  fcripture — of  loving  God 
with  all  the  heart,  with  all  the  foul,  with  all  the 
mind,  and  with  all  the  ftrength,  of  delighting  in 
God,  of  rejoicing  in  the  Lord,  rejoicing  with  joy 
unfpeakable  and  full  of  glory,  the  foul's  magnifying 
the  Lord,  thirfting  for  God,  hungering  and  thirfting 
after  righteoufnefs,  the  foul's  breaking  for  the  long- 
ing it  hath  to  God's  judgments,  praying  to  God 
with  groanings  that  cannot  be  uttered,  mourning  tor 
/in  with  a  broken  heart  and  contrite  fpirit,  &c.  How 
full  is  the  book  of  Pfalms,  and  other  parts  of  fcrip- 
ture, of  fvich  things  as  theie  !  Now  wherein  do  thefe 

things, 


330         Reflections  ^«i  Observations 

things,  as  exprefled  by,  and  appearing  in  Mr.  Brai- 
nerd,  either  the  things  themfelves,  or  their  effedls 
and  fruits,  differ  from  the  fcripture  reprefentations  ? 
Thefe  things  he  was  brought  to  by  that  flrange  and 
wonderful  transformation  of  the  man,  which  he  call- 
ed his  converfion.  And  does  not  this  well  agree 
with  what  is  fo  often  faid,  in  Old  Teftament  and 
New,  concerning  the  giving  of  a  new  heart,  creating 
a  right  fpirit,  a  being  renewed  in  the  fpirit  of  the 
mind,  a  being  fand:ified  throughout,  becoming  a 
new  creature,  &c  ?  Now  where  is  there  to  be  found 
an  Arminian  converfion  or  repentance,  confiding  in 
fo  great  and  admirable  a  change  ?  Can  the  Armin- 
ians  produce  an  inflance,  within  this  age,  and  fo 
plainly  within  our  reach  and  view,  of  fuch  a  ref- 
ormation, fuch  a  transformation  of  a  man,  to  fcirp- 
tural  devotion,  heavenly  mindednefs,  and  true  chrif- 
tian  morality,  in  one  that  before  lived  without  thefe 
things,  on  the  foot  of  their  principles,  and  through 
the  influence  of  their  dodrines  ? 

And  here  is  worthy  to  be  confidered,  not  only  the 
eflre<ft  of  Calviniflical  doctrines,  as  they  are  called, 
on  Mr.  Brainerd  himfelf,  but  alfo  the  effedl  of  the 
fame  dodtrines,  as  taught  and  inculcated  by  him,  on 
others.  It  is  abundantly  pretended  and  afTerted  of 
late,  that  thefe  dodtrines  tend  to  undermine  the  very 
foundations  of  all  religion  and  morality,  and  to  ener- 
vate and  vacate  all  reafonable  motives  to  the  exer- 
cife  and  practice  of  them,  and  lay  invincible  tum- 
bling blocks  before  infidels,  to  hinder  their  embrac- 
ing chriflianity  ;  and  that  the  contrary  dodtrines 
are  the  fruitful  principles  of  virtue  and  goodnefs, 
fet  religion  on  its  right  bafis,  rcprefent  it  in  an  ami- 
able light,  give  its  motives  their  full  force,  and  re- 
commend it  to  thereafon  and  common  fenfe  of  man- 
kind. But  where  can  they  find  an  inflance  of  fo 
great  and  fignal  an  effe(5t  of  their  dodlrincs,  in  bring- 
ing 


On  the  preceding  Memoirs.  331 

ing  infidels,  who  were  at  fuch  a  diftance  from  all 
that  is  civil,  human,  fober,  rational,  and  chriftian, 
and  fo  full  of  ,  inveterate  prejudices  againft  thefe 
things,  to  fuch  a  degree  of  humanity,  civility,  exer- 
cife  of  reafon,  felf  denial,  and  chriftian  virtue  ?  Ar- 
minians  place  religion  in  morality  :  Let  them  bring 
an  inftance  of  their  do(5lrines  producing  fuch  a  tranf- 
formation  of  a  people  in  point  of  moralit)'-.  It  is 
ftrange,  if  the  allvvife  God  fo  orders  things  in  his 
providence,  that  reafonable  and  proper  means,  and 
his  own  means,  which  he  himfelf  has  appointed, 
lliould  in  no  known  remarkable  inftance  be  inftru- 
mental  to  produce  fo  good  an  efFe(5t ;  an  efFe(5t  fo 
agreeable  to  his  own  word  and  mind,  and  that  very 
effedt  for  which  he  appointed  thefe  excellent  means  ; 
that  they  Ihould  not  be  fo  fuccefsful  as  thofe  means 
which  are  not  his  own,  but  very  contrary  to  them, 
and  of  a  contrary  tendency  ;  means  that  are  in  them- 
felves  very  abfurd,  and  tend  to  root  all  religion  and 
virtue  out  of  the  world,  to  promote  and  eftablifti  in- 
fidelity, and  to  lay  an  infuperable  ftumbling  block 
before  pagans,  to  hinder  their  embracing  the  gofpei ; 
I  fay,  if  this  be  the  true  ftate  of  the  cafe,  it  is  cer- 
tainly pretty  wonderful,  and  an  event  worthy  of 
fome  attention. 

I  know,  that  many  will  be  ready  to  fay,  it  is  too 
foon  yet  to  glory  in  the  work,  that  has  been  wrought 
among  Mr.  Brainerd*s  Indians  j  it  is  beft  to  wait 
and  fee  the  final  event  j  it  may  be,  all  will  come  to 
nothing  by  and  by  :  To  which  I  anfvvcr,  not  toinfift 
that  it  will  not  follow,  according  to  Arminian  prin- 
ciples, they  are  not  now  true  chriftians,  really  pious 
and  godly,  though  they  ftiould  fall  away  and  come 
to  nothing,  that  I  never  fuppofed,  every  oneof  thofe 
Indians,  who  in  profeflion  renounced  their  heathcn- 
ifm  and  vifibly  embraced  chriftianity,  and  have  had 
fome  appearances  of  piety,  will  finally  prove  true 

converts  : 


2;^2         Reflections  ^//^Observations 

converts  :  If  two  thirds,  or  indeed  one  half  of  them, 
as  great  a  proportion  as  there  is  in  the  parable  of  the 
ten  virgins,  fhould  perfevere  ;  it  will  be  fufficient  to 
fhew  the  work  wrought  among  them,  to  have  been 
truly  admirable  and  glorious.  But  fo  much  of  per- 
manence of  their  religion  has  already  appeared,  as 
fhews  it  to  be  fomething  elfe  befides  an  Indian  hu- 
mour or  good  mood,  or  any  tranfient  efFccft  in  the 
conceits,  notions,  and  affections  of  thefe  ignorant 
people,  excited  at  a  particular  turn,  by  artful  man- 
agement. For  it  is  now  more  than  three  years  ago, 
that  this  work  began  among  them,  and  a  remarkable 
change  appeared  in  many  of  them  ;  iince  which 
time  the  number  of  vifible  converts  has  greatly  in- 
creafed  ;  And  by  repeated  accounts,  from  feveral 
hands, they  ftill  generally  perfevere  in  diligent  religion 
and  ftrid:  virtue.  I  think  worthy  to  be  here  inlerted,  a 
letter  from  a  young  gentleman,  a  candidate  for  the 
miniftry,  one  of  thofe  appointed  by  the  hon- 
ourable Commillioners  in  Bofton,  as  Milficnaries 
to  the  heathen  of  the  Six  Nations,  fo  called  ; 
who,  by  their  order,  dwelt  with  Mr.  John  Brai- 
nerd,  among  thefe  chriflian  Indians,  in  order  to 
their  being  prepared  for  the  bufinefs  of  their  mif- 
fion.  The  letter  was  written  from  thence  to  his  pa- 
rents herein  Northampton,  and  is  as  follows. 

Bethel,  in  Neiv-yer/ej,  Jzn\ia.Ty  14,  1747,8. 

Honoured  and  dear  Parents, 
AFTER  a  long  and  uncomfortable  journey,  by 
reafon  of  bad  weather,  I  arrived  at  Mr.  Brainerd's 
the  fixth  of  this  inftant  ;  where  I  dcfign  to  rtay 
this  winter  :  And  as  yet,  upon  many  accounts,  am 
well  fatisfied  with  my  coming  hither.  The  flate 
and  circumilances  of  the  Indians,  fpiritual  and  tem- 
poral, much  exceed  what  I  exped:ed.  I  liave  en- 
deavoured to  acquaint  myfelf  with  the  Hate  ot  the 

Indians 


On  the  preceding  Memoirs.  333 

Indians  in  general,  with  particular  perfons,  and  with 
the  fchool,  as  much  as  the  fliort  time  I  have  been 
here  would  admit  of.  And  notwithftanding  my  ex- 
pecftations  were  very  much  raifed,  from  Mr.  David 
Brainerd's  Journal,  and  from  particular  informations 
from  him  ;  yet  I  muft  confefs,  that  in  many  re- 
fpccls,  they  werenot  equal  to  that  which  now  appears 
t6  me  to  be  true,  concerning  the  glorious  work  of 
divine  grace  amongfl:  the  Indians. 

The  evening  after  I  came  to  town,  I  had  oppor- 
tunity to  fee  the  Indians  together,  whilfl:  the  Rev* 
Mr.  Arthur  preached  to  them  :  At  which  time 
there  appeared  a  very  general  and  uncommon  feri- 
ouihefs  and  folemnit)'-  in  the  congregation  :  And 
this  appeared  to  me  to  be  the  effedl  of  an  inward 
fenfe  of  the  importance  of  divine  truths,  and  not  be- 
caui'e  they  were  hearing  a  ftranger  :  Which  was 
abundantly  confirmed  to  me  the  next  Sabbath,  when 
there  was  the  fame  devout  attendance  on  divine  fer- 
vice,  and  a  furprifing  folemnity  appearing  in  the 
performance  of  each  part  of  divine  worlliip.  And 
fome,  who  are  hopefully  true  chriftians,  appear  to 
have  been  at  that  time  much  enlivened  and  comfort- 
ed ;  not  from  any  obfervable  commotions  then,  but 
from  converfation  afterwards  :  And  others  feemed 
to  be  under  preiling  concern  for  their  fouls.  I  have 
endeavoured  to  acquaint  myielf  with  particular  per- 
fons ;  many  of  whom  feem  to  be  very  humble  and 
growing  chriftians  ;  although  fome  of  them,  as  I 
am  informed,  were  before  their  con  verfion  moft  mon- 
ftroully  wicked. 

Religious  converfation  feems  to  be  very  pleaiing 
and  delightful  to  many,  and  efpecially  that  which 
relates  to  the  exercifes  of  the  heart.  And  many  here 
do  not  feem  to  be  real  chriftians  only,  but  growing 
chriftians  alfo  ;  as  well  in  doctrinal,  as  experiment- 
al knowledge.  Bciides  my  converfLition  with  par- 
ticular 


334       Reflections  ^W Observations 

ticular  perfons,  I  have  had  opportunity  to  attend  up- 
on one  of  Mr.  Braincrd's  catechetical  led:ures  ; 
where  I  was  furprifed  at  their  readinefs  in  anfwering 
queftions  which  they  had  not  been  ufed  to  ;  al- 
though Mr.  Brainerd  complained  much  of  their  un- 
common deficiency.  It  is  furprifing,  to  fee  this 
people,  who,  not  long  (ince  were  led  captive  by  Sa- 
tan at  his  will,  and  living  in  the  practice  of  all  man- 
ner of  abominations,  without  the  leaft  fenfe  even  of 
moral  honefty,  yet  now  living  foberly  and  regular- 
ly, and  not  feeking  every  man  his  own,  but  every 
man,  in  fome  fenfe,  his  neighbour's  good  ;  and  to 
fee  thofe,  who  but  a  little  while  pad,  knew  nothing 
of  the  true  God,  now  worfhipping  him  in  a  folemn 
and  devout  manner  j  not  only  in  publick,  but  in 
their  families  and  in  fecret ;  which  is  manifeflly  the 
cafe ;  it  being  a  difficult  thing  to  walk  out  in  the 
woods  in  the  morning,  without  difturbing  perfons 
at  their  fecret  devotion.  And  it  feems  wonderful » 
that  this  fhouldbe  the  cafe,  not  only  with  adult  per- 
fons, but  with  children  alfo.  It  is  obfervable  here, 
that  many  children,  if  not  the  children  in  general, 
retire  into  fecret  places  to  pray.  And  as  far  as  at 
prefent  I  can  judge,  this  is  not  the  efFed:  of  cuflom 
and  fafliion,  but  of  real  ferioufnefs  and  thoughtful- 
nefs  about  their  fouls. 

I  have  frequently  gone  into  the  fchool,  and  have 
fpent  confiderable  time  there  amongft  the  children  ; 
and  have  been  furprifed  to  fee,  not  only  their  diligent 
attendance  upon  the  bufinefs  of  the  fchool,  but  alfo 
the  proficiency  they  have  made  in  it,  in  reading  and 
writing,  and  in  their  catechifms  of  divers  forts.  It 
feems  to  be  as  pleafing  and  as  natural  to  thefe  chil- 
dren to  have  their  books  in  their  hands,  as  it  does 
for  many  others  to  be  at  play.  I  have  gone  into  an 
houfe  where  there  has  been  a  number  of  children 
accidentally  gathered  together  ;  and  obferved,  that 

every 


On  the  preceding  Memoirs.  335 

every  one  had  his  book  in  his  hand,  and  was  dili- 
gently ftudying  of  it.  There  is  to  the  number  of 
about  thirty  of  thefe  children,  who  can  anfwer  to  all 
the  qucftions  in  the  affembly's  catechifm  ;  and  the 
bigger  part  of  them  are  able  to  do  it  with  the  proofs 
to  the  fourth  commandment.  I  wifli  there  were 
many  fuch  fchools  :  I  confefs,  that  I  never  was  ac- 
quainted with  fuch  an  one,  in  many  refpedls.  Q 
that  what  God  has  done  here,  may  prove  to  be  the 
beginning  of  a  far  more  glorious  and  extenfive  work 
of  grace  among  the  heathen. 

I  am  your  obedient  and  dutiful  fon, 

JOB  STRONG. 

p.  S.  Since  the  date  of  this,  I  have  had  opportuni- 
ty to  attend  upon  another  of  Mr.  Brainerd*s  cate- 
chetical le(ftures  ;  and  truly  I  was  convinced,  that 
Mr.  Braincrd  did  not  complain  before  of  his  peo- 
ple's defeCls  in  anfwering  to  queftions  propofed, 
without  reafon  :  For  although  their  anfwers  at  that 
time  exceeded  my  expe<5tations  very  much  ;  yet 
their  performances  at  this  lecture  very  much  exceed- 
ed them. 

IV.  Is  there  not  much  in  the  preceding  Memoirs 
of  Mr.  Brainerd  to  teach,  and  excite  to  duty,  us 
who  are  called  to  the  work  of  the  miniflry,  and  all 
that  are  candidates  for  that  great  work  .?  What  a 
deep  fenfe  did  he  feem  to  have  of  the  greatnefs  and 
importance  of  that  work,  and  with  what  weight  did 
it  lie  on  his  mind  !  How  fen/ible  was  he  of  his  own 
infufficiency  for  this  work  ;  and  how  great  was  his 
dependence  on  God's  fufficiency  !  How  felicitous, 
that  he  might  be  fitted  for  it !  And  to  this  end,  how 
much  time  did  he  fpcnd  in  prayer  and  failing,  as 
well  as  reading  and  meditation  ;  giving  himfelf  to 
thefe  things  !  How  did  he  dedicate  his  whole  life, 
all  his  powers  and  talents  to  God  ;  and  forfake  and 

renounce 


336         Refeections  5«i  Observations 

renounce  the  world,  with  all  its  pleafing  and  enfnar- 
ing  enjoyments,  that  he  might  be  wholly  at  liberty, 
to  fcrve  Chriil  in  this  work ;  and  to  pleafe  him  who 
had  chofenhim  to  be  a  foldier,  under  the  Captaifi  of 
ourfahation  !  With  what  folicitude,  folemnify,  and 
dihgence  did  he  devote  himfelf  to  God  our  Saviour, 
and  feek  his  prefcnce  and  bleffing  in  fecret,  at  the 
time  of  his  ordination  !  And  how  did  his  whole 
heart  appear  to  be  conftantly  engaged,  his  whole 
time  employed,  and  his  whole  ftrength  fpent  in  the 
bufinefs  he  then  Iblemnly  undertook,  and  was  pub- 
lickly  fet  apart  to  !  And  his  hiftory  (hews  us  the 
right  way  to  fuccefs  in  the  work  of  the  miniftry. 
He  fought  it,  as  a  refolute  foldier  feeks  victory,  in  a 
fiege  or  battle ;  or  as  a  man  that  runs  a  race,  for  a 
great  prize.  Animated  with  love  to  Chrift  and 
fouls,  how  did  he  labour  always  fervently,  not  only 
in  word  and  dodrinc,  in  publick  and  private,  but 
in  prayers  day  and  night,  wreftling  with  God  in  fe- 
cret, and  travailing  in  birth,  with  unutterable  groans 
and  agonies,  until  Chrift  were  formed  in  the  hearts 
of  the  people  to  whom  he  was  fent  !  How  did  he 
thirft  for  a  blefting  on  his  miniftry  ;  and  watch  for 
fouls ^  as  one  that  viufl  give  account  !  How  did  he  go 
forth  in  theflrength  of  the  Lord  God ;  feeking  and 
depending  on  a  fpecial  influence  of  the  Spirit  to  af- 
fift  and  fucceed  him  !  And  what  was  the  happy 
fruit  at  laft,  though  after  long  waiting,  and  many 
dark  and  difcouraging  appearances  !  Like  a  true 
fon  of  Jacob,  he  pcrfevered  in  wreftling,  through  all 
thedarknefsofthe  night,  until  thebreakingof  the  day. 
And  his  example  of  labouring,  praying,  denying 
himfelf,  and  enduring  hardncfs,  with  unfainting 
refolution  and  patience,  and  his  faithful,  vigilant, 
and  prudent  condudt  in  many  other  refpeds,  which 
it  would  be  too  long  now  particularly  to  recite,  may 
afford  inftru<^ion  to  miflionaries  in  particular. 

V. 


On  the  preceding  Memoirs.  337 

V.  The  foregoing  account  of  Mr.  Brainerd's  life 
may  afford  inftruiSlion  to  chriftians  in  general  -,  as  it 
Ihews,  in  many  refpe<5ls,  the  right  way  of  pradlifing 
religion,  in  order  to  obtain  the  ends  of  it,  and 
receive  the  benefits  of  it  j  or  how  chriftians  fhould 
run  the  race  Jet  before  ihem^  if  they  would  not  run 
in  vain,  or  run  as  uncertainly,  but  would  honouf 
God  in  the  world,  adorn  their  profeffion,  be  fervice- 
able  to  mankind,  have  the  comforts  of  religion  while 
they  hve,  be  free  from  difqujeting  doubts  and  dark 
apprehenfions  about  the  ftate  of  their  fouls  ;  enjoy 
peace  in  the  approaches  of  death,  ^nd  Jinijh  their 
courfe  with  joy.  In  general,  he  much  recommend- 
ed, for  this  purpofe,  the  redemption  of  time,  great 
diligence  in  the  bufinefs  of  the  chriftian  life,  watch- 
fulnefs,  6cc.  And  he  very  remarkably  exemplified 
thefe  things. 

But  particularly,  his  example  and  fuccefs  with  re- 
gard to  one  duty  in  fpecial,  may  be  of  great  ufe  to 
both  minifters  and  private  chriftians  ;  I  mean  the 
duty  of  fecret  fafting.  The  reader  has  feen,  how 
much  Mr.  Brainerd  recommends  this  duty,  and  how 
frequently  he  exercifcd  himfelf  in  it  ;  nor  can  it 
well  have  efcaped  obfervation,  how  much  he  was 
owned  and  blefled  in  it,  and  of  what  great  benefit  it 
evidently  was  to  his  foul.  Among  all  the  many 
days  he  fpent  in  fccrct  fafting  and  prayer,  that  he 
gives  an  account  of  in  his  Diary,  there  is  fcarce  an 
inftance  of  one,  but  what  was  either  attended  or  foon 
followed  with  apparent  fuccefs,  and  a  remarkable 
bleffing,  in  fpecial  incomes  and  confolationsof  God*s 
Spirit  ;  and  very  often,  before  the  day  was  ended-; 
But  it  niuft  be  obferved,  that  when  he  fet  about  this 
duty,  he  did  it  in  good  earneft  ;  ftirring  up  himfelf 
to  take  hold  of  God,  and  continuing  in  flan  i  in  prayer  i 
with  much  of  the  fpirit  of  Jacob,  who  faid  to  the 
angel,  /  zvil!  not  let  thee  go,  except  thou  blefs  me. 

X  Vi.Thm 


338        Reflections  ^W Observations 

Vr.  There  is  much  in  the  preceding  account  to 
excite  and  encourage  God*s  people  to  earneft  prayers 
and  endeavours  for  the  advancement  and  enlarge- 
ment of  the  kingdom  of  Chrift  in  the  world.  Mr. 
Brainerd  fat  us  an  excellent  example  in  this  refped:. 
He  fought  the  profperity  of  Zion  with  all  his  might. 
He  preferred  Jerufalem  above  his  chief  joy.  How 
did  his  foul  long  for  it,  and  pant  after  it !  And  how 
earneftly  and  often  did  he  wreftle  with  God  for  it ! 
And  how  far  did  he,  in  thefe  defires  and  prayers, 
feem  to  be  carried  beyond  all  private  and  felfifh 
views  !  Being  animated  by  a  pure  love  to  Chrift,  an 
earneft  defire  of  his  glory,  and  a  difinterefted  affec- 
tion to  the  fouls  of  mankind. 

As  there  is  much  in  Mr.  Brainerd *s  life  to  encour- 
age chriftians  to  feek  the  advancement  of  Chrift's 
kingdom,  in  general ;  fo  there  is,  in  particular,  to 
pray  for  the  converfion  of  the  Indians  on  this  conti- 
nent, and  to  exert  themfelves  in  the  ufe  of  proper 
means  for  its  accomplifliment.  For  it  appears,  that 
he  in  his  unutterable  longings  and  wreftlings  of  foul 
for  the  flouriftiing  of  religion,  had  his  mind  peculi- 
arly intent  on  the  converfion  and  falvation  of  thefe 
people,  and  his  heart  more  efpecially  engaged  in 
prayer  for  them.  And  if  we  confider  the  degree  and 
manner  in  which  he,  from  time  to  time,  fought  and 
hoped  for  an  extenfive  work  of  grace  among  them, 
I  think  we  have  reafon  to  hope,  that  the  wonderful 
things,  which  God  wrought  among  them  by  him, 
are  but  a  forerunner  of  fomething  yet  much  more 
glorious  and  extenfive  of  that  kind  ;  and  this  may 
juftly  be  an  encouragement,  to  well  difpofed  char- 
itable perfons,  to  honour  the  Lord  with  their fubjlance^ 
by  contributing,  as  they  are  able,  to  promote  the 
fpreading  of  the  gofpel  among  them  ;  and  this  alfo 
may  incite  and  encourage  gentlemen  who  are  incor- 
porated, and  intrufted  with  the  care  and  difpofal  of 

thofe 


On  the  preceding  Memoirs.  339 

ihofe  liberal  benefad:ions,  which  have  already  been 
made  by  pious  perfons,  to  that  end  ;  and  likewife 
the  miffionaries  themfelves,  that  are  or  niay  be  em- 
ployed ;  and  it  may  be  of  difecflion  unto  both,  as  to 
the   proper  qualifications  of  miffionaries,  and  the 
proper  meafures  to  be  taken  in  order  to  their  fuccefs. 
One  thing  in  particular,  I  would  take  occafion 
from  the  foregoing  hiftory  to  mention  and  propofe 
to  the  confideration  of  fuch  as  have  the  care  of  pro- 
viding and   fending  miffionaries  among  favages  ; 
viz.  Whether  it  would  not  ordinarily  be  beft  to  fend 
two  together  ?  It  is  pretty  manifefl,  that  Mr.  Brai- 
rierd*s  going,  as  he  did,  alone  into  the  howling  wil- 
dernefs,  was  one  great  occafion  of  fuch  a  prevailing 
of  melancholy  on  his  mind  ;  which  was  his  greateft 
difad vantage.     He  was  much  in  fpeaking  of  it  him- 
felf,  when  he  was  here  in  his  dying  ftate  ;  and  ex- 
prefTed  himfelf,  to  this  purpofe,  that  none  could  con- 
ceive of  the  difadvantage  a  miffionary  in  fuch  cir- 
cumftances  was  under,  by  being  alone  ;  efpecially 
as  it  expofed  him  to  difcouragement  and  melancho- 
ly :  And  fpoke  of  the  wifdom  of  Chrift  in  fending^ 
forth  his  difciples  by  two  and  two  j  and  left  it  as 
his  dying  advice  to  his  brother,  never  to  go  to  Suf- 
quehannah,  to  travel  about  in  that  remote  wilder-* 
nefs,  to  preach  to  the  Indians  there,  as  he  had  ofteii 
done,  without  the  company  of  a  fellow  miffionary. 
VII.  One  thing  more  may  not  be  unprofitably  ob- 
ferved  in  the  preceding  account  of  Mr.  Brairlerd  3 
and  that  is  the  fpeciai  and  remarkable  difpofai  of  Di-^ 
vixie  Providence,  with  regard  to  the  circum.ibnces  of 
his  lafl:  ficknefs  and  death. 

Though  he  had  been  long  infirm,  his  cOnftitution 
being  much  broken  by  his  fatigues  and  hardfiiips  ; 
and  though  he  was  often  brought  very  low  by  illnefs, 
before  he  left  Kaunaumeek,  and  alfo  while  he  lived 
at  the  Forks  of  Delaware  \  yet  his  life  was  preferved 
X  %  until 


340       Reflections  ^«^ Observations 

until  he  had  feen  that  which  he  had  fo  long  and 
greatly  defired  and  fought,  a  glorious  work  of  grace 
among  the  Indians,  and  had  received  the  wiihed  for 
bleffing  of  God  on  his  labours.  Though  as  it  were 
in  deaths  oft,  yet  he  lived  to  behold  the  happy  fruits 
of  the  long  continued  travail  of  his  foul  and  labour 
of  his  body,  in  the  wonderful  converfion  of  many  of 
the  heathen,  and  the  happy  effba:  of  it  in  the  great 
change  of  their  converfation,  with  many  circumftan- 
ces  which  afforded  a  fair  profpe(5l  of  the  continuance 
of  God*s  bleffing  upon  them  :  Thus  he  did  not  de- 
part, until  his  eyes  had  feen  God^s  fahation. 

Though  in  that  winter  that  he  lay  iick  at  Mr. 
Dickinfon's  in  Elizabeth-Town,  he  continued  for  a 
long  time  in  an  extremely  low  ftate,  fo  that  his  life 
was  almoft  defpaired  of,  and  his  ftate  was  fome- 
times  fuch  that  it  was  hardly  expected  he  would 
live  a  day  to  an  end ;  yet  his  life  was  fpared  a  while 
longer  j  he  lived  to  fee  his  brother  arrived  in  New- 
Jerfey,  being  come  to  fucceed  him  in  the  care  of  his 
Indians;  and  he  himfelf  had  opportunity  toaffiftin 
his  examination  and  introduction  into  his  bufinefs  ; 
and  to  commit  the  condud:  of  his  dear  people  to  one 
whom  he  well  knew,  and  could  put  confidence  in,  and 
life  freedom  within  giving  him  particular  inftrudtions 
and  charges,  and  under  whofe  care  he  could  leave 
his  congregation  with  great  cheerfulnefs. 

The  providence  of  God  was  remarkable  in  fo  or- 
dering of  it,  that  before  his  death  he  fliould  take  a 
journey  into  New-England,  and  go  to  Bofton  : 
Which  was,  in  many  refpe<Sl:s,  of  very  great  and 
happy  confequence  to  the  intereft  of  religion,  and 
efpecially  among  his  own  people.  By  this  means, 
as  has  been  obferved,  he  was  brought  into  acquaint- 
ance with  many  perfons  of  not^  and  influence,  min- 
ifters  and  others,  belonging  both  to  the  town  and  va- 
rious parts  of  the  country  ;  and  had  opportunity, 

under 


On  the  preceding  Memoirs.  341 

under  the  beft  advantages,  to  bear  a  teftimony  for 
God  and  true  religion,  and  againfl  thofe  falfe  appear- 
ances of  it  that  have  proved  moft  pernicious  to  the 
interefts  of  Chrift*s  kingdom  in  the  land.  And  the 
providence  of  God  is  particularly  obfervable  in  this 
circumftance  of  the  teftimony  he  there  bore  for  true 
religion,  viz.  That  he  there  was  brought  fo  near 
the  grave,  and  continued  for  {0  long  a  time  on  the 
very  brink  of  eternity ;  and  from  time  to  time  look- 
ed on  himfelf,  and  was  looked  on  by  others,  as  jult 
leaving  the  world  ;  and  that  in  thefe  circumftances 
he  (hould  be  fo  particularly  diretled  and  affifled  in 
his  thoughts  and  views  of  religion,  todiftinguifii  be^ 
tween  the  true  and  the  falfe,  with  fuch  clearnefs  and 
evidence  ;  and  that  after  this  he  fliould  be  unexpect- 
edly and  furprifingly  reftored  and  ftrengthened,  lb 
far  as  to  be  able  to  converfe  freely  ;  and  have  fuch 
opportunity,  and  fpecial  occafions  to  declare  thefen- 
timents  he  had  in  thefe,  which  were,  to  human  ap- 
prehenfion,  his  dying  circumftances  ;  and  to  bear 
his  teftimony  concerning  the  naturfe  of  true  religion, 
and  concerning  the  mifchievous  tendency  of  its  moft 
prevalent  counterfeits  and  falfe  appearances ;  as  things 
he  had  a  fpecial,  clear,  diftindt  view  of  at  that  time, 
when  he  expedled  in  a  few  minutes  to  be  \\\  eterni- 
ty j  and  the  certainty  and  importance  of  which 
were  then,  in  a  peculiar  manner,  impreftcd  on  his 
mind. 

Among  the  happy  confequences  of  his  going  Xo 
Bofton,  were  thofe  liberal  benefa(5lions  that  have 
been  mentioned,  which  were  made  by  pious  difpoi- 
ed  perfons,  for  the  maintaining  and  promoting  the: 
intereft  of  religion  among  his  i)eople  :  And  alio  the 
meeting  of  a  number  of  gentlemen  in  Bofton,  of 
note  and  ability,  to  confult  upon  meafures  for  that 
purpofe  j  who  were  excited,  by  their  acquaintance 
and  tonverfation  with  Mr.  Brainerd,  and  by  the  ac- 

X  3  count 


34a       Reflections  ^;;^ Observations 

count  of  the  great  things  God  had  wrought  by  his 
miniftry,  to  unite  themfelves,  that  by  their  joint  en- 
deavcftirs  and  contributions  they  might  promote  the 
kingdom  of  Chrift,  and  the  fpiritual  good  of  their 
fellow  creatures,  among  the  Indians  in  New-Jerfey, 
and  elfewhere. 

The  providence  of  God  was  obfervable  in  his  go- 
ing to  Bofton  at  a  time  when  not  only  the  honoura- 
ble Commiflioners  were  feeking  miffionaries  to  the 
Six  Nations  ;  but  juft  after  his  Journal,  which  gives 
an  account  of  his  labours  and  fuccefs  among  the  In- 
dians, had  been  received  and  fpread  in  Bofton  : 
Whereby  his  name  was  known,  and  the  minds  of 
ferious  people  were  well  prepared  to  receive  his  per- 
fon,  and  the  teftimony  he  there  gave  for  God  ;  to 
exert  themfelves  for  the  upholding  and  promoting 
the  intereft  of  religion  in  his  congregation,  and 
amongft  the  Indians  elfewhere  ;  and  to  regard  his 
judgment  concerning  the  qualifications  of  miiliona- 
ries,  &c.  If  he  had  gone  there  the  fall  before,  when 
he  had  intended  to  have  made  his  journey  intoNew- 
Engjand,but  was  prevented  by  afuddengreat  increafe 
of  his  illnefs,  it  would  not  have  been  likely  to  have 
been  in  any  meafure  to  fogood  efFe(5l: :  And  alio  if  he 
had  not  been  unexpectedly  detained  in  Bofton  :  For 
-when  he  went  from  my  houfe,  he  intended  to  make 
but  a  very  fhort  ftay  there  :  But  Divine  Providence, 
by  his  being  brought  fo  low  there,  detained  him 
long  ;  thereby  to  make  way  for  the  fulfilling  its.  ovyn 
gracious  defigns. 

The  providence  of  God  was  remarkable  in  {o  or- 
dering, that  although  he  was  brought  fo  very  near  the 
grave  in  Bofton,  that  it  was  not  in  the  leaft  expe(5led 
he  would  ever  come  alive  out  of  his  chamber  ;  yet 
he  wonderfully  revived,  and  was  preferved  fcveral 
months  longer  :  So  that  he  had  opportunity  to  fee, 
and  fully  to  converfe  with  both  his  younger  breth«? 

rcn 


On  the  preceding  Memoirs.  343 

ren  before  he  died  ;  which  was  a  thing  he  greatly 
defired  ;  and  efpecially  to  fee  his  brother  John,  with 
whom  was  left  the  care  of  his  congregation;  that 
he  might  by  him  be  fully  informed  of  their  flate, 
and  might  leave  with  him  fuch  inftrudtions  and  di- 
redlions  as  were  requifite  in  order  to  their  fpiritual 
welfare,  and  to  fend  to  them  his  dying  charges  and 
counfels.  And  he  had  alfo  an  opportunity,  by 
means  of  this  fufpenfion  of  his  death,  to  find  and 
recommend  a  couple  of  perfons  fit  to  be  employed 
as  miffionaries  to  the  Six  Nations,  as  had  been  de- 
fired  of  him. 

Although  it  was  the  pleafure  of  a  fovereign  God, 
that  he  fhould  be  taken  away  from  his  congregation, 
the  people  that  he  had  begotten  through  the  gofpel, 
who  were  fo  dear  to  him  ;  yet  it  was  granted  to  him, 
that  before  he  died  he  fliould  fee  them  well  provided 
for,  every  way  :  He  faw  them  provided  for  with 
one  to  inftruft  them,  and  take  care  of  their  fouls  ; 
his  own  brother,  whom  he  could  confide  in  :  He 
faw  a  good  foundation  laid  for  the  fupport  of 
the  fthool  among  them  ;  thofe  things  that  before 
were  wanting  in  order  to  it,  being  lupplied  :  And 
he  had  the  profpedl  of  a  charitable  fociety  being  cf- 
tabliflied,  of  able  and  well  difpofed  perfons,  who 
ieem  to  make  the  fpiritual  interefl:  of  his  congrega- 
tion their  own  i  whereby  he  had  a  comfortable  view 
of  their  being  well  provided  for,  for  the  future  :  And 
he  had  alfo  opportunity  toleave  all  his  dying  charges 
with  his  fuccelfor  in  the  paftoral  care  of  his  people, 
and  by  him  to  fend  his  dying  counfels  to  them, 
Thus  God  granted  him  to  fee  all  things  happilv 
fettled,  or  in  a  hopeful  way  of  being  fo,  before  his 
death,  with  refpeift  to  his  dear  people.  And  where- 
as not  only  his  own  congregation,  but  the  fouls 
*m  the  Indians  in  North-America  in  general,  were 
very  dear  to  him,  and  he  had  greatly  fet  his  heart  on 
X  4  the 


M 


544       Reflections  tf;7^0BSERvATiONs 

the  propagating  and  extending  the  kingdom  of 
Chrill:  among  them  j  God  was  pleafed  to  grant  to 
him,  however  it  was  his  will  that  he  fliouldbe  tak- 
en away,  and  fo  fliould  not  be  the  immediate  inftru- 
ment  of  their  inftrudlion  and  converfion,  yet  that 
before  his  death,  he  fhould  fee  unexpected  extraor- 
dinary provifion  made  for  this  alio.  And  it  is  re- 
markable, that  God  not  only  allowed  him  to  fee  fuch 
provifion  made  for  the  maintaining  the  intereft  of 
religion  among  his  own  people,  and  the  propagation 
of  it  elfewhere  ;  but  honoured  him  by  making  him 
the  means  or  occafion  of  it.  So  that  it  is  very  prob- 
able, however  Mr.  Brainerd,  during  the  laft  four 
months  of  his  life,  was  ordinarily  in  an  extremely 
weak  and  low  ftate,  very  often  fcarcely  able  to  fpeak ; 
yet  that  he  was  made  the  inftrument  or  means  of 
much  more  good  in  that  fpace  of  time,  than  he 
would  have  been  if  he  had  been  well,  and  in  full 
ftrength  of  body.  Thus  God's  power  was  manifeft- 
ed  in  his  weaknefs,  and  the  life  of  Chrift  was  mani- 
fefted  in  his  mortal  flefh. 

Another  thing  wherein  appears  the  mercifiitdif- 
pofal  of  Providence  with  refpc(5l  to  his  death,  was, 
that  he  did  not  die  in  the  wildernefs,  among  the  fav- 
ages,  at  Kaunaumeek,  or  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  or 
at  Sufquehannah  ;  but  in  a  place  where  his  dying  be- 
haviour and  I'peeches  might  be  obferved  and  remem- 
bered, and  fbme  account  given  of  them  for  the  ben- 
efit of  furvivors  ;  and  alfo  where  care  might  be  tak- 
en of  him  in  his  ficknefs,  and  proper  honours  done 
him  at  his  death. 

The  providence  of  God  is  alfo  worthy  of  remark, 
in  fo  overruling  and  ordering  the  matter,  that  he  did 
not  finally  leave  abfolute  orders  for  the  entire  fup- 
prefliing  of  his  private  papers  j  as  he  had  intended 
and  fully  refolved,  infomuch  that  all  the  importunT^ 
ty  of  his  friends  could  fcarce  reftrain  him  from  do^ 


On  the  preceding  Memoirs.  34^ 

ing  it,  when  fick  at  Bofton.  And  one  thing  relat- 
ing to  this  is  peculiarly  remarkable,  viz.  that  his 
brother,  a  httle  before  his  death,  fliould  come  from 
the  Jerfeys  unexped:ed,  and  bring  his  Diary  to  him, 
though  he  had  received  no  fuch  order.  So  that  he 
had  opportunity  of  accefs  to  thefe  his  referved  pa- 
pers, and  for  reviewing  the  fame;  without  which, 
it  appears,  he  would  at  laft  have  ordered  them  to  be 
wholly  fupprefled  :  But  after  this,  he  the  more  read- 
ily yielded  to  the  defires  of  his  friends,  and  was  wil- 
ling to  leave  them  in  their  hands,  to  be  difpofed  of 
as  they  thought  might  be  moft  for  God*s  glory  ;  By 
which  means,  he  being  dead^  yet  fpeakethy  in  thefe 
Memoirs  of  his  life,  taken  from  thofe  private  writ- 
ings :  Whereby  it  is  to  be  hoped  he  may  flill  be  as 
it  were  the  inftrument  of  much  promoting  the  inter- 
eft  of  religion  in  this  world  ;  the  advancement  of 
which  he  fo  much  defired,  and  hoped  would  be  ac- 
complilhed  after  his  death. 

If  thefe  circumftances  of  Mr.  Brainerd's  death  be 
duly-  confidered,  I  doubt  not  but  they  will  be  ac- 
knowledged as  a  notable  inftance  of  God*s  fatherly 
care,  and  covenant  faithfulnefs  towards  them  that 
are  devoted  to  him,  and  faithfully  ferve  him  while 
they  live ;  wherehy  he  never  fails  nor  forfakes  them, 
but  is  with  them  living  and  dying  ;  fo  that  whether 
they  live^  they  live. Jo  the  Lvrd  ;  or  whether  they  die^ 
they  die  to  the  Lord ;  and  both  in  life  and  death  they 
are  owned  and  taken  care  of  as  his.  Mr.  Brainerd 
himfelf,  as  was  before  obferved,  was  much  in  tak- 
ing notice,  when  near  his  end,  of  the  merciful  cir- 
cumftances of  his  death  j  and  fiiid,  from  time  to 
time,  that  God  had  granted  him  all  his  defire. 

And  I  would  not  conclude  my  obfervations  on  the 
merciful  circumftances  of  Mr. Brainerd's  death,  with- 
out acknowledging  with  thankfulnefs,  the  gracious 
difpenfation  of  Providence  to  mc  and  my  family,  ia 

fo 


s 


546        Reflections  ^;7^ Observations. 

fo  ordering,  that  he  (though  the  ordinary  place  of 
his  abode  was  more  than  two  hundred  miles  diftant) 
Ihould  be  call  hither,  to  my  houfe,  in  his  laft  fick- 
nefs,  and  fliould  die  here  :  So  that  we  had  oppor- 
tunity for  much  acquaintance  and  converfation  with 
him,  and  to  fhew  him  kindnefs  in  fuch  circum- 
flances,  and  to  fee  his  dying  behaviour,  to  hear  his 
dying  fpeeches,  to  receive  his  dying  counfels,  and 
to  have  the  benefit  of  his  dying  prayers.  May  God 
in  infinite  mercy  grant  that  we  may  ever  retain  a 
proper  remembrance  of  thefe  things,  and  make  a 
due  improvement  of  the  advantages  we  have  had  in 
thefe  refpedrs  !  The  Lord  grant  alfo,  that  the  fore- 
going account  of  Mr.  Brainerd*s  life  and  death  may 
be  for  the  great  fpiritual  benefit  of  all  that  Ihall  read 
it,  and  prove  a  happy  means  of  promoting  the  re- 
vival of  true  religion  in  thefe  parts  of  the  world. 


AMEN. 


M'i:&. 


Mirabilia  Dei  inter  Indicos^ 

OR         THE 

RISE    AND    PROGRESS 


OF       A       REMARKABLS 


WORK    OF     GRACE 

AMONG       A       NUMftSR       OF       THE 

INDIANS, 

In  the  Provinces  of  NEW,JERSEY  and  PENNSYLVANIA, 
JUSTIFY    REPRESENTED    IN     A 

JOURNAL 

KEPT    BY    ORDIR.    OF    THE    HONOURABLE    SOCIETY,  IN  SCOTLAND,   FOR  VRO?^- 

CATiNC   CHRISTIAN  KNOWLEDGE. 

With  some  general  REMARKS. 
By    DAVID     BRAINERD, 

MINISTER  OF  THE  GOSPEL,  and  MISSIONARY  from  the  said  SOCIETY. 
■   "» >i  jf  ^^f<Sr'^^><§HiO^*-*<^=^ 

Published,  at  the  first,  by  the  reverend  and  worthy  CORRESPOND- 
ENTS of  the  said  SOCIETY. 

Now  republished,  with  some  Diminution  where  the  Matter  was  less 
interesting,  by  the  editor. 


Inftead  of  the  thorn,  fhall  come  up  the  fir  tree  ;  and  inftead  of  the  brier,  fliall  come 

up  the  myrtle  tree  :  And  it  (hall  be  to  the   Lord   for  a  name,   for  an  eveilafting 

fign  that  (Tiall  not  be  cut  off.     Ifaiak  Iv.  13, 
1  am   fought  of  them  that  afked  not  for  me  :    1  am  found  of  them  that  fought  me 

not  :    I  faid,   Behold  me,  behold  me,  to  a  nation  that  was  not  called  by  my 

name.     Ifaiak  Ixv.  i . 
All  thy  works  fhall  praife  thee,  O  Lord,  and  thy  faints  (ball  blefs  thee  ;    they  (ball 

fpeak.  of  the  glory  of  thy  kingdom,  and  talk  of  thy  power.     PfulmcKlv.  jo,  n. 


PRINTED    AT     WORCESTER,    MASSACHUSETTS, 

By     LEONARD      WORCESTER. 

MDCCXCIII, 


i 


THE 


RISE  AND  PROGRESS,  &c. 


«»>ft»»5!^fSg'^fi«««« 


Crosweeksung,  />z New-Jerfey,  'Jtme  19,  I745« 

HAVING  fpent  moft  of  my  time  for  more  than 
a  year  paft,  amongft  the  Indians  in  the  Forks 
of  Delaware  in  Pennfylvania  ;  and  having  in  that 
time  made  two  journeys  to  Sufquehannah  river, 
far  back  in  that  province,  in  order  to  treat  with  the 
Indians  there,  refpecfting  chriftianity  ^  and  not 
having  had  any  confiderable  appearance  of  fpecial 
fuccefs  in  either  of  thofe  places,  which  damped  my 
fpirits,  and  was  not  a  httle  difcouraging  to  me  ;  up- 
on hearing  that  there  was  a  number  of  Indians  in 
and  about  a  place  called  (by  the  Indians)  Crofweek- 
fung,  in  New-Jerfey,  near  fourfcore  miles  foutheaft- 
ward  from  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  I  determined  to 
make  them  a  vifit,  and  fee  what  might  be  done  to- 
wards the  chriftianizing  of  them ;  and  accordingly  ar- 
rived among  them  this  day. 

I  found  very  few  perfons  at  the  place  I  vifited, 
and  perceived  the  Indians  in  thefe  parts  were  very 
much  fcattered,  there  being  not  more  than  tvvo  or 
three  families  in  a  place,  and  thefc  fmall  fettlements 
fix,  ten,  fifteen,  twenty  and  thirty  miles,  and  fome 
more,  from  the  place  I  was  then  at :  However,  I 
preached  to  thoCe  few  I  found,  whqp  appeared  well 

difpofed 


4       DIVINEGRACE  displayed 

difpofed,  and  not  inclined  to  objedl  and  cavil,  as 
the  Indians  had  frequently  done  otherwhere. 

When  I  had  concluded  my  difcourfe,  I  informed 
fhem  (there  being  none  but  a  few  women  and 
children)  that  I  would  willingly  vifit  them  again 
the  next  day.  Whereupon  they  readily  fet  out  and 
travelled  ten  or  fifteen  miles,  in  order  to  give  notice 
to  fome  of  their  friends  at  that  diftance.  Thefe 
women,  like  the  woman  of  Samaria,  feemed  defir- 
ous  that  others  mighty^f  the  fnan  that  told  them  what 
they  had  done  in  their  lives  paft,  and  the  mifery  that 
attended  their  idolatrous  ways. 

^une  20. — Vifited  and  preached  to  the  Indians 
again  as  I  propofed.  Numbers  more  were  gather- 
ed at  the  invitations  of  their  friends,  who  heard  me 
the  day  before,  Thefe  alfo  appeared  as  attentive, 
orderly  and  well  difpofed  as  the  others.  And  none 
made  any  obje(5tion,  as  Indians  in  other  places  have 
ufually  done. 

^une  22. — Preached  to  the  Indians  again.  Their 
number,  which  at  firft  confifted  of  about  feven  or 
eight  perfons,  was  now  increafed  to  near  thirty. 

There  was  hot  only  a  folemn  attention  among 
them,  but  fome  confiderable  impreflions  (it  was 
apparent)  were  made  upon  their  minds  by  divine 
truths.  Some  began  to  feel  their  mifery  and  per- 
ifhing  flate,  and  appeared  concerned  for  a  deliver- 
ance from  it. 

Lord*s  Day^  'June  23. — Preached  to  the  Indians, 
and  fpent  the  day  with  them.  Their  number  ftill 
increafed  ;  and  all,  with  one  confent,  feemed  to  re- 
joice in  my  coming  among  them.  Not  a  word  of 
oppofition  was  heard  from  any  of  them  againft 
chriftianity,  although  in  times  paft,  they  had  been 
as  oppofite  to  any  thing  of  that  nature,  as  any  In- 
dians whatfoever.  And  fome  of  them,  not  many 
months  before,  were  enraged  with  my  interprete 
^  becaufe 


Among   the  INDIANS.  / 

becaufe  he  attempted  to  teach  them  fomething  of 
chriftianity. 

'June  24. — Preached  to  the  Indians  at  their  defire, 
and  upon  their  own  motion.  To  fee  poor  pagans 
defirous  of  hearing  the  gofpel  of  Chrift,  animated 
me  to  difcourfe  to  them,  although  I  was  now  very- 
weakly,  and  my  fpirits  much  exhaufted.  They  at- 
tended with  the  greateft  ferioufnefs  and  dihgence  ^ 
and  there  was  fome  concern  for  their  fouls'  falvation, 
apparent  among  them. 

June  27. — Vifited  and  preached  to  the  Indians 
again.  Their  number  now  amounted  to  about  forty 
perfons.  Their  folemnity  and  attention  ftill  contin- 
ued ;  and  a  conliderable  concern  for  their  fouls  be- 
came very  apparent  among  fundry  of  them. 

June  2^. — The  Indians  being  now  gathered  a  con- 
fiderable  number  of  them,  from  their  feveral  and 
diftant  habitations,  requefted  me  to  preach  twice  a 
day  to  them,  being  defirous  to  hear  as  much  as  they 
poflibly  could  while  I  was  with  them.  I  cheerful- 
ly complied  with  their  motion,  and  could  not  but 
admire  the  goodnefs  of  God,  who,  I  was  perfuaded, 
had  inclined  them  thus  to  inquire  after  the  way  of 
falvation. 

June  29. — Preached  again  twice  to  the  Indians. 
Saw,  as  I  thought,  the  hand  of  God  very  evidently, 
and  in  a  manner  fomewhat  remarkable,  making  pro- 
vifion  for  their  fubfiftence  together,  in  order  to  their 
being  inftrucfted  in  divine  things.  For  this  day  and 
the  day  before,  with  only  walking  a  little  way  from 
the  place  of  our  daily  meeting,  they  killed  three  deer, 
which  were  a  feafonable  fupply  for  their  wants,  and 
without  which,  it  feems,  they  could  not  have  fub-* 
fifted  together  in  order  to  attend  the  means  of  grace. 

Lord's  Day,  June  30. — Preached  twice  this  day 
alfo.  Obferved  yet  more  concern  and  affection 
among  the  poor  heathens  than  ever  ;  So  that  they 

even 


6       DIVINEGRACE   displayed 

even  conftrained  me  to  tarry  yet  longer  with  them  ; 
although  my  conftitiition  was  exceedingly  worn  out, 
and  my  health  much  impaired  hy  my  late  fatigues 
and  labours,  and  efpecially  by  my  late  journey  to 
Sufquehannah  in  May  laft,  in  which  I  lodged  on 
the  ground  for  feveral  weeks  together. 

'July  I. — Preached  aga,in,  twice,  to  a  very  ferious 
and  attentive  aflembly  of  Indians,  they  having  now 
learned  to  attend  the  worfhip  of  God,  with  chriftian 
decency  in  all  refpefts. 

There  were  now  between  forty  and  fifty  perfons 
of  them  prefent,  old  and  young. 

I  fpent  fome  confiderable  time  in  difcourfing 
with  them  in  a  more  private  way,  inquiring  of  them 
■what  they  remembered  of  the  great  truths  that  had 
been  taught  them  from  day  to  day  ;  and  may  juft- 
ly  fay  it  was  amazing  to  fee  how  they  had  received 
and  retained  the  inlT:ru(5lions  given  them,  and  what 
a  meafure  of  knowledge  fome  of  them  had  acquired 
in  a  few  days. 

July  2. — Was  obliged  to  leave  thefe  Indians  at 
Crofweekfung,  thinking  it  my  duty,  as  foon  as 
health  would  admit,  again  to  vifit  thofe  at  the  Forks 
of  Delaware.  When  I  came  to  take  leave  of  them, 
and  fpokc  fomething  particularly  to  each  of  them, 
they  all  earneftly  inquired  when  I  would  come  again, 
and  expreffed  a  great  defire  of  being  further  inftrudt- 
ed.  And  of  their  own  accord  agreed,  that  when  I 
Ihould  come  again,  they  would  all  meet  and  live 
together  during  my  continuance  with  them.  And 
that  they  would  do  their  utmoft  endeavours  to  gath- 
er all  the  other  Indians  in  thefe  parts  tliat  were  yet 
further  remote.  And  when  I  parted,  one  told  me 
with  many  tears,  llie  wi(hed  God  would  change 
her  heart  !  Another  that  (lie  wanted  to  find  Chrift  I 
And  an  old  man  that  had  been  one  of  their  chiefs, 
wept  bitterly  with  concern  for  his  foul.     I  then 

promifed 


Among   the  INDIANS.  7 

promifed  them  to  return  as  fpeedily  as  my  health 
and  bufinels  elfewhere  would  admit,  and  felt  not  a 
little  concerned  at  parting,  left  the  good  impreffions 
then  apparent  upon  numbers  of  them,  might  decline 
and  wear  off,  when  the  means  came  to  ceafe  ;  and 
yet  could  not  but  hope  that  he  who,  I  trufted,  had 
begun  a  good  work  among  them,  and  who  I  knew 
did  not  ftand  in  need  of  means  to  carry  it  on,  would 
maintain  and  promote  it  in  the  abfence  of  them  ;  al- 
though at  the  fame  time  I  muft  confefs,  that  I  had 
To  often  feen  fuch  encouraging  appearances  among 
the  Indians  otherwhere  prove  wholly  abortive,  and 
it  appeared  the  favour  would  be  fo  great,  if  God 
fhould  now,  after  I  had  palTed  through  fo  confid- 
erable  a  feries  of  almoft  fruitlefs  labours  and  fatigues, 
and  after  myrifing  hopes  had  been  fo  often  fruftrat- 
ed  among  thefe  poor  pagans,  give  me  any  fpecial 
fuccefs  in  my  labours  with  them,  that  I  could  not 
believe,  and  fcarce  dared  to  hope  that  the  event 
would  be  fo  happy,  and  fcarce  ever  found  myfelf 
more  fufpended  between  hope  and  fear,  in  any  affair, 
or  at  any  time,  than  this. 

This  encouraging  difpofition  and  readinefs  to 
i'eceive  inftrucSion,  now  apparent  among  thefe  In- 
dians, feems  tohave  been  the  happy  effed:  of  the  con- 
viction that  one  or  two  of  them  met  with  fome  time 
fince  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  who  have  lince  en- 
deavoured to  fhew  their  friends  the  evil  of  idolatry, 
&c.  And  although  the  other  Indians  feemed  btit 
little  to  regard,  but  rather  to  deride  them,  yet  this, 
perhaps  has  put  them  into  a  thinking  pofture  of 
mind,  or  at  leafl,  given  them  fome  thoughts  aboiit 
chriflianity,  and  excited  in  fome  of  them  a  curiofiiy 
to  hear,  ant!  fo  made  way  for  the  prefent  encourag- 
ing attention.  An  appreheniion  that  this  might  be 
the  cafe  here,  has  given  me  encouragement  that  'God 
may  in  fuch  a  manner  blefs  the  means  I  have  ufed 

Y  with 


8       DIVINEGRACE   displayed 

with  Indians  in  other  places,  where  there  is  as  yer 
no  appearance  of  it.  If  fo,  may  his  name  have  the 
glory  of  it  ;  for  I  have  learned  by  experience  that 
he  only  can  open  the  ear,  engage  the  attention,  and 
incline  the  heart  of  poor  benighted  prejudiced  pa- 
gans to  recieve  inftriidtion. 

Forks  of  Delww are,  in  Pennfylvania,  1745. 

Lord's  Day,  ^july  14. — Difcourfed  to  the  Indians 
twice,  feveral  of  whom  appeared  concerned,  and 
were,  I  have  reafon  to  think,  in  fome  meafure  con- 
vinced by  the  Divine  Spirit,  of  their  fin  and  mifery: 
So  that  they  wept  much  the  whole  time  of  divine 
fervice. 

Afterwards  difcourfed  to  a  number  of  white  peo- 
ple then  prefent. 

^uly  18. — Preached  to  my  people,  who  attended 
diligently,  beyond  what  had  been  common  among 
ihefe  Indians ;  And  fome  of  them  appeared  con- 
cerned for  their  fouls. 

Lord's  Day,  'July  21. — Preached  to  the  In- 
dians firft,  then  to  a  number  of  white  people  preC 
ent,  and  in  the  afternoon  to  the  Indians  again.-  Di- 
vine truths  feemed  to  make  very  confiderable  im- 
preflions  upon  feveral  of  them,  and  caufed  the  tears 
to  flow  freely. 

Afterwards  I  baptized  my  interpreter  and  his 
wife,who  were  the  firft  I  baptized  among  the  Indians. 

They  are  both  perfons  of  fome  experimental 
knowledge  in  religion;  have  both  been  awakened  to 
a  folemn  concern  for  their  fouls ;  have,  to  appearance, 
been  brought  to  a  fenfc  of  their  mifery  and  undone- 
nefs  in  themfelves  ;  have  both  appeared  to  be  com- 
forted with  divine  confokitions  ;  and  it  is  apparent 
both  have  pafTed  a  great,  and  I  cannot  but  hope  a 
faving  change. 

'ijuly 


Among  the  INDIANS.  9 

'^uly  23. — Preached  to  the  Indians,  but  had  few 
hearers  :  Thofe  who  are  conftantly  at  home  feerti 
of  late  to  be  under  fome  ferious  impreflions  of  a  re- 
ligious nature. 

"July  26. — Preached  to  my  people,  and,  after- 
wards, baptized  my  interpreter's  children. 

Lord's  Day,  Ju/y  28. — Preached  agairi,  and  per- 
ceived my  people,  at  leafl:  fome  of  them,  more 
thoughtful  than  ever  about  their  fouls'  concerns.  I 
was  told  by  fome,  that  feeing  my  interpreter  and 
•others  baptized  made  them  more  concerned  than 
any  thing  they  had  ever  feen  or  heard  before.  There 
was  indeed  a  confiderable  appearance  of  divine  pow- 
er amongll:  them  at  the  time  that  ordinance  was  ad- 
miniftered.  May  that  divine  influence  fpread  and 
increafe  more  abundantly. 

Ju/y  30. — Difcourfed  to  a  number  of  rny  people^ 
and  gave  them  fome  particular  advice  and  diredtion, 
being  now  about  to  leave  them  for  the  prefent,  iri 
order  to  renew  my  vifit  to  the  Indians  in  New-Jer- 
fey.  They  were  very  attentive  to  my  dilcourfe', 
and  earneflly  defirous  to  know  when  I  defigned  to 
return  to  them  again, 

CrosweeksunG|»/;z  New-jerfey,  1745. 

Aiigujl  3. — Having  vifited  the  Indians  in  thefeJ 
parts  in  June  laft,  and  tarried  with  them  fome  con- 
fiderable time,  preaching  almoft  daily  ;  at  which 
feafon  God  Vv'as  pleafed  to  pour  upon  them  a  fpirit 
of  awakening  and  concern  for  their  fouls,  and  fur- 
prifingly  to  engage  their  attention  to  divine  truths. 
I  now  found  them  fcdous,  and  a  number  of  them 
under  deep  concern  for  an  intereft  in  Chrift  :  Their 
convi(5lions  of  their  finful  and  perifliing  ftate  having, 
in  my  abfence  from  them,  been  much  promoted  by 
the  labours  and  endeavours  of  the  Rev,  Mr,  Willi* 

y  %  am 


10      DIVINEGRACE  displayed 

am  Tennent,  to  whom  I  had  advifcd  them  to  apply 
for  dire(ftion,  and  whofe  houfe  they  frequented 
much  while  1  was  gone.  I  preached  to  them  this 
day  with  fome  view  to  Rev.  xxii.  17.  And  wbofo- 
ever  willy  let  him  take  the  water  of  life  freely  : 
Though  I  could  not  pretend  to  handle  the  fubje(5t 
methodically  among  them. 

The  Lord, I  am  perfuaded,  enabled  me,  in  a  manner 
fomewhat  uncommon,  to  fet  before  them  the  Lord 
Jefus  Chrift  as  a  kind  and  companionate  Saviour, 
inviting  diftreffed  and  perifliing  finners  to  accept 
everlafting  mercy.  And  a  furprifing  concern  foon 
became  apparant  among  them.  There  were  about 
twenty  adult  perfons  together,  (many  of  the  Indi- 
ans at  remote  places  not  having  as  yet  had  time  to 
come  fince  my  return  hither)  and  not  above  two  that 
I  could  fee  with  dry  eyes. 

Lord*s  Dayy  Augufi  4. — Being  invited  by  a  neigh- 
bouring minifterto  ailiftin  the  adminiftration  of  the 
Lord's  fupper,  I  complied  with  his  requeft,  and 
took  the  Indians  along  with  me,  not  only  thofe 
that  were  together  the  day  before,  but  many  more 
that  were  coming  to  hear  me,  fo  that  there  were  near 
fifty  in  all,  old  and  young. 

They  attended  the  fever^l  difcourfes  of  the  day, 
and  fome  of  them  that  could  underftand  Englilh, 
were  much  affefted,  and  all  feemed  to  have  their 
concern  in  fome  meafure  raifed. 

Now  a  change  in  their  manners  began  to  appear 
very  vifible.  In  the  evening  when  they  came  to 
fup  together,  they  would  not  tafte  a  morfel  un- 
til they  had  fent  to  me  to  come  and  afk  a  blelf- 
ing  on  their  food,  at  which  time  fundry  of 
them  wept,  efpecially  when  I  minded  them  how 
they  had  in  times  paft  eat  their  feafts  in  hon- 
our to  devils,  and  negleded  to  thank  God  for 
them. 

Augufl 


Among  the  INDIANS.  n 

Augufl  5.— After  a  fermon  had  been  preached  by 
another  minifter,  I  preached,  and  concluded  the 
pubhck  work  of  the  folemnity  from  John  yii.  37. 
And  in  my  difcourfe  addreffed  the  Indians  in  par- 
ticular, who  fat  by  themfelves  in  apart  of  the  houfej 
at  which  time  one  or  two  of  them  were  ftruck  with 
deep  concern,  as  they  afterwards  told  me,  who  had 
been  little  affeded  before  :  Others  had  their  con- 
cern increafed  to  a  confiderable  degree.  In  the 
evening  (the  greater  part  of  them  being  at  the  houfe 
where  I  lodged)  I  difcourfed  to  them,  and  found 
them  univerfally  engaged  about  their  fouls*  concern,) 
inquiring  zc'to  they  jhould  do  to  be  faved  I  And  all 
their  converfation  'among  themfelves  turned  upon 
religious  matters,  in  which  they  were  much  affifted 
by  my  interpreter,  who  was  with  them  day  and 
night.  ii 

This  day,  there  was  one  woman,  that  had  been 
much  concerned  for  her  foul,  ever  fince  Ihe  firfl 
heard  me  preach  in  June  laft,  who  obtained  comfort, 
I  rruft,  folid  and  well  grounded  :  She  feemcd  to  be 
filled  with  love  to  Chriil,  at  the  fame  time  behaved 
humbly  and  tenderly,  and  appeared  afraid  of  noth- 
ing fo  much  as  of  grieving  and  offending  himv 
whom  her  foul  loved.  ■' 

Augufl  6. — In  the  morning  I  difcourfed  to  the  In- 
dians at  the  houfe  where  we  lodged  :  Many  of  them 
were  then  much  affedled,  and  appeared  furprifing- 
ly  tender,  io  that  a  few  words  about  their  fouls*  con- 
cerns would  caule  the  tears  to  flow  freely,  and  pro- 
duce many  fobs  and  groans. 

In  the  afternoon,  they  being  returned  to  the  place 
where  I  have  ufually  preached  amongft  them,  I 
again  difcourfed  to  them  there.  There  were  about 
fifty  five  perfons  in  all,  about  forty  that  were  capa- 
ble of  attending  divine  fervice  with  underftanding  ; 
1  infifled  upon  i  John  iv.  10.  Herein  is  love,  &c. 

Y  3  They 


u      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

They  feemed  eager  of  hearing  ;  but  there  appeared 
nothing  very  remarkable,  except  their  attention,  until 
near  the  clofe  of  my  difcourfe,  and  then  divine  truths 
were  attended  with  a  furprifing  influence,  and  pro- 
duced a  great  concern  among  them.  There  was 
fcarce  three  in  forty  that  could  refrain  from  tears 
and  bitter  cries.  They  all,  as  one,  feemed  in  an  ago- 
ny of  foul  to  obtain  an  intercft  in  Chrifl ;  and  the 
more  I  difcourfcd  of  the  love  and  compaflion  of  God 
in  fending  his  Son  to  fuffer  for  the  fins  of  men  ;  and 
the  more  I  invited  them  to  come  and  partake  of  his 
love,  the  more  their  diftrefs  was  aggravated,  becaufe 
they  felt  themfelves  unable  to  come. 

It  was  furprifing  to  fee  how  their  hearts  feemed 
to  be  pierced  with  the  tender  and  melting  invitations 
of  the  gofpel,  when  there  was  not  a  word  of  terror 
fpoken  to  them. 

There  were  this  day  two  perfons  that  obtained 
relief  and  comfort,  which  (when  I  came  to  dif- 
courfe with  them  particularly)  appeared  folid,  ra- 
tional and  fcriptural.  After  I  had  inquired  into  the 
grounds  of  their  comfort,  and  faid  many  things  I 
thought  proper  to  them,  I  aiked  them  what  they 
wanted  God  to  do  further  for  them.  They  replied, 
they  wanted  Chrifl:  fliould  wipe  their  hearts  quite 
clean,  &c. 

Surprifing  were  now  the  doings  of  the  Lord,  that 
I  can  fay  no  lefs  of  this  day,  and  I  need  fay  no  more 
of  it,  than  that  the  arm  of  the  Lord  was  powerfully 
and  marvellouily  revealed  in  it. 

Augujl  8. — In  the  afternoon  I  preached  to  the  In- 
dians ;  their  number  was  now  about  fixty  five  per- 
fons, men,  women,  and  children  :  I  difcourfcd  from 
Luke  xiv.  i6. — 23.  and  was  favoured  with  uncom- 
mon freedom  in  my  difcourfe. 

There  was  much  vifible  concern  among  them 
while  I  was  difcourfing  publickly  ;  but  afterwards 

when 


Among  the   INDIANS.  13 

when  I  fpoke  to  one  and  another  more  particularly, 
whom  I  percieved  under  much  concern,  the  power 
of  God  feemed  to  defcend  upon  the  aflembly  like  a 
rufhing  mighty  wind,  and  with  an  aftonilhing  ener- 
gy bore  down  all  before  it. 

I  flood  amazed  at  the  influence  that  feized  the 
audience  almoft  univerfally,  and  could  compare  it 
to  nothing  more  aptly,  than  the  irrefiftible  force  of 
a  mighty  torrent,  or  fwelling  deluge,  that  with  its 
infupportable  weight  and  preffure,  bears  down  and 
fweeps  before  it  whatever  is  in  its  way  !  Almoft  ail 
perfons  of  all  ages  were  bowed  down  with  concern  to- 
crether.and  fcarce  one  was  able  to  withftand  the  fliock 

to  '  ^   ^ 

of  this  furpriling  operation  !  Old  men  and  women, 
who  had  been  drunken  wretches  for  many  years,  and 
fome  little  children,  not  more  than  fix  or  feven  years 
of  age,  appeared  in  diftrefs  for  their  fouls,  as  well 
as  perfons  of  middle  age.  And  it  was  apparent 
thefe  children  (fome  of  them  at  leaft)  were  not 
merely  frighted  with  feeing  the  general  con- 
cern ;  but  were  made  fenfible  of  their  danger,  the 
badnefs  of  their  hearts,  and  their  mifcry  without 
Chrift,  as  fome  of  them  exprefled  it.  The  moil 
ftabborn  hearts  were  now  obliged  to  bow.  A  prin- 
cipal man  among  the  Indians,  who  before  was  moft 
fecure  and  felf  righteous,  and  thought  his  ftatc  good 
becaufe  he  knew  more  than  the  generalit}'-  of  the  In- 
dians had  formerly  done, and  who  with  a  great  degree 
of  confidence  the  day  before,  told  miC,  he  had  been  a 
chriilian  more  then  ten  years,  was  now  brought  un- 
der folemn  concern  for  his  foul,  and  wept  bitterly. 
Another  man  confidcrablc  in  years,  who  had  been  a 
u^ur^\cxe.r,  A  powjL'ow,  (or  cunjurer)  anJ  a  notori- 
ous drunkard,  was  likewiie  brought  now  to  cry  for 
mercy  with  many  tears,  and  to  complain  much  that 
he  could  be  no  more  concerned  when  he  fa\v  his 
danger  \o  very  great. 

Y  4  They 


14      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

They  were  almoft  univerfally  praying  and  crying 
for  naercy  in  every  part  of  the  houfe,  and  many  out 
of  doors,  and  numbers  could  neither  go  nor  ftand  : 
Their  concern  was  fo  great,  each  one  for  himfelf,  that 
none  feemed  to  take  any  notice  of  thofe  about  them, 
but  each  prayed  as  freely  for  themfelves,  and  (I  am 
apt  to  think)  were,  to  their  own  appreheniion,  as 
much  retired  as  if  they  had  been  every  one  by  them- 
felves in  the  thickeft  defert  :  Or,  1  believe  rather 
that  they  thought  nothing  about  any  but  themfelves, 
and  their  own  llates,  and  fo  were  every  one  praying 
apart,  although  all  together. 

It  feemed  to  me  there  was  now  an  exa6l  fulfilment 
of  that  prophefy,  Zech.  xii.  lO.  1 1 .  12.  for  there  was 
XiO^  a  great  mourning,  like  the  mourning  of  Hadadrim- 
mon.  And  each  feemed  to  mourn  apart.  Methought 
this  had  a  near  refemblance  to  the  day  of  God*s  pow- 
er, mentioned Jofh.  x.  14.  fori  muft  fay,  I  never faw 
any  day  like  it  in  all  refped:s  :  It  was  a  day  wherein, 
I  am  perfuaded,  the  Lord  did  much  to  deftroy  the 
kingdom  of  darknefs  among  this  people. 

This  concern  in  general  was  moft  rational  and  juft. 
Thofe  who  had  been  awakened  any  confiderabje  time, 
complained  more  efpecially  of  the  badnefs  of  their 
hearts  j  and  thofe  newly  awakened  of  the  badnefs 
of  their  lives  and  actions  paft  ;  and  all  were  afraid 
of  the  anger  of  God,  and  of  everlafting  mifery  as 
the  defert  of  their  fins. 

Some  of  the  white  people,  who  came  out  of  curi- 
oiity  to  hear  what  this  babbler  would  fay,  to  the  poor 
ignorant  Indians,  were  much  awakened,  and  lome 
appeared  to  be  wounded  with  a  view  of  their  per- 
ilhing  flate. 

Thofe  who  had  lately  obtained  relief,  were  filled 
with  comfort  at  this  feafon  ;  they  appeared  calm 
and  compofed,  and  feemed  to  rejoice  in  Chriif  Jeius  : 
And  fome  of  them  took  their  diftreifed  friends  by 

thQ 


Among  the  INDIANS.  15 

the  hand,  telling  them  of  the  goodnefs  of  Chrift,  and 
the  comfort  that  is  to  be  enjoyed  in  him,  and  thence 
invited  them  to  come  and  give  up  their  hearts  to  him. 
And  1  could  obferve  fome  of  them  in  the  moft  hon- 
eft  and  unaffected  manner  (without  any  defign  of 
being  taken  notice  of)  lifting  up  their  eyes  to  heaven 
as  if  crying  for  mercy,  while  they  faw  the  diftrefs 
of  the  poor  fouls  around  them. 

There  was  one  remarkable  infl:ance  of  awakening 
this  day,  that  I  cannot  but  take  particular  notice  of 
here.  A  young  Indian  woman,  who,  I  believe,  never 
knew  before  that  fhe  had  a  foul,  nor  ever  thought  of 
any  fuch  thing,  hearing  that  there  was  fomething 
flrange  among  the  Indians,  came,  it  feems,  to  fee 
what  was  the  matter :  She  in  her  way  to  the  Indians, 
called  at  my  lodgings,  and  when  I  told  her  I  defign- 
ed  prefently  to  preach  to  the  Indians,  laughed  and 
feemed  to  mock  ;  but  went  however  to  them.  I 
had  not  proceeded  far  in  my  publick  difcourfe  be- 
fore (lie  felt  effectually  that  Ihe  had  a  foul,  and  before 
I  had  concluded  my  dilcourfe,  was  fo  convinced  of 
her  fin  and  mifcry,  and  fo  diffreffed  with  concern 
for  her  foul's  falvation,  that  (he  feemed  like  one 
pierced  through  with  a  dart,  and  cried  out  inceffant- 
ly.  She  could  neither  go  nor  ftand,  nor  fit  on  her 
feat  without  being  held  up.  After  publick  fervice 
was  over,  ffie  lay  flat  on  the  ground,  praying  earneft- 
ly,  and  would  take  no  notice  ot,  nor  give  any  anfwer 
to  any  that  fpoke  to  her,  I  hearkened  to  hear  what 
fhe  faid,  and  perceived  the  burden  of  her  prayer  to 
be,  Giittummaukalummeh  wechaumeh kuieleb Ndahj i.e. 
Have  mercy  on  me,  and  help  me  to  give  you  my  heart. 
And  thus  Ihe  continued  praying  inceffantly  for  many 
hours  together. 

This  was  indeed  a  furprifing  day  of  God's 
power,  and  feemed  enough  to  convmce  an  atheifl  of 
the  truth,  importance  and  power  of  God's  word. 

Auguji 


i6      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

Augujl  9. — Spent  almoifl  the  whole  day  with  the 
Indians,  the  former  part  of  it  in  difcourfing  to  ma- 
ny of  them  privately,  and  efpecially  to  Ibme  who 
had  lately  received  comfort,  and  endeavouring  to 
inquire  into  the  grounds  of  it,  as  well  as  to  give  them 
fome  proper  inftru6lions,  cautions  and  directions. 

In  the  afternoon  difcourfed  to  them  pubHckly. 
There  were  now  prefent  about  feventy  pcrfons,  old 
and  young.  I  opened  and  applied  the  parable  of 
the  fower,  Matth.  xiii.  Was  enabled  to  difcourfe 
with  much  plainnefs,  and  found  afterwards  that  this 
difcourfe  was  very  inftrudlive  to  them.  There  were 
many  tears  among  them  while  I  was  difcourfing 
publickly,  but  no  confiderable  cry  :  Yet  fome  were 
much  aflFedled  with  a  few  words  fpoken  from 
Matth.  xi.  28.  with  which  I  concluded  my  difcourfe. 
But  while  I  was  difcourfing  near  night  to  two  or 
three  of  the  awakened  perfons,  a  divine  influence 
feemed  to  attend  what  was  fpoken  to  them  in  a  pow- 
erful manner,  which  caufed  the  perfons  to  cry  out 
in  anguifii  of  foul,  although  I  fpoke  not  a  word  of 
terror,  but  on  the  contrary,  fet  before  them  the  ful- 
nefs  and  allfufficiency  of  Chrifi*s  merits,  and  his 
wilhngnefs  to  fave  all  that  came  to  him  ;  and  there- 
upon preffed  them  to  come  without  delay. 

The  cry  of  thefe  was  foon  heard  by  others,  who, 
though fcattered before,  immediately  gathered  round. 
1  then  proceeded  in  the  fame  ftrain  of  gofpel  invita- 
tion, until  they  were  all  melted  into  tears  and  cries, 
except  two  or  three ;  and  feemed  in  the  greateft  dif- 
trefs  to  find  and  fecure  an  interefl:  in  the  great  Re- 
deemer. Some  who  had  but  Jittle  more  than  a  ruf- 
fle made  in  their  paflions  the  day  before,  feemed 
now  to  be  deeply  affected  and  wounded  at  heart  : 
And  the  concern  in  general  appeared  near  as  preva- 
lent as  it  was  the  day  before.  There  was  indeed  a 
very  great  mourning  among  them,  and  yet  every  one 

feemed 


Among   the  INDIANS.  17 

leemed  to  mourn  apart.  For  fo  great  was  their  con- 
cern, that  almoft  every  one  was  praying  and  crying 
for  himfelf,  as  if  none  had  been  near,  Guttununau- 
kalummehy  guttummaukalummeb  :  i.  e.  Have  mer^ 
cy  upon  me^  have  mercy  upon  ;;/<?,  was  the  common 
cry. 

It  was  very  afFe(5ling  to  fee  the  poor  Indians,  who 
the  other  day  were  hollowing  and  yelling  in  their 
idolatrous  feafts  and  drunken  frolicks,  now  crying 
to  God  with  fuch  importunity  for  an  intereft  in  his 
dear  Son. 

Lord's  Day,  Augujl  1 1 . — Difcourfed  in  the  fore- 
noon from  the  parable  of  the  prodigal  fon,  Lukexv. 
Obferved  no  fuch  remarkable  effect  of  the  word  up- 
on the  alfembly  as  in  days  paft.  There  were  num- 
bers of  carelefs  fpedtators  of  the  white  people  ;  fome 
Qijakers  and  others. 

in  the  afternoon  I  difcourfed  upon  a  part  of  St, 
Peter*s  fermon,  Ad:s  ii.  And  at  the  clofe  of  my 
difcourfe  to  the  Indians,  made  an  addrefs  to  the 
white  people,  and  divine  truths  fjemed  then  to  be 
attended  with  power  both  to  Englifh  and  Indians. 
Several  of  the  white  heathen  were  awakened,  and 
could  not  longer  be  idle  rpcd:ators,  but  found  they 
bad  fouls  to  fave  or  lofe  as  well  as  the  Indians,  and 
a  great  concern  fpread  through  the  whole  affembly, 
fo  that  this  alfo  appeared  to  be  a  day  of  God's  pow- 
er, efpecially  towards  the  conclufion  of  it,  as  well  as 
feveral  of  the  former,  although  the  influence  attend- 
ing the  word  feemjcd  fcarcc  fo  powerful  now,  as  in 
fome  days  paft. 

The  number  of  the  Indians,  old  and  young,  was 
now  upwards  of  feventy,  and  one  or  two  were  new- 
ly awakened  this  day,  who  never  had  appeared  to  be 
moved  with  concern  for  their  fouls  before, 

Thofe  that  had  obtained  relief  and  comfort,  and 
had  given  hopeful  evidences  of  havit^g  palTed  a  fav- 

ing 


i8      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

jng  change,  appeared  humble  and  devout,  and  be- 
haved in  an  agreeable  and  chriftian  manner.  1  was 
refreflied  to  fee  the  tendernefs  of  confcience  manifeft 
in  fome  of  them ;  one  inftance  of  which  I  cannot  but 
take  notice  of.  Perceiving  one  of  them  very  forrow- 
ful  in  the  morning,  I  inquired  into  the  caufe  of  her 
forrow,  and  found  the  difficuhy  was,  (he  had  been 
angry  with  her  child  the  evening  before,  and  was 
now  exercifed  with  fears,  left  her  anger  had  been  in- 
ordinate and  finful,  which  fo  grieved  her  that  flie 
waked  and  began  to  fob  before  daylight,  and  con- 
tinued weeping  for  feveral  hours  together. 

Auguji  14. — Spent  the  day  with  the  Indians. 
There  was  one  of  them  who  had  fome  time  fince 
put  away  his  wife,  as  is  common  among  them,  and 
taken  another  woman,  and  being  now  brought  un- 
der fome  ferious  impreffions,  was  much  concerned 
about  that  affair  in  particular,  and  feemed  fully  con- 
vinced of  the  wickednefs  of  that  practice,  and  earn- 
eftly  defirous  to  know  what  God  would  have  him 
do  in  his  prefent  circumftances.  When  the  law  of 
God  refpeding  marriage  had  been  opened  to  them, 
and  the  caufe  of  his  leaving  his  wife  inquired  into ; 
and  when  it  appeared  flie  had  given  him  no  juft  oc- 
cafion  by  unchaftity  to  defert  her,  and  that  fhe  vvas 
willing  to  forgive  his  paft  mifcondud:,  and  to  live 
peaceably  with  him  for  the  future,  and  that  fhe 
moreover  infifted  on  it  as  her  right  to  enjoy  him  ; 
he  was  then  told,  that  it  was  his  indifpenfable  duty 
to  renounce  the  woman  he  had  laft  taken,  and  re- 
ceive the  other  who  was  his  proper  wife,  and  Jive 
peaceably  with  her  during  life  ;  with  which  he  read- 
ily and  cheerfully  complied,  and  thereupon  publick- 
ly  renounced  the  woman  he  had  laft  taken,  and  pub- 
lickly  promifed  to  live  with  and  be  kind  to  his  wife 
during  life,  fhe  alfo  promifing  the  fame  to  him. 
And  here  appeared  a  clear  demonftration  of  the 

power 


Among  the  INDIANS.  19 

power  of  God's  word  upon  their  hearts.  I  fuppofe 
a  few  weeks  before  the  whole  world  could  not  have 
perfuaded  this  man  to  a  compliance  with  chriftian 
rules  in  this  affair. 

Augujl  16. — Spent  confidcrable  time  in  converfing 
privately  with  fundry  of  the  Indians.  Found  one 
that  had  got  relief  and  comfort,  after  preffing  con- 
cern, and  could  not  but  hope,  when  I  came  to  dif- 
courfe  particularly  with  her,  that  her  comfort  was  of 
the  right  kind. 

In  the  afternoon  preached  to  them  from  John  vi. 
26. — 34.  Toward  the  clofe  of  my  difcourfe,  divine 
truths  were  attended  with  confiderable  power  upon 
the  audience,  and  more  efpecially  after  publick  fer- 
vice  was  over,  when  I  particularly  addrefTed  fundry 
diftreifed  perfons. 

There  was  a  great  concern  for  their  fouls  fpread 
pretty  generally  among  them  :  But  efpecially  there 
were  two  perfons  newly  awakened  to  a  fenfe  of  their 
fin  and  mifery,  one  of  whom  was  lately  come,  and 
the  other  had  all  along  been  very  attentive,  and  de- 
firous  of  being  awakened,  but  could  never  before 
have  any  lively  view  of  her  perifhing  ftate.     But 
now  her  concern  and  fpiritual  diftrefs  was  fuch,  that 
I  thought,  I  had  never  feen  any  more  prefTmg.   Sun- 
dry old  men  were  alfo  in  diftrefs  for  their  fouls  ;  fo 
that  they  could  not  refrain  from  weeping  and  crying 
out  aloud,  and  their  bitter  groans  were  the  moft  con- 
vincing as  well  as  aflPedting  evidence  of  the  reality 
and  depth  of  their  inward  anguiOi.     God  is  pow- 
erfully at  work  among  them  !    True  and  genuine 
convidlions  of  fin  are  daily  promoted  in  many  in- 
flances,  and  fome  are  newly  awakened  from  time  to 
time  ;  although  fome  few,  who  felt  a  commotion  in 
their  paflions  in  days  pall,  feem  now  to  difcover  that 
their  hearts  were  never  duly  aflFe<5ted.     I  never  (aw 
the  work  of  God  appear  fo  independent  of  means  as? 

at 


20      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

at  this  time.  Idifcourfed  to  the  people, and  fpoke  what 
I  fuppofe  had  a  proper  tendency  to  promote  convic- 
tions, and  God*s  manner  of  working  upon  them  ap- 
peared foentirely  fupernatural,  and  above  means,  that 
Icouldfcarce  believe  he  ufedme  as  an  inftrument,  or 
what  I  fpake  as  means  of  carrying  on  his  work  : 
For  it  feemed,  as  I  thought,  to  have  no  connexion 
with,  or  dependence  upon  means  in  any  refpect. 
And  although  I  could  not  but  continue  to  ufe  the 
means  I  thought  proper  for  the  promotion  of  the 
work,  yet  God  feemed,  as  I  apprehended,  to  work 
entirely  without  them  :  So  that  I  feemed  to  do  noth^ 
ing,  and  indeed  to  have  nothing  to  do,  but  to  jland 
Jiilt  and  fee  the  falvation  of  God,  and  found  myfelf 
obliged  and  delighted  to  fay.  Not  unto  us,  not  unto 
inftrumcnts  and  means,  but  to  thy  name  be  glory. 
God  appeared  to  work  entirely  alone,  and  I  faw  no 
room  to  attribute  any  part  of  this  work  to  any  cre- 
ated arm. 

Lord*s  Dayy  Augufi  25. — Preached  in  the  fore- 
noon from  Luke  xv.  3. — 7.  There  being  a  multi- 
tude of  white  people  prefent,  I  made  an  addreis  to 
them  at  the  cloie  of  my  difcourfe  to  the  Indians  : 
But  could  not  fo  much  as  keep  them  orderly  ;  for 
icores  of  them  kept  walking  and  gazing  about,  and 
behaved  more  indecently  than  any  Indians  I  ever  ad- 
dreffed  ;  and  a  view  of  their  abufive  condudl  (o 
funk  my  fpirits,  that  I  could  fcarce  go  on  with  my 
work. 

In  the  afternoon  difcourfed  from  Rev.  iii.  20.  At 
which  time  the  Indians  behaved  ferioudy,  though 
many  others  were  vain. 

Afterwards  baptized  twenty  five  perfons  of  the 
Indians,  fifteen  adults  and  ten  children.  Moft  of 
the  adults  I  have  comfortable  rcafon  to  hope  are  re- 
newed perfons,  and  there  was  not  one  of  them  but 
what  I  entertained  fome  hopes  of  in  that  rcfpecft, 

though 


Among  the  INDIANS.  2: 

though  the  cafe  of  two  or  three  of  them  appeared 
more  doubtful. 

After  the  crowd  of  fpedators  was  gone,  I  called 
the  baptized  perfons   together,   and   diicourfed   to 
them  in  particular,  at  the  fame  time  inviting  others 
to  attend,  minded  them  of  the  folemn  obligations 
they  were  now  under  to  live  to  God,   warned  them 
of  the  evil  and  dreadful  confequences  of  carelefs  liv- 
ing, efpecially  after  this  publick  profeilion  of  chrif- 
tianity  ;  gave  them  diredlions  for  their  future  con- 
dud:,  and  encouraged  them  to  watchfulnefs  and  de- 
votion, by  fetting  before  them  the  comfort  and  hap- 
py conclufion  of  a  religious  life.     This  was  a  delir- 
able  and  fweet  feafon  indeed  !  Their  hearts  were  en- 
gaged and  cheerful  in  duty,  and  they  rejoiced  that 
they  had  in  a  publick  and  folemn  manner  dedicated 
themfclves  to  God.     Love  feemed  to  reign  among 
them  !  They  took  each  other  by  the  hand  with  ten- 
dernefs  and  affedion,  as  if  their  hearts  were  knit  to- 
gether, while  I  was  difcourfing  to  them  :  And  all 
their  deportment  toward  each  other  was  fuch,  tha? 
a  ferious  fpedator  might  juflly  be  excited  to  cry  out 
with  admiration,  Behold  bow  they  love  one  another  I 
Sundry  of  the  other  Indians  at  leeing  and  hearing 
thefe  things,  were  much  affected  and  wept  bitterly, 
longing  to  be  partakers  of  the  fame  joy  and  comfort 
that  thefe  difcovered  by  their  very  countenances  as 
well  as  conduct. 

Auguji  26. — Preached  to  my  people  from  John 
vi.  51. — 55.  After  I  had  difcourfed  ibme  time,  I 
addrefifed  thofe  in  particul'ar  who  entertained  hopes 
that  they  were  pajj'edfrom  death  to  life.  Opened  to 
them  the  perfevering  nature  of  tiioie  confolations 
Chrift  gives  his  people,  and  which  I  truiled  he  had 
bcflowed  upon  fome  in  that  allembly,  lliewed  them 
that  {uch  have  already  tlie  beginnings  of  eternal  life, 
vcrfe  54.  and  that  their  heaven  Ihail  fpecdily  be 
completed,  &c. 

I 


22      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

I  no  fooner  began  to  difcourfe  in  this  ftrain,  but 
the  dear  chriftians  in  the  congregation  began  to  be 
niehed  with  aflfedlion  to,  and  defirc  of  the  enjoyment 
ofChrift,  and  of  a  ftate  of  perfect  purity.  They 
wept  affectionately  and  yet  joyfully,  and  their  tears 
and  fobs  difcovered  brokennefs  of  heart,  and  yet 
were  attended  with  real  comfort  and  fweetnefs,  fo 
that  this  was  a  tender,  affectionate,  humble,  delight- 
ful melting,  and  appeared  to  be  the  genuine  effect 
of  a  fpirit  of  adoption,  and  very  far  from  that  fpirit 
of  bondage  that  they  not  long  fince  laboured  under. 
The  influence  feemed  to  fpread  from  thefe  through 
the  whole  affembly,  and  there  quickly  appeared  a 
wonderful  concern  among  them.-  Many  who  had 
not  yet  found  Chrift  as  an  allfufficient  Saviour,  were 
furprifingly  engaged  in  feeking  after  him.  It  was 
indeed  a  lovely  and  very  dcfirable  affembly.  Their 
number  was  now  about  ninety  five  perfons,  old  and 
young,  and  almofl  all  affected  either  with  joy  in 
Chrifl  Jefus,  or  with  utmofl  concern  to  obtain  an  in- 
tereft  in  him. 

Being  fully  convinced  it  was  now  my  duty  to  take 
a  journey  far  back  to  the  Indians  on  Sufquehannah 
river,  it  being  now  a  proper  feafon  of  the  year  to 
find  them  generally  at  home,  after  having  fpent 
fome  hours  in  publick  and  private  difcourfes  with 
my  people,  I  told  them  that  I  mufl  now  leave  them 
for  the  prefent,  and  go  to  their  brethren  far  remote 
and  preach  to  them  :  That  I  wanted  the  Spirit  of  God 
fliould  go  with  me,  without  whom  nothing  could  be 
done  to  any  good  purpdfe  among  the  Indians,  as 
they  themfelvcs  had  had  opportunity  to  fee  and  ob- 
ferve  by  the  barrennefs  of  our  meetings  at  fome 
times,  when  there  was  much  pains  taken  to  effedt 
and  awaken  linners,  and  yet  to  little  or  no  purpofe  : 
And  afked  them  if  they  could  not  be  willing  to  fpend 
the  remainder  of  the  day  in  prayer  for  me,  that  God 

would 


Among  the  INDIANS.  23 

would  go  with  me,  and  fucceed  my  endeavours,  for 
the  con  verlion  of  thofe  poor  fouls.  They  cheerfully 
complied  with  the  motion,  and  foon  after  I  left  them, 
the  fun  being  then  about  an  hour  and  half  high  at 
night,  they  began,  and  continued  praying  all  night, 
until  break  of  day,  or  very  near,  never  miftrufting, 
they  tell  me,  until  they  went  out  and  viewed  the  ftars, 
and  faw  the  morning  ftar  a  confiderable  height,  that 
it  was  later  than  common  bed  time.  Thus  eager 
and  unwearied  were  they  in  their  devotions  !  A  re- 
markable night  it  was,  attended,  as  my  interpreter 
tells  me,  with  a  powerful  influence  upon  thofe  who 
were  yet  under  concern,  as  well  as  thofe  that  had  re- 
ceived comfort. 

There  were,  I  truft,  this  day,  two  diftrefled  fouls 
brought  to  the  enjoyment  of  folid  comfort  in  him,  in 
whom  the  weary  find  reft. 

It  was  likewife  remarkable  that,  this  day,  an  old 
Indian,  who  has  all  his  days  been  an  obftinate  idol- 
ater, was  brought  to  give  up  his  rattles,  which  they 
ufe  for  mufick  in  their  idolatrous  feafts  and  dances, 
to  the  other  Indians,  who  quickly  deftroyed  them, 
and  this  vyithout  any  attempt  of  mine,  in  the  affair, 
I  having  faid  nothing  to  him  about  it ;  fo  that  it  feem- 
ed  it  was  nothing  but  juft  the  power  of  God*s  word, 
without  any  particular  application  to  this  fin,  that 
produced  this  effect.  Thus  God  has  begun,  thus  he 
has  hitherto  furprifingly  carried  on,  a  work  of  grace 
amongft  thefe  Indians.  May  the  glory  be  afcribed 
to  him,  who  is  the  fole  author  of  it. 

Forks  of  Delaware,  in  Pennfylvania,  1745* 

September  19. — Vifited  an  Indian  town  called  Ju- 

neauta,  fituate  on  an  ifland  in  Sufquehannah.     Was 

much  difcouraged  with  the  temper  and   behaviour 

of  the  Indians  here,  although  theyappeared  friendly 

Z  when 


24      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

when  I  was  with  them  the  laft  fpring,  and  then 
gave  me  encouragement  to  come  and  fee  them  again  : 
But  they  now  feemed  refolved  to  retail  their  pagan 
notions,  and  perfift  in  their  idolatrous  pradices. 

September  20. — Vifited  the  Indians   again  at  Ju- 
neauta  Ifland,    and  found  them  ah-noft  univerfal- 
ly  very    bufy  in  making   preparations  for  a  great 
facrifice  and  dance.     Had  no  opportunity  to   get 
them  together  in  order  to  difcourfe  with  them  about 
chriftianity,  by  reafon  of  their  being  fo  much  engag- 
ed about  their  facrifice.    My  fpirits  were  much  funk 
with  a  profped:  fo  very  difcouraging,  and  cfpecially 
feeing  I  had  now  no  interpreter  but  a  pagan,  who 
was  as  much  attached  to  idolatry  as  any  of  them, 
(my  own  interpreter  having  left  me  the  day  before, 
being  obliged  to  attend  upon  fome  important  bufi- 
nefs  otherwhere,  and  knowing  that  he  could  neither 
fpeak  nor  underftand  the  language  of  thefe  Indians) 
fo  that  I  was  under  the  greateft  difadvantages  imagin- 
able ;  however,  I  attempted  to  difcourfe  privately 
with  fome  of  them,  but  without  any  appearance  of 
fuccefs  :  Notwithfl-anding,  I  ftill  tarried  with  them. 
In  the  evening  they  met  together,  near  a  hundred 
of  them,  and  danced  round  a  large  fire,  having  pre- 
pared ten  fat  deer  for  the  facrifice  ;  the  fat  of  whofe 
inwards  they  burned  in  the  fire,  while  they   were 
dancing,  and  fometimes  raifed  the  flame  to  a  pro- 
digious height,  at  the  fame  time  yelling  and  fhout- 
ing  in  fuch  a  manner,  that  they  might  eafily  have 
been  heard  two  miles  or  more. 

They  continued  their  facred  dance  all  night,  or 
near  the  matter;  after  which  they  ate  the  fiefh  of 
the  facrifice,  and  fo  retired  each  one  to  his  lodging. 

I  enjoyed  little  fatisfadion  this  night,  being  en- 
tirely alone  on  the  ifland,  as  to  any  chriflian  com- 
pany, and  in  the  mid  ft  of  this  idolatrous  revel  ;  and 
having  walked  to  and  fro  until  body  and  mind  were 

pained 


Among  Ihe  INDIANS.  i^ 

pained  and  much  opprefled,  I  at  length  crept  into  a 
little  crib  made  for  corn,  and  there  flept  on  the  poles. 

Lord's  Day,  September  21.— Spent  the  day  with 
the  Indians  on  the  ifland.  As  foon  as  they  were 
well  up  in  the  morning,  I  attempted  to  inftrud: 
them,  and  laboured  for  that  purpofe  to  get  them  to- 
gether, but  quickly  found  they  had  fomething  elfe 
to  do  ;  for  near  noon  they  gathered  together  all  their 
powwows,  or  conjurers,  and  fet  about  half  a  dozen 
of  them  to  playing  their  juggling  tricks,  and  acting 
their  frantick  dillradted  poftures,  in  order  to  find  out 
why  they  were  then  {o  fickly  upon  the  illand,  num- 
bers of  them  being  at  that  time  difordered  with  a 
fever  and  bloody  flux.  In  this  exercife  they  were  en- 
gaged for  feveral  hours,  making  all  the  wild,  ridicu- 
lous and  diftradted  motions  imaginable  ;  fometimes 
finging,  fometimes  howling,  fometimes  extending 
their  hands  to  the  utmoft  ftretch,  fpreading  all  their 
fingers,  and  feemed  to  pu(h  with  them,  as  if  they 
defigned  to  fright  fomething  away,  or,  at  leaft,  keep 
it  ofFat  arm's  end  ;  fometimes  firoking  their  faces 
with  their  hands,  then  fpurting  water  as  fine  as  mift  ; 
fometimes  fetting  flat  on  the  earth,  then  bowing 
down  their  faces  to  the  ground  ;  wringing  their  fides 
as  if  in  pain  and  anguifh  ;  twifting  their  faces,  turn- 
ing up  their  eyes,  grunting,  puffing,  &c. 

Their  monftrous  actions  tended  to  excite  ideas  of 
horror,  and  feemed  to  have  fomething  in  them,  as  I 
thought,  peculiarly  fuited  to  raife  the  devil,  if  he 
could  be  raifed  by  any  thing  odd,  ridiculous  and 
frightful.  Some  of  them  I  could  obferve  were  much 
more  fervent  and  devout  in  the  bufinefs  than  others, 
and  feemed  to  chant,  peep  and  m.utter  Vv'ith  a  great 
degree  of  warmth  and  vigour,  as  if  determined  to 
awaken  and  engage  the  powers  below.  I  fat  at  a 
fmall  difiance,  not  more  than  thirty  feet  from  them, 
though  undifcovcred,  with  my  Bible  in  my  hand, 

Z  %  refolving 


26      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

refolving  if  poflible  to  fpoil  their  fport,  and  prevent 
their  receiving  any  anfwers  from  the  infernal  world, 
and  there  viewed  the  whole  fcene.  They  continued 
their  hideous  charms  and  incantations  for  more  than 
three  hours,  until  they  had  all  wearied  themfelves 
out,  although  they  had  in  that  fpace  of  time  taken 
fundry  intervals  of  reft,  and  at  length  broke  up,  I  ap- 
prehended, without  receiving  any  anfwer  at  all. 

After  they  had  done  powwowing,  I  attempted  to 
difcourfe  with  them  about  chriftianity  ;  but  they 
foon  fcattered,  and  gave  me  no  opportunity  for  any 
thing  of  that  nature. 

Crosweeksung,  in  New-Jerfey,  1745. 

Preached  to  my  people  from  John  xiv,  i. — 6. 
The  divine  prefence  feemed  to  be  in  the  affembly. 
Numbers  were  affedted  with  divine  truths,  and  it 
was  a  feafon  of  comfort  tofome  in  particular. 

O  !  what  a  difference  is  there  between  thefe  and 
the  Indians  I  had  lately  treated  with  upon  Sufque- 
hannah  !  To  be  with  thofe  feemed  like  being  ban- 
ifhed  from  God  and  all  his  people  ;  to  be  with  thefe 
like  being  admitted  into  his  family,  and  to  the  en- 
joyment of  his  divine  prefence  !  How  great  is  the 
change  lately  made  upon  numbers  of  thefe  Indians, 
who  not  many  months  ago  were  many  of  them  as 
thoughtlefs,  and  averfe  to  chriftianity,  as  thofe  upon 
Sufquehannah  !  And  how  aftoniftiing  is  that  grace 
that  has  made  this  change  ! 

Lord's  Day  ^Odiober  6, — Preached  in  the  forenoon 
from  John  x.  7. — 11.  There  was  a  confiderable 
melting  among  my  people,  the  dear  j^oung  chrift- 
ians  were  refreftied,  comforted  and  ftrengthened, 
and  one  or  two  perfons  newly  awakened. 

In  the  afternoon  I  difcourfed  on  the  ftory  of  the 
jailor,  Adts  xvi.  and  in  the  evening  expounded  Ads 

XX. 


Among   the   INDIANS,  27 

XX.  I. — 12.  There  was  at  this  time  a  very  agreea- 
ble melting  fpread  through  the  whole  affembly.  I 
think  I  fcarce  ever  faw  a  more  deiirable  affection  in 
any  number  of  people  in  my  life.  There  was  fcarce 
a  dry  eye  to  be  fcen  among  them,  and  yet  nothing 
boifierous  or  unfeemly,  nothing  that  tended  to  dif- 
turb  the  publick  worlhip  3  but  rather  to  encourage 
and  excite  a  chriftian  ardour  and  fpirit  of  devotion. 

Thofe,  who  I  have  reafon  to  hope  were  favingly 
renewed,  were  firft  afFe(5ted,  and  feemed  to  rejoice 
much,  but  with  brokennefs  of  fpirit  and  godly  fear; 
their  exercifes  were  much  the  fame  with  thofe  men- 
tioned in  my  Journal  of  Auguft  26,  evidently  ap> 
pearing  to  be  the  genuine  effedl  of  a  fpirit  of  adop::* 
tion. 

After  publick  fervice  was  over  I  withdrew,  being 
much  tired  with  the  labours  of  the  day,  and  the  In- 
dians continued  praying  among  themfelves  for  near 
two  hours  together,  which  continued  exercifes  ap- 
peared to  be  attended  with  a  blelfed  quickening  in- 
fluence from  on  high. 

I  could  not  but  earneftly  wifh  that  numbers  of 
God's  people  had  been  prefent  at  this  feafon,  to  fee 
and  hear  thefe  things,  which  I  am  fure  muft  refrefh 
the  heart  of  every  true  lover  of  Zion's  intereft.  To 
fee  thofe,  who  very  lately  were  favage  pagans  and 
idolaters,  having  no  hope,  and  wiihout  God  in 
the  world,  now  filled  with  a  fenfe  of  divine  love  and 
grace,  and  worfhipping  the  Father  in  fpirit  and  in 
truth,  as  numbers  here  appeared  to  do,  was  not  a 
little  affed:ingj  and  efpecially  to  fee  them  appear  fo 
tender  and  humble,  as  well  as  lively,  fervent  and  de- 
vout in  the  divine  fervice. 

O^ober  24. — Difcourfed    from  John  iv.  13.    14. 

There  was  a  great  attention,  a  defirable  affedtion, 

and  an  unaffed:cd  melting  in  the  affembly.     It  is 

furpriling  to  fee  how  eager  they  are  of  hearing  the 

2  3  word 


28      D  I  V  I  N  E  G  R  A  C  E  displayed 

word  of  God.  I  have  oftentimes  thought  they  would 
cheerfully  and  diligently  attend  divine  vvorfliip  twen- 
ty four  hours  together,  had  they  an  opportunity  fo 
to  do. 

Odfober  25. — Difcourfed  to  my  people  refpecSling 
the  refurrediion,  from  Luke  xx.  27. — 36.  And 
when  I  came  to  mention  the  bleflednefs  the  godly 
fhall  enjoy  at  that  feafon,  their  final  freedom  from 
death,  fin  and  forrow  ;  their  equality  to  the  angels 
in  regard  of  their  nearnefs  to  and  enjoyment  of 
Chriil:  5  fome  imperfed:  degree  of  which  they  are 
favoured  with  in  the  prefent  life,  from  whence 
fprings  their  fweeteft  comfort  ;  and  their  being  the 
children  of  God,  openly  acknowledged  by  him  as 
fuch  :  I  fay,  when  I  mentioned  thefe  things,  num- 
bers of  ihem  were  much  affected,  and  melted  with  a 
view  of  this  bleffed  flate. 

Odiober^%. — Difcourfed  from  Matth.  xxii.  i. — 13. 
I  was  enabled  to  open  the  fcripture,  and  adapt  my 
difcourfe  and  expreflions  to  the  capacities  of  my 
people  I  know  not  how,  in  a  plain,  eafy,  and  famil- 
iar manner,  beyond  all  that  I  could  have  done  by 
the  utmoft  ftudy  :  And  this,  without  any  fpecial 
difficulty,  with  as  much  freedom  as  if  I  had  been 
addrefling  a  common  audience,  who  had  been  in- 
ftrudfed  in  the  doctrine  of  chriffianity  all  their  days. 

The  word  of  God  at  this  time  feemed  to  fall  up- 
on the  affembly  with  a  divine  power  and  influence, 
efpecially  toward  the  clofe  of  my  difcourfe  :  There 
was  both  a  fweet  melting  and  bitter  mourning  in  the 
audience.  The  dear  chridians  were  refrefhed  and 
comforted,  convid:ions  revived  in  others,  and  fundry 
perfons  newly  awakened  who  had  never  been  with 
us  before ;  and  fo  much  of  the  divine  prefence  ap- 
peared in  the  affembly,  that  it  feemed,  thiiis^as  none 
other  than  the  houfe  of  God,  and  the  gate  of  heaven. 
And  all  that  had  any  favour  and  relifh  of  divin* 

things 


Among  THE  IN  D  I  A  N  S.  29 

things  wcrce;ven  conftrained  by  the  fwcetnefs  of  that 
feafon.to  fay,  Lord,  it  is  good  for  us  to  be  here.  If  ever 
there  was  aniongft  my  people  an  appearance  of  the 
New-Jerufalem,  <2J  a  bride  adorned  for  her  hufhand, 
there  was  much  of  it  at  this  time  ;  and  fo  agreeable 
was  the  entertainment  where  fucjfi  tokens  of  the  di-! 
vine  prefence  were,  that  I  could  fcarce  be  willing  in 
the  evening  to  leave  the  place,  and  repair  to  my 
lodgings.  I  was  refrelhed  with  a  view  of  the  con- 
tinuance of  this  bleffed  work  of  grace  among  them^ 
and  its  influence  upon  ftrangers  of  the  Indians  that 
had  of  late,  from  time  to  time,  providentially  fallen 
into  thefe  parts. 

Lord's  Day,  Nove?nber  3. — Preached  to  my  people 
from  Luke  xvi.  17.  more  efpecially  for  the  fake  of 
feveral  lately  brought  under  deep  concern  for  their 
louls.  There  was  fome  apparent  concern  and  affec- 
tion in  the  aflembly,  though  far  lefs  than  has  been 
ufualoflate. 

Afterwards  I  baptized  fourteen  perfons  of  the  In- 
dians, fix  adults  and  eight  children  :  One  of  thefe 
was  near  fourfcorc  years  of  age,  and  I  have  reafon 
to  hope  God  has  brought  her  favingly  home  to  him- 
felf  :  Two  of  the  others  were  men  of  fifty  years  old , 
who  had  been  fingular  and  remarkable,  even  among 
the  Indians,  for  their  wickednefs.  One  of  them  had 
been  a  murderer,  and  both  notorious  drunkards  as 
well  as  exceffive  quarrelforne  ;  but  now  I  cannot 
but  hope  both  are  become  fubjed:s  of  God*s  fpecial 
grace,  efpecially  the  woril  of  them.  I  deferred  their 
baptifm  for  many  weeks  after  they  had  given  evi- 
dences of  having  paffed  a  great  change,  that  I  might 
have  more  opportunities  to  obferve  the  fruits  of  thofc 
impreffions  they  had  been  under,  and  apprehended 
the  way  was  now  clear  :  And  there  was  not  one  of 
the  adults  1  baptized,  but  what  bad  given  me  fome 
comfortable  grounds  to  hope,  that  God  had  wrought 

Z  4  a 


30      DIVINEGRACE  dispi^ayed 

a  work  of  fpecial  grace  in  their  hearts  ;  ahhough  I 
could  not  have  the  fame  degree  of  fatisfadtion  rc- 
fpe<5ting  one  or  two  of  them,  as  the  reft. 

November  4. — Difcourfed  from  John  xi.  briefly 
explaining  moft  of  the  chapter.  Divine  truths  made 
deep  impreflionsupon  many  in  the  affembly  j  num- 
bers were  afFeifted  with  a  view  of  the  power  of 
Chrift,  manifefted  in  his  raifing  the  dead,  and  ef- 
pecially  when  this  inftance  of  his  power  was  im- 
proved to  (hew  his  power  and  ability  to  raife  dead  fouls, 
fuch  as  many  of  them  then  felt  themlelves  to  be,  to 
a fpi ritual  life;  Asalfo  to  raife  the  dead  at  the  laftday, 
and  difpenfe  to  them  due  rewards  and  punifhincnts. 

There  were  fundry  of  the  perlbns  lately  come  here 
from  remote  places,  that  were  now  brought  under 
deep  and  prefling  concern  for  their  fouls,  particu- 
larly one,  who  not  long  fince  came  half  drunk,  and 
railed  on  us,  and  attempted  by  all  means  to  difturb 
us  while  engaged  in  the  divine  worfhip,  was  now  fo 
concerned  and  diftreifed  for  her  foul,  that  fhe  feem- 
ed  unable  to  get  any  eafe  without  an  intereft  in 
Chrift.  There  were  many  tears  and  affbd:ionate  fobs 
and  groans  in  the  aftembly  in  general,  fome  weep- 
ing for  themfelves,  others  for  their  friends.  And 
although  perfons  are  doubtlefs  much  eafier  affedtcd 
now,  than  they  were  in  the  beginning  of  this  relig- 
ious concern,  when  tears  and  cries  for  their  fouls 
"Were  things  unheard  of  among  them,  yet  I  mufl  lay, 
their  affedtion  in  general  appeared  genuine  and  un- 
feigned J  and  efpecially  this  appeared  very  confpic- 
uous  in  thofe  newly  awakened.  So  that  true  and 
genuine  convic^tions  of  fin,  feem  ftiil  to  be  begur^ 
and  promoted  in  many  inftances. 

Baptized  a  child  this  day,  and  perceived  fundry 
of  the  baptized  perfons  affcded  with  the  adminiftra- 
tion  of  this  ordinance,  as  being  thereby  minded  of 
their  own  folemn  engagements. 

I 


Among   the  INDIANS.  31 

I  have  now  baptized  in  all  forty  feven  perfons  of 
the  Indians,  twenty  three  adults,  and  twenty  four 
children.  Thirty  five  of  them  belonging  to  thefe 
parts,  and  the  reft  to  the  Forks  of  Delaware  :  And, 
through  rich  grace,  they  have  none  of  them  as 
yet  been  left  to  difgrace  their  profefTion  of  chrif- 
tianity  by  any  fcandalous  or  unbecoming  beha- 
viour. 

hordes  Day,  November  2^. — Preached  both  parts  of 
the  day  from  the  ftory  of  Zaccheus,  Luke  xix.  i . — 9. 
In  the  latter  exercife,  when  I  opened  and  infifted 
upon  the  falvation  that  comes  to  the  finner,  upon 
his  becoming  a  fon  of  Abraham,  or  a  true  believer, 
the  word  feemed  to  be  attended  with  divine  pow- 
er to  the  hearts  of  the  hearers.  Numbers  were 
much  afFecfted  with  divine  truths.  Former  con- 
vi(5tions  were  revived.  One  or  two  perfons  newly 
awakened.  And  a  moft  affectionate  engagement 
in  divine  fervice  appeared  among  them  univer- 
fally. 

The  impreffions  they  were  under  appeared  to  be 
the  genuine  effect  of  God's  word  brought  home  to 
their  hearts,  by  the  power  and  influence  of  the  Di- 
vine Spirit. 

November  lb, — Afterhavingfpent  fome  time  in  pri- 
vate conferences  with  my  people,  I  difcourfed  pub- 
Jickly  among  them,  from  John  v.  19.  I  was  favour- 
ed with  fome  fpecial  freedom  and  fervency  in  my 
difcourfe,  and  a  powerful  energy  accompanied  di- 
vine truths.  Many  wept  and  fobbed  affectionately, 
and  fcarce  any  appeared  unconcerned  in  the  whole 
affembly.  The  influence  that  feized  the  audience 
appeared  gentle,  and  yet  pungent  and  efficacious. 
It  produced  no  boifterous  commotion  of  the  paf- 
fions,  but  feemed  deeply  to  affed:  the  heart  ;  and 
excited  in  the  perfons  under  convidions  of  their  loft 
ftate,  heavy  groans  and  tears-.    And  in  others  who 

had 


3z      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

had  obtained  comfort,  a  fwect  and  humble  melting. 
It  feemed  like  the  .gentle  but  fteady  Ihower^  th^t 
efFcdually  water  the  earth,  without  violently  beat- 
ing upon  the  furface. 

November  30. — Preached  near  night,  after  having 
fpent  fome  hours  in  private  conference  with  iomc 
of  my  people  about  their  fouls'  concerns.  Explain- 
ed and  infiited  upon  the  ftory  of  the  rich  man  and 
Lazarus,  Luke  xvi.  19.— 26.  The  word  made 
powerful  impreffions  upon  many  in  the  ailembly, 
efpecially  while  1  difcourfed  ct"  the  bkfledneis  of 
Lazarus  in  Abraham's  bolom. 

Lord's  Day,  December  1. — Difcourfed  to  my  peo- 
ple, in  the  forenoon,  from  Luke  xvi.  27. — 31 .  There 
appeared  an  unfeigned  affcd:ion  in  divers  perions, 
and  fome  feemed  deeply  .  imprelfed  with  divine 
truths. 

Lord's  Day,  December^. — Difcourfed  on  the  ftory 
of  the  blind  man,  John  ix.  There  appeared  no  re- 
markable effcd:  of  the  word  upon  the  aflembly  at 
this  time.  The  perlons  who  have  lately  been  much 
concerned  for  their  fouls,  feemed  now  not  lo  ailed^- 
ed  nor  felicitous  to  obtain  an  interell:  in  Chrift  as 
has  been  ufual  ;  although  they  attended  divine  fer- 
vice  with  ferioufnefs  and  diligence. 

Such  have  been  the  doings  of  the  Lord  here,  in 
awakening  finners,  and  affe(5ting  the  hearts  of  thofe 
who  are  brought  to  folid  comfort,  with  a  freih  fenfe 
of  divine  things  from  time  to  time,  that  it  is  novv 
ftrange  to  fee  the  ailembly  lit  with  dry  eyes,  and 
without  fobs  and  groans  ! 

Lord's  Day,  December  15. — Preached  to  the  In- 
dians from  Luke  xiii.  24. — 28.  Divine  truths  fell 
with  weight  and  power  upon  the  audience,  .and 
ieemed  to  reach  the  hearts  of  many.  Near  night 
difcourfed  to  them  again  from  Matth.  xxv.  31.— 46. 
At  which  feafon  alio,  the  word  appeared  to  be  ac* 

companied 


Among  the   I  N  D  I  AN  S.  23 

companied  with  a  divine  influence,  and  made  pow- 
erful impreffions  upon  the  affembly  in  general,  as 
well  as  upon  divers  perfons  in  a  very  fpecial  and 
particular  manner.  This  was  an  amazing  fcafon 
of  grace  !  The  word  of  ^ be  Lord,  this  day,  '■x'as  quick 
and  powerful,  Jharper  than  a  two  edged  fivord,  and 
pierced  to  the  hearts  of  many.  The  alTcmbly  was 
grently  affedled,  and  deeply  wrouglit  upon  ;  yec 
without  fo  much  apparent  commotion  of  the  paf- 
fions,  as  was  ufual  in  the  beginning  of  this  work  o£ 
grace.  The  impreffions  made  by  the  word  of  God 
upon  the  audience,  appeared  folid,  rational  and  deep, 
worthy  of  the  folemn  truths  by  means  of  which 
they  were  produced,  and  far  from  being  the  effeds 
of  any  fuddcn  fright  or  groundlcfs  perturbation  of 
mind. 

O,  how  did  the  hearts  of  the  hearers  feem  to  bow: 
under  the  weight  of  divine  truths!  i\nd  how  evident 
did  it  now  appear  that  they  received  and  felt  them,  not 
as  the  word  of  man  but  as  the  word  of  God  !  None 
can  frame  a  juft  idea  of  the  appearance  of  ourafTem- 
bly  at  this  time,  but  thofe  who  have  feen  a  congrega, 
tion  folemnly  awed,  and  deeply  imprefled  by  the 
fpecial  power  and  influence  of  divine  truths  deliver-, 
ed  to  them  in  the  name  of  God  1 

December  i6.— Difcourfed  to  my  people  in  the 
evening  from  Luke  xi.  i. — 13.  There  was  much 
affe(5tion  and  concern  in  the  aflembly  ;  and  efpeclaU 
3y  one  woman  appeared  in  great  diflrefs  for  her  foul. 
She  vyas  brought  to  fuch  an  agony  in  feeking  after 
Chrifl,  that  the  fweat  ran  off  her  face  for  a  con- 
iiderable  time  together,  although  the  evening 
was  very  cold  ;  and  her  bitter  cries  were  the  molt 
affecting  indication  of  the  inward  anguifli  of  her 
heart. 

Lord*s  Day^  December  22. — Difcourfed  upon  the 
flpry  of  the  young  man  in  the  gofpel,  Mattli.  ix, 

16. — 22. 


34       DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

1 6 — 22.    God  made  it  a  feafonable  word,  I  am  per- 
fuadcd,  to  feme  fouls. 

There  were  fundry  perfons  of  the  Indians  newly 
come  here,  who  had  frequently  lived  among  Qua- 
kers, and  being  more  civilized  and  conformed  to 
Englifh  manners  than  the  generality  of  Indians,  they 
had  imbibed  fome.of  the  Quakers*  errors  j  efpecially 
this  fundamental  one,  viz.  That  if  men  will  but 
live  foberly  and  honeftly,  according  to  the  dicflates 
of  their  own  confciences  (or  the  light  within)  there 
is  then  no  danger  or  doubt  of  their  falvation,  &c. 
Thefe  perfons  I  found  much  worfe  to  deal  with 
than  thofe  who  are  wholly  under  pagan  darknefs, 
who  make  no  pretences  to  knowledge  in  chrifti- 
anity  at  all,  nor  have  any  felf  righteous  foundation 
to  ftand  upon.  However,  they  all,  except  one,  ap- 
peared now  convinced,  that  this  fober  honeft  life  of 
itfelf,  was  not  fufficient  to  falvation  ;  fince  Chrift 
himfelf  had  declared  it  fo  in  the  cafe  of  the  young 
man.  And  feemed,  in  fome  meafure,  concerned  to 
obtain  that  change  of  heart  which  I  had  been  labour- 
ing to  fhew  them  the  neceflity  of. 

This  was  like  wife  a  feafon  of  comfort  to  fome 
fouls,  and  in  particular  to  one  (the  fame  mentioned 
in  my  journal  of  the  i6th  inftant)  who  never  before 
obtained  any  fettled  comfort,  though  I  have  abun- 
dant reafon  to  think  (he  had  paiTed  a  faving  change 
fome  days  before. 

She  now  appeared  in  a  heavenly  frame  of  mind, 
compofed  and  delighted  with  the  divine  will.  When 
I  came  to  difcourfe  particularly  with  her,  and  to  in- 
quire of  her,  how  (he  got  relief  and  deliverance  from 
the  fpiritual  diftreffes  (he  had  lately  been  under,  (lie 
anfwered  in  broken  EngliQi,  Me  try,  me  try,  (ave 
myfelf,  laft  my  ftrength  be  all  gone,  (meaning  her 
ability  to  fave  her(elf)  coud*nt  me  ftir  bit  further. 
iDcn  laft,  me  forc*d  let  Jefus  Chrift  alone,  fend  me 

heJl 


Among  the  INDIANS.  35 

hell  if  he  pleafe*.  I  faid,  But  you  was  not  willing 
to  go  to  hell,  was  you  ?  She  replied,  Could  not  me 
help  it.  My  heart  he  would  wicked  for  all.  Could 
not  me  make  him  good*!',  (meaning  fhe  faw  it  was 
right  fhe  fhould  go  to  hell,  becaufe  her  heart  was 
wicked,  and  would  be  fo  after  all  (lie  coald  do  to 
mend  it.)  I  afked  her,  how  (he  got  out  of  this  cafe. 
She  anfwered  ftill  in  the  fame  broken  language,  By 
by  my  heart  be  grad  defperately.  I  afked  her,  why 
her  heart  was  glad.  She  replied,  Grad  my  heart 
Jefus  Chrift  do  what  he  pleafe  with  me.  Den  me 
tink,  grad  my  heart  Jefus  Chrift  fend  me  hell.  Did*nt 
me  care  where  he  put  me,  me  lobe  him  for  allj,  &c. 

And  (he  could  not  readily  be  convinced,  but  that 
file  was  willing  to  go  to  hell,  if  Chrift  was  pleafed 
to  fend  her  there.  Though  the  truth  evidently  was, 
her  will  was  fo  fwallowed  up  in  the  divine  will, 
that  fhe  could  not  frame  any  hell  in  her  imagination 
that  would  be  dreadful  or  undefirable,  provided  it 
was  but  the  will  of  God  to  fend  her  to  it. 

Towards  night  difcourfed  to  them  again  in  the 
catechetical  method  I  entered  upon  the  evening  be- 
fore. And  when  I  came  to  improve  the  truths  i 
had  explained  to  them,  and  to  anfwer  that  queftion, 
But  how  (hall  I  know  whether  God  hath  chofen  me 
to  everlafting  life  ?  by  prefTing  them  to  come  and 
give  up  their  hearts  to  Chrift,  and  thereby  to  make 
their  eledtion  fure,  they  then  appeared  much  affect- 
ed :  And  the  perfons  under  concern  were  afrefh  en- 
gaged in  feeking  after  an  intereft  in  him  ;  while 
fome  others,  who  had  obtained  comfort  before,  were 

refrcfhed 

*  In  proper  FnglifVi,  thus,  I  tried  and  tried  to  fave  myfelf,  until  at  laft  my  ftrengtk 
.was  all  gone,  and  I  coufd  not  ftir  any  furrher.  Then,  at  laft,  I  was  forced  to  let 
Jefus  Chrift  alone  to  fend  me  to  hell  if  he  plcaied. 

t  In  plain  Englifh,  thus,  I  could  not  help  it.  My  heart  would  be  wicked  for  all 
what  1  could  do.     I  could  not  make  itgood. 

X  By  and  by  my  heart  was  exceeding  glad.  My  heart  was  glad  that  Jelus  Chrift 
would  do  with  mc  what  he  pleafed.  Then  1  thought  my  heart  would  be  glad 
although  Chrift  (hould  fend  me  to  hell.  I  did  not  care  whsie  he  put  rae,  I  (hould 
love  him  for  all,  i.  e.  do  what  he  would  with  me. 


56       DIVINEGRACE  displayed 

refrefhed  to  find  that  love  to  God  in  themfelves, 
which  was  an  evidence  of  his  eledling  love  to  them. 

Dece?7i6er  25.^-The  Indians  having  beenufed  upon 
Chriltmas  days  to  drink  and  revel  among  fome  of  the 
white  people  in  thefe  parts,  1  thought  it  proper  this 
day  to  call  them  together  and  dil'courle  to  them 
upon  divine  things  ;  which  I  accordingly  did  from 
the  parable  of  the  barren  fig  tree,  Luke  xiii.  6. — 9. 
A  divme  influence,  1  am  periuaded,  accompanied 
the  word  at  this  feafon.  The  power  of  God  appear- 
ed in  the  affembly,  not  by  producing  any  remarka- 
ble cries,  but  by  Shocking  and  rouiing  at  heart,  (as  it 
feemed)  feveral  ft  up  id  creatures,  that  were  Icarce 
ever  moved  with  any  concern  before.  The  power 
attending  divine  truths,  feemed  to  have  the  influ- 
ence of  the  earthquake  rather  than  the  whirlwind 
upon  them.  Their  paflions  were  not  fo  much  alarm- 
ed as  has  been  common  here,  in  times  paft ;  but  their 
judgments  appeared  to  be  powerfully  convinced  by 
the  mafterly  and  conquering  influence  of  divine  truths. 
The  impreflTions  made  upon  the  aflembly  in  general, 
feemed  not  fuperficial,  but  deep  and  heart  affedling. 
O  how  ready  did  they  now  appear  univerfally  to 
embrace  and  comply  with  every  thing  they  heard 
and  were  convinced  was  duty  !  God  was  in  the 
tnidft  of  us  of  a  truth,  bowing  and  melting  ftub- 
born  hearts  !  How  many  tears  and  fobs  were  then 
to  be  feen  and  heard  among  us  !  What  livelin^fs 
and  ftrid:  attention  !  What  eagernefs  and  intenfe- 
ncfs  of  mind  appeared  in  the  whole  affembly  in  the 
time  of  divine  iervice  !  They  feemed  to  watch  and 
wait  for  the  dropping  of  God's  word,  as  the  thirfly 
e a r t  h  fo r  t  h e  former  and  latter  rain . 

December  28. — Difcourfed  to  my  people  in  the 
catechetical  method  I  lately  entered  upon.  And  in 
the  improvement  of  my  difcourfc,  wherein  I  was 
comparing  man's  prefent  with  his  primitive  ftate  ; 

and 


Among  the   INDIA^NS.  ♦  37 

and  fliewing  what  he  had  fallen  from,  and  the  mif- 
eries  he  is  now  involved  in,  and  expofed  to.  in  his 
natural  eftate  ;  and  prelling  finners  to-take  iview 
of  their  deplorable  circumftances  without  Chrift  ; 
as  alfo  to  ftrive  that  they  might  obtain  an-  intereft  in 
him  ;  the  Lord,  I  trull,  granted  a  remarkabh  influ- 
ence of  his  blelTed  Spirit  to  accompany  what  was 
fpoken,  and  there  was  a  great  concern  appeared  in 
the  alTembly  ;  Many  were  melted  into  tears  and 
fobs,  and  the  impreffions  made  upon  them,  teemed 
deep  and  heart  affed:ing. 

Lord's  Day\  December  29. — Preached  from  John 
iii.  1 . — 5.  A  number  of  white  people  were  prefent 
as  is  ufual  upon  the  Sabbath.  The  difcourfe  was 
accompanied  with  power,  and  leemed  to  have  a 
filent,  but  deep  and  piercing  influence  upon  the  au- 
dience. Many  wept  and  fobbed  affectionately.  And 
there  were  fome  tears  among  the  white  people  as 
well  as  the  Indians.  Some  could  not  refrain  from 
crying  out,  though  there  were  not  many  fo  exercif- 
ed.  But  the  impreffions  made  upon  their  hearts, 
appeared  chiefly  by  the  extraordinary  earneflnefs  of 
their  attention,  and  their  heavy  iighs  and  tears. 

After  publick  worfliip  was  over,  I  went  to  my 
houle,  propofing  to  preach  again  after  a  fliort  fea- 
fon  of  intermiflion.  But  they  foon  came  in  one  af- 
ter another,  with  tears  in  their  eyes,  to  know  what 
they  fliould  do  to  be  faved.  And  the  Divine  Spirit 
in  fuch  a  manner  fet  home  upon  their  hearts  what 
I  fpoke  to  ihcm,  that  the  houfe  was  foon  filled  with 
cries,  and  groans.  They  all  flocked  together  upon 
this  occafion,  and  thofe  whom  I  had  reafon  to  think 
in  a  chrifUefs  ftate,  were  almolt  univerGilIy  feized 
with  concern  for  their  fouls. 

.  It  was  .an  amazing  fcafon  of  power  among  them, 
and  feem^d  as   if  God  had  bo-jucd  the  heavejis  ar.d 
com.'  dowi.     So  aflonilhingly  prevalent  was  the  01^- 

eTatioii 


38      DIVINE  GRACE   displayed 

eration  upon  old  as  well  as  young,  that  it  feemed 
as  if  none  would  be  left  in  a  fecure  and  natural 
ftate,  but  that  God  was  now  about  to  convert  all 
the  world.  And  I  was  ready  to  think  then,  that  I 
fliould  never  again  defpair  of  the  converfion  of  any 
man  or  woman  living,  be  they  who  or  what  xhcy 
would. 

It  is  impoflible  to  give  a  juil:  and  lively  defcrip- 
tion  of  the  appearance  of  things  at  this  feafon,  at 
leaft,  fuch  as  to  convey  a  bright  and  adequate  idea 
of  the  efFe(5ls  of  this  influence  !  A  number  might 
now  be  feen  rejoicing  that  God  had  not  taken 
away  the  powerful  influence  of  his  bleffed  Spirit 
from  this  place  ;  refrefhed  to  fee  fo  many  driving 
to  enter  in  at  the  firait  gate  ;  and  animated  with 
fuch  concern  for  them,  that  they  wanted  to  pufh 
them  forward,  as  fome  of  them  exprefled  it.  At  the 
fame  time  numbers,  both  of  men  and  women,  old 
and  young,  might  be  feen  in  tears,  and  fome  in  an- 
guifh  of  fpirit,  appearing  in  their  very  countenances 
like  condemned  malefacflors,  bound  towards  the 
place  of  execution,  with  a  heavy  folicitude  fitting  in 
their  faces  \  fo  that  there  feemed  here,  as  I  thought, 
a  lively  emblem  of  the  folcmn  day  of  accounts  !  A 
mixture  of  heaven  and  hell,  of  joy  unfpeakable,  and 
anguifli  inexpreflible  ! 

The  concern  and  religious  affection  vj^as  fuch, 
that  I  could  not  pretend  to  have  any  formal  relig- 
ious exercife  among  them  -,  but  fpent  the  time  in 
difcourfing  to  one  and  another,  as  I  thought  moft 
proper,  and  feafonable  for  each,  and  fome  times  ad- 
drelTed  them  all  together,  and  finally  concluded 
with  prayer.  Such  were  their  circumftances  at 
this  feafon,  that  I  could  fcarce  have  half  an  hour's 
refl  from  fpeaking,  from  about  half  an  hour  before 
twelve  o'clock  (at  which  time  I  began  publiek  wor- 

fhip)  until  paft  feven  at  night. 

There 


Among  i^he  INDIANS.  39 

There  appeared  to  be  four  or  five  perfons  newly 
awakened  this  day,  and  the  evening  before,  fome  of 
whom  but  very  lately  came  among  us. 

December  30. — Was  vifited  by  four  or  five  young 
perfons  under  concern  for  their  fouls,  moftof  whom 
\yene  very  lately  awakened.  They  wept  much 
while  1  difcourfed  to  them,  and  endeavoured  to  prefs 
upon  them  the  neceffity  of  flying  to  Chrifl,  with- 
out delay,  for  falvation. 

'December  31. — Spent  fome  hours  this  day  in  vifit- 
ing  my  people  from  houfe  to  houfe,  and  converfing 
with  them  about  their  fpiritual  concerns ;  endeavour- 
ing to  prefs  tipon  chriftlefs  fouls  the  neceffity  of  a 
renovation  of  heart  :  And  fcarce  left  a  houfe,  with- 
out leaving  fome  or  other  of  its  inhabitants  in  tears, 
appearing  folicitoufly  engaged  to  obtain  an  interefl 
in  Chrifl. 

The  Indians  are  now  gathered  together  froni  all 
quarters  to  this  place,  and  have  built  them  little  cot- 
tages, fo  that  more  than  twenty  families  live  within, 
a  quarter  of  a  mile  of  me.  A  very  convenient  fitu- 
ation  in  regard  both  of  publick  and  private  in- 
ftruiflion. 

'January    1,    1745,6. — Spent     fome    confiderable 
time  in  vifiting  my  people  again.     Found  fcarce 
one  but  what  was  under  fome  ferious  impreffions " 
refpedling  their  fpiritual  concerns. 

'January  2. — Viiited  fome  perfons  newly  come 
among  us,  who  had  fcarce  ever  heard  any  thing  of 
chriftianity  (except  the  em^ptj''  name)  before.  En- 
deavoured to  inftruct  them  particularly  ya  the  firfl 
principles  of  religion,  in  the  moft  eafy  and  fai.uliar 
manner  I  could. 

There  are  firangcrs  from  remote  parts  almofi:  con- 
tinually dropping  in  amongus,fo  that  I  haveoccafion 
repeatedly  to  open  and  inculcate  the  firfb  principle3 
of  chriftianity. 

A  a  .  "January 


40     DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

'January  4. — Profecutcd  my  catechetical  method 
of  inftrucSing.  Found  my  people  able  to  anfwer 
queftions  with  propriety,  beyond  what  could  have 
been  expe<5ted  from  perfons  fo  lately  brought  out  of 
heathenifh  darknefs. 

Lord^s  Day,  January  5. — Difcourfed  from  Matth. 
xii.  10. — 13.  There  appeared  not  fo  much  liveli- 
nefs  and  affecftion  in  divine  fervice  as  ufual.  The 
fame  truths  that  have  often  produced  many  tears  and 
fobs  in  the  affembly,  feemed  row  to  have  no  fpecial 
influence  upon  any  in  it. 

Near  night  I  propofed  to  have  proceeded  in  my 
ufual  method  of  catechifing.  But  while  we  were 
engaged  in  the  firft  prayer,  the  power  of  God  feem- 
ed to  defcend  upon  the  aflembly  in  fuch  a  remarka- 
ble manner,  and  fo  many  appeared  under  prefling 
concern  for  their  fouls,  that  1  thought  it  much  more 
expedient  to  infill;  upon  the  plentiful  provifion  made 
by  divine  grace  for  the  redemption  of  peri  thing 
iinners,  and  to  prefs  them  to  a  fpeedy  acceptance  of 
the  great  falvation,  than  to  afk  them  queftions  about 
doctrinal  points.  What  was  moft  practical,  feem- 
ed moft  feafonable  to  be  infifted  upon,  while  num- 
bers appeared  fo  extraordinarily  folicitous  to  obtain 
an  intereft  in  the  great  Redeemer. 

Baptized  two  perfons  this  day  ;  one  adult  (the 
woman  particularly  mentioned  in  my  Journal  of 
December  22,)  and  one  child. 

This  woman  has  difcovered  a  very  fweet  and  heav- 
enly frame  of  mind,  from  time  to  time,  fince  her 
firft  reception  of  comfort.  One  morning  in  partic- 
ular fhe  came  to  fee  me,  difcovering  an  unufual  joy 
and  fatisfadtion  in  her  countenance;  and  when  1  in- 
quired into  the  reafon  of  it,  fhe  replied,  that  God 
had  made  her  feel  that  it  was  right  for  him  to  do 
what  he  pleafed  with  all  things  ;  and  that  it  would 
be  right  if  he  fhould  caft  her  hufband  and  fon  both 

into 


Among  the  INDIANS.  4! 

into  hell;  and  fhe  faw  it  was  fo  right  for  God  to  do 
what  he  pleafed  with  them,  that  fhe  could  not  but 
rejoice  if  God  fhould  fend  them  into  hell.  Though 
it  was  apparent  fhe  loved  them  dearly.  She,  more- 
over, inquired  whether  1  was  not  fent  to  preach  to 
the  Indians,  by  fome  good  people  a  great  way  off. 
I  replied »  Yes,  by  the  good  people  in  Scotland.  She 
anfwered,  that  her  heart  loved  thofe  good  people  fo, 
the  evening  before,  that  fhe  could  fcarce  help  pray- 
ing for  them  all  night,  her  heart  would  go  to  God 
for  them,  &c,  fo  that  the  bleffing  of  thofe  ready  to 
periih  is  like  to  come  upon  thofe  pious  perfons  who 
have  communicated  of  their  fubftance  to  the  propa- 
gation of  the  gofpel. 

'January  1 1. — Difcourfed  in  a  catechetical  method, 
as  ufual  of  late.  And  having  opened  our  firft  pa- 
rent's primitive  apoftafy,  from  God,  and  our  fall  ii\ 
him,  I  proceeded  to  improve  my  difcouffe,  by  fhevv- 
ing  the  neceffiry  we  ftood  in  of  an  almighty  Redeem- 
er, and  the  abfolute  need  every  iinner  has  of  an  in- 
tereft  in  his  merits  and  mediation.  There  was 
fome  tendernefs  and  afFecStionate  concern  appeared 
in  the  alfcmbly. 

Lord's  Day,  January  ici.— Preached  fforti  Ifaiah 
Iv.  6.  The  word  of  God  feemed  to  fall  upon  the 
audience,  with  a  divine  weight  and  influence,  and 
evidently  appeared  to  be  not  the  word  of  man.  The 
bkfTed  Spirit,  I  am  perluaded,  accompanied  what 
was  fpoken  to  the  hearts  of  many.  So  that  there 
was  a  powerful  revival  of  conviction  in  numbers 
who  were  under  fpiritual  exercife  before. 

January  13.— Was  vifited  by  divers  perfons  Under' 
deep  concern  for  their  fouls  :  One  of  whom  was 
newly  awakened.  It  is  a  mod  agreeable  work  to 
treat  with  fouls  who  are  lolicitoufly  inquiring  what 
they  Jhall  do  to  be  favcd.  And  as  we  are  never  to 
be  weary  in  well  doings  fo  the  obligation  feems  to  be 
A  a  2i  peculiarly 


42      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

peculiarly  ftrong  wRen  the  work  is  fo  very  defirable. 
And  yet  I  mufl  fay,  my  health  is  fo  much  impaired, 
and  my  fpirits  fo  wafted  with  my  labours  and  folitary 
manner  of  living  (there  being  no  human  creature  in 
the  houfe  with  me)  that  their  repeated  and  almoft 
inceflfant  applications  to  me  for  help  and  diretlion, 
are  fometimes  exceeding  burdenfome,  and  foexhauli 
my  fpirits,  that  I  become  fit  for  nothing  at  all,  en- 
tirely unable  to  profecute  any  bufinefs  fometimes 
for  days  together. 

January  14. — Spent  fome  time  in  private  con- 
ferences with  my  people,  and  found  fome  difpofed 
to  take  comfort,  as  I  thought,  upon  flighty  grounds. 
They  are  now  generally  awakened,  and  it  is  become 
fo  difgraceful,  as  well  as  terrifying  to  the  confcience, 
to  bcdeflitute  of  religion,  that  they  are  in  eminent 
danger  of  taking  up  with  any  appearances  of  grace, 
rather  than  to  live  under  the  fear  and  difgrace  of  an 
unregenerate  flate. 

Lord's  Day,  January  19. — Difcourfcd  to  my  peo- 
ple from  Ifaiah  Iv.  7.  Towards  night  catechized 
in  my  ordinary  method.  And  this  appeared  to  be 
a  powerful  feafon  of  grace  among  us.  Numbers 
were  much  affed:ed.  Convidlions  powerfully  reviv- 
ed. Divers  of  the  chriftians  refreQied  and  flrength- 
ened.  And  one  weary  heavy  laden  foul,  I  have  abund- 
ant reafon  to  hope,  brought  to  true  reft  and  folid 
comfort  in  Cbrifl,  who  afterwards  gave  me  fuch  an 
account  of  God*s  dealing  with  his  foul  as  was  abund- 
antly fatisfying  as  well  as  refrefliing  to  me. 

He  told  me,  he  had  often  heard  me  fay,  that  per- 
fons  mufl  fee  and  feel  themfelves  utterly  helplefs 
and  undone,  that  they  mufl  be  emptied  of  a  depend- 
ence upon  themfelves,  andof  allhopcoffaving  them- 
felves by  their  own  doings  in  order  to  their  coming 
to  Chrifl  for  falvation.  And  he  had  long  been  driv- 
ing after  this  view  of  things ;  fuppofing  this  would 

be 


Among  the   INDIANS.  43 

be  an  excellent  frame  of  mind  to  be  thus  emptied 
of  a  dependence  upon  his    own  goodnefs  :    That 
God  would  have  refpe6l  to  this  frame  ;  would  then 
be  well  pleafed  with  him,  and  beftow  eternal   life 
upon  him.     But  when  he  came  to  feel  himfelf  in  this 
helplefs  undone  condition,  he  found  it  quite  contra- 
ry to  all  his  thoughts  and  expediations  j  fo  that  it 
was  not  the  fame  nor  indeed  any   thing  like  the 
frame  he  had  been  feeking  after.     Inftead  of  its  be- 
ing a  good  frame  of  mind,  he  now  found  nothing 
but  badnefs  in  himfelf,  and  faw  it  was  forever  im- 
poflible  for  him  to  make  himfelf  any  better.     He 
wondered,  he  faid,  that  he  had  ever  hoped  to  mend 
his  own  heart.     He  was  amazed  he  had  never  be- 
fore feen  it  was  utterly  impoffible  for  him,  by  all 
his  contrivances  and  endeavours,  t©  do  any  thing 
that  way,  fince  the  matter  now  appeared  to  him  in 
fo  clear  a  light. 

Inflead  of  imagining  now,  that  God  would  be 
pleafed  with  him  for  the  fake  of  this  frame  of  mind, 
and  this  view  of  his  undone  eftate,  he  faw  clearly, 
and  felt  it  would  be  juft  with  God  to  fend  him  to 
eternal  mifery  ;  and  that  there  was  no  goodnefs  in 
what  he  then  felt  ;  for  he  could  not  help  feeing, 
that  he  was  naked,  finful  and  miferable,  and  there 
was  nothing  in  fuch  a  fight  to  deferve  God's  love 
or  pity. 

He  faw  thefe  things  in  a  manner  fo  clear  and  con- 
vincing, that  it  feemed*  to  him,  he  faid,  he  could 
convince  every  body  of  their  utter  inability  ever  to 
help  themfelves,  and  their  unworthinefs  of  any  help 
from  God. 

In  this  frame  of  mind  became  topublick  worfliip, 
this  evening,  and  while  -I  was  inviting  finners  to 
come  to  Chrift  naked  and  empty,  without  any  good- 
nefs of  their  own  to  recommend  them  to  his  accept- 
ance; then  he  thought  with  himfelf,  that  he  had  oft- 
A  a  3  en 


44       DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

en  tried  to  come  and  give  up  his  heart  to  Chrift, 
and  he  ufed  to  hope  that  fome  time  or  other  he  fhould 
be  able  to  do  fo.  But  now  he  was  convinced  he 
could  not,  and  it  feemed  utterly  vain  for  him  ever 
to  try  any  more  :  And  he  could  not,  he  faid,  find 
a  heart  to  make  any  further  attempt,  becaufe  he 
faw  it  would  fignify  nothing  at  all :  Nor  did  he  now 
hope  for  abetter  opportunity,  or  more  ability  hereaf- 
ter, as  he  had  formerly  done,  becaufe  he  faw,  and  was 
fully  convinced,  hisown  ftrength  would  forever  fail. 

While  he  was  muling  in  this  manner,  he  faw,  he 
faid,  with  his  heart  (which  is  a  common  phrafe 
among  them)  fomething  that  was  unfpeakably  good 
and  lovely,  and  what  he  had  never  feen  before;  and 
this  ftole  away  his  heart  whether  he  would  or  no. 
He  did  not,  he  faid,  know  what  it  was  he  faw.  He 
did  not  fay,  this  is  Jefus  Chrift,  but  it  was  fuch 
glory  and  beauty,  as  he  never  faw  before.  He  did 
not  now  give  away  his  heart  fo  as  he  had  formerly 
intended  and  attempted  to  do,  but  it  went  away  of 
itfelf  after  that  glory  he  then  difcovered.  He  ufed 
to  try  to  make  a  bargain  with  Chrift,  to  give  up  his 
heart  to  him,  that  he  might  have  eternal  life  for  it. 
But  now  he  thought  nothing  about  himfeU,  or  what 
would  become  of  him  hereafter.  But  was  pleafed, 
and  his  mind  was  wholly  taken  up  with  the  unfpeak- 
able  excellency  of  what  he  then  beheld. 

After  fome  time  he  was  wonderfully  pi eafcd  with 
the  way  of  flilvation  by  Chrift  ;  fo  that  it  feemed 
unfpeakably  better  to  be  laved  altogether  by  the 
mere  free  grace  of  God  in  Chrift,  than  to  have  any 
hand  in  faving  himfelf.  And  the  confequence  of^ 
this  exercife  is,  that  he  appears  to  retain  a  ienfe  and 
relifh  of  divine  things,  and  to  maintain  a  life  of 
ferioufnefs  and  true  religion. 

February  8. — Spent  a-confiderable  part  of  the  day 
in  viliting  my  people  from  houfe  tohoufe,  and  con- 

.  verling: 


Among  the  INDIANS.  45 

verfing  with  them  about  their  fouls*  concerns.  Di- 
vers perfons  wept  while  I  difcourfed  to  them,  and 
appeared  concerned  for  nothing  fo  much  as  for  an 
intereft  in  the  great  Redeemer. 

Lord's  Day,  February  9. — Difcourfed  to  my  peo- 
ple from  the  ftory  of  the  blind  man,  Matth.  x.  46.— 52. 
The  word  of  God  feemed  weighty  and  powerful 
upon  the  affembly  at  this  time,  and  made  confidera- 
ble  impreflions  upon  many.  Divers  in  particular 
who  have  generally  been  remarkably  ftupid  and  care- 
lefs  .under  the  means  of  grace,  were  now  awakened, 
and  wept  affe(5tionately.  And  the  moft  earncft  at- 
tention, as  well  as  tendernefs  and  affe(5lion,  appeared 
in»the  audience  univerfally. 

Baptized  three  perfons,  two  adults  and  one 
child.  The  adults,  I  have  reafon  to  hope,  were 
both  truly  pious.  There  was  a  copfiderable  melt- 
ing in  the  aflembly,  while  I  was  difcouriing  partic- 
uliarly  to  the  perfons,  and  adminiftering  the  or- 
dinance. 

March  i. — Catechifed  in  my  ordinary  metliod. 
Was  pleafed  and  refrcfhed  to  fee  them  anfvver  the 
queftions  propofed  to  them,  with  fuch  reinarkable 
readinefs,  diibretion  and  knowledge.  ^ 

Towards  the  clofe  of  my  difcourfe,  divine  truths 
made  confiderable  impreirions  upon  the  audience, 
and  produced  tears  and  fobs  in  fome  under  concern ; 
and  more  efpecially  a  fvveet  and  humble  melting 
in  fundry  that,  I  have  reafon  to  hope,  were  truly 
gracious. 

Lord's  Day,  March  2. — Preached  from  John  xv. 
I. — 6.  The  aifembly  appeared  not  fo  lively  in  their 
attention  as  ufual,  nor  fo  much  affc(5led  with  divine 
truths  in  general  as  has  been  common. 

Some  of  my  people  who  went  up  to  the  Forks  of 
Delaware  with  me,   being  now  returned,  were  ac- 
companied by  two  of  the  Indians  belonging  xo  the 
A  a  4  Forks,  ■ 


46      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

Forks,  who  had  promifed  me  a  fpeedy  vifit.  May 
the  Lord  meet  with  them  here.  They  can  fcarce  go 
into  a  houfe  now,  but  they  will  meet  with  chriflian 
converfation,  whereby,  it  is  hopeful,  they  may  be 
both  inftru(5led  and  awakened. 

Difcourfed  to  the  Indians  again  in  the  afternoon, 
and  obferved  among  them  fome  livelinefs  and  en- 
gagement in  divine  fervice,  though  not  equal  to 
what  has  often  appeared  here. 

I  know  of  no  aifembly  of  chriftians,  where  there 
feems  to  be  fo  much  of  the  prefence  of  God,  where 
brotherly  love  fo  much  prevails,  and  where  I  fhould 
take  fo  much  delight  in  the  publick  worfhip  of  God, 
in  the  general,  as  in  my  own  congregation.  Although 
not  more  than  nine  months  ago,  they  were  worfhip- 
ping  devils  and  dumb  idols,  under  the  power  of  pa- 
gan darknefs  and  fuperftition  I  Amazing  change 
this  !  efFe(51:ed  by  nothing  lefs  than  divine  power 
and  grace  !  This  is  the  doing  of  the  Lord,  and  it  is 
juftly  marvellous  in  our  eyes  ! 

Lord's  Day^  March  9. — Preached  from  Luke  x. 
38. — 4r%'  The  word  of  God  was  attended  with  pow- 
er and  energy  upon  the  audience.  Numbers  were 
affedted  and  concerned  to  obtain  the  one  thing  need- 
ful. And  fundry  that  have  given  good  evidences  of 
their  being  truly  gracious,  were  much  affed:ed  with  a 
fenfe  of  their  want  of  fpirituality  ;  and  faw  the  need 
they  flood  in  of  growing  in  grace.  And  moft  that 
had  been  under  any  impreffions  of  divine  things  in 
times  pad:,  feemed  now  to  have  thofc  imprelfions 
revived. 

In  the  afternoon  propofed  to  have  catechizeiJ  in 
my  ufual  method.  But  while  we  were  engaged  in 
the  firfl  prayer  in  the  Indian  language,  as  ufual,  a 
great  part  of  the  aflembly  was  fo  much  moved  and 
afFed:ed  with  divine  things,  that  I  thought  it  feaion- 
^ble  4nd  proper  to  omit  the  propofing  of  quelfion^ 

for 


Among   the  INDIANS.  47 

for  that  time, and  infift  upon  the  moft  pra(3:ical  truths. 
And  accordingly  did  {o  :  Making  a  further  improve- 
ment of  the  palliige  of  fcripture  I  difcourfed  upon 
jn  the  former  part  of  the  day. 

There  appeared  to  be  a  powerful  divine  influence 
in  the  congregation.  Sundry  that  I  have  realbn  to 
think  are  truly  pious,  were  fo  deeply  affecfted  with  a 
fenfe  of  their  own  barrennefs,  and  their  unworthy 
treatment  of  the  bleffed  Redeemer,  that  they  /oohd 
on  him  as  pierced  hy  themfelves,  and  mou?'/ied,  yea 
fome  of  them  were  in  bitter?jej's  as  for  ajirjl  born. 
Some  poor  awakened  finners  alfo  appeared  to  be  in 
anguilh  of  foul  to  obtain  an  intereil  in  Chrilf.  So 
that  there  was  a  great  mourning  in  the  affembly  ; 
Many  heavy  groans,  fobs  and  tears  !  And  one  or 
two  perfons  newly  come  among  us,  were  confidera- 
bly  awakened. 

Methinks  it  would  have  refrefhed  the  heart  of  any 
who  truly  love  Zion's  intereft,  to  have  been  in  the 
midfl  of  this  divine  influence,  and  feen  the  efR:cls  of 
it  upon  faints  and  finners.  The  place  of  divine  wor- 
fliip  appeared  both  iblemn  and  fweet  !  And  was  fo 
endeared  by  a  difplay  of  the  divine  prefence  and 
grace,  that  thofe  who  had  any  relifh  of  divine 
things,  could  not  but  cry,  How  amiable  arc  thy  tab- 
ernacles^ O  Lord  of  Ho /Is  ! 

After  publick  worlhip  was  over,  numbers  came 
to  my  houfe,  where  we  fang  and  difcourfed  of  di- 
vine things  J  and  the  prefence  of  God  leemed  here 
alfo  to  be  in  the  midft  of  us. 

While  we  were  finging  there  was  one  woman, 
who,  I  may  venture  to  fay,  if  1  may  be  allowed  to 
fay  fo  much  of  any  perfon  I  ever  faw,  was  filled 
with  joy  unfpcaJiable  and  full  of  glory,  and  could  not 
but.  burft  forth  in  prayer  and  praifes  to  God  before 
us  all,  with  many  tears,  crying,  Ibmetimes  in  En- 
glifh  and  fometimcs  in  Indian,  O  blvfled  Lord,  do 

come, 


48       DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

come,  do  come  !  O  do  take  me  away,  do  let  me  die 
and  go  to  Jefus  Chrift  !  lam  afraid  if  I  live  1  Oiall 
iin  again  !  O  do  let  me  die  now  !  O  dear  Jefus,  do 
come  !  I  cannot  ilay,  I  cannot  ftay  !  O  how  can  I 
live  in  this  world  !  Do  take  my  foul  away  from  this 
linful  place  !  O  let  me  never  fin  anymore  !  O  what 
ihall  I  do,  what  fliall  I  do  !  Dear  Jefus,  O  dear  Je- 
fus, &c.  In  this  ecftafy  fhe  continued  fome  time, 
littering  thefe  and  fuch  like  expreflions  inceffantly. 
And  the  grand  argument  fhe  ufed  with  God  to  take 
her  away  immediately,  was,  that  if  fhe  lived  Ihe 
ihould  fin  againfl  him. 

When  file  had  a  little  recovered  herfelf,  I  afked 
her,  if  Chriil  was  not  now  fweet  to  her  foul :  Where- 
upon, turning  to  me  with  tears  in  her  eyes,  and  with 
all  the  tokens  of  deep  humility  I  ever  faw  in  any  per- 
fon,  fhe  faid,  I  have  many  times  heard  you  fpeak  of 
the  goodnefs  and  the  fweetnefs  of  Chrift,  that  he 
was  better  than  all  the  world.  But  O  !  1  knew  noth- 
ing what  you  meant,  I  never  believed  you  !  I  never 
believed  5^ou;  but  now  I  know  it  is  true.  Or  words 
to  that  effed:.  I  anfwered,  And  do  you  fee  enough 
in  Chrifl  for  the  greateftof  finners  ?  She  replied,  O, 
enough,  enough  for  all  the  finners  in  the  world  if 
they  would  but  come.  And  when  I  afls.ed  her,  if 
Ihe  could  not  tell  them  of  the  goodnefs  of  Chriil  ; 
turning  herfelf  about  to  fome  poor  chriftlefs  feuls 
■who  ftood  by,  and  were  much  affedted,  fhe  faid,  O, 
there  is  enough  in  Chrifl  for  you,  if  you  would  but 
come  !  O  ftrive,  llrive  to  give  up  your  hearts  to  him , 
&c.  And  upon  hearing  fomething  of  the  glory  of 
heaven  mentioned,  that  there  was  no  fin  in  that 
■world,  &c.  fhe  again  fell  into  the  fame  ecftafy  of 
joy,  and  defire  of  Chrift*s  coming  ;  repeating  her 
former  exprellions,  O  dear  Lord,  do  let  me  go  !  O 
"what  Ihall  I  do,  what  Ihall  I  do  !  I  want  to  go  to 
Chrifl !  I  cannot  live !  O  do  let  me  die,  &c. 

She 


Among   the  INDIANS.  49 

She  continued  in  this  fweet  frame  for  more  than 
two  hours,  before  (he  was  well  able  to  get  home. 

I  am  very  fen fible  there  may  be  great  joys,  arifing 
even  to  an  ecftafy,  where  there  is  ifill  no  fubftantial 
evidence  of  their  being  well  grounded.  But  in  the 
prefent  cafe  there  feemed  to  be  no  evidence  wanting 
in  order  to  prove  this  joy  to  be  divine,  either  in  re- 
gard of  its  preparatives,  attendants,  or  confequents. 

Of  all  the  perfons  I  have  feen  under  fpiritual  ex- 
ercife,  I  fcarce  ever  faw  one  appear  more  bowed  and 
broken  under  convidions  of  fin  and  mifery,  (or 
what  is  ufually  called  a  preparatory  work,)  thart'this 
woman.  Nor  fcarce  any  who  feemed  to  have  a 
greater  acquaintance  with  her  own  heart  than  (he 
had.  She  would  frequently  complain  to  me  of  the 
hardnefs  and  rebellion  of  her  heart.  Would  tell  me 
her  heart  rofe  and  quarrelled  with  God,  when  fhe 
thought  he  would  do  with  her  as  he  pleafed,  and 
fend  her  to  hell,  notwithftanfling  her  prayers,  good 
frames,  &c.  That  her  heart  was  not  willing  to  come 
to  Chrifl  for  falvation,  but  tried  every  where  elfe 
for  help. 

And  as  (he  feemed  to  be  remarkably  fenfible  of 
her  ftubbornnefs  and  contrariety  to  God,  under  con- 
vi<5tion,  fo  Ihe  appeared  to  be  no  lefs  remarkably 
bowed  and  reconciled  to  divine  fovereignty  before 
fhe  obtained  any  reliefer  comfort.  Something  of 
which  I  have  before  noticed  in  my  Journal  of  Febru- 
ary 9.  Since  which  time  flie  has  leemed  conifantly 
to  breath  the  fpirit  and  temper  of  the  new  creature  ; 
crying  after  Chrifl:,  not  through  fear  of  hell  as  be- 
fore, but  with  flrong  defires  after  him  as  her  only 
fatisfying  portion.  And  has  many  timc.'^  wept  and 
fobbed  bitterly,  becaufe  (as  (lie  apprehended)  Ihe  did 
not  and  could  not  love  him.  When  I  have  fometimes 
aflved  her,  why  Ihe  appeared  fo  forrowful,  and 
whether  it  was  becaufe  flic  was  afraid  of  hell  ;  flie 

would 


so     D  I  V  I  N  E  G  R  A  C  E  displayed 

would  anfwcr,  No,  I  ben't  diflreffed  about  that  j  but 
my  heart  is  Co  wicked  I  cannot  love  Chrifl:  ;  and 
thereupon  burft  out  into  tears.  But  although  this 
has  been  the  habitual  frame  of  her  mind  for  feveral 
weeks  together,  fo  that  the  exercife  of  grace  appear- 
ed evident  to  others,  yet  fhe  feemed  wholly  infenfi- 
ble  of  it  herfelf,  and  never  had  any  remarkable  com- 
fort, and  fenfible  fatisfadtion  until  this  evening. 

This  fweet  and  furprifing  ecftafy,  appeared  to 
fpring  from  a  true  fpiritual  difcovcry  of  the  glory, 
ravifhing  beauty  and  excellency  of  Chrifl:  :  And  not 
from  any  grofs  imaginary  notions  of  his  human  na- 
ture ;  fuch  as  that  of  feeing  him  in  fuch  a  place  or 
pofture,  as  hanging  on  the  crofs,  as  bleeding,  dying, 
as  gently  fmiling,  and  the  like  ;  which  delufions 
fome  have  been  carried  away  with.  Nor  did  it  rife 
from  a  fordid  felfifh  apprehenlion  of  her  having  any 
benefit  whatfoever  conferred  on  her,  but  from  a 
view  of  his  pcrfonal  excellency,  and  tranfcendent 
lovelinefs,  which  drew  forth  thofe  vehement  defires 
of  enjoying  him  fhe  now  manifefled,  and  made  her 
long  io  be  abfent  from  the  body,  that  flje  tnight  be  pre f- 
ent  with  the  Lord. 

The  attendants  of  this  ravifliing  comfort,  were 
fuch  as  abundantly  difcovered  its  Ipring  to  be  di- 
vine, and  that  it  was  truly  a  joy  in  the  Holy  Ghoji. 
Now  fhe  viewed  divine  truths  as  living  realities  ; 
and  could  fay,  I  know  thefe  thing  are  fo,  I  feel  they. 
are  true  !  Now  her  foul  was  refigned  to  the  divine 
will  in  the  mofl  tender  points  ;  fo  that  when  I  faid 
to  her.  What  if  God  fliould  take  away  )^our*  huf- 
band  from  you,  (who  was  then  very  fick)  how  do 
you  think  you  could  bear  that  ?  She  replied,  He  be- 
longs to  God,  and  not  me;  he  may  do  with  him  juft 
what  he  pleafes  !  Now  fhe  had  the  mofl  tender  fenfe 
of  the  evil  of  fin,  and  difcovered  the  utmofl  aver/ion 

to 

*  The  n:aj:  part;cukr)y  mentioned  iu  my  J'..n;;nal  of  January  19. 


Among  -the   INDIANS.  ^I 

to  it  ;  longing  to  die  that  flie  might  be  delivered 
from  it.  Now  fhe  could  freely  truft  her  all  with 
God  for  time  and  eternity.  And  when  I  queried 
with  her,  how  fhe  could  be  willing  to  die  and  leave 
her  little  infant,  and  what  fhe  thought  would  become 
of  it  in  cafe  fhe  fliould  ;  fhe  anfwered,  God  will 
take  care  of  it.  It  belongs  to  him,  he  will  take  care 
of  it. 

Now  fhe  appeared  to  have  the  moft  humbling 
fenfe  of  her  own  meannefs  and  unworthinefs,  her 
weaknefs  and  inability  to  preferve  herfelf  from  fin, 
and  to  perfevere  in  the  way  of  holinefs,  crying,  If  I 
live  I  fliall  fin.  And  I  then  thought  I  had  never  feen 
fucb  an  appearance  of  ecflafy  and  humility  meeting 
in  any  one  perfon  in  all  my  life  before. 

The  conlequents  of  this  joy  are  no  lefs  defirable 
and  Satisfactory  than  its  attendants.  She  lince  ap- 
pears to  be  a  moft  tender,  broken  hearted,  affedion- 
ate,  devout,  and  humble  chriftian,  as  exemplary  in 
life  and  converfation  as  any  perfon  in  my  congrega- 
tion. May  fhe  ftill  grow  in  grace  and  in  the  knoirl- 
edge  ofChriJi, 

March  10. — Toward  night  the  Indians  "met  to- 
gether of  their  own  accord  and  fang,  prayed,  and 
difcourfed  of  divine  things  among  themfelves.  At 
which  time  there  was  much  affe^flion  among  them. 
Some,  who  are  hopefully  gracious,  appeared  to  be 
melted  with  divine  things.  And  (bme  others  feem- 
ed  much  concerned  for  their  fouls.  Perceiving  their 
engagement,  and  affed:ion  in  religious  exercifes,  I 
went  among  them,  and  prayed  and  gave  a  worxi  of 
exhortation  ;  and  obferved  two  or  three  fomewhat 
affedted  and  concerned,  who  fcarce  ever  appeared  to 
be  under  any  religious  imprefTions  before.  \i  feem- 
ed  to  be  a  day  and  evening  of  divine  power.  Num- 
bers retained  the  warm.  im.prefFions  of  divine  thtngs 
that  had  been  made  upon  their  minds  the  day  before, 

March 


53      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

March  :/\.. — Was  vifited  by  a  confiderable  number 
of  my  people,  and  fpent  fome  time  in  religious  ex- 
ercifes  with  them. 

March  24. — Numbered  the  Indians,  to  fee  how 
many  fouls  God  had  gathered  together  here,  fmce 
my  coming  into  thefe  parts,  and  found  there  was 
now  about  an  hundred  and  thirty  perfons  together, 
old  and  young.  Sundry  of  thofe  that  are  my  flated 
hearers,  perhaps  to  the  number  of  fifteen  or  twenty, 
were  abfent  at  this  feafon.  So  that  if  all  had  been 
together,  the  number  would  now  have  been  very 
confiderable ;  efpecially  confidering  how  few  were 
together  at  my  firft  coming  into  thefe  parts,  the 
whole  number  not  amounting  to  ten  perfons  at  that 
time. 

My  people  going  out  this  day  upon  the  defign  of 
clearing  fome  of  their  lands  above  fifteen  miles  dif- 
taht  from  this  fettlement,  in  order  to  their  fettling 
there  in  a  compa<^t  form,  where  they  might  be  un- 
der advantages  of  attending  the  publick  worfhip  of 
God,  of  having  their  children  fchooled,  and  at  the 
fame  time  have  a  conveniency  for  planting,  &c. 
their  land  in  the  place  of  our  prefent  refidence  be- 
ing of  little  or  no  value  for  that  purpofe.  And  the 
defign  of  their  fettling  thus  in  a  body,  and  cultivat- 
ing their  lands,  (which  they  have  done  very  little  at 
in  their  pagan  flate)  being  of  fuch  necefiity  and  im- 
portance to  their  religious  interefl,  as  well  as  world- 
ly comfort,  I  though.t  it  proper  to  call  them  togeth- 
er, and  fliew  them  the  duty  of  labouring  with  faith- 
fulnefs  and  induftry  ;  and  that  they  mufl  not  nov/ 
be  Jlothful  in  biifinefs^  as  they  had  ever  been,  in  their 
pagan  flate.  And  endeavoured  to  prefs  the  impor- 
tance of  their  being  laborious,  diligent  and  vigorous 
in  the  profecution  of  their  bufinefs,  efpecially  at  the 
prefent  juncfture,  (the  feafon  of  planting  being  now 
near)  in  order  to  their  being  in  a  capacity  of  living 

together, 


Among  the  INDIANS.  53 

together,  and  enjoying  the  means  of  grace  and  in- 
flruition.  And  having  given  them  directions  for 
their  work  (which  they  very  much  wanted)  as  well 
as  for  their  behaviour  in  divers  refpeds,  I  explained, 
fang,  and  endeavoured  to  inculcate  upon  them., 
Pfalm  cxxviith,  common  metre,  Dr.  Watts's  ver- 
fion.  And  having  recommended  them,  and  the  de- 
iign  of  their  going  forth,  to  God,  by  prayer  with 
them,  I  difmilTed  them  to  their  bufinefs. 

In  the  evening  read  and  expounded  to  my  people, 
(thofe  of   them   who  were  yet  at   home,    and  the 
ftrangers  newly  come,)   the  fubftance  of  the  third 
chapter  of  the  Ad:s.     Numbers  feemed  to  m.elt  un- 
der the  word,  efpeciaily  while  I  was  difcourfing  up- 
on verfe  19.     Sundry  of  the  llrangers  alfo  were  af- 
fedled.     When  I  afked  them   afterwards,  whether 
they  did  not  now  feel  that  their  hearts  were  wicked, 
as  1  had  taught  them  ;  one  replied,  Yes,  flie  felt  it 
now.     Although  before  the  came  here  (upon  hear- 
ing that  I  taught  the  Indians  their  hearts  were  all 
bad  by  nature,  and  needed  to  be  changed  and  made 
good  by  the  power  of  God)  fhe  had  faid,  her  heart 
was  not  wicked,  and  fhe  never  had  done  any  thing 
that  was  bad  in  her  life.     And  this  indeed  feems  to 
be  the  cafe  with  them,  I  think  univerfally,  in  their 
pagan  ftate. 

They  feem  to  have  no  confcioufnefs  of  fin  and 
guilt,  unlefs  they  can  charge  themielves  with  fome 
grofs  a6ls  of  lin  contrary  to  the  commands  of  the 
i'econd  table. 

March  29. — In  the  evening  catechifed  as  ufual 
upon  Saturday.  Treated  upon  the  benefits  which 
believers  receive  from  Chrifi  at  death .  The  queflions 
were  anfwered  with  great  re'adinefs  and  propriety. 
And  thole  who  I  have  reafon  to  think,  are  the  dear 
people  of  God,  were  fweetly  melted  almoll  in  gen- 
eral.    There  appeared  fuch  a  livelinefs  and  vigour 

in 


^4     DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

in  their  attendance  upon  the  word  of  God,  and  fuch 
eagernefs  to  be  made  partakers  of  the  benefits  thert 
mentioned,  that  they  feemed  to  be  not  only  looking 
for^  but  hajiening  to  the  coming  of  the  day  of  God.  Di- 
vine truths  feemed  to  diftil  upon  the  audience  with 
a  gentle,  but  melting  efficacy,  as  the  refrefhing 
fliowers  upon  the  new  mown  grafs.  The  affembly 
in  general,  as  well  as  thofe  who  appear  truly  relig- 
ious, were  affedted  with  fome  brief  account  of  the 
bleflednefs  of  the  godly  at  death  :  And  moft  then 
difcovered  an  affed:ionate  inclination  to  cry,  hct  me 
die  the  death  of  the  righteous^  &c.  Although  many 
were  not  duly  engaged  toi  obtain  the  change  of  heart 
that  is  neceffary  in  order  to  that  bleffed  end. 

March  31. — Called  my  people  together,  as  I  had 
done  the  Monday  morning  before,  and  difcourfed 
to  them  again  on  the  neceflity  and  importance  of 
their  labouring  induftrioufly,  in  order  to  their  living 
together  and  enjoying  the  means  of  grace,  &c.  And 
having  engaged  in  folemn  prayer  to  God  among 
them,  for  a  blefling  upon  their  attempts,  Idifmiffed 
them  to  their  work. 

Numbers  of  them,  both  men  and  women,  feemed 
to  offer  themfelves  willingly  to  this  fervice  j  and 
fome  appeared  affedlionately  concerned  that  God 
might  go  with  them,  and  begin  their  little  town  for 
them  ;  that  by  his  bleffing  it  might  be  a  place  com- 
fortable for  them  and  theirs,  in  regard  both  of  pro- 
curing the  necelTaries  of  life,  and  of  attending  the 
worfhip  of  God. 

After  publick  worfliip,  a  number  of  thofe  I  have 
reafon  to  think  are  truly  religious,  came  to  my  houfe 
and  feemed  eager  of  fome  further  entertainment 
upon  divine  things.  And  while  I  was  converfing 
with  them  about  their  fpiritual  exercii'es,  obferving 
to  them,  that  God's  work  in  the  hearts  of  all  his  chil- 
dren, was,  for  fubftance,  the  fame  %  and  that  their 

trials 


Among  the  INDIANS.  $^ 

trials  and  temptations  were  alfo  alike  ;  and  fliew- 
ing  the  obligations  fuch  were  under  to  love  one 
another  in  a  peculiar  manner,  they  fcemed  to 
be  melted  into  tendernefs  and  affection  to- 
ward each  other  :  And  I  thought  that  particular 
token  of  their  being  the  difciples  of  Chrift, 
viz.  of  their  having  love  one  toward  another^ 
had  fcarce  ever  appeared  more  evident  than  at  this 
time. 

April  25. — Having  of  late  apprehended  that  a 
number  of  perfons  in  my  congregation,  were  prop- 
er fubjedis  of  the   ordinance  of  the  Lord's  fupper, 
and  that  it  might  be  feafonable  fpeedily  to  adminif- 
ter  it  to  them  :  And  having  taken  advice  of  fome  of 
the  reverend  Correfpondents  in  this  folemn  affair;  and 
accordingly  having  propofed  and  appointed  the  next 
Lord*s  Day,  with   the  leave  of  Divine  Providence, 
for  the  adminiftrationof  this  ordinance,  this  day,  as 
preparatory  thereto,  was  fet  apart  for  folemn  fafting 
and  prayer,  to  implore  the  bleffing  of  God  upon  our 
deiign  of  renewing  covenant  with  him,  and  with 
one  another,  to  walk  together  in  the  fear  of  God,  in 
love  and  chriftian  fellowfhip  ;  and  to  entreat  that 
his  divine  prefence  might  be  with  us  in  ourdefigned 
approach  to  his  table  ;  as  well  as  to  humble  our- 
felves  before  God  on  account  of  the  apparent  with- 
drawment,  (at  leaft  in  a  mcafure,)  of  that  bleffed  in- 
fluence that  has  been  fo  prevalent  upon  perfons  of 
all  ages  among  us  :  As  alfo  on  account  of  the  rifing 
appearance  of  careleflnefs,  vanity  and  vice  among 
fome,  who,  fometime  fince,  appeared  to  be  touched 
and  affed:ed  with  divine  truths,  and  brought  to  fome 
fcnfibility  of  their  miferable  and  perifliing  ftate  by 
nature.     And  that  wc  might  alfo  importunately  pray 
for  the  peaceable  fettlement  of  the  Indians  together 
in  a  body,  that  they  might  be  a  commodious  con- 
gregation for  the  worfhip  of  God  ;  and  that  God 
B  b  would 


56      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

would  blaft  and  defeat  all  the  attempts  that  were  or 
might  be  made  agamft  that  pious  dcfign*. 

The  folemnity  was  obferved  and  ferioufly  attend- 
ed, not  only  by  thofewho  propofed  to  communicate 
at  the  Lord's  table,  but  by  the  whole  congregation 
univerfally.  In  the  former  part  of  the  day,  I  en- 
deavoured to  open  to  my  people  the  nature  and  de- 
fign  of  a  faft,  as  I  had  attempted  more  briefly  to  do 
before,  and  to  inftrudt  them  in  the  duties  of  fuch  a 
folemnity.  In  the  afternoon,  I  infifted  upon  the 
fpecial  reafons  there  were  for  our  engaging  in  thefe 
folemn  exercifes  at  this  time  ;  both  in  regard  of  the 
reed  we  flood  in  of  divine  affiftance,  in  order  to  a 
due  preparation  for  that  facred  ordinance  we  were 
fomeofus  propofing  (with  the  leave  of  Divine  Prov- 
idence) fpeedily  to  attend  upon  :  And  alfo  in  refpe(5t 
of  the  manifefl  decline  of  God's  work  here,  as  to 
the  effectual  conviction  and  converfion  of  finners, 
there  having  been  few  of  late  deeply  awakened  out 
of  a  ftate  of  fecurity. 

The  worfhip  of  God  was  attended  with  great  fo- 
lemnity and  reverence,  with  much  tendernefs  and 
many  tears,  by  thofe  who  appear  to  be  truly  relig- 
ious :  And  there  was  fome  appearance  of  divine 
power  upon  thofe  who  had  been  awakened  fome 
time  before,  and  who  were  flill  under  concern. 

After  repeated  prayer  and  attendance  upon  the 
word  of  God,  I  propofed  to  the  religious  people, 
with  as  much  brevity  and  plainnefs  as  I  could,  the 
fubftance  of  the  do(5trine  of  the  chriftian  faith,  as  I 
had  formerly  done,  previous  to  their  baptifm,  and 
had  their  renewed  cheerful  aflent  to  it.     I  then  led 

them 

*  There  being  at  this  time  a  terrible  clamour  raifed  againft  the  Indians  in  various 
places  in  the  country,  and  infinuations  as  though  I  was  training  •Juni  up  to  cut  peo- 
ple's throats.  Numbers  wifhing  to  have  them  banilhed  out  of  thefe  parts,  and  fome 
giving  out  gieat  words  m  order  to  fright  and  deter  tlieni  from  fettling  upon  the  bcfl 
and  moil  convenient  iraft  of  their  own  lands,  threatening  to  molclt  and  trouble 
them  in  the  law,  pretending  a  datra  to  thefc  lands  thcrafclvcs,  although  never  pur- 
chafed  of  the  Indians. 


Among  the  INDIANS.  57 

them  to  a  folemh  renewal  of  their  baptifmal  cove- 
nant, wherein  they  had  explicitly  and  publickly 
given  up  themfelves  to  God,  the  Father,  Son  and 
Holy  Ghoft,  avouching  him  to  be  their  God  ;  and 
at  the  fame  time  renouncing  their  heathenifh  vani- 
ties, their  idolatrous  and  fuperftitious  practices,  and 
folemnly  engaging  to  take  the  word  of  God,  fo  far 
as  it  was,  or  might  be  made  known  to  them,  for  the 
rule  of  their  lives,  promifing  to  walk  together  in 
love,  to  watch  over  themfelves,  and  one  another;  to 
lead  lives  of  ferioufnefs  and  devotion,  and  to  dif- 
charge  the  relative  duties  incumbent  upon  them  re- 
fpediively,  &c. 

This  Iblemn  tranfa(flion  was  attended  with  much 
gravity  and  ferioufnefs  :  And  at  the  fame  time  with 
utmoft  roadinefs,  freedom,  and  cheerfulnefs  ;  and  a 
religious  union  and  harmony  of  foul,  feemed  to 
crown  the  whole  folemnity*  I  coujd  not  but  think 
in  the  evening,  that  there  had  been  manifeft  tokens 
of  the  divine  prefcnce  with,  us  in  all  the  feveral  fer- 
viccs  of  the  day  ;  though  it  was  alfo  m.anifeft  there 
was  not  that  concern  among  chriftlefs  fouls  that  has 
often  appeared  here. 

April  26. — Toward  noon  prayed  with  a  dying 
child,  and  gave  a  word  of  exhortation  tothebyftand- 
ers  to  prepare  for  death,  which  feemed  to  take  effect 
upon  fome. 

In  the  afternoon  difcourfed  to  my  people  from 
Matth.  xxvi.  26. — 30.  of  the  author,  the  nature 
and  defign  of  the  Lord's  fupper ;  and  endeavoured 
to  point  out  the  worthy  receivers  of  that  ordinance. 

The  religious  people  were  affected  and  even  melt- 
ed with  divine  truths,  with  a  view  of  the  dying  love 
ofChrift.  Sundry  others  who  had  been  for  fome 
months  under  convidiions  of  their  perifliing  ftatc 
appeared  now  to  be  much  moved  with  concern,  and 
afrefh  engaged  in  feeking  after  an  intereft  in  Chrifti 
B  b  :2  although 


58      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

although  I  cannot  fay  the  word  of  God  appeared  fo 
quick  and  powerful,  fo  fharp  and  piercing  to  the  af- 
fembly,  as  it  had  fometimes  formerly  done. 

Lord's  Day,  y^/)r// 27.— Preached  from  Tit.  ii.  14. 
Wh'ogave  himfelf  for  us,  &c.  The  word  of  God  at 
this  time  was  attended  with  fome  appearance  of  di- 
vine power  upon  the  alTembly  j  fo  that  the  attention 
and  gravity  of  the  audience  was  remarkable  ;  and 
efpecially  towards  the  conclufion  of  the  exercife,  di- 
vers perfons  were  much  afFedled. 

Adminiftered  the  facrament  of  the  Lord's  fupper 
to  twenty  three  perfons  of  the  Indians,  (the  number 
of  men  and  women  being  nearly  equal )  divers  others, 
to  the  number  of  five  or  fix,  being  now  abfent  at  the 
Forks  of  Delaware,  who  would  otherwife  have  com- 
municated with  us. 

The  ordinance  was  attended  with  great  folemnity, 
and  with  a  moil  defirable  tendernefs  and  affedlion. 
And  it  was  remarkable  that  in  the  feafon  of  the  per- 
formance of  the  facramental  a(5lions,  efpecially  in 
the  diftribution  of  the  bread,  they  feemed  to  be  af- 
fedled  in  a  moft  lively  manner,  as  if  Chrifi:  had  been 
really  crucified  before  them.  And  the  words  of  the 
inftitution  when  repeated  and  enlarged  upon  in  the 
feafon  of  the  adminiftration,  feemed  to  meet  with 
the  fame  reception,  to  be  entertained  with  the  fame 
full  and  firm  belief  and  aflFed:ionate  engagement  of 
foul,  as  if  the  Lord  Jefus  Chrift  himfelf  had  been 
prefent,  and  had  perlonally  fpoken  to  them. 

The  aflPcdiions  of  the  communicants,  although 
confiderably  raifed,  were  notwithflandingagreeably 
regulated,  and  kept  within  proper  bounds.  So  that 
there  was  a  fweet,  gentle  and  affectionate  melting, 
vi^ithout  any  indecent  or  boifterous  commotion  of  the 
paffions. 

Having  refi:ed  fome  time  after  the  adminiftration 
of  the  facrament,  (being  extremely  tired  with  the 

ncccifary 


Among   the   INDIANS,  59 

neccfTary  prolixity  of  the  work,)  I  walked  from 
houfe  to  houfe,  and  converfed  particularly  with  moft 
of  the  communicants,  and  found  they  had  been  al- 
moft  univerfally  refrelhed  at  the  Lord's  table,  as 
with  new  wine.  And  never  did  I  fee  fuch  an  ap- 
pearance of  chriftian  love  among  any  people  in  all 
my  life.  It  was  fo  remarkable,  that  one  might  well 
have  cried  with  an  agreeable  furprife.  Behold  how 
they  love  one  another  !  I  think  there  could  be  no 
greater  tokens  of  mutual  afFediion  among  the  people 
of  God  in  the  early  days  of  chriftianity,  than  what 
now  appeared  here.  The  fight  was  fo  defirable,  and 
fo  well  becoming  the  gofpel,  that  nothing  lefs 
could  be  faid  of  it,  than  that  it  was  the  doing  of 
the  Lordt  the  genuine  operations  of  him  who  is 
love  ! 

Toward  night  difeourfed  again  on  the  foremen- 
tioned  Titfii.  14.  and  infifted  on  the  immediate  end 
and  defign  of  Chrift's  death,  viz.  ^hat  be  might  re- 
deem his  people  from  all  iniquity  ^  &c. 

This  appeared  to  be  a  feafon  of  divine  power 
among  us.  The  religious  people  were  much  re- 
frefhed,  and  feemed  remarkably  tender  and  affedtion- 
ate,  full  of  love,  joy,  peace,  and  defires  of  being  com- 
pletely redeemed  from  all  iniquity  ;  fo  that  ibme  of 
them  afterwards  told  me,  they  had  never  felt  the 
like  before.  Convidtions  alfo  appeared  to  be  reviv- 
ed in  many  infiances ;  and  divers  perfons  were  awak- 
ened whom  I  had  never  obferved  under  any  religious 
impreflions  before. 

Such  was  the  influence  that  attended  our  aflcmbly, 
and  fo  unfpeakably  defirable  the  frame  of  mind  that 
many  enjoyed  in  the  divine  fervice,  that  it  feemed  al- 
mofi:  grievous  to  conclude  the  publick  worlhip.  And 
the  congregation,  when  difmifled,  although  it  was 
then  almoll  dark,  appeared  loth  to  leaVe  the  place 
and  employments  that  had  been  rendered  (o  dear  to 

B  b  3  them 


6o     D  I  V  I  N  E  G  R  A  C  E  displayed 

them  by  the  benefits  enjoyed,  while  ablefled  quick- 
ening  influence  diftilled  upon  them. 

And  upon  the  whole,  I  muft  fay,  I  had  great  fat- 
isfacSion  with  relation  to  the  adminiftration  of  this 
ordinance  in  divers  refpedts.  I  have  abundant  rea- 
fon  to  think,  that  thofe  who  came  to  the  Lord's  ta- 
ble, had  a  good  degree  of  dodlrinal  knbwi^ge  of 
the  nature  and  defign  of  the  ordinance  ;  and  that 
they  ad:ed  underftandingly  in  what  they  did. 

In  the  preparatory  fervices  1  found  (1  may  juftly 
fay)  uncommon  freedom  in  opening  to  their  under- 
ftandings  and  capacities,  the  covenant  of  grace,  and 
,in  fhewing  them  the  nature  of  this  ordinance  as  a 
feal  of  that  covenant  :  Although  many  of  them 
knew  of  no  fuch  thing  as  a  feal  before  my  coming 
among  them,  or  at  leafl:  of  the  uCe  and  defign  of  it 
in  the  common  affairs  of  life.  They  were  likewife 
thoroughly  fenfible  that  it  was  no  more4han  a  feal 
or  fign,  and  not  the  real  body  and  blood  of  Chrill. 
That  it  was  defigned  for  the  refreflimentand  edifica- 
tion of  the  foul,  and  not  for  the  feafling  of  the  body. 
They  were  alfo  acquainted  with  the  end  of  the  ordi- 
nance, that  they  were  therein  called  to  commemo- 
rate the  dying  love  of  Chrifl,  &c. 

And  this  competency  of  dod:rinal  knowledge,  to- 
gether with  their  grave  and  decent  attendance  upon 
the  ordinance  j  their  affectionate  melting  under  it  ; 
and  the  fweet  and  chriflian  frame  of  mind  they  dif- 
covered  confequent  upon  it,  gave  me  great  ftitisfac- 
tion  refpecSUng  my  adminiftration  of  it  to  them. 

And  O  what  a  fweet  and  blefTed  feafon  was  this  1 
God  himfelf,  I  am  perfuaded,  was  in  the  midfl  of 
his  people,  attending  his  own  ordinances  :  And  I 
doubt  not  but  many,  in  the  conclufion  of  the  day, 
could  fay  with  their  whole  hearts,  Verify,  a  d^^y  thus 
/pent  in  God's  hoiife^  is  better  than  a  thoiifand  elfe- 
where.    There  feemed.  to  be  but  one  heart  among 

the 


Among   the  INDIANS.  6i 

the  pious  people  !  The  fvveet  union,  harmony,  and 
endearing  love  and  tendernefs  fubfifting among  them, 
was,  I  thought,  the  mofl  lively  emblem  of  the  heav- 
enly world,  I  had  ever  feen. 

April  2^. — Concluded  the  facramental  folemnity 
with  a  difcourfe  upon  John  xiv.  15.  If  ye  love  mcy 
keep  my  commandments.  At  which  time  there  ap- 
peared a  very  agreeable  tendernefs  in  the  audience  in 
general,  but  efpecially  in  the  communicants.  O 
how  free,  how  engaged  and  afFcd:ionate  did  thefe 
appear  in  the  fervice  of  God  :  They  feemed  willing 
to  have  their  ears  bored  to  the  door  pojls  of  God*  s  boufe^ 
and  to  be  his  fervants  forever. 

Obferving  numbers  in   this  excellent  frame,  and 
the  affembly  in  general  affedled,  and  that  by  a  divine 
influence,  I  thought  it  proper  to  improve  this  advan- 
tageous feafon,  as  Hezekiah  did  the  delirable  feafon 
of  his  great  palfover,  2  Chron  xxxi.  in  order  to  pro- 
mote thebleffed  reformation  begun  amongthem  ;  and 
to  engage  thofe  that  appeared  ferious  and  religious, 
to  perfevere  therein  ;  and  accordingly  propofed   to 
them,  that  they  fhould  renevvcdly  enter  into  cove- 
nant before  God,  that  they  would  watch  over  them- 
felves  and  one  another,   left  they  flioiild  diflionour 
the  name  of  Chrift  by  falling  into  finful  and  unbe- 
coming pracfllces.     And  efpecially  that  they  would 
watch  againft  the  fin  of  drunkcnnefs,  thp  fin  that  ca- 
Jily  befets  them^  and  the  temptations  leading  thereto  ; 
as  well  as  the  appearance  of  evil   in   that   rcfpedl. 
They  cheerfully  complied  with  the  propofal,  and 
explicitly  joined   in  that  covenant.     Whereupon  I 
proceeded  in  the  moft  folemn  manner  I  was  capable 
of,  to  call  God  to  witnefs  refpedting  their  facred  en- 
gagement ;  and  minded  them  of  the  grcatnefs  of  the 
guilt  they  would  contradl  to  themfelves  in  the  viola- 
tion of  it ;  as   well  as  obierved   to  them,   that   God 
would  be  a  terrible  witnefs  againft  thofe  who  fliould 
B  b4  pre  fume 


62      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed 

pre  fume  to  do  fo,  in  the  great  and  notable  day  of  the 
Lord. 

It  was  a  feafon  of  amazing  folemnity  !  And  a 
divine  awe  appeared  upon  the  face  of  the  whole  af- 
femblyin  this  tranfacflion  !  AfiPediionate  fobs,  iighs 
and  tears  were  now  frequent  in  the  audience  :  And 
I  doubt  not  but  that  many  filent  cries  were  then  fent 
up  to  the  Fountain  of  grace,  for  fupphes  of  grace  fuffi- 
cientfor  the  fulfilment  of  theie  folemn  engagements. 

Baptized  fix  children  this  day. 

Lord*s  Day,  May  4. — My  people  being  now  re- 
moved to  their  lands,  mentioned  in  my  Journal  of 
March  24,  where  they  were  then,  and  have  fince 
been  making  provifion  for  a  compadl  fettlement,  in 
order  to  their  more  convenient  enjoyment  of  tke  gof- 
pel,  and  other  means  of  inftrudtion,  as  well  as  the 
comforts  of  life  :I  this  dayvifited  them  (being  now 
obliged  to  board  with  an  Englifh  family  at  fome  dif- 
tance  from  them,)  and  preached  to  them  in  the  fore- 
noon from  Markiv.  5.  Endeavoured  tofliew  them 
the  reafon  there  was  to  fear  left  many  promifing  ap- 
pearances and  hopeful  beginnings  in  religion,  might 
prove  abortive,  like  tht  feed  dropped  uponjlony  places. 

May  9. — Preached  from  John  v.  40.  in  the  open 
wildernefs  ;  the  Indians  having  as  yet  no  houfe  for 
publick  worfliipin  this  place,  nor  fcarce  any  Ihelters 
for  thernfelves.  Divine  truths  madeconfiderable  im- 
preflions  upon  the  audience,  and  it  was  a  leafon  of 
folemnity,  tendernefs,  and  affec^lion. 

May  19. — Vifited  and  preaclied  to  my  people 
from  Adls  xx.  18.  19.  And  endeavoured  to  rc6:ify 
their  notions  about  religious  affed:ions  :  Shewing 
them  on  the  one  hand,  the  defirablenefs  of  religious 
affedtion,  tendernefs  and  fervent  engagement  in  the 
worfhip  and  fervice  of  God,  when  Inch  affcdiion 
flows  from  a  true  fpiritual  difcovery  of  divine  glo- 
jries ;  from  a  juftly  affeding  fenfe  of  the  tranlccndcnt 

excellency 


Among  THE   INDIANS.  63 

excellency  and  perfedions  of  the  blelTed  God  ;  a 
view  of  the  glory  and  lovelinefs  of  the  great  Re- 
deemer :  And  that  fuch  views  of  divine  things,  will 
naturally  excite  us  ioferve  the  Lordwith  many  tears^ 
with  much  afFed:ion  and  fervency,  and  yet  with  all 
humility  of  mind.  And  on  the  other  hand,  obferv- 
ing  the  finfulnefs  of  feeking  after  high  affections  im- 
mediately, and  for  their  own  fakes,  that  is,  of  mak- 
ing them  the  obje6t  our  eye  and  heart  is  nextly  and 
principally  fet  upon,  when  the  glory  of  God  ought 
to  be  fo.  Shewed  them,  that  if  the  heart  be  direct- 
ly and  chiefly  fixed  on  God,  and  the  foul  engaged 
to  glorify  him,  fome  degree  of  religious  affediion 
will  be  the  effecfl:  and  attendant  of  it.  But  to  feek 
after  affection,  diredtly  and  chiefly  to  have  the  heart 
principally  fet  upon  that,  is  to  place  it  in  the  room 
of  God  and  his  glory.  If  it  be  fought  that  others 
may  take  notice  of  and  admire  us  for  our  fpirituality 
and  forwardnefs  in  religion,  it  is  then  abominable 
pride  :  If  for  the  fake  of  feeling  the  pleafure  of  be- 
ing affedled,  it  is  then  idolatry  and  felf  gratificatioHo 
Laboured  alfo  to  expofe  the  difagreeablenefs  of  thofe 
affedtions  that  are  fometimes  wrought  up  in  perfons 
by  the  power  of  fancy  and  their  own  attempts  for  that 
purpofe,  while  I  flill  endeavoured  to  recommend  to 
them  that  religious  affection,  fervency  and  devotion, 
which  ought  to  attend  all  our  religious  exercifes, 
and  without  which  religion  will  be  but  an  empty 
name  and  lifelefs  carcafs. 

Lord's  Day,  Ju?7e  1,  1746. — Preached  both  fore- 
noon and  afternoon  from  Matth.  xi.  27.  28.  Thepref- 
ence  of  God  feemed  to  be  in  the  aflTembly,  and  num- 
bers were  confiderably  melted  and  afi'efted  under 
divine  truths.  There  was  a  defirable  appearance 
in  the  congregation  in  general,  an  earnefl:  attention 
and  agreeable  tendernefs,  and  it  feemed  as  if  God 
(Jefigned  to  vifit  us  with  further  Ihowers  oi^  divine 

grace. 


64      DIVINE  GRACE  displayed. 

grace.  I  then  baptized  ten  perfons,  five  adults  and 
five  children,  and  was  not  a  little  refrefhed  with  this 
addition  made  to  the  church.offuchas  (I  hope)  Jha/ISe 
faved. 

June  6. — Difcourfed  to  my  people  from  part  of 
Ifaiah  liii.  The  divine  prefence  appeared  to  be 
amongftus  in  fome  meafure.  Divers  perfons  were 
much  melted  and  refrefhed ;  and  one  man  in  partic- 
ular, who  had  long  been  under  concern  for  his  foul, 
■was  now  brought  to  fee  and  feel  in  a  very  lively 
manner,  the  impofTibility  of  doing  any  thing  to  help 
himfclf,  or  to  bring  him  into  the  favour  of  God,  by 
bis  tears,  prayers  and  other  religious  performances, 
and  found  himfelf  undone  as  to  any  power  or  good- 
nefs  of  his  own,  and  that  there  was  no  way  left  him, 
but  to  leave  himfelf  with  God  to  be  difpofed  of 
as  he  pleafed. 

June  7. — Being  defired  by  the  Rev.  Mr.  William 
Tennent  to  be  his  afliftant  in  the  adminiftration  of 
the  Lord's  fupper  :  My  people  alfo  being  invited  to 
attend  the  facramental  folemnity,  they  cheerfully 
embraced  the  opportunity,  and  this  day  attended  the 
preparatory  fervices  with  me. 

Lord's  Dajfy  June  8. — Moft  of  my  people,  who 
had  been  communicants  at  the  Lord's  table  before, 
being  prefentat  this  facramental  occafion,  communi- 
cated, with  others,  in  this  holy  ordinance,  at  the 
defire,  and,  I  truft,  to  the  fatisfadion  and  comfort 
of  numbers  of  God's  people,  who  had  longed  to  fee 
this  day,  and  whofe  hearts  had  rejoiced  in  this  work 
of  grace  among  the  Indians,  which  prepared  the 
way  for  what  appeared  fo  agreeable  at  this  rime. 

June  9. — A  confiderable  number  of  my  people 
met  together  early  in  the  day,  in  a  retired  place  in 
the  woods,  and  prayed,  fang  and  converfed  of  di- 
vine things,  and  were  kew  by  fome  religious  per- 
fons of  the  white  people,  to  be  affected  and  engaged, 

and 


GENERAL    REMARKS.        65 

and  divers  of  them  in  tears  in  thefe  religious  exer- 
cifes. 

'June  19. — Vifited  my  people  with  two  of  the 
reverend  Correfpondents.  Spent  fome  time  in  con- 
verfation  with  fome  of  them  upon  fpiritual  things  ^ 
and  took  fome  care  of  their  worldly  concerns. 

This  day  makes  up  a  complete  year  from  the  firft 
time  of  my  preaching  to  thefe  Indians  in  Nevv-Jer- 
iey.  What  amazing  things  has  God  wrought  in 
this  fpace  of  time  for  thefe  poor  people  !  What  a  fur- 
prifing  change  appears  in  their  tempers  and  behavi- 
our !  How  are  morofe  and  favage  pagans,  in  this 
fhort  fpace  of  time,  transformed  into  agreeable,  af- 
fedlionate  and  humble  chriftians  !  And  their  drunk- 
en and  pagan  bowlings,  turned  into  devout  and 
fervent  prayers  and  praifes  to  God  !  They  who  were 
-fometimes  darknefs,  are  nozv  become  light  in  the  Lorio 
May  they  walk  as  children  of  the  light  and  of  the  day. 
And  now  to  him  that  is  of  power  to  Jlajbliflj  them  aC' 
cording  to  the  gofpel  and  the  preaching  of  Chriji  ;  to 
God  only  wife,  be  glory  j  through  Jefus  Chriji ,  forever 
and  ever.     Amen. 


BEFORE  I  conclude  the  prefent  Journal,  I  would 
make  a  few  general  remarks  upon  what  to  me  ap- 
pears worthy  of  notice,  relating  to  the  continued 
work  of  grace  among  my  people. 

It  is  worthy  of  remark,  thatnumbersof  thefe  peo- 
ple are  brought  to  a  flrid;  compliance  with  the  rules 
of  morality  and  Ibbricty,  and  to  a  confcientious  per- 
formance of  the  external  duties  of  chriftianity,  by  tbe 
internal  power  and  influence  of  divine  truths  (tlie 
peculiar  do6trines  of  grace)  upon  their  minds  ; 
'without  their  having  thefe  moral  duties  frequent- 
ly   repeated    and    inculcated     upon    them,     and 

the 


66        GENERAL    REMARKS. 

the  contrary  vices  particularly  expofed  and  fpoken 
againft. 

Thofedodlrines  which  had  the  moft  dired:  tenden- 
cy to  humble  the  fallen  creature ;  to  fhew  him  the 
mifery  of  his  natural  ftate  ;  to  bring  him  Mown  to 
the  footof  fovereign  mercy,  and  to  exalt  the  great  Re- 
deemer, difcoverhis  tranfcendent  excellency  and  in- 
finite precioufnefs,  and  fo  to  recommend  him  to  the 
iinner'5  acceptance,  were  the  fubjed:  matter  of  what 
WJis  delivered  in  publick  and  private  to  them,  and 
from  time  to  time  repeated  and  inculcated  upon  them. 

And  God  was  pleafed  to  give  thefe  divine  truths 
fuch  a  powerful  influence  upon  the  minds  of  thefe 
people,  and  fo  to  blefs  them  for  the  effedlual  awak- 
ening of  numbers  of  them,  that  their  lives  were 
quickly  reformed,  without  my  infifting  upon  the 
precepts  of  morality,  and  fpending  time  in  repeated 
harangues  upon  external  duties. 

When  thefe  truths  were  felt  at  heart,  there  was 
now  no  vice  unreformed  ;  no  external  duty  ncgledl- 
cd.  Drunkennefs,  the  darling  vice,  was  broken  off 
from,  and  fcarce  an  inftance  of  it  known  among  my 
hearers  for  months  together.  The  abufive  pradice 
of  hufbands  and  wives  in  putting  away  each  other, 
and  taking  others  in  their  Itead,  was  quickly  reform- 
ed :  So  that  there  are  three  or  four  couple  who  have 
voluntarily  difmiiTed  thofe  they  had  wrongfully  tak- 
en, and  now  live  together  again  in  love  and  peace. 
The  fame  might  be  faid  of  all  other  vicious  prac- 
tices. The  reformation  was  general ;  and  all  fpfing- 
ing  from  the  internal  influence  of  divine  truths 
upon  their  hearts  ;  and  not  from  any  external  re- 
flraints,  or  becaufe  they  had  heard  thefe  vices  partic- 
ularly expofed,  and  repeatedly  fpoken  againft  ;  For 
fome  of  them  I  never  fo  much  as  mentioned  ;  par- 
ticularly that  of  the  parting  of  men  and  their  wives, 
until  fome,  having  their  confcicnce  awakened  by 

God's 


GENERAL    REMARKS.        67 

GglVs  word,  came,  and  of  their  own  accord  confefT- 
ed  themfelvcs  guilty  in  that  refped:. 

And  as  all  vice  was  reformed  upon  their  feelinf^ 
the  power  of  thcfe  truths  upon  their  hearts,  fo  the 
external  duties  of  chriftianity  were  complied  with, 
and  confcientioufly  performed  from  the  fame  inter- 
nal influence  ;  family  prayer  fet  up  and  conftantly 
maintained,  unlefs  among  fome  few  more  lately 
come,  who  had  felt  little  of  this  divine  influence. 
This  duty  conftantly  performed  even  in  fome  fami- 
lies where  there  were  none  but  females,  and  fcarce  a 
prayerkls  perion  to  be  found  among  near  a  hundred 
of  them.  The  Lord's  Day  ferioufly  and  religioufly 
obfcrved,  and  care  taken  by  parents  to  keep  their 
children  orderly  upon  that  ficred  day,  &c.  And 
this,  not  becaufe  I  had  driven  them  to  the  perform- 
ance of  thefe  duties  by  a  frequent  inculcating 
of  them,  but  becaufe  they  had  felt  the  power  of 
God's  word  upon  their  hearts,  were  made  fenfible 
of  their  fin  and  mifery,  and  thence  could  not  but 
pray,  and  comply  with  every  thing  they  knew  was 
duty,  from  what  they  felt  within  themfelves. 
When  their  hearts  were  touched  with  a  fenfe  of  their 
eternal  concernments,  they  could  pray  with  great 
freedom  as  vv'ell  as  fervency,  without  being  at  the 

1  trouble  firft  to  learn  fet  forms  for  that  purpofe.  And 
fome  of  them  who  were  fuddenly  awakened  at  their 
firft  coming  among  us,  were  brought  to  pray  and 
Icry  for  mercy  with  utmofl  importunity,  without  ever 
being  intruded  in  the  duty  of  prayer,  or  (o  much 
as  once  dired:ed  to  a  performance  of  it. 

The  happy  effects  of  thefe  peculiar  dodtrines  of 
grace  which  I  have  fo  much  infixed  upon  with  this 
people,  plainly  difcover,  even  to  demonftration,  that 
inftead  of  their  opening  a  door  to  licentioufnefs  (as 
many  vainly  imagine,  and  flanderoufly  infinuatcj 
they  have  a  direcSl  contrary  tendency  :  So  that  a  cicfc; 

application. 


68        GENERAL    REMARKS. 

application,  a  fenfe  and  feeling  of  them,  will  have  the 
moft  powerful  influence  towards  the  renovation  and 
efFedtual  reformation  both  of  heart  and  life. 

A  view  of  the  blefTed  effedt  of  honeft  endeavours 
to  bring  home  divine  truths  to  the  confcience,  and 
duly  to  affed:  the  heart  with  them,  has  often  mind- 
ed meof  thofe  words  of  our  Lord,  (which  1  have 
thought  might  be  a  proper  exhortation  for  minifters 
in  refpedt  of  their  treating  with  others,  as  well  as 
for  perfons  in  general  with  regard  to  themfelves) 
Cleanfe  Jirjl  the  injide  of  the  cup  and  platter,  that  the 
outjide  may  be  clean  alfo.  Cleanfe,  fays  he,  the  in- 
fide,  that  the  outiidemaybe  clean,  q.  d.  The  on- 
ly cffecStual  way  to  have  the  out  fide  clean,  is,  to  be- 
gin with  what  is  within  ;  and  if  the  fountain  be 
purified,  the  n:reams  will  naturally  be  pure.  And 
moft  certain  it  is,  if  we  can  awaken  in  finners  a  live- 
ly fenfe  of  their  inward  pollution  and  depravity  ; 
their  need  of  a  change  of  heart;  and  fo  engage  theni 
io  feek  after  inward  cleanfing,  their  external  defile- 
ment will  naturally  be  cleanfed  ;  their  vicious  ways, 
of  courfe,  be  reformed,  and  their  converfation  and 
behaviour  become  regular. 

Now,  although  I  cannot  pretend  that  the  reform- 
ation among  my  people,  does,  in  every  inftancc, 
fpring  from  a  faving  change  of  heart,  yet  I  may 
truly  fay,  it  flows  from  fome  heart  affedling  view 
and  fenfe  of  divine  truths  that  all  have  had  in  a  great- 
er or  lefler  degree. 

1  do  not  intend  by  what  I  have  obferved  here,  to 
reprefent  the  preaching  of  morality,  and  prefljng 
perfons  to  the  external  performan-ce  of  duty,  to  be 
altogether  unneceflary  and  ufelefs  at  any  time  ;  and 
efpecially  at  times  when  there  is  lefs  of  divine  pow- 
er attending  the  means  of  grace  :  When  for  want  of 
internal  influences,  there  is  need  of  external  re- 
ftraints.     It  is,  doubtlcfs,  among  the  things  that 

ought 


GENERAL    REMARKS.       69 

ought  to  be  done,  while  others  are  not  to  be  left  undone. 
But  what  1  principally  defigned  by  this  remark,  was 
to  difcover  plain  matter  of  fadt,  viz.  That  the  re- 
formation, the  fobriety  and  external  compliance 
with  the  rules  and  duties  of  chriftianity,  appearing 
among  my  people,  are  not  the  efFcdl  of  any  mere 
dodtrmal  inftrudtion,  or  merely  rational  view  of  the 
beauty  of  morality,  but  from  the  internal  power 
and  influence  that  divine  truths  (the  foul  humbling 
dodtrines  of  grace)  have  had  upon  their  hearts. 

It  is  remarkable  alfo  that  God  has  fo  continued 
and  renewed    the  Ihowers  of  his  grace  here  ;    fo 
quickly  let  up   his  vilible  kingdom  among  thefe 
people;  and  fo  fmiled  upon  them  in  relation  to  their 
acquirement  ot  knowledge,  both  divine  and  human. 
It  is  now  near  a  year  lince  the  beginning  of  this  gra- 
cious outpouring  ot  the  divine  Spirit  among  them  : 
And  although  it  has  often  feemed  to  decline  and 
abate  for  fome  fhort  fpace  of  time  ("as  may  be  ob- 
ferved  by  feveral  paflages  in  my  Journal,  where  I  have 
endeavoured  to  note  things  juit  as  they  appeared  to 
me  from  time  to  time)  yet  the  fliower  has  feemed 
to  be  renewed,  and  the  work  of  grace  revived  again. 
And  as  God  has  continued  and  renewed  the  ftiow- 
ers  of  his  grace  among  this  people  for  ibme  time,  fo 
he  has  with  uncommon  quicknefs  fet  up  his  vifible 
kingdom,  and  gathered  himfelf  a  church  in  the  midfl 
of  them.  I  have  now  baptized  ibventy  feven  perfons  ; 
whereof  thirty  eight  are  adults,  and  thirty  nine  chil- 
dren ;  and  all  within  the  fpace  of  eleven  months  paft. 
And  it  rnufl  be  noted  that  I  have  baptized  no  adults, 
but  fuch  as  appeared  to  have  a  work  of  fpecial  grace 
wrought  in  their  hearts  :    I  mean  fuch  who  have 
had  the  experience  not  only  of  the  awakening  and 
liumbling,  but  (in  a  judgment  of  charity)  of   the 
renewing  and  comforting  influences  of  the  divine 
Spirit. 

I 


70        GENERAL    REMARKS. 

I  likewife  adminiftered  the  Lord*s  fupper  to  a 
number  of  perfons,  who,  I  have  abundant  reafon  to 
think  (as  I  elfewhere  obferved)  were  proper  fubjedts 
of  that  ordinance,  within  the  fpace  of  ten  months 
and  ten  days  after  my  firfl:  coming  among  thefe  In- 
dians in  New-Jerfcy.  And  from  the  time  that,  I 
am  informed,  fome  of  them  were  attending  an  idol- 
atrous feaft  and  facrifice  in  honour  to  devils,  to  the 
time  they  fat  down  at  the  Lord's  table  (I  trufl:)  to 
the  honour  of  God,  was  not  more  than  a  full  year. 
Surely  Chrift*s  little  flock  here,  fo  fuddenly  gather- 
ed from  among  pagans,  may  juflly  fay,  in  the  lan- 
guage of  the  church  of  old ,  The  Lord  hath  done  great 
things  for  us^  whereof  we  are  glad. 

Much  of  the  goodnefs  of  God  has  alfo  appeared 
in  relation  to  their  acquirement  of  knowledge,  both 
in  religion  and  in  the  affairs  of  common  life.  There 
has  been  a  wonderful  thirft  after  chriflian  knowledge 
prevailing  among  them  in  general,  and  an  eager  de- 
lire  of  being  infirudled  in  chriftian  dottrines  and 
manners.  This  has  prompted  them  to  afk  many 
pertinent  as  well  as  important  queftions  j  the  anfwers 
to  which  have  tended  much  to  enlighten  their  minds 
and  promote  their  knowledge  in  divine  things. 
Many  of  the  doArines  I  have  delivered,  they  have 
queried  with  me  about,  in  order  to  gain  further 
light  and  infight  into  them  ;  particularly  the  doc- 
trine of  predeftination.  And  have  from  time  to 
time  manifefted  a  good  underdanding  of  them,  by 
the  anfwers  to  the  queftions  propofed  to  them  in  nly 
chatechetical  lectures. 

They  have  likewife  queried  with  me,  refpedling 
a  proper  method  as  well  as  proper  m.atter  of  prayer, 
and  expreflions  fuitable  to  be  made  ufe  of  in  that 
religious  exercife  ;  and  have  taken  pains  in  or- 
der to  the  performance  of  this  dury  with  underftand- 
ing. 

They 


GENERAL    REMARKS.       71 

They  have  likewife  taken  pains,  and  appeared  re- 
markably apt  in  learning  to  fing  pfalm  tunes,  and 
are  now  able  to  fing  with  a  good  degree  of  decency 
in  the  worfhip  of  God. 

They  have  alfo  acquired  a  confiderable  degree  of 
ufeful  knowledge  in  the  affairs  of  common  life  : 
So  that  they  now  appear  like  rational  creatures,  fit 
for  human  fociety,  free  of  that  favage  roughnefs 
and  brutifh  ftupidity,. which  rendered  them  very 
difagreeable  in  their  pagan  flate. 

And  as  they  are  defirous  of  inftrudtion,  and  fur- 
prifingly  apt  in  the  reception  of  it,  fo  Divine  Provi- 
dence has  fmiled  upon  them  in  regard  of  proper 
means  in  order  to  it.  The  attempts  made  for  the  pro- 
curement of  a  fchool  among  them  have  been  fucceed- 
ed,  and  a  kind  Providence  has  fent  them  a  fchool- 
mafler,  of  whom  I  may  juftly  fay,  I  know  of  no  tnan 
like  minded  t  who  will  naturally  care  for  ihtixjlate. 

He  has  generally  thirty  or  thirty  five  children  in 
his  fchool :  And  when  he  kept  an  evening  fchool  (as 
he  did  while  the  length  of  the  evenings  would  admit 
of  it)  he  had  fifteen  or  twenty  people,  married  and 
fingle.    * 

The  children  learn  with  furprifing  readinefs  ;  fo 
that  their  mafter  tells  me,  he  never  had  an  Englifh 
fchool  that  learned,  in  general,  comparably  fo  faft. 
There  were  not  above  two  in  thirty,  although  fome 
of  them  were  very  fmall,  but  what  learned  to  know 
all  fhc  letters  in  the  alphabet  diftindlly,  within  three 
days  after  his  entrance  upon  his  bufinefs  ;  and  di- 
vers in  that  fpace  of  time  learned  to  fpell  conlidera- 
bly  :  And  fome  of  them  fince  the  beginning  of  Feb- 
ruary laft  (at  which  time  the  fchool  was  fet  up) 
have  learned  fo  much,  that  they  are  able  to  read  in  a 
Pfalter  or  Teflament  without  fpelling. 

They  are  inlT:ru<5ted  twice  a  week  in  the  reverend 
aflembly's  Ihorter  catcchifm,  viz.  on  Wednefda/ 

C  c  and 


72        GENERAL    REMARKS. 

and  Saturday.  And  fomeofthcm,  fince  the  latter 
end  of  February,  (at  which  time  they  began)  have 
learned  to  fay  it  pretty  dicSlindtly  by  heart  confidera- 
bly  more  than  half  through  :  And  moft  of  them 
have  made  fome  proficiency  in  it. 

They  are  Hkewife  inftrud:ed  in  the  duty  of  fe- 
cret  prayer,  and  moft  of  them  conftantly  attend  it 
night  and  morning,  and  arc  very  careful  to  inform 
their  mafter  if  they  apprehend  any  of  their  little 
fchool  mates  negledl  that  religious  exercife. 

It  is  worthy  to  be  noted  alfo,  to  the  praife  of  fov- 
ereign  grace,  that  amidft  fo  great  a  work  of  convic- 
tion, fo  much  concern  and  religious  afFecftion,  there 
has  been  no  pravelency,  nor  indeed  any  confiderable 
appearance  of  falfe  religion,  (if  1  may  fo  term  it)  or 
heats  of  imagination,  intemperate  zeal,  and  fpiritu- 
al  pride  ;  which  corrupt  mixtures  too  often  attend 
the  revival  and  powerful  propagation  of  religion  j 
and  that  there  have  been  fo  very  few  inftances  of 
irregular  and  fcandalous  behaviour  among  thofe  who 
have  appeared  ferious. 

But  this  work  of  grace  has,  in  the  main,  been  car- 
ried on  with  a  furprifing  degree  of  purity,  and  free- 
dom from  trafh  and  corrupt  mixture.  The  relig- 
ious concern  that  perfons  have  been  under  has  gen- 
erally been  rational  and  juft;  arifing  from  a  fenfe  of 
their  fins  and  expofednefs  to  the  divine  difpleafure 
on  the  account  of  them  ;  as  well  as  their  utter  ina- 
bility to  deliver  themfelves  from  the  mifery  they 
felt  and  feared.  And  if  there  has  been  in  any  in- 
ftances an  appearance  of  irrational  concern  and  per- 
turbation of  mind,  when  the  fubjedts  of  it  knew  not 
"why,  yet  there  has  been  no  prevalency  of  any  fuch 
thing  ;  and  indeed  I  fcarce  know  of  any  inftance  of 
that  nature  at  all.  And  it  is  very  remarkable,  that 
although  the  concern  of  many  perfons  under  con- 
vi(^ions  of  their  perifhing  i^ate  has  been  very  great 

and 


GENERAL    REMARKS.        73 

and  prefling,  yet  I  have  never  feen  any  thing  like 
defperation  attending  it  in  any  one  inftance.  They 
have  had  the  moft  lively  fenie  of  their  undonenefs 
in  themfelves  ;  have  been  brought  to  give  up  all 
hopes  of  deliverance  frorni  themfelves  ;  and  their 
fpiritual  exercifes  leading  hereto,  have  been  attend- 
ed with  great  diftrefs  and  anguilh  of  foul  :  And  yet, 
in  the  feaibns  of  the  greateft  extremity,  there  has 
been  no  appearance  of  defpair  in  any  of  them. 

The  comfort  that  perfons  have  obtained  after  their 
diflreffes,  has  likevvife  in  general  appeared  folid, 
well  grounded  and  fcriptural ;  arifing  from  a  fpirit- 
ual andfupcrnatural  illumination  of  mind,  a  view  of 
divine  things  (in  a  meafure)  as  they  arc,  a  compla- 
cency of  foul  in  the  divine  perfections,  and  a  pecu- 
liar fatisfadiion  in  the  way  of  falvation,  by  free  fov- 
ereign  grace  in  the  great  Redeemer. 

Their 'joys  have  feemed  to  rife  from  a  variety  of 
views  and  confiderations  of  divine  things,  although 
for  fubftance  the  fame.  Some,  who  under  convic- 
tion feemed  to  have  the  hardefl  ilruggles  and  heart 
rifings  againft  divine  fovereignty,  have  feemed  at 
the  firft  dawn  of  their  comfort,  to  rejoice  in  a  pecu- 
liar manner  in  that  divine  perfediion,  have  been  de- 
lighted to  think  that  themfelves,  and  all  things  elfe, 
were  in  the  hand  of  God,  and  that  he  would  dif- 
pofe  of  them  juft  as  he  pleafed. 

Others,  who  jufl:  before  their  reception  of  comfort, 
.  have  been  remarkably  opprelTed  with  a  fenfe  of  their 
undonenefs  and  poverty,  who  have  feen  themfelves, 
as  it  were,  falHng  down  into  remedilefs  perdition, 
have  been  at  firft  more  peculiarly  delighted  with  a 
view  of  the  frccncfs  and  riches  of  divine  grace,  and 
the  offer  of  falvation  made  to  periihing  fmners  'x^j'/b^ 
cut  mor,ey  and  ivif bout  price. 

Some  have  at  firft  appeared  to  rejoice  efpecially  in 
the  wifdom  of  God,  difcovered  in  the  way  of  falva- 

Qq%  tion 


74        GENERAL    REMARKS. 

tion  by  Chrift ;  it  then  appearing  to  them  a  new  and 
living  way,  a  way  they  had  never  thought  nor  had 
any  JLift  conception  of,  until  opened  to  them  by  the 
fpecial  influence  of  the  Divine  Spirit.  And  fome  of 
them,  upon  a  lively  fpiritual  view  of  this  way  of  fal- 
vation,  have  wondered  at  their  paft  folly  in  feeking 
falvation  other  ways,  and  have  admired  that  they 
never  faw  this  way  of  falvation  before,  which  now 
appeared  fo  plain  and  eafy,  as  well  as  excellent,  to 
them. 

Others  again  have  had  a  more  general  view  of  the 
beauty  and  excellency  of  Chrift,  and  have  had  their 
fouls  delighted  with  an  apprehenfion  of  his  divine 
glory,  as  unfpeakably  exceeding  all  they  had  ever 
conceived  of  before  :  Yet  without  fingling  out  (as 
it  were)  any  one  of  the  divine  perfe(fl:ions  in  particu- 
lar. So  that  although  their  comforts  have  feemed  to 
a  rife  from  a  variety  of  views  and  confiderations  of 
divine  glories,  ftill  they  were  fpiritual  and  fupernat- 
ral  views  of  them,  and  not  groundlefs  fancies,  that 
were  the  fpring  of  their  joys  and  comforts. 

Yet  it  muftbe  acknowledged,  that  when  this  work 
became  fo  univerfal  and  prevalent,  and  gained  fuch 
general  credit  and  efteem  among  the  Indians,  that 
Satan  feemed  to  have  little  ajjdvantage  of  working 
againft  it  in  his  own  proper  garb  ;  he  then  tranf- 
formed  himfelf  into  an  angel  of  light,  and  made  fome 
A'igorous  attempts  to  introdUjCe  turbulent  commo- 
tions of  the  paffions  in  the  room  of  genuine  convic- 
tions of  fin,  imaginary  and  fanciful  notions  of  Chrift, 
as  appearing  to  the  mental  eye  in  a  human  fhape, 
and  being  in  fome  particular  poftures,  &c.  in  the 
room  of  fpiritual  and  fupernatural  difcoveries  of  his 
divine  glory  and  excellency,  as  well  as  divers  other 
delufions.  And  I  have  reafon  to  think,  that  if  thefe 
things  had  met  with  countenance  and  encourage- 
ment, there  would  have  beea  a  very  conliderable  har- 

veft 


I 


GENERAL    REMARKS.       75 

veft  of  this  kind  of  converts  here.  Spiritual  pride 
alfo  difcovered  itfelf  in  various  inftances.  Some  per- 
fons  who  had  been  under  great  affections,  fcemed 
very  defirous  from  thence  of  being  thought  truly- 
gracious  ;  who,  when  I  could  not  but  cxprefs  to 
them  my  fears  refpediing  their  fpiritual  ftates,  dif- 
covered their  refentments  to  a  confiderable  degree 
upon  that  occafion.  There  alfo  appeared  in  one  or 
two  of  them  an  unbecoming  ambition  of  being  teach- 
ers of  others.  So  that  Satan  has  been  a  bufy  adver- 
fary  here  as  well  as  elfewhere.  But  bleffed  be  God, 
though  fomething  of  this  nature  has  appeared  yet 
nothing  of  it  has  prevailed,  nor  indeed  made  any 
confiderablc  progrefs  at  all.  My  people  are  now 
^apprized  of  thefe  things,  are  acquainted  that  Sa- 
tan in  fuch  a  manner  transformed himfelf  into  an  angel 
of  light  in  the  firft  feafon  of  the  great  outpouring  of 
the  Divine  Spirit  in  the  days  of  the  apoftles,  and  that 
fomething  of  this  nature,  in  a  greater  or  lelTer  degree, 
has  attended  almofi:  every  revival  and  remarkable 
propagation  of  true  religion  ever  iince.  And  they 
have  learned  fo  to  diftinguiih  between  the  gold  and 
drofs,  that  the  credit  of  the  latter  is  trod  down  like 
the  mire  of  the  ftreets  :  And  it  being  natural  for  th.is 
kind  of  fluff  to  die  with  its  credit,  there  is  now  fcarce 
any  appearance  of  it  among  them. 

And  as  there  has  been  no  prevalency  of  irregular 
heats,  imaginary  notions,  fpiritual  pride,  and  fatan- 
ical  delufions,  among  my  people,  {^^  there  has  been 
very  few  inftances  of  fcandalous  and  irregular  be- 
haviour among  thofe  who  have  made  a  profcflion,  or 
even  an  appearance  of  fcjioufnefs.  I  do  not  know 
of  more  than  three  or  four  fuch  perfons  that  have 
been  guilty  of  any  open  mifcondudt,  fince  their  firit 
acquaintance  with  chriftianity,  and  not  one  that  per- 
fifts  in  any  thing  of  that  nature.  And  perh«ps  the 
remarkable  purity  of  this  work  in  the  latter  refpcCil, 

C  c  3  its 


(76  Dijicuhies  attending  the 

its  freedom  from  frequent  inftances  of  fcandal,  is  very 
much  owing  to  its  purity  in  the  former  refpedl,  its 
freedom  from  corrupt  mixtures  of  fpiritual  pride, 
wild  fire  and  dclufion,  which  naturally  lay  a  founda- 
tion for  fcandalous  prad:ices. 

May  this  blejTed  work  in  the  power  and  purity  of 
it  prevail  among  the  poor  Indians  here,  as  well  as 
fpread  elfewhere,  until  their  remotefl  tribes  ihdWfee 
the  Salvation  of  God.    Amen. 

ENUMERATING  fome  of  the  difficulties  which 
obftiudted  his  fuccefs  in  chriftianizing  the  Indians, 
Mr.  Brainerd  fays, 

I  have  met  with  great  difficulty  in  my  work 
among  thefe  Indians,  from  the  rooted  averfion 
to  chriflianity  that  generally  prevails  among  them. 
They  are  not  only  brutifhly  flupid  and  ignorant  of 
divine  things,  but  many  of  them  arc  obflinately  fct 
againfl  chriftianity,  and  feem  to  abhor  even  the  chrif- 
tian  name. 

This  averfion  to  chriftianity  arifes  partly  from  the 
view  of  the  immorality  and  vicious  behaviour  of 
many  who  are  called  chriftians.  They  obferve  that 
horrid  wickednefs  in  nominal  chriftians,  which  the 
light  of  nature  condemns  in  themfelves  :  And  not 
having  diflinguifliing  views  of  things,  are  ready  to 
look  upon  all  the  white  people  alike,  and  to  con- 
demn them  alike  for  the  abominable  pradtices  of 
fome.  Hence,  when  I  have  attempted  to  treat  with 
them  about  chriftianity,  they  have  frequently  ob- 
jedted  the  fcandalous  pradtices  of  chriftians,  and  caft 
in  my  teeth  all  they  could  think  of  that  was  odious 
in  the  conduct  of  any  of  them.  Have  obferv- 
ed  to  *me,  that  the  white  people  lie,  defraud, 
fteal,  ^nd  drink,  worfe  than  the  Indians  :    That 

they 


Chrijlianizing  of  the  Indians,  77 

they  have  taught  the  Indians  thefe  things,  ef- 
pecially  the  latter  of  them  ;  who  before  the  com- 
ing of  the  Englifti,  knew  of  no  fuch  thing  as  ftrong ' 
drink  :  That  the  EngH 111  have  by  thefe  means, 
made  them  quarrel,  and  kill  one  another,  and  in 
a  word,  brought  them  to  the  practice  of  all 
thofe  vices  that  now  prevail  among  them.  So  that 
they  are  now  vaftly  more  vicious,  as  well  as  much 
more  miferable,  than  they  were  before  the  coming  of 
the  white  people  into  the  country. 

Thefe,  and  fuch  like  objedlions,  they  frequently 
make  againft  chriflianity,  wbich  are  not  eafily  an- 
fwered  to  their  fatisfad:ion  j  many  of  them  being  fails 
too  notorioufly  true. 

The  only  way  I  have  to  take  in  order  to  furmount 
this  difficulty,  is,  to  diflinguith  between  nominal 
and  realchriftians,  and  to  fhew  them  that  the  ill  con- 
dud:  of  many  of  the  former  proceeds  not  from 
their  being  chriilians,  but  from  their  being  chrif- 
tians  only  in  name,  not  in  heart,  &c.  To  which  it 
has  fometimes  been  objeded,  that  if  all  thofe  who  will 
cheat  the  Indians,  are  chriftians  only  in  name,  there 
are  but  few  left  in  the  country  to  be  chriftians  in 
heart.  This,  and  many  other  of  the  remarks  they 
pafs  upon  the  white  people,  and  their  miicarriages,  I 
am  forced  to  own,  and  cannot  but  grant,  that  many 
nominal  chriftians  are  more  abominably  wicked 
than  the  Indians.  But  then  I  attempt  to  fliow  them 
that  there  are  fome  who  feel  the  power  of  chriftian- 
ity,  that  are  not  fo.  And  I  aik  them  when  they  ev- 
er faw  me  guihy  of  the  vices  they  complain  of,  and 
charge  chriftians  in  general  with.  But  ftill  the  great 
difficulty  is,  that  the  people  who  live  back  in  the 
country  nearefl:  to  them,  and  the  traders  that  go 
among  them,  are  generally  of  the  moft  irreligious 
and  vicious  fort,  and  the  conduct  of  one  or  two  per- 
fons,  be  it  never  fo  exemplary,  is  not  fufficient  to 
C  c  4  counterbalance 


'j9  Difficulties  attending  the 

counterbalance  the  vicious  behaviour  of  fo  many 
of  the  fame  denomination,  and  io  to  recommend 
chriftianity  to  pagans. 

Another  thing  that  ferves  to  make  them  more 
avcrfe  to  chriftianity,  is  a  fear  of  being  enflaved. 
They  are,  perhaps,  feme  of  the  moft  jealous  people 
living,  and  extremely  averfe  to  a  ftate  of  fcrvitude, 
and  hence  are  always  afraid  of  fome  defign  forming 
againft  them.  Befides,  they  feem  to  have  no  fenti- 
ipents  of  generofity,  benevolence  and  goodnefs  : 
That  if  any  thing  be  propofed  to  them,  as  being  for 
their  good,  they  are  ready  rather  to  fufped:  that  there 
is  at  bottom  fome  defign  forming  againft  them,  than 
that  fuch  propofals  flow  from  good  will  to  them,  and 
a  defire  of  their  welfare.  And  hence,  when  1  have 
attempted  to  recommend  chriftianity  to  their  accept- 
ance, they  have  fomctimes  objected,  that  the  white 
people  have  come  among  them,  have  cheated  them 
out  of  their  lands,  driven  them  back  to  the  moun- 
tains, from  thepleafant  places  they  ufed  to  enjoy  by 
the  fea  fide,  &c.  That  therefore  they  have  no  reafon 
to  think  the  white  people  are  now  feeking  their  wel- 
fare ;  but  rather  that  they  have  fent  me  out  to  draw 
them  together  under  a  pretence  of  kindnefs  to  them, 
that  they  may  have  an  opportunity  to  make  flavcs 
of  them  as  they  do  of  the  poor  negroes,  or  elfe  to 
fhip  them  on  board  their  vefTels,  and  make  them 
fight  with  their  enemies,  &c.  Thus  they  have  often- 
times conftrued  all  the  kindnefs  I  could  ftiew  them, 
and  the  hard  (hips  I  have  endured  in  order  to  treat 
with  them  about  chriftianity.  "  He  never  would 
(fay  they  J  take  all  this  pains  to  do  us  good  ;  he  muft 
have  fome  wicked  deiign  to  hurt  us  Ibme  way  or 
other."  And  to  give  them  afliirance  of  the  contrary, 
is  not  an  eafy  matter,  while  there  are  fo  many,  who 
(agreeable  to  their  apprehenfion)  are  only  feeking 
their  own,  not  the  good  of  others. 

To 


' 


Chrijiianizing  of  the  Indians,  7^ 

To  remove  this  difficulty  I  inform  them,  that  I 
am  not  fent  out  among  them  by  thofe  perfons  in 
thefe  provinces,  who,  they  fuppofe,  have  cheated 
them  out  of  their  lands,  but  by  pious  people  at  a 
great  diftance,  who  never  had  an  inch  of  their  lands, 
nor  ever  thought  of  doing  them  any  hurt,  &c. 

But  here  will  arife  fo  many  frivolous  and  imper- 
tinent queftions,  that  it  would  tire  one's  patience, 
and  wear  out  one*s  fpirits  to  hear  them  ;  fuch  as 
that,  **  But  why  did  not  thefe  good  people  fend  you 
to  teach  us  before,  while  we  had  our  lands  down  by 
the  fea  fide,  &c?  If  they  had  fent  you  then,  we  fhould 
likely  have  heard  you  and  turned  chriftians."  The 
poor  creatures  ftill  imagining  that  I  fhould  be  much 
beholding  to  them  in  cafe  they  would  hearken  tochrif- 
tianity,  and  inlinuating  that  this  was  a  favour  they 
could  not  now  be  fo  good  as  to  fhew  me,  feeing  they 
bad  received  fo  many  injuries  from  the  white  people. 

Another  fpring  of  averfion  to  chriflianity  in  the 
Indians,  is,  theix  ftrong  attachment  to  their  own  re- 
ligious notions,  (if  they  maybe  called  religious)  and 
the  early  prejudices  they  have  imbibed  in  favour  of 
their  own  frantick  and  ridiculous  kind  of  worfhip. 
What  their  notions  of  God  are,  in  their  pagan  flate, 
is  hard  precifely  to  determine.  I  have  taken  much 
pains  to  inquire  of  my  chriflian  people  whether 
they,  before  their  acquaintance  with  chriftianity, 
imagined  there  was  a  plurality  of  great  invifiblc 
powers,  or  whether  they  fuppofed  but  one  fuch  be- 
ing, and  worfhipped  him  in  a  variety  of  forms  and 
fhapes  :  But  cannot  learn  any  thing  of  them  fo  dif- 
tind:  as  to  be  fully  fatisfying  upon  the  point.  Their 
notions  in  that  ftate  were  {o  prodigioully  dark  and 
confufed,  that  they  leemed  not  to  know  v/hat  they 
thought  themfelves.  But  fo  far  as  1  can  learn,  they 
had  a  notion  of  a  plurality  of  invifible  deities,  and 
paid  fome  kind  of  homage  to  them  promifcuoufly, 

under 


So  Difficulties  attending  the 

under  a  great  variety  of  forms  and  (hapes.  And  it 
is  certain,  thofe  who  yet  remain  pagans  pay  fome 
kind  of  fuperftitious  reverence  to  bcafts,  birds,  fifti- 
es, and  even  reptiles;  that  is,  fome  to  one  kind  of  an- 
imal and  fome  to  another.  They  do  not  indeed  fup- 
pofe  a  divine  power  effential  to»  or  inherent  in  thefc 
creatures,  but  that  fome  invifible  beings  (I  cannot 
learn  that  it  is  always  one  fuch  being  only,  but  di- 
vers ;  not  diftinguifhed  from  each  other  by  certain 
names,  but  only  notionally)  communicate  to  thefe 
animals  a  great  power,  either  one  or  other  of  them, 
(juft  as  it  happens)  or  perhaps  fometimes  all  of 
them,  and  fo  make  thefe  creatures  the  immediate  au- 
thors of  good  to  certain  perfons.  Whence  fuch  a 
creature  becomes  facred  to  the  perfons  to  whom  he  is 
fuppofed  to  be  the  immediate  author  of  good,  and 
through  him  they  muft  worfhip  the  invifible  pow- 
ers, though  to  others  he  is  no  more  than  another 
creature.  And  perhaps  another  animal  is  looked 
upon  to  be  the  immediate  author  of  good  to  another, 
and  confequently  he  muft.  worfhip  the  invifible 
powers  in  that  animal.  And  I  have  known  a  pagan 
burn  fine  tobacco  for  incenfe,  in  order  to  appeafe  the 
anger  of  that  invifible  power  which  he  fuppofed 
prefided  over  rattlefnakes,  becaufe  one  of  thefe  ani- 
mals was  killed  by  another  Indian  near  his  houfe. 

But  after  the  ftrid:efl:  inquiry  refpedling  their  no- 
tions of  the  Deity,  I  find,  that  in  ancient  times,  be- 
fore the  coming  of  the  white  people,  fome  fuppofed 
there  were  four  invifible  powers  who  prefided  over 
the  four  corners  of  the  earth.  Others  imagined  the 
fun  to  be  the  only  deity,  and  that  all  things  were 
made  by  him  :  Others  at  the  fame  time  having  a 
confufed  notion  of  a  certain  body  or  fountain  of  de- 
ity, fomewhat  like  the  anima  mundi,  fo  frequently 
mentioned  by  the  more  learned  ancient  heathens, 
diffufing  itfelf  to  various  animals,  and  even  to  inani- 
mate 


Chriflianizing  of  the  Indians.  8i 

mate  things,  making  them  the  immediate  authors 
of  good  to  certain  perfons,  as  was  before  ob- 
ferved  with  refped:  to  various  fuppofed  deities. 
But  after  the  coming  of  the  white  people,  they  feem- 
ed  to  fuppofe  there  were  three  deities,  and  three  on- 
ly, becaufe  they  faw  people  of  three  different  kinds 
of  complexion,  viz.  Englifh,  Negroes  and  them- 
felvcs.  <i 

It  is  a  notion  pretty  generally  prevailing  among 
them,  that  it  was  not  the  fame  God  made  them  who 
made  us  ;  but  that  they  were  made  after  the  white 
people  ;  which  further  fhews,  that  they  imagine  a 
plurality  of  divine  powers.  And  I  fancy  they  fup- 
pofe their  god  gained  fome  fpecial  fkill  by  feeing 
the  white  people  made,  and  fo  made  them  better  : 
For  it  is  certain  they  look  upon  themfelves  and  their 
methods  of  living  (which,  they  fay,  their  god  ex- 
prefsly  prefcribed  for  them)  vaftly  preferable  to  the 
white  people,  and  their  methods.  And  hence  will 
frequently  fit  and  laugh  at  them,  as  being  good  for 
nothing  elfe  but  to  plough,  and  fatigue  themfelves 
with  hard  labour  ;  while  they  enjoy  the  fatisfac- 
tion  of  flretching  themfelves  on  the  ground,  and 
fleeping  as  much  as  they  pleafe,  and  have  no  other 
trouble  but  now  and  then  to  chafe  the  deer,  which 
is  often  attended  with  pleafure  rather  than  pain. 
Hence,  by  the  way,  many  of  them  look  upon  it  as 
difgraceful  for  them  to  become  chriflians,  as  it  would 
be  efleemed  among  chriflians  for  any  to  become  pa- 
gans. And  now  although  they  fuppofe  our  religion 
will  do  well  enough  for  us,  becaufe  prefcribed  by 
our  God,  yet  it  is  no  ways  proper  for  them,  becaufe 
not  of  the  fame  make  and  original.  This  they  have 
fometimes  offered  as  a  reafon  why  they  did  not  in- 
cline to  hearken  to  chriflianity. 

They  feem  to  liave  fome  confufed  notion  about  a 
future  flate  of  exiftence,  and  many  of  them  imagine 

that 


8^  Difficulties  attending  the 

that  the  Chichung  (i.  e.  The  fhadow)  or  what  fur- 
vives  the  body,  will  at  death  go  fouthward,  and  in 
an  unknown,  but  curious  place,  will  enjoy  lomc 
kind  of  happinefsjfuch  as  hunting,  fealling,  dancing, 
and  the  like.  ,  And  what  they  fuppofe  will  contrib- 
ute much  to  their  happinefs  in  that  (late  is,  ifriat  they 
fhall  never  be  weary  of  thofe  entertainments.  It 
feemsby  this  notion  of  their  going  fouthward  to  obtain 
happinefs,  as  if  they  had  their  courfe  into  thefe  parts 
of  the  world  from  fome  very  cold  climate,  and  found 
the  further  they  went  fouthward  the  more  comfort- 
able they  were  ;  and  thence  concluded,  that  perfedH: 
felicity  was  to  be  found  further  towards  the  fame 
point. 

They  feemto  have  fome  faint  and  glimmering  no- 
tion about  rewards  and  punifhments,  or  at  leaft  hap- 
pinefs and  mifery  in  a  future  ftate,  that  is,  fome  that  I 
have  converfed  with,  though  others  feem  to  know  of 
no  fuch  thing.  Thofe  that  fuppole  this,  feem  to  im- 
agine that  moft  will  be  happy,  and  that  thofe  who 
are  not  fo,  will  be  punifhed  only  with  privation, 
being  only  excluded  the  walls  of  that  good  world, 
where  happy  fouls  fhall  dwell. 

Thefe  rewards  and  punifhments  they  fuppofe  to  de- 
pend entirely  upon  their  conduct  with  relation  to  the 
duties  of  the  fecond  table,  i.e.  theirbehaviour  towards 
mankind,  and  feem,  fo  far  as  I  can  fee,  not  to  imag- 
ine that  they  have  any  reference  to  their  religious 
notions  or  pradlices,  or  any  thing  that  relates  to  the 
worfhip  of  God.  I  remember  I  once  conlulted  a 
very  ancient,  but  intelligent  Indian,  upon  this  point, 
for  my  own  fatisfadtion  ;  alked  him  whether  the 
Indians  of  old  times  had  fuppofed  there  was  any 
thing  of  the  man  that  would  furvive  the  body.  He 
replied,  Yes.  I  afkedhim,  where  they  fuppofed  its 
abode  would  be.  He  replied.  It  would  go  fouthward. 
I  afked  him  further,  whether  it  would  be  happy 

there. 


Chrijiianizlng  of  the  Indians,  83 

there.  He  anfwered,  after  a  confiderable  paufe, 
that  the  fouls  of  good  folks  would  be  happy,  and 
the  fouls  of  bad  folks  miferable.  I  then  aflced  him, 
who  he.  called  bad  folks.  His  anfwer  (as  I  remem- 
ber) was,  thofe  who  lie.  Ileal,  quarrel  with  their 
neighbours,  arc  unkind  to  their  friends,  and  efpecial- 
]y  to  aged  parents,  and  in  a  word,  fuch  as  are  a 
plague  to  mankind.  Thefe  were  his  bad  folks  ; 
but  not  a  word  was  faid  about  their  neglect  of  di- 
vine worfhip,  and  their  badnefs  in  that  refpe6l. 

They  have  indeed  fome  kind  of  religious  wor- 
fliip,  are  frequently  offering  facrifices  to  fome  fup- 
pofed  invifible  powers,  and  are  very  ready  to  impute 
their  calamities  in  the  prefent  world,  to  the  negled: 
of  thefe  facrifices  j  but  there  is  no  appearance  of  rev- 
erence and  devotion  in  the  homage  they  pay  them  1 
and  what  they  do  of  this  nature,  feems  to  be  done 
only  to  appeafe  the  fuppofed  anger  of  their  deities, 
to  engage  them  to  be  placable  to  themfelves,  and 
do  them  no  hurt,  or  at  m.ofl,  only  to  invite  thefe 
powers  to  fucceed  them  in  thofe  enterprifes  they  are 
engaged  in  refpedting  the  prefent  life.  So 'that  in 
offering  thefe  facrifices,  they  feem  to  have  no  refer- 
ence to  a  future  ftate,  but  only  to  prefent  comfort. 

What  further  contributes  to  their  averfionto  chrif- 
tianity,  is,  the  influence  that  their  powwows  (con- 
jurers or  diviners)  have  upon  them.  Thefe  are  a 
fort  of  perfons  who  are  fuppofed  to  have  a  power  of 
foretelling  future  events,  of  recovering  the  fick,  at 
leafl:  oftentimes,  and  of  charming,  enchanting,  or 
poifoning  perfons  to  death,  by  their  magick  divina- 
tions. And  their  fpirit,  in  its  various  operations. 
feems  to  be  a  fatanical  imitation  of  the  fpirit  of 
prophecy  that  the  church  in  early  ages  was  favoured 
with.  Some  of  thefe  diviners  are  endowed  with  this 
fpirit  in  infimcy.  Others  in  adult  age.  It  feems 
not  to  depend  upon  ihcirown  will,  nor  to  be  acquir- 
ed 


84  'Difficulties  at  tendings  ^c, 

cd  by  any  endeavours  of  the  perfon  who  is  the  fub- 
jedl  of  it,  although  it  is  fuppofed  to  be  given  to  chil- 
dren fometimes  in  confequence  of  fome  means  the 
parents  ufe  with  them  for  that  purpofe  :  One  of 
which  is  to  make  the  child  fwallow  a  fmall  living 
frog,  after  having  performed  fome  fuperftitious  rites 
and  ceremonies  upon  it.  They  are  not  under  the  in- 
fluence of  this  fpirit  always  alike  j  but  it  comes  up- 
on them  at  times.  And  thofe  who  are  endowed 
with  it,  are  accounted  Angularly  favoured. 

Thefe  things  ferve  to  fix  them  down  in  their  idol- 
atry, and  to  make  them  believe  there  is  no  fafety  to 
be  cxpedled,  but  by  their  continuing  to  offer  fuch 
facrifices.  And  the  influence  that  thefe  powwows 
have  upon  them,  either  through  the  elleem  or  fear 
they  have  of  them,  is  no  fmall  hindrance  to  their  em- 
bracing chriftianity. 


FINIS, 


^^ 


Ita.'**-  ■-'^>-^ 


/   .v.-'vi;^ipp:«*^j*ii^i|ii»»i.»f«W»i'^''!'"«»'i-'i-tssi^T*:! 


•IIW?!^?^^'^^ 


r* 


